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[Izick]

Also, I'd just like to say I've been down this road before in the past. I can't count the number of times I decided I was going to change something in attempt to finally become attractive, but no matter what I seemed to improve or change, the lack of attraction appeared to be the same. So now, it is basically a simple math problem. If I have changed all these things in my life, and still find myself unsuccessful with this, what can I account it to then? Well, physical appearance seems to be the problem, but since I am, or at least was a few weeks ago, working out on a daily basis and am in shape, then it must be due to lack of facial attractiveness.

My face has been nearly the only constant I can think of during this whole time, and odds are if it's the only thing, then it's the problem. I mean, if you change nearly everything else, then what do you really have left to do?

 

[Dies Iræ]

Also, I'd just like to say I've been down this road before in the past. I can't count the number of times I decided I was going to change something in attempt to finally become attractive, but no matter what I seemed to improve or change, the lack of attraction appeared to be the same. So now, it is basically a simple math problem. If I have changed all these things in my life, and still find myself unsuccessful with this, what can I account it to then? Well, physical appearance seems to be the problem, but since I am, or at least was a few weeks ago, working out on a daily basis and am in shape, then it must be due to lack of facial attractiveness.

My face has been nearly the only constant I can think of during this whole time, and odds are if it's the only thing, then it's the problem. I mean, if you change nearly everything else, then what do you really have left to do?

1. Be happy.
2. Make others feel happy.

If you achieve these two things, then under normal circumstances (i.e. you bathe regularly, etc.) people will be attracted to you. It's that simple. #1 usually comes first.

 

[Izick]

1. Be happy.
2. Make others feel happy.

If you achieve these two things, then under normal circumstances (i.e. you bathe regularly, etc.) people will be attracted to you. It's that simple. #1 usually comes first.

It's not simple though. Just "being happy" isn't simple, and making others be happy isn't necessarily going to lead for success. That would mean that all or any of the women I've been friends with over the years would be interested in me, and trust me, that is definitely not the case.

 

[Dies Iræ]

It's not simple though. Just "being happy" isn't simple, and making others be happy isn't necessarily going to lead for success. That would mean that all or any of the women I've been friends with over the years would be interested in me, and trust me, that is definitely not the case.

OK, let me clarify.

I was talking about how to attract people - for a romantic or platonic relationship - and gave two suggestions: be happy with yourself, and make others happy too. That's the core foundation of any healthy relationship and sending out positive vibes is the only way to make it happen (Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity).

I never claimed that being happy is simple (it's a winding road!) or that making someone happy will make them romantically interested in you (that's broken "friendzone" logic). If you want a happy and healthy romantic relationship, focus on improving yourself, having great friendships, and it will come naturally.

Edit: In other words, I'm suggesting that you spend time making changes that make you happy, rather than making changes to make other (hypothetical) people happy.

 

[Slycoopr]

Also, I'd just like to say I've been down this road before in the past. I can't count the number of times I decided I was going to change something in attempt to finally become attractive, but no matter what I seemed to improve or change, the lack of attraction appeared to be the same. So now, it is basically a simple math problem. If I have changed all these things in my life, and still find myself unsuccessful with this, what can I account it to then? Well, physical appearance seems to be the problem, but since I am, or at least was a few weeks ago, working out on a daily basis and am in shape, then it must be due to lack of facial attractiveness.

My face has been nearly the only constant I can think of during this whole time, and odds are if it's the only thing, then it's the problem. I mean, if you change nearly everything else, then what do you really have left to do?

Do you have any facial disfigurements that make you feel hopeless? You say you're in shape, so when you approach women, aren't you at least confident in your body? Maybe change up your fashion style to something you find makes you more attractive. The way you perceive yourself matters tons. If you approach a girl with a positive, fun attitude, and have confidence in the way you look and your personality, they'll eat that up.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

You said that we should form a melodramatic Rock Band.

Yes. Girls love the dark, emotional lyrics. Shows that you're deep. I'm not calling you melodramatic. But you should form a melodramatic rock band. Girls will be like "He's so moody and deep and singing about really dark and deep stuff. I want him."

Alright, I'll work on getting a band together. You know it only works if your band is famous though. That could take years.

Worth it.

