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[Bam Bam Baklava]

Oh cool, another person who assume pua is bullshit and treats women poorly. It's been a while, hasn't it?

Blame the scamsters that have basically turned it into a pyramid scheme.

So what you're saying is that you implement pick up artist 'tips'?

Gotta kino mang.

 

[DY_nasty]

Oh cool, another person who assume pua is bullshit and treats women poorly. It's been a while, hasn't it?

pua?

its not even a "treat women poorly" thing. its a "lets turn talking to people into magic" thing

 

[Nerds with Guns]

This is going to get good.



Edit: Already good.

 

[Tess3ract]

What if I think PUA is shit and I treat women very well?

*throws sandwich on the floor*

 

[Minamu]

My post was in response of this

I take it back.

I like that I'm being singled out for using what could be described as just a stupid word, but this thread has actual advice that is incredibly misogynistic.

well most pick artist stuff that people have recommended is an example.

PUA isn't inherently misogynistic, VERY far from it. That's all I'm saying.

 

[TrueBlue]

Nothing wrong with you, man. Some folks just aren't too focused on finding someone to have a relationship with or have sex with. As long as you're happy with your life, have a positive self outlook, socialize, etc., don't worry about the other shit. Just enjoy your life. If you end up wanting to meet someone, you will. If you don't, there isn't anything wrong with you.

Don't stress about it man. Sometimes people just don't want to date, and that's okay.

Sounds good. My life, while not incredibly amazing, is still pretty fulfilling. Gotta enjoy what I got I suppose.

Look, the most important thing is figuring out whether or not that it's you don't want to date, or if it's that you are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt by adopting apathy. If it's the latter, take some time and really do some soul searching. Figure out what it is you want exactly, and we can help you from there.

I've never really feared rejection, at least I don't think I have. I've always kinda thought it to be part and parcel of the whole dating process. It'll very likely be that one day I will get rejected, but I think that's natural.

I think a lot of guys want girls because they're young and their hormones are basically like telling them to go for it. At the end of the day this whole little charade is just our hormones telling us what to do. Do you want a girlfriend or sexual interaction with girls or are you completely apathetic? That's really the only explanation I could think of unless you're life is just so damn fulfilling and awesome that the idea of having a partner isn't appealing to you...there are people out there like that.

I want a girlfriend, and I do want sex. But, I've never really been interested in actively pursuing said things. I know that sounds very wishy-washy, my apologies.

 

[Nerds with Guns]

My post was in response of this

PUA isn't inherently misogynistic, VERY far from it. That's all I'm saying.

I actually would like a legit debate on this though. Since most people’s idea of “game” in general is negative.

I've never really feared rejection, at least I don't think I have.

You fear rejection.

 

[DY_nasty]

I actually would like a legit debate on this though. Since most people’s idea of “game” in general is negative.

Game is being able to adapt to a conversation/setting while still being to get the point across of exactly what you want from the person you're talking to. Its not exclusive to women or men.

If you can't talk up the guy bagging your groceries, then you probably can't talk up the girl with the mojito.

 

[TrueBlue]

You fear rejection.

This is something I wanted to bring up in a bit more detail in my original post. Thing is, I've never been rejected, I don't know what it feels like or why I should fear.

But then I think, a lot of people fear what they don't understand. It just confuses me.

 

[Minamu]

TrueBlue: It sounds like you have the life we always tell people in here to strive for. So good for you! Check the video download link I put up on the previous page, it might suit you, especially since you don't seem trapped in the usual pursuit mode.

I actually would like a legit debate on this though. Since most people’s idea of “game” in general is negative.

From what I've seen in OT2 and OT3, that view in here is usually negative because people are fairly misinformed and only have a slight *idea* of what it all means. There's a lot of assumptions being made on the subject and actually very little research from what I can tell.

And no, I don't go around thinking about doing kino, doing silly tricks or asking girls what their favorite color is etc etc. Xun can attest to that, I think. Oh, and thanks for letting me know how to avatar quote these days (and I'll take that post as a compliment, thank you ).

 

[Nerds with Guns]

Game is being able to adapt to a conversation/setting while still being to get the point across of exactly what you want from the person you're talking to. Its not exclusive to women or men.

