Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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Aww man I miss this girl I spent a week with on vacation. I'll never meet another woman like her. If we lived close to one another I could have seen myself with her for the rest of my life.

Now it's over. I miss her... We only kissed the night before we left each other, and the next day before we went our way, but I realized then how much we had both wanted to do so earlier. I could feel time pulling us apart in those last 24 hours... it feels as if it was forbidden for us to be together...

:(
 
Ether_Snake said:
Aww man I miss this girl I spent a week with on vacation. I'll never meet another woman like her. If we lived close to one another I could have seen myself with her for the rest of my life.

Now it's over. I miss her... We only kissed the night before we left each other, and the next day before we went out, but I realized then how much we had both wanted to do so earlier. I could feel time pulling us apart in those last 24 hours... it feels as if it was forbidden for us to be together...

:(
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Dude cut it out.
 
Ether_Snake said:
Aww man I miss this girl I spent a week with on vacation. I'll never meet another woman like her. If we lived close to one another I could have seen myself with her for the rest of my life.

Now it's over. I miss her... We only kissed the night before we left each other, and the next day before we went out, but I realized then how much we had both wanted to do so earlier. I could feel time pulling us apart in those last 24 hours... it feels as if it was forbidden for us to be together...

:(
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Deep.
 
Ether_Snake said:
You don't know what me and her only know. I won't explain it but it was pretty clear to both of us. It was a perfect match.
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Ether, buddy. Slow down.

You can't say someone's a perfect match even if you've been dating them for a few months. You were with this girl for what, a few days? Dude.
 
Ether_Snake said:
You don't know what me and her only know. I won't explain it but it was pretty clear to both of us. It was a perfect match.
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I lol'd

Speaking from years of experience, and growing a bit more mature than you it seems, one knows that the idea of "I will never find another like this in my entire life" is really stupid and reeks of that fixation on a girl that leads to creepy-guy status. You should stop having this idea in your head, move on, and find another girl. If you keep looking, you'll find someone else that'll hit all the right buttons with you, just open your mind to the idea that there isn't just one person in the world for every person.
 
AvidNobody said:
We had a thing for a few months, but she moved on :(

I can't though. I see her everyday and it's killing me. We're still friends and talk often, but I can't stand it...
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You need to go out and mingle and find someone else worthy of your devotion because she obviously is not.
 
The amount of women that have said my balls were enormous in the past 4 months has me thinking that if I ever get a OKC, Match, etc that is going to be my first sentence in my profile.

Hi, my name is Mully. My balls are enormous. Have a suck.
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Seriously though. I was in a real bad mood two weeks ago. I kept thinking about how I fucked things up with my ex, how my life had really stalled, and how I felt lost and extremely exhausted from working so much.

Then, I went up to Scranton to visit my best friends for the weekend. Took a cue from a post in this thread and played the role of a favorite fictional character. I started acting like the Man with No Name from the Spaghetti Westerns the entire weekend and batted a thousand. Every girl I went up to was mine, but there was one girl that I really like. I've been talking to her the entire week since I left and I really do like this girl. She has these big green eyes that just make my knees buckle and she's exactly my type. She's a volleyball player who is really down to Earth and as an added bonus, pretty darn rich.

So bringing everything back to together, I've been reading this thread for most of the week, and I've seen a lot of guys posting how upset they feel about either a break up or how alone they are. I am completely empathetic to your situation. I've felt like that for months, if not years even when I was with a great girl.

I can't offer up much advice for you guys seeing how I haven't really resolved everything with myself yet. However if there's anything that I have learned, it's that you need to take care of yourself first. Start going to the gym. Read up on a good workout routine that will fit your goals. Start indulging in yourself a little bit more. Go out and grab what you want. Once you start to feel better about yourself, girls will just flock towards you.

False confidence like going up to a girl and trying to act all suave isn't going to get you anywhere. You're just going to feel worse in the end. Bide your time and just enjoy your friends until you feel either comfortable to talk to a girl or decide that you just want to have fun tonight.

