Got an F on a college essay for swearing?

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chronic_archaic said:
"Watching the film was really sad, quite morbid, fucked up, and too close to home"

"It went from "I don't care about you" to "fuck you" and I still feel that
way to this day"

"They're awful, sickening, fucked realities"

"The emotional problems my REDACTED still suffers from REDACTED, I've came to the point
where if REDACTED REDACTED died today, right now, I wouldn't give a shit"

"Apologizes that are all bullshit and
emotions that end up with the person hurting more and more"
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I'd dock you for superfluous, repetitive, unnecessarily long lists of adjectives that are similar, synonyms, or mean the same thing.

I'd also dock you for using "really" as a descriptor for how you feel. Never use it again.

Don't describe any feeling you have "to this day."

Your sentence structure is awful (or, as you would put it, "awful, sickening, [and] fucked").

Avoid phrases like "end up" and using additional (superfluous, and unnecessary) words when a more concise statement would work. Instead of "emotions that end up with the person hurting more and more," say "emotions that hurt even more," though the entire sentence seems poorly conceived.

Even without the obvious fuckup of cursing in a college essay, your writing is for fucking shit.

Oh, and don't write in first person unless specifically stated.
 
Tripon said:
I am a teacher and I would crumple the OP paper and then tell him that shit don't fly.
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I was in a planetary science class and we had to do our final project on picking an element or something and writing about its history and other fun facts. He said "have fun" with it. So, I wrote my entire academic in the form of an interview between my element and Conan O'Brien on his late show, complete with a monologue all involving jokes that involved my element. One of the jokes was, to paraphrase, "I hear iron is the second most common thing to mine on Earth. Second most! What's number one? That's right, Paris Hilton!"

I got an A, but boy do I wonder what was in his head as he read this and what was in my head when I decided to fully commit to the bit. Wish I still had it.

Hazmat said:
OP, you seem to be unaware of what tone to take in certain academic situations. Just so you can't say no one ever told you: you shouldn't greet your professor with "What up, cuntasaurus rex?"
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Actually, the only day you can do this is on the first day of class because they haven't yet handed out the syllabus that says "Don't refer to me as cuntasaurus rex."
 
chronic_archaic said:
Didn't expect any less from here. Here's a full proper essay I wrote a year ago for reference that doesn't contain personal information. If someone wants to critique me even more.

https://www.scribd.com/document/360741724/English-104-Short-Stories

I got an A- on that one for reference.
Click to expand...

I'll say for one thing, you shouldn't start an essay by asking where does one start. I wouldn't rip your paper to shreds for that one but you need a good introduction followed by a thesis.

I will say this, OP. This thread is golden. Almost as good as the friend zone thread earlier this year. I will remember this one, and I think that's a good thing.
 
OP I'm going to relate my experience with college in hopes it might be some kind of inspiration to you.

I went to a local contemporary music college and had an assignment docked from an A to a B because I put the clef only on the first system of the page instead of every system. I was told I couldn't get an "A" because it was 'not professional' to only have the clef on the first system.

Meanwhile, in the real book which is the de-facto bible for all contemporary/jazz music schools:

CHREcxn.png


So I raised a huge fuss on social media and threw so much shit at the college they eventually prevented me from graduating. I quit, went to Berklee instead, graduated and ended up working on the music of some of the most well-known games and anime today.

tl;dr don't swear in college papers you doofus.
 
chronic_archaic said:
This thread went fast... wow. Okay, so it looks like I'm in the wrong, but, this doesn't explain why I need to censor myself as a writer.
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No one cares about you "as a writer."

Maybe I'm simply unfiltered but I think that's a good thing, I figured in high school you'd avoid that, but in college you're an adult, you can freely write how you want and get your opinions across without having to worry if you tailor it to whoever is reading it, since it's your work.
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No one cares about your "opinions."

Maybe I'm getting angry about nothing however I don't understand how your choice of language is something you can be penalized for. I re-read the essay and admittedly I recognize some things that could be fixed but even with that scrutiny and barring in mind this isn't my writing course a B seems perfectly fair.
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No one cares what grade you think is "perfectly fair."

Have a read but I know I'm about to get dogged on like crazy regardless. No, I'll just post the relevant uses of swears. It's partially too personally and I'm not rewriting the damn thing.
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No one wants you to write anything "personal."

"Watching the film was really sad, quite morbid, fucked up, and too close to home"

"It went from "I don't care about you" to "fuck you" and I still feel that way to this day"

"They're awful, sickening, fucked realities"
Click to expand...

