The realities of being a black male in America.

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I'm waiting for white folk to provide me with a list of acceptable clothing. Clothing that combined with my skin tone will not make U feel uneasy. When that clothing is invented, use our reparation money to provide it for all of us.

Thanks.

Heres what I don't get. It's clear that certain styles of dress are associated with and linked to certain things. So when a certain style of dress – fairly or unfairly – is frequently associated with crime/violence/drugs/etc, why would you WANT to dress like that?

I'm white, but I don't dress like the fucking meth-heads down found in damn near any trailer park because I don't want people look at me and think I'm cooking up crystal meth in a trailer. I consciously avoid wearing shirts with the Tazmanian Devil adorned in 80's hip hop clothing, I don't walk around in shit-stained work boots, I make it a point not to smell like cat piss, I don't shave the sides of my head while leaving slightly more hair on top, I don't put 'bad ass' decals of of Tweety Bird and Tinker Belle on my car, etc. I actively avoid those things, as they're associated with a negative stereotype.

And sure, anyone saying things like simply wearing a hoodie makes you look like a thug is obviously a fucking moron. One article of clothing does not a style make and all that.

But when you have a large swath of people saying, "I find dress and attitude more intimidating than anything", why would you write that off so casually? There's obviously something to that line of thinking and seems it would be far more productive to have an honest discussion about that, rather than metaphorically saying, "Well YOU tell ME what I'm allowed to wear, dad!" If the simple act discarding a style of dress is all it takes to remove one of the biggest or last racist or prejudiced stereotypes in a lot of people... why not do it?
 
But when you have a large swath of people saying, "I find dress and attitude more intimidating than anything", why would you write that off so casually? There's obviously something to that line of thinking and seems it would be far more productive to have an honest discussion about that, rather than metaphorically saying, "Well YOU tell ME what I'm allowed to wear, dad!" If the simple act discarding a style of dress is all it takes to remove one of the biggest or last racist or prejudiced stereotypes in a lot of people... why not do it?

Because it doesn't solve anything. If black people stopped wearing that, then whatever black people started wearing next would become the "one last racist/prejudiced stereotype", and why don't you just stop wearing that thing because it makes people uncomfortable, etc.

This is not new. Just change what you like to wear and wear what we wear and we'll like you. That same argument is made generation after generation. You can even go back to the Zoot Suit controversy of the 1940's.
 
Heres what I don't get. It's clear that certain styles of dress are associated with and linked to certain things. So when a certain style of dress – fairly or unfairly – is frequently associated with crime/violence/drugs/etc, why would you WANT to dress like that?

I'm white, but I don't dress like the fucking meth-heads down found in damn near any trailer park because I don't want people look at me and think I'm cooking up crystal meth in a trailer. I consciously avoid wearing shirts with the Tazmanian Devil adorned in 80's hip hop clothing, I don't walk around in shit-stained work boots, I make it a point not to smell like cat piss, I don't shave the sides of my head while leaving slightly more hair on top, I don't put 'bad ass' decals of of Tweety Bird and Tinker Belle on my car, etc. I actively avoid those things, as they're associated with a negative stereotype.

And sure, anyone saying things like simply wearing a hoodie makes you look like a thug is obviously a fucking moron. One article of clothing does not a style make and all that.

But when you have a large swath of people saying, "I find dress and attitude more intimidating than anything", why would you write that off so casually? There's obviously something to that line of thinking and seems it would be far more productive to have an honest discussion about that, rather than metaphorically saying, "Well YOU tell ME what I'm allowed to wear, dad!" If the simple act discarding a style of dress is all it takes to remove one of the biggest or last racist or prejudiced stereotypes in a lot of people... why not do it?

See, i'm awful confused. I've seen many different people snort cocaine. Some use a bullet. Some use a straw. Others, they find things that are handy...a dollar perhaps. They all dressed different so, how do I define "dressed like a coke head?"

I'm not kidding, I'd really like to know. I've had to apologize for my attire more than once in my life, and the question is always "why?" If I wear my hat backwards or to the side, why am I some sort of monster?

