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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
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stn
Member
I bet there's nothing wrong with you, man. I always get told by people how good I look, yet I look awful in pics. Don't do anything drastic because of it.
I think the thought of him seeing sometbing "wrong" with his nose probably comes from him comparing himself with someone else. That's at least sometimes how I feel when I feel like something on my body is wrong or I don't like. It's because I compare myself to someone else and see that it looks good on them and not on me and I want that.
I gave that up and accepted I am me and love how my body came out to be. Because if I was to ever correct something on my body because of what I wanted from someone else's body. I know I would never feel satisfied and want something else fixed or corrected. An endless cycle of finding faults.
Give it up dude and accept it for who you are. You are you. Embrace your face structure and love it. And I'm sure and bet there is someone out there that would prefer your nose rather then their own.
I can change it though! I mean it's not easy by any means, but it's something bad about myself. I just don't understand the whole "accept and just love yourself!" thing. It doesn't make sense to me. There is no acceptance. I am me, that is fact. I can not love myself, I am myself. I wish to improve myself to have the best life possible. If looking better substantially makes life quality higher, why not?
If you have an awesome social life and everyone loves you. Why would you change something that doesn't need to be fixed? I don't understand.
Devolution
Member
People who feel the need to do these things to themselves are insecure about more than just their looks 9 times out of 10, so the surgery, while it might make them look better, won't fix the actual insecurity. It's a temp fix. They get more attention, a confidence boost but once that wanes they look for something else that needs to change.
Vermillion
Banned
then you will always be miserable until you understand it.
if you "fix" your nose, you'll find something else wrong with you. It's all in your head
You don't understand precisely because you don't love yourself and who you are.
That is what needs to change, not your nose. Psychological change > physical change.
Devolution
Member
Both my serious bfs didn't/don't have perfect noses. I have a bump on mine. A nose is the least of someone's problems.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I can't believe Izick complains so much. Every time he posts here he's talking about a party he went to or something. You got a foot in the door already man. Some of us are standing outside.
Been going out with different girls. I'm starting to remember what it was like with my ex. Having a pretty and sweet girl too fool around with and be with, but something was missing. I haven't fooled around with any I've dated.
Self love is the only thing that makes sense.
I don't see anything wrong with improving yourself, if it takes surgery or whatever then so be it. You should get some outside advice first though, I used to think I needed a nose job because I hate the way it looks in pictures, until some chick told me to stop being a dumbass, bigger noses supposedly add more character.
Not only is my nose big but it has a permabump on the right side that looks like a nose ring lol you could see it in the 2nd pic
Devolution
Member
Indeed, although having said that you're further ahead than me, so at least that's something man. Over the years since the start of the first thread I've simply gone backwards, and I'm keep going backwards now.
Oh and is that you in your picture?
Also speaking of noses I hate my nose, but I know many hate theirs too.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I'm not further ahead of anyone right now really. Sure I can talk to some girls and maybe even get them to think I'm interesting but unless their idea of a good time is sitting around my room listening to ASAP Rocky I got nothing else to offer right now. I need to get a handle on partying/drugs/clubs and stuff like that because a lot of the girls I seem to meet are into that kind of thing.
PflargBlarg
Member
Slow the fuck down for a second. Why are you going for girls who are so very different from you? There's nothing wrong with doing things to improve yourself but if you were actually into going to parties and clubs with drugs present you would already be doing that. Some may disagree with me, but doing things that don't interest you at all just to get in with girls rubs me the wrong way.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I'm interested I just haven't found a way to commit myself to it. I don't meet enough new people to really get the ball rolling.
Devolution
Member
Well that was random.
