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[Barsinister]

Stop looking at life as if it is a choice.

 

[Vicetrailia]

I know everyone is different, but going to gym does basically nothing to me.

Well, it does **something**, before going to gym I have "some" energy, after gym I have literally no energy left. And I am somewhat calmer and mellower afterwards (well, yeah, due to having no energy left) as a result.

I can also effortlessly lift things multiple times heavier than I started out with and used to struggle with at the beginning.
Which is nice, but - again, this ability has zero bearing on my life whatsoever.

Maybe I look ever so slightly better, not that it has any direct significant effect my quality of life either.

Discipline is also vastly overhyped in this thread (and elsewhere usually by military, gymbro types)
Discipline mainly works for executing things that require little thought or creativity - such as going to gym (with a plan or a coach) or working out, etc.

There is no silver bullet.

Going to the gym does nothing for you. I'm guessing you haven't actually thought about how it affects you, especially as you age.

 

[gunslikewhoa]

I know everyone is different, but going to gym does basically nothing to me.

Well, it does **something**, before going to gym I have "some" energy and after gym I have literally no energy left. And I am somewhat calmer and mellower afterwards (well, yeah, due to having no energy left) as a result.

I can also effortlessly lift things multiple times heavier than I started out with and used to struggle with at the beginning.
Which is nice, but - again, this ability has zero bearing on my life whatsoever.

Maybe I look ever so slightly better, not that it has any direct significant effect my quality of life either.

Discipline is also vastly overhyped in this thread (and elsewhere usually by military, gymbro types)
Discipline mainly works for executing things that require little thought or creativity - such as going to gym (with a plan or a coach) or working out, etc.

There is no silver bullet.

All you did here was denigrate discipline while providing no answer or alternative. Amazing.

 

[ROMhack]

I actually second the point that the gym doesn't magically make me feel better. I look great sure but it's low down in terms of things that make me feel good (except in the immediate aftermath).

After a while, it becomes routine and that's precisely the issue OP has outlined.

So yeah, I can see it both ways here.

 

[hariseldon]

I know everyone is different, but going to gym does basically nothing to me.

Well, it does **something**, before going to gym I have "some" energy and after gym I have literally no energy left. And I am somewhat calmer and mellower afterwards (well, yeah, due to having no energy left) as a result.

I can also effortlessly lift things multiple times heavier than I started out with and used to struggle with at the beginning.
Which is nice, but - again, this ability has zero bearing on my life whatsoever.

Maybe I look ever so slightly better, not that it has any direct significant effect on my quality of life either.

Discipline is also vastly overhyped in this thread (and elsewhere usually by military, gymbro types)
Discipline mainly works for executing things that require little thought or creativity - such as going to gym (with a plan or a coach) or working out, etc.

There is no silver bullet.

Discipline works for everything. Discipline makes me keep researching new tech to stay up-to-date. Discipline makes me keep doing more practice work to improve my code skills. And yes discipline stops me eating that cake I don't actually need. Point is it works for both cases.

 

[diffusionx]

You should talk to someone - a professional - to work through these feelings.

 

[ROMhack]

Discipline works for everything. Discipline makes me keep researching new tech to stay up-to-date. Discipline makes me keep doing more practice work to improve my code skills. And yes discipline stops me eating that cake I don't actually need. Point is it works for both cases.

I agree but it's discipline coupled with motivation, right? You need that initial desire to get to the point where discipline takes over.

I'm assuming for you it's due to your job. I do the same thing myself but remember being lost when I wasn't sure where to focus my energy.

 

[hariseldon]

I agree but it's discipline coupled with motivation, right? You need that initial desire to get to the point where discipline takes over.

I'm assuming for you it's due to your job. I do the same thing myself but remember being lost when I wasn't sure where to focus my energy.

Discipline makes you do it because you create the habit - motivation simply doesn't come into it.

 

[RealGassy]

All you did here was denigrate discipline while providing no answer or alternative. Amazing.

