Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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She said if I minded doing our date a bit later this week, so she did technically reschedule, just not a precise when. But the whole "oh yeah I'm suddenly sick a couple of hours before we're supposed to meet and didn't bother at all to give me a heads up during the entire day" kind of leaves me feeling less than positive about it.

I've been sick on days of dates, and I've made sure to let them know asap so they won't waste the whole day without having nay backup plans.
 
SpectreFire said:
She said if I minded doing our date a bit later this week, so she did technically reschedule, just not a precise when. But the whole "oh yeah I'm suddenly sick a couple of hours before we're supposed to meet and didn't bother at all to give me a heads up during the entire day" kind of leaves me feeling less than positive about it.

I've been sick on days of dates, and I've made sure to let them know asap so they won't waste the whole day without having nay backup plans.
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Well, she seems to be a bit nonchalant about the whole thing. However, i do not see why you should go the "protect your dignity" route. Just set up a time and give her a second chance.
 
SpectreFire said:
She said if I minded doing our date a bit later this week, so she did technically reschedule, just not a precise when. But the whole "oh yeah I'm suddenly sick a couple of hours before we're supposed to meet and didn't bother at all to give me a heads up during the entire day" kind of leaves me feeling less than positive about it.

I've been sick on days of dates, and I've made sure to let them know asap so they won't waste the whole day without having nay backup plans.
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Maybe she was sick and was sleeping the whole day? Or was stuck at the doctors? If she rescheduled then you're good to go, and now have to wait. Looking too far into things like this is a fast track to undoing yourself. Wish her better and let her rest.

As for bolded, remember that not everyone is the same.
 
SpectreFire said:
She said if I minded doing our date a bit later this week, so she did technically reschedule, just not a precise when. But the whole "oh yeah I'm suddenly sick a couple of hours before we're supposed to meet and didn't bother at all to give me a heads up during the entire day" kind of leaves me feeling less than positive about it.

I've been sick on days of dates, and I've made sure to let them know asap so they won't waste the whole day without having nay backup plans.
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Is it better to get notified of 'sickness' earlier? Like, I was woken up by a text saying she was sick this morning and we were talking about where we'd meet last night. She said she was looking forward to it and we'll need to reschedule when she is better.

No clue if she's lying or not though, sickness is the go to thing to get out of stuff.
It's best not to over-think it. I'll give her one more chance and if she flakes out on that one I'll be done with her.
 
SpectreFire said:
She said if I minded doing our date a bit later this week, so she did technically reschedule, just not a precise when. But the whole "oh yeah I'm suddenly sick a couple of hours before we're supposed to meet and didn't bother at all to give me a heads up during the entire day" kind of leaves me feeling less than positive about it.

I've been sick on days of dates, and I've made sure to let them know asap so they won't waste the whole day without having nay backup plans.
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People flake out all the time. Technology makes it easy: before cell phones, how would you tell someone you couldn't make it last-minute? You'd have to fake being sick, figure out what to say, etc. Nowadays, send a text, feel guilty for a minute, then move on.

Maybe she thought she was still well enough to go but decided she couldn't make it.
 
Omegasquash said:
"Hey, nice seeing you again."

Is a great greeting.

"Tonight was fun. I'd love to connect with you later on...could I get your number?"

Is a great (dissect this for me if not GAF) closer.
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Eh, how about asking for her Facebook instead?

I have no phone. Don't ask.
 
Cubsfan23 said:
You either move on or let her be the one who reschedules and does all the work. Use your gut on whether or not she is lying
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This is really all that needs to be said. Use your gut in these situations, guys.

Yes, the sick excuse is a very common way of flaking. The fact that she dropped it on you right before your date makes the likelihood of it being a flake even higher, but if she mentioned she'd like to reschedule, I'd be inclined to think that maybe she really is sick. Regardless, I'd reschedule and if she pulls anything like this again, move on.
 
Sealda said:
Well, she seems to be a bit nonchalant about the whole thing. However, i do not see why you should go the "protect your dignity" route. Just set up a time and give her a second chance.
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I'm not really trying to protect my dignity, but I do value my time and there's no point chasing someone if they're not interested. If she's really interested, she'll find a way to get together, if not, then she won't. I've already made my move, it's her turn. Nothing else I do at this point will matter if she's already made up her mind one way or another.