The second sentence is incoherent and the first and third are floral. Express your ideas concisely.

"The emotional problems my REDACTED still suffers from REDACTED, I've came to the point
where if REDACTED REDACTED died today, right now, I wouldn't give a shit"
Click to expand...

No one cares about your family health issues.

"Apologizes that are all bullshit and emotions that end up with the person hurting more and more"
Click to expand...

Again, this is floral.

You seem very enamored with the idea that you have something original to say. You do not. The thing that you should learn about college first is that it is not about you expressing yourself or sharing your opinions. The second you internalize that college is about you learning to mature as an adult by improving skills, learning past theory, and learning to synthesize evidence, not about you reciting your naive reaction to something, you'll be on the path to improvement.

Most colleges have undergraduate writing assistance services and I suggest you make use of your college's irrespective of whether or not you stop swearing. You do not appear to have internalized the basics of effective essay writing.
 
This is why I dropped outta school and started doing drugs. Fucking sheep trying to sensor me. Only God can judge me.
 
chronic_archaic said:
Didn't expect any less from here. Here's a full proper essay I wrote a year ago for reference that doesn't contain personal information. If someone wants to critique me even more.

https://www.scribd.com/document/360741724/English-104-Short-Stories

I got an A- on that one for reference.
Click to expand...

Dude you made a thread literally whining that you got a bad mark, for from what little you've shared is a bad essay, because you swore, and you called it being censored to boot.

Is this post here really a not so subtle insinuation that GAF is like an echo chamber or something because we grasp basic common sense?
 
The Illiterati said:
no i just tell my teachers im cormac fucking mccarthy bitch i dont need punctuation or quotes or conventional grammar
bitch
Click to expand...

lmfao

chronic_archaic said:
Didn't expect any less from here. Here's a full proper essay I wrote a year ago for reference that doesn't contain personal information. If someone wants to critique me even more.

https://www.scribd.com/document/360741724/English-104-Short-Stories

I got an A- on that one for reference.
Click to expand...

man that ain't an essay, it's a plot summary. where's the analysis, quotes, anything?
 
Kusagari said:
The night they attend the dinner both were invited to ends up being the last night these two would enjoy themselves for a very long time.

This got an A-?
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I mean I don't want to go there, but if a professor is grading papers for an undergrad course and not a TA...
 
OP, no one speaks like how they write in an academic paper. Thats why its called writing and not talking. You cant just say, “well thats how i speak and thats my true voice and deep personal feelings.” Writing isnt just a written transcription of how you would normally speak. If you just stream of concious write shit down as how you’d normally speak, of course that wouldnt fly for a college paper. It shows that youre not putting real effort into your work if you cant articulate beyond vague feelings expressed through profanity.
 
brianmcdoogle said:
I was in a planetary science class and we had to do our final project on picking an element or something and writing about its history and other fun facts. He said "have fun" with it. So, I wrote my entire academic in the form of an interview between my element and Conan O'Brien on his late show, complete with a monologue all involving jokes that involved my element. One of the jokes was, to paraphrase, "I hear iron is the second most common thing to mine on Earth. Second most! What's number one? That's right, Paris Hilton!"

I got an A, but boy do I wonder what was in his head as he read this and what was in my head when I decided to fully commit to the bit. Wish I still had it.
Click to expand...

Haha wow, I actually love this concept. Your teacher did the right thing.
 
Dude, go look at pretty much any other type of academic paper/journal. You're not gonna find words like "fuck" or "shit" written in them. I feel like this is an obvious unwritten rule when it comes to college writing. Yeah, it's not in the criteria for the paper, but does it really have to be?

This whole self censorship complaining is just lame. You can express your writing in hundreds of unique, creative, and colorful ways without having to resort to simple profanity.
 
Shamrock7r said:
LOL you used the shitty Art student excuse for bad work. "Isn't this college where I am an adult and can express myself freely? When I applied terrible proportions, color theory, and balance to this art piece it is because it is what I meant to do!"
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The only way I can make it through life at this point is to be an artist, to be expressive and enjoy the things that make live worth living. I've attempted suicide once already, I know if I try to shove myself into society in a standard way I will end up dead.

