Come on, it's hilarious :lol
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Will you all please stop coddling SlipperySlope and be real about how far off the fucking deep end he is?
Pretending he'll be okay is not going to help him. "A girl will fix all my problems" is the biggest red flag you can wave when combined with all of the issues he's gone on about.
Pretending he'll be okay is not going to help him. "A girl will fix all my problems" is the biggest red flag you can wave when combined with all of the issues he's gone on about.
Begging for thumbs?
Well, no that's kinda pathetic, true. I assumed you were talking about the video in general.
Well yeah, it's just too obviously staged and edited for me.
But they've proved time and time again that it's not staged. Edited, sure, their fails aren't what the videos are about, but it's not like they've hired female actors or anything. Why does it feel like we're going in circles here?
NeOak
Member
GTFO and seek professional help. Now.
My fiancee also has family issues. IMHO they are controlling and selfish, but the details are neither here nor there. Her problems are nothing compared to what your girlfriend faces, in all honesty. (We were dealing with purely emotional abuse - your situation is far worse)
I agree with the therapist, you should try to introduce her to your family. Also, I saw a recommendation for this book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1558740902/?tag=neogaf0e-20
I have not read it myself but it is supposed to be a good guide to what is "normal" because growing up in a dysfunctional family, she will not have the perspective on her own to see the truth about her own family.
In our case, we were in a better position because we live in another state, so we didn't interact with her parents that much, and she was able to grow as an individual since she was living on her own. However we are planning a move (not to mention a wedding) that would put us closer to them, so these issues came to a head for us recently, with her father trying to manipulate the both of us to do what he wanted. We managed to defuse the immediate crisis (and we are proceeding with our plans for our lives, not his) but the conversation is still ongoing...hopefully their relationship can shift into something healthier.
Addressing the problem did require us seeking professional help, so you should consider going to counseling with her to talk about the issues with her family, if you haven't already.
I feel for you, I almost started a thread here to talk about everything while it was still happening. I know a lot of people are saying to bail, and while in the end they might be right, I also think you two may have still have a shot...but it is up to her to come to this realization herself. Good luck!
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
Well my ex and my sister was talking behind my back with my sister telling her what I was/been up to and the stuff I said in confidence, and I told them many times to respect my wishes of blocking contact as I want no links in my life after everything (they hardly knew each other and only talked here and there). So what have I done now? Removed my sister off facebook and don't plan to talk to her much for the foreseeable future while I think ahead of the foreseeable future and sort things out like usual. Women are crazy.
But they've proved time and time again that it's not staged. Edited, sure, their fails aren't what the videos are about, but it's not like they've hired female actors or anything. Why does it feel like we're going in circles here?
They may not be staged, and they may be picking up random girls, but I find them ridiculous. Way too blunt, and quite obnoxious.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Yeah, I'd rather see a guy that is civil and speaks eloquently get chicks rather than some bros acting like clowns.
They're just proving the point that even with the most ridiculous scenario's and handicaps it's still possible to pick up girls. I'm pretty sure they don't usually dress up like a little princess to get a number but it proves that it's all about confidence. I'm not ready to just talk to random people on the streets yet since I have my sights on a girl I really want to make it work with right now but it does help me feel like anyone can do it as long as you come off as confident and genuine.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
It asks the question at the end of the day though is there any wrong way to do it if you're just ballsy and ask every girl that walks by?
Not to be an ass or anything, but I'm sure you'd find something to complain about if someone put up a video like that
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Not to be an ass or anything, but I'm sure you'd find something to complain about if someone put up a video like that
Don't be so sure.
Sanky Panky
Banned
You will fuck up every relationship you find until you realize that your happiness does NOT come from someone else. You will always be disappointed and crushed. Do NOT seek validation in others.
Seek help, and stop looking for a girlfriend to make you happy. It's a recipe for disaster.
I see a fine opportunity to make one yourself
Sounds like a sweet goal to set for yourself. You seem like such a nice guy (not the one in the thread title), it's so annoying to see you beat yourself down all the time.Thought I'd give an update on how my night went with this "sex freak". Turns out that she thought I was great in bed and now she's all over me, I take it that was a resounding success. As for the "sex freak" part, well, i have the scratches all over my body to remind me of it. Thanks for the advice guys.
Unless I'm misinterpreting your post I think that's exactly the point they try to make in the video and I make in my post. Although I do think that copying their lines would fail horribly and you would have to pick something a little more genuine. They seem to go with giving some fake reason to talk to them and then admit you think they're kinda cute and you just wanted to talk to them. I think that's not a bad way to do it honestly since that is pretty much exactly the reason anyone would talk to a random girl on the street.
