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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years

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The Orange said:
What exactly did she do? Accept help? Who the hell would say no? "Hey FortunateSon, sorry, I don't want you to help me with my homework, because I actually don't want to have sex with you, I know the two things don't seem related at all, but they are".

I don't want to rail on you, shit sucks, most of us have been through it. But you know why you offered help with classwork? Because it's safe. You were too scared to ask for a date, as that would actually answer the question of "is she attracted to me".

In short, you want to date a girl? Ask her on a date.
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Yeah, but I didn't ask her if she needed help. She asked me. She asked, I offered and it just flowed from there. Since I was attracted towards her, it just made my life easier by her making the move and I could work my way up from there but it just didn't go the way I had planned.

Yes, I offered to help with hopes that in time; once I know her pretty well, I will straight up ask her out. It's a pretty good and safe method but the problem is that most girls already know about this tactic, they aren't stupid. It just depends on how you play each situation and sometimes it will work and sometimes it won't.

I fucked up this one that's if she was ever interested in me in the firs place and I didn't ask that straight up right at the beginning to find that out and instead opted for the safer approach and waited it out.

But fuck me.... That girl really had me going though. The worst part, seeing her next semester. I hope to god she isn't in any of my classes but if she is then I can't wait to laugh at all those other poor guys she tries to pull what she did with me. It'll be a good laugh for me since I been through it.
 
FortunateSon said:
Yeah, I waited quite a while on her. I was trying to figure her out. I couldn't for the life of me, usually I'm not that bad at all this.

Well, now that I know I've been classmate'd, I don't give a shit to go any further but just to be nice since I do talk to her friend a lot outside of class and in class so maybe like you said, a "hi, bye" solution should work.

I really never understood girls like that sometimes. They really take things like that for granted (help) and sometimes how stupid guys are (aka me in this situation) just because they know they are so damn pretty.
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I did this the other way around.

Of course I accepted the help and free summaries but I dropped her cold afterwards. We had nothing in common but she kept being annoyingly clingy.
 
Man I just don't understand this thread sometimes. Some of you guys are so obsessed about how you look when in the grand scheme of things it's not that important. Izick, you look fine. Will plastic surgery really make you feel better? It won't fix the real problem, you'll just find something else to fixate on. I hate my nose too, especially in profile (straight on it's ok). I literally never think about it (except when I see pics from the side). What's the point? I know I'm never going to be hot but most people aren't. But I have plenty other things to offer.

Also the two guys that I fell for the hardest weren't the best looking guys I've dated. Even now, if either of them told me they wanted to try again I wouldn't have to think twice. And in fact the hottest guy I hooked up with made me so nervous I could hardly talk to him, I just felt so self-concious all the time. Not ideal.
 
The kind of person you want to be with doesn't give a flying fuck if your nose isn't "perfect".
Reiterating what almost everyone else is saying, it's all in your head and doesn't really matter.

The Orange said:
In short, you want to date a girl? Ask her on a date.
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This, this, and all of this. Make your intentions clear, dammit.
 
electricshake said:
Man I just don't understand this thread sometimes. Some of you guys are so obsessed about how you look when in the grand scheme of things it's not that important. Izick, you look fine. Will plastic surgery really make you feel better? It won't fix the real problem, you'll just find something else to fixate on. I hate my nose too, especially in profile (straight on it's ok). I literally never think about it (except when I see pics from the side). What's the point? I know I'm never going to be hot but most people aren't. But I have plenty other things to offer.

Also the two guys that I fell for the hardest weren't the best looking guys I've dated. Even now, if either of them told me they wanted to try again I wouldn't have to think twice. And in fact the hottest guy I hooked up with made me so nervous I could hardly talk to him, I just felt so self-concious all the time. Not ideal.
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Yes it's like no one even read the OP, not to mention listen to it.
 
FortunateSon said:
Yeah, but I didn't ask her if she needed help. She asked me. She asked, I offered and it just flowed from there. Since I was attracted towards her, it just made my life easier by her making the move and I could work my way up from there but it just didn't go the way I had planned.

