I don't know is the short answer. I'm not exactly sure what you're asking. You seem to be asking: when did you figure out you are this kind of person, or that kind of person.
Life events are hard to pin down, unless it's a specific thing, like facing cancer, which makes you take a good long hard look at yourself. Or maybe even severe depression, where you are faced with your own mortality. And whilst I've known people who have gone through both, or are currently going through either, I, myself have only this secondary experience. And I say that having lived through a very minor car crash.
Personally, I think it's evolutionary. I don't think the modern way is to settle into something for life - i.e it used to be that, once you are a shoemaker, you were always a shoemaker. We change jobs, relationships, houses, etc. so much more often these days.
The smarter I get, the more foolish I realise I am. Age, experience has a way of stripping out my vanities as it were.
Being good, i am realising is slowly creeping up the list; whilst at 20 having lots of sex, or sexual experimentation was nearer the top the list, it is falling slightly away. Been there, done that, got the post card.