My "brother" Colin (white awesomeness) loves wearing Under Armor, almost nothing else. Do you know how absurd it would be if a group associated that company with some hateful/false nonsense and we ask "but if you know it effects people, why not CHANGE?"

I'd imagine the first interracial couple wouldn't have lasted. I'd assume that my closest friend to me, my wife and my children (Colin) would just be some fantasy. I'll ask again, why? I drink water, not soda...cause I LIKE water. Prefer Street Fighter over Tekken. OH NOES!!! I prefer Schlitz Malt Liquor over Yuengling...bananas, I know (and with a CUP OF ICE, no less).

No joke, I prefer walking or riding bike over driving. Its my choice. Not yours...mine. Just because society has been wired incorrectly doesn't mean I have to change how I dress...I mean WTF? Sometimes I dress like shit, sometimes I go all out. Depends how I feel, i'm not playing dress up to please ANYONE, that isn't me or my lady.

I don't know you, I don't want to judge you. Can you though, seriously, not see how CRAZY that is to ask of us? Free beings? Just like you?"
 
Because it doesn't solve anything. If black people stopped wearing that, then whatever black people started wearing next would become the "one last racist/prejudiced stereotype", and why don't you just stop wearing that thing because it makes people uncomfortable, etc.

This is not new. Just change what you like to wear and wear what we wear and we'll like you. That same argument is made generation after generation. You can even go back to the Zoot Suit controversy of the 1940's.
So you think that if black people started wearing suits around, white people would become afraid of white people in suits?

No joke, I prefer walking or riding bike over driving. Its my choice. Not yours...mine. Just because society has been wired incorrectly doesn't mean I have to change how I dress...I mean WTF? Sometimes I dress like shit, sometimes I go all out. Depends how I feel, i'm not playing dress up to please ANYONE, that isn't me or my lady.

I don't know you, I don't want to judge you. Can you though, seriously, not see how CRAZY that is to ask of us? Free beings? Just like you?
It doesn't mean you have to, but it means you would be wise to. I'm a white guy who shaves his head. I also love to wear tank tops, affectionately known as "wife beaters". I used to wear them everywhere, and a lot of people were scared of me or assumed things about me. I'm wiser about it now and don't wear those things, though I still shave my head. I still scare people, but mostly because of my mannerisms, and I accept that. I certainly don't blame "society". I do what I do knowingly, and that means accepting the consequences.

Proper attire is not a "black thing", it's something everyone deals with. I have go to out of my way to not look like some kind of Neo-Nazi thanks to some idiots that messed up my preferred dress style. But I deal with it.
 
Heres what I don't get. It's clear that certain styles of dress are associated with and linked to certain things. So when a certain style of dress – fairly or unfairly – is frequently associated with crime/violence/drugs/etc, why would you WANT to dress like that?

I'm white, but I don't dress like the fucking meth-heads down found in damn near any trailer park because I don't want people look at me and think I'm cooking up crystal meth in a trailer. I consciously avoid wearing shirts with the Tazmanian Devil adorned in 80's hip hop clothing, I don't walk around in shit-stained work boots, I make it a point not to smell like cat piss, I don't shave the sides of my head while leaving slightly more hair on top, I don't put 'bad ass' decals of of Tweety Bird and Tinker Belle on my car, etc. I actively avoid those things, as they're associated with a negative stereotype.

And sure, anyone saying things like simply wearing a hoodie makes you look like a thug is obviously a fucking moron. One article of clothing does not a style make and all that.

But when you have a large swath of people saying, "I find dress and attitude more intimidating than anything", why would you write that off so casually? There's obviously something to that line of thinking and seems it would be far more productive to have an honest discussion about that, rather than metaphorically saying, "Well YOU tell ME what I'm allowed to wear, dad!" If the simple act discarding a style of dress is all it takes to remove one of the biggest or last racist or prejudiced stereotypes in a lot of people... why not do it?
If you keep having to change yourself to support busybody whims, why would that be an ideal solution? That is unworkable. I'm sure some people think I'm a white supremacist because I shave my hair but I have to because my hair is basically gone. (Not saying it's equivalent to getting followed around a store or institutional racism before someone gets the wrong idea.) But I have to do it so if someone doesn't like it, too bad. It's still not nearly the same thing as racism, but I get different looks and have even heard what people think about loners and quiet people. There's that "it's always the quiet ones" perception that all loners are creeps and they're probably serial killers! But I won't change my personality or life because some person I don't know and will never have any meaningful relationship with has the wrong idea. I can't imagine what a circus it would be to try and please everyone.
 
