Parent-Gaf: Do you pay your kids for grades?

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JCX

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Growing up, I always found it weird when classmates would get excited around report card time since they would be paid for good grades. Some didn't even need to get A's, they h ad a sliding scale down to C's.

I was just expected to do well for my own future's sake.

Do any parents on gaf do this? If so, why?

Did any gaffers get paid for grades? If so, did it motivate you to do better than you would have otherwise?
 
Fuck no lol

They do get that ass ridden if they start slacking, say they got this, and then progress reports/report cards come out which show other wise though.
 
I've never heard of paying kids, but I've heard of kids sometimes being given motivations for better grades, like buying a toy.
 
Trips, candy, ice cream, or a new game depending on the circumstances of the grade (if they didn't struggle with it, I don't reward them for it. If they were having issues with it and manage to overcome it, they deserve a reward for it). I wouldn't give them straight up cash though, and it will probably stop after 4th grade.

KmA said:
I feel like this is a white thing lmao.
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I'm black and my dad would do these things for me, my brother and my sister. Whenever I got straight A's, he'd take me to the arcade. This is less of a "white" thing and more of a "I want my child to succeed" thing.
 
I've heard of this practice, but we won't be doing that. Definitely not with straight up money at least. Maybe some other kind of incentive. And certainly not for C's.
 
My Aunt paid me for straight As in elementary and middle school. It was a nice perk for excelling, but it wasn't the main motivation for getting good grades. I just wanted to excel at the things I was tasked with. I would probably give my get some extra money if he got straight As.
 
I could see myself getting them a video game as a surprise if they showed really great improvement from one report card to the next. But fuck no at consistently paying them off for getting good grades.
 
I was corrupted by video games since a young age, so no amount of incentives could straighten me out. I did good enough in the end though.
 
tkscz said:
Trips, candy, ice cream, or a new game depending on the circumstances of the grade (if they didn't struggle with it, I don't reward them for it. If they were having issues with it and manage to overcome it, they deserve a reward for it). I wouldn't give them straight up cash though, and it will probably stop after 4th grade.



I'm black and my dad would do these things for me, my brother and my sister. Whenever I got straight A's, he'd take me to the arcade. This is less of a "white" thing and more of a "I want my child to succeed" thing.
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I'm black too. I would maybe get to rent a game for good grades or something, but I feel that is different from cash.

For context, I knew people who were getting paid through high school.
 
I'll give them a chance to do well on their own but I'd have no problem doing this. You get paid for everything else in life and it's not a bad lesson to teach them early on. You do well, you get paid for it. School is important, whatever it takes to get them to do well.

I'm a very extrinsically motivated person myself. If my work for some reason announced that there'd be no more promotions or raises ever again I'd kick back and do the bare minimum.
 
We only reward them for straight As.

So good grades, yay great job kids!

Perfect grades? Wow you did amazing, let's celebrate. Dinner of your choice and 20 bucks or a new video game.

It works as an incentive to always try to do better, I think.
 
Never happened for me. I got nothing for good grades and a ass whopping for bad grades. I doubt I'll do it for my kids, but pressure will be put on them for good grades. They already have savings accounts with money being deposited each week in there for them and good grades are expected, so I shouldn't have to give them more for that.
 
I'm sixteen, going into my major exams before college next June. I've never been paid for grades and have always gotten straight A's and B's. Where as some classmates literally get 20 euro's an A. Some get paid just for getting C's.

Oh, I got new headphones a year ago when I got 9 A's and two B's.
 
Our kids get a report card every 9 weeks and if they have all A's on there, we usually get them some small toy or something. I'm fine with this until they get to 5th grade or so.

Now my in-laws give them $100 cash if they get all A's for the entire year. Our son did it last year and had a benjamin sitting in his wallet for most of the summer.

These are good incentives but once they hit a certain age the "do well because you'll get something" stuff will be phased out.
 
In a roundabout way. My parents paid to have my 360 fixed. Then when Microsoft sent back the 100 dollars to everyone because their product was bound to fail (in nearly most cases) I was given the check because I had done really well at school that semester. It's true that I probably applied myself the most I ever had during high school.
 
When my kids get older enough, then yes. The reason? Better grades saves me money when paying for their college. So I would rather give a $20 for an A and save thousands when they get to school because of scholarships, etc.


Worked well for my parents!
 
My dad did it once. Said if I made honor roll he would give me 100 dollars. Was the only time I ever made honor roll.
 
My parents never paid me and I still got good grades, same with the wife. Not sure we have any inclination of paying our future kids for grades.
 