If you can't talk up the guy bagging your groceries, then you probably can't talk up the girl with the mojito.

Disagree.

I know plenty of social guys who can talk up anybody except a girl they're interested in. They're afraid because they don't know how to escalate and how to handle certain situations. They will have everything going for them but are afraid to take chances. Game simply changes your perspective/outlook on social dynamics.

Edit: Case and point.

Story

 

[Minamu]

Disagree.

I know plenty of social guys who can talk up anybody except a girl they're interested in. They're afraid because they don't know how to escalate and how to handle certain situations. They will have everything going for them but are afraid to take chances. Game simply changes your perspective/outlook on social dynamics.

As always I'd say, stop chasing them, stop wanting something from them, stop putting them on a pedestal, don't worry so much, roll with the punches, be indifferent and carefree. Let the women chase you! Even Morgan Freeman agrees with this concept as was proven a couple of pages ago. This is the essence of what Brent Smith has taught us. The haters just don't want to believe it's possible, but it is.

 

[Vermillion]

Disagree.

I know plenty of social guys who can talk up anybody except a girl they're interested in. They're afraid because they don't know how to escalate and how to handle certain situations. They will have everything going for them but are afraid to take chances. Game simply changes your perspective/outlook on social dynamics.

Edit: Case and point.

I can go through the motions of talking with almost anyone, if that counts. I can pretend to hold a conversation as long as I need to (while silently wishing we'd get to our destination soon).

 

[DY_nasty]

Disagree.

I know plenty of social guys who can talk up anybody except a girl they're interested in. They're afraid because they don't know how to escalate and how to handle certain situations. They will have everything going for them but are afraid to take chances. Game simply changes your perspective/outlook on social dynamics.

Edit: Case and point.

The last part is only one truth of the bigger picture. Its not meant to validate the entire previous statement.

This thread for example - it has seen tons of people who have social issues, not just issues with who they're attracted to.

 

[Tess3ract]

Game is being able to adapt to a conversation/setting while still being to get the point across of exactly what you want from the person you're talking to. Its not exclusive to women or men.

If you can't talk up the guy bagging your groceries, then you probably can't talk up the girl with the mojito.

This is me.

I'm pretty socially awkward on first meeting someone. I mean like I guess I'm okay and can have a conversation or whatever but I'm shy and have been that way for my entire life.

For me to change into this dissociative badass is pretty much a 180 of a personality change. If that means I'll never date anyone then okay, fuck everyone lol

 

[TrueBlue]

TrueBlue: It sounds like you have the life we always tell people in here to strive for. So good for you! Check the video download link I put up on the previous page, it might suit you, especially since you don't seem trapped in the usual pursuit mode.

Cheers! I'll give it a view later on, might shed some light on things.

Disagree.

I know plenty of social guys who can talk up anybody except a girl they're interested in. They're afraid because they don't know how to escalate and how to handle certain situations. They will have everything going for them but are afraid to take chances. Game simply changes your perspective/outlook on social dynamics.

Edit: Case and point.

As much as I don't like being used as a "point", it still is a good one. I'll have to consider this as I move forward, never really thought about things that way. Thanks for your input.

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

Im sorry but if you have to use PUA youre doing it wrong.

 

[Minamu]

Im sorry but if you have to use PUA youre doing it wrong.

You could argue that GAF's former Kong, and his Simple Pickup crew, are using PUA in their "instructional/inspirational" videos. Are they doing it wrong? Apart from doing ton of unnecessary work and not having the same mindset as myself (anymore), I don't see what's so bad about it?

 

[Coconut]

This is me.

I'm pretty socially awkward on first meeting someone. I mean like I guess I'm okay and can have a conversation or whatever but I'm shy and have been that way for my entire life.

For me to change into this dissociative badass is pretty much a 180 of a personality change. If that means I'll never date anyone then okay, fuck everyone lol

That's my problem with PUA stuff is that most of it at some point tells okay now don't be yourself anymore learn some slight of hand and pretend like you can predict the behavior of women. All of my friends that subscribe to this stuff are lonely, sad, dudes that feel they exist only through the validation of some women they meet at a bar or club, who after a first date see that these guys are just playing a part and actually don't like themselves.

 

[Count Dookkake]

We all know I'm going to make the call...