Let's say i'm in a christmas spirit! Thoughtfull, you know.
holy fuck last night was insane. Ended up being me, my friend, and her blonde friend who I also happened to know. Was drinking and hitting on the blonde the whole night, because I asked her if my friend was into me. Got the answer that she only sees me as a friend and is only into black guys anyways. That's when I started drinking pretty heavily, and turned the game waaaay up on this girl. From what I remember, I had 3 budlights, 2 shots of rumple minze, 2 vodka redbulls, some red drink this guy gave me for saying "excuse me, sir" instead of just pushing past him, and a shot of jack to end my night. On the way home, the blonde girl was asking me if I wanted to fuck her, asking me if I thought she was hot, etc. Of course I said yes, so she climbed in the back seat and was ready to go. Not quite sure what happened, but I do know that the other friend put a stop to that, and the rest of the way home the blonde girl was calling me a freak and saying for me to stay away from her. Maybe I molested her, I don't know...but when we got back to the house everything was all fun and games again.
Oh, and I was thirsty, so I walked into the house to get some water, and the whole time my friend's mom was screaming for me to get out of the house lol. I felt kinda bad, but just walked straight out and drove home like a boss (I regret this), and parked like a boss halfway in front of the driveway.
Never getting that drunk again. Incapacitates me the rest of the next day, and it's happened one too many times.
Oh, and I was thirsty, so I walked into the house to get some water, and the whole time my friend's mom was screaming for me to get out of the house lol. I felt kinda bad, but just walked straight out and drove home like a boss (I regret this), and parked like a boss halfway in front of the driveway.
Never getting that drunk again. Incapacitates me the rest of the next day, and it's happened one too many times.
Don't smoke anymore, since March or so. Smoking feels great though, too bad it sucks for your health.
Vermillion
Banned
Oh, being at parties means nothing. Many people - maybe even most - meet the girls they end up with relationships outside of parties.
When you make your intentions clear to a girl in your group of friends (girl A), don't simp, girl just isn't interested, it sucks, but you move on, still stay sorta friends (just occasional what up) since you have the same mutual friends and see each other regularly.
You go out with someone else or two, or three for a while (girl B+), break up (girl B+), start to notice signals months/years later from (girl A) and get interested again thinking maybe the situations changed...should you go for it again? No games/simping nothing, just straightforward go for it if the time seems right and you think you're getting signals but aren't sure if you're misreading?
You go out with someone else or two, or three for a while (girl B+), break up (girl B+), start to notice signals months/years later from (girl A) and get interested again thinking maybe the situations changed...should you go for it again? No games/simping nothing, just straightforward go for it if the time seems right and you think you're getting signals but aren't sure if you're misreading?
MetalGuardian
Banned
EDIT: Probably not the best thread for this
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Still, it's something to do. You meet new people constantly. And you can hook up. It's a crucial aspect of it all, especially around here where there is so little else.
Vermillion
Banned
You think qualifications are lower? Not even. If you think looks matter outside of parties? Well, my friend, I assure you that they matter far more if you're trying to hook up at a party. Stop obsessing on what you don't have, mate.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
If anything that makes it even more perfect for me cuz I'm just straight up beautiful y'know.
FortunateSon
Banned
Would this sound harsh? I'm so confused. I know this girl in college, well. I only knew her this semester, she's in one of my classes. First few classes, we didn't talk then as classes progressed on, we talked more and more but that's the issue. I'm extremely annoyed that it never goes beyond that. What is even more weird, her best friend in that class likes me a lot and I talk to her more than the girl I'm interested in and it's just because her friend is just more friendly and receptive whereas the other girl is just a (you know what I want to say here).
Yes, I got her number, facebook. All of that, so I text her here and there and she gives this one word replies like "yes", "no". You know the drill. So nearly everyone is telling me to bail, but I don't want to. She talks to me in class a lot but it just doesn't go beyond that.
And then, I invited her to my birthday party which she would have came for I believe if she wasn't busy or that could be a simple cop-out.
But what do I do to get her to be a bit more responsive to me outside of class? I haven't texted her in a week or two since this semester was done.
Yes, I got her number, facebook. All of that, so I text her here and there and she gives this one word replies like "yes", "no". You know the drill. So nearly everyone is telling me to bail, but I don't want to. She talks to me in class a lot but it just doesn't go beyond that.
And then, I invited her to my birthday party which she would have came for I believe if she wasn't busy or that could be a simple cop-out.
But what do I do to get her to be a bit more responsive to me outside of class? I haven't texted her in a week or two since this semester was done.