Luschient said:
These are good incentives but once they hit a certain age the "do well because you'll get something" stuff will be phased out.
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Funny because when they turn 21 and enter the real world that's all they'll be seeing.

Edit: That came off wrong, not being argumentative, just find it interesting you'd stop at a certain age when they are more likely to understand that their pay in the real world will be directly tied to their performance.
 
ParityBit said:
When my kids get older enough, then yes. The reason? Better grades saves me money when paying for their college. So I would rather give a $20 for an A and save thousands when they get to school because of scholarships, etc.


Worked well for my parents!
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Hmm this is an interesting argument that I hadn't heard. I feel like a lot of kids get really good grades and still end up paying a lot for college. Would better position them for potentially getting scholarships though. Very interesting.
 
I have a three week old and I recently asked myself this very question. Some sort of incentive would be nice I imagine.

I don't think grade/middle school or even most high school kids are mature enough to truly understand why it is important to work hard in school so why not help em out some other way?
 
My kids are spoiled as shit by and large, but I don't pay them for grades. We reward them for many things, including some efforts in school, but not for straight grades partly because up to this point (through grade four) the grades are more subjective than objective. We rarely get any real explanation from their teachers about why they receive any specific grade, so it is not reasonable at all to monetize them.
 
ElNino said:
My kids are spoiled as shit by and large, but I don't pay them for grades. We reward them for many things, including some efforts in school, but not for straight grades partly because up to this point (through grade four) the grades are more subjective than objective. We rarely get any real explanation from their teachers about why they receive any specific grade, so it is not reasonable at all to monetize them.
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Teach them to play that game, find out what it takes to get an A and get it done :P

jk

Roboleon said:
Nope. I hope we'll be able to cultivate an interest in learning, self-development and a joy in reaching the goals they set for themselves that goes a little bit beyond raising Pavlovian dogs :p
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Pavlovia will be a fantastic stage name when their self-development meanders into balllet, then dancing, then a need for money because they ignored math and social sciences.

also jk
 
Nope. I hope we'll be able to cultivate an interest in learning, self-development and a joy in reaching the goals they set for themselves that goes a little bit beyond raising Pavlovian dogs :p
 
JCX said:
Hmm this is an interesting argument that I hadn't heard. I feel like a lot of kids get really good grades and still end up paying a lot for college. Would better position them for potentially getting scholarships though. Very interesting.
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I would never tell someone how or what to do with bringing up their kids. This is just my experience. I learned both reward systems in the near (instant cash on grade day) and future (putting in the work saved me and my parents money, got the school I wanted and have a good job/future)

As repayment to my parents I got married in Jamaica and paid for them to go there for 2 weeks. :) I thank them all the time!
 
I was offered 100$ for straight A's starting in 4th grade. Nothing for anything less.

I had never gotten straight A's, but I did on every report card through 7th

It can be a good motivator. Not sure I'll be doing it for my kids though. I plan to be much more involved in my kids education than my own parents, so hopefully it won't be needed.
 
I was allowed to pick out one or two video games at the end of the year if I got straight A's. One year I got two decks and about five booster packs of Pokémon cards instead. Another I did get a GBA.

I never got anything less than straight A's but the implication was there that I would be punished if I did. If I got anything less than 100 on an exam, I was made to study longer and told I was lazy and dumb. I probably would have kept up the grades anyways, but the punishment was more on my mind than the reward. :P
 
ParityBit said:
When my kids get older enough, then yes. The reason? Better grades saves me money when paying for their college. So I would rather give a $20 for an A and save thousands when they get to school because of scholarships, etc.


Worked well for my parents!
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Good model for them to get the scholarships, but you're also not obligated to pay for their college. Life's a struggle but myself and my wife both got through university without financial assistance from our parents. Maybe help them out when you think they really need it. Knowing they have college paid for in advance could make them more lackadaisical about it.
 
KmA said:
I feel like this is a white thing lmao.
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I'm black. My bro got paid for good grades but not me, because I was already "A good student" so apparently, I didn't need the motivation. -_- If you gonna incentivize be cool about it.

I don't think I'll incentivize my kids if I ever have em but I think a reward is nice, not one that they see coming and not directly through cash. Lil shits would spend it on stupid shit, like my bro did. Ya know I think I'm still bitter.
 
Maybe if it becomes an issue. At the moment she gets top marks because she likes doing it, so we will keep going with that as long as we can. She starts an accelerated learning (GT) track this year so we'll see how it goes.
 
