HAHA, it happens. Thanks for sharing the story.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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HAHA, it happens. Thanks for sharing the story.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
lol this fuckery again. How about this, you all stick to what works for you; and we'll stick to what works for us.
Deal?
I didn't think so.
ClovingWestbrook
Banned
I was responding to puddles calling me out. And just because it may work doesn't mean it isnt bullshit.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
If I told you this is what pickup is, would you still despise it?
http://youtu.be/KHCFsE6Tz0M?hd=1
If so, why? Because this is what I do. No lies, no tricks, no manipulation.
Vermillion
Banned
You know what? In the past two or so days, I've learned something about GAF. Everyone's arguing something different. No one realizes it, but what one person thinks isn't the opposite of the side that they're arguing with. So everyone's strawmanning and creating arguments that no one really understands, and no one reaches an agreement.
With PUA, neither side actually agrees on what PUA is. Devo posts links of what she thinks PUA is, Nerds posts his videos, and what no one realizes is that neither of them are at any point talking about the same thing. You'd think they were arguing with people only they could see. But no one realizes that and the arguments go on for pages and pages and pages, and never goes anywhere, because no one ever knew what the fuck they were talking about anyways.
With PUA, neither side actually agrees on what PUA is. Devo posts links of what she thinks PUA is, Nerds posts his videos, and what no one realizes is that neither of them are at any point talking about the same thing. You'd think they were arguing with people only they could see. But no one realizes that and the arguments go on for pages and pages and pages, and never goes anywhere, because no one ever knew what the fuck they were talking about anyways.
ClovingWestbrook
Banned
The very fact that you use 'tools' and 'technique', that you 'game' to simply speak to a person is what I find funny and why I call it bullshit.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
I know exactly what I'm talking about; people who have never done pickup in their life post the first link they see in Google search. I'm not even saying it isn't horrible bulllshit but it sure as hell doesn't represent everybody like everyone seems to be trying to stereotype. And that's the point I'm trying to make.
You are so fucking dense. The majority of people will walk outside, see a pretty girl walk past, wish they would say something and never do. I do it so I'm the bad guy. Your logic.
ClovingWestbrook
Banned
Yea, because THAT is what I said. Talk about being dense.
You do it using a set of rules, tools, and bullshit masqueraded in terms like 'gaming', 'kino', 'kiss closes', 'number closes', 'bounce backs'. You have idiot savant like hero's like Mystery who don't see women as regular human beings that can be spoken to like their male counterparts, but require some patronizing bullshit philosphical language. See an attractive person you want to speak to? Here is a thought, GO UP AND SAY HELLO. No bullshit. No kino. No 'kiss closes'. NO GAME. Just normal socializing behavior. Unfortunately for many who hold a membership in the PUA community, that is too much to ask.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
Never said anything about Mystery, I don't follow him or his method, nor do I like him. All he is accredited with is kick starting the community some ten plus years ago.
No one is saying this either. Going up and saying a girl is pretty is all I do, conversation goes from there. Unless you think that is patronizing bullshit philosophical language, in which case I can't help you.
You. Dense. As. Fuck.
You can't get this stereotype out of your head about what you think happens so I'm going to quit trying.
Perfect post to be banned after.
Nothing really, alcohol had just influenced me badly last night, ha.
Alright I guess.
I surprised myself by speaking to some girls at the bus stop the other night, but I'm still unable to at a pub or whatever.
I think there must be some sort of mental barrier holding me back, I'm not sure.
It's a pain.
If she ALREADY knows she likes you, you're set, but you don't want to come off as needy just as she is getting to know you. That's the whole thing.
Girl that already knows she likes you but she never knew you liked her -> you can start obsessing all you want over her and it's romantic & amazing to her.
Girl that doesn't know you at all -> you start obsessing over her and you're an annoying, needy, weak, inexperienced, and potential psychopathic rapist murderer.
:lol Amazing conversationalists on this dating site I found. I'm not very good at knowing what to write but geez.
Me: Hi, tell me, who are you?
Her: Hi, my name is X, you?"
Me: Alex, nice to meet you.
Her: Ok
Second girl is even worse.
Me: Hi. So you're a painter, you mean like a starving artist dreaming of the Louvre?
Her: ?
I don't even.
Me: Hi, tell me, who are you?
Her: Hi, my name is X, you?"
Me: Alex, nice to meet you.
Her: Ok
Second girl is even worse.
Me: Hi. So you're a painter, you mean like a starving artist dreaming of the Louvre?
