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[Bam Bam Baklava]

Not talking about step by step but there are thousands of little things that a lot of people may or may not know. For instance, someone once told me to always be the one that ends the conversation. I don't know how good that piece of advice actually was but it was specific.

 

[Gucci Messiah]

if it makes you feel better I thought he was being a dick too

 

[zethren]

Not talking about step by step but there are thousands of little things that a lot of people may or may not know. For instance, someone once told me to always be the one that ends the conversation. I don't know how good that piece of advice actually was but it was specific.

And a lot of those things are anecdotal, unfortunately. "Always be the one to end the conversation" isn't a fool proof thing that works all the time. It might work for you, but that doesn't mean it works for someone else. If you load up your head with all of these little tips then it's just going to muddle you up when it comes to application. What if you can't be the one to end the conversation? Are you goin to just blurt something out and walk away? It could work. Give it a shot.

Not trying to discourage or anything, but most of the time this kind of stuff just reminds me of the movie "Hitch". Silly things that men tell themselves work.

Here are some things that I find are good "tips" that may or may not work for you:

-eye contact
-smile and laugh in conversation
-be approachable
-be social
-have a life outside of the realm of dating
-stand tall
-dress well
-be a gentlemen, but not a "nice guy"
Etc Etc Etc

Rather than tips like "always do this" or "always say that", I advise improving your demeanor and character to become more attractive or personable. Don't radically change who you are, but improve yourself. If you would really like me to I can detail how I've worked on myself and what I did.

But these are basic things that I do. It works for me. It might work for you. If you're into a clubbing or bar scene my advice may not work for you, because that's not what I'm into nor the type of girl I would typically find interest in.

 

[Vermillion]

This is because you're truly being absolutely carefree around these women you're not interested in. It makes you more attractive. You don't want anything from them which makes you different around them compared to when you're around hot flesh that *you want*. If you were always this carefree and convinced yourself that your kind of woman is always into you, life would be different.

Or if you don't act like you like the girl...

No, that's a bad idea.

 

[zethren]

It's a balancing act. My advice is be yourself, but that answer doesn't always fly around here.

 

[white dynamite]

And a lot of those things are anecdotal, unfortunately. "Always be the one to end the conversation" isn't a fool proof thing that works all the time. It might work for you, but that doesn't mean it works for someone else. If you load up your head with all of these little tips then it's just going to muddle you up when it comes to application. What if you can't be the one to end the conversation? Are you goin to just blurt something out and walk away? It could work. Give it a shot.

Not trying to discourage or anything, but most of the time this kind of stuff just reminds me of the movie "Hitch". Silly things that men tell themselves work.

Here are some things that I find are good "tips" that may or may not work for you:

-eye contact
-smile and laugh in conversation
-be approachable
-be social
-have a life outside of the realm of dating
-stand tall
-dress well
-be a gentlemen, but not a "nice guy"
Etc Etc Etc

Rather than tips like "always do this" or "always say that", I advise improving your demeanor and character to become more attractive or personable. Don't radically change who you are, but improve yourself. If you would really like me to I can detail how I've worked on myself and what I did.

But these are basic things that I do. It works for me. It might work for you. If you're into a clubbing or bar scene my advice may not work for you, because that's not what I'm into nor the type of girl I would typically find interest in.

Sure, I'd like to hear it.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

-eye contact
-smile and laugh in conversation
-be approachable
-be social
-have a life outside of the realm of dating
-stand tall
-dress well
-be a gentlemen, but not a "nice guy"
Etc Etc Etc

Think about that list though. Be approachable? Be social? Have a life? Be a gentleman? There's so much ambiguity in those statements.

 

[Man]

I have dated this girl once, it went really well and we both want to see each other again.
I was planning on going to a backpackers/tropical resort with a female friend of mine but I'm conflicted with the date in mind (even if my intentions are honest I fear my date will misinterpret, I would do the same in her shoes).

Basically I have two options here:
1) Invite her along but risk pushing her away by escalating things too quickly (though I will offer her a private hotelroom so there's no pressure).
2) Cancel trip (unbeknowingly to her) and take her on a normal second date.

What to do GAF?

 

[nOoblet16]

I've been trying to get over someone for months but everytime I go on a date I just end up missing her even more, which makes me extremely disinterested in the person I date....no matter how hot they are..they just don't seem as interesting. I'm probably suffering from Chronic Bitch Dependency.