Zomba13 said:
Is it better to get notified of 'sickness' earlier? Like, I was woken up by a text saying she was sick this morning and we were talking about where we'd meet last night. She said she was looking forward to it and we'll need to reschedule when she is better.

No clue if she's lying or not though, sickness is the go to thing to get out of stuff.
It's best not to over-think it. I'll give her one more chance and if she flakes out on that one I'll be done with her.
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I feel that it shows a sense of consideration that's seemingly been lost in online dating. When I have something planned for a day, I plan my day around that event, and if that even gets cancelled, I'd like to be notified as soon as its reasonable because then I can salvage the rest of my day and change my plans. I don't like people cancelling hours before the set time. It just shows inconsideration on the other person's part.

bluebird said:
Maybe she was sick and was sleeping the whole day? Or was stuck at the doctors? If she rescheduled then you're good to go, and now have to wait. Looking too far into things like this is a fast track to undoing yourself. Wish her better and let her rest.

As for bolded, remember that not everyone is the same.
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Maybe, but she was on POF earlier during the day after I sent her a text about something. She should've probably seen it. As for the bolded, that's exactly what I did. Wished her well and let me know when she wants to meet up again.
Lone_Prodigy said:
People flake out all the time. Technology makes it easy: before cell phones, how would you tell someone you couldn't make it last-minute? You'd have to fake being sick, figure out what to say, etc. Nowadays, send a text, feel guilty for a minute, then move on.

Maybe she thought she was still well enough to go but decided she couldn't make it.
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Technology makes everything a lot less personal and easier when you can just view the other person as a non-person. They're an unknown identity, something you don't have a real tangible relationship with. It's kind of the problem with online dating to be honest. We see each other as value and attributes, not as people.
 
RawPower said:
Alright, I'm ready.

I was at a show a few nights ago and there was a girl that caught my eye. Unfortunately, music was already playing at that point so I just shrugged it off and watched the band play, while also moving around a lot (ADHD). Once we got outside (there was no back light, so it wasn't easy to tell who was who), I saw her talking to a few other people (one of them happens to be a buddy of mine) so I hopped in the conversation, introducing myself, cracking jokes, etc etc. It was all pretty much fine until everybody else left and I was alone with her. Not knowing what to do or say, I just copped out and said "I'm gonna go pee. Later". I would have asked for her number but I didn't want to come off as a creep. I approached her once again a little later, but it was really just a comment on the last band that played. It didn't really go anywhere, so I just left it at that.

I know I probably did a lot of shit wrong here, but go easy on me. Haha.
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How is being a socially awkward penguin and telling a girl you're going to pee after everyone leaves somehow less creepy than asking for her number. I highly doubt you're as opaque as you think you are and she knew she was being hit on. Go for the gusto.
 
Omegasquash said:
"Hey, nice seeing you again."

Is a great greeting.

"Tonight was fun. I'd love to connect with you later on...could I get your number?"

Is a great (dissect this for me if not GAF) closer.
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For starters you are asking her a question for her number which immediately gives her a yes/no option. You want to maximize your abilities by making the giving of her number to you almost mandatory. Although a "closer" is mostly worthless if your entire game up to that point was trash. The idea is to have her decide she wants to give you her number long before then.

Also the actual line sounds dry and boring.

Dating-Age looks like it needs me to return and get you people laid
 
So ive been going down on the girl ive been taking to and she absolutely loves it, but I never used to do it at all due to horrible experiences.

Any certain techniques I should try? Normally just go with one finger in and go up and down, side to side with my tongue on her clit. ive heard of doing the alphabet but thats about it.
 
brian said:
Is it even worth following up and trying to reschedule if a girl tells you she's sick? Or is that known as a universal sign that she's bailing for good?
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I have seen that happen and it goes both ways, so do not take that as a universal bad sign. Also don't take "I'm busy" as a universal bad sign either, especially if it's a week or two before final exams
 
TheSchwab_7 said:
So ive been going down on the girl ive been taking to and she absolutely loves it, but I never used to do it at all due to horrible experiences.