Because I don't have an answer. Or a silver bullet panacea "just go to the gym bro".

Discipline is all good and well for straight forward, no-brain-required tasks.
Like, oh, don't feel like it? Feeling tired, feeling like shit, don't wanna go to gym? Who gives a shit, you know what you have to do, you know which exercises and weights you have to do, and how much, so you just do them painful or not, like it or not.

Gym can be painful and hard and tiring, and yet it is so easy, so easy to execute, because it requires little to no thought.

 

[gunslikewhoa]

Because I don't have an answer. Or a silver bullet panacea "just go to the gym bro".

Discipline is all good and well for straight forward, no-brain-required tasks.
Like, oh, don't feel like it? Feeling tired, feeling like shit, don't wanna go to gym? Who gives a shit, you know what you have to do, you know which exercises and weights you have to do, and how much, so you just do them painful or not, like it or not.

Gym can be painful and hard and tiring, and yet it is so easy, so easy to execute, because it requires little to no thought.

I don't recall saying anything about the gym let alone "just go to the gym bro." I have no idea why you're droning on about exercise.

Studying doesn't require discipline? Acquiring a new skill? Staying on task at work? Managing your finances? Eating healthy? Controlling your emotions?

Discipline applies to everything in life. You'll never get anywhere without it, whether you ever walk into a gym or not.

 

[Slings and Arrows]

I know everyone is different, but going to gym does basically nothing to me.

Well, it does **something**, before going to gym I have "some" energy and after gym I have literally no energy left. And I am somewhat calmer and mellower afterwards (well, yeah, due to having no energy left) as a result.

I can also effortlessly lift things multiple times heavier than I started out with and used to struggle with at the beginning.
Which is nice, but - again, this ability has zero bearing on my life whatsoever.

Maybe I look ever so slightly better, not that it has any direct significant effect on my quality of life either.

Discipline is also vastly overhyped in this thread (and elsewhere usually by military, gymbro types)
Discipline mainly works for executing things that require little thought or creativity - such as going to gym (with a plan or a coach) or working out, etc.

There is no silver bullet.

Each to their own, but I disagree with the Discipline part.

I'm ex-military and the hardest party about joining civvy street was the lack of discipline. At first, I loved it, i'm my own boss, I can do what I want when I want, but it soon turned sour.

As someone said at the beginning of the thread, stick to time-defined strict goals. Have the discipline to do that and the rest falls in to place. Don't slip by a minute, because if you do, you cheat yourself. Then your brain becomes used to cheating itself, then you take the easy path of everything; you'll drift towards an easier job, eat convenient food because why cook? just cheat. You'll watch more porn, because who wants to try and date when you can just wank?

All of those things spiral you out of control; An easy job is easy, but without daily challenges you fall off of the rails and become more undisciplined and more lazy. Unhealthy food makes you feel and look bad, porn ruins your neuro connections in your brain because of the instant gratification.

A hundred years of psychology study, experiments and tests have shown how effective written, time-defined goals can be for success and happiness.

Start small, grow big. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

I don't really believe in therapy for depression, as I tend to think that it's not really an illness. It's just a state of mind, I feel like feeling doubts and questioning the meaning of things is just part of a natural progression.

Think of depression in it's most literal sense; If you depress a button, you let it spring up and expand. If you are depressed, you aren't being held down to anything; a routine, a rhythm or schedule. Your mind then expands in to a void, and while the freedom of that expansion seems calming, it also means that you have no direction! You're just expanding in to nothingness! If you are depressed, you can solve it by being pressed. Stress yourself, physical, mentally, spiritually. Don't keep expanding in to the directionless nothing of possibility. Because in the state of mind where everything is possible or impossible, nothing is physically achievable.

Set a goal. A stupid one. Maybe it's one press up, maybe it's a walk to the shop. Do it. Do it once a day, three times a week. Make that your only goal if you have to. You'll will soon fit in to a routine and begin building a structure from there. After that, anything is physical possible and your mind, your soul and your body, will begin to align on the same track to achieve the same greatness and unity, deserving of that trinity.