I'm going to sound like a completely ignorant racist here, but what's up with the pants below the ass thing? Like, I understand the baggy pants thing. What I don't get is the baggy, baggy, baggy pants where the pants are at like thigh level. Is that comfortable? Is even asking this racist?
 
When I was a Teenager most of this stuff applied to me. The guys at 7-11 would watch us like hawks , the cops would come and bother us all the time also.

I think it comes down simply to people trying to protect themselves from what they believe is a danger.


Now when I was in highschool back in the late 90s Rap was in and you'd have people emulate that. I got into grunge when I was young because of my older sister and transitioned to heavy metal . Being 6'4 and 240lbs (a right tackle in football ) and wearing shirts with skeletons and other things on the shirt , i could certianly see why older people would cross the street when my group rolled down the street. I can see why at 9pm cops were called on us.

I'm sure if i dressed diffrently in a suit and tie this wouldn't have happened. I see my mother cross the street away from people of all races and when I ask she allways tells me that its better safe than sorry. They could be the nicest people she will ever meet but at the same time they could be the ones that try to hurt her. All I can say is I honestly agree with her. When I walk by myself I hardly ever care who I walk past (except when I'm in camden then i have to watch out). But if I'm walking my niece or nephew i will cross the street if i see a group of teenagers dressed up in a way that would make me doubt their ability to make the right choices.


I don't think the list at the front of the page is something that only blacks go through . There might be many negative things black youths might encounter but I don't think those on the front page are them and really fail at the point
 
I'm going to sound like a completely ignorant racist here, but what's up with the pants below the ass thing? Like, I understand the baggy pants thing. What I don't get is the baggy, baggy, baggy pants where the pants are at like thigh level. Is that comfortable? Is even asking this racist?

but a lot of young guys do that. Its not even a race thing. One of my friends wears his jeans at his knees (it was hilarious trying to watch him walk properly), and he's Asian. Another friend (white) does it too.
 
Because it doesn't solve anything. If black people stopped wearing that, then whatever black people started wearing next would become the "one last racist/prejudiced stereotype", and why don't you just stop wearing that thing because it makes people uncomfortable, etc.

This is not new. Just change what you like to wear and wear what we wear and we'll like you. That same argument is made generation after generation. You can even go back to the Zoot Suit controversy of the 1940's.

And thats a fair point. Don't get me wrong – I'm not saying that discarding 'rap culture' fashion and whatnot would be the absolute end of racism or anything... Race relations are such a tangled mess in America and theres no one thing we can do to make it go away. But it is one element that can be tackled and dealt with somewhat easily.
If you wanted to avoid it happening again, then we would have to avoid letting the marketers and media moguls create such strong stereotypes again... and how we could go about doing that and whether or not that's a reasonable expectation is another question entirely.



I don't know you, I don't want to judge you. Can you though, seriously, not see how CRAZY that is to ask of us? Free beings? Just like you?

Nobody is asking you to do anything, chief. I certainly am not, at least. Thats not the point, though. The point is that certain styles or behaviors are associated with certain negative attitudes or stereotypes. I'll agree with you 10,000% that it isn't FAIR that such conceptions often exist, but... welcome to the realities of the media and marketing, if nothing else.

Again though – if you're going to dress in a way that comes with preconceived notions, guess what? People are going to conceive you that way! If you dress like a farmer, a lot of people are going to assume you're a farmer. If you dress like a gangsta, a lot of people are going to assume you're a gangsta.