NeOak
Member
FortunateSon
Banned
But you going to base that just off her not showing up to one part? What if she was legitimate busy though? Now I understand if I invited her a couple of times elsewhere and she didn't show to none of them then I would bail.
You agree? But how do I go about inviting her out again?
NeOak
Member
In her mind, you just are a classmate now. She gave you the cold shoulder and you kept contact with her.
Everyone has been telling you to bail, but you are still looking for someone to tell you the opposite and that wont happen due to clear red flags.
And you are defending her. One-itis.
Bail.
FortunateSon
Banned
But then, I would feel like I got used for helping her throughout the class in the semester. Guess, I have no need for her then even if I see her next semester? A simple "hi" should be suffice to be kind?
Edit: Also, is this dangerous? It's a general question I want to ask everyone in this thread. Have you guys ever tried picking up girls by neg. hits? Or play yourself down?
Vermillion
Banned
NeOak
Member
You were used. Learn, man up and move on.
Girls avoid boys that "play themselves down".
FortunateSon
Banned
Thanks! And I don't think you get my 2nd part with the question. I've seen some people creatively pick up girls by "playing themselves down". It's funny + the negative comments they give at the same time directed towards the girl.
So if I do see her next semester, do I even talk to her?
NeOak
Member
Hmm, someone else can answer that then.
Sorry for the harsh replies, but you sound like you placed that girl on a pedestal. As for talking to her, you can say "hi, bye" but do you think you will gain something by doing more than that?
Only you can answer that.
hawkshockey11
Banned
Being sarcastic and funny in a technically demeaning way is good humor sometimes. Don't revolve your whole "game" around it though. Use it light and keep it light.
FortunateSon
Banned
Yeah, I waited quite a while on her. I was trying to figure her out. I couldn't for the life of me, usually I'm not that bad at all this.
Well, now that I know I've been classmate'd, I don't give a shit to go any further but just to be nice since I do talk to her friend a lot outside of class and in class so maybe like you said, a "hi, bye" solution should work.
I really never understood girls like that sometimes. They really take things like that for granted (help) and sometimes how stupid guys are (aka me in this situation) just because they know they are so damn pretty.
Napoleonthechimp
Member
I'm harsher on myself than anyone else is, which - I think - is the result of me internalising shitty things people have said to me over the years. At this point in my life it is almost as I don't feel worthy enough to exist. No woman wants someone like that and I know it, which is why I feel that I need to accomplish things to show that I'm somebody. But because of my lack of self-esteem nothing I do is good enough so I never ask any girl out.
The Orange
Member
To sum up your posts:
- You and a girl talk to each other in class
- She has zero interest in anything else, hoping to demonstrate this fact by one word message replies, and her being "too busy" for anything but things related to the class
- With zero attraction evident between you two, you hatch a clever plan where you pretend to be a friend and help her with classwork, not because you care about her as a friend or a human being, but because clearly, by her accepting help in class work, you two have entered a silent trade with you bringing your brains to the table, while in exchange she will offer you her pussy
- You feel used, because the silent trade stopped half-way, as if she's completely unaware of her duty to you
FortunateSon
Banned
Basically, yes. Problem? Seriously though. Hell, if I could even get her to be a genuine friend to me (just friends), I'd at least not consider being used but even that's not a possibility. So yes, I got thoroughly used by her for class work. She has simply shown no interest as a friend or more. So I fucking lost this one, I feel gutted as fuck because fuck girls that think they can do shit this like this and get away with it because they are pretty.
But I do blame myself for it. It was all an act throughout that whole semester I guess.
The Orange
Member
What exactly did she do? Accept help? Who the hell would say no? "Hey FortunateSon, sorry, I don't want you to help me with my homework, because I actually don't want to have sex with you, I know the two things don't seem related at all, but they are".
I don't want to rail on you, shit sucks, most of us have been through it. But you know why you offered help with classwork? Because it's safe. You were too scared to ask for a date, as that would actually answer the question of "is she attracted to me".
In short, you want to date a girl? Ask her on a date.
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