Any certain techniques I should try? Normally just go with one finger in and go up and down, side to side with my tongue on her clit. ive heard of doing the alphabet but thats about it.
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Try two fingers in a "come here" motion.

As for the tongue, tease it a lot around the lips, and for the first time you lick it, start slowly from the bottom, all the way up to the clit. Lick the clit up and down at different pressures, and see what she likes. You can even suck on the clit, gently pulling it with your lips.

Don't be affraid to tell her to tell YOU how she likes it best.
 
TheSchwab_7 said:
So ive been going down on the girl ive been taking to and she absolutely loves it, but I never used to do it at all due to horrible experiences.

Any certain techniques I should try? Normally just go with one finger in and go up and down, side to side with my tongue on her clit. ive heard of doing the alphabet but thats about it.
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I generally stick with one finger because I find two kind of hard to control motion on her G-spot. Every girl is different but in general I will start by fingering her and making very small circles with my finger. Just to make sure I excite those nerve endings. From there I will try and locate the G-spot to the best of my abilities. Usually I find it pretty close to behind where her clit is and slightly to the left. The skin there feels a bit different and you can usually tell when you're on it. So I start giving that the most attention. Usually while I'm still in the phase of making circles and locating the spot I'm breathing heavy, hot breath on her lady stuff. If she is wearing underwear I'll leave them on at this point and sometimes even lightly rub my tongue against her with her underwear still on.

Eventually you'll move into the phase of trying to get her off. The best bet is to find a consistent rhythm. I find girls generally don't like change of pace nor motion all that much. I recommend not starting out immediately by going to town on her clit. Usually I'll start licking up and down the vulva. It kind of tastes bad but it comes (snicker) with the territory. From there I move onto licking the clit through the hood. If she is clean shaven it is no deal. If she has a somewhat thick landing strip prepare to pull hairs off your tongue. Again find a consistent motion and rhythm she likes. I find just going south to north works. Again make sure you're breathing out of your mouth heavy and hot and continue to finger focusing on the G-spot (but make sure to keep moving around.) Once I feel like this phase is over I then go down a bit more off the hood and make direct contact with the clit with my tongue. Keep your tongue well lubricated with saliva and find a consistant motion and rhythm. Keep it. If it appears like she is going to get off soon (ie: her vaginal muscles are contracting or if you know her well enough to know the proper sounds and build up) make sure to trooper through it. Your jaw will probably hurt afterwards but it'll be worth it. Again when she is obviously enjoying it do not change up the pace or motion. Wait for her to get off and then enjoy the complimentary blowjob.
 
Tenks said:
I generally stick with one finger because I find two kind of hard to control motion on her G-spot. Every girl is different but in general I will start by fingering her and making very small circles with my finger. Just to make sure I excite those nerve endings. From there I will try and locate the G-spot to the best of my abilities. Usually I find it pretty close to behind where her clit is and slightly to the left. The skin there feels a bit different and you can usually tell when you're on it. So I start giving that the most attention. Usually while I'm still in the phase of making circles and locating the spot I'm breathing heavy, hot breath on her lady stuff. If she is wearing underwear I'll leave them on at this point and sometimes even lightly rub my tongue against her with her underwear still on.

Eventually you'll move into the phase of trying to get her off. The best bet is to find a consistent rhythm. I find girls generally don't like change of pace nor motion all that much. I recommend not starting out immediately by going to town on her clit. Usually I'll start licking up and down the vulva. It kind of tastes bad but it comes (snicker) with the territory. From there I move onto licking the clit through the hood. If she is clean shaven it is no deal. If she has a somewhat thick landing strip prepare to pull hairs off your tongue. Again find a consistent motion and rhythm she likes. I find just going south to north works. Again make sure you're breathing out of your mouth heavy and hot and continue to finger focusing on the G-spot (but make sure to keep moving around.) Once I feel like this phase is over I then go down a bit more off the hood and make direct contact with the clit with my tongue. Keep your tongue well lubricated with saliva and find a consistant motion and rhythm. Keep it. If it appears like she is going to get off soon (ie: her vaginal muscles are contracting or if you know her well enough to know the proper sounds and build up) make sure to trooper through it. Your jaw will probably hurt afterwards but it'll be worth it. Again when she is obviously enjoying it do not change up the pace or motion. Wait for her to get off and then enjoy the complimentary blowjob.
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This is...

ridiculously accurate.
 