I last said this a long time ago, but girls are more mental cases than guys. That may be sexist, but I think it's at least a way of thinking about the problem. There isn't simplicity to them, and if I'm to understand women through art like Grapes of Wrath, and chats with female friends, they experience life in more of a sliding smoothness. Imagine if instead of a photograph you simply had a hue, a rich green or a light blue. Oversimplification, but I know that's how girls have treated me and why it's usually impossible for them to just say 'I don't want to see you again' among other reasons.
Are you sure these girls even want a relationship? Are you sure they wouldn't rather just date 1000 guys, meet them all, talk to them, and that's enough for them right now?
Well, if I were you I'd send out those single messages to them and just let it go. If they never ever reply, maybe in two months ask them out to something specific again, I don't know... Because at that point you have nothing to lose and if you're bored & have nothing better to do why not? Just forget about them for now.
Definitely the key to staying sane is forgetting about those people you want to be with if they're not giving you the attention you want. Give them attention & care for them in proportion to how much of what you want you get from them.
Still, it sounds like you're angry that they're not giving you the attention you want, and that might have come off in your communication with them. It's OK to want things, a little, but the anger signifies a deep need within you that you aren't dealing with.
Ideally if you're just meeting some girl or in very early dating there really shouldn't be this 'you owe me' aspect at all. She shouldn't owe you and you don't owe her. Anything either of you do, sharing time, giving attention, all that you give because you want to and you don't expect anything in return. That is optimal healthiness. Easier said than done I know, but personally the anger signifies something that needs fixing within you.
You don't want to be like my bro who when he's dumped calls the girl an immature cunt and so forth. I can just tell he fucked up and he's really the problem causer with his extreme needs.
I used to have the rampage fantasies too very often. But for one thing I do have compassion for others, when I think of someone suffering, at least someone average, I feel bad. Also I've never been a gun owner, nor inflicted violence on any being besides people who picked physical fights on me in school. You're probably something like that too.
The key is you really do have a lot to sort out in yourself. I didn't even try dating until I had 85% of my mind sorted out. Fix yourself, you have plenty of time. Dating will come when you're ready.
Additionally, girl I dated had thoughts like the car crash stuff. Honestly I felt like hugging her, felt like I wanted to fix her. I think I'm probably the best she's ever had but now she's sort of recessed away. Not sure what she thinks she's going to find...
Good thing to point out though is you're not alone man.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I see a fine opportunity to make one yourself
Seems like a lot of work making videos like that with the camera and all that, seems like you need multiple people. Better to leave it to the professionals, but this guy has serious balls.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgs2W9fB17Q
SleepyJohn11
Member
Spend another whole day with that girl I started seeing last week; We both enjoyed Dark Knight Rises, went by an Italian restaurant, and went back to my place and watched a few BritCom before we got really cozy and started fooling around again.
The next weekend with each other is already set, and looks like thing are still rolling. But I guess this is still all new to me and I'm still feel a little uncertain on where things will go.
Maybe I shouldn't over-think and enjoy the moment.
The next weekend with each other is already set, and looks like thing are still rolling. But I guess this is still all new to me and I'm still feel a little uncertain on where things will go.
Maybe I shouldn't over-think and enjoy the moment.
You need to seek professional help.
They called me a wacko, but come on man, reread what you typed out. Think about that. Being alone is a nightmare? For just a few days or weeks? Even I can see that's backwards thinking. Obviously if you are good enough to be with a girl, then you should be good enough to be with yourself for a while. There's no difference between those two situations except for there's one less person in the room with you.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
General rant, not aimed at you Midnights.
Hell yeah there are plenty of ways to do it wrong. Whats the point of getting a girls number if shes going to flake or give you the wrong one? Thats my main problem with Simple Pickup. Theyre there for entertainment purposes but they dont fucking teach you anything. Theyll show you extreme situations and then are like, yeah go do that, just normal. Okay well what does that mean? What the fuck is normal? Why does this work vs that etc. Im going to be brutally honest; going up and talking to a girl is incredibly easy, going up and asking for her number is easy. Being good at it is not. They give dudes a sense that its going to be effortless and a quick fix to their problems; and when they inevitably fail, they think its a scam. Thats where I can understand peoples skepticism that pickup works because it isnt that simple. There is so much that goes on in between beginner to experienced, and I wish SP would go into that; but they never will because it goes against their entire brand.
