Support NeoGAF

[Kadayi]

Firstly you've gotta learn to build up a rapport with people otherwise they will forever remain an elusive object of desire versus something potentially tangible once you get to know them and more importantly, they get to know you, If you're stuck on the idea of how to build rapport in the first place, well there's a tonne of literature out there, but fundamentally it all boils down to getting the other party to talk using open questions and making them feel positive about the interaction. They will associate a positive feeling with you and it builds from there. Keep it light, keep it breezy and don't make the common mistake of going down the rabbit hole of bitching/gossip unless you know them really well and even then only when it's justified if you have a shit day and need to vent. If people think your a bitch/gossip all the time, the next step is to think about what you say about them.

Secondly, build rapport universally. Make a habit of engaging with people in a positive manner all the time (though not to the detriment of your work). Show genuine interest in people you work with and it will pay dividends because they will become your advocates to others 'So what do you think of Chad?' 'Chad? Chads a good guy..' offer to make people drinks, maybe bring in some cakes/biscuits on a whim for everyone. once in a blue moon (had a hankering for bear claws, figured I'd bring some in). If someone has a problem/change in their life they told you about, inquire about it the following day, next week etc. If they saw a show/film/went to a restaurant ask them whether they'd recommend it.

Thirdly be interesting. If someone asks you what you did or are going to be doing on a weekend, have a genuine answer that is more than 'Nothing much'. You don't have to be Jetskiing or anything, Could be reading a book, or cooking a meal or watching a film something, but either way it gives them an avenue to expand the conversation and build rapport of their own.

Lastly and most importantly, expect nothing in return.

 

[MaestroMike]

should've whipped it out OP u had nothing to lose uweren't ever gonna see him again

 

[10000]

OP was talking about a guy. A guy that has a crush on a girl describes her physically.

guys, its a girl

I am dumb, I tried to hide my gender in the post, but forget that I put "boys" in the thread title

to describe about her, she is a japanese with long hair and quite tall, always wear big long skirt.
what I liked about her is the smile, everytime I saw her with her coworker she always seems so happy and smiling,

thanks GAF about the encouragement and reality checking, I am an introvert person by nature, but now I plan to build up my courage to have a conversation, especially with strangers. I felt like a creep now after I realize I just fantasizing things up but thanks guys

I LOLed a lot seeing this, is that coronovirus?

dump and dash

nooo it is not, I am just awaken from my sleep

 

[Barsinister]

I LOLed a lot seeing this, is that coronovirus?

Different strain. Goes straight for the penis. Ask MiyazakiHatesKojima for details.

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

to describe about her, she is a japanese with long hair and quite tall

I liked her smile.

...doubt.

 

[10000]

...doubt.

why though

 

[MiyazakiHatesKojima]

Fuck dem bitches.

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

why though

Ok how tall was she?

 

[Potato Chip PRO]

OP, in a different dimention you had the guts to talk to her. In reality you just let her go away without ever saying a word. This would probably make you regret this in the future *talking from experience and will come back to haunt you time to time... In the end just have a little confidence in yourself and if doesn't work, get drunk like I used to.

 

[Kadayi]

thanks GAF about the encouragement and reality checking, I am an introvert person by nature, but now I plan to build up my courage to have a conversation, especially with strangers.

If it's further encouragement, realise this, I'm a natural introvert also. However, using a rapport-building approach, I've been able to overcome that for the most part. The more you converse with people every day, the easier it becomes.

 

[Hideous Snake]

10000 question:

In the OP, is there a reason you refer to your crush only as "this person" and don't say he or she?

Yeah I was wondering the same. Don't know if its a he or she

You know OP, its okay to have emotions. We're humans too after all but in your case? You haven't ever interacted with that person so those emotions shouldn't exist at all.

Also just a tip for the future if you wanna take it, keep it 100% professional at all times whenever and wherever you're working.

 

[Stiflers Mom]

Make a move.
Even if she says no, you know where you stand and can forget about her and get on with your life and don't phantasize about what could have been.

Also, get ripped...

 

[GymWolf]

Unless the emotion is anger, pure rage even!

Wolverine looks more costipated than raging on that photo...

 

[Papa]

to describe about her, she is a japanese with long hair and quite tall, always wear big long skirt.
what I liked about her is the smile, everytime I saw her with her coworker she always seems so happy and smiling,

I FUCKING KNEW IT WAS DENKO

(´・ω・｀)

 

[Airola]

Wolverine looks more costipated than raging on that photo...

Sometimes they are the same thing.

 

[AlteredForms]

OP was talking about a guy. A guy that has a crush on a girl describes her physically.

OP's a homo?

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

OP's a homo?

I thought OP was a woman at first. But apparently OP likes tall Japanese girls. So Unicorns.

 

[AlteredForms]

I thought OP was a woman at first. But apparently OP likes tall Japanese girls. So Unicorns.

Now I'm confused about the whole situation.

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

Now I'm confused about the whole situation.

Read the thread.

 

[AlteredForms]

Read the thread.

