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[Doublesith]

I'm calling that a bluff. They're going to hope that we forget about it.

Yeah, I bet a year from now someone will ask Bioware about this and they'll give a bum excuse like how it wasn't economically feasible or something like that when they have no intention of actually doing anything about this.

As someone who has actually read every single other ME novel and comic (yeah, yeah, part of the problem and all that), a big THANK YOU to LumpOf Cole from saving me the time, money and aggravation from reading this atrocity.

 

[Sotha Sil]

I love how they all get to be buried on Eden Prime, as if it was the go-to funeral planet for major characters. "They weren't in the army, they didn't fight the Geth, but damn if they weren't in the Mass Effect books!"

 

[The Technomancer]

I love how they all get to be buried on Eden Prime, as if it was the go-to funeral planet for major characters. "They weren't in the army, they didn't fight the Geth, but damn if they weren't in the Mass Effect books!"

Wait really? I missed that. Amazing.

 

[KittenMaster]

I'm really convinced that the intention of the book's plot was to give Kai Leng weight as a villain / enemy for Mass Effect 3, but the execution gives the exact opposite of the intended effect.

Can't they just build up the villain in the game itself? It seems counter intuitive to require a source that doesn't reach every person that's played ME3.

Also, couldn't Kai have just used whatever he was tied with to choke whoever it was he was choking to death?

 

[Bisnic]

Can't they just build up the villain in the game itself? It seems counter intuitive to require a source that doesn't reach every person that's played ME3.

Considering that probably less than 5%(and i think im being generous here) of ME players reads the books... yeah.

 

[Ifrit]

I love everything about that toothbrush panel

 

[LumpOfCole]

Wait really? I missed that. Amazing.

Maybe the idea was that "well, it's the human colony closest to the Terminus Systems, and Omega is in the Terminus Systems, soo... why not, to Eden Prime we go."

I sincerely doubt that thought was put into the decision though.

 

[Enduin]

What was the titular Deception even? The Illusive Man's hologram at the end?

The Deception was believing this 4 part books series was going to contribute something and have a meaningful impact on the series as whole, instead it was a colossal waste of time and will have zero bearing on the game despite previously thought.

 

[Shanlei91]

People are still in disbelief of this moment, so this is the one and only direct excerpt I will post from the book. If this is a ToS no-no, I'll remove it and note not to do this sort of thing. This small bit also gives you an idea of the quality of overall writing.

I'm not even joking. Seeing that excerpt makes me want to become a professional writer.

Also, can I make that toothbrush panel my avatar? Haha I loved it.

 

[LumpOfCole]

I'm not even joking. Seeing that excerpt makes me want to become a professional writer.

Also, can I make that toothbrush panel my avatar? Haha I loved it.

Email the artist at DaxStarblaster@gmail.com
http://starblasterstudios.blogspot.com/

I think he'll be quite flattered if you ask him to make it your avatar

 

[Pociask]

The comic - so amazing. Never even played any Mass Effect, and still found it hilarious.

 

[Count of Monte Sawed-Off]

I'm not even joking. Seeing that excerpt makes me want to become a professional writer.

Also, can I make that toothbrush panel my avatar? Haha I loved it.

Yeah, I think that passage should give hope to any aspiring writers out there.

 

[Mr_Zombie]

Nick and Hendel also die!

Keyword: important

That's it? There was no build up, no explanation, nothing? Leng just randomly takes out a toothbrush that he used to sharpen somehow in the prison? It literally looks like a rough idea that he somehow forgot to expand.

Also rickshaws? fucking rickshaws on omega?!

A fucking rickshaws in the universe where people use flying cars to move around.

 

[LumpOfCole]

Pedicabs are all the rage on Omega, it seems.

 

[kai3345]

Just reread the entire thing from start to finish. Holy shit. I'm seriously tempted to go out and buy the book just to see how bad it is.

 

[Mr_Zombie]

I don't know if I said this already, but in the case I didn't: thank you for the laugh LumpOfCole. This comic is amazing.
Great job!

 

[inky]

A fucking rickshaws in the universe where people use flying cars to move around.

I don't really know if that is worse than the sharpenable plastic toothbrush tho. The ones I own today are impossible to sharpen. Depressing really that the oral hygiene industry hasn't come up with a better solution to keeping your mouth clean. I mean this is a future where you can treat fucking shotguns blasts to the face with some slime.

