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Magic: The Gathering |OT|

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So what's the fastest theoretical way to win a game?

  1. 7->5 cards: Tropical Island + Cast Birds of Paradise
  2. 6->3 cards: Draw & Cast Temporal Mastery + Savannah + Cast Birds of Paradise, Badlands + Reaper King
  3. 4->0 cards: Draw & Cast Temporal Mastery + Land + Wild Growth, Land + Coalition Victory

There are a few turn 0 wins in vintage.

Play Island, discard Simian Spirt Guide, play Flash putting into play Protean Hulk. Protean Hulk goes to graveyard. Using protean hulk's ability search 4 Disciple of the Vault, 4 Phyrexian Maurader, and 4 Shifting Wall. The walls and Mauraders will die and the Disciples will do 32 damage to the opponent.
 
I had an embarassing rage quit last night.

We were playing a 6 player game, and my one friend was talking crap across the table at me about how he was going to kill me next turn. So I did what anyone would do -- I attacked him with my Primeval Titan and Wolf Run'd it for like 12 before he could.

My friend next to me, who was the only person I hadn't attacked all game, decided NOW was the time to Go For The Throat my titan.

So I quietly and calmly scooped my cards. I don't even know why. I wasn't really mad, I was just finished with that game. I mean, if he was going to kill me anyway, what was the point of staying on the table, I guess.

Can't wait to hear about that for the next couple weeks lol

Let's be honest.

U were mad.
 
My friend always gets mad when I go for the flourish kills on Duels of the Planeswalkers and set up weird combos to leave him with exactly 0 life. My favorite was forcing him into killing my creature so that his own enchantment would kill him.
 
I rage on my group at shit like that. And it's at my house. Awkward!

What makes it suck is something we discussed in here a page or two ago. The games go on for like an hour to two hours. And the second someone tries to do something aggressive or, heck, that even represents forward progress, someone thinks it's funny to extend the game by negating or reversing it.
 
What makes it suck is something we discussed in here a page or two ago. The games go on for like an hour to two hours. And the second someone tries to do something aggressive or, heck, that even represents forward progress, someone thinks it's funny to extend the game by negating or reversing it.

That is exactly what pushes me over the edge. And for the rest of the night I attack that one person non stop.

Think I am going to have a draft tonight to change it up.
 
I had an embarassing rage quit last night.

We were playing a 6 player game, and my one friend was talking crap across the table at me about how he was going to kill me next turn. So I did what anyone would do -- I attacked him with my Primeval Titan and Wolf Run'd it for like 12 before he could.

My friend next to me, who was the only person I hadn't attacked all game, decided NOW was the time to Go For The Throat my titan.

So I quietly and calmly scooped my cards. I don't even know why. I wasn't really mad, I was just finished with that game. I mean, if he was going to kill me anyway, what was the point of staying on the table, I guess.

Can't wait to hear about that for the next couple weeks lol

There's no such things as deals, friends or alliances around a playing table.

I learnt it the hard way!
 
There's no such things as deals, friends or alliances around a playing table.

I learnt it the hard way!

No, that I know. I guess I shouldn't be surprised -- this is the same person who, when given a dragon with that card that gives everyone a dragon but one person, sent it my way next turn.

He also loves Stasis.

Looking back, why was I surprised lol
 
I had an embarassing rage quit last night.

We were playing a 6 player game, and my one friend was talking crap across the table at me about how he was going to kill me next turn. So I did what anyone would do -- I attacked him with my Primeval Titan and Wolf Run'd it for like 12 before he could.

My friend next to me, who was the only person I hadn't attacked all game, decided NOW was the time to Go For The Throat my titan.

So I quietly and calmly scooped my cards. I don't even know why. I wasn't really mad, I was just finished with that game. I mean, if he was going to kill me anyway, what was the point of staying on the table, I guess.