http://youtu.be/Pz66Fno18lw?hd=1&t=3m31s
Hell yeah there are plenty of ways to do it wrong. Whats the point of getting a girls number if shes going to flake or give you the wrong one? Thats my main problem with Simple Pickup. Theyre there for entertainment purposes but they dont fucking teach you anything. Theyll show you extreme situations and then are like, yeah go do that, just normal. Okay well what does that mean? What the fuck is normal? Why does this work vs that etc. Im going to be brutally honest; going up and talking to a girl is incredibly easy, going up and asking for her number is easy. Being good at it is not. They give dudes a sense that its going to be effortless and a quick fix to their problems; and when they inevitably fail, they think its a scam. Thats where I can understand peoples skepticism that pickup works because it isnt that simple. There is so much that goes on in between beginner to experienced, and I wish SP would go into that; but they never will because it goes against their entire brand.
http://youtu.be/Pz66Fno18lw?hd=1&t=3m31s
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
So whats a good way to, shall we call it initiate physical contact when the two of you are sitting on a couch or whatever? Anything besides the cliche "put your arm over her shoulder" deal?
Nerds with Guns
Banned
Everything I want to say to you would get me banned. So I will just say this.
Why are you always so negative?
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Even if he is fake I like the way he speaks to people.
Arjen
Member
Just touch her leg and arm briefly when you talk, see how she responds, go from there.
Honestly if you have a connection it doens't really matter, she's probaly waiting for you to do something, just don't start groping her like an idiot.
I'm just a realist. Do you hear the shit that guy is saying? He's so quiet, and he's mumbling over his words. He doesn't look confident at all. Look at how much that model is giving him. She's spilling her guts out over every single question, even ones with simple answers. Even if she was into him, she wouldn't be giving answers as long as War and Peace about some of these random-ass questions.
Why is it that I always have to be the ones that sees this shit? I mean come on, it's not even as realistic as that other pick-up artist group.
Vermillion
Banned
Hm. Besides that, I have no idea. She can initiate contact by putting her head on your shoulder, though.
Vermillion
Banned
Wrong. I've learned in personal experience, just starting to talk to a girl in the first place helps. They will give you longer answers than you expect.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
No you're not.
Because you haven't done shit Izick. You're this black hole of depression that must suck the life out of anything even remotely positive. If you were out there approaching girls then maybe I could listen to your opinion. But since I know you haven't done anything it's hard to take you seriously when all you do is scream fake and how this doesn't work.
This is how I know you're inexperienced.
Don't over-think, enjoy the moment. That's what life is.
Hmmm. Cautious way is getting your butt close to hers so your thighs are touching, and if she's cool she'll probably put her thigh up on yours or something will come of it. She may rest her head on your shoulder too, that's a more slow paced version.
Sometimes asking to lie down on the couch (if you have enough space) and have her lie in front of you. Just like "I'd like to lie down".
Usually when I got stuff to work say we were holding hands for a while and I make a direct offer. "Want to lay down on the couch?"
Grope her thighs & butt first. Never grope breasts first.
He had balls for sure. The rest was pretty cringe worthy though
He's a fan of keys to the vip? Couldn't tell, really. Those guys have similar outlooks on everything to how Brent views the world. They have great stuff here. The show is pretty hilarious too, especially the judges.I couldn't bother with watching more than 8 minutes or so but it seemed authentic to me. The guy obviously knew the camera was there but she seemed genuinely surprised by the encounter at first, or she's a great actress. I suspect you put too much weight in the word model here. She's just a woman. He also seemed to know precisely what to say as he wasn't stumbling for words either, which I interpreted as being confident. As for being the only one who sees the shit, maybe it's you who can't see the truth? We're not posting this stuff to screw you over. It's pretty clear you are not a believer yet, but it also seems like you aren't even willing to take the "risk" of becoming one either. What do you have to lose?
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
Repeating this over and over is doing you good, how?Right, obviously on the last point
Finn of Ooo
Member
So my first day being single it was actually amazing how easy it was to talk to a couple of girls I had never met before. I think my problem was being in a shitty relationship where I was so stressed I couldn't socially function. I think I came to this thread a little prematurely but thanks anyways for the advice guys and keep up the good work.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
The fastest turnaround in this threads history. I really hope to have a true success story to post in here one day.
