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Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!

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Magnus said:
Executive summary of my love life, entitled I Need Help.

Had my longest relationship ever this summer (a whole two months) which I ended because the dude sucked at communicating and we had nothing in common.

I'm rapidly allowing myself to fall in love with a great, close friend who just exited a 14-year relationship with another good friend (met them as a couple). This is horribly bad news, but I can't stop my mind from going there. Don't worry, I ain't gonna do nuffin.

Every other first date I've had this year ends with me being bored out of my fucking mind, or physically, TOTALLY unattracted to the guy across the table.

I'm head over heels for many of my straight friends; I could see myself with half of them, if only they played for my team. Hardly ever seem to be attracted to other gay guys I meet.

And every day, my job puts me face to face with happy fucking couples everywhere I look.

Slowly going crazy.

I'm 28 next week and have never been able to even use the word boyfriend with anyone.

Someone tell me it'll be alright. Lie to me. Lol.
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I know that feel bro. Didn't have my first serious relationship until I was 30. I'm on my 4th year now and I'm not totally comfortable with the BF word, but that's probably more an issue of my own. I was single with some fake relationships in my 20s and I just got sick of it. Being in a relationship isn't perfect remember. Trust me when I say I've had to sacrifice alot. I don't meet very many gay guys or want to date many of them that i do. and I don't really believe in the idea of a gay 'community' .

Sometimes I wish women didn't exist and humans were all gay men and we could some how still procreate. It wouldn't necessarily make finding a good partner easier, but would take some guess work out of it.
 
Natetan said:
Sometimes I wish women didn't exist and humans were all gay men
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55zgY.gif
 
Natetan said:
Sometimes I wish women didn't exist and humans were all gay men and we could some how still procreate. It wouldn't necessarily make finding a good partner easier, but would take some guess work out of it.
Click to expand...

Well if the world was like that there'd be no such thing as gay. I once thought that the world would be a better place if everyone was handsome are beautiful, but then that'd be boring just like having only one gender imo.

I was lucky enough that i'm bi so I don't have your problem, I was also lucky enough to live in an area that people weren't afraid of being gay ;). See my problem isn't finding other gay guys its about finding other hot gay guys when the majority of them are straight which is sadly a reality that isn't going to change so we have to search far and wide my peeps.

If you want to find gay people you have to look online most of the time as some areas either just aren't that populated with us are they are still in the closet. If I really want someone I just go to gay gamer websites if i'm in the mood to date a guy.
 
Maybe having only gay men in the world would be a disaster, but it'd be nice for a sudden spike of gay people for a bit. There would be more "fish in the sea", and hell it might help with population control.

tamaster92 said:
You should whip him into shape, he was complaining about the Ps3 earlier!
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I don't remember this happening. :p
 
Dudes, if you have trouble finding gay guys just move to New York. You can't walk 1 block without bumping into 10 of them.

As for not having had a bf at 28, I wouldn't worry. Thing is the more you'll focus on it, the less likely it's gonna happen. You have the advantage of not having your biological clock ticking.
 
Magnus said:
Executive summary of my love life, entitled I Need Help.

Had my longest relationship ever this summer (a whole two months) which I ended because the dude sucked at communicating and we had nothing in common.

I'm rapidly allowing myself to fall in love with a great, close friend who just exited a 14-year relationship with another good friend (met them as a couple). This is horribly bad news, but I can't stop my mind from going there. Don't worry, I ain't gonna do nuffin.

Every other first date I've had this year ends with me being bored out of my fucking mind, or physically, TOTALLY unattracted to the guy across the table.

I'm head over heels for many of my straight friends; I could see myself with half of them, if only they played for my team. Hardly ever seem to be attracted to other gay guys I meet.

And every day, my job puts me face to face with happy fucking couples everywhere I look.

Slowly going crazy.

I'm 28 next week and have never been able to even use the word boyfriend with anyone.

Someone tell me it'll be alright. Lie to me. Lol.
Click to expand...
This is my life except at 26. Especially the attracted to straight friends part. They find it endearing but I NEED A MAN lol
 
Alcoori said:
Dudes, if you have trouble finding gay guys just move to New York. You can't walk 1 block without bumping into 10 of them.