Her: ?
I don't even.
:lol Amazing conversationalists on this dating site I found. I'm not very good at knowing what to write but geez.
Me: Hi, tell me, who are you?
Her: Hi, my name is X, you?"
Me: Alex, nice to meet you.
Her: Ok
Second girl is even worse.
Me: Hi. So you're a painter, you mean like a starving artist dreaming of the Louvre?
Her: ?
I don't even.
Compelling and rich
Very.
Yeah. I'm not sure if I should bother to respond to either message when that's all they're willing to say.
ClovingWestbrook
Banned
:lol Amazing conversationalists on this dating site I found. I'm not very good at knowing what to write but geez.
Me: Hi, tell me, who are you?
Her: Hi, my name is X, you?"
Me: Alex, nice to meet you.
Her: Ok
Second girl is even worse.
Me: Hi. So you're a painter, you mean like a starving artist dreaming of the Louvre?
Her: ?
I don't even.
I have to ask and I don't mean to be rude, but you honestly can't see that you came across trying WAY too hard with that line?
Also, my opinion, but the emoticons are not needed.
I see your point, yeah. I was just trying to have some fun though. A bit far fetched joke perhaps, but it seemed better than to ask "so uh, what do you paint herp derp?". As for smilies, that I agree with. I always abuse them, whether I'm on dating sites, facebook, msn, gaf or skype.
ClovingWestbrook
Banned
This is just me, so hopefully the women who post here can give their opinion, but in my experience, any type of line, especially ONLINE, doesn't work. It's one thing to use it in person (I still disagree with it) but at least there, the other person can visually recognize whether you're being playful, serious, nervous and have nothing else to say, etc.
Thus the need for a smiley, but you have a good point, yeah. She obviously didn't get it anyway. Good practice though and she responded technically, that's more than I used to get on another site. I can hold my own in a conversation with someone, but online is something else, it seems.
:lol Amazing conversationalists on this dating site I found. I'm not very good at knowing what to write but geez.
Me: Hi, tell me, who are you?
Her: Hi, my name is X, you?"
Me: Alex, nice to meet you.
Her: Ok
Second girl is even worse.
Me: Hi. So you're a painter, you mean like a starving artist dreaming of the Louvre?
Her: ?
I don't even.
I assume these are IM conversations?
I never even bothered with that. It's probably better to stick to the emails where both you and her can take time to think of a good response.
IM conversations with a stranger usually start out kinda stupid and awkward. Every time I got an IM it was always dumb and I just logged off right away. Usually just "sup" or "hi" girls tried to start things off with. lol
...I'm so damn picky
bye Nerds with Guns...see where your attitude got you? hehe good riddance
Out of Working Order
Member
I've just signed up to a dating site, and man is it depressing. Why is it that all women have been literally everywhere over the world, and work as managers/some profession/own their own business/some other fantastic job? I work a supermarket job and haven't travelled anywhere outside my own country. And everyone seems to be a social butterfly with friends to hang out with. I am sure they'd expect a partner to be just that too.
I am a billy-no-mates with poor social skills, and especially with women.
How am I going to be the least bit interesting to them? I feel the odds are really stacked against me. I am never approached by women, and never find opportunities to chat to them, so I am looking at dating websites as a last resort. Just seems like I am well out of my depth, even there.
I am a billy-no-mates with poor social skills, and especially with women.
How am I going to be the least bit interesting to them? I feel the odds are really stacked against me. I am never approached by women, and never find opportunities to chat to them, so I am looking at dating websites as a last resort. Just seems like I am well out of my depth, even there.
Ditch the shit attitude and maybe you'll get somewhere.
There is a reason so many of the women on these sites fashion their profile to act like they are world travelers and loads of fun. They are looking for free trips from wealthy dudes. Whole thing is literally an industry for females its disgusting. One of the guys i know at work just went on a date with this one girl. Kinda attractive. She literally said 'you know this place is really nice (restaurant), I'd love for you to take me out to others even nicer." What a bitch. Thankfully he dropped her quick.
No, not really man. There are plenty of women on the sites without agendas beyond finding a cool guy. Like anywhere, there are bad apples.
I went on 3 dates with a girl when I was using OKC and I ended up paying for everything.
The first date, I felt obligated to pay just because of the social norms that guys usually pay. But after that, I was hoping she'd speak up and before I even had a chance to bring out my wallet she'd be like "I'll get this one" or something.
Nope. I'm sure on the first date she spotted my AMEX card and then I was screwed from that point on. lol...
