Support NeoGAF

[Coconut]

so she is going to eat dinner and then text him. has he had one conversation with her on the phone? from what it seems, he hasn't (correct me if i am wrong). seems she is all about texting and if thats the case, move on. yes. move on.



if a woman tells me (btw, i am married) that she will text me after dinner, that is a huge strike and i simply move on. i will answer texts and if she initiates hanging out i will go but i am not going to put effort into it.

You previously said to me that just because it works some of the times doesn't mean it works all the time. Apply that theory to your no texting thing. I am curious about what you assume text only means.

This is some stupid passive aggressive bullshit.

Yes, I am SUPER serious about holding a grudge for 2 years.

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

You previously said to me that just because it works some of the times doesn't mean it works all the time. Apply that theory to your no texting thing. I am curious about what you assume text only means.

If a woman only texts to me that conveys she isn't willing to converse in the ways that most humans do... which is over the phone or in person. It also conveys that she isn't willing to give me of her time to actually HAVE a conversation. Texting is what you do with a buddy when you don't want to have a full blown conversation, you just want to have a private message marathon.

 

[bluemax]

lol it sounds like a joke man.

Yes, I am SUPER serious about holding a grudge for 2 years.

No offense, but with dating-age GAF its hard to separate this stuff out. A lot of you dudes need therapy more than a girlfriend.

 

[Coconut]

No offense, but with dating-age GAF its hard to separate this stuff out. A lot of you dudes need therapy more than a girlfriend.

I do fine I figured I could come in here and help some dudes.

If a woman only texts to me that conveys she isn't willing to converse in the ways that most humans do... which is over the phone or in person. It also conveys that she isn't willing to give me of her time to actually HAVE a conversation. Texting is what you do with a buddy when you don't want to have a full blown conversation, you just want to have a private message marathon.

But they aren't in a relationship her time isn't his time or vice versa yet. She doesn't belong to him.

 

[Sarye]

Either way I think we can all agree that he shouldn't text her anymore. Not even waiting a few days. If she doesn't get back to him he should move on. celebi23, you should be looking for more potentials on okcupid (or whatever site you use)

Shouldn't put too much stock on any one girl UNTIL you have more than 1 date. Then you can start pursuing exclusively if that's your prerogative.

 

[Coconut]

Yes to everything Sarye said.. Celebi no more texting.

 

[Sarye]

No offense, but with dating-age GAF its hard to separate this stuff out. A lot of you dudes need therapy more than a girlfriend.

I do fine I figured I could come in here and help some dudes.

same. Had success with okcupid and thought I'd help GAF out. I really like hearing other people having success as well, but mainly post here for people to avoid the same mistakes I have made growing up. If only I could use the knowledge I know now for my younger self... man..

 

[foodtaster]

when will people understand that the key to getting women is to stop caring about them. seriously. ask anyone who has had a girlfriend ever

 

[Kinitari]

Yeah, we can pretty much all agree there. Don't put too much stock into anything that happens right now - you will have dozens of opportunities like this if you keep your confidence up, keep on putting the effort in and continue being bold.

This might be a girl who is great for you, it might not be - but don't put all your eggs into this one basket. Right now it's you getting back in the game and it's the early stages, so we understand why you are so worried about every thing you say/communicate with this person, and it's also all very nuanced so we're not always going to give you the 'right' advice for every situation. But one thing I think it's important for you to understand is that I can already tell that you'll be fine, you're doing better than so many Gaffers out there who let their self-defeating attitudes cripple them - you've had two nibbles in the last little while, which is honestly better than what I did last summer. By a long run, my nibbles were MONTHS apart.

Keep up that confidence, keep walking the path you're walking, and eventually you'll find your own groove and be able to handle it all by yourself. The most important thing is, keep your chin up and keep swinging for the fences.

when will people understand that the key to getting women is to stop caring about them. seriously. ask anyone who has had a girlfriend ever

I think this is a super duper unhealthy attitude, with a tiny... TINY nugget of truth in it.

It's not about not caring, it's all about giving your SO or desired SO the space they need to desire/miss you. If you're ALWAYS there, always texting always on them... they go from nervous about whether or not you like them, to nervous that you are smothering them VERY quickly.

I'd say a better attitude is... you think the girl is nice, you think you and her could have some fun, but it doesn't matter to you on a deep emotional level if she never texts you again... I think embodying that ideology helps. It puts you in a position of confidence, and that sort of confidence is attractive. Giving too much attention and worrying about too many details, not attractive. It doesn't matter why that's the case, it simply is.

 

[Devolution]

when will people understand that the key to getting women is to stop caring about them. seriously. ask anyone who has had a girlfriend ever

Hahaha as if all men can just be aloof and attract women in that manner.

 

[ZombieFred]

No offense, but with dating-age GAF its hard to separate this stuff out. A lot of you dudes need therapy more than a girlfriend.

