Girlfriend Stuck in 1 Year Bedroom Lease with Ex-Boyfriend: Advice?

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Kitoro

Member
Thread's run its course. I've gotten great advice and will implement it moving forward. Thank you to everyone, for the advice, laughs, and/or shaming. :p
 
She's been staying over at my home most nights since we started dating 3 weeks back, and dreads going back there, because he constantly tries to kiss her, and she wakes up to him spooning her at night in the twin bed they share. She only goes back because she has pets there that she misses.

This is big wtf to me. Would it be possible to get a restraining order?

Also, why would they continue to share a twin bed? The floor is always an option
 

ShyMel

Member
He gets into the same bed as her at night, even though they have broken up? He needs to get himself on the couch or floor and stay there.
 

xevis

Banned
1. It's not your problem.
2. Don't make it your problem.
3. It's just a lease. You can break it but there's usually a penalty. Or find someone to take over the lease.

EDIT:
She's still sleeping in the same bed as the ex? Yikes! :S
 

SpaceWolf

Banned
She's been staying over at my home most nights since we started dating 3 weeks back, and dreads going back there, because he constantly tries to kiss her, and she wakes up to him spooning her at night in the twin bed they share.

UH...
 

Veitsev

Member

WTF OP

Options

#1 Buy a cot
#2 Sleep on the floor
#3 Sleep on the couch
#4 Sleep in tiny twin bed with ex-boyfriend who keeps making supposedly unwanted sexual advances

Your girl chooses #4. Seems like maybe she isn't telling you the whole story here.
 
He wants her back and is an abusive fuckhead, that's all this is.

See if she can break the lease or get off of it, usually costs a bit, but worth it overall. If she can't live anywhere else and can't get out of the lease, have her invest in a bunk bed, I guess.

It won't stop him from abusing, raping, or killing her though, which it sounds like this guy is well on the path to doing.
 

Seesaw15

Member
She's been staying over at my home most nights since we started dating 3 weeks back, and dreads going back there, because he constantly tries to kiss her, and she wakes up to him spooning her at night in the twin bed they share. She only goes back because she has pets there that she misses.

Why are they still sleeping in the same bed?

Also spooning is the only way two adults can fit on a twin bed.
capsulehotel1.jpg
 

Bandini

Member
She needs to talk to the landlord immediately and try to work something out. There's no way he should still be in the same room as her, and no way he should be paying less rent.
 

Quonny

Member
She's been staying over at my home most nights since we started dating 3 weeks back, and dreads going back there, because he constantly tries to kiss her, and she wakes up to him spooning her at night in the twin bed they share.

w

wat
 
Why can't you wait until she has her shit together?

^ general advice for literally every relationship with people under 30, seriously why do you guys rush everything, you have 3/4th of your life ahead of you why are you dating someone who sleeps with another man.
 
D

Deleted member 1159

Unconfirmed Member
Dude three weeks and she's still sleeping in the same bed as her ex?

I was young once too I guess...
 

Reckheim

Member
From what it sounds like the EX doesn't actually know his is an EX and just thinks they are going through a rough patch. How confident are you that they are actually broken up?
 
Be a man and take care of him for her!

really don't. She needs to legally void the lease and get him out of there or you need to drop her
 

Kill3r7

Member
  1. Sublet if permitted.
  2. If not, find someone else to take over the lease, go to the landlord and explain the situation.

But most importantly don't make it your problem. It is fine if she asks for help but otherwise stay out of her business.
 

Veitsev

Member
He wants her back and is an abusive fuckhead, that's all this is.

See if she can break the lease or get off of it, usually costs a bit, but worth it overall. If she can't live anywhere else and can't get out of the lease, have her invest in a bunk bed, I guess.

It won't stop him from abusing, raping, or killing her though, which it sounds like this guy is well on the path to doing.

Or maybe rather than the crazy shit you posted they are still together or something close to it.
 

Matticers

Member
Yeah, like others have said, her even getting into that bed with him at night is weird. Even more so knowing that he's going to try and act like that with her. Did she break up with him right after she met you or something? It sounds like it might have happened fairly recently. And there's no couch at the house that she could have slept on? Even the living room floor is a much better option than being kissed and groped by someone you don't want it from.

But yeah, she should definitely make him pay the $500 which he won't want to do since he'll go broke and he's sleeping alone every night which isn't what he wants. He'd probably just leave on his own eventually in that scenario... if she stops going back to the twin bed which is exactly what he wants.
 
They are sleeping in the same bed.

OP, let me repeat this for you.

They are sleeping in the same bed. Touching bodies.

You are trying to date a mess and clean up her mess. Love yourself more, respect yourself more, and walk away from this. She needs to take care of business before adding more shit to her already overflowing shit sundae.
 

NandoGip

Member
Lmao I love these threads on GAF.

She needs to tell this dude to kick fucking rocks. it's that simple. Tell him to get the fuck out.
 
I met a girl who was still living with her ex as it was his house and she couldn't afford to live on her own.

They had different rooms.

They had their own lives.

He broke up with her.


I still wouldn't date her until she moved out.

Feeling for you, dude, your situation's more f'd.
 

Fliesen

Member
He refuses to leave, even though he can't truly afford to live there on his own funding, and even though his parents live right down the street, who he lived with just before moving into the apartment a couple of months back.

She's been staying over at my home most nights since we started dating 3 weeks back, and dreads going back there, because he constantly tries to kiss her, and she wakes up to him spooning her at night in the twin bed they share. She only goes back because she has pets there that she misses.
!

what is this i can't even ...

seriously, that place gotta have some sort of couch, right? ... How are they unable to solve the "who sleeps in the bed and who sleeps on a substitute piece of furniture?" question?
Living with an ex is toxic enough, sharing a bed... What. the. actual. fuck?

What if she just stops paying her share of the rent until he moves out or she's being 'evicted'? That'll force some kind of solution to the problem, i guess?

Why are so many people on GAF getting in such toxic 'relationships'?
 

Sephzilla

Member
Serious red flags here. It seems like she hasn't explored talking to her landlord to see if there's a way to break the lease. She's also still willingly sharing a twin sized bed with him (which isn't that big).
 
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