In the course of the 3 days, I paid for dinner, lunch (twice), mini golf, a movie (she insisted we saw a movie...), and admission fees for a park.
:lol Amazing conversationalists on this dating site I found. I'm not very good at knowing what to write but geez.
Me: Hi, tell me, who are you?
Her: Hi, my name is X, you?"
Me: Alex, nice to meet you.
Her: Ok
Second girl is even worse.
Me: Hi. So you're a painter, you mean like a starving artist dreaming of the Louvre?
Her: ?
I don't even.
no offence, but these lines aren't good. Don't try to come up with something, be more natural. The key to this is to sound "down to earth".
edit: the wrong word
Will do. It's dangerous pursuing territory so it's thin ice, this whole thing, I feel. Of course, neither conversation was in English.
:lol Amazing conversationalists on this dating site I found. I'm not very good at knowing what to write but geez.
Me: Hi, tell me, who are you?
Her: Hi, my name is X, you?"
Me: Alex, nice to meet you.
Her: Ok
Second girl is even worse.
Me: Hi. So you're a painter, you mean like a starving artist dreaming of the Louvre?
Her: ?
I don't even.
Try being more fun, losing emoticons outside of when you really know a girl, and having more in common so you're able to ask something more interesting than their name.
Why did you message a girl just to ask her name? You actually thought she was cute right, or was there something more you should have asked her? If you just thought she was cute and you want to have sex with her, say you want to fuck her (because seriously, if that's all you want, at least have the confidence to say it, and if she thinks you're attractive she'll find you all the more attractive for coming out and saying it, if that's not what she wants she wasn't the right choice anyways).
I think the first girl is completely justified in her 'Ok.' response. The 2nd girl? Well, I agree with the guy that you tried to be too clever (well, it wasn't that clever). Don't strain, relax. Don't try to construct something clever, simple, dumb and funny to you is best. The first thing that pops into your head.
I'm not saying all this to bring you down, I've sent out a lot of equally shitty messages, but don't blame these girls for your failure to communicate in an interesting way. It's on you. But don't think you can't improve either, you will.
I think I have friend-zoned one of my girl friends and I don't know how I feel about it. We chill a lot, joke around, talk all the time, even had some drunken hook-ups before...but I'm not sure if I want to take it to the next level.
We never talked about being in a relationship, and when others mention it to us we just laugh it off but something is definitely there.
We've known each other for the past couple years, and I've even became good friends with her friends, and my friends are friends with her friends...it's pretty much just one big good group.
And I'm wondering if it will be worth it to throw that all away. I have never been on this side of the friend zone before, and I hate to think that if we get into a nasty break up that I will lose contact with her and her friends.
Is a life long friend better than a possible relationship?
We never talked about being in a relationship, and when others mention it to us we just laugh it off but something is definitely there.
We've known each other for the past couple years, and I've even became good friends with her friends, and my friends are friends with her friends...it's pretty much just one big good group.
And I'm wondering if it will be worth it to throw that all away. I have never been on this side of the friend zone before, and I hate to think that if we get into a nasty break up that I will lose contact with her and her friends.
Is a life long friend better than a possible relationship?
Good friends; those that genuinely care about you and stick around even when you're not close are hard to come by. In my experience at least.
Wait, you've fucked her, but you think you've been friend zoned? Why? Because if she's avoiding your physical affection that means she's drifting away, not friend zoning you. Also, friend zone isn't a thing. It just is when a girl isn't attracted to you... but you fucked her. Yeah, I know drunk, she wasn't passed out right? Just checking. Because that's rape.
How would you throw away a friendship by seeing if you want a relationship? Is she willing to have the relationship?
#1. if you go friends and you're attracted to her you'll regret it.
#2. if you're meant to be friends the relationship and even a break up shouldn't destroy that friendship. If it does that means you probably weren't meant to be friends either.
#3. When she finds some guy and gets in that relationship she won't have as much time for your friendship, if any.
no no...I mean that I think I've put her into MY friend zone, and we've never gone that far.
Oh, well then. If you haven't even started a relationship and you think you want to friend zone her that sounds like friendship is the right choice, wholly. If it was even a borderline case like 'I want to cuddle her / sex her sometimes' I'd say think about it a bit, but I think the relationship thing should be clear to you (when you've met the right person, you'll feel pretty good about relationshipping them).
My girlfriend just left me to head back to her city.
Now I truly know how hard a long distance relationship can be.