 

[Sober]

People are still in disbelief of this moment, so this is the one and only direct excerpt I will post from the book. If this is a ToS no-no, I'll remove it and note not to do this sort of thing. This small bit also gives you an idea of the quality of overall writing.

I like to think my writing is shitty but I can proudly say that at least my writing isn't Dietz/ME: Deception-level shitty.

 

[Infinite Justice]

I forgot about this thread since i was busy but after completing it

FUCKING BRAVO LUMPOFCOLE, FUCKING BRAVO.


now that tweet of Casey saying he read the near final manuscript, sayings its awesome and must buy the book is pretty damning.

 

[Fuu]

Just read the last 3 comics. Amazing.

 

[BeesEight]

Yeah, I think that passage should give hope to any aspiring writers out there.

It's more depressing that this sort of drivel gets published. Mostly by the graces of BioWare itself.

I am... quite stunned by the actual writing of the passage. I knew that most of the silliness of the comic was real... but in no way was I prepared for the quality of writing itself.

My hat's off to you sir for actually getting through a whole novel of that!

 

[LumpOfCole]

If the book simply had canonical flaws, I wouldn't have made a comic of it. It was the combination of bad writing and no respect for the franchise / characters that inspired me to show the world what this book really was. A lot of people like the 'humor' in my comics but I can only take credit for a couple ideas like the Doc Brown part or the Anderson Punch. The vast majority of the humor is the unintended sort supplied completely by Dietz. Deception isn't just bad but it's hilariously so.

 

[Calvinpewpewpew]

LumpOfCole: Congrats, that is an incredible comic and one that I looked forward to literally every day. You deserve the tag and I hope you do more!

And shame on you William Dietz. Shame on fucking you.

 

[LumpOfCole]

LumpOfCole: Congrats, that is an incredible comic and one that I looked forward to literally every day. You deserve the tag and I hope you do more!

And shame on you William Dietz. Shame on fucking you.

Thank you! I do love this tag, so whichever dude hooked me up with it, I give my infinite thanks.

 

[LumpOfCole]

I forgot about this thread since i was busy but after completing it

FUCKING BRAVO LUMPOFCOLE, FUCKING BRAVO.


now that tweet of Casey saying he read the near final manuscript, sayings its awesome and must buy the book is pretty damning.

I have to imagine he glanced over certain details instead of reading the whole thing. My naive side refuses to believe he read the whole thing.

 

[WanderingWind]

I have to imagine he glanced over certain details instead of reading the whole thing. My naive side refuses to believe he read the whole thing.

Now, do a Star Wars expanded uni comic!

 

[LumpOfCole]

Now, do a Star Wars expanded uni comic!

I'm not nearly as big of a fan of the Star Wars expanded universe. I wouldn't do the material justice.

 

[WanderingWind]

I'm not nearly as big of a fan of the Star Wars expanded universe. I wouldn't do the material justice.

Well, nards.

 

[Freshmaker]

I guess he wanted to really show that Kai Leng is a professional master assassin that can kill anyone with anything. Like the whole cereal thing it horribly backfired.

The twist? The toothbrush was the prize in the box of cereal.

 

[charlequin]

If the book simply had canonical flaws, I wouldn't have made a comic of it. It was the combination of bad writing and no respect for the franchise / characters that inspired me to show the world what this book really was.

That's what's really astonishing to me about the whole thing. When I first heard about this, I have to say that my reaction was "...it's a spinoff novel, who gives a shit?" These kinds of extended universe stories are rarely written well or edited effectively; the idea that there's a meandering, goofy novel with a large number of canon contradictions isn't particularly notable.

What those initial reactions really didn't make clear to me is just how disrespectful this novel is: disrespectful to the universe in its complete failure to follow even basic elements of the world-building; disrespectful to the audience in its complete lack of plotting and the unforgivably poor workmanship on display in the writing; disrespectful to Drew Karpyshyn (and anyone who, wisely or not, invested their time and energy into the previous novel trilogy) in the way that it serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever except to incompetently and pointlessly destroy everything those books set up and piss on their ashes (and in their jars.) It's honestly shameful for anyone in a creative industry to take even a cent from anyone in exchange for garbage like this.

A lot of people like the 'humor' in my comics but I can only take credit for a couple ideas like the Doc Brown part or the Anderson Punch. The vast majority of the humor is the unintended sort supplied completely by Dietz.