With me, acting like Clint Eastwood probably didn't do anything for the girls. It was the fact that I was genuinely happy to be with my friends and feeling good about myself that was the kicker. Once you like yourself and exert true happiness is when everything else will come and find you. Sure, search for it if you're just starting out (you need the experience), but for you older guys, don't beat yourself up. Just forget about women for a while and do things that really make you happy and relaxed.
 
Gah, college can be frustrating at some points as a freshman. I know some girls like me, was chatting them up, but couldn't get into the party with them so I had to call it a night.
 
Well that was short lived, I was tired of my PoF account and deleted it. Fuck that site. I can name a whole laundry list of things wrong with that website's design in general. 2001 called, they want their dating site back.

Edit: I kept my OKC account because that site isn't a pile of shit.
 
my GF might be pregnant :(

I've been using a condom, but a few weeks ago I took it off and went bareback but didn't cum in her.

she's going to take the test tomorrow. Wish me luck guys.
 
Hylian7 said:
Well that was short lived, I was tired of my PoF account and deleted it. Fuck that site. I can name a whole laundry list of things wrong with that website's design in general. 2001 called, they want their dating site back.

Edit: I kept my OKC account because that site isn't a pile of shit.
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The point isn't to fixate on the design of the website. It is completely usable.
 
thestopsign said:
Gah, college can be frustrating at some points as a freshman. I know some girls like me, was chatting them up, but couldn't get into the party with them so I had to call it a night.
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Meet someone in a frat.

And hope they don't leave for the weekend, leaving you with shitty parties that friends come up with. Fuck this weekend.
 
Soru said:
Let me get your take on this please, I could really use an outside perspective.

There is this girl in work I've been eye'ing for a few weeks now, shes really pretty, funny awesome to talk to with a hint of crazy, shes my type. My friend has been finding out behind the scenes, shes really into me, she knows I like her and we always secretly smile to each other.

Shes in a relationship, has been for 7 years. She doesn't know that I know, but she also told my friend that the love is gone. (besides that she is now 21, he is now 29, do the math).

I want to believe her when she says the love is gone and is really into me. I really do. I know i'm going to pursue this. I mean, I work in a factory and I am excited to go into work tomorrow just to talk to her. I'm excited to go work into a factory. That shit is insane for me.

An advice on how I should approach this?
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A lot of happened since this post. She came up to me and started talking to me, asking me what I was doing at the weekend. I said I wasn't doing anything and just gonna stay home and sleep (I was nervous as hell). I later followed that up by asking her out for a drink. She asked why. I asked why not? A year ago I would have just been forward and said I liked you. Like I said, I was really nervous, I never used to be.

Well the weekend is now over and we went out last night.

We drank at a bar. Well i drank, she doesn't drink. She said she was fine with that though because her friends were coming out later and we'd all be going to a nightclub. Shes polish btw, so were all her friends. They all turned up they all started speaking polish, blap blo blah. I had no ides wtf was going on, so all I did was drink. I danced a little, and drank some more. My friend turned up and the drinking got even harder. However, I failed to realise that she wasn't drinking and I drank some more. So I turned all my attention to her and dragged her onto the dance floor and we had some fun. Kissed etc. Some guy tried to hit on her with me kicking about, so I got a little offended and tried to stand up in which resulted me being grabbed by 3 polish people and being told to calm down. I wasn't going to fight, at least I don't think I was.

Shes been texting me today, she doesn't seem to be put off which is a good sign. Can't believe I didn't totally fuck last night up. Either that or she likes me too much and can't see the bad in it.

I've managed to find out more about this 7-year relationship shes supposed to be in, from her mouth it's over. Like they're not actually together again. SoiDunno.

Also with all the OKc talk going on, I've had a profile for awhile, I made it to find new friends when I moved to Aberdeen 8 months ago. Never once met anyone from there though, nor do I plan to. I get a lot of nice messages though.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/greg_11
 
greenry said:
The point isn't to fixate on the design of the website. It is completely usable.
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I wasn't thrilled with the people on their either. I was having better luck with OKC.