 

[TheStruggler]

What to do when it's gone? When you can't be arsed to get up in the morning anymore. When it's the weekend and you're just sitting in front of a TV screen with no desire to do anything. When everything seems like a chore and work drains you. When you feel the years slipping away but can't seem to get a grasp on them. When nothing seems worth the effort and all you feel is pessimism and bitterness.

What do you do? Has anybody fought through this perpetual darkness and found the light? And I mean true light, not that artificial shit. I just feel like I keep slipping, I wrestle with my mind and my emotions so much but I can never seem to find an even flow. It's always up and down, with the slightest things knocking me off balance. Is happiness even real or was it just an illusion?

I hera your brother sometimes days are tough, try to exercise and that may make you feel better. I have 2 things that motivate me, 1. My wife and also my daughter who is turning 6 months this week, she has taught me more in the past 6 months than i will ever be able to teach her

2. If i have a bad day/or lazy day I realise that while im sitting there feeling bad, feeling bad for myself etc someone else is putting in work trying to get somewhere and in a sense trying to accomplish more than me. Life is a hussle, its all about the work, effort and grind. Ain't no one going to put in more work than me!

 

[Vicetrailia]

2. If i have a bad day/or lazy day I realise that while im sitting there feeling bad, feeling bad for myself etc someone else is putting in work trying to get somewhere and in a sense trying to accomplish more than me. Life is a hussle, its all about the work, effort and grind. Ain't no one going to put in more work than me!

Yeah......You can be optimistic, but still be real. Deep at the core I think attitudes like this inspire complacency because they're too large and nebulous to act on. But everyone is motivated in different ways.

Countless people are outshinning you every second of everday, but you shouldn't be worried about them.

 

[RealGassy]

Each to their own, but I disagree with the Discipline part.

I'm ex-military and the hardest party about joining civvy street was the lack of discipline. At first, I loved it, i'm my own boss, I can do what I want when I want, but it soon turned sour.

As someone said at the beginning of the thread, stick to time-defined strict goals. Have the discipline to do that and the rest falls in to place. Don't slip by a minute, because if you do, you cheat yourself. Then your brain becomes used to cheating itself, then you take the easy path of everything; you'll drift towards an easier job, eat convenient food because why cook? just cheat. You'll watch more porn, because who wants to try and date when you can just wank?

All of those things spiral you out of control; An easy job is easy, but without daily challenges you fall off of the rails and become more undisciplined and more lazy. Unhealthy food makes you feel and look bad, porn ruins your neuro connections in your brain because of the instant gratification.

A hundred years of psychology study, experiments and tests have shown how effective written, time-defined goals can be for success and happiness.

Start small, grow big. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.



Think of depression in it's most literal sense; If you depress a button, you let it spring up and expand. If you are depressed, you aren't being held down to anything; a routine, a rhythm or schedule. Your mind then expands in to a void, and while the freedom of that expansion seems calming, it also means that you have no direction! You're just expanding in to nothingness! If you are depressed, you can solve it by being pressed. Stress yourself, physical, mentally, spiritually. Don't keep expanding in to the directionless nothing of possibility. Because in the state of mind where everything is possible or impossible, nothing is physically achievable.

Set a goal. A stupid one. Maybe it's one press up, maybe it's a walk to the shop. Do it. Do it once a day, three times a week. Make that your only goal if you have to. You'll will soon fit in to a routine and begin building a structure from there. After that, anything is physical possible and your mind, your soul and your body, will begin to align on the same track to achieve the same greatness and unity, deserving of that trinity.

That's a great post.

But I can't help but feel, that there's something icky about the whole thing.

If you need "discipline" to avoid eating garbage food, to exercise regularly and to avoid wanking all the time, I suspect there's something seriously innately fucked up and out of whack.
And it is NOT for the lack of discipline.