Oooooh, now I understand. I thought the thread title was suppose to be some new age romance novel bullshit.

 

[NeoIkaruGAF]

Sorry for the question OP, but... how old are you?

There's some people who prefer to live with the regret than with the rejection. I've known that feel.
People may tell you that what you're feeling is just your brain playing tricks on you, but in the end, every thing we experience is "just" chemicals and electric currents in our bodies. Doesn't mean it's not real, doesn't mean it's not important. Einstein's genius was chemicals and currents just like the pain of unrequited love/attraction.

One of the most horrible feelings in life is wondering what could have happened in contrast to what actually happened. Shame we only have one life to make those crucial decisions within.

As a kid I read a lot (no, a LOT) of choose-your-path books. It's never easy for me to accept that I can't just reverse course on real situations by flipping back to a previous choice, LOL.

 

[LordKasual]

to describe about her, she is a japa-

ohhhhhhhh boy.......

to describe about her, she is a japanese with long hair and quite tall, always wear big long skirt.
what I liked about her is the smile, everytime I saw her with her coworker she always seems so happy and smiling,

Sounds like a cutie. Ok no troll, here's what you're gonna do, bro. I'mma help you pull the Cutie Yuki McBooty.

1) Buy protein, subscribe to broscience youtube channel, hit the gym.

2) I'm assuming this long-haired, skirt wearing Asian is quite slim, yes? If you are also skinny, skip straight to 3.

If you are obese, your job is to lose enough weight for people to legitimately say "Wow" when they see before-after. Stop reading here because this is your only goal. Face/Body gains is what you're after, you can't woo hot chicks when you can't even woo yourself in the mirror.

If you are just a regular fatass like me, lose enough weight to kill the Chin(x2). Face gains are your main goal here.
If you are a decent/regular weight, and/or have achieved adequate Face Gains....

3) Bench press, curls, dips and pullups when you're able. Get some nice arm action going on, it's the easiest aesthetic muscle to make you look stronger and women love it. Also work your back and core because you don't want scoliosis.

4) After you've achieved adequate arm swellage and no longer get muscle strain carrying all the groceries to the car at once, you are now allowed to roll up your button down sleeves and/or wear tighter fitting shirts around the chest/arm area. Your lifting has caused inherent increases to your posture and subconscious confidence, as your body is stronger and your primitive mind knows you can overpower people now. You are now ready for phase 2.

5) realize her co-worker has been poundin dem guts in casually for months because he is attractive, comfortable to chat with in the office, and simply made her laugh first.

But most importantly, she's able to smash him because she isn't embarrassed at the thought of people thinking she's giving him the skirt lift after work. Girls like to kiss up, not down. Be yourself, be confident, don't be an asshole, blah blah blah blah this is all important and all.....but that last bolded point is 100% the difference between a "slow nod and smile" in the elevator and a "Hey, so you work around here right??".

TL;DR:
Put in work on yourself. Spend energy to make YOU look/feel good. Once you do, you'll naturally come to value yourself more, your confidence will increase, and you won't be so anxious at the idea of a pretty woman giving you a romantic chance because you'll know that you ALSO have something to offer her.

 

[lock2k]

 

[10000]

Firstly you've gotta learn to build up a rapport with people otherwise they will forever remain an elusive object of desire versus something potentially tangible once you get to know them and more importantly, they get to know you, If you're stuck on the idea of how to build rapport in the first place, well there's a tonne of literature out there, but fundamentally it all boils down to getting the other party to talk using open questions and making them feel positive about the interaction. They will associate a positive feeling with you and it builds from there. Keep it light, keep it breezy and don't make the common mistake of going down the rabbit hole of bitching/gossip unless you know them really well and even then only when it's justified if you have a shit day and need to vent. If people think your a bitch/gossip all the time, the next step is to think about what you say about them.

Secondly, build rapport universally. Make a habit of engaging with people in a positive manner all the time (though not to the detriment of your work). Show genuine interest in people you work with and it will pay dividends because they will become your advocates to others 'So what do you think of Chad?' 'Chad? Chads a good guy..' offer to make people drinks, maybe bring in some cakes/biscuits on a whim for everyone. once in a blue moon (had a hankering for bear claws, figured I'd bring some in). If someone has a problem/change in their life they told you about, inquire about it the following day, next week etc. If they saw a show/film/went to a restaurant ask them whether they'd recommend it.

Thirdly be interesting. If someone asks you what you did or are going to be doing on a weekend, have a genuine answer that is more than 'Nothing much'. You don't have to be Jetskiing or anything, Could be reading a book, or cooking a meal or watching a film something, but either way it gives them an avenue to expand the conversation and build rapport of their own.

Lastly and most importantly, expect nothing in return.

If it's further encouragement, realise this, I'm a natural introvert also. However, using a rapport-building approach, I've been able to overcome that for the most part. The more you converse with people every day, the easier it becomes.

hey....

thank you, I really dig this rapport-building thing, you describe those example concisely and I think I could apply it in my daily life, I take a serious note now on expanding conversation and open ended answering,

thanks a lot dude.