Yes, I offered to help with hopes that in time; once I know her pretty well, I will straight up ask her out. It's a pretty good and safe method but the problem is that most girls already know about this tactic, they aren't stupid. It just depends on how you play each situation and sometimes it will work and sometimes it won't.

I fucked up this one that's if she was ever interested in me in the firs place and I didn't ask that straight up right at the beginning to find that out and instead opted for the safer approach and waited it out.

But fuck me.... That girl really had me going though. The worst part, seeing her next semester. I hope to god she isn't in any of my classes but if she is then I can't wait to laugh at all those other poor guys she tries to pull what she did with me. It'll be a good laugh for me since I been through it.
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Man this reads like something out of the nice guy thread. Ot4 bringin the goods.
 
FortunateSon said:
Yeah, but I didn't ask her if she needed help. She asked me. She asked, I offered and it just flowed from there. Since I was attracted towards her, it just made my life easier by her making the move and I could work my way up from there but it just didn't go the way I had planned.

Yes, I offered to help with hopes that in time; once I know her pretty well, I will straight up ask her out. It's a pretty good and safe method but the problem is that most girls already know about this tactic, they aren't stupid. It just depends on how you play each situation and sometimes it will work and sometimes it won't.

I fucked up this one that's if she was ever interested in me in the firs place and I didn't ask that straight up right at the beginning to find that out and instead opted for the safer approach and waited it out.

But fuck me.... That girl really had me going though. The worst part, seeing her next semester. I hope to god she isn't in any of my classes but if she is then I can't wait to laugh at all those other poor guys she tries to pull what she did with me. It'll be a good laugh for me since I been through it.
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One of the few good pieces of advice my dad gave me about women is this: women have a guy for everything and you have to make yourself what you want to be.

You made yourself the homework guy. When she needed a fix in that department she calls you. I bet she has a guy that fixes computers too. And a guy that fixes broken shit. And a guy with an available shoulder to cry on. And a guy that fixes that pussy when it needs working out.

If you want to be that guy then present yourself as that guy. And if you don't then you really only have yourself to blame. That much i do understand. Personally i would've never helped her. But now you know and you can be better for it in the future.
 
electricshake said:
Man I just don't understand this thread sometimes. Some of you guys are so obsessed about how you look when in the grand scheme of things it's not that important. Izick, you look fine. Will plastic surgery really make you feel better? It won't fix the real problem, you'll just find something else to fixate on. I hate my nose too, especially in profile (straight on it's ok). I literally never think about it (except when I see pics from the side). What's the point? I know I'm never going to be hot but most people aren't. But I have plenty other things to offer.

Also the two guys that I fell for the hardest weren't the best looking guys I've dated. Even now, if either of them told me they wanted to try again I wouldn't have to think twice. And in fact the hottest guy I hooked up with made me so nervous I could hardly talk to him, I just felt so self-concious all the time. Not ideal.
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There's a picture of Izick? I didn't see him post one, unless he did in the past.

I'm sure he looks fine.
 
He posted one last OT.

He looks fine. Consistent grooming and styling his hair would help improve his confidence I'm sure, as it does most men.
 
FortunateSon said:
Would this sound harsh? I'm so confused. I know this girl in college, well. I only knew her this semester, she's in one of my classes. First few classes, we didn't talk then as classes progressed on, we talked more and more but that's the issue. I'm extremely annoyed that it never goes beyond that. What is even more weird, her best friend in that class likes me a lot and I talk to her more than the girl I'm interested in and it's just because her friend is just more friendly and receptive whereas the other girl is just a (you know what I want to say here).

Yes, I got her number, facebook. All of that, so I text her here and there and she gives this one word replies like "yes", "no". You know the drill. So nearly everyone is telling me to bail, but I don't want to. She talks to me in class a lot but it just doesn't go beyond that.

And then, I invited her to my birthday party which she would have came for I believe if she wasn't busy or that could be a simple cop-out.