None of those things require or should require discipline. Why would you need discipline to do the most basic things right?

As soon as you eliminate sugars and shitty carbs from your diet, the crawings for garbage foods simply vanish in a week or two. And there's no need for discipline from that point on.

If you get your physical exercise from activities that occur naturally - such as hunting or playing outdoor sports with friends - it takes zero "effort" and discipline to do them regularly.

Going to gym takes discipline, because you're going into a box, with shitty "halogen - u got that" blasting while lifting heavy things for some inexplicable reason. Usually with poor air quality to boot.

It's like being a caged animal, a hamster in a wheel.

Same with wanking, if you have a hard time not to wank all the time, it's most likely a symptom that there's something seriously messed up with your life.

When things are right, there are no need for "discipline", or constantly going against the grain.
You need discipline when you're trying to drive a square peg in a round hole.

I guess that's what modern life is.

 

[Slings and Arrows]

That's a great post.

But I can't help but feel, that there's something icky about the whole thing.

If you need "discipline" to avoid eating garbage food, to exercise regularly and to avoid wanking all the time, I suspect there's something seriously innately fucked up and out of whack.
And it is NOT for the lack of discipline.

None of those things require or should require discipline. Why would you need discipline to do the most basic things right?

As soon as you eliminate sugars and shitty carbs from your diet, the crawings for garbage foods simply vanish in a week or two. And there's no need for discipline from that point on.

If you get your physical exercise from activities that occur naturally - such as hunting or playing outdoor sports with friends - it takes zero "effort" and discipline to do them regularly.

Going to gym takes discipline, because you're going into a box, with shitty "halogen - u got that" blasting while lifting heavy things for some inexplicable reason. Usually with poor air quality to boot.

It's like being a caged animal, a hamster in a wheel.

Same with wanking, if you have a hard time not to wank all the time, it's most likely a symptom that there's something seriously messed up with your life.

When things are right, there are no need for "discipline", or constantly going against the grain.
You need discipline when you're trying to drive a square peg in a round hole.

I guess that's what modern life is.

You're right, I think we have a different personal definition of Discipline.

Discipline isn't the act of forcing yourself to do something, but instead doing something that isn't the path of least resistance. Maybe 'will power' would be a better way of saying it?

Saying that, if you break it down, there is some low-lying discipline required to follow diets, routines and schedules, whatever they may be

 

[ROMhack]

S Slings and Arrows mentioning willpower reminds me of Schoppy

I don't have time to watch this while I'm at work — and I'll add the Schoppy is maybe a little too negative for my taste — but his ideas on will(power) are very interesting. Hugely inspired by Eastern philosophy.

 

[Filthy Casual]

Discipline makes you do it because you create the habit - motivation simply doesn't come into it.

So does this discipline make you happy? Or contribute greatly towards a feeling of contentment?

 

[Jaxx_377]

 

[hariseldon]

So does this discipline make you happy? Or contribute greatly towards a feeling of contentment?

No it doesn't, but the improvements in how you handle your shit as a result do.

 

[*Nightwing]

I know the feeling and been through to the other side. The key I found is to look inward and find yourself and thus your motivation for life. Distinguish what is a real desire that comes from heart and soul vs a social programming desire. And learn to love the journey.

If you are seeking a goal that doesn't come from within you but is more something you think you like becouse everyone else does, you'll quickly find the frustration and emptiness will be your reward for achieving your goal. And if you don't enjoy the journey to reach your goal you are more likely to give up as the majority of your time is spent getting to your goal instead of enjoying it. If you absolutely loathe going to the gym and exercising, what good is it to do for the benefit of the outcome if you hate the journey? What good is it being a buff miserable mal adjusted individual if what you truely love in life is perhaps a within reach goal you miss out on for following a cookie cutter approach to happiness despite the indisputable fact that we know everyone is different and has different needs and wants so cookie cutter one size fits all approaches only work for the majority's sake not the individual.

