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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|

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hateradio said:
You gay guys and your stereotypes.
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I dont get this comment.

Your gay no. Do you live under a rock. Are you not exposed to any gay media? Have you been to a gay club? Have you not ever used any of gay dating sites?

Honest question.

You are a much stronger man than I....I salute you.

edit: I shoudl've expected this anyways. This thread can be a harsh mistress when your on the other end.
 
As everyone has chimed in an said, SpaceBridge, we've all been through it, over it, and around it. There's nothing worse than getting your romantic hopes dashed in that way. That's why I've had a cute song about this situation, Stupid Boys, in my book from the moment I heard it (as wonderfully interpreted by the "very short and beautiful" and scrumdiddilyumtious Andrew Keenan-Bolger). We may not be able to change what happened or how we feel, but at least we can laugh a little about it.
 
Well Spacebridge I think you're plenty attractive, but you should only try to work on your image for you(trust me i learned the hard way). Your post kind of reminds me how stupid I can be at times, a little more perspective.
 
Guys are dicks. My original statement stands.

edit: Im hitting the weights for a couple of reasons, one being cosmetic, the other health. Im 33 turning 34, the years are starting to pile on. Youre body aint 24 forever I realized.
 
Lately I've just got this feeling that there's more than just sex. I don't know why I've so suddenly become so anxious about finding my love right away. I've done one-night stands too and I thought I was okay and thought I'd continue going that route, but now I just want to cuddle with someone.
 
SpaceBridge said:
Guys are dicks. My original statement stands.

edit: Im hitting the weights for a couple of reasons, one being cosmetic, the other health. Im 33 turning 34, the years are starting to pile on.
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I honestly thought you were closer to my age.

Well as long as it's for you.
 
trimon said:
Lately I've just got this feeling that there's more than just sex. I don't know why I've so suddenly become so anxious about finding my love right away. I've done one-night stands too and I thought I was okay and thought I'd continue going that route, but now I just want to cuddle with someone.
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Its an epiphany.

Imagine how sex is like with someone you actually genuinely love and care about. Its mindblowing. You dont just fuck, but your souls touch. Im not shitting you here. Hope some of you guys get the opportunity to experience that. It may not always last...i mean not all relationships do....but cold, sterile banging is a mere shallow experience when compared to what you can experience when you love the other person. And imagine not having to sneak out next morning or have that awkward moment next day when you part ways but instead you just cuddle and make out and hide under the covers.

Anyone who argues otherwise is one bitter jaded bitch with no heart.
 
SpaceBridge said:
I dont get this comment.

Your gay no. Do you live under a rock. Are you not exposed to any gay media? Have you been to a gay club? Have you not ever used any of gay dating sites?

Honest question.

You are a much stronger man than I....I salute you.

edit: I shoudl've expected this anyways. This thread can be a harsh mistress when your on the other end.
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It means you're buying into a stereotype. And you're the gay guy who doesn't fall into the stereotype and is all angsty because of it.

To answer your question: I do live under a rock so to speak; I don't know what gay media would mean; (I actually don't pay attention to most media.); I have not gone to any clubs; I have only tried a few way back when.

I'm not into muscly pretty boys. Oh well. Sue me.
 
hateradio said:
It means you're buying into a stereotype. And you're the gay guy who doesn't fall into the stereotype and is all angsty because of it.

To answer your question: I do live under a rock so to speak; I don't know what gay media would mean; (I actually don't pay attention to most media.); I have not gone to any clubs; I have only tried a few way back when.

I'm not into muscly pretty boys. Oh well. Sue me.
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If you followed my posts you would know that I don't either. Doesn't mean they don't exist.

Other than that I'd hardly call myself angsty, and I'd dare you to find another gaygaffer who would. But I'll leave the angst perspective for the gaffer with "hate" as his username.
 
Veigar said:
I'm a relatively hairless twink myself and ive put up an ad on CL every day for the past 3 days and ive only gotten one other twink, who then flaked out on me :/
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I read that as 3 years at first. haha.
-----
Anyone ever get the "you look too young!" thing? I do...all the time.
ugh
 
SpaceBridge said:
Its an epiphany.

Imagine how sex is like with someone you actually genuinely love and care about. Its mindblowing. You dont just fuck, but your souls touch. Im not shitting you here. Hope some of you guys get the opportunity to experience that. It may not always last...i mean not all relationships do....but cold, sterile banging is a mere shallow experience when compared to what you can experience when you love the other person. And imagine not having to sneak out next morning or have that awkward moment next day when you part ways but instead you just cuddle and make out and hide under the covers.

Anyone who argues otherwise is one bitter jaded bitch with no heart.
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I for one don't understand why people have sex without any meaning behind it. Sure, the guy is hot and you both get off, but what are you getting out of it besides that momentary relief?

edit: I've had a bottle of wine to myself, so excuse my grammar.
 
SpaceBridge said:
If you followed my posts you would know that I don't either. Doesn't mean they don't exist.