As for not having had a bf at 28, I wouldn't worry. Thing is the more you'll focus on it, the less likely it's gonna happen. You have the advantage of not having your biological clock ticking.
Click to expand...

I have no trouble meeting them. Nothing ever fucking clicks though. Rarely anyway.

And man, I know you're trying to help, but I've always followed the 'relax, don't focus so hard and try for it and it'll eventually happen' advice all throughout my life. For men, for jobs, for school, for everything. Nothing's ever happened in any arena without me going after it and focusing hard on it. I'm nearly 30 and need to make things happen. I want to experience some of this (love, success, a career, a relationship, regular sex!) while I'm still young!
 
Kunan said:
This is my life except at 26. Especially the attracted to straight friends part. They find it endearing but I NEED A MAN lol
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fernoca said:
Story of my life...except I'm 30 and no boyfriends or dates...ever.

Don't worry, things
won't
get better. :p
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You guys gotta find some bi friends or something lol.

I'm bi, and in a relationship with a girl now. However, prior to that when I was single I had a 'friends with benefits' situation with two gay friends of mine (who are a couple). It was pretty cool. My first experience with guys was a threesome...lol.

I'm a long time lurker of this thread...might as well let the cat out of the bag now what the hell.
 
Magnus said:
I have no trouble meeting them. Nothing ever fucking clicks though. Rarely anyway.

And man, I know you're trying to help, but I've always followed the 'relax, don't focus so hard and try for it and it'll eventually happen' advice all throughout my life. For men, for jobs, for school, for everything. Nothing's ever happened in any arena without me going after it and focusing hard on it. I'm nearly 30 and need to make things happen. I want to experience some of this (love, success, a career, a relationship, regular sex!) while I'm still young!
Click to expand...

Listen, I'm gonna play devils advocate but I wonder if the problem lies with you. Perhaps a period of deep self reflection is warranted on your end. I mean, your 28 and the longest you've been with someone is two months? And every one of your dates ends with you bored or you lose interest. I wonder if maybe your self sabotaging or that you have some impossible to reach criteria that you place on the guys you date. Maybe there's this ideal image you have of your dream man that is holding you back. Like many things in life, most developments whether personal or career wise occur through compromise and concession.

I don't know you personally Magnus, but I do have you on Facebook so I know you have a pretty active social life, so your definitely placing yourself in environments that are conducive to you meeting guys, but remove yourself from the situations, observe your actions and thoughts from the outside. The fact you have a thing for a guy who's coming off of a 14 year relationship, or that you have feelings for your straight friends is telling. What does it tell? Well thats what you'll need to unfold and decipher on your own.

28 years is a long time to not have been in any sorta of substantial relationship with anyone. I mean, if you had a couple of two month relationships, then it's another thing, but it isn't is it?

I hope I don't come off as an ass or judgemental, just looking at it from another perspective which I think would be good for you to take. Do I think you should settle, yeah actually, sometimes when we go beyond our ideals we discover that our ideals were impossible. Kinda like someone who only dates muscle dudes with tattoos, or blond twinks, or Latino chullos.
 
UFRA said:
I'm bi,
Click to expand...

What the hell? I've been living a lie all this time!?

Get in the pilots seat, we're going for a ride of dodging Stingers/ING-LA's.
Whenever my connection is fixed. *mumble grumble*

Whatever did happen to Crack? He fell off the face of the Earth, while I'm thinking of the group.
 
UFRA said:
You guys gotta find some bi friends or something lol.

I'm bi, and in a relationship with a girl now. However, prior to that when I was single I had a 'friends with benefits' situation with two gay friends of mine (who are a couple). It was pretty cool. My first experience with guys was a threesome...lol.

I'm a long time lurker of this thread...might as well let the cat out of the bag now what the hell.
Click to expand...

Oh yeah cuz fucking around with bi guys will solve their relationship needs.
 
A.E Suggs said:
If you want to find gay people you have to look online most of the time as some areas either just aren't that populated with us are they are still in the closet. If I really want someone I just go to gay gamer websites if i'm in the mood to date a guy.
Click to expand...

I think people are misunderstanding me. I mean if those straight guys were gay, which they would be if the whe world was gay/no women, then you could date them.