Edit: not to discount the importance of self-discipline, it is a practiced skill you need to work on daily if you want to exercise self control. I just mean look inward as it is an individualistic problem where a collective solution statistically probably will fail if individuality is ignored

 

[JimmyRustler]

Keep yourself occupied with something all the time. Having too much time to think about everything is actually horrible. It's why I do not actually like weekends that much. Week days are best. Work, hit the gym after work, come home and cook dinner, shower and cook for tomorrow. Then go to sleep. Weekends and days off are reserved for gaming and everything else. After a failed relationship I'm still struggling a bit into digging gaming for extended periods of time but I slowly getting into it again. Just takes time.

Perhaps you can find solace in knowing that most people struggle with these thoughts in one way or another. Some more, some less. Most people just don't show. Believe me. I like to listen to folks and if you just start to dig a bit, you learn surprising things about folks around you. Often from people you would assume have no worries at all. We all have our outside face we show people but there is also one below that. It's just life mate. Cry yourself to sleep if you must. Then put up the happy face and go outside. You'd be far from alone with that.

 

[Slings and Arrows]

ITT : best advice.

Best Gaf thread is best.

 

[GHG]

There are some great posts in this thread.

I'm glad positive conversations can be had on topics like this here now instead of it devolving into a cesspit of self-loathing negativity.

Lift others to lift themselves, who will in turn lift you one day.

 

[Hawking Radiation]

The point of having goals is to always improve where possible on a personal level, learn new things, try new things, go to new places, etc.

Life is to be experienced, not merely existed in.

Don't get me wrong, there are some people who are perfectly happy with "settling", but those people often also have a personality type that means they are not prone to getting mental health issues in doing so.

If you are not happy while settling then you need to do something about it and make some changes. You need to have things to look forward to.

Can i just say that i appreciate your post very much and its exactly the spot im in at the moment.

Im 37. Work in IT. I find the daily routine boring and monotonous. I feel i want to do something great, be great at something and be one of the best at whatever it is i will be doing.

Issue is i don't know what it is i want to be doing, what i will find fun or exciting. Pretty much my main hobby is to come home and play video games and i feel this is kinda drags me down because i'm stuck in this rut.

Figuring out what i want to do next that is exciting and rewarding is a constant struggle because i find myself just sitting here thinking about it. Not knowing which way to go. Like at a crossroads and you cant make up your mind which way to go.

 

[JimmyRustler]

The point of having goals is to always improve where possible on a personal level, learn new things, try new things, go to new places, etc.

Life is to be experienced, not merely existed in.

Don't get me wrong, there are some people who are perfectly happy with "settling", but those people often also have a personality type that means they are not prone to getting mental health issues in doing so.

If you are not happy while settling then you need to do something about it and make some changes. You need to have things to look forward to.

I do not think that this is the best advice. I've been reading quite a lot about psychology and how our brain works and research is quite clear about the fact that our brain likes consistancy in our daily life because doing new things is acutally putting stress on it. Having a certain plan for your day, what you are going to do and then keep doing these things helps our brain to conserve energy and hence makes you more calm. It's no wonder that usually the happiest people are the ones with the most monotenous lifes.

So why doesn't this kind of life doesn't work for everyone? Well, that is an interesting question I've been thinking of as well and I'm pretty sure that a lot of it has to do with a lot of people lacking a social circle they care about and the constant bombardment of what you should do with your life via Fakebook and media in general.

 

[GobbledeeGoo]

So as someone with chronic apathy and energy issues and has turned this around, I've found it's a two-part issue and they impact each other. I always had a terrible diet, ate crappy foods at all hours of the time. Now I eat in the morning and the afternoon (intermittent fasting) and cravings at other times in the day are pretty much non-existent. Took a while to train for this and there is a growing pains period but if you stick to it for about two weeks, you're set. Removed most of the sugars and bread from my diet which helped immensely in boosting my energy. Sleep improved just by the diet and while I don't sleep as well as a lot of people, I wake up feeling relatively refreshed and ready to go for the day.