It's about saying, "This is (unfairly) associated with 'things' that do not represent me as a person, therefore I will not engage in those 'things'."
Hell, it really isn't even a question of race at that point. It's really a question of why you would associate yourself with ANYTHING – positive or negative – if it doesn't represent who you are as a person.
Can you honestly say you've never been in a store, saw something that you thought was kind of cool but then said, "Yeah, its cool, but if I wear that, people are going to think I'm a _______!"
 
It doesn't mean you have to, but it means you would be wise to. I'm a white guy who shaves his head. I also love to wear tank tops, affectionately known as "wife beaters". I used to wear them everywhere, and a lot of people were scared of me or assumed things about me. I'm wiser about it now and don't wear those things, though I still shave my head. I still scare people, but mostly because of my mannerisms, and I accept that. I certainly don't blame "society". I do what I do knowingly, and that means accepting the consequences.

Proper attire is not a "black thing", it's something everyone deals with. I have go to out of my way to not look like some kind of Neo-Nazi thanks to some idiots that messed up my preferred dress style. But I deal with it.
Hey, I respect your decision. I have white friends that pull the same look. Truth be told, thats my look. I understand that you don't want to offend and that it is NOT your intention to come off that way. You know what though? At some point, I have to live...WE have to live.

Look, I'm not trying to come off as some saint. I lived a nice chunk of my life (the young and dumb parts) stereotyping. Be it race, sexual orientation, religion...usual suspects. I had to teach myself to embrace the differences. It wasn't easy, believe me. Truth is, I find myself checking myself more and more as my kids get older.

They are color blind. They love everyone. They help the neighbors, black, white or Latin. Hold doors open. Say please and thank you. The important things. Dress to not intimidate? Nah man. I'm not teaching that, they dress fine. Trust me, they don't dress like me anyway lol, i'm a relic to them.

If people feel the need to judge, so be it. Those people tend to hide amongst themselves anyway. It saddens me for sure, but I just don't understand why I need to be uncomfortable so THEY CAN BE. Seriously? I've had to swallow a ton of bitter pills in this life...ain't swallowing that one!
 
Hey, I respect your decision. I have white friends that pull the same look. Truth be told, thats my look. I understand that you don't want to offend and that it is NOT your intention to come off that way. You know what though? At some point, I have to live...WE have to live.

Look, I'm not trying to come off as some saint. I lived a nice chunk of my life (the young and dumb parts) stereotyping. Be it race, sexual orientation, religion...usual suspects. I had to teach myself to embrace the differences. It wasn't easy, believe me. Truth is, I find myself checking myself more and more as my kids get older.

They are color blind. They love everyone. They help the neighbors, black, white or Latin. Hold doors open. Say please and thank you. The important things. Dress to not intimidate? Nah man. I'm not teaching that, they dress fine. Trust me, they don't dress like me anyway lol, i'm a relic to them.

If people feel the need to judge, so be it. Those people tend to hide amongst themselves anyway. It saddens me for sure, but I just don't understand why I need to be uncomfortable so THEY CAN BE. Seriously? I've had to swallow a ton of bitter pills in this life...ain't swallowing that one!
I dig you on the innocence of children. I didn't even think to divide people by skin color until I was in kindergarten. I was raised in Arizona, which still has a lot of racism, and some kids in my class were calling some classmates of mine "niggers". In my innocence as a child, I even went home and referred to those classmates as "niggers", but not with any kind of hatred or maliciousness - I just thought it was another way of referring to them, like a nickname. It wasn't until our teacher had to have a talk with our class about the word that it even occurred to me that someone might judge a person by the color of his or her skin. It's just a fundamentally stupid notion to me.

On the point of dress, I would never said anyone needed to or should do anything, only that, if one wants certain things, there is a wise course of action and an unwise one. I'll be applying for jobs as a professor in a few months, and you can bet your butt I won't be wearing anything but a suit and tie to interviews. I haven't decided what I'll wear to classrooms, but it definitely won't be a tanktop! At my old job, I chose not to shave my beard and mustache, because I think facial hair is a part of manliness - I don't follow the modern notion of trying to keep a pre-pubescent face. My boss didn't take kindly to it, but he let it go. In a sense, you just have to pick your battles, and I'm just not interested in picking the whole world as my battleground with regard to my dress wear. It's not a fight I'm interested in having. I have bigger fish to fry.
 