I have dated this girl once, it went really well and we both want to see each other again.
I was planning on going to a backpackers/tropical resort with a female friend of mine but I'm conflicted with the date in mind (even if my intentions are honest I fear my date will misinterpret, I would do the same in her shoes).

Basically I have two options here:
1) Invite her along but risk pushing her away by escalating things too quickly (though I will offer her a private hotelroom so there's no pressure).
2) Cancel trip (unbeknowingly to her) and take her on a normal second date.

What to do GAF?

Option 1, make it clear that it's an honest intention and tell her about offering her a private room or one with your female friend. Because in my opinion a backpacking trip with a froup of friends and your date would be very good.

 

[zethren]

Think about that list though. Be approachable? Be social? Have a life? Be a gentleman? There's so much ambiguity in those statements.

That's all you need, man. Stop looking for everything to be handed to you. You need to find out how you are a gentlemen. You need to find out how you are approachable. This is for you to be you, not for you to be me or anyone else here.

Just simply BE social. Just simply BE a gentlemen. Just simply HAVE a life. Do you need me to spell out for you how to have a life? How to be social? Just do it.

You don't need Hitch tips like always end the conversation. You don't need PUA tips like just walk up to a random girl and take her by the hand and dance with her.
What you need to do is make yourself more attractive of a person for both yourself, especially for yourself, and for someone else.

You do that by having a life, being approachable and sociable, getting yourself in shape, wearing clothes that fit, being confident, being a gentleman, etc.

I'm fucking handing you this shit over and over and you cry ambiguity for lack of a drive to delve deeper on your own.

Be. A. Better. Person. For. You. And. Good. Shit. Will. Happen. Period.

And to the poster above who requested I detail what I did, I'll gladly do that. I'm about to catch a movie with a friend so it'll be posted later tonight.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

That's all you need, man. Stop looking for everything to be handed to you. You need to find out how you are a gentlemen. You need to find out how you are approachable. This is for you to be you, not for you to be me or anyone else here.

Just simply BE social. Just simply BE a gentlemen. Just simply HAVE a life. Do you need me to spell out for you how to have a life? How to be social? Just do it.

You don't need Hitch tips like always end the conversation. You don't need PUA tips like just walk up to a random girl and take her by the hand and dance with her.
What you need to do is make yourself more attractive of a person for both yourself, especially for yourself, and for someone else.

You do that by having a life, being approachable and sociable, getting yourself in shape, wearing clothes that fit, being confident, being a gentleman, etc.

I'm fucking handing you this shit over and over and you cry ambiguity for lack of a drive to delve deeper on your own.

Be. A. Better. Person. For. You. And. Good. Shit. Will. Happen. Period.

And to the poster above who requested I detail what I did, I'll gladly do that. I'm about to catch a movie with a friend so it'll be posted later tonight.

Daaamnn take it easy. I'm just saying a lot of us have done so much of that stuff on that list and we're always looking for more ways to better ourselves. Self-improvement is a process that is always going on.

 

[zethren]

Daaamnn take it easy. I'm just saying a lot of us have done so much of that stuff on that list and we're always looking for more ways to better ourselves. Self-improvement is a process that is always going on.

It absolutely is always on going. It took me 5 months of self improvement and reflection before I was even ready to start dating again. Before I was at a place where I was really truly happy with where I was at. Like I said, I'll detail it later tonight. If you want to try and apply some of the details go wild. I'm simply a massive proponent of self reflection and betterment based on the individual. If you and I were having this conversation in person it would be a bit different, but as you can see I'm irritable as all hell today so you probably wouldn't want to. Lol

If you've been working on yourself in those ways I would simply suggest keep doing that. And finding other aspects of your life to improve or work on. I just picked up guitar at the most random whim and started learning about a month ago. Something I've always wanted to do in the back of my mind but never did for whatever reason. That's an example.

 

[Xun]

For what it's worth, you look fine too! You don't need to stress about your appearance, I think you're cute. And you're still young! You have plenty of time to find the right girl.

Thanks for the compliment!

Did you see my photo on the previous page? Since I thought I took it down.

 

[Stylo]

This Friday I'm going to meet up at a promenade with a girl I've been talking to a for a while. She's been giving good signals so I think she's interested too.

I'm inexperienced with dating. At first, I was thinking of asking her to ice skating, but a buddy of mine told me to do something more casual like meeting for coffee. I'm not nervous because I see this more a way to get to know each other but I'd still like to know what to avoid doing so as to not ruin a perfectly good evening by making it awkward.