This thread is a huge downer. Gonna go play Destiny 2 and pretend real life doesn't exist, that or drug myself to sleep. Fuck me.
 
chronic_archaic said:
Didn't expect any less from here. Here's a full proper essay I wrote a year ago for reference that doesn't contain personal information. If someone wants to critique me even more.

https://www.scribd.com/document/360741724/English-104-Short-Stories

I got an A- on that one for reference.
Click to expand...
Sorry, bud, but this essay isn't great. Your sentence structure is whack and the constant rhetorical questions and conversational tone further undermine any point you were trying to make. Sentences that begin with "Well, at least..." add less than nothing to a paper.

Reevaluate your entire writing style. College is a whole different ballgame compared to the sophomoric stuff that apparently achieved an A in your previous school.
 
chronic_archaic said:
The only way I can make it through life at this point is to be an artist, to be expressive and enjoy the things that make live worth living. I've attempted suicide once already, I know if I try to shove myself into society in a standard way I will end up dead.

This thread is a huge downer. Gonna go play Destiny 2 and pretend real life doesn't exist, that or drug myself to sleep. Fuck me.
Click to expand...

0-100
 
Yeah, sounds deserving of an F to me. Do that in a professional setting and you're fired. College is preparation for professional settings.

Not to mention if I'm reading an essay and the writer goes off on some cussing tangent it creates the impression they're unhinged and I stop taking it seriously.
 
chronic_archaic said:
Didn't expect any less from here. Here's a full proper essay I wrote a year ago for reference that doesn't contain personal information. If someone wants to critique me even more.

https://www.scribd.com/document/360741724/English-104-Short-Stories

I got an A- on that one for reference.
Click to expand...

You probably don't need me to pile on, but there are a lot of fundamental problems with that essay. The writing is far too colloquial (don't start with a rhetorical question that includes a royal we), there's really no argument being advanced, you misspelled "portrayal" in the second paragraph, you end sentences with prepositions, the second-last sentence of your penultimate paragraph uses a semicolon when a colon would be far more appropriate, the very first sentence of your final paragraph has a subject/verb disagreement ("there's" is a contraction for "there is," so you're saying "there is many things to take away from this" when it should be "there are many things to take away from this"), and you shouldn't use ellipses if you're not signalling an omission from a quote.

On the bright side, you don't put extra spaces in between paragraphs, which is a personal pet peeve of mine.
 
brianmcdoogle said:
I was in a planetary science class and we had to do our final project on picking an element or something and writing about its history and other fun facts. He said "have fun" with it. So, I wrote my entire academic in the form of an interview between my element and Conan O'Brien on his late show, complete with a monologue all involving jokes that involved my element. One of the jokes was, to paraphrase, "I hear iron is the second most common thing to mine on Earth. Second most! What's number one? That's right, Paris Hilton!"

I got an A, but boy do I wonder what was in his head as he read this and what was in my head when I decided to fully commit to the bit. Wish I still had it.
Click to expand...

that actually sounds like an interesting read while OP's writing just looks like it's a fuckin' slog to get through

(E: like, not even trying to pile on, chronic_archaic, but you don't seem to be taking criticism well whether it's constructive or not)
 
Did you offer your professor romantic services as a bribe to change the grade? It may backfire but yolo(?)!
 
chronic_archaic said:
The only way I can make it through life at this point is to be an artist, to be expressive and enjoy the things that make live worth living. I've attempted suicide once already, I know if I try to shove myself into society in a standard way I will end up dead.

This thread is a huge downer. Gonna go play Destiny 2 and pretend real life doesn't exist, that or drug myself to sleep. Fuck me.
Click to expand...


Writing academic essays properly isn't "conforming to society", it's being a student. Maybe school isn't for you if you're all about "sticking it to the man" and being an expressive free spirit.
 
Sounds like it was more of a quick "how do you feel about this thing" type of assignment than a proper academic essay/project. Even in those kinds of assignments you should veer away from swears. Well, it's a learning experience.
 
I remember a student that turned in a paper where all of the sudden he would start writing in all caps. He also used hashtag phrases after commentary sentences. When I gave him a D, he complained saying that it was his writing "voice."

I told him what I tell all of my students. When you write a paper you are writing for an audience...and like most things in life knowing who your audience is and what their expectations are is roughly 90% of the battle. If you want an outlet for your unfiltered creative expression, feel free to self-publish on Amazon.
 
chronic_archaic said:
The only way I can make it through life at this point is to be an artist, to be expressive and enjoy the things that make live worth living. I've attempted suicide once already, I know if I try to shove myself into society in a standard way I will end up dead.