Is there any advice other than sarcasm and "don't"?

"Is there any advice that conforms to my plan of looking even more desperate than before?"

 

[Etrian Oddity]

I think PUA is a good starting point for folks who have trouble with girls (read: average Dating-GAF newbie).

However, I think it gets outright silly when you totally assimilate yourself into the culture and begin using their jargon. "Yea so during my day-game today I had to neg this 8/10 because I would have come off as an AFC if I didn't kino-close."

Going up and talking to girls is great. What Kong and his crew did was badass, and it shows that a lot of guys really do just imagine the worst case scenarios in their head. Getting numbers is the easy part... it's finding a girl who's actually into you that's hard as hell.

 

[Coconut]

I think PUA is a good starting point for folks who have trouble with girls (read: average Dating-GAF newbie).

However, I think it gets outright silly when you totally assimilate yourself into the culture and begin using their jargon. "Yea so during my day-game today I had to neg this 8/10 because I would have come off as an AFC if I didn't kino-close."

Going up and talking to girls is great. What Kong and his crew did was badass, and it shows that a lot of guys really do just imagine the worst case scenarios in their head. Getting numbers is the easy part... it's finding a girl who's actually into you that's hard as hell.

I think there is nothing that a little social,interaction with both men and women wouldn't solve for these people that have problems with girls. It's all about being comfortable with yourself.

 

[Minamu]

That's my problem with PUA stuff is that most of it at some point tells okay now don't be yourself anymore learn some slight of hand and pretend like you can predict the behavior of women. All of my friends that subscribe to this stuff are lonely, sad, dudes that feel they exist only through the validation of some women they meet at a bar or club, who after a first date see that these guys are just playing a part and actually don't like themselves.

I don't know what books you've read but my impression is quite the opposite. And that's all it is, an impression. No book I've read on the subject have literally told the reader to stop being themselves. This is even one of the greater messages of "The Game" actually. And that last part about your friends being sad dudes, how exactly is that PUA's fault again? Guns don't kill people, people kill people. PUA is a blunt instrument, a tool. It doesn't have just one use, it's up to you how to wield it. Your friends obviously had problems prior to finding PUA and it wasn't the answer.

 

[Nerds with Guns]

This thread for example - it has seen tons of people who have social issues, not just issues with who they're attracted to.

You also see a lot of people who even scoff at the idea that "game" works. They hear words like "mystery method" and "ioi's" and think it's a joke. You also have fucks like Paul Janka who have some how become the real worlds interpretation of the community. Pickup provides you with the tools to do something most people won't. If I see a pretty girl walking down the street I have no issue at all in approaching and talking to her. Most people (especially those without some prior knowledge on game) would. That's what game is to me. To someone else; it could be having the ability to bring home girls every night from a bar. Game could also be improving ones life and turning them into that social, extroverted person. Pickup has many interpretations, and everybody wants something different out of it. Someone with severe social issues can be taught game, trust me on this. It's not something that requires you to be a pretty boy, or have money, or any other stereotype you would like to fit in there. It's just something that improves you as a person (most of the time) and forces you to take chances.

Im sorry but if you have to use PUA youre doing it wrong.

This post is hilarious to me. I can already tell you have no idea what you are talking about. Please sit the fuck down somewhere.

I think there is nothing that a little social,interaction with both men and women wouldn't solve for these people that have problems with girls. It's all about being comfortable with yourself.

If only it was that simple.

 

[TurboLibre]

I think there is nothing that a little social,interaction with both men and women wouldn't solve for these people that have problems with girls. It's all about being comfortable with yourself.

I wish. I'm very social, make friends everywhere I go (male and female), and set up different parties/events/outings with them all throughout the week. Thing is, some people just don't understand attraction and socialization alone won't teach you that.