Because despite how educated you may or may not be, you completely lack the experience that you continually name as being key to understanding this issue. I would never say "Hey, transsexuals, don't you hate when people question your gender, amirite?!" It's incredibly tacky.

I don't know, it seemed kinda off to me too. I personally would never ask a question like that because I can't know if they might find me asking offensive, and don't have the insight to know what it feels like to be called that. I'd rather not be the one to bring such negative words into the conversation, to be honest. Its not my place to do so.
 
Again though – if you're going to dress in a way that comes with preconceived notions, guess what? People are going to conceive you that way! If you dress like a farmer, a lot of people are going to assume you're a farmer. If you dress like a gangsta, a lot of people are going to assume you're a gangsta.

It's about saying, "This is (unfairly) associated with 'things' that do not represent me as a person, therefore I will not engage in those 'things'."
Hell, it really isn't even a question of race at that point. It's really a question of why you would associate yourself with ANYTHING – positive or negative – if it doesn't represent who you are as a person.
Can you honestly say you've never been in a store, saw something that you thought was kind of cool but then said, "Yeah, its cool, but if I wear that, people are going to think I'm a _______!"
Sure, pink = gay to me when I was young. I grew up. That's all i'm saying. I understand that things can get burned into your brain, it happens. It also doesn't make it right. I get it. If I dress a certain way then guess what? Ok, its still wrong.

I'm not here for you, I am here for me and mine *don't mean you directly btw.* I'm assuming one can be sad about the state of things though, right? When I get followed and my white friends don't? Wearing the same shit? Yeah, sucks...feels kinda terrible.
Again, I was just asking if you couldn't see how backwards and bizarre that is. If you could understand that I have freedom, but its my own fault for wearing what has been decided is "no no" cloths. You have a right to your opinion. This is just mine, human brother/sister.
 
I get that hair bullshit all the time. They always claim that my hair feels so weird and that they have to touch it, despite me telling them to stop nearly every time I talk to them.

Also the multitudes of times I've been escorted to the fitting room were pretty fun too. One time, a worker stood in front of the door till I finished and seemed do be trying to look through the cracks.

The most fun time was when I was stopped by the police (with their hands on their guns) for being black and wearing a red hoodie at OSU ( our colors are scarlet and gray) just because a recent robber fit that description ( he was also reported to be much thinner than I am and 5 inches taller).
 
I don't know, it seemed kinda off to me too. I personally would never ask a question like that because I can't know if they might find me asking offensive, and don't have the insight to know what it feels like to be called that. I'd rather not be the one to bring such negative words into the conversation, to be honest. Its not my place to do so.

It helps if you build up rep as someone who isn't a racist and they know you're asking from a state of genuine curiosity.
 
It helps if you build up rep as someone who isn't a racist and they know you're asking from a state of genuine curiosity.

Haha, yeah that's true. I guess I'm just overly cautious when it comes to race, especially since my experience in asking race related questions has been met largely with "I'd rather not talk about it".
 
I'm going to sound like a completely ignorant racist here, but what's up with the pants below the ass thing? Like, I understand the baggy pants thing. What I don't get is the baggy, baggy, baggy pants where the pants are at like thigh level. Is that comfortable? Is even asking this racist?

Saggy pants started in prisons because inmates got oversized outfits and belts are not allowed and then worked its way into rap and fashion. Its just got more and more stupid over the years where underwear hanging out.

Goes back to what I said that if you want to identify with that subculture don't bitch when people have a bad impression of you and this is all races who do it not just black people.

You will be looked down upon and rightly so.
 
I dig you on the innocence of children. I didn't even think to divide people by skin color until I was in kindergarten. I was raised in Arizona, which still has a lot of racism, and some kids in my class were calling some classmates of mine "niggers". In my innocence as a child, I even went home and referred to those classmates as "niggers", but not with any kind of hatred or maliciousness - I just thought it was another way of referring to them, like a nickname. It wasn't until our teacher had to have a talk with our class about the word that it even occurred to me that someone might judge a person by the color of his or her skin. It's just a fundamentally stupid notion to me.