The other issue is mental and I think it's heavily impacted by the previous thing I mentioned. Feeling physically better and balanced will have a direct impact on your outlook. Small steps like fixing your diet or sleep will have a residual effect and is the motivator to try something new you want to improve, big or small. I'm talking doing a set of pushups when you're at your computer during downtime. Go back to what you were doing, maybe do another set in a half-hour or hour. We are creatures of habit and if you create some sort of repetition, you'll find yourself doing more and more. Try and focus on the specific thing and not let other negatives in your life get you down. Breaking down things to something bite-sized makes it more manageable.

 

[Filthy Casual]

So as someone with chronic apathy and energy issues and has turned this around, I've found it's a two-part issue and they impact each other. I always had a terrible diet, ate crappy foods at all hours of the time. Now I eat in the morning and the afternoon (intermittent fasting) and cravings at other times in the day are pretty much non-existent. Took a while to train for this and there is a growing pains period but if you stick to it for about two weeks, you're set. Removed most of the sugars and bread from my diet which helped immensely in boosting my energy. Sleep improved just by the diet and while I don't sleep as well as a lot of people, I wake up feeling relatively refreshed and ready to go for the day.

The other issue is mental and I think it's heavily impacted by the previous thing I mentioned. Feeling physically better and balanced will have a direct impact on your outlook. Small steps like fixing your diet or sleep will have a residual effect and is the motivator to try something new you want to improve, big or small. I'm talking doing a set of pushups when you're at your computer during downtime. Go back to what you were doing, maybe do another set in a half-hour or hour. We are creatures of habit and if you create some sort of repetition, you'll find yourself doing more and more. Try and focus on the specific thing and not let other negatives in your life get you down. Breaking down things to something bite-sized makes it more manageable.

Eating better and getting better sleep is definitely two things I need to focus on. My stomach has felt like shit for months owing to all the crap I eat but I just don't help myself. When you become so pessimistic it's difficult to break yourself out of the cycle of eating crap because you just don't believe that getting into better habits is going to change anything.

 

[Kamina]

100 push ups? I'd struggle to hit 40

I dont think he meant 100 in one go, but more like several sets until you reach hundred.
Eventually you will be able to do more repetitions per set.
Every few months i mix up my regular training of chest press with push ups.
At first i suck at it as push ups are power-endurance training, while chest press with about 8-12 repetitions go more into mass.
After a few weeks i am getting better and better.
At my peak i started with a set of 40, and then slowly declining repetitions per set when power is decreasing.
210 repetitions at about 13 sets is my max with that method. In the end i couldn't even get 5 repetitions done anymore as i sarted shaking and collapsed.
It's all a matter of staying at it.

 

[GobbledeeGoo]

Eating better and getting better sleep is definitely two things I need to focus on. My stomach has felt like shit for months owing to all the crap I eat but I just don't help myself. When you become so pessimistic it's difficult to break yourself out of the cycle of eating crap because you just don't believe that getting into better habits is going to change anything.

I get it, I've been there. I'm still sort of there in other aspects. The reality is that that's an excuse. It's a copout we have all used to give in to our cravings in that moment. You'll end up feeling worse afterwards but you want that instant gratification. In the long run you'll actually feel better for not giving in.

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

What motivation?

 

[BigBooper]

Just do it

 

[mango drank]

I know! Become an Instagram influencer, and--

found the light? And I mean true light, not that artificial shit.

... oh.

 

[EverythingsOverrated]

Yeah, I definitely know the feeling.

I try to find stuff for me to stay inspired about, but it can be pretty tough at times. I have an office job that's very grindy and it feels like you can never get ahead of things (also doesn't help when management doesn't care about keeping you staffed properly) and there's some weeks where I just want to go full weirdo and leave my job, house and all that shit behind and live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Modern society is not very healthy at all either, so that shit doesn't help