 

[ianp622]

Also, I'd just like to say I've been down this road before in the past. I can't count the number of times I decided I was going to change something in attempt to finally become attractive, but no matter what I seemed to improve or change, the lack of attraction appeared to be the same. So now, it is basically a simple math problem. If I have changed all these things in my life, and still find myself unsuccessful with this, what can I account it to then? Well, physical appearance seems to be the problem, but since I am, or at least was a few weeks ago, working out on a daily basis and am in shape, then it must be due to lack of facial attractiveness.

My face has been nearly the only constant I can think of during this whole time, and odds are if it's the only thing, then it's the problem. I mean, if you change nearly everything else, then what do you really have left to do?

Luck is always a factor. I was a virgin and hadn't gone on a single date until I was 22. Then I changed both of those things in a single night.

Also, I didn't answer you before about your picture on online dating sites. If you're really worried about presenting a bad image, use two or more pictures - one from your side and one from the front. I have a strange nose too, but nobody has ever said anything about it.

 

[Izick]

Do you have any facial disfigurements that make you feel hopeless? You say you're in shape, so when you approach women, aren't you at least confident in your body? Maybe change up your fashion style to something you find makes you more attractive. The way you perceive yourself matters tons. If you approach a girl with a positive, fun attitude, and have confidence in the way you look and your personality, they'll eat that up.

Technically, no, I don't have a facial disfigurement. I like the style that I have, as I feel I look good in the clothes I wear, I'm not even sure what I would change to make myself look better in that respect.

I understand the idea behind it, but simply being positive and confident isn't going to work. At least it hasn't in the past. As for the way I perceive myself, I'm not sure how I can change that right now.

Luck is always a factor. I was a virgin and hadn't gone on a single date until I was 22. Then I changed both of those things in a single night.

Also, I didn't answer you before about your picture on online dating sites. If you're really worried about presenting a bad image, use two or more pictures - one from your side and one from the front. I have a strange nose too, but nobody has ever said anything about it.

Luck is a factor? Well then I'm definitely fucked.

Yeah, I suppose I could do that if I ever tried online. Still not sure I'd feel okay about it though.

 

[Klyka]

Post a picture, we'll tell you that you're alright.

 

[Izick]

Post a picture, we'll tell you that you're alright.

What if I were truly ugly to you and others though?

 

[Smelly Tramp]

so i think i'm over her now. been truly happy this past week.

just been going out and having a good time.

 

[Sarye]

Post a picture, we'll tell you that you're alright.

He's not going to post a picture. He must have been asked countless times even through PM. He even dodged questions about his age.

Izick, I don't know why you think looks are such a factor when if you were to look around you'll see countless number of guys with a large nose or fat or "ugly" and still be married or be in relationships. heck my cousin has a huge nose and is married to a beautiful lady. You never know unless you try and no you didn't try because you have said right in your own post, that you have approached ZERO women. ZERO

You put a LOT of emphasis on the signs women give. When I first met my gf, she gave me no signs. No twirling of the hair, no physical contact, short one or two word answers. Turns out she was just really shy. If I took your approach, and didn't even ASK her out then we wouldn't be together. It would have reinforced my idea that I am unwanted.

I have been rejected many times. It doesn't come easy. No one will tell you that it's easy. But you have to put yourself out there. You have to make your intentions known. If you don't, how will they know?

 

[Minamu]

What if I were truly ugly to you and others though?

HarrisonFordSayingWhoGivesAShit.gif I believe I look really ugly with a skinny body. I literally cringe whenever I see myself in a mirror. I don't let it stop myself from having fun in life though.

 

[Izick]

He's not going to post a picture. He must have been asked countless times even through PM. He even dodged questions about his age.

Izick, I don't know why you think looks are such a factor when if you were to look around you'll see countless number of guys with a large nose or fat or "ugly" and still be married or be in relationships. heck my cousin has a huge nose and is married to a beautiful lady. You never know unless you try and no you didn't try because you have said right in your own post, that you have approached ZERO women. ZERO

You put a LOT of emphasis on the signs women give. When I first met my gf, she gave me no signs. No twirling of the hair, no physical contact, short one or two word answers. Turns out she was just really shy. If I took your approach, and didn't even ASK her out then we wouldn't be together. It would have reinforced my idea that I am unwanted.

I have been rejected many times. It doesn't come easy. No one will tell you that it's easy. But you have to put yourself out there. You have to make your intentions known. If you don't, how will they know?

You make good points. I guess I'm just worried about when the time of rejection eventually comes. I know it's probably not going to be as bad as I think, but I'm just not a fan of putting all of my dignity and ego into another's hands like that. I guess you have to though...no really getting around that. Not sure where to go from here about it though.