 

[Unicorn]

About a week ago my girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me. Long story short, she had been bottling whatever frustrations up until it exploded in this cavalcade of bullshit. This is sort of a thing that has gone on every once in a while throughout the relationship. I peg it up as her not being able to communicate. Almost all our fights were about her spending, what I thought was, way too much time with her best friend. Her best friend is a guy, who she dated for a month in high school. Well, at first I was okay with it, as my best friend is a girl, but then she mentioned that one of their mutual friends said that he still loved her or had strong feelings for her. Around that time she spent the night there, at his parents house, and didn't text or call me about it before hand. I flipped out, obviously and told her to call me to pick her up in situations where she went out drinking and couldn't drive home, that's what boyfriends are for. So that shit stopped. Skip about a month or two ahead and we were spending very little time together (opposite schedules and all that) and after work she would go right to hang out with him and some other friends, usually coming home at like 2:30 in the morning. Well, we had another discussion about how we're not spending much time together, and she tried to say that I would sit on my computer when we had days off together. Honestly, just avoiding the real issue of it all. The day after that I was on my computer and she flipped and left. A few days later, the breakup.

I should also mention that we have lived together for almost a year in our apartment.

Whatever, basically she felt our relationship wasn't worth working through, even after I continually suggested different ways to try and sort our problems out bit by bit, so I had a bad week and I'm pretty much over it (plus, she hasn't slept here for 4 nights in a row).

Last night I made an account on OKCupid and so far, 99% of the girls on there are hambeasts, obvious crazies, religious fanatics, or generally someone I don't find appealing. I'm thinking perhaps in a month or something I'll have some sort of manic depressive breakdown when this all really hits me or something, but for now, I'm coping. I really thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this girl, because if we could have just made some breakthrough in communication this could have all been sorted out, but she's a few years younger than me, selfish in a lot of ways, and can't stand to be controlled in the slightest (disregarding the fact that we were in a "serious" relationship, living together, etc.) by just the fact that I suggested that the time spent with her friend and me were disproportionate.

I've probably left a lot out, but frankly that's not the important part, what I'm mostly getting at is this:

Am I trying to jump back into dating too soon? Going about it the wrong way? I plan on going back to school come fall, so hopefully I'll have better chances with girls then, or perhaps hunker down and focus on school.

Just to revisit this for a second.

So, she's got a new phone, along with a new number and plan. The plan she is under? This guy's. What's her new wallpaper? A picture of him. What are they doing tonight? Going to dinner.

Why you gotta deny it all? I'm only still mad because I was so fucking right to be suspicious.

 

[Sub_Level]

I wish. I'm very social, make friends everywhere I go (male and female), and set up different parties/events/outings with them all throughout the week. Thing is, some people just don't understand attraction and socialization alone won't teach you that.

Definitely. I threw a big party once (keg, dj, 20+ people) with a pretty good male-female ratio. Didn't even get a number! But being social does help. Can't get girls if you don't get out there in the first place (where "there" is is up to you).

QUESTION TIME! Saw girl I met at school a year ago. Just had time for a quick smile. So I looked in an old phone and found her number. Texted yadda yadda you wanna meet up this week? "I'll let you know " What does that mean?

I would normally take it as a no but the thing is SHE asked what days I was free.

 

[Nerds with Guns]

Texted yadda yadda you wanna meet up this week? "I'll let you know " What does that mean?

It means she's going to check to see if she has something better to do. If not, then she'll go out with you.

I would normally take it as a no but the thing is SHE asked what days I was free.

Wait what?

You asked her out, but then she said she was busy all week and asked when you're free?

 

[low-G]

No. No. No. Please, for the love of all things human, DO. NOT. TEXT. under any circumstance. Keep trying the phone.

Is this for real? No one uses the phone these days. Seriously, who does this? Kinda not kidding.

OK ok, yeah it's true phone calls are good for finding out compatibility and shit, but with the way peoples' schedules are when you're first meeting someone... I really think that's sketchy advice. I'm not a caller, there are a LOT of times when I'm not available to take a call or I'd rather just text. Lots of people are this way.

If you want to do it right text to the point [at blah blah place at 5PM Saturday] and if she says anything but yes you ignore, maybe try again. If she doesn't recommend anything you can proceed with any last ditch thing you want to do but the most mature thing is to never contact her again.

OK, if it's a learning experience thing, but I swear calling people out of the blue before you've even dated is so unnatural these days it's gonna cause problems.

I agree with this.

Don't have conversations via text BEFORE you guys even date, BUT setting up dates? I don't see a problem with it. Times have changed, and nothing wrong with making plans via txt. Hasn't backfired on me yet.

Yes.