Can't wait to hear about that for the next couple weeks lol

I had a similar incident a few weeks back. Two of the players at the table were playing paaaaaainfully slow and paaaaaaainfully dumb as well. They always team up and try to help each other out so we are used to that nonsense, but this time they were being exceptionally obnoxious. At one point between the two of them they wasted 80% of their creatures and spells just to kill me off (while another player sat at 68 life and no creatures). I calmly scooped up and then announced very matter of factly that we were taking a break next week because otherwise I was liable to start punching people in the face.
It wasn't dying that pissed me off, or even getting teamed up on. Thats fine, thats how it goes. It was the fact they did so at the expense of so many of their own creatures and counters and removal spells that naturally they were the very next ones to die. I don't mind aggressive play, I do mind it when someone is playing like a fucking idiot. Especially when we've been playing together as a group for 3 years. Get your shit together and play with an ounce of intelligence or don't bother playing at all.



anyways

In response to the "quickest kill", charbelcher can go off turn 1 as well.
 
I had a similar incident a few weeks back. Two of the players at the table were playing paaaaaainfully slow and paaaaaaainfully dumb as well. They always team up and try to help each other out so we are used to that nonsense, but this time they were being exceptionally obnoxious. At one point between the two of them they wasted 80% of their creatures and spells just to kill me off (while another player sat at 68 life and no creatures). I calmly scooped up and then announced very matter of factly that we were taking a break next week because otherwise I was liable to start punching people in the face.
It wasn't dying that pissed me off, or even getting teamed up on. Thats fine, thats how it goes. It was the fact they did so at the expense of so many of their own creatures and counters and removal spells that naturally they were the very next ones to die. I don't mind aggressive play, I do mind it when someone is playing like a fucking idiot. Especially when we've been playing together as a group for 3 years. Get your shit together and play with an ounce of intelligence or don't bother playing at all.



anyways

In response to the "quickest kill", charbelcher can go off turn 1 as well.

Tell me about it. Some of the people I play with, we have to take our turn while they're still wrapping up their post combat phase. Because instead of passing the turn right away, you know, with all their lands tapped and 0 cards in hand, they sit there and stare at the board like they can do something else.

Then they get mad that we're trying to push the game forward. I don't get it. Fucking get with it guys.

Kinda wish I could play with you guys here haha
 
Let's be further honest, if you don't get upset a couple of times playing, then you're just missing a part of your brain.

We all mad.
 
Some of the people I play with, we have to take our turn while they're still wrapping up their post combat phase. Because instead of passing the turn right away, you know, with all their lands tapped and 0 cards in play, they sit there and stare at the board like they can do something else.

Then they get mad that we're trying to push the game forward. I don't get it. Fucking get with it guys.

This gets really really bad at our games because 1. we are playing T4 which means each turn SHOULD take 20 seconds but somehow some of the people playing take 20 goddamn minutes to decid what to play.
and 2. everyone is high as fuck and/or drunk as fuck so by hour 3 it's like playing with mentally challenged pre schoolers (myself included).
 
wKAhp.jpg
 
It's a bomb in limited.

I don't see it, frankly. Okay, so green is likely to have the 6 to play it. So, it gives one creature a pretty awesome boost and trample that is likely going to be useless because it forces everything to block. So, creature removal, I suppose is the ideal.

Eh. I guess I just talked myself into seeing its use.
 
How totally useless is that card.

I could see it potentially in my mono green deck. 95% of the time I have a creature out first turn, if I drew that second turn I could hit for 7 and have the game be over in another 2.
 
I played a really random black/white humans/tokens/sacrifice deck based on one of the dark ascension intro decks last night at WEDNESDAY NIGHT MAGIC. It's super fun to play, even if I did go 1-3 with it, haha. I love Vampiric Torturer. Plus if you can sac tokens or doomed traveler you can upgrade your village cannibals or unruly mob easily.

This deck is similar in essence.

Also being able to sac anything that's going to die in combat is neat, too.

Ahhhh I just wanna play more games with it.
 
I could see it potentially in my mono green deck. 95% of the time I have a creature out first turn, if I drew that second turn I could hit for 7 and have the game be over in another 2.

Too bad buff spells are quite a lot worse when casted "sorcery" speed.
 
Too bad buff spells are quite a lot worse when casted "sorcery" speed.

All spells are worse casted sorcery speeds. I'll take a 7/7 elf swinging on my second turn, even if it means it has to come at sorcery speed.
I probably won't even bother though tbh. Might try playtesting it once or twice but my guess is I wont have room for it.
 