On the point of dress, I would never said anyone needed to or should do anything, only that, if one wants certain things, there is a wise course of action and an unwise one. I'll be applying for jobs as a professor in a few months, and you can bet your butt I won't be wearing anything but a suit and tie to interviews. I haven't decided what I'll wear to classrooms, but it definitely won't be a tanktop! At my old job, I chose not to shave my beard and mustache, because I think facial hair is a part of manliness - I don't follow the modern notion of trying to keep a pre-pubescent face. My boss didn't take kindly to it, but he let it go. In a sense, you just have to pick your battles, and I'm just not interested in picking the whole world as my battleground with regard to my dress wear. It's not a fight I'm interested in having. I have bigger fish to fry.

I'm with you on the suit and tie thing man, don't get me wrong. A jobs a job. I'm mainly talking about ME time, you know, my thing when I have the freedom to do what I please. For myself at least, my way of dress saved me from nothing.

At white weddings? A black guy? What's he doing here? Latino wedding: ¿Quien trajo el mono? or Who brought the monkey? Left my favorite aunts funeral and asked someone for the time..."I've got the time, but I ain't got no money." All while wearing a suit or tux lol. I wish Gamestop was open...

I'm just personally done with having to not intimidate. Its going to happen regardless. Been black with a beard and 6'4 since 13 years of age. Kind of a hard sell, no? I understand you though and also respect your opinion, we just obviously do a couple things different...cept rocking the bald/beard look. Props
 
I'm with you on the suit and tie thing man, don't get me wrong. A jobs a job. I'm mainly talking about ME time, you know, my thing when I have the freedom to do what I please. For myself at least, my way of dress saved me from nothing.

At white weddings? A black guy? What's he doing here? Latino wedding: ¿Quien trajo el mono? or Who brought the monkey? Left my favorite aunts funeral and asked someone for the time..."I've got the time, but I ain't got no money." All while wearing a suit or tux lol. I wish Gamestop was open...

I'm just personally done with having to not intimidate. Its going to happen regardless. Been black with a beard and 6'4 since 13 years of age. Kind of a hard sell, no? I understand you though and also respect your opinion, we just obviously do a couple things different...cept rocking the bald/beard look. Props
I follow you. Moving to Chicago in this last year, I've actually had my first major, sustained dose of being the racial minority (I've always been a minority in some other, non-obvious ways). I went to a MvC3 tournament up in north Chicago and, aside from my wife, was the only white person there. I didn't really find it uncomfortable until, while everyone but me was screaming with hype, one of the guys said "Hey ya'll calm down, you're scaring the white people". Not the nicest thing to say.

It's kind of an odd living situation, because my campus is 2 blocks from here, and the student body is maybe 80% white, but right outside of that campus the population is maybe 90% black.

And undoubtedly, 6'4" is a hard sell no matter your clothing.
 
-When in a store don't have your hands in your pockets.

haha! I do this on pure instinct every time. Pretty fucking sad when I really think about it...
 
Go into northern Idaho and go into a store as a non-white person. I was actually laughing out loud at how bad it got. Actually the ladies at the deli were nice, probably because I'm sexy as hell. But yeah, If people want to stare at me or follow me in a store I just stare or literally follow them back.

Why would you ever go anywhere in Idaho?
 
Black GAF what conversation should I be having with my son? Should I tell him to expect certain people to treat him differently since he's mixed? I'm white so I'm not really inclined to tell him anything except how you'd tell any kid/teenager to conduct themselves in public.

This is a serious question. I never thought about this shit before until I read this thread. Now I'm a bit concerned.
 
As a poor white kid, we were still told all the things in the OP. We were also picked on by our principal at school because my mom fought back then she tried to have us put on meds/spedtracked because we were on welfare. That principal made my elementary years a living hell.

Still nowhere near as bad as the black kids had it in North Omaha. Omaha alone pushes Nebraska up to being the third deadliest city for a black resident.

A black Nebraska resident during that span was 18 times more likely to be a victim of homicide than a white resident. That black-white disparity is much wider in Nebraska than the nation, where blacks are about seven times more likely to be a homicide victim.