Ok how tall was she?

hey I like poppy

she's like 163-165cm, maybe it is short by western standard, but quite tall in my country.

ohhhhhhhh boy.......



Sounds like a cutie. Ok no troll, here's what you're gonna do, bro. I'mma help you pull the Cutie Yuki McBooty.

1) Buy protein, subscribe to broscience youtube channel, hit the gym.

2) I'm assuming this long-haired, skirt wearing Asian is quite slim, yes? If you are also skinny, skip straight to 3.

If you are obese, your job is to lose enough weight for people to legitimately say "Wow" when they see before-after. Stop reading here because this is your only goal. Face/Body gains is what you're after, you can't woo hot chicks when you can't even woo yourself in the mirror.

If you are just a regular fatass like me, lose enough weight to kill the Chin(x2). Face gains are your main goal here.
If you are a decent/regular weight, and/or have achieved adequate Face Gains....

3) Bench press, curls, dips and pullups when you're able. Get some nice arm action going on, it's the easiest aesthetic muscle to make you look stronger and women love it. Also work your back and core because you don't want scoliosis.

4) After you've achieved adequate arm swellage and no longer get muscle strain carrying all the groceries to the car at once, you are now allowed to roll up your button down sleeves and/or wear tighter fitting shirts around the chest/arm area. Your lifting has caused inherent increases to your posture and subconscious confidence, as your body is stronger and your primitive mind knows you can overpower people now. You are now ready for phase 2.

5) realize her co-worker has been poundin dem guts in casually for months because he is attractive, comfortable to chat with in the office, and simply made her laugh first.

But most importantly, she's able to smash him because she isn't embarrassed at the thought of people thinking she's giving him the skirt lift after work. Girls like to kiss up, not down. Be yourself, be confident, don't be an asshole, blah blah blah blah this is all important and all.....but that last bolded point is 100% the difference between a "slow nod and smile" in the elevator and a "Hey, so you work around here right??".

TL;DR:
Put in work on yourself. Spend energy to make YOU look/feel good. Once you do, you'll naturally come to value yourself more, your confidence will increase, and you won't be so anxious at the idea of a pretty woman giving you a romantic chance because you'll know that you ALSO have something to offer her.

yep fitness, I rarely workout these days
I will take this consideration (I never go to gym before because I was so broke), thanks bro

Sorry for the question OP, but... how old are you?

There's some people who prefer to live with the regret than with the rejection. I've known that feel.
People may tell you that what you're feeling is just your brain playing tricks on you, but in the end, every thing we experience is "just" chemicals and electric currents in our bodies. Doesn't mean it's not real, doesn't mean it's not important. Einstein's genius was chemicals and currents just like the pain of unrequited love/attraction.



As a kid I read a lot (no, a LOT) of choose-your-path books. It's never easy for me to accept that I can't just reverse course on real situations by flipping back to a previous choice, LOL.

I'm in my twenty-earlysomething

yeah I thought that would explain why I felt some kind of rush on my brain yesterday, I rarely felt like that, only if I took too much caffeine or when I thrill about things

 

[Hideous Snake]

Oh no, fuck no. Fuck this creepy sonavabitch!

 

[AlteredForms]

she's like 163-165cm, maybe it is short by western standard, but quite tall in my country.

Now I'm starting to understand.

You're a man whose attracted to this beautiful woman, but can't have her because she's out of your league.

Well shit that's the story of my life.

 

[LordKasual]

she's like 163-165cm, maybe it is short by western standard, but quite tall in my country.

Maybe i'm ignorant

but i highly doubt 5'3 is considered tall in any country

 

[MilkyJoe]

Meh, don't beat yourself up, she was probably nutcase anyway...

 

[StormCell]

OP, what you're going through is something I like to think a lot of us have grown out of, which is having crushes. I can be totally wrong on this, as I'm sure GAF will let me know, but all of my all-consuming crushes were like these fantasy type things that I mostly only experienced while I was still in school. At some point, I just started meeting crushes as soon as I felt that flutter in my heart. Since then I've had relationships that were mired in crush-like feelings, which is way better when it's happening both ways.

I think what's important is that as you gain experience at navigating relationships, and feelings like these, you become wiser and more confident in each step you make. You get tether your feelings to something more realistic, and along the way you realize that crushes grow up into much more complicated feelings where you really like someone but then there are things you recognize that you don't like as much, etc. And this is why I say that I've grown out of crushes.

 

[ROMhack]

I get you OP and I'm a fan of ignoring feelings for girls I like too much. It massively affects my behaviour which in turn makes me less desirable (apparently). Shit sucks but is true.

If I don't like the girl that much, then I'm confident, funny and positively Australian. Them's the times I get the ladies.

All of the stuff Kadayi and LordKasual is true because it shifts your focus onto making it seem like you have something to offer in return.

Meh, don't beat yourself up, she was probably nutcase anyway...

This too.

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

Oh no, fuck no. Fuck this creepy sonavabitch!

That is just a crappy Dennis beta imitation though.