Amikami said:
I'm black. My bro got paid for good grades but not me, because I was already "A good student" so apparently, I didn't need the motivation. -_- If you gonna incentivize be cool about it.

I don't think I'll incentivize my kids if I ever have em but I think a reward is nice, not one that they see coming and not directly through cash. Lil shits would spend it on stupid shit, like my bro did. Ya know I think I'm still bitter.
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That part bugged me growing up - it was mostly low performing kids getting paid. Almost felt incentivized to do poorly enough for my parents would resort to paying me to care about grades.
 
Pau said:
I never got anything less than straight A's but the implication was there that I would be punished if I did. If I got anything less than 100 on an exam, I was made to study longer and told I was lazy and dumb. I probably would have kept up the grades anyways, but the punishment was more on my mind than the reward. :P
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I remember kids who had it rough like this, I remember a girl crying that she had a b+ in the 5th grade because her parents would be disappointed. I feel like I'll reward straight As or honor roll and figure it out from there, no rewards for C's .. never got why that was a thing with some people.
 
pestul said:
Good model for them to get the scholarships, but you're also not obligated to pay for their college. Life's a struggle but myself and my wife both got through university without financial assistance from our parents. Maybe help them out when you think they really need it. Knowing they have college paid for in advance could make them more lackadaisical about it.
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Yes and no.

First I live in the U.S and we are screwed :P But in addition to getting paid for, if they do not use what my wife and I save because of scholarships, we plan on giving them the extra money to be part of a graduation gift that they can use for a house, grad school, whatever. Paying it forward!
 
Not a parent yet but when we were younger my sisters and I got to choose a celebratory dinner (usually an indian buffet if I was picking, sometimes just a cheap take away, we were kids after all, we just picked whatever we didn't get much!)

When we got a bit older we got the meal and some money or a present like a game or a book or something.

When I have kids I'll probably end up doing something similar. It's good to have an incentive for success and kids are too shortsighted to get that the incentive should be "being a more educated person and being able to do something you enjoy for a living or at least something which pays well."
 
I do want they to associate hard work with an occasional payoff. But I don't want them to think that the ONLY reason to work hard is to gain material shit.

So it'll be a balancing act. Not gonna let my kid game and play when they getting dogshit grades. They gonna have to learn delaying their gratification and work before play.
 
Roboleon said:
Nope. I hope we'll be able to cultivate an interest in learning, self-development and a joy in reaching the goals they set for themselves that goes a little bit beyond raising Pavlovian dogs :p
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Yeah, it's good to have dreams. This kind of theoretical 'by-the-book' parenting usually falls completely flat in practice in many households.

Giving kids an incentive to perform well at school is quite common.
Not straight money, but i'd absolutely treat my kids to something they'd really enjoy if they did their best at school. Concert tickets, a weekend trip, celebrating with a luxury dinner, that kind of thing. Putting a monetary value on grades feels wrong.
 
JCX said:
That part bugged me growing up - it was mostly low performing kids getting paid. Almost felt incentivized to do poorly enough for my parents would resort to paying me to care about grades.
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Ding ding ding. Exactly. I didn't tho because they would catch on. They already knew I was a fast learner and I hated to get a bad grade. Was a bit of a perfectionist, though I would have let up for some cash cuz allowance wasn't much of a thing for us, but I didn't see myself getting away with it even if I did. sucks but it is what it is. The world is unfair and all that. Guess I should thank my parents for teaching me early. lmao
 
This is comes down to intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation. Any teacher will tell you that intrinsic motivation is better in principle. That doesn't mean that extrinsic motivation isn't useful or effective though. It can be something that you resort to if you are having a difficult time motivating your kid.
 
my dad promised to buy a microwave oven if i got an "A"

i was so happy to be able to eat a TV dinner for the first time in the 90's-00's (i forgot when we got it)
 
School is basically a kid's job. My dad paid me for every A I got and it actually made me want to work harder. The difference between 0 money for a B and like 5-10 bucks for an A was huge at my age. It meant if i got 5+ As i could get a video game so I worked my butt off. When you can half ass a class and get a B or work your ass off and get a video game, I always chose to work my ass off.

It was motivation not driven by fear, so I agree with it.
 
Roboleon said:
Nope. I hope we'll be able to cultivate an interest in learning, self-development and a joy in reaching the goals they set for themselves that goes a little bit beyond raising Pavlovian dogs :p
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This would require interest in the subjects taught at school. For all you know, that interest will be making twich streams of CS killstreaks.

I can imagine the discussion. "But you guys taught me to pursue learning and self-development" followed with "Yeah, but that was for math, physics etc".
 
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