HarrisonFordSayingWhoGivesAShit.gif I believe I look really ugly with a skinny body. I literally cringe whenever I see myself in a mirror. I don't let it stop myself from having fun in life though.

I mean...I don't think I'd care that I'm ugly if others didn't see me that way. I'm not a hundred percent sure about that, but I think I wouldn't care if that'd be the case.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

come on Izick don't be scared

 

[Izick]

come on Izick don't be scared

I can't help it though. This stuff always runs through my head whenever I see someone I'm interested in, so it coming into actuality makes me a bit "scared" I guess you could say.

 

[Klyka]

What if I were truly ugly to you and others though?

Look, I'd give you my honest opinion because we are two total strangers on the Internet and I don't need to pull any punches here. No one does.
So you know what, here's a pic of me doing a really dumb expression and looking super stupid:

If I can post a shitty pic like that for everyone to mock, I'm sure you can put yourself out here and get some honest opinions.

 

[Minamu]

Rejection is just really rejection of the particular "method" used, not your personality. How can they reject something they've barely seen? And there's not any anxiety in having a giving attitude. If you desire a special kind of outcome, that's when you become nervous and scared. So stop needing that to happen!

 

[MutantCyborg]

I've been dating this girl for the past 2, almost 3 months. Everything is going great and we are always hanging out together. We get along fine and can talk to each other about everything. She is a party girl who likes to drink with her cousins and their friends, I personally don't like getting drunk so I usually don't hang out with them. Now I don't have a problem with her drinking, I have a problem with her smoking weed while shes there.

She called me this morning apologizing profusely. She ended up smoking a lot last night.


Am I in the wrong here? Should I really care if she smokes once a week? I think the thing making me hate weed is my past and even her past with drugs. I told her I was mad, but it was nothing worth fighting over... Am I wrong?

 

[Smelly Tramp]

I've been dating this girl for the past 2, almost 3 months. Everything is going great and we are always hanging out together. We get along fine and can talk to each other about everything. She is a party girl who likes to drink with her cousins and their friends, I personally don't like getting drunk so I usually don't hang out with them. Now I don't have a problem with her drinking, I have a problem with her smoking weed while shes there.

She called me this morning apologizing profusely. She ended up smoking a lot last night.


Am I in the wrong here? Should I really care if she smokes once a week? I think the thing making me hate weed is my past and even her past with drugs. I told her I was mad, but it was nothing worth fighting over... Am I wrong?

so what if she likes getting drunk and stoned. as long as it isn't detrimental to other areas of her life (job, looks, education, getting with other blokes) then it doesn't matter. and if you keep on judging her you'll look like a controlling guy who's always viewed as lame.

 

[Izick]

Look, I'd give you my honest opinion because we are two total strangers on the Internet and I don't need to pull any punches here. No one does.
So you know what, here's a pic of me doing a really dumb expression and looking super stupid:

If I can post a shitty pic like that for everyone to mock, I'm sure you can put yourself out here and get some honest opinions.

I'm sorry, I'm just a little hesitant to the idea. I'd be worried someone that knows me would see me, and then that would tie me to all these posts that I have made, that I've never said anything about to people I actually know in real life.

Rejection is just really rejection of the particular "method" used, not your personality. How can they reject something they've barely seen? And there's anxiety in having a giving attitude. If you desire a special kind of outcome, that's when you become nervous and scared. So stop needing that to happen!

I guess so, I'd be happy for any kind of positive outcome, but I don't expect it.
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I just don't get how all you people can be so positive. People that I'm friends with in life are like that too. Just completely positive all the time about things that are clearly not things they should be positive about. For example, I remember my best friend and I would always go to the gym together, and there was always this girl there, beautiful girl, probably one of the most beautiful girls I've seen in my life, but I digress. Anyway, I told him I thought she was super-hot, and he said she looked pretty good he thought, so then weeks would go on, months, he'd nudge me to go talk to her and I refused, obviously. Anyway, eventually one day we finished up, and later on I learned that he went and talked to her. He told her about me, that I liked her, and I guess that she said she had a boyfriend. Even with this news, which I really didn't need to hear, he tried to keep spinning, and spinning; he kept saying "yeah but she was really interested when I asked her," or "she sounded like she was pissed she had a boyfriend," basically all shit. Shit that's not true. I don't need to lie to myself, I don't need that. And not to mention anytime going to the gym while she was there was awkward as fuck from that point on.

