Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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Quick tip needed.
Originally had planned to go on a second date this friday. However, I decided to be spontaneous and asked her to grab lunch with me in an hour, which she loved. Our first date went well and at the end we made out for a couple of minutes. What's the kissing etiquette when meeting up for a second date in that case? Do I kiss her on the lips, no tongue?
Ridiculous question, I know, but still.
 
Quick tip needed.
Originally had planned to go on a second date this friday. However, I decided to be spontaneous and asked her to grab lunch with me in an hour, which she loved. Our first date went well and at the end we made out for a couple of minutes. What's the kissing etiquette when meeting up for a second date in that case? Do I kiss her on the lips, no tongue?
Ridiculous question, I know, but still.

So you already made out? Do people make out without tongue? Am I dumb?
 
Quick tip needed.
Originally had planned to go on a second date this friday. However, I decided to be spontaneous and asked her to grab lunch with me in an hour, which she loved. Our first date went well and at the end we made out for a couple of minutes. What's the kissing etiquette when meeting up for a second date in that case? Do I kiss her on the lips, no tongue?
Ridiculous question, I know, but still.

Just kiss her on the lips. Save the tongue when youre in bed together once you get that far.

Afterwards tongue should come casually and naturally.
 
This thread has had 3 guys (Kinggi, Midnights, Iznick) who've been saying they're butt ugly post pictures in the past week, and all of them look good to great. It would be nice to have a rule for anyone bringing up that shitty excuse in the future, a direct link to the Depression-Age thread or some shit, to get their head sorted.

Midnights, I think you're to closest to getting out of that rut, since you actively try to better yourself, but god damn man, I thought you were going to be this disfigured hunchback based on the way you described yourself. That shit's not right, fix that mental image, otherwise nothing else will matter. And you need to stop hanging out with shitty people.
 
Just kiss her on the lips. Save the tongue when youre in bed together once you get that far.

Afterwards tongue should come casually and naturally.
Do others in here find this ideal? I'm a pretty timid guy but I end up with full on tongue and biting lips at the end of the night. You're making me feel like I'm rushing it.
 
This thread has had 3 guys (Kinggi, Midnights, Iznick) who've been saying they're butt ugly post pictures in the past week, and all of them look good to great. It would be nice to have a rule for anyone bringing up that shitty excuse in the future, a direct link to the Depression-Age thread or some shit, to get their head sorted.

I think I'm ugly but because I'm too pudgy/fat not because of anything with my face. I just don't post about it or want anyones feedback because I know how to fix it myself. :V
 
Do others in here find this ideal? I'm a pretty timid guy but I end up with full on tongue and biting lips at the end of the night. You're making me feel like I'm rushing it.

To each his own. Thats just my approach to the deal.

Especially if they've kissed once already, its alright for a small kiss on the lips.

Once you've been sexually intimate with each other, you ought to be able to use the tongue freely.

Then again I come from a very sexually liberated country. :p
 
I think I'm ugly but because I'm too pudgy/fat not because of anything with my face. I just don't post about it or want anyones feedback because I know how to fix it myself. :V

That works as well, though the mentality that you're ugly needs to go away regardless of your weight. In terms of getting women, pudgy guy with massive amounts of confidence >> non-pudgy guy with low confidence/thinking he's ugly, 100% of the time, as evident by some posters in this thread.
 
Do others in here find this ideal? I'm a pretty timid guy but I end up with full on tongue and biting lips at the end of the night. You're making me feel like I'm rushing it.

Do you feel comfortable and does she, are the big questions. If so, then whatever, imo. I would keep it on the softer side just because its a touch early on, I think.
 
Thinking about making a move on the cute cashier at the grocery store. As of today, the only thing I have said to her is "Hi. How are you." Is straight up asking her out too creepy? Or should I try to create some small talk and become more friendly with her, so that perhaps in the near future I can ask her out?
 
Thinking about making a move on the cute cashier at the grocery store. As of today, the only thing I have said to her is "Hi. How are you." Is straight up asking her out too creepy? Or should I try to create some small talk and become more friendly with her, so that perhaps in the near future I can ask her out?

Make small talk. Asking her out of nowhere while she's working is awkward and almost a surefire way of being rejected.
 
Just kiss her on the lips. Save the tongue when youre in bed together once you get that far.

Afterwards tongue should come casually and naturally.
Well tongue has already been used but I think that's fine advice. Don't want to come off too eager, but also don't want to seem like some weird prude.
 
Do you feel comfortable and does she, are the big questions. If so, then whatever, imo. I would keep it on the softer side just because its a touch early on, I think.
Right, of course on the mutual comfort. Was just curious on the first date consensus. Cheers.
 
Izick's dysmorphic disorder is beyond anyone's assistance. The guy has clearly built up his own image of himself in his own mind that he has cultivated through years (decades?) of being alone with his own poisonous thoughts.

