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Star Trek: Starfleet Academy — Teaser Trailer

The Alex Kurtzman (Star Trek producer) mentality is quantity over quality. Even a Star Trek feature film starring an Academy Award winning actress ends up being this pile of shit:


All nuTrek is basically just more content for Paramount+ to endlessly advertise, but the actual viewership is very low.

Yeah, but these shows are expensive to make. If viewership was low, why wouldn't they make something else?
 
Yeah, but these shows are expensive to make. If viewership was low, why wouldn't they make something else?
That is an EXCELLENT question. I feel like Star Trek as been a "loss leader" type thing for Paramount+ for quite some time. Eventually that rooster will come home to roost because I can't imagine the viewership is covering the costs.
 
That is an EXCELLENT question. I feel like Star Trek as been a "loss leader" type thing for Paramount+ for quite some time. Eventually that rooster will come home to roost because I can't imagine the viewership is covering the costs.
But you can be a loss leader with 1 or 2 Star Treks. There's a way to put Star Trek as one of your network pillars without producing 12 different terrible, expensive shows. It doesn't make sense unless the modern audience is actually watching this crap.
 
Yeah, but these shows are expensive to make. If viewership was low, why wouldn't they make something else?

Content, content, content, its easier to make content for a known brand. Look at Predator, Terminator and Aliens, these are not setting any charts on fire but they keep making content from them.

When netflix pulled out of Discovery and Pluto TV was the only one willing to pick it up, that tells you all you need to know about viewership of new Trek.
 


sjwolvs-dies-of-cringe.gif
 
And it's not even (just) the terrible writing, the wooden acting, the malignant make-up, the baggy, ill fitting too thick uniforms, it's that god awful J.J. era lens flare cinematography and vaseline lens blur CG look to everything. It's just nauseating. Is this even on a ship? That bridge looks more like an office and running around with loose hair to the shoulders just screams "I'm not really serious!". And I forgot that the captain has a lackey to carry her reading glasses for when she has to actually, I dunno, WORK for a change.

If they let Tig Notaro just rip into folks it might be watchable, but I've little doubt she's gonna be spouting 'the woke'. Like how the fuck is a guy supposed to know the name of a new classmate when she couldn't even be bothered to PUT HER NAME ON THAT BLANK NAMESTRIP ON HER UNIFORM???? I could get it if that blank strip wasn't there, as few to no Star Trek uniforms ever have names and everyone just seems to know everyone else, but the costumer did put a little strip there. Maybe Tig had them remove it for that scene just to prove a point.

Goddamn it, that festy little blonde might just be enough for me to hate watch this thing :P But seems like they are gonna pair her up with the autistic "space buns" girl who has about the most cringe smiling face I've ever seen and that would be torture. Much less "pimple head" klingon.

Ugh, maybe the Borg attack in episode 2, assimilate the entire crew, and their robotic delivery improves :P
 
So it's a comedy like Lower Decks, right? Right?!
laugh at, not with. Wrong kind of comedy :P

Good news is it might FINALLY be the straw that breaks the camels back for Paramounts tolerance of Kurtzman's bullshitery.

Sounds like his contract might be up this year, he's not directly involved in the new movies (whatever they are), so could be a light at the end of the tunnel!


About the only known person I'd want in charge would be Ron Moore. Or the Lower Decks guys as they certainly love and know their Trek. A return to the warm fuzzies of the TNG era or keep it way in the future? I'm not really a die hard Kirk guy, but I prefer the aesthetics of TOS and especially TNG over whatever the fuck they are doing recently. Graceful ships, physical tech, not just holograms and CG everywhere.

Now could they do a "Young Picard" show and recast Jean Luc.........THAT'S the ballsy play there! Maybe Picard and Sisko were on the same ship once?!?!?
 
At least with the CW all the actors would be beautiful, scantily dressed, and absolutely NO FATTIES.

Half this cast looks like they just get teleported everywhere, no walking at ALL.