I think that case does match a lot here. Seeking help into friends or professional help can help resolve a lot of issues people have here. With me I know where my faults are when I broke up with my ex and I just got to avoid her and anything related completely and let time heal and make more of a life where i work, which i will plan to. A lot of self improving like going to the gym, making new friends and going out to do social things and exploring yourself more is probably the best thing to do for a little while. Hell I think some people should take a break when it comes to looking and do those things I've said and see what happens. It will make you feel more better and happier. Sadly with me I have had to play hardcore mode as I was forced to become a self tenant in a house and had to learn to cook, DIY and so fourth, while making new friends and stuff as all my old friends live in a different county and my parents in a whole different country. Shit like this makes you stronger but you do feel a bit hateful for it but time should remove that.

 

[Coconut]

when will people understand that the key to getting women is to stop caring about them. seriously. ask anyone who has had a girlfriend ever

Once that's actually a true statement.

 

[Sarye]

when will people understand that the key to getting women is to stop caring about them. seriously. ask anyone who has had a girlfriend ever

Hahaha as if all men can just be aloof and attract women in that manner.

there is some truth into foodtaster's post but I would clarify it more as "stop obsessing".

 

[Arjen]

when will people understand that the key to getting women is to stop caring about them. seriously. ask anyone who has had a girlfriend ever

Annoying but true.

 

[SlipperySlope]

Just want to add that if you call a girl, she has to call you back. Her sending a text back is a big red flag. The only acceptable text back IMO is "hey sorry I'm busy I'll call you later"

Then you wait for the call.

 

[Nerds with Guns]

when will people understand that the key to getting women is to stop caring about them. seriously. ask anyone who has had a girlfriend ever

Nope.

"stop obsessing".

This.

Edit:

Annoying but true.

This is why we can't have nice things.

 

[celebi23]

Thanks guys. I'm not going to text her back. If she texts me later, great. If not, I'm moving on. I've got packing for Cape Cod to finish anyways You guys really are awesome Thanks for putting up with my mistakes It's been awhile since I've been in the dating game (as most of you could probably figure out )

 

[Kinitari]

Thanks guys. I'm not going to text her back. If she texts me later, great. If not, I'm moving on. I've got packing for Cape Cod to finish anyways You guys really are awesome Thanks for putting up with my mistakes It's been awhile since I've been in the dating game (as most of you could probably figure out )

Good for you, have fun on your trip brah. I start fishing this weekend, super duper nervous. I want to make it a hobby! But I am afraid of killing fish accidentally (I'm fine with killing cleaning a fish I am going to eat, but killing a fish because I couldn't take out the hook quick enough would make me cry).

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

Thanks guys. I'm not going to text her back. If she texts me later, great. If not, I'm moving on. I've got packing for Cape Cod to finish anyways You guys really are awesome Thanks for putting up with my mistakes It's been awhile since I've been in the dating game (as most of you could probably figure out )

Good sir.

 

[celebi23]

Good for you, have fun on your trip brah. I start fishing this weekend, super duper nervous. I want to make it a hobby! But I am afraid of killing fish accidentally (I'm fine with killing cleaning a fish I am going to eat, but killing a fish because I couldn't take out the hook quick enough would make me cry).

Good sir.

Thanks. My grandparents have a house that has 3 connecting lakes right behind it. You walk down a flight of stairs and there's the lake Should be a nice relaxing weekend

 

[celebi23]

She just texted me:
"Did I tell you that I'm not living in Springfield?"

 

[Tex117]

Thanks guys. I'm not going to text her back. If she texts me later, great. If not, I'm moving on. I've got packing for Cape Cod to finish anyways You guys really are awesome Thanks for putting up with my mistakes It's been awhile since I've been in the dating game (as most of you could probably figure out )

I leave this thread for an hour and look what happened!

Yeah, we can all agree that no texting is the best policy here.

(And for the love of god, texting can be perfectly fine when used as a tool).

 

[NeOak]

She just texted me:
"Did I tell you that I'm not living in Springfield?"

Wait a bit before answering

 

[Tex117]

She just texted me:
"Did I tell you that I'm not living in Springfield?"

WAIT WHAT?!

Where does she live?!

DON'T TEXT BACK RIGHT AWAY!!

Wait for the evening, then you write back. something like "Ha! No you didn't, where do you live now!?"

Keep it light.

 

[Kinitari]

She just texted me:
"Did I tell you that I'm not living in Springfield?"

Just say something along the lines of "Oh? Why not?" if you want to reply. This is under the assumption that I understand the context of this comment from her. For all I know she could be talking about moving away, or never actually living in Springfield - can't keep up with all this backstory!

 

[celebi23]

How's this:
"Um, no, you didn't"

 

[ZombieFred]

How's this:
"Um, no, you didn't"

I'd say that's the best way to put it. You can find out then whether it's worth continuing or not.

