Welp. Boyfriend of over two years.
-Last week started working out. Took it as a sign, cautiously joked about him getting ready to leave my dumb ass, and he reacted by telling me he'd never leave me and loved me, etc, etc, etc. Believed him.
-Started sending me messages every morning because I told him I was getting lonely (we're long distance, have been for a few weeks). I thought it was adorable, and our relationship was going really well. I had been having trouble... er.... getting attracted to him recently, as he'd been gaining some weight and not really taking care of himself before he went back to college (I obviously loved him enough that he was the only man I was attracted to. Just... less attracted). I figured the gym, the messages, etc, were his ways of making me feel better.
-Thursday night, he, unprovoked, tells me he loves me while we're camchatting. This isn't out of the ordinary, I just wanted to point it out. I'd been suspicious about his intentions (he'd been talking to other gay dudes on facebook more than me; I don't get jealous, but I knew something was up) despite crossing off the gym as innocuous. I tell him about my worries. He tells me everything's fine, he isn't going to leave me, etc etc.
-Friday, he goes to a party, sexts me repeatedly even while he's there, and kind of vanishes around an hour into the party, not responding to my last text. I ignore it, assume he's having fun and don't want to bother him.
Friday night he calls me and says he's lonely and feels like we've grown apart and doesn't know what to do. I tell him long distance is hard, that I've been lonely too, that I still love him, etc.
He says he still loves me.
I console him for nearly an hour, doing everything I can to cheer him up. He sounds like he's on the verge of tears. He really stresses the "feel like we've been growing apart" thing. I ask him if visiting him would help; I had the weekend off (having just failed a class) and he was only 5 hours away or so. He said no.
I ask him if he was planning to leave me. He said no.
Another half an hour, he says, and I quote
"I don't know if this is going to work out"
Cannot tell if I was just broken up with
"Sorry."
Welp. That's a "probably."
"C...can I see you over webcam?"
OKAY NOW I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA IF YOU JUST DUMPED ME
I agree to see him on webcam, and asked him why he wanted to see me if he just dumped me. He kind of smiles; he just wanted to break up with me without actually saying the fucking words, so he'd be a better person in his own eyes.
He says some faux-supportive bullshit.
I rage at him for leading me on.
He changes the relationship status on facebook within SECONDS of this chat. Probably during it, and.... deletes it.
Then friends a gay guy.
Then blocks me and unfriends me on every service possible.
I did not know I was capable of this much hatred.
p); in the end is not the best way. 
The idea is basically just that "I" or "mine" is an illusion (same with "them" or "theirs"). We don't really experience life that way when you really examine what you're experiencing on a momentary basis. It's all just experience, without the added categories of "mine", etc. For example, you can think of pain, if you think of it as "my pain", you're injecting yourself into the experience and then you tend to try to push it away. But this isn't true to the experience, in our experience there's no "you" experiencing the pain... truthfully there is only 'the experience of pain'. 