Andahe
Neo Member
“Are there any Australians in?“ Audience cheers, “Well, welcome back!” - Jimmy Carr
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gaf, have you ever met an Australian?
- Thread starter Cunth
- Start date
“Are there any Australians in?“ Audience cheers, “Well, welcome back!” - Jimmy Carr
SurprisedPikachu
Member
They don’t exist. They’re just New Zealand people calling themselves a different name.
Sakura Doritos
Member
That might be the most magnificently punch-able face I've ever seen in my life. I am going to print that shit out and put it on the punching bag.
I met Paul hogan briefly when my mom was an extra in crocodile dundee 2 when we were visiting my aunt in New York. He said hi as he left our hotel room after he fucked my mom. She still has his underwear framed a souvenir that he left behind. When she told him she couldn't afford to keep the baby and was going to abort it if he didn't help her out he was really nice and sent a fruit basket. After she died I tried to sell his underwear memorabilia but no one wanted it so I donated it to good will.
All in all I give mr hogan a 6 out of 10 stars.
All in all I give mr hogan a 6 out of 10 stars.
Gamerguy84
Member
Yes I have family in Austraila. They own a restaurant.
MiyazakiHatesKojima
Banned
Yeah, i fucked her right in the pussy.
nush
Member
and then you woke up.
MiyazakiHatesKojima
Banned
Fret Runner
Member
I thought I saw a Australian once. Turned out to be a empty bottle of Victoria Bitter in the middle of the parks field.
TheGreatYosh
Banned
No. They don't exist.
It's not. They are all just South African actors in Arizona.
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haxan7
Banned
I’m gonna have to listen to Kylie all night now
The Lunch Legend
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
I'd like to meet Charlize Theron.
Tesseract
Banned
Kagey K
Banned
I actually had a a Canadian client, who’s sister moved to Australia and married an Australian.
A parent got sick and the kids split the land and profit after.
All the kids were fine, except the Australian cunt. She refused everything because (redacted) but it soured me a bit on people from there.
A parent got sick and the kids split the land and profit after.
All the kids were fine, except the Australian cunt. She refused everything because (redacted) but it soured me a bit on people from there.
Windle Poons
Made a crappy phPBB forum once ... once.
Yes.
haxan7
Banned
Hear that you annoying Australian fucks? Do better
Tesseract
Banned
killatopak
Member
Yes, a relative.
She’s very nice.
She’s very nice.
Papa
Banned
lol, no you didn’t
ROMhack
Member
I've told this story before but I was in a pub in Clapham, South London last year (playing board games btw).
Suddenly we see this massive group of about a thousand Aussies walk into a small, private room in the back. You could tell they were Aussie by the way they walked, smelled, and their exceptional range of Aussie rules jerseys.
About 15 minutes later we hear this humongous roar - the type which would make the fiercest lion in the jungle shriek in terror. So we're all like waddafuckisthat??, forgetting for a moment we've entered an establishment invaded by Antipodeans. Another 5 minutes goes by - we were playing some shit game that I forget the name of - and another huge roar befalls our ears. The bartender walks over to ask if we're okay and we kindly inquired what's going on.
He turns to us and with utmost sincerity says:
"Oh them, they're playing darts".
Darts.
So to answer the question, no I've never had the honour but based on this brush with death I don't really want to.
Suddenly we see this massive group of about a thousand Aussies walk into a small, private room in the back. You could tell they were Aussie by the way they walked, smelled, and their exceptional range of Aussie rules jerseys.
About 15 minutes later we hear this humongous roar - the type which would make the fiercest lion in the jungle shriek in terror. So we're all like waddafuckisthat??, forgetting for a moment we've entered an establishment invaded by Antipodeans. Another 5 minutes goes by - we were playing some shit game that I forget the name of - and another huge roar befalls our ears. The bartender walks over to ask if we're okay and we kindly inquired what's going on.
He turns to us and with utmost sincerity says:
"Oh them, they're playing darts".
Darts.
So to answer the question, no I've never had the honour but based on this brush with death I don't really want to.
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F
Foamy
Unconfirmed Member
Yeah I became friends with a guy who was here for the summer by himself. We started hanging out all the time and after a few weeks I sounded just like him. (I unintentionally pick up foreign accents)
So we went went clubbing and bar hopping every weekend and picked up women like crazy cause we were "two" exotic guys from Australia.
Best summer of my life.
So we went went clubbing and bar hopping every weekend and picked up women like crazy cause we were "two" exotic guys from Australia.
Best summer of my life.
highrider
Banned
We had an Australian exchange student stay at our house for a summer, I guess i was 12 or so. Peter Stacey. He was cool as hell, and he fit the part. Like a young Paul Hogan. He was like grown, probably 18 and he was cool to the young kids. He would always answer my questions about Australian venomous snakes 
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nush
Member
It's true, the accent is a damn pussy tractor beam outside of Australia.
ROMhack
Member
Real talk, I think Aussies and working class English people are fairly similar so while I don't deal with many, I think we're cut from the same cloth. I'm a pretty straight-talking and sarcastic guy. It gets me in a lot of trouble with the stuck-cunts of this world (usually middle management). I kinda wish I had to deal with more Australians in my daily life as the business world in England has this irritating habit of trying to smile and say everything is fine when it's often not. I don't get the need to be reticent like that all the time.
Aussies are probably better looking and fitter though.
Aussies are probably better looking and fitter though.
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ROMhack
Member
ROMhack Whats stopping you from being aussie
The spiders mainly.
Also when I was a kid our school uniform was a navy blue polo shirt. My mum's friend moved to Australia and brought me back this polo shirt embroidered with the badge of one of the Melbourne aussie rules teams (I forget which). I used to wear it nearly everyday and they eventually phoned my parents to ask why I wasn't wearing the 'official' uniform. Long and short is that, we ended up in an argument saying there were no official rules for what type of polo shirt I should wear so I just kept wearing it.
So yeah, I've always been Aussie on the inside.
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Papa
Banned
If you were truly Aussie you would’ve banged that housemate already
ROMhack
Member
Good point.
Papa
Banned
Tally ho, ol chap. Hop to and tally dat ho.
Cunth
Fingerlickin' Good!
you would have rooted your mums friend too
and 3 others
Banned
mickaus
Member
Perth does have a sort of big village, friendly thing going on in the wider community, but the drivers are quite crazy and impatient over here. I guess people vent their anger through road rage and then become more mellow.