I have had no problem meeting gay people, although finding one I'm compatable with is/was.

I moved to London awhile back and it was pretty unsatisfying. If I was more of a livin stereotype it probably would be a gold mine
 
SpaceBridge said:
Listen, I'm gonna play devils advocate but I wonder if the problem lies with you. Perhaps a period of deep self reflection is warranted on your end. I mean, your 28 and the longest you've been with someone is two months? And every one of your dates ends with you bored or you lose interest. I wonder if maybe your self sabotaging or that you have some impossible to reach criteria that you place on the guys you date. Maybe there's this ideal image you have of your dream man that is holding you back. Like many things in life, most developments whether personal or career wise occur through compromise and concession.

I don't know you personally Magnus, but I do have you on Facebook so I know you have a pretty active social life, so your definitely placing yourself in environments that are conducive to you meeting guys, but remove yourself from the situations, observe your actions and thoughts from the outside. The fact you have a thing for a guy who's coming off of a 14 year relationship, or that you have feelings for your straight friends is telling. What does it tell? Well thats what you'll need to unfold and decipher on your own.

28 years is a long time to not have been in any sorta of substantial relationship with anyone. I mean, if you had a couple of two month relationships, then it's another thing, but it isn't is it?

I hope I don't come off as an ass or judgemental, just looking at it from another perspective which I think would be good for you to take. Do I think you should settle, yeah actually, sometimes when we go beyond our ideals we discover that our ideals were impossible. Kinda like someone who only dates muscle dudes with tattoos, or blond twinks, or Latino chullos.
Click to expand...

I do tend to only crush on impossible-to-attain dudes. The impossibility of it or even the challenge or prohibition of it makes it more enticing...I guess? I'm not consciously self-sabotaging, but I'll admit that I might be doing it subconsciously.

I don't think it's fair to the other guy if I ever 'settle' though. What am I saying to him. 'Yeah, you kind of do it for me. Let's try this out for awhile'. How's that supposed to make him feel? lol. That's the kind of feeling you ascribe to a hookup or casual fling. I feel like I'd need to feel something greater, more of a 'need' if I were to consider being with someone for a relationship. I'm not just talking physical attraction, but a combo of physical/personality. I just haven't really felt that with anyone before, at least, not with eligible gay single dudes, haha.

Don't worry man, you haven't come across too harshly. I do need to re-examine whatever it is I'm doing. Something's not working for sure.

Also, I mean...I have wanted to pursue things with a couple of dates that did go well in the past, but I was shut down the next day. I don't know why I didn't immediately recall those earlier. I guess I've sufficiently suppressed those memories, lol.

I've had two 'relationships' if you want to call them that. Each one was around 6-8 weeks. Felt pretty long, but I know they were just blips on the radar by most standards.

At the end of the day, I feel like I'm being cruel to someone if I'm 'settling'. Obviously I know I ain't gettin a supermodel; I'm no aesthetic prize. But I have to feel genuinely attracted....right? On both a physical and a personality-level. What's the point otherwise?

Some people tell me "just go for it anyway, even if it isn't ideal, just to get the experience". I just don't know how to do that. I'd totally feel like I'm using the other guy. Like I'm being disingenuous if I'm going in knowing fully that I don't expect this to last for very long and we're both just using each other for experience. Feels so hollow.
 
TheSeks said:
What the hell? I've been living a lie all this time!?

Get in the pilots seat, we're going for a ride of dodging Stingers/ING-LA's.
Whenever my connection is fixed. *mumble grumble*

Whatever did happen to Crack? He fell off the face of the Earth, while I'm thinking of the group.
Click to expand...

lol it was no lie, you just never asked! ;)

I know Crak was talking about joining the military, but I do see him online sometimes so I dont know his status with that yet.

SpaceBridge said:
Oh yeah cuz fucking around with bi guys will solve their relationship needs.
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It was kind of a joke, hence the 'lol' but if it was taken in a distasteful way I apologize. The whole comment was more of an excuse to just pop in and say something for once in here.
 
it's so depressing standing in a big crowd (uni piss up) and having no way of doing anything. I tend to only take interest in people who seem somewhat plausible, and I'm looking pretty good at the moment, but it means fuck al because it's just impossible to approach anyone.
 
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