The casting rooms here are like please dress in more clothes than needed. Also helps to be ugly.
 
At least with the CW all the actors would be beautiful, scantily dressed, and absolutely NO FATTIES.

Half this cast looks like they just get teleported everywhere, no walking at ALL.
Omg you're right!
They all had a teleportation accident and up to three people merged!
It all makes sense now.
 
This is how I want my Star Trek.


See, the thing here is that the CHARACTERS have FLAWS, and at times they have to face those flaws and either overcome or succumb to them. These days it seems like the characters are flawLESS and just get spoon fed boorish oafs to "put in their place".
 
See, the thing here is that the CHARACTERS have FLAWS, and at times they have to face those flaws and either overcome or succumb to them. These days it seems like the characters are flawLESS and just get spoon fed boorish oafs to "put in their place".

I wouldn't use the word 'flawless'. More like narcissists Mary Sues.
 
I was like 50/50 split with Picard. There were times when I liked it, and times when I did not. I can't even stomach the idea of watching Discovery yet. Should I give it a watch? I look at Upper Decks, and it is just too meme-ish for my palette. Good luck on getting me to watch Strange New Worlds. StarFleet Academy looks more more Star Trek that I don't want to watch.

I may as well be done with Star Trek.
 

God, my expectations couldn't have been any lower yet this managed to surpass it by a long shot.

I'm shocked at how cheap it looks. Not just cheap but aesthetically it looks so off. I can't believe someone was at the helm of that. The audio too sounds really bad, like I feel as though I'm hearing people walk on wooden boards as they stomp around.

There's got to be a story to why they keep churning out this slop. It's clearly not cut price, they're spending money, just really badly. These shows given the audience could be churned out for almost nothing just to pad out the Paramount roster. I'm wondering if there's some major money spinning going on here. Paramount paying themselves and making tax right offs. Also, gives them the chance to tick off some major DEI to do lists, which itself might be a funding spinner.
 
This is how I want my Star Trek.



Yes, there is an exaggeration of the so-called "woke" idea, and even of its 1990s counterpart.

We are very far from that, especially when you look at all the episodes released up through Enterprise.

In fact, I remember in an episode of Discovery, the doctor (I don't even remember his name) was at one point walking around the bridge in a Gucci suit after being injured.

I thought to myself: "Where is your uniform? You're not Troi, last I checked."

And it immediately made me think of Insurrection (!), when Worf returns to the Enterprise bridge after his time on the Defiant.

The very first thing Picard says to him is: "Adjust your sash, Mr. Worf." That's Starfleet. It's the Navy in space... almost everything is copied from it.

And you don't just do whatever you want in the Navy. I could give a thousand other examples.

And the episodes prematurely labeled as "woke" (Riker and the non-binary alien) are just a drop in the ocean compared to the rest of the series.
 
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Yes, there is an exaggeration of the so-called "woke" idea, and even of its 1990s counterpart.

We are very far from that, especially when you look at all the episodes released up through Enterprise.

In fact, I remember in an episode of Discovery, the doctor (I don't even remember his name) was at one point walking around the bridge in a Gucci suit after being injured.

I thought to myself: "Where is your uniform? You're not Troi, last I checked."

And it immediately made me think of First Contact, when Worf returns to the Enterprise bridge after his time on the Defiant.

The very first thing Picard says to him is: "Adjust your sash, Mr. Worf." That's Starfleet. It's the Navy in space... almost everything is copied from it.

And you don't just do whatever you want in the Navy. I could give a thousand other examples.

And the episodes prematurely labeled as "woke" (Riker and the non-binary alien) are just a drop in the ocean compared to the rest of the series.

You're thinking of Insurrection... Not First Contact
 
The very first thing Picard says to him is: "Adjust your sash, Mr. Worf." That's Starfleet. It's the Navy in space... almost everything is copied from it.