Last shot: you can either continue this destructive thinking that's ruining your life forever or you can make the changes necessary to give you the happiness you want. Go ahead and live and die alone and sad, because the way you're acting, you deserve it. We'd all like to see you get over yourself and have success, though, and there's nothing stopping you from that but yourself. If you can't help yourself, get professional help.
 
So i have some sort of a "problem"
I've been dating two girls at the same time now.
3 dates with girl A, 2 with girl B
Girl A is great in the looks department, girl B has a better personality..
Besides not knowing who i like better, what's the correct behaviour? How long can i date them both and noy be an asshole in the end?
 
Man, I missed Izick's pictures! WTH I wanted to see them :(

Also that Brent guy is hilarious. I bet there are tons of guys paying him hundreds of dollars and then live vicariously through him posting videos and pictures of the shit he does with their money. You gotta respect a dude who can con sad people out of their money AND make them feel a little better at the same time!
Also, good god am I glad I will never ever belong in the kind of circles that guy lives in.
Just looking at some of his pics makes me feel completely and utterly weird.
 
So i have some sort of a "problem"
I've been dating two girls at the same time now.
3 dates with girl A, 2 with girl B
Girl A is great in the looks department, girl B has a better personality..
Besides not knowing who i like better, what's the correct behaviour? How long can i date them both and noy be an asshole in the end?
Personally I'd say until you'be slept with one of them. Also, I know it's not as easy as it sounds, but pick the one that fits your goal. Looking to just have sex? Go for A. Potentially interested in something long term? B seems the sound choice then.
 
Personally I'd say until you'be slept with one of them. Also, I know it's not as easy as it sounds, but pick the one that fits your goal. Looking to just have sex? Go for A. Potentially interested in something long term? B seems the sound choice then.
Pretty much this. Has seeing other people come up in conversations with either?
 
Make small talk. Asking her out of nowhere while she's working is awkward and almost a surefire way of being rejected.

Small talk is so hard for me to sustain, but I also think this is the best way to go about it.

Is slipping her a piece of paper with my name and number on it also a bad idea?
 
Man, I missed Izick's pictures! WTH I wanted to see them :(

Also that Brent guy is hilarious. I bet there are tons of guys paying him hundreds of dollars and then live vicariously through him posting videos and pictures of the shit he does with their money. You gotta respect a dude who can con sad people out of their money AND make them feel a little better at the same time!
Also, good god am I glad I will never ever belong in the kind of circles that guy lives in.
Just looking at some of his pics makes me feel completely and utterly weird.

I wonder if he has actually, legitimately helped someone outside of his awful 2 minute "Go get 'em, slugger!" videos.
 
Personally I'd say until you'be slept with one of them. Also, I know it's not as easy as it sounds, but pick the one that fits your goal. Looking to just have sex? Go for A. Potentially interested in something long term? B seems the sound choice then.

Thanks, kind of what i was thinking, girl B is coming over on friday, so i guess i should know more after that.

Pretty much this. Has seeing other people come up in conversations with either?

Nope, not with either of them.
 
Izick's dysmorphic disorder is beyond anyone's assistance. The guy has clearly built up his own image of himself in his own mind that he has cultivated through years (decades?) of being alone with his own poisonous thoughts.

Last shot: you can either continue this destructive thinking that's ruining your life forever or you can make the changes necessary to give you the happiness you want. Go ahead and live and die alone and sad, because the way you're acting, you deserve it. We'd all like to see you get over yourself and have success, though, and there's nothing stopping you from that but yourself. If you can't help yourself, get professional help.

People like Izick (and this is going to sound cruel) need to deal with their depression and insecurities before bothering to go out there and date. How the hell can you inspire a girl to be into you if you hate yourself?
 
So my little drama...I casually texted that guy today saying I'd be in town and would be free later for a walk if he wanted. He replied saying he was sorry, but was in work.

I guess a reply is something...after a series of ignored ones a few days ago...right?
 
So my little drama...I casually texted that guy today saying I'd be in town and would be free later for a walk if he wanted. He replied saying he was sorry, but was in work.

I guess a reply is something...after a series of ignored ones a few days ago...right?
How many ignored texts over how many days? Girl?
 
We're two boys. The longer story started on this page:

http://neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=459177&page=227

Since that episode on Saturday there were a couple of further conciliatory messages sent by me (yeah...i know) that didn't get a reply.

I was kind of pushing my luck with a message today, but I guess I at least got a little life out of him?
I think you might of come on strong in some of those reactionary text messages (been there) and put him off a bit. I'd relax and not contact him for a while. It's tough and sucks especially if there's a connection but it's what needs to happen. Going forward be mindful on how some of that can be perceived, try to ease up. Who knows maybe he'll get in touch with you again. Worst case scenario you find someone better. :) Chin up bro.
 
I think you might of come on strong in some of those reactionary text messages (been there) and put him off a bit. I'd relax and not contact him for a while. It's tough and sucks especially if there's a connection but it's what needs to happen. Going forward be mindful on how some of that can be perceived, try to ease up. Who knows maybe he'll get in touch with you again. Worst case scenario you find someone better. :) Chin up bro.