I guess I'm just not an optimist like that.

 

[MutantCyborg]

so what if she likes getting drunk and stoned. as long as it isn't detrimental to other areas of her life (job, looks, education, getting with other blokes) then it doesn't matter. and if you keep on judging her you'll look like a controlling guy who's always viewed as lame.

The thing is this is the ONLY thing I controlling about. As I said I have no problem with her drinking, that doesn't affect me one bit...

I honestly think its just her past with drugs that is making me dislike it more.

 

[LosDaddie]

Izick, seriously dude....you may need to stop posting on GAF, or the internet in general, for while. YOu sound like you need a break. Like someone else said, you are beginning to sound like Combine....just a perpetual pattern of self-pity, and self-hate.

The thing is this is the ONLY thing I controlling about.

You can't control anyone. It's one of those facts you need to realize before any relationship you're in can be successful.

You can talk to her about your dislike of MJ. You can tell her you don't want her doing it. But ultimately, it's her decision. If the weed is that much of a problem to you/your relationship, then give her an ultimatum...which I don't recommend. But hey, if you feel that strongly about it, then go ahead.

 

[Chinner]

maybe you're an elaborate troll, if not, you need to really take a step back from dating and concentrate on working on yourself for a good while.

 

[Izick]

Izick, seriously dude....you may need to stop posting on GAF, or the internet in general, for while. YOu sound like you need a break. Like someone else said, you are beginning to sound like Combine....just a perpetual pattern of self-pity, and self-hate.

Why would that help? Then I would just basically have to keep all this shit to myself completely instead of at least getting some satisfaction of talking about it with others. I don't think a break from Gaf is going to stop me from feeling the way I do.

maybe you're an elaborate troll, if not, you need to really take a step back from dating and concentrate on working on yourself for a good while.

Me?

 

[The Orange]

http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction-dating/cupid-on-trial-a-4-month-online-dating-experiment/

I don't know if it's been posted yet, but a nicely presented experiment on online dating. Not a user of dating sites personally, but it reminded me of a bunch of posts in this thread and their experience at online dating, so have fun reading.

 

[Tenks]

Why would that help? Then I would just basically have to keep all this shit to myself completely instead of at least getting some satisfaction of talking about it with others. I don't think a break from Gaf is going to stop me from feeling the way I do.

Personally I know when I'm feeling down or depressed the internet is the worst antidote

 

[Seguin]

http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction-dating/cupid-on-trial-a-4-month-online-dating-experiment/

I don't know if it's been posted yet, but a nicely presented experiment on online dating. Not a user of dating sites personally, but it reminded me of a bunch of posts in this thread and their experience at online dating, so have fun reading.

Ground breaking research! Cute girls get crazy amounts of attention on dating websites, and even a "meh" looking girl will get as many messages as a good looking dude.

And if you're not a good looking dude you're fucked.

Personally I know when I'm feeling down or depressed the internet is the worst antidote

Yea but then how will I masturbate?

 

[Vermillion]

Personally I know when I'm feeling down or depressed the internet is the worst antidote

Meh, I find something to laugh about. When I'm depressed, my mind is its own worst enemy. So I sleep it off of find something funny. Mostly the former if I can.

 

[MutantCyborg]

You can't control anyone. It's one of those facts you need to realize before any relationship you're in can be successful.

You can talk to her about your dislike of MJ. You can tell her you don't want her doing it. But ultimately, it's her decision. If the weed is that much of a problem to you/your relationship, then give her an ultimatum...which I don't recommend. But hey, if you feel that strongly about it, then go ahead.

I never told her she couldn't. She just knows I don't like it. Then to call me and apologize to me. I guess it should mean something to me that she apologized.

 

[The Antitype]

No go with that chick afterall.

She got antsy about things again, said she wasn't sure if I was her type, I said ok and deleted her number. She's cute, but not worth walking on egg-shells for.

Onwards!

 

[Izick]

Personally I know when I'm feeling down or depressed the internet is the worst antidote

I guess not, but I haven't really been interested in doing anything else lately. I haven't been playing games because they just don't hold my attention like they used to; my mind usually drifts off to places now, and after my injury, which I'm still not sure how bad it is, I haven't been working out, nor am I sure when/if I will return to doing that.

It kind of just all sucks right now.