Now you guys are just getting really dramatic about it. I set up dates via text all the time. Texting is a modern convenient form of communication

Yes.

 

[SlipperySlope]

Is this for real? No one uses the phone these days. Seriously, who does this? Kinda not kidding.

OK ok, yeah it's true phone calls are good for finding out compatibility and shit, but with the way peoples' schedules are when you're first meeting someone... I really think that's sketchy advice. I'm not a caller, there are a LOT of times when I'm not available to take a call or I'd rather just text. Lots of people are this way.

If they like you, they'll find time. Talking builds rapport much better than text.

You are also much more likely to get a positive response to a date request.

 

[low-G]

If they like you, they'll find time. Talking builds rapport much better than text.

This is at a point where neither of you can know if the other is worth any time at all.

You are also much more likely to get a positive response to a date request.

Meh, if I get someone's number I've never botched the first date request via text. Maybe I should start calling after 1st date though...

 

[SlipperySlope]

This is at a point where neither of you can know if the other is worth any time at all.



Meh, if I get someone's number I've never botched the first date request via text. Maybe I should start calling after 1st date though...

I highly recommend calling to set up the first date. And frankly, for just about every date.

 

[Sub_Level]

You asked her out, but then she said she was busy all week and asked when you're free?

Yeah. So I gave her a few days (not weekend days) that I actually was free and she said she'd lemme know. As for your interpretation, yeah, that's probably whatsup.

 

[Nerds with Guns]

Yeah. So I gave her a few days (not weekend days) that I actually was free and she said she'd lemme know. As for your interpretation, yeah, that's probably whatsup.

Okay cool.


Yeah if it happens and y'all meet up it, great. If it doesn’t, nothing of value was lost to you.

 

[NeOak]

Okay cool.


Yeah if it happens and y'all meet up it, great. If it doesn’t, nothing of value was lost to you.

Btw NwG, update on your stuff in case you wanna share?

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Oh Dating-GAF I'm gonna regret posting this story but I gotta do it.

So, a friend and I are out at a shop buying some clothes and I make eye contact with one of the girls working there and she pretty much ignores all the other customers and comes up to me and compliments me on my shirt and just starts talking to me. I couldn't believe, it this girl was like at least 8/10 and I'm usually the customer that gets ignored by girls like her. Eventually we start talking and it turns out we had a ton in common and I was doing all the things you guys tell people to do like keep eye contact, smile, just be cool. I made a joke that I thought was barely funny and she couldn't stop laughing. It was like for the first time I was doing everything right and she's basically giving me multiple chances to ask for her number, practically setting up with her questions. At this point it hits me that all I have to do is ask and she would say yes but I couldn't do it. I just froze. All those others times I asked girls for their numbers I knew beforehand from their body language and responses that they were pretty much sure to say no. I guess that made it easy but I wasn't actually ready for someone to say yes.

As we leave my friend says "you know that girl was all over you right? what's wrong with you?".

The good news is I seem to be getting better at all this stuff but I just couldn't close it out this time. Maybe next time.

 

[kathode]

Hey, looking for some quick advice. I met a girl on a business trip through mutual friends. We work on the same kind of stuff and she's actually only 10 minutes down the road from where I live. We seem to hit it off and exchange numbers, and say "hey we should hang out when we're back."

I call her the day after we get back (I know, I know, who calls anymore). Voicemail, left a message - "Hey, just saying hi and seeing if you want to hang out when you get a chance." No response. It's now been three days. What's the right way to follow up? I want to be persistent but not annoyingly so. Should I give it through the weekend? Should I send a text that just says something short like hey what's up? Am I just overthinking it all? It's easy to drive yourself crazy when a girl you like doesn't get back to you

 

[UFRA]

Oh Dating-GAF I'm gonna regret posting this story but I gotta do it.