The toll goes beyond the victims and the people who loved them. There were children in north Omaha during the recent eruption of violence who saw people they knew gunned down in front of them.

Looking at the homicide maps for the city will make you sad as fuck. It's not even fair to those kids, let alone the shit they'll catch from racist store managers.
 
If you wanna see racism, go live in South Africa as a white person.


But yea these are pretty universal. I was told this. I remember when I got accused of stealing a smashing pumpkins cassette. Police even showed up.
 
-When buying something from the store always get it in a bag.

I'm white... and almost never get bags. The thought that I would be accused of theft just never crosses my mind. It's stuff like that you just don't think about when you don't have that experience.
 
I often feel like this is just as much about mannerisms and dress as it is about race. When I'm walking down the street, guess which one of these makes me the most nervous?

cotton-cashmere-cardigan_081009.jpg

l.jpg


I'm not saying that racism is non-existent in this country, but people ought to look at how they dress and act. When five black guys dressed like the dude in my second picture are coming my way, I get a little nervous, but not because they are black. How people dress and act are indicative of the kinds of behavior they'll engage in.

For anyone curious, I'm a white guy living in south Chicago. It's a dangerous place to live. The Subway 2 blocks from me has boarded windows because someone shot through them and the owner can't afford to replace the glass, and every window has bars on it that make you feel like you're living in a prison.

Race has a bit to do with it, but the way people dress definitely has a bigger impact on perceptions. Your pictures are good examples of that.
 
Wow, I am certainly glad I live in UK. Everyone is treated the same. Yes, there are some tensions here and there, but being followed in a shop...

And they say America is freedom!
 
ok. I've slept. Yesterday I spent a work day lifting boxes, then to come home and clean up the house for family that is coming over today.

Believe it or not DJango Reinhardt, I did read all of your posts. Just like you think merely because your 'different opinions' cause you to be called a troll, I notice my calling you a troll must have meant that I couldn't have possibly read the thread, or your posts. Both aren't necessarily so.

You come into a thread about the unfortunate, ironic, and sometimes hilarious realities of being a black man, a big giant 'other' in a neuroses filled, self-focused society, to initially state how talking about race is boring and trite. And how the problem is that people group themselves by skin color, that they let race affect them, and so, are then affected by race. We do it to ourselves, in other words. You also go on to say that all those things listed in the OP are things all kids should learn, including maintaining anxiety and distance around women, making sure to display to Police that you are not a threat, and to accept the possibility of being an assumed thief, and to take steps to not act suspiciously. As well as understanding that when you're out with your black friends, you're automatically a bunch of hoodlums so don't look like you could cause trouble. Learn it, know it, live it. (Of course you later evolve your statements to say that teaching these things to kids is actually not helpful, but I think you initial point is to say that these tidbits of knowledge aren't much of a problem unless we make it one, so we should just accept it and 'keep it movin' playa'. Can't let race affect us.)[and if you really want to get deep, muddy, lowborn whites in the Olde world were probably taught the same thing ages ago, if they were even allowed in the stores. But in America, the negro was the new bottom rung, and even an immigrant could come over with his head held high, knowing he was much better than the "neggers", and with enough hard work, he could one day be somebody. But yeah, every kid should know these things.]

actually I was going to go post by post, but it's breakfast time so I'll sum it up: You're wrong. But that's beside the point. You disagree with the premise of the thread, which is still fine, but then you immediately take a perpendicular stance, to say that even discussing it contributing to the problem. As irony, it would have been really good, but the other unfortunately likely possibilities were that you were trying to get a rise out of people, or that you actually believed what you were posting. The last one seemed least likely, because it made no sense to me, so since your subsequent posts didn't seem like you were being ironic, I assumed you were just working the thread. So then I decided to have at you a little bit.
 
Black GAF what conversation should I be having with my son? Should I tell him to expect certain people to treat him differently since he's mixed? I'm white so I'm not really inclined to tell him anything except how you'd tell any kid/teenager to conduct themselves in public.

This is a serious question. I never thought about this shit before until I read this thread. Now I'm a bit concerned.