Other than that I'd hardly call myself angsty, and I'd dare you to find another gaygaffer who would. But I'll leave the angst perspective for the gaffer with "hate" as his username.
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Regardless if they exist, it doesn't mean you have to think so negatively in regards to the so called gay stereotype.

The name's a facet of my distaste for the media. I do my own thing. 8)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go live under my rock.
 
SpiffyG said:
I for one don't understand why people have sex without any meaning behind it. Sure, the guy is hot and you both get off, but what are you getting out of it besides that momentary relief?

edit: I've had a bottle of wine to myself, so excuse my grammar.
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Sometimes all you need is a few moments.
 
I finally have purpose to repost this! (From the SP thread.)

images-i167607b898t2.gif
 
hateradio said:
I finally have purpose to repost this! (From the SP thread.)
images-i167607b898t2.gif
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brb. I have... something to do...
Nlroh said:
Last week I was asked four times if I was 17. I can't understand how four different persons could be so specific about the 17.
I'm 23.
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Are you clean shaven? That may be why. People only ever guess my real age when I have facial hair growing in. If not, I'll get mistaken for a teenager, easily.
 
You guys should cheer up! Who gives two shits if a guy doesn't find you attractive, his damn loss! It's not like you can alter how your face is (unless surgery, ew) so whomever loves you will love you no matter how you look. I know it's easy to say that now, but you just need to build up confidence. I'm saying this to SpaceBridge but also to Gaygaffers who are sad or down.

The person you want to love will come, and when that happens, he/she will love you regardless! Just keep thinking positive, put a smile on that cute face and have an overall positive attitude. There's no secret in finding love, it just happens! Just enjoy yourselves in the meantime and it will eventually happen.

I've learned to cherish my "too young" face. It's annoying, because I wish I was bear-hairy and older-looking guy but I've come to enjoy the compliments I get. Just a matter of playing the cards you're given, I guess!
 
hateradio said:
Alrighty then.

carryon.gif
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Honestly to me your coming off as dismissive here and confrontational, which I don't know why as I don't think I've ever said anything in a similar fashion to you. But this is Gaf, shoulda expected this from soneone eventually.

Edit: it's late, I've got work in 5 hours. Thanks for the venting guys.
 
SpiffyG said:
Are you clean shaven? That may be why. People only ever guess my real age when I have facial hair growing in. If not, I'll get mistaken for a teenager, easily.
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Most of the time I'm clean shaven. To be honest I can't blame them, I know I look a lot younger than my age. Being short and skinny doesn't help at all.
 
DR2K said:
Sometimes all you need is a few moments.
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Not when you get the other person off and you can't get off
I wish I was a minute man
Nlroh said:
Last week I was asked four times if I was 17. I can't understand how four different persons could be so specific about the 17.
I'm 23.
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I get that all the time..and I'm 24...then after I tell my age they just say
Black don't crack lulz
 
Me .. sometimes too. And I'll be 30 soon. :)

Don't mind, but I've noticed that it's sometimes seen as negative. Some might see it as "You look too young woah!!! what's your recipe!!?!?"...but, others see it as "immature, not experienced enough, etc." and put you aside because of that.
 
SpaceBridge said:
Woah really. I need to see.

And I know Im no hag or anything but I also dont fit the gay ideal either (six pack, tribal tattoos and hairless). Im also old too.
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Tribal tattoos? What is this, 2000?

SpaceBridge said:
I'm not accusing anything of anything, but if you haven't experienced first hand the impact that stereotypes play in large gay communities it's hard not to be overly self aware.
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Ok I live in NYC, I go out to clubs/bars relatively regularly and let me tell you that in large gay communities there is a "scene" for everyone. Different places attract different kinds of people. In some bars I can't find a single cute guy, in others they're everywhere.
I think you need to avoid the type of people sending you an ass pic in the first 10 mins if they're not your thing. Uninstall grindr if you're looking for LTR and start looking in places where you're most likely to find what you want.
 
Dude, you've got to stop apologizing for things that don't need any apology!

[edit] Discussion over us homos not needing to conform to physical stereotypes always gets me conflicted. Obviously, the idea is great in theory, but at the end of the day it doesn't change the fact that I've never been happy looking the way I do even though someone else may not care, and I'm left struggling and frustrated trying to be (or become) something I'm just not. Personal acceptance is a rough thing.
 
SpaceBridge said:
Im trying to get back into the game. Started working out again to help improve my body and confidence. Ive been chatting with guys online I probably shouldnt be having any business chatting with. Most of them arent even local....but I got all caught up in the fantasy that maybe we cane make something happen. Or maybe even just for the attention which I dont seem to get much any more in my older years.

Im a romantic at heart, always have been, and I wear my heart on my sleeve, take it or leave it. I cant do orgies, I cant do fuckbuddies, I cant do anonymous sex, cant do open relationships. And Im envious of those of you who can. Ive tried to but my heart gets in the way it becomes too painful to bang a guy who really doesnt want anything else to do with you.