So, I talked to a therapist the other day. Not gonna stick with her (she was very airy fairy and into spiritual healing; not what I need) and she thought the reason I hadn't been on a date before was because I had no "mentors" growing up, but I don't think that's my problem... I live vicariously through lots of my friends and my younger sister and such, so it's not like I'm dating-clueless. I just...never have them.
I don't know why the typical response to me asking a guy out is "ew, god, no. Wow, no", but...I dunno. Have a different therapist on Thursday and she seems more down to earth so... Guess I'll see.
Anyway, you guys have been witness to a lot of my crazy, so I'll let you know how it goes, eventually. Maybe someday a man will find me non-repulsive! That's the goal. Haha. Me happy and maybe being able to date someone.
I don't know why the typical response to me asking a guy out is "ew, god, no. Wow, no", but...I dunno. Have a different therapist on Thursday and she seems more down to earth so... Guess I'll see.
Anyway, you guys have been witness to a lot of my crazy, so I'll let you know how it goes, eventually. Maybe someday a man will find me non-repulsive! That's the goal. Haha. Me happy and maybe being able to date someone.
Finn of Ooo
Member
Eh I don't want to claim I made some major inprovement, just dropped about 110 pounds of emotional baggage haha.
Vermillion
Banned
How many guys have actually said something like that to you? Girls haven't said it straight out like that to me, but I've seen it on quite a few faces. Screw them
Last I checked, GAF loves you! There's obviously lots of guys who like the you, you show online.So, uh, I had a date this weekend. We only planned to meet up for some drinks at a fancy place in town, talk and get to know each other. I ordered in a bottle of wine and ffffuuuuck what a boring chick. I was the one talking basically, coming up with new things to talk about etc.
Anyway, for some weird reason we met last night at my place.
I showed her my apartment, she sat down on the couch while i was getting snacks and drinks in the kitchen - then we watched a movie. I said "i got alot of movies, so maybe you wanna see a movie you haven't seen before?" - and she picked Cloverfield. At the end of the movie i asked her what she thought of it and she said "that was a weird movie!". I said - "well did you like it or was it bad... I mean, what do you mean by weird?", and she told me the "weird" part and i facepalmed (mentally). After that i put on some music (Atmosphere) and she instantaneously said "eeh could you put on something else?". That girl kept racking up bad scores that entire evening. I got so bored i _faked_ being tired and said that i got a thing in the morning and that we should call it.
... She texted me like 5 minutes after she left and - "did you think i was superboring? i felt i was...". I didn't answer it and today she texted me again and said that she wants to see me again. I don't... WHAT? How can she not see how boring those dates were?
Anyway, for some weird reason we met last night at my place.
I showed her my apartment, she sat down on the couch while i was getting snacks and drinks in the kitchen - then we watched a movie. I said "i got alot of movies, so maybe you wanna see a movie you haven't seen before?" - and she picked Cloverfield. At the end of the movie i asked her what she thought of it and she said "that was a weird movie!". I said - "well did you like it or was it bad... I mean, what do you mean by weird?", and she told me the "weird" part and i facepalmed (mentally). After that i put on some music (Atmosphere) and she instantaneously said "eeh could you put on something else?". That girl kept racking up bad scores that entire evening. I got so bored i _faked_ being tired and said that i got a thing in the morning and that we should call it.
... She texted me like 5 minutes after she left and - "did you think i was superboring? i felt i was...". I didn't answer it and today she texted me again and said that she wants to see me again. I don't... WHAT? How can she not see how boring those dates were?
How many guys have actually said something like that to you? Girls haven't said it straight out like that to me, but I've seen it on quite a few faces. Screw them
I'm at about four or five now who actually said "wow, oh, no. Yeah, no."
And quite a few others who make the "oh god how can I get out of here????" face.
Haha. Oh well. Maybe therapy will help.
NihonTiger90
Member
Lee, I hope things wil get better for you, definitely. I have this feeling they will in the future and you've just gotten stuck with some rotten eggs so far that are completely superficial.
I'm calling bullshit not to sound like an asshole which I do. where in Canada do you live?
I hope they will. If anything, even if the therapist can't figure out how to get guys to stop thinking I'm gross, at least I'll learn to be happy on my own.
Vancouver area.
Well, your own happiness is always the best place to start at, we say this here all the time! But I agree with the other guys, they must be the rotten eggs of Vancouver. You'll always be welcome in here to talk if you need it, you know it.I hope they will. If anything, even if the therapist can't figure out how to get guys to stop thinking I'm gross, at least I'll learn to be happy on my own.
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