This of course also ties back into PoF's web design. It really is annoying the way they squish the pic thumbnails. You think they look completely normal, and then you click and suddenly "Body Type: Fat/BBW"

I of course, still had some of the same issues I had on OKC, but it seemed like it was worse on PoF. 90% of the good-looking women were Christian, and you could tell they were serious about it, with profiles that had something in it like this:

God is love.
God is real.
God is everything.
Ask God for help.
 
Soru said:
A lot of happened since this post. She came up to me and started talking to me, asking me what I was doing at the weekend. I said I wasn't doing anything and just gonna stay home and sleep (I was nervous as hell). I later followed that up by asking her out for a drink. She asked why. I asked why not? A year ago I would have just been forward and said I liked you. Like I said, I was really nervous, I never used to be.

Well the weekend is now over and we went out last night.

We drank at a bar. Well i drank, she doesn't drink. She said she was fine with that though because her friends were coming out later and we'd all be going to a nightclub. Shes polish btw, so were all her friends. They all turned up they all started speaking polish, blap blo blah. I had no ides wtf was going on, so all I did was drink. I danced a little, and drank some more. My friend turned up and the drinking got even harder. However, I failed to realise that she wasn't drinking and I drank some more. So I turned all my attention to her and dragged her onto the dance floor and we had some fun. Kissed etc. Some guy tried to hit on her with me kicking about, so I got a little offended and tried to stand up in which resulted me being grabbed by 3 polish people and being told to calm down. I wasn't going to fight, at least I don't think I was.

Shes been texting me today, she doesn't seem to be put off which is a good sign. Can't believe I didn't totally fuck last night up. Either that or she likes me too much and can't see the bad in it.

I've managed to find out more about this 7-year relationship shes supposed to be in, from her mouth it's over. Like they're not actually together again. SoiDunno.

Also with all the OKc talk going on, I've had a profile for awhile, I made it to find new friends when I moved to Aberdeen 8 months ago. Never once met anyone from there though, nor do I plan to. I get a lot of nice messages though.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/greg_11
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Wait, so she was 14 and he was 22? What the fuuuuck?

Okay, the only tough thing about this is that you were drunk and she wasn't. That's magnified your feelings for her, while also making you not notice if she was actually in to you or if it was just the booze. It's good that she's still texting you, but you need to have a date where you're both sober.
 
threenote said:
my life is over.
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Sounds like bad news. Just take it in stride. It sucks it had to happen now, but just think of the possibilities. Think about what you could teach this child, and where your parenting will take him. Have some hope, a child is not the end of the world. Especially for a guy.
 
threenote said:
my GF might be pregnant :(

I've been using a condom, but a few weeks ago I took it off and went bareback but didn't cum in her.

she's going to take the test tomorrow. Wish me luck guys.
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Sorry about that.

Monogamous relationships + the pill = best thing ever

I miss it
 
-PXG- said:
Sorry about that.

Monogamous relationships + the pill = best thing ever

I miss it
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Even with the pill, I rarely slipped off the condom. It's pretty scary to think that if you miss a day it could really fuck everything up. When the ex was on the pill, we would use thinner condoms. When she wasn't regular condoms were used.
 
Mully said:
Even with the pill, I rarely slipped off the condom. It's pretty scary to think that if you miss a day it could really fuck everything up. When the ex was on the pill, we would use thinner condoms. When she wasn't regular condoms were used.
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Oh, I made sure to remind her to take it EVERY SINGLE DAY. Plus she was on other meds too, so she already knew the drill.
 