I'm driving myself crazy right now, and it's all due to my sleeplessness and stress from working full time while taking a full course load(17 credits) and working on transfer stuff, but it's kinda annoying me that I haven't talked to this girl today. I don't know why it's bothering me, but I do enjoy talking to her... And we've pretty much been talking pretty much every day for the last month and some days.

Yes I'm going crazy with something that's no big deal. I have a date with her friday night, and we're planning on seeing some broadway shows here soon, and she told me she wanted to perform some one act plays for me. but jesus christ, my sleeplessness and finals stress certainly isn't helping my already present anxiety problems..

Don't need help, just want a place to vent about how stupid I'm being...

:/
 
Tenks said:
I generally stick with one finger because I find two kind of hard to control motion on her G-spot. Every girl is different but in general I will start by fingering her and making very small circles with my finger. Just to make sure I excite those nerve endings. From there I will try and locate the G-spot to the best of my abilities. Usually I find it pretty close to behind where her clit is and slightly to the left. The skin there feels a bit different and you can usually tell when you're on it. So I start giving that the most attention. Usually while I'm still in the phase of making circles and locating the spot I'm breathing heavy, hot breath on her lady stuff. If she is wearing underwear I'll leave them on at this point and sometimes even lightly rub my tongue against her with her underwear still on.

Eventually you'll move into the phase of trying to get her off. The best bet is to find a consistent rhythm. I find girls generally don't like change of pace nor motion all that much. I recommend not starting out immediately by going to town on her clit. Usually I'll start licking up and down the vulva. It kind of tastes bad but it comes (snicker) with the territory. From there I move onto licking the clit through the hood. If she is clean shaven it is no deal. If she has a somewhat thick landing strip prepare to pull hairs off your tongue. Again find a consistent motion and rhythm she likes. I find just going south to north works. Again make sure you're breathing out of your mouth heavy and hot and continue to finger focusing on the G-spot (but make sure to keep moving around.) Once I feel like this phase is over I then go down a bit more off the hood and make direct contact with the clit with my tongue. Keep your tongue well lubricated with saliva and find a consistant motion and rhythm. Keep it. If it appears like she is going to get off soon (ie: her vaginal muscles are contracting or if you know her well enough to know the proper sounds and build up) make sure to trooper through it. Your jaw will probably hurt afterwards but it'll be worth it. Again when she is obviously enjoying it do not change up the pace or motion. Wait for her to get off and then enjoy the complimentary blowjob.
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Pretty much this. I too have found that most women are generally very receptive to a constant rhythm, similar to how you may get into one when you're kissing someone.

I would note that teasing her prior to you actually making contact with her clit is important as well. Kiss on her inner thighs and make her really want you.

Notrollious said:
I'm driving myself crazy right now, and it's all due to my sleeplessness and stress from working full time while taking a full course load(17 credits) and working on transfer stuff, but it's kinda annoying me that I haven't talked to this girl today. I don't know why it's bothering me, but I do enjoy talking to her... And we've pretty much been talking pretty much every day for the last month and some days.

Yes I'm going crazy with something that's no big deal. I have a date with her friday night, and we're planning on seeing some broadway shows here soon, and she told me she wanted to perform some one act plays for me. but jesus christ, my sleeplessness and finals stress certainly isn't helping my already present anxiety problems..

Don't need help, just want a place to vent about how stupid I'm being...

:/
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Relax, it's not you, she's probably had an equally busy day. Besides, whatever you don't talk about today you can save for in person.

I've been known to stress over minor things like this and I've always laughed at myself afterwards, you will too. You're fine.
 
Tenks said:
How is being a socially awkward penguin and telling a girl you're going to pee after everyone leaves somehow less creepy than asking for her number. I highly doubt you're as opaque as you think you are and she knew she was being hit on. Go for the gusto.
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It was a basically 4 or 5 people and I didn't pay her any particular attention. If she was creeped out (which is possible), I should probably just stay away.
 