I am alone.
She is my girlfriend, my best friend. I never had any friends. None during high school. None that I could actually talk and have a conversation with. Simply acquaintances, and now my girlfriend is back off to her home town.
Next time I will see her will be around Christmas.
GAF just any help & support would be greatly appreciated
Now I truly know how hard a long distance relationship can be.
I am alone.
She is my girlfriend, my best friend. I never had any friends. None during high school. None that I could actually talk and have a conversation with. Simply acquaintances, and now my girlfriend is back off to her home town.
Next time I will see her will be around Christmas.
GAF just any help & support would be greatly appreciated
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
My girlfriend just left me to head back to her city.
Now I truly know how hard a long distance relationship can be.
I am alone.
She is my girlfriend, my best friend. I never had any friends. None during high school. None that I could actually talk and have a conversation with. Simply acquaintances, and now my girlfriend is back off to her home town.
Next time I will see her will be around Christmas.
GAF just any help & support would be greatly appreciated
OddSpoon I believe the best thing for you to do is to go out and try to meet new people and try to find new sociable hobbies that you would enjoy doing. Try to go out a bit so you can invest more time into being around others than just focusing on one person and also use your spare time on areas you would like to improve your health and life style you think that might need looking into. Doing these things will help you out
OddSpoon I believe the best thing for you to do is to go out and try to meet new people and try to find new sociable hobbies that you would enjoy doing. Try to go out a bit so you can invest more time into being around others than just focusing on one person and also use your spare time on areas you would like to improve your health and life style you think that might need looking into. Doing these things will help you out
Well I did get a part time job in June, in which I will be returning to for a few months.
After that I start up college.
Doing things will keep me sane, and just be productive.
Thank you man
OddSpoon I believe the best thing for you to do is to go out and try to meet new people and try to find new sociable hobbies that you would enjoy doing. Try to go out a bit so you can invest more time into being around others than just focusing on one person and also use your spare time on areas you would like to improve your health and life style you think that might need looking into. Doing these things will help you out
I agree. I don't mean to be "that guy", but if anything ever happens between you two (or she betrays your trust) you're going to be devastated.
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
There you go then, you will be going to college meeting new people and making friends and soon have a part time job again to keep you focus. For these next few months I think you should try and look for something now, go to some social club in your area and see how that goes. Just do something and not lay around ok
Thanks, you're right. The phrasing of my "who are you?" was intentional, to see how she would interpret it. Her Ok might've been justified but I wasn't even asking for her name per se, as I already knew it (both of us had our names as the site nickname). I wanted to know who she IS, tell me something intriguing, you know? That didn't come across obviously. Good point on just being honest about my intentions though, might try that. Kinda goes against my current beliefs but maybe.
As for the second girl, yeah it was kinda poor. It was the first thing that popped into my head but I didn't word it very well at all, now that I look at it again. Don't worry, you didn't bring me down! If anything, these two events back to back is spurring me to learn more about it. I'm not very good at "text game" or whatever either so I know where to focus now.
My girlfriend just left me to head back to her city.
Now I truly know how hard a long distance relationship can be.
I am alone.
She is my girlfriend, my best friend. I never had any friends. None during high school. None that I could actually talk and have a conversation with. Simply acquaintances, and now my girlfriend is back off to her home town.
Next time I will see her will be around Christmas.
GAF just any help & support would be greatly appreciated
How long have you two been in a relationship?
Try to see her before. December is a long time away.
Alright, I don't mean to be a prick here, but this should be encouraging. You are about to go back to COLLEGE! This is awesome, and you will love it. Hang in there, get back to campus and all your ills will melt away if you put in the effort.
You will rock.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Yeah... no.
People are interesting. That's it.
Doing things just to impress the opposite sex is a terrible attitude to have.
Honestly, I wish I wasn't with my ex when I started college. I'm not saying you should break up, but what I mean is that you will meet people and be able to participate in social events.
hawkshockey11
Banned
My girlfriend just left me to head back to her city.
Now I truly know how hard a long distance relationship can be.
I am alone.
She is my girlfriend, my best friend. I never had any friends. None during high school. None that I could actually talk and have a conversation with. Simply acquaintances, and now my girlfriend is back off to her home town.
Next time I will see her will be around Christmas.
GAF just any help & support would be greatly appreciated
Don't do what I did and go through the whole first semester of college obsessed with my long distance girlfriend to the extent that I did absolutely no social activities at school and met no one. It just makes it so much worse when things go bad.
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