So I'm looking for some brainstorming help. I'm looking to pick up another hobby, but there are some restrictions on what I can do. I'd ideally like something that allows some flexibility schedule-wise, because my work schedule can change week to week. I'd also prefer if there weren't a huge cost of entry (buying equipment, etc.) Any ideas?
 
cdyhybrid said:
So I'm looking for some brainstorming help. I'm looking to pick up another hobby, but there are some restrictions on what I can do. I'd ideally like something that allows some flexibility schedule-wise, because my work schedule can change week to week. I'd also prefer if there weren't a huge cost of entry (buying equipment, etc.) Any ideas?
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Do you go to a gym?
 
Soru said:
A lot of happened since this post. She came up to me and started talking to me, asking me what I was doing at the weekend. I said I wasn't doing anything and just gonna stay home and sleep (I was nervous as hell). I later followed that up by asking her out for a drink. She asked why. I asked why not? A year ago I would have just been forward and said I liked you. Like I said, I was really nervous, I never used to be.

Well the weekend is now over and we went out last night.

We drank at a bar. Well i drank, she doesn't drink. She said she was fine with that though because her friends were coming out later and we'd all be going to a nightclub. Shes polish btw, so were all her friends. They all turned up they all started speaking polish, blap blo blah. I had no ides wtf was going on, so all I did was drink. I danced a little, and drank some more. My friend turned up and the drinking got even harder. However, I failed to realise that she wasn't drinking and I drank some more. So I turned all my attention to her and dragged her onto the dance floor and we had some fun. Kissed etc. Some guy tried to hit on her with me kicking about, so I got a little offended and tried to stand up in which resulted me being grabbed by 3 polish people and being told to calm down. I wasn't going to fight, at least I don't think I was.

Shes been texting me today, she doesn't seem to be put off which is a good sign. Can't believe I didn't totally fuck last night up. Either that or she likes me too much and can't see the bad in it.

I've managed to find out more about this 7-year relationship shes supposed to be in, from her mouth it's over. Like they're not actually together again. SoiDunno.

Also with all the OKc talk going on, I've had a profile for awhile, I made it to find new friends when I moved to Aberdeen 8 months ago. Never once met anyone from there though, nor do I plan to. I get a lot of nice messages though.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/greg_11
Click to expand...

How is the situation between her and her current boyfriend? Do they live together? You probally dont want to hear this but i would lay low, really low till they're officially broken up etc.

I was in a kinda similair situation like you last year. Met this girl i was really attracted to, she had a boyfriend but told me that to her he is just a friend, and the love was over, and she was planning on breaking up with him soon. I believed her, started an affaire with her, lasted for a month or 3. She is still together with him now, still saying shes going to break up with him, just never seems to happen.
 
cdyhybrid said:
Yes I do. Just lifting to try and put some muscle on.
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I'd say if you haven't already, pick up a routine and start working out regularly. It's also not a bad idea to pick up a sport. Both choices are extremely beneficial. I was never great at basketball (always a soccer player), but I just started to really get into it. It can be ten times as fun as playing a video game or other hobbies.
 
Mully said:
I'd say if you haven't already, pick up a routine and start working out regularly. It's also not a bad idea to pick up a sport. Both choices are extremely beneficial. I was never great at basketball (always a soccer player), but I just started to really get into it. It can be ten times as fun as playing a video game or other hobbies.
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Gotta agree with this person. I personally find going to a gym to lift weight and cardio extremely boring. Since, I've picked up boxing as a hobby, I feel motivated to work out. Funner, tends to actually be a better workout, and I get to hang out with other people because of this hobby.
 
Mully said:
I'd say if you haven't already, pick up a routine and start working out regularly. It's also not a bad idea to pick up a sport. Both choices are extremely beneficial. I was never great at basketball (always a soccer player), but I just started to really get into it. It can be ten times as fun as playing a video game or other hobbies.
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Oh yeah, I've got a routine. Wendler 5/3/1, going 4 times per week. I'm usually in and out quickly when I hit the gym there, though. I do enjoy just lifting but it's not necessarily the best conversation topic with the ladies, haha. I've considered boxing. I'd have to look outside of my gym though, for a variety of reasons. That's something to look into for sure, though.
 
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