Tenks said:
For starters you are asking her a question for her number which immediately gives her a yes/no option. You want to maximize your abilities by making the giving of her number to you almost mandatory. Although a "closer" is mostly worthless if your entire game up to that point was trash. The idea is to have her decide she wants to give you her number long before then.

Also the actual line sounds dry and boring.

Dating-Age looks like it needs me to return and get you people laid
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Could you clarify that please?
 
RawPower said:
Could you clarify that please?
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Sure. Basically you ask for the number in a manner that is not yes/no. Avoid saying stuff like "can I have your number" or "you could give me your number." It is late and I don't have any good examples off the top of my head on a proper canned line (generally I don't use canned stuff anyways) but it would be something along the lines of "I'm having a party Friday night. Give me your number and I'll call to let you know when it starts." The wrong way of delivering the same line would be "I'm having a party Friday night. Could you give me your number so I can call you to let you know when it starts?" or "I'm having a party Friday night. If you give me your number I can call you to let you know when it starts."


Again this line and delivery is far overshadowed by if the girl has already qualified you or disqualified you as someone they are interested in. I find if you have good openers and a few good conversation stacks the best closer is just saying you need to leave so they should give you their number and you'll call later this week to talk more.
 
So I just talked to the girlfriend...and I asked her how she was feeling about us. She said that she's having a huge independent streak and doesn't know what she wants. She get's back on Sunday, but we're not going to talk about it until June 1. I don't want to deal with a break up during the middle of final exams, those finish a week from Sunday, and then I go home for 2 weeks. When I get back we're going to figure shit out.

But based on what she said...combined with her earlier..."I love you but don't know if I'm in love with you" crap...I've accepted its over and I doubt I'm even going to try and convince her otherwise.

What's the best way to go about this situation?

Sorry to keep posting basically the same stuff...but it really is hard to accept and figure out what to do...I've been with her for four years, and up until a week ago when she brought all this up, I thought we were on the same page and I was going to propose to her by the end of the year or early next year. It's just very shocking, that's all.
 
lol June 1st.....cmon man should have broken up with her right then and there


her saying she is having a huge independent streak means she is screwing other guys or is about to. Sorry gotta be blunt.
 
zmoney said:
So I just talked to the girlfriend...and I asked her how she was feeling about us. She said that she's having a huge independent streak and doesn't know what she wants. She get's back on Sunday, but we're not going to talk about it until June 1. I don't want to deal with a break up during the middle of final exams, those finish a week from Sunday, and then I go home for 2 weeks. When I get back we're going to figure shit out.

But based on what she said...combined with her earlier..."I love you but don't know if I'm in love with you" crap...I've accepted its over and I doubt I'm even going to try and convince her otherwise.

What's the best way to go about this situation?

Sorry to keep posting basically the same stuff...but it really is hard to accept and figure out what to do...I've been with her for four years, and up until a week ago when she brought all this up, I thought we were on the same page and I was going to propose to her by the end of the year or early next year. It's just very shocking, that's all.
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I understand not wanting to deal with a breakup during final exams, but do you honestly believe holding this over your head until June 1st is any better?

I don't know man, seems almost worse.
 
zmoney said:
So I just talked to the girlfriend...and I asked her how she was feeling about us. She said that she's having a huge independent streak and doesn't know what she wants. She get's back on Sunday, but we're not going to talk about it until June 1. I don't want to deal with a break up during the middle of final exams, those finish a week from Sunday, and then I go home for 2 weeks. When I get back we're going to figure shit out.

But based on what she said...combined with her earlier..."I love you but don't know if I'm in love with you" crap...I've accepted its over and I doubt I'm even going to try and convince her otherwise.

What's the best way to go about this situation?

Sorry to keep posting basically the same stuff...but it really is hard to accept and figure out what to do...I've been with her for four years, and up until a week ago when she brought all this up, I thought we were on the same page and I was going to propose to her by the end of the year or early next year. It's just very shocking, that's all.
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Sucks, but in a way a good thing. If she wasn't the one for you, it's best you find out now and not post-marriage.