So, a friend and I are out at a shop buying some clothes and I make eye contact with one of the girls working there and she pretty much ignores all the other customers and comes up to me and compliments me on my shirt and just starts talking to me. I couldn't believe, it this girl was like at least 8/10 and I'm usually the customer that gets ignored by girls like her. Eventually we start talking and it turns out we had a ton in common and I was doing all the things you guys tell people to do like keep eye contact, smile, just be cool. I made a joke that I thought was barely funny and she couldn't stop laughing. It was like for the first time I was doing everything right and she's basically giving me multiple chances to ask for her number, practically setting up with her questions. At this point it hits me that all I have to do is ask and she would say yes but I couldn't do it. I just froze. All those others times I asked girls for their numbers I knew beforehand from their body language and responses that they were pretty much sure to say no. I guess that made it easy but I wasn't actually ready for someone to say yes.

As we leave my friend says "you know that girl was all over you right? what's wrong with you?".

The good news is I seem to be getting better at all this stuff but I just couldn't close it out this time. Maybe next time.

And GAF says that the girl never comes to you and you must always seek the girl!

Too bad you didn't get the number, but that's a cool story. A nice confidence builder at least.

Hey, looking for some quick advice. I met a girl on a business trip through mutual friends. We work on the same kind of stuff and she's actually only 10 minutes down the road from where I live. We seem to hit it off and exchange numbers, and say "hey we should hang out when we're back."

I call her the day after we get back (I know, I know, who calls anymore). Voicemail, left a message - "Hey, just saying hi and seeing if you want to hang out when you get a chance." No response. It's now been three days. What's the right way to follow up? I want to be persistent but not annoyingly so. Should I give it through the weekend? Should I send a text that just says something short like hey what's up? Am I just overthinking it all? It's easy to drive yourself crazy when a girl you like doesn't get back to you

If it's been 3 days, then I'd say at some point you'd be safe with doing 1 more call. If she doesn't answer that one, don't leave a voicemail and move on. If she has any cell phone built after the stone age she'll know who called and it's up to her to respond. It's possible she's still on the business trip or whatever so I'd say 1 more call and then rest. Honestly even 1 more call is probably too much but you have nothing to lose at this point. A voicemail is impossible to miss on a phone pretty much.

And no, don't do those "whats up" texts. Those are just annoying.

 

[Nerds with Guns]

Btw NwG, update on your stuff in case you wanna share?

It's been a chill ass week dude. I've basically had a roommate for the past five days so that's been interesting.


I do have kind of a general question though. Anyone ever been in a relationship with a really large age difference?

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

And GAF says that the girl never comes to you and you must always seek the girl!

Too bad you didn't get the number, but that's a cool story. A nice confidence builder at least.

Well I did look at her and smile. I think that at least opened the door. She won't come to you if you're staring at the floor and looking unapproachable.

 

[NeOak]

Oh Dating-GAF I'm gonna regret posting this story but I gotta do it.

So, a friend and I are out at a shop buying some clothes and I make eye contact with one of the girls working there and she pretty much ignores all the other customers and comes up to me and compliments me on my shirt and just starts talking to me. I couldn't believe, it this girl was like at least 8/10 and I'm usually the customer that gets ignored by girls like her. Eventually we start talking and it turns out we had a ton in common and I was doing all the things you guys tell people to do like keep eye contact, smile, just be cool. I made a joke that I thought was barely funny and she couldn't stop laughing. It was like for the first time I was doing everything right and she's basically giving me multiple chances to ask for her number, practically setting up with her questions. At this point it hits me that all I have to do is ask and she would say yes but I couldn't do it. I just froze. All those others times I asked girls for their numbers I knew beforehand from their body language and responses that they were pretty much sure to say no. I guess that made it easy but I wasn't actually ready for someone to say yes.

As we leave my friend says "you know that girl was all over you right? what's wrong with you?".

The good news is I seem to be getting better at all this stuff but I just couldn't close it out this time. Maybe next time.

Go back in about 2 to 3 days and pray she's working that shift. Lie and blame your buddy for not asking for her number and say something like "wow i can't believe my friend cock-blocked me".

Or something like that lol

 

[Tess3ract]

Does anyone else have this happen on OKC?

1. Message girl
2. Messages you back
3. Respond to that text
4. nothing ever since then

 

[NeOak]

It's been a chill ass week dude. I've basically had a roommate for the past five days so that's been interesting.


I do have kind of a general question though. Anyone ever been in a relationship with a really large age difference?

Woah there cowboy. Make sure that roommate pays utilities and rent lol

On a serious tone, its great but be careful of wearing out the initial excitement.