But what do I do to get her to be a bit more responsive to me outside of class? I haven't texted her in a week or two since this semester was done.
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I know there's been some other posts here, but you need to be told something. You know what all your posts about this have made you sound like? You sound like an asshole. You treated her like a human being and so you demand something in return? I mean, good job, you didn't treat her poorly, but she owes you nothing. Relevantly, http://mamamantis.tumblr.com/post/37818539849/please-do-not-remove-artists-comments-or-repost.

She didn't use you at all, you just think you've been used because you've concocted some scenario in your mind where you were slowly going to become closer and closer until she loved you or whatever. I had plenty of people that I talked to only in school. I wasn't using them, I just didn't have much interest in hanging out with them beyond school.

Now you justify how you feel by making her out to be some evil temptress so that you can find it valid to call her a bitch. Get this through your head, girls owe you nothing. She's never shown any interest beyond school aquaintances so I don't get what you're doing, or why you feel this way.

God really, every one of your posts makes me angry.
 
zethren said:
FortunateSon, you unfortunate son. You should have just straight up asked her out and then gotten to know her. Take this experience and push ever onward, my man.
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31056298.jpg
 
electricshake said:
Man I just don't understand this thread sometimes. Some of you guys are so obsessed about how you look when in the grand scheme of things it's not that important. Izick, you look fine. Will plastic surgery really make you feel better? It won't fix the real problem, you'll just find something else to fixate on. I hate my nose too, especially in profile (straight on it's ok). I literally never think about it (except when I see pics from the side). What's the point? I know I'm never going to be hot but most people aren't. But I have plenty other things to offer.

Also the two guys that I fell for the hardest weren't the best looking guys I've dated. Even now, if either of them told me they wanted to try again I wouldn't have to think twice. And in fact the hottest guy I hooked up with made me so nervous I could hardly talk to him, I just felt so self-concious all the time. Not ideal.
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Why did the hot guy make you nervous?
 
zethren said:
He posted one last OT.

He looks fine. Consistent grooming and styling his hair would help improve his confidence I'm sure, as it does most men.
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This so much. My new hairstyle is a bit over the top but I love it. The fact that mom dislike it is even better xD
 
Minamu said:
This so much. My new hairstyle is a bit over the top but I love it. The fact that mom dislike it is even better xD
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Yup yup. Improving your overall style will go leaps and bounds toward improving confidence. Get a stylish haircut, get clothes that fit you, groom your facial hair. Bam. You're instantly more attractive than most guys walking around out there.
 
I don't want to go over all this again, but yes I already do all that shit. I honestly think my looks are the only barrier.
 
Xun said:
There's a picture of Izick? I didn't see him post one, unless he did in the past.

I'm sure he looks fine.
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Yeh in the last thread but he took it down pretty quickly. For what it's worth, you look fine too! You don't need to stress about your appearance, I think you're cute. And you're still young! You have plenty of time to find the right girl.


Wazzim said:
Why do hot girls make you nervous? Because you feel like you're not enough and that you thus have to show him or her your worth.
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Pretty much this. I guess I was worried about making a fool out of myself, or that he'd think I was boring/had shit chat or whatever. Girls can be just as insecure as guys you know!
 
Guys want things and are afraid they won't get it --> anxiety. Ooh I hope she likes me, how can I win her over, what should I say to get her pants off?! The very opposite of being masculine.
 
Wormdundee said:
I know there's been some other posts here, but you need to be told something. You know what all your posts about this have made you sound like? You sound like an asshole. You treated her like a human being and so you demand something in return? I mean, good job, you didn't treat her poorly, but she owes you nothing. Relevantly, http://mamamantis.tumblr.com/post/37818539849/please-do-not-remove-artists-comments-or-repost.

She didn't use you at all, you just think you've been used because you've concocted some scenario in your mind where you were slowly going to become closer and closer until she loved you or whatever. I had plenty of people that I talked to only in school. I wasn't using them, I just didn't have much interest in hanging out with them beyond school.

Now you justify how you feel by making her out to be some evil temptress so that you can find it valid to call her a bitch. Get this through your head, girls owe you nothing. She's never shown any interest beyond school aquaintances so I don't get what you're doing, or why you feel this way.