Have the talk, split like a man, get your independent life back together and look at the upsides:

-new women for you to meet
-time for yourself, your activities, your life with no compromises
-no one to be accountable to

I'm sorry about the lack of sympathy, and I know you deserve it, but the less time you spend dwelling on this relationship the better. You've got a whole life to live and the faster you heal the better.
 
You guys are right, I'll talk to her after finals and before I go home, that way if it's over then she can get her stuff out of the apartment by the time I get back.

Man, I can't even remember how to be single. How pathetic is that?
 
zmoney said:
You guys are right, I'll talk to her after finals and before I go home, that way if it's over then she can get her stuff out of the apartment by the time I get back.

Man, I can't even remember how to be single. How pathetic is that?
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Trust me, us single folk sure are having a heck of a time over here, yup, right guys? .....crickets
 
rkn said:
I don't know about you, but every night I get to sleep in a race car!
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RaAhBBk4Tino8v219sDqK2mOo1_500.jpg
 
Hylian7 said:
I have seen that happen and it goes both ways, so do not take that as a universal bad sign. Also don't take "I'm busy" as a universal bad sign either, especially if it's a week or two before final exams
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Yep sometimes there just so much work to do, that I try to get it all out of the way before seeing my GF. So that I dont have anything stressing me out, and so that I could just enjoy her. But sometimes this work is sooo soo much, and I end up spending only a day with her per week. Well thats untill she moves in. Im busy is not a bad sign.
 
brian said:
Is it even worth following up and trying to reschedule if a girl tells you she's sick? Or is that known as a universal sign that she's bailing for good?
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If she says she is sick she might actually be sick.. I mean you dont want her to vomit in your mouth, or be rushing to the toilet every few minutes. You also dont want to catch a virus from her. Also girls have periods, in some cases it is intense and painfull so she might be feeling sick every month.

A universal sign would be.. well everytime you plan on going out something happens. In any case don't be too clingy, and on the other hand you dont want to show complete lack of interest, you want to hint that your interested in her (tease her, confuse her, get her asking questions to herself)
 
Tenks said:
Sure. Basically you ask for the number in a manner that is not yes/no. Avoid saying stuff like "can I have your number" or "you could give me your number." It is late and I don't have any good examples off the top of my head on a proper canned line (generally I don't use canned stuff anyways) but it would be something along the lines of "I'm having a party Friday night. Give me your number and I'll call to let you know when it starts." The wrong way of delivering the same line would be "I'm having a party Friday night. Could you give me your number so I can call you to let you know when it starts?" or "I'm having a party Friday night. If you give me your number I can call you to let you know when it starts."


Again this line and delivery is far overshadowed by if the girl has already qualified you or disqualified you as someone they are interested in. I find if you have good openers and a few good conversation stacks the best closer is just saying you need to leave so they should give you their number and you'll call later this week to talk more.
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The thing is, I don't really have any parties planned. So if I see her again and I leave, I just go "I gotta go, give me your number"?
 
Nilaul said:
If she says she is sick she might actually be sick.. I mean you dont want her to vomit in your mouth, or be rushing to the toilet every few minutes. You also dont want to catch a virus from her. Also girls have periods, in some cases it is intense and painfull so she might be feeling sick every month.

A universal sign would be.. well everytime you plan on going out something happens. In any case don't be too clingy, and on the other hand you dont want to show complete lack of interest, you want to hint that your interested in her (tease her, confuse her, get her asking questions to herself)
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Yeah saying "I'm sick" is often a clue for "I just got my period and I'm cramping." But who the hell wants to say the latter to a stranger?
 
Haha, it's funny when you have one of those days when your swag is on full, and you happen to meet girls who are totally receptive to it. Some of my friends were baffled to find out I actually know how to spit game at girls.

Got a cutie's number too, but honestly I'm not too hopefully about it (since girls hand out #s like candy). I'm more happy at just how the day went...was a good pick-me-up to know I am in fact not a loser who can't talk to girls, but just a guy who seems to be stuck in a rut in not finding a girl who's attracted to him.
 
RawPower said:
Alright, I'm ready.

