Suppose you made the same argument for fag - that it does not always mean "a gay man" colloquially; sometimes it is just a shorthand for someone who is incompetent, someone who did or said something lame, someone who is not sufficiently masculine. And this is not a mere hypothetical; we have had actual GAFfers argue that it is okay for people to say fag and faggot because of this in topics in the recent (2011) past.
Would you buy this argument for allowing posters to use fag or faggot? Would you expect me to?
Absolutely not. That's my point: I feel 'cunt' is culturally distinct from words with intrinsically racist or sexist definitions.
'Cunt' as an insult is not inherently gendered. It can be, but in practise, it's generally used to trump 'fuck'; even in North America. Fuck' has transcended its root definition as an adjective. 'Fuck-head' has no meaning beyond the combination of an offensive word and a noun with intent to insult. It casts no aspersions on those who enjoy fucking, yet as an insult it has power due to the cultural weight bestowed upon the word in and of itself. I would argue that 'cunt' has similarly transcended its meaning as a noun when used as a curse.
The word 'cunt' has many facets. It's what my Canadian wife calls her vagina, because she feels 'pussy' is infantile. Many North American feminists are trying to reclaim the word not primarily from its status as a gendered insult, but because they want to remove its vulgarity as a synonym for their genitals and return its eroticism. They want to reduce its linguistic weight and let it stand alongside 'cock' in common use. 'Cunt' evolved alongside 'cock' and 'fuck'; none of which were considered obscene when they made their way into the Anglo-Saxon lexicon. Meanings of words change and evolve - 'faggot' has no usage in contemporary English that is not a homophobic slur - but 'cunt' is not so far gone.
By contrast, someone who claimed that 'faggot' was still being commonly used to describe a bundle of twigs wouldn't have a leg to stand on. It isn't, precisely because its definition as a slur has buried any innocuous meaning it once had. And like the phrase 'that's so gay', it
only has power to insult when defined as a homophobic slur. The same cannot be said of 'cunt' - like 'fuck', in the context of an insult, it has become a meaningless vulgarity, and is more often than not used as such.
I've honestly only heard 'cunt' used as a gendered insult by redneck-types over the age of 50. In younger North Americans, it seems to be evolving into something much more British: a multi-purpose swear word with more power than 'fuck', and an insult with no gender bias. It is not synonymous with hate speech, and as others have said, I feel that it's culturally
less gendered than 'bitch'.
My whole point of view on this topic is necessarily subjective. I can't point to anything but my own experience and the type of usage seen on GAF to lend weight to my position. I accept we probably won't agree about its place on the forum, but thanks for giving me a chance to defend the word.