Don't sell yourself short. There is an artfulness in knowing how to take something awful and re-depict it so as to reveal its utter absurdity.

 

[RoboPlato]

Man, I'm honestly sad that these are done. They were some of the funniest comics I've read in a long time and I was always excited when a new one was up. You did an awesome job, LumpOfCole.

 

[The Technomancer]

If the book simply had canonical flaws, I wouldn't have made a comic of it. It was the combination of bad writing and no respect for the franchise / characters that inspired me to show the world what this book really was. A lot of people like the 'humor' in my comics but I can only take credit for a couple ideas like the Doc Brown part or the Anderson Punch. The vast majority of the humor is the unintended sort supplied completely by Dietz. Deception isn't just bad but it's hilariously so.

Yes and no. The comics aren't just funny because of the events that occur, they're funny because of the way that the events are presented, and the overall quality was much higher then standard "rage comic" fare

 

[TheSeks]

http://i.imgur.com/tRMca.jpg

Daaaaaaamn son. BRB calling Bioware to ask them to publish my Wrex/Shepard marriage fanfiction officially as canon.

 

[Irnbru]

I actually really liked gillians char in the previous books, I was hoping she would pop up in mass effect 3, so sad they did such a huge disservice to her, at last an amazing comic came from it :/

 

[LumpOfCole]

Daaaaaaamn son. BRB calling Bioware to ask them to publish my Wrex/Shepard marriage fanfiction officially as canon.

But.. Wrex/Aria

 

[vareon]

Why couldn't Kai Leng...you know...choke Gillian to death or something? Not giving her a chance to use biotic power ever? Fighting a biotic bare-handed an win would be an impressive feat. Why does it have to be toothbrush?

 

[LumpOfCole]

Why couldn't Kai Leng...you know...choke Gillian to death or something? Not giving her a chance to use biotic power ever? Fighting a biotic bare-handed an win would be an impressive feat. Why does it have to be toothbrush?

Kai Leng wanted to kill Gillian in a vengeful craze. Nothing says revenge like the Colgate Tri-Bristle 3000.

 

[Mindlog]

Gillian should have cast level 3 singularity.

 

[Rapstah]

This Dietz guy, according to his own website, is apparently part writing the Resistance game for Vita. Fuck.

 

[WorstUsernameEver]

I.. the writing was already pretty bad in the cereal excerpt, but that has to take the cake. It's more horrifying than any piece of sexually depraved fanfiction, and it's so joyless and lacking in self-awareness that by itself, I can't even imagine it eliciting a laugh.

I commend LumpOfCole for his work, I expect slogging through the entire novel to take exceptional willpower, and to be able to make something good out of it is nothing short of astounding.

 

[LumpOfCole]

This Dietz guy, according to his own website, is apparently part writing the Resistance game for Vita. Fuck.

Here's to hoping he has played through it, at least. It's clear he stopped at the Citadel playing ME1.

 

[Drakken]

Thanks for the comics, LumpOfCole; I thoroughly enjoyed reading them. Hard to believe something this shoddy got published. I guess there was no editor, or there was a really incompetent one who, like Dietz, knows nothing about the games.

 

[MYeager]

Goddamn. That was great LumpofCole. Now I sort of want to read the book just for the entertainment value.

 

[flintstryker]

I have never played a Mass Effect game and up to this point I had no intention to but those comics were so awesome I have gotten attached to Illusive Brah and Kai Cereal Killer Leng . I kinda wish I could get the entire series in this form I would pay money for it.

 

[LumpOfCole]

I have never played a Mass Effect game and up to this point I had no intention to but those comics were so awesome I have gotten attached to Illusive Brah and Kai Cereal Killer Leng . I kinda wish I could get the entire series in this form I would pay money for it.

Kai Leng from the comic looks nothing like Kai Leng from the game (based off what I've seen in trailers and such). One can hope he eats cereal in ME3 but that is doubtful.

 

[LumpOfCole]

Goddamn. That was great LumpofCole. Now I sort of want to read the book just for the entertainment value.

My favorite parts of the Karpyshyn books weren't the main narratives but the way he wrote about the features settings. It was through Karpyshyn we got to first "experience" the quarian fleet living conditions and life on Omega.

Saying that, Deception will sadly be the most wholly memorable for me because of how terrible / absurd it happens to be.

 

[scar tissue]

What an epic journey. Thanks a lot, Lump!
I'm still in disbelief that all of that was actually in the book (save for Doc Brown obviously).