Anyhoo, one guy Im chatting with, we`ve been chatting for acouple of weeks, and I get all romantic in my texts, makes him all quiet. Keep in mind he`s sent me an ass pic not 10 mins earlier, so Im thinking he might at least find me attractive. So after a really long 30 seconds he responds that we`re just friends and that Im not really all that attractive, which feels like someone kicked me right in the balls. I then go into damage control saying shit like I was kidding...blah blah blah. But damn that hurt. It hurt, cuz even though I front alot, I have some pretty deep self image issues, as most gay men seem to have. And then things start to make sense cuz while Ive been showering him with compliments I realize that not once has he reciprocated other than to tell me I have a `masculine`face. So I decide to sign off making up some excuse but before I go he tells me to send him a dick pic cuz he`s really curious, at which point I feel all gross inside and am reminded why I hate all this meeting online and grindr apps and shit. Anyways Im gonna regret feeling this way tomorrow and writing this out cuz it sounds so dumb as I type it. And my apologies for the rambling.

I just wanna be in love again, you know. Theres nothing like that feeling. The excitement in your stomach, the anitcipation. Counting down the seconds until you get to hold him in your arms. That feeling. Nothing like it.

edit: Im an LTR guy. Was in one for almost a decade....just for reference.

double edit: I do this alot. I construct these `fantasies` with the wrong guys cuz it sets me up for disappointment. *barf* re-reading the above really makes it sound so self indulgent of me. So whiny. lol.

triple edit: i know what Im doing is insane. Seeking legitimization from someone else. But we all do it. Whether your cruising online sites, going to a bar, crusing the gym. Who doesnt want to be wanted, desired, or loved. I know I do.
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So sorry. :( Your post hits so close to home with me, I'm the same way. I've been taken advantage of before because of it too...hurts so bad in the end.

The thing that you have to keep in mind about self-image, is that everyone has different types. There are going to be people who think even the most established models out there are ugly, simply because they're not into that type of body or facial structure. And there will be people who find the average joe working at McDonald's absolutely sexy, simply because that's what they're into.

It's really whatever floats your boat. Doesn't excuse what the guy said to you however, but be glad he reared his ugly head and showed his ass...because it saves you a lot of trouble having to find that out later if things did go past the initial talking phase.
 
SpaceBridge said:
Its an epiphany.

Imagine how sex is like with someone you actually genuinely love and care about. Its mindblowing. You dont just fuck, but your souls touch. Im not shitting you here. Hope some of you guys get the opportunity to experience that. It may not always last...i mean not all relationships do....but cold, sterile banging is a mere shallow experience when compared to what you can experience when you love the other person. And imagine not having to sneak out next morning or have that awkward moment next day when you part ways but instead you just cuddle and make out and hide under the covers.

Anyone who argues otherwise is one bitter jaded bitch with no heart.
Click to expand...

Even though it was the first time I had sex with him, I understand what you are talking about. We cuddled and made out and just stayed in bed together all night...

I really want that again, hooking up is just not for me.
 
SpaceBridge said:
My apologies for high jacking the thread last night with my little melt down.

I feel thoroughly embarrassed at the moment. I'm sorry to you all.
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No reason to apologize. This was probably the most on topic conversation we've had for the last couple of days.

I'm not really into the gay scene, so I don't know how bad it can be. But the few gay individuals I know don't conform to the stereotype (at least, not the physical stereotype you gave - they certainly conform to others) but still seem quite happy within their communities.

The guy you described is just a complete tool. He sounds really immature and someone that probably doesn't do well in relationships anyway. To me, it sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one. Unfortunately, the one disadvantage with putting yourself out there is you're going to get burned from time to time. That's the nature of the love game. The important thing is that we just don't give the jerks the time of day since they don't deserve it.

And yeah, guys are dicks and girls are bit--brats.
 
BeesEight said:
No reason to apologize. This was probably the most on topic conversation we've had for the last couple of days.

I'm not really into the gay scene, so I don't know how bad it can be. But the few gay individuals I know don't conform to the stereotype (at least, not the physical stereotype you gave - they certainly conform to others) but still seem quite happy within their communities.

The guy you described is just a complete tool. He sounds really immature and someone that probably doesn't do well in relationships anyway. To me, it sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one. Unfortunately, the one disadvantage with putting yourself out there is you're going to get burned from time to time. That's the nature of the love game. The important thing is that we just don't give the jerks the time of day since they don't deserve it.

And yeah, guys are dicks and girls are bit--brats.
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Dude messaged me tonight asking about my dick pic. I told him I was busy at work. He said "ok" and that was it. Another experience to learn from.
 
RatskyWatsky said:
Why? Also, is that you in that pic? :O
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Yah. And I bought it because I sort of have a thing for collegiate wrestler dudes and those singlets. Of course, for me it's like buying sexy underwear: nobody ever sees me in them (well, in person...) but at least wearing them makes me feel good.
 
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