And you don't just do whatever you want in the Navy. I could give a thousand other examples.
Star Trek was made by folks who almost all served in some capacity, had direct family members who served, etc. Gene himself flew EIGHTY NINE bombing missions in B-17's.

So, to them, the military aspects of Starfleet, even if it wasn't a wartime organization, were indelible and simply understood. That carried over to TNG, Ron Moore did at least a brief stint in navy ROTC, though I don't think any of the other major players served themselves. But the culture there was still strong and Gene was in the wings.

But now.....I doubt anyone on the production served, or even knows anyone (other than a grandparent maybe) who did, as post WW2 the % of military affiliated family's has shrunk dramatically.

So for them the military is an oppressive organization, while Starfleet is kind of like a giant NGO out there spreading goodwill. Celebrating individuality, respecting safe spaces, establishing equity for all. They glommed on to the communist aspects of a post-scarcity society.
 
I was like 50/50 split with Picard. There were times when I liked it, and times when I did not. I can't even stomach the idea of watching Discovery yet. Should I give it a watch? I look at Upper Decks, and it is just too meme-ish for my palette. Good luck on getting me to watch Strange New Worlds. StarFleet Academy looks more more Star Trek that I don't want to watch.

I may as well be done with Star Trek.

I'm not done with Star Trek, I'm just done with NEW Star Trek. I still love everything from Enterprise on down to TOS.
 
That entire film is cinematic GOLD!

If folks wanna bitch about cultural appropriation, look no further than the ninja invasion of the early 80's :P

I just love that clip in general. Enter the Ninja was released the same year that I was born. I might have to put it on my watch list. It looks like it could be some early 80's cheesy b-movie Ninja fun.

I'm not done with Star Trek, I'm just done with NEW Star Trek. I still love everything from Enterprise on down to TOS.

Just to clarify myself, I meant to say that I am done with 'Nu Trek' as it is. I'll still find time for some of the older stuff.

Honestly, I was never really there for the TOS series, as I never actually could watch it back it the day. I would say that the first Star Trek movie that I ever saw was Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. I had a grade four teacher (who was also, oddly my grade five teacher... as he switched classes) who would roll out one of the school TV/ VCR combos and play Star Trek IV for the entire class. He did this more than once.

Outside of that I would watch The Next Generation when it was on during its original run. I remember watching Deep Space Nine when it debuted and never stuck with it. Same could be said for Voyager. I watched a lot of Voyager and DS9 through re-runs. I didn't really get to watch TOS until CBS released those remastered episodes with the CG special effects shots that replaced the original models. To be honest, those special CG effect shots really aged worse than the original scenes. I did actually see Enterprise all the way through to the end.

I use to watch the OG movies on TV... mostly TBS when they had their Star Trek marathons. Never owned any of the DVD's or Blue-Rays. I did watch Generations, Insurrection and First Contact in the cinema. Saw the two JJ Abram movies in the cinema as well.

That's where things start to get shaky for me. I did watch Picard all the way through to the end. Have not watched Discovery, Lower Decks, Strange New Worlds or Sector 31.
 
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You're thinking of Insurrection... Not First Contact

I'm an idiot... and I can't even blame autocorrect. Guess I'm getting old.

Star Trek was made by folks who almost all served in some capacity, had direct family members who served, etc. Gene himself flew EIGHTY NINE bombing missions in B-17's.

So, to them, the military aspects of Starfleet, even if it wasn't a wartime organization, were indelible and simply understood. That carried over to TNG, Ron Moore did at least a brief stint in navy ROTC, though I don't think any of the other major players served themselves. But the culture there was still strong and Gene was in the wings.

But now.....I doubt anyone on the production served, or even knows anyone (other than a grandparent maybe) who did, as post WW2 the % of military affiliated family's has shrunk dramatically.

So for them the military is an oppressive organization, while Starfleet is kind of like a giant NGO out there spreading goodwill. Celebrating individuality, respecting safe spaces, establishing equity for all. They glommed on to the communist aspects of a post-scarcity society.