This thread is a huge downer. Gonna go play Destiny 2 and pretend real life doesn't exist, that or drug myself to sleep. Fuck me.
Click to expand...

Hey man, in the grand scheme of things it's one grade, and hopefully fixable for the class long term. This is one where you are going to have to learn to look back at and laugh at yourself with us a little.
 
Game-Biz said:
Haha wow, I actually love this concept. Your teacher did the right thing.
Click to expand...

The thing is the professor was an ass that gave a lecture on how global warming wasn't real or at least exaggerated (this was before Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth which really cemented the right/republican mainstream view) and he was not a humorous man. I was playing with fire, and I think he just read it and thought "well, the facts are right" and moved on with his life.
 
chronic_archaic said:
The only way I can make it through life at this point is to be an artist, to be expressive and enjoy the things that make live worth living. I've attempted suicide once already, I know if I try to shove myself into society in a standard way I will end up dead.

This thread is a huge downer. Gonna go play Destiny 2 and pretend real life doesn't exist, that or drug myself to sleep. Fuck me.
Click to expand...
Dont get too down bro. I have a grade 10 education and look at me!
 
Falk said:
OP I'm going to relate my experience with college in hopes it might be some kind of inspiration to you.

I went to a local contemporary music college and had an assignment docked from an A to a B because I put the clef only on the first system of the page instead of every system. I was told I couldn't get an "A" because it was 'not professional' to only have the clef on the first system.

Meanwhile, in the real book which is the de-facto bible for all contemporary/jazz music schools:

CHREcxn.png


So I raised a huge fuss on social media and threw so much shit at the college they eventually prevented me from graduating. I quit, went to Berklee instead, graduated and ended up working on the music of some of the most well-known games and anime today.

tl;dr don't swear in college papers you doofus.
Click to expand...
The only positive post so far, and as it turns out I'm majoring in music. This gives me just a bit of hope. Thank you so much. I'm a mess right now after everything else.
 
brianmcdoogle said:
One of the jokes was, to paraphrase, "I hear iron is the second most common thing to mine on Earth. Second most! What's number one? That's right, Paris Hilton!""
Click to expand...
See that just sounds hilarious and fun to read. Can't say the same for what OP wrote.
acheron_xl said:
High school is rated PG, but college is totally rated R, because it's for adults.
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That can't be right, 21 Jump Street and 22 Jump Street had the same rating!
 
chronic_archaic said:
The only way I can make it through life at this point is to be an artist, to be expressive and enjoy the things that make live worth living. I've attempted suicide once already, I know if I try to shove myself into society in a standard way I will end up dead.

This thread is a huge downer. Gonna go play Destiny 2 and pretend real life doesn't exist, that or drug myself to sleep. Fuck me.
Click to expand...
Dude, go to the mental health department on campus.

Nothing wrong with professional help and or medication.
 
Australian here.
Can someone explain to me what exactly American College is? In my state, it's year 11 and 12, Like the last-tier of high school before you either leave education or go onto Uni or Tafe. Are your colleges similar?
 
chronic_archaic said:
The only way I can make it through life at this point is to be an artist, to be expressive and enjoy the things that make live worth living. I've attempted suicide once already, I know if I try to shove myself into society in a standard way I will end up dead.

This thread is a huge downer. Gonna go play Destiny 2 and pretend real life doesn't exist, that or drug myself to sleep. Fuck me.
Click to expand...

If you cant absorb criticism and use it to improve your own work, then you won’t make it as an artist. Im sorry. Critiques arent just pats on the backs. They will hurt, but their purpose isnt to hurt you, it’s to help you improve. If you cant stop taking it personally then you’ll never improve.

Learn to listen to critique objectively and please seek professional help.
 
Takyon said:
Australian here.
Can someone explain to me what exactly American College is? In my state, it's year 11 and 12, Like the last-tier of high school before you either leave education of go onto Uni or Tafe. Are your colleges similar?
Click to expand...

American college = university.
 
chronic_archaic said:
The only way I can make it through life at this point is to be an artist, to be expressive and enjoy the things that make live worth living. I've attempted suicide once already, I know if I try to shove myself into society in a standard way I will end up dead.

This thread is a huge downer. Gonna go play Destiny 2 and pretend real life doesn't exist, that or drug myself to sleep. Fuck me.
Click to expand...

Or you could take some of this admittedly harsh criticism as an opportunity to improve yourself.
 
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