I don't see it, frankly. Okay, so green is likely to have the 6 to play it. So, it gives one creature a pretty awesome boost and trample that is likely going to be useless because it forces everything to block. So, creature removal, I suppose is the ideal.

Eh. I guess I just talked myself into seeing its use.

Yeah, you got it. It's basically a 1 sided board sweeper. I would pick this card very high I think.
 
Here we go, this is my preliminary black/white human sacrifice deck:

Creature (20)
2x Village Cannibals
2x Unruly Mob
2x Ravenous Demon
4x Doomed Traveler
3x Falkenrath Torturer
3x Thraben Doomsayer
4x Champion of the Parish

Land (23)
2x Vault of the Archangel
7x Swamp
4x Isolated Chapel
10x Plains

Instant (4)
2x Altar's Reap
2x Tragic Slip

Sorcery (8)
2x Increasing Devotion
2x Unburial Rites
4x Gather the Townsfolk

Enchantment (5)
2x Seance
3x Intangible Virtue

Anyone have any suggestions? :)
 
TIME WALK FOR 2
SWORDS TO PLOWSHARES FOR 1
GOBLIN GRENADE FOR 1

Double Giant Growth for 1 at sorcery speed.

:|
 
This gets really really bad at our games because 1. we are playing T4 which means each turn SHOULD take 20 seconds but somehow some of the people playing take 20 goddamn minutes to decid what to play.
and 2. everyone is high as fuck and/or drunk as fuck so by hour 3 it's like playing with mentally challenged pre schoolers (myself included).

This sounds depressingly familiar

I am sooooooo glad to learn I am not alone in suffering through long, awful multiplayer games. Nice to have company.
 
Hopefully we get a 8cc Mythic Miracle that gives a Tooth and Nail effect to make up for this abomination.

GOD FORBID GREEN ACTUALLY DOES SOMETHING USEFUL.

HEY. I'M PUMPING THIS SHIT UP K?

AND IT'S GOING TO ATTACK YOU. DON'T VAPOR SNAG OR SOMETHING.
 
Eh, I don't even think it's that great as a sweeper. The deathtouch combo is interesting but it'd be more useable if Deadly Allure were instant speed, at least
 
Lol. They could have at least had it grant deathtouch too. Then it could at least essentially sweep their board.

Oh, and it's a Rare. *even more laughing*

Not that I haven't won games with Lure before.
 
Yeah, Commander is taxing. I've done a move similar where I did nothing most of the game, then I finally decide to counter my buddy's creature who was already on the brink of dying. Next turn, next player kills him. He was not happy! It becomes a game of Survivor. We all build alliance n shit and then backstab each other in the end lol.

Meh in Standards.
s7ulb.jpg
 
Watch black get something like, target creature gets -6/-6 for their 6cc Miracle.

And blue can get Ancestral Visions.
 
Hey! Green had some great DFC cards that were totally useful as long as your opponent didn't actually play spells and stuff!

Uh....Beast Within too!
 
Uh....Beast Within too!
Fuck I love that card. For once, I could be green and not be at the mercy Planeswalkers/bombs.

Oh and, if you topdeck this with nothing but Llannowar Elves or Birds of Paradise on the field, have fun not doing anything with it because you need to keep them untapped to ramp.
 
Not that I haven't won games with Lure before.

Yeah, the one reason I'm not totally down on it (yet) - Lure is a highly underrated ability wherever it happens to pop up

And it's not like the sorcery thing is that big of a deal as you are playing it as a sorcery anyway if you are paying the miracle cost. All of the miracle cards are kinda mediocre if you don't actually play them as miracles, not just the green one
 
Banishing Stroke is still instant unconditional removal that affects everything besides lands and planeswalkers, doesn't trigger Undying and doesn't allow the target to be revived. Revenge of the Hunted, without Miracle, isn't nearly as good yet it is still Sorcery speed.

It makes no sense, when has instant speed pump ever been a huge threat?
 
It just isn't terribly well designed, honestly, and the sorcery speed is a reflection of that. It's a poor choice from green's standard repertoire for a miracle
 
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