 

[The Antitype]

You're not depressed until even masturbation loses its fun.

Been there.

 

[Omegasquash]

I guess not, but I haven't really been interested in doing anything else lately. I haven't been playing games because they just don't hold my attention like they used to; my mind usually drifts off to places now, and after my injury, which I'm still not sure how bad it is, I haven't been working out, nor am I sure when/if I will return to doing that.

It kind of just all sucks right now.

Take a break, then. Take time to look at yourself, take time to talk to someone (if you feel like there's any benefit in it at all). Doesn't make sense to walk over coals if you don't A) know how to or B) don't have the confidence to do it, even if there's a pot of gold and attractive women on the other side.

While you'll never get there until you walk it, getting yourself right mentally could be the first step, so don't be afraid to take a break, reassess and so forth. This thread is here with solid advice (probably none moreso than the first few posts), but you do need to be in the right place. So do what you need to do to get there. It sounds like you know where "there" is, so there's a goal. Can't work toward something if you don't have a goal, right?

 

[Izick]

Take a break, then. Take time to look at yourself, take time to talk to someone (if you feel like there's any benefit in it at all). Doesn't make sense to walk over coals if you don't A) know how to or B) don't have the confidence to do it, even if there's a pot of gold and attractive women on the other side.

While you'll never get there until you walk it, getting yourself right mentally could be the first step, so don't be afraid to take a break, reassess and so forth. This thread is here with solid advice (probably none moreso than the first few posts), but you do need to be in the right place. So do what you need to do to get there. It sounds like you know where "there" is, so there's a goal. Can't work toward something if you don't have a goal, right?

I guess so, I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of trying and work for something that hasn't manifested itself in the slightest way. It's just fucking tiring.

 

[Klyka]

The worst thing you can do when you feel you have no luck with women, is to focus entirely on you not having luck with women.
I see this EVERYWHEEEEEERE. Everyone is so damn focused on this, always thinking about it, working for it, living for it. I didn't meet my girlfriend because I was spending every minute of my time trying to meet someone. I lived my life and enjoyed myself, doing what I find fun. Sure sometimes I got sad because I was alone, but that didn't last weeks, months or years. There's a time to be sad and there's a time where you just do other stuff.
Seriously, If I think back at the last years and imagine me moping about how single and alone I am, man those would have been some shitty fucking years.

 

[Chinner]

wheres log4girlz? i desire to communicate to them over the internet regarding subjects of interest.

 

[Omegasquash]

I guess so, I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of trying and work for something that hasn't manifested itself in the slightest way. It's just fucking tiring.

Understood...not getting what you want can get you down. Feel free to step back for a bit, recover from your injury...it's summertime, man. Assuming that you either don't have classes or the workload has decreased, take a day and, I dunno, hit a beach, go to a place you've thought you wanted to go, whatever. Just do something that you've wanted to. Just don't do a staycation. Same environments, yo. Shit gets stale.

That said, I'm going to really suggest talking to a therapist. Not liking what you usually like is a classic sign of depression, and there's no one more powerful thing that can fuck up your confidence than that. It helps, man. Lots of us here have walked that walk and come out on the other side with some killer management techniques. Don't be afraid of working on it.

 

[Izick]

I'm tired of seeing girls I like, and that I connect with on a personal level, and then I don't have the guts to even try and attempt to do anything from there. I'm tired of seeing fucking idiots, assholes, and douchebags get with smart, attractive women because they are some dumb fucking pretty boy asshat. And it's not like it's really the woman's fault at all, because if I'm not attractive, then I'm not attractive, but that doesn't change the fact that it's frustrating as hell to do this shit every single fucking day, over and over again like some shitty movie or something and see the same fucking ending over and over.

It's like back when you were in school and trying to do a math problem. but you didn't really understand what you were doing wrong. You keep plugging shit in, in hopes that something works, but nope, let's try this, and this, and that, nope, nope, fuck you, nope.

Understood...not getting what you want can get you down. Feel free to step back for a bit, recover from your injury...it's summertime, man. Assuming that you either don't have classes or the workload has decreased, take a day and, I dunno, hit a beach, go to a place you've thought you wanted to go, whatever. Just do something that you've wanted to. Just don't do a staycation. Same environments, yo. Shit gets stale.

That said, I'm going to really suggest talking to a therapist. Not liking what you usually like is a classic sign of depression, and there's no one more powerful thing that can fuck up your confidence than that. It helps, man. Lots of us here have walked that walk and come out on the other side with some killer management techniques. Don't be afraid of working on it.