Yes, that's exactly it. You can't deny the openness and progressive spirit of the original work (though it has to be put back into its context), but the elements of tradition, respect for the uniform, and the values tied to military service are clearly present. With the transition to the newer writers, you quickly see that they don't have the same references.
 
Maybe I should go watch TNG. I watched it on its original run.
That first season is (still) a bit rough, but by season 2 it's all you will want to watch. Plus the RIDICULOUS number of now famous guest stars. Of course they had a lot of "then TV famous" guests as well but I don't know them nearly as well other than some guy who was on an episode of The Love Boat or whatever.
 
That first season is (still) a bit rough, but by season 2 it's all you will want to watch. Plus the RIDICULOUS number of now famous guest stars. Of course they had a lot of "then TV famous" guests as well but I don't know them nearly as well other than some guy who was on an episode of The Love Boat or whatever.

It is like watching Seinfeld and seeing person that becomes famous later as a guest character. I know season one can look really low budget, and Tasha Yar has to get booted.
 
My theory on Star Trek.

These companies have data that shows girls age 10 - 16 are some kind of absurdly lucrative market. That demo must have crazy disposable income or watch a ridiculous amount of TV. No other explanations make sense.

Off to commit seppeku now...
 
It is like watching Seinfeld and seeing person that becomes famous later as a guest character. I know season one can look really low budget, and Tasha Yar has to get booted.
You can definitely see the (lack of) budget, even though it was expensive for TV at the time. Those foam rock sets with a painted background, entire episodes set only on the bridge, etc. But the camera work, steady, graceful movements, the deliberate pace to the action, the WEIGHT of a phaser shot and the implications when it hits, a deliberation about what to do but the decision is Picards alone, all those things are so good. They set up moral quandaries and social debates in clever ways to give a bit of representation "to both sides", do a little debating about the merits of each, and then come to a conclusion that often doesn't feel spoonfed (though sometimes its way to nice and easy). Characters rely on the quality of the actors performance and a few key characteristics to resolve conflicts, they are not all "look at me! virtue signals". Coming from TOS which very much felt like the "Kirk/Spock/McCoy boys club" to a wider ensemble that still had a definite hierarchy and each person was still aspects of a whole with a shared vision. Lately it seems the crews are either totally fractious and at each others throats (personal drama all the time!) or whiney bitches who shouldn't be trusted with a garbage scow, much less a multi-trillion credit starship. You can see the lack of proper guest stars on shows like SNW where the crew can do EVERYTHING, any guest star "local alien" is there purely to create a problem, not to exercise any autonomy of their own or force the crew to make any hard choices or even explain their own culture (usually Uhura gets all those lines).
 
You can definitely see the (lack of) budget, even though it was expensive for TV at the time. Those foam rock sets with a painted background, entire episodes set only on the bridge, etc. But the camera work, steady, graceful movements, the deliberate pace to the action, the WEIGHT of a phaser shot and the implications when it hits, a deliberation about what to do but the decision is Picards alone, all those things are so good. They set up moral quandaries and social debates in clever ways to give a bit of representation "to both sides", do a little debating about the merits of each, and then come to a conclusion that often doesn't feel spoonfed (though sometimes its way to nice and easy). Characters rely on the quality of the actors performance and a few key characteristics to resolve conflicts, they are not all "look at me! virtue signals". Coming from TOS which very much felt like the "Kirk/Spock/McCoy boys club" to a wider ensemble that still had a definite hierarchy and each person was still aspects of a whole with a shared vision. Lately it seems the crews are either totally fractious and at each others throats (personal drama all the time!) or whiney bitches who shouldn't be trusted with a garbage scow, much less a multi-trillion credit starship. You can see the lack of proper guest stars on shows like SNW where the crew can do EVERYTHING, any guest star "local alien" is there purely to create a problem, not to exercise any autonomy of their own or force the crew to make any hard choices or even explain their own culture (usually Uhura gets all those lines).