God really, every one of your posts makes me angry.
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Completely agree with this. He really is the stereotypical 'nice guy'. He pretends to be a nice guy but in reality he's just being an asshole but putting on a nice guy act to get some pussy.
 
Izick said:
I don't want to go over all this again, but yes I already do all that shit. I honestly think my looks are the only barrier.
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Do you honestly think that your self judging and lack of appreciation for yourself ISN'T being reflected in the way people perceive you? Because it is.

And that won't help you. In fact it's a major inhibitor.
 
zethren said:
Do you honestly think that your self judging and lack of appreciation for yourself ISN'T being reflected in the way people perceive you? Because it is.

And that won't help you. In fact it's a major inhibitor.
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Honestly? No. I mean I don't telegraph the fact that I don't think I'm attractive; I don't talk about it at all.
 
Izick said:
Not to the point where they can know that. You can tell if someones uncomfortable, or happy, or upset, etc., but not to the point where you can tell how someone feels about their looks on that kind of level.
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Dude, I've only had the pleasure of reading your posts in this and other threads and even just through that I can smell the self-hate and self-pity. It stinks through the internet and out of my monitor. Remember that "why are hot girls with ugly guys" thread? Geezus krist, man. No one's saying you mope around with your head down cursing your nose in whispers, but unless you're totally different irl than you are here (completely possible), it wouldn't be surprising if people (especially women) can sense you have some confidence issues, even if you don't make it blatantly obvious. That's basically what the others are saying.
 
worldrevolution said:
Dude, I've only had the pleasure of reading your posts in this and other threads and even just through that I can smell the self-hate and self-pity. It stinks through the internet and out of my monitor. Remember that "why are hot girls with ugly guys" thread? Geezus krist, man. No one's saying you mope around with your head down cursing your nose in whispers, but unless you're totally different irl than you are here (completely possible), it wouldn't be surprising if people (especially women) can sense you have some confidence issues, even if you don't make it blatantly obvious. That's basically what the others are saying.
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You're reading what I'm saying though. I have never, nor ever will, said anything like this to anyone in real life. I think you guys are mixing up Gaf and what people do in reality.
 
Izick said:
You're reading what I'm saying though. I have never, nor ever will, said anything like this to anyone in real life. I think you guys are mixing up Gaf and what people do in reality.
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Right..but..the shit you type here is obviously a part of your mentality, whether it's your online mentality or your real world mentality. If you type "I hate me" a million times on the internet (assuming you're not faking it) and then think it doesn't affect you some how in real life, well, you're an idiot. Or extremely good at denial. Again, I don't know you in real life so I have zero clue how you are. It just wouldn't be a big shocker if people can sense how you feel about yourself, and it's more than likely you wouldn't know that they do. If you can power through it and not let it affect you, awesome, you're ahead of the rest then. But you're the one bringing up cosmetic surgery to permanently alter yourself..
 
I never said I hate me, I just dislike what I look like, or at least I realize that it's limiting me from what I can do romantically that is.
 
Izick said:
I never said I hate me, I just dislike what I look like, or at least I realize that it's limiting me from what I can do romantically that is.
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That was just an example, you can type "I just dislike what I look like" a million times as well. Same shit. It bleeds over.
 
Ah, you just don't understand. Looks don't matter, and there aren't ugly people. Right. It's not an excuse if it's true.
 
Izick said:
Ah, you just don't understand. Looks don't matter, and there aren't ugly people. Right. It's not an excuse if it's true.
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Course there are ugly people. I feel bad for them. I've never seen your pic so I don't know if you're ugly.
 
Izick said:
Ah, you just don't understand. Looks don't matter, and there aren't ugly people. Right. It's not an excuse if it's true.
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First of all you're not ugly so there's that. I also never said their aren't ugly people, there most certainly are but the extent to which it affects you romantically is being massively overstated. You can easily do good with women whether you are good looking or not and you are nowhere near at the point where this is really a big factor.