The doctor said it's not a serious thing, but it's always going to be there, so it's not some kind of pulled muscle or something. My friends tell me I should be happy it's not anything serious, but I'm still upset about it, especially if I'm going to have on and off pain there for the rest of my life.

It's like, all I had before was my fitness. And now that's gone and basically all fucking gone now. I can probably start working out again, but what's the fucking point anymore?

 

[The Orange]

Ground breaking research! Cute girls get crazy amounts of attention on dating websites, and even a "meh" looking girl will get as many messages as a good looking dude.

And if you're not a good looking dude you're fucked.

The most relevant piece for Dating-Age is that even the guys who think they send original messages, end up sending the same original message as 200 other guys. Considering the amount of guys on here complaining about not getting a response, I think it's a valid point of info.

 

[Omegasquash]

The worst thing you can do when you feel you have no luck with women, is to focus entirely on you not having luck with women.
I see this EVERYWHEEEEEERE. Everyone is so damn focused on this, always thinking about it, working for it, living for it. I didn't meet my girlfriend because I was spending every minute of my time trying to meet someone. I lived my life and enjoyed myself, doing what I find fun. Sure sometimes I got sad because I was alone, but that didn't last weeks, months or years. There's a time to be sad and there's a time where you just do other stuff.
Seriously, If I think back at the last years and imagine me moping about how single and alone I am, man those would have been some shitty fucking years.

placebrofisthere.jpg

I didn't have a girlfriend in high school and for a few years of college. It's when I stopped worrying about picking up chicks or getting that hookup that the floodgates opened. A few escapades in college, one three year relationship and meeting the love of my life later, I look back on those mopey years and realize that I was doing it wrong.

 

[Log4Girlz]

I was looking for apartments. Still single.

You're not depressed until even masturbation loses its fun.

Been there.

Goddammit.

 

[Chinner]

I was looking for apartments. Still single.

bro me and that escort kissed hows them pineapples for you

 

[Log4Girlz]

bro me and that escort kissed hows them pineapples for you

I'm jealous. How much is she charging for kisses? I need to start saving up.

 

[LosDaddie]

Why would that help?

Because GAF isn't going to actually help you get out of your funk. That is all up to you. GAF has given you, just like Combine, all the advice it can offer, and your response thus far has basically been "meh...that doesn't work for me".

Maybe the Depression thread is a better place for you than this Dating thread.

I never told her she couldn't. She just knows I don't like it. Then to call me and apologize to me. I guess it should mean something to me that she apologized.

Then "controlling" was the wrong word to use there. But my point still remains about controlling another person. It's not possible.

So go ahead and keep talking to her about the weed use, but it will be her decision to stop smoking. This situation is akin to ladies wanting to date a "bad boy" because they think they can change him for the good. Almost never happens.

 

[Shagwell]

Couple of days back I made these two posts in this thread. Despite her telling me she's got feelings for me, and saying she wants to kiss me and what not again, and trying to make plans to hang out with me, I haven't done more than hug her since last week. We talk, we hang out after class, she comes over, and it all goes swimmingly and I think the both of us might actually have something for each other, but the fact that I've landed this beautiful, genuinely kind, interesting girl hasn't given me more confidence - it's making me more and more nervous.

Don't get me wrong. I don't (think I) have much issues when it comes to approaching girls and getting with them. In fact, 2012 has been my best year thus far with the ladies and I've gotten numerous dates, numbers, and lays. But that was easy because I didn't feel anything. Now, for the first time in what feels like ages, I do. I think about this girl a lot, find myself always wanting to be around her, or at least talking to her in some way. And it isn't as if I'm hanging around the house surfing the internet and missing her - this is happening when I'm out at a party, or at the bars, or just getting high with a bunch of the boys. Hell, even playing soccer she manages to slip into my mind for a few seconds.

I'm not sure what advice I'm really looking for. Mainly I think I'm looking for some guidance, because the first time I asked for advice on here it led to one of the best nights of my life. I don't think either of us are looking for an actual boyfriend/girlfriend type deal right now. But I'm positive she isn't seeing/talking to another guy right now, and I've been blowing off the girls talking to me lately. I'm traveling in about 8 days time for a trip to Turkey and later the middle east with my friends for a month and so, naturally, I won't see her. And when I return stateside I'll be in NYC and she'll be in her hometown 7 hours away.