I like that is season 1 Ryker is a telepath and then they just drop that all together.
 
I like that is season 1 Ryker is a telepath and then they just drop that all together.
Certainly the writers room chaos, multiple scripts worked on simultaneously, shifting release schedules for episodes, and, at times, panic reworking of otherwise abandoned scripts, led to a lot of hanging chads and dropped storylines. How many times does LaForge come with with a universe shaking solution to some problem that is then never referenced again?

But the overly serialized nature of Trek today (and shows in general) leads to lots of other problems, usually glacial pacing, over indulgent "Character studies", an unwillingness to sacrifice characters, and eventually personality yo-yo moments because rather than playing stereotypes that fit together, the characters diverge into mutually antagonistic arcs with each other.

You need that illusion of episodic life to maintain the characters into slower personality growth cycles but keep the "event of the week" pacing up. Now that we are headed back to weekly drips of shows maybe we will see a resurgence of that format on the premium streamers. For all the bemoaning of "filler episodes" those are often where the seeds of growth come from or they serve as a palate cleanser from a particularly heavy arc. We don't need to return to the era of the "flashback bottle episode" to save money but nor should we be trapped into having to sit through 8 hours for 2 hours worth of plot because the writers don't wanna come up with more to say.
 
Ozempic - the final frontier.
For sure, as this is what she looked like during filming. Is that really her? Copilot can't even match her :P

PbGZjuGxbeKBw192.jpg


And again, the costuming is BIZZARE. Lumpy fabric, wrinkles, and that weird step up cut on the bottom, WTF? I know with all these fatties and potato shaped actors on the cast they can't really do the onesies anymore but damn, at least use a good fabric!
 
My theory on Star Trek.

These companies have data that shows girls age 10 - 16 are some kind of absurdly lucrative market. That demo must have crazy disposable income or watch a ridiculous amount of TV. No other explanations make sense.

Off to commit seppeku now...
I think that they have data that the audience is almost EXCLUSIVELY 45+ year old dudes and only getting older. So they figured those guys would show up anyway and the ONLY WAY to get a new audience of fresh young folk is to go this route. It's a last act of desperation before they roll out CSI:Starfleet and accept that its an old fogey show.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck, CSI:Starfleet sounds really really good! (official old guy now)
 
I think that they have data that the audience is almost EXCLUSIVELY 45+ year old dudes and only getting older. So they figured those guys would show up anyway and the ONLY WAY to get a new audience of fresh young folk is to go this route. It's a last act of desperation before they roll out CSI:Starfleet and accept that its an old fogey show.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck, CSI:Starfleet sounds really really good! (official old guy now)

I assume that is what this is a bone to a younger audience, but I just think they made it look like something Lesbians would love.

I actually wanted to see the Riker and Dianna Sitcom that Franks and Sertis proposed to the ST people.

You do get ST crime serial some with the DS9 episodes.
 
I think that they have data that the audience is almost EXCLUSIVELY 45+ year old dudes and only getting older. So they figured those guys would show up anyway and the ONLY WAY to get a new audience of fresh young folk is to go this route. It's a last act of desperation before they roll out CSI:Starfleet and accept that its an old fogey show.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck, CSI:Starfleet sounds really really good! (official old guy now)
I refuse to believe anyone over the age of 16 would willingly watch that show. Impossible.

shatner-not.gif
 
That entire film is cinematic GOLD!

If folks wanna bitch about cultural appropriation, look no further than the ninja invasion of the early 80's :P
Made my wife watch Sho Kosugi's Pray for Death a few months ago. "You have to understand- - ninjas were EVERYWHERE!"

Now I have to watch this. I just got the 4K Ninja Trilogy from Kino.
 
At least with the CW all the actors would be beautiful, scantily dressed, and absolutely NO FATTIES.

Half this cast looks like they just get teleported everywhere, no walking at ALL.
Teleported to the all you can eat buffet at the Circus Circus.
 
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