 

[Coconut]

How's this:
"Um, no, you didn't"

You are getting off topic and need to bring this around to making a date.

 

[Tex117]

How's this:
"Um, no, you didn't"

I mean, first you sounded like you were wanting to date, now you sound pouty.

Id keep it very light....see where she lives. Then...adios (most likely).

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

How's this:
"Um, no, you didn't"

You sure you want to date her? I will say this again, move on.

 

[celebi23]

Her response:
"Oh well i should have! I won't be in springfield until the end of august/ beginning of september; i am living at home for the summer, but moving for the school year"

Isn't that the type of thing you put in your profile?? I mean, it says that she lives in Springfield on her profile :/

 

[Chinner]

so basically she's saying she can't do it? sounds sketchy to me, but either way just be cool and be like, thats cool maybe we can meet up once you're here.

then don't text and move on.

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

Her response:
"Oh well i should have! I won't be in springfield until the end of august/ beginning of september; i am living at home for the summer, but moving for the school year"

Isn't that the type of thing you put in your profile?? I mean, it says that she lives in Springfield on her profile :/

say this

"Oh, nice. Well, maybe we'll catch up in September and get a bite to eat. Good luck with the move."

and move on.

 

[Coconut]

Her response:
"Oh well i should have! I won't be in springfield until the end of august/ beginning of september; i am living at home for the summer, but moving for the school year"

Isn't that the type of thing you put in your profile?? I mean, it says that she lives in Springfield on her profile :/

Don't even bother responding. What a meany butt.

 

[Kinitari]

Her response:
"Oh well i should have! I won't be in springfield until the end of august/ beginning of september; i am living at home for the summer, but moving for the school year"

Isn't that the type of thing you put in your profile?? I mean, it says that she lives in Springfield on her profile :/

Ah, cool - well maybe when you're in town you can give me a call if you want and we can meet up.

And leave it at that, no need to get upset or try to figure out why she did what she did. Hit up some other girls, and if she contacts you asking for a date and you're still single - balls in your court.

 

[celebi23]

So, don't ask her where she lives now? I mean, the area code is Mass. though

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

So, don't ask her where she lives now? I mean, the area code is Mass. though

Bro. Move. On.

 

[Cubsfan23]

have some self-respect and never text her again

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Ah, it's so amusing when GAF gets to live vicariously through one of their own. Reminds me of that guy who was updating us from the bathroom.

 

[celebi23]

Bro. Move. On.

Alright, going with this

Ah, cool - well maybe when you're in town you can give me a call if you want and we can meet up.

And leave it at that, no need to get upset or try to figure out why she did what she did. Hit up some other girls, and if she contacts you asking for a date and you're still single - balls in your court.

I'm done

 

[NateDrake]

So, don't ask her where she lives now? I mean, the area code is Mass. though

Tough call. You can still express interest in meeting/going on a date with her at some point if you still feel you want to. I wouldn't shut the door on her based on this short text convo. Play and feel everything out.

 

[Kinitari]

Alright, going with this

I'm done

Good for you man, doesn't even feel like you need advice half the time.

 

[Tess3ract]

Don't even bother responding. What a slunt.

Slunt? really? Come on now.

 

[Chinner]

Ah, it's so amusing when GAF gets to live vicariously through one of their own. Reminds me of that guy who was updating us from the bathroom.

your post =

(the grass is the thread, the poop is your post)

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

celebi:

How long have you been speaking to this person?
How well do you know her?
How many conversations have you had if any on the phone?

 

[Vermillion]

Slunt? really? Come on now.

Is that more or less offensive? I can't tell.

 

[Chinner]

Is that more or less offensive? I can't tell.

well its a combination of two negative words. so- yes.

 

[celebi23]

celebi:

How long have you been speaking to this person?
How well do you know her?
How many conversations have you had if any on the phone?

Been texting since Sunday. We've got a ton in common. Haven't spoken on the phone yet (see earlier posts). Doesn't feel right to shut the door completely. Here's what I'm saying:
"Ah, cool. If you'd like to hang out sometime, I'd be up for that." If she doesn't respond after this, I'm done.

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

Been texting since Sunday. We've got a ton in common. Haven't spoken on the phone yet (see earlier posts). Doesn't feel right to shut the door completely. Here's what I'm saying:
"Ah, cool. If you'd like to hang out sometime, I'd be up for that." After this, I'm done

That is fine but honestly, and this is just my opinion, you don't know if you have a lot in common until you actually spend time together. Also, you've been talking to her for 3 days basically, don't even hold a second thought about her.

 

[Coconut]

So, don't ask her where she lives now? I mean, the area code is Mass. though

If it were me at the point when she said did I tell you I don't live where I say I live. Red lights started to flash so I would have just stopped caring and moved on.