What sort of move do I make here? I don't want to lose her or us, and I think that if, whatever this is, can last through the month I'm gone we're going to have something really solid and worthwhile to continue upon. How do I avoid the nerves she's giving me despite being sure she's totally into me? How do I attempt to keep her from forgetting about me while I'm gone? And how can we somehow 'stay together' in the way that we have been lately without actually officially dating?

Sorry for the long-winded dilemma gaf but even the little piece of advice I received a week back led to a truly amazing encounter I'm not sure I'd have been capable of without the help of Dating-Age.

 

[Zomba13]

Greetings from the friend zone Dating-Age.




=/

 

[Omegasquash]

The doctor said it's not a serious thing, but it's always going to be there, so it's not some kind of pulled muscle or something. My friends tell me I should be happy it's not anything serious, but I'm still upset about it, especially if I'm going to have on and off pain there for the rest of my life.

It's like, all I had before was my fitness. And now that's gone and basically all fucking gone now. I can probably start working out again, but what's the fucking point anymore?

Dude, seriously. You're frustrated as shit, you sound like you're losing a lynchpin. Let it be the straw that breaks the camels back to motivate you to do something right. Talk to someone qualified to handle this stuff. Not an easy answer, but something I'd encourage you to explore.

 

[Izick]

Dude, seriously. You're frustrated as shit, you sound like you're losing a lynchpin. Let it be the straw that breaks the camels back to motivate you to do something right. Talk to someone qualified to handle this stuff. Not an easy answer, but something I'd encourage you to explore.

Why is everyone telling me that these days? Not just people on Gaf either. I don't really like the idea of "talking to someone else" about anything either, not really appealing to me, and I'm just not really fond of the notion.

 

[Omegasquash]

Couple of days back I made these two posts in this thread. Despite her telling me she's got feelings for me, and saying she wants to kiss me and what not again, and trying to make plans to hang out with me, I haven't done more than hug her since last week. We talk, we hang out after class, she comes over, and it all goes swimmingly and I think the both of us might actually have something for each other, but the fact that I've landed this beautiful, genuinely kind, interesting girl hasn't given me more confidence - it's making me more and more nervous.

Don't get me wrong. I don't (think I) have much issues when it comes to approaching girls and getting with them. In fact, 2012 has been my best year thus far with the ladies and I've gotten numerous dates, numbers, and lays. But that was easy because I didn't feel anything. Now, for the first time in what feels like ages, I do. I think about this girl a lot, find myself always wanting to be around her, or at least talking to her in some way. And it isn't as if I'm hanging around the house surfing the internet and missing her - this is happening when I'm out at a party, or at the bars, or just getting high with a bunch of the boys. Hell, even playing soccer she manages to slip into my mind for a few seconds.

I'm not sure what advice I'm really looking for. Mainly I think I'm looking for some guidance, because the first time I asked for advice on here it led to one of the best nights of my life. I don't think either of us are looking for an actual boyfriend/girlfriend type deal right now. But I'm positive she isn't seeing/talking to another guy right now, and I've been blowing off the girls talking to me lately. I'm traveling in about 8 days time for a trip to Turkey and later the middle east with my friends for a month and so, naturally, I won't see her. And when I return stateside I'll be in NYC and she'll be in her hometown 7 hours away.

What sort of move do I make here? I don't want to lose her or us, and I think that if, whatever this is, can last through the month I'm gone we're going to have something really solid and worthwhile to continue upon. How do I avoid the nerves she's giving me despite being sure she's totally into me? How do I attempt to keep her from forgetting about me while I'm gone? And how can we somehow 'stay together' in the way that we have been lately without actually officially dating?

Sorry for the long-winded dilemma gaf but even the little piece of advice I received a week back led to a truly amazing encounter I'm not sure I'd have been capable of without the help of Dating-Age.

Give her a real kiss, tell her how you feel, and let her know that even though you're traveling, you'd like to stay in contact and take her out on a date (be specific and clear, not like a "lol it's been awhile buddy" date but a 1:1 romantic experience for lack of a better phrase).

Seriously, you're not going to fall into a relationship, you'll plant yourself in her mind as numero uno (because putting yourself out there like that is kind of bold), and she's not going to have time to develop anything that you couldn't undercut in that amount of time. Not a 100% guarantee, but fuck it, what do you have to lose? You're not in a relationship yet, remember?