Definitely learnt lessons for the future.

Still hoping I haven't irrevocably f-ed up this case though. Maybe that's a bit weak of me :\

Anyway, I played this instance off very cool. No follow-up 'maybe tomorrow?'. No pushing, just wished him a good day.

I will indeed leave him for a while. I suppose if there's any hope I have to show him that I have indeed learned from last week.

But that little insecure part of me probably is going to be over-analysing his reply for the next while :\ An optimistic part of me thinks that at least he didn't ignore the invite as with last week...maybe he wants to leave a door open and is waiting to see if i'm a bit cooler about things? Argh. Dunno.
 
Wow, this thread sure has taken a turn for the worst.

It's a complete mess.

I worry about my image all the time, but my god.

People like Izick (and this is going to sound cruel) need to deal with their depression and insecurities before bothering to go out there and date. How the hell can you inspire a girl to be into you if you hate yourself?
Whilst I do agree (for both guys and girls), there are some things which are near enough impossible to get rid of.

Anxiety issues/depression will always lurk in the background.
 
Midnights: You shouldn't compare yourself with anyone like that. They aren't living your life but you are living theirs. So who is living yours in that case? And post more pictures :)
 
We're two boys. The longer story started on this page:

http://neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=459177&page=227

Since that episode on Saturday there were a couple of further conciliatory messages sent by me (yeah...i know) that didn't get a reply.

I was kind of pushing my luck with a message today, but I guess I at least got a little life out of him?

have you tried acting uninterested in him i.e don't make any contact with him for a week or two? it's difficult cause you seem into him but it might give you a better power of play.
 
have you tried acting uninterested in him i.e don't make any contact with him for a week or two? it's difficult cause you seem into him but it might give you a better power of play.

That's probably going to be my next step...I know it's what I should be doing.

The closest I've come to acting uninterested in him is when I told him that I was fucking off, basically, and that he was a coward. Which did elicit a reaction per the earlier posts - but also made me look like a silly b in the process.

Fuck that shit, send 500 emails.

find one of his friends and start paying them for information about him. that way you can show him how much you care about him!

XD
 
Wow, this thread sure has taken a turn for the worst.

It's a complete mess.

I worry about my image all the time, but my god.

Whilst I do agree (for both guys and girls), there are some things which are near enough impossible to get rid of.

Anxiety issues/depression will always lurk in the background.

That is why you talk to a professional on ways to manage it.
 
Has this thread moved on from The Whining of Izick yet?
Yes, let's stop mentioning it and keep it that way.


Mini-date went fairly well this afternoon. Afterwards she messaged me to tell me she really had fun again. Looks like Friday evening is still on. Not quite over the moon about this girl, but I do really enjoy her company. Hopefully I can make things move forward a notch on Friday.
 
People like Izick (and this is going to sound cruel) need to deal with their depression and insecurities before bothering to go out there and date. How the hell can you inspire a girl to be into you if you hate yourself?

Seriously. It's not the looks that are not getting the girls, it's everything in this thread that is.
 
Lots of events in my city and the smaller cities near by for the Fourth. Gonna go and chat with folk, including women, (hopefully).

Wish me luck.
 
Been talking to the girl you guys helped me get with for a month now, we cuddle and kiss all the time, she's admitted she likes me a lot and that she's going to miss me loads while I'm away for a month in a week's time. We're both not currently looking for a traditional public relationship deal but have both admitted we'd probably eventually make an exception for each other in that regard because we feel like something special may be a 'brewin. Just not yet. I want to come back and have something and I'm pretty sure she does too but she's super afraid of getting hurt and wants to "play it by ear". Here's my dilemma. I haven't felt like this about another person before. Ever, I don't think. She's stunning, all of my friends like her, she's well traveled, she's intelligent, and she was crazy about me as much as I was about her from early on. It's been so easy, so unforced, and just so bloody feel-good. So much so that I'm desperately afraid of losing her just because I'm going away. And when I come back there'll only be a few weeks before she goes to her uni which is about 4 hours away from my own.

Is there anything I can do or say to improve my chances of this existing upon my return? I know we should keep in touch (she wants to, whether it's through postcards or FB messages or Skype) but how do I keep this budding romance thing going when I'm away for a whole month right as we've reached the peak of our passion for each other?
 
Man, I missed Izick's pictures! WTH I wanted to see them :(

Also that Brent guy is hilarious. I bet there are tons of guys paying him hundreds of dollars and then live vicariously through him posting videos and pictures of the shit he does with their money. You gotta respect a dude who can con sad people out of their money AND make them feel a little better at the same time!
Also, good god am I glad I will never ever belong in the kind of circles that guy lives in.
Just looking at some of his pics makes me feel completely and utterly weird.

Don't tell Cubsfan23, he still believes.
 
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