I was at a show a few nights ago and there was a girl that caught my eye. Unfortunately, music was already playing at that point so I just shrugged it off and watched the band play, while also moving around a lot (ADHD). Once we got outside (there was no back light, so it wasn't easy to tell who was who), I saw her talking to a few other people (one of them happens to be a buddy of mine) so I hopped in the conversation, introducing myself, cracking jokes, etc etc. It was all pretty much fine until everybody else left and I was alone with her. Not knowing what to do or say, I just copped out and said "I'm gonna go pee. Later". I would have asked for her number but I didn't want to come off as a creep. I approached her once again a little later, but it was really just a comment on the last band that played. It didn't really go anywhere, so I just left it at that.

I know I probably did a lot of shit wrong here, but go easy on me. Haha.
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This way of thinking is poison to you. Please please please stop putting yourself down. The act of asking a girl for her number is not creepy unless you assumed you were coming off as one. Which begs the question: why would you make that assumption? Because you two were alone? If you asked for her number right away, without making any sort of connection, worst case scenario is that she says no. THAT'S IT. And even in that case, you could've easily turned it around because you two already shared a common interest (the show). You had no problem talking about the bands you were into when you met me, how would that be any different from talking to her about it? In fact, there's no doubt in my mind that she knows much more about the punk world than I do. It would've been much easier for you to talk to her than to me.

RawPower said:
Eh, how about asking for her Facebook instead?

I have no phone. Don't ask.
Click to expand...

I know you're in an odd situation but don't ask for her facebook. Ask for her number. Period. You have to get a phone. There's no way around it and right from the time of the new york meetup I told you there is no shame in taking a part time job while you sort yourself out. You don't to be rich to impress girls but no women will want to do anything with a guy who can't take care of basic necessities like paying bills. You're on your way to improving yourself. Don't stop working on yourself. Do stop putting yourself down.
 
ook i'm confused. i usually don't have problems getting girls. i can talk to them, have fun with them, etc.

but now i met this girl. i really like her... but she is older than me. and i have no idea WHY is making everything so complicated in my head.

ok, she is 28 and i'm 25. i always dated/been with girls younger than me (well except two, but i didn't do anything to "have" them).


so i'm thinking... if i like her, should i be more straightforward?. does she wants to "waste" our time with innocent flirting?. i usually do that, flirt with the girls, make them know i like them, play a little bit a bang. but know i'm not sure how to act.
besides i can't really "read" her... i mean, yes, we talked, laugh a little. we got together a few times outside of work (trips and dinners) but always with friends.
i'm pretty sure she shoulkd know i like her.


and the worst, i already started to play my usual game and i'm nervous thinking that it might not work... and i don't wanna blow it up.

ok, i have to resolve this. it's good experience. if it doesn't work it will the next time. i have to learn.i can do it. but i don't know WHAT to do. argh..


sorry for the "typingwhatithinkwithoutmakingreadableforothers" stuff
 
Soo.. there's this girl. A whiiile ago on facebook, she messaged me "i really miss you can we please hang out soon".

I told her we would chill soon.

Like the funking idiot I am, I made a promise and didn't keep it. My excuse to why that happened is, I'm struggling to graduate from highschool (I'm 20) and I didn't have any balance in my life during highschool (going out with friends, partying). Now the opposite has happened :(
I don't see my friends or have fun. (I used to blame my parents that they didn't want me to have fun, but I've finally accepted that it' my own fault and they are just looking out for me, they never ever didn't want me to not have fun, just wanted me to pass HS and move on with life).

Flashfoward to 2 weeks ago, I sent her a happy 4/20 text ( Don't judge me! >.<)
She replies "Happy pot head idiot day, I miss u"

We texted back an forth a bit about life and whatnot. Then I asked her what she was doing today (4/21). She said she was working and that she will text me soon. She didn't. I'm assuming it was because what I did, I don't hold anything against her, who wouldn't be mad when someone doesn't hold a promise to them..

I don't know what to do. I've made progress on my course work and am feeling like I deserve to have some fun and chillout.. I want to hang out with her but I don't know if she wants to hang out with me anymore. I asked my older sister what to do and she said just give her some time and when you have some school work done you should kick it. Well, I've done a good amount of work, preparing to write my second module test. After I write it, I want to hang out with her. I don't know if it's been long enough though, I don't want to upset her more. After my test should I try texting her?
Any insight would be appreciated, thanks.
 
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