 

[Nerds with Guns]

Oh Dating-GAF I'm gonna regret posting this story but I gotta do it.

So, a friend and I are out at a shop buying some clothes and I make eye contact with one of the girls working there and she pretty much ignores all the other customers and comes up to me and compliments me on my shirt and just starts talking to me. I couldn't believe, it this girl was like at least 8/10 and I'm usually the customer that gets ignored by girls like her. Eventually we start talking and it turns out we had a ton in common and I was doing all the things you guys tell people to do like keep eye contact, smile, just be cool. I made a joke that I thought was barely funny and she couldn't stop laughing. It was like for the first time I was doing everything right and she's basically giving me multiple chances to ask for her number, practically setting up with her questions. At this point it hits me that all I have to do is ask and she would say yes but I couldn't do it. I just froze. All those others times I asked girls for their numbers I knew beforehand from their body language and responses that they were pretty much sure to say no. I guess that made it easy but I wasn't actually ready for someone to say yes.

As we leave my friend says "you know that girl was all over you right? what's wrong with you?".

The good news is I seem to be getting better at all this stuff but I just couldn't close it out this time. Maybe next time.

You go back to that store tomorrow and ask for her number, I'm not even joking.

Story

Don't stress it send one more text if you want to. After that you leave it alone.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

"You remind me of my brother."

Well then.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

You go back to that store tomorrow and ask for her number, I'm not even joking.

Wouldn't that seem like the desperate thing to do?

 

[low-G]

Oh Dating-GAF I'm gonna regret posting this story but I gotta do it.

So, a friend and I are out at a shop buying some clothes and I make eye contact with one of the girls working there and she pretty much ignores all the other customers and comes up to me and compliments me on my shirt and just starts talking to me. I couldn't believe, it this girl was like at least 8/10 and I'm usually the customer that gets ignored by girls like her. Eventually we start talking and it turns out we had a ton in common and I was doing all the things you guys tell people to do like keep eye contact, smile, just be cool. I made a joke that I thought was barely funny and she couldn't stop laughing. It was like for the first time I was doing everything right and she's basically giving me multiple chances to ask for her number, practically setting up with her questions. At this point it hits me that all I have to do is ask and she would say yes but I couldn't do it. I just froze. All those others times I asked girls for their numbers I knew beforehand from their body language and responses that they were pretty much sure to say no. I guess that made it easy but I wasn't actually ready for someone to say yes.

As we leave my friend says "you know that girl was all over you right? what's wrong with you?".

The good news is I seem to be getting better at all this stuff but I just couldn't close it out this time. Maybe next time.

What would have been easier is if you were working stuff so well you could have asked her out for dinner / hang out / whatever that night. Might feel more natural than asking for a number. If you're in person and stuff is cool and she is into you you might get the date right off, and of course you'd exchange numbers after agreeing.

In this case it's easier if you have non dinner plans though. Simplest thing I can think of is 'Hey, I'm going to blahblah tonight at 8PM, [words meaning you'd be glad to have her along]' and if she says no and gives you a reason you walk out and if she's actually interested she'll stop you and give you her number.

 

[subversus]

Thanks guys. I'm not going to text her back. If she texts me later, great. If not, I'm moving on. I've got packing for Cape Cod to finish anyways You guys really are awesome Thanks for putting up with my mistakes It's been awhile since I've been in the dating game (as most of you could probably figure out )

yeah, just have fun, that's the key to this.

 

[low-G]

Does anyone else have this happen on OKC?

1. Message girl
2. Messages you back
3. Respond to that text
4. nothing ever since then

Yeah lots. Or even worse the back and forth a bunch of rounds then she suddenly disappears. Sometimes she gets busy with life, this is not necessarily a sign of complete disinterest (take this from girls that know). OKCupid is like a blizzard of messages for girls and not wanting to deal with all that while they have jobs and lives is a very real thing.

 

[UFRA]

Does anyone else have this happen on OKC?

1. Message girl
2. Messages you back
3. Respond to that text
4. nothing ever since then

This happened to me with 90% of girls on both OKC and Match.com when I was hunting for girls... as the above poster mentioned, it felt even worse when you got several exchanges with a girl and things were looking promising, then suddenly she dropped off the face of the earth.