You need to sit him down and tell him he pretty has to put his best foot forward at all times. That people will expect the worst and pre-judge solely based on the color of his skin and that when he does mess, he'll have few people in his corner. Depending on where you live/send him to school and the kinda hobbies he gravitates towards, tell him to get used to being the odd man out as well. As a black guy who had a sea of white friends in my later high school years, I had to always remind them that certain shit would not fly with me because if things went south, I was the one who would probably suffer the most from it.

One recent example is my mothers cat ran away, and at an ungodly hour (past 12am), I had to go out looking for it. Living in an almost all white neighborhood, I was painfully aware of how things might look if I was caught in someones yard, trying to look for my cat.
 
I'm black and i never really had a problem with any other race. People think I'm cool as fuck, and my first best friend I ever had was this white kid named Sean when I was like 5 years old.

I'm always wearing gamer shirts and stuff anyway, so people see me as an eccentric black geek than anything else. I always do feel awkward going into stores with my backpack though. I ride the Metro a lot and don't really have a car.

I think it all depends where you live. Since I live in Maryland, this whole place is a melting pot where I see everyone, and white kids especially listening to rap music(which I hate), wearing fitted caps, etc
 
I think it all depends where you live. Since I live in Maryland, this whole place is a melting pot where I see everyone, and white kids especially listening to rap music(which I hate), wearing fitted caps, etc

I'm guessing you live in the Washington Metro area. DC is a special case, especially the Maryland side of DC.(Especially since 40% of folk moved further out to Howard Co. and Anne Arundel Co. to avoid certain other folk...so the people who stayed would be the ones less likely to have problems.) I grew up in the 80s where half my neighbors were white, they're all gone now though...we did have problems. My white best friend's dad said some things that my dad overhead, and suddenly I wasn't allowed over his house any more. I even had to change football teams because he was the coach. I still don't know what he said. I only know it happened after their mom, who was a really nice lady, had me over and made us lunch, and I think I said something dumb because it was just Kraft macaroni and cheese, or something, I think I asked for iced tea instead of water...innocently obnoxious, I guess? I really don't remember, but I always wondered. I also liked his little sister, Erin...
 
Wow, I am certainly glad I live in UK. Everyone is treated the same. Yes, there are some tensions here and there, but being followed in a shop...

And they say America is freedom!

The UK definitely isn't perfect, especially outside of London and other big cities.
 
You need to sit him down and tell him he pretty has to put his best foot forward at all times. That people will expect the worst and pre-judge solely based on the color of his skin and that when he does mess, he'll have few people in his corner. Depending on where you live/send him to school and the kinda hobbies he gravitates towards, tell him to get used to being the odd man out as well. As a black guy who had a sea of white friends in my later high school years, I had to always remind them that certain shit would not fly with me because if things went south, I was the one who would probably suffer the most from it.

One recent example is my mothers cat ran away, and at an ungodly hour (past 12am), I had to go out looking for it. Living in an almost all white neighborhood, I was painfully aware of how things might look if I was caught in someones yard, trying to look for my cat.

This really kind of pisses me off that he will have to deal with this. This may sound odd as well, but should he worry about being treated different by other black people since he's mixed? I hope not I just want him to be accepted for who he is and makes me nervous about where I should live or send him to school. I feel like I might go Kerouac on anybody who fucks with him.
 
just to be a devil's advocate, I've heard blacks say the same thing about other blacks


- calling them "white"

- being suspicious of random blacks on the street etc

discuss
 
I'm from the South. Down here if you're young and doing anything meaningful in your life the way we dress is irrelivent. Im far too busy living to be concerned about what the region and its people that went to war over the enslavement of my forefathers thinks of me. Sorry guys with kids, that's the future.

I think its important for everyone in society to realize ignorance is eroding at a fast pace. In my city ill get on an elevator with whoever and think nothing of my appearance or the people the elevator. Lol when I think about I might have on all black with a ski mask.

It's 2012. Get real. I'll dress the way society wants me to during the interview. White people have done horrible things to people in general, i should be giving them all kinds of uncomfortable looks.
 
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