Your problems with women do not stem from your looks they come from your negative outlook (it doesn't matter if you only post this stuff on GAF). Choosing yo focus on your looks (which is something you can't really change) is just a lazy excuse to avoid addressing the real problems holding you back.
 
Izick said:
That was more aimed at the other guy, but if there are ugly people, and assuming I am indeed ugly, how is that an excuse?
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My fault, didn't see the other post sneak in. But an excuse for what? If you're ugly then that's a reason, not an excuse. I'm sure it sucks being ugly.
 
worldrevolution said:
My fault, didn't see the other post sneak in. But an excuse for what? If you're ugly then that's a reason, not an excuse. I'm sure it sucks being ugly.
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It's an excuse for him and other people failing with women. Rather than try and work out what they're doing wrong or why they are unappealing to women they just fall back on that easy answer and say it's because they're ugly.

The main reason i said it's an excuse in this situation is because Izick isn't even ugly. I mean if he was really ugly or deformed or something i could at least accept this argument (but even then ugly people still get GF's) but there is no way in any reality that Izick is ugly enough for his looks to be that big of an issue.
 
I'll just repeat this once (as it was said multiple times in the LAST thread), but Izick you need professional help. No amount of plastic surgery is going to fix what's wrong in your head.
 
This threads keeps going round in circles since you all keep looking at 2 things, Izick's looks and his attitude towards that.

Might as well step back a bit.

Izick, what do you like to do? What do you do that people might find interesting? If a girl you're interested in shows enough interest to ask you what you do with your time, what are you most proud of answering truthfully? What would you like to be able to answer to her? What would you like to do together with her?

Now how many different answers do you have to all these different questions?

Thinking about this and at least considering working on having a manageable number of answers might do more for you than worrying about your reflection on the mirror.
 
Loona said:
This threads keeps going round in circles since you all keep looking at 2 things, Izick's looks and his attitude towards that.
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I don't think that is what anyone is doing and pretty much everything you brought up has been discussed multiple times. It's hard to give out meaningful advice when it has all been said 100 times before. Izick is not going to get better by reading and getting advice from this thread. He has read every piece of advice we could all possibly give him.

That's not supposed to be an attack either, the sort of help you can get from a thread like this is limited and won't fix any and all problems. Sometimes things run deeper than that and you need to seek some proper professional help.
 
Loona said:
Good Advice
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The main reason why we keep harping on Izick's issues with his looks is because it completely affects and consumes every aspect of his Dating life. Example from the LadyGAF advises ManGAF thread:

Izick said:
So what do you mean when you say "confidence" exactly? Like I know I'm confident in the fact that I'm funny, intelligent, charming, and very sociable when talking to women, for example, but the only thing is that deep down I have a sinking feeling there's never any romantic interest.

To give an example:

So a few years back, I was in an electronics big-box store I think or something, and I saw this very cute girl. So a friend of mine actually worked at that same store, and he kind of took things into his own hands and hooked her up with me. Anyway, she started to text me and talk to me on the phone. She always said I was funny and charming and stuff, and she even said she thought I was cute when she saw me in the store that one time. So she asked me to come down to said store sometime to hang out and talk to her, but I could never do it. We continued to talk for weeks, than months, and eventually a year or so, but I could never do it simply because I thought that if I did see her again in person, she would realize that I was ugly, be disappointed and forgo talking to me all together. Eventually though she gradually started talking to me less and less, and I think she got a boyfriend, so it's been years since that ended.

So I guess in that aspect I'm not confident in myself at all, to be frank. I never have been in the past.
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With the way he is now, he'll never be able to properly think about those questions you've posed simply because he'll just go "Why bother. I'm ugly." and that's that. I think everyone here is past the "Advice" stage of dealing with Izick and are now in the "Verbally Slap the Sense Into This Fool" stage.
 
He stresses too much. Which I think is obvious. I used to be the same way. Still kind of am. And from what I recall, I'm an uglier mofo than Izick. I just don't give any fucks anymore, which is what you have to learn to do buddy. 0 fucks given. None.
 
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