Any tips for someone like me?

 

[Minamu]

Or if you don't act like you like the girl...

No, that's a bad idea.

I'm sorry, I'm not following.

Xun: Maybe I'll link to all your facebook pictures buddy

 

[grumble]

This Friday I'm going to meet up at a promenade with a girl I've been talking to a for a while. She's been giving good signals so I think she's interested too.

I'm inexperienced with dating. At first, I was thinking of asking her to ice skating, but a buddy of mine told me to do something more casual like meeting for coffee. I'm not nervous because I see this more a way to get to know each other but I'd still like to know what to avoid doing so as to not ruin a perfectly good evening by making it awkward.

Any tips for someone like me?

Coffee is good for a first date. It lets you see if she's your kind of girl in a low pressure kind of environment. If that goes well and you'd like to see her again, then ice skating is a great idea.

 

[Roofy]

Need advice interpreting this.

Met this girl at a gala for this charity that I do some work for. Started Facebook messaging and were going back and forth about movies we recommended each other. She said that she only uses blockbuster and itunes to watch films and because blockbuster is closed, she doesnt know how to get them.

I figured this was a hint that she wanted to meet up because the films I recommended her (Goodbye Lenin!, Submarine, and Amelie) are all available on iTunes and Netflix and said that I would let her borrow them. She said that was perfect and then said out of the blue that she only has one TV in her house and its 15".

I'm assuming this is her way of trying to get me to say something along the lines of "that wont do, you must come over to watch them on my big screen." Intents are pretty clear when it comes to her flirting.

I'm hesitant to say come over though because we havent even gone out for coffee yet.

I'm 21 and living with my family and really dont want first date to be at my house.

Am I interpreting this wrong? How would you steer it to a coffee date instead?

 

[fmpanda]

Need advice interpreting this.

Met this girl at a gala for this charity that I do some work for. Started Facebook messaging and were going back and forth about movies we recommended each other. She said that she only uses blockbuster and itunes to watch films and because blockbuster is closed, she doesnt know how to get them.

I figured this was a hint that she wanted to meet up because the films I recommended her (Goodbye Lenin!, Submarine, and Amelie) are all available on iTunes and Netflix and said that I would let her borrow them. She said that was perfect and then said out of the blue that she only has one TV in her house and its 15".

I'm assuming this is her way of trying to get me to say something along the lines of "that wont do, you must come over to watch them on my big screen." Intents are pretty clear when it comes to her flirting.

I'm hesitant to say come over though because we havent even gone out for coffee yet.

I'm 21 and living with my family and really dont want first date to be at my house.

Am I interpreting this wrong? How would you steer it to a coffee date instead?

Have ya'll met on any other occasions other than the charity work? If so, you could probably get away with doing a coffee date, then watching movies over at your place. The coffee joint could work as a means of breaking the ice about you living with your family.

 

[Roofy]

Have ya'll met on any other occasions other than the charity work? If so, you could probably get away with doing a coffee date, then watching movies over at your place. The coffee joint could work as a means of breaking the ice about you living with your family.

Met for a 2 minute chat when we were being interviewed for a trip to Peru (for the charity) while I was coming out and she was going in. I'm sure she doesnt expect me to be living anywhere but with my family. She's in her first year of university and I'm in my fourth. I just dont want to run the risk of having to answer any questions to my family.

 

[fmpanda]

Met for a 2 minute chat when we were being interviewed for a trip to Peru (for the charity) while I was coming out and she was going in. I'm sure she doesnt expect me to be living anywhere but with my family. She's in her first year of university and I'm in my fourth. I just dont want to run the risk of having to answer any questions to my family.

In that case, yeah, ask her out for coffee and chat to get the real questions out of the way, while also getting your folks to take one for the team and make like trees and split either into another room or on a date themselves when you bring her to your house. If they're good natured about it, they shouldn't mind as they can just rib you about how everything went in the morning.

 

[Roofy]

In that case, yeah, ask her out for coffee and chat to get the real questions out of the way, while also getting your folks to take one for the team and make like trees and split either into another room or on a date themselves when you bring her to your house. If they're good natured about it, they shouldn't mind as they can just rib you about how everything went in the morning.

I just really dont want my parents to know anything because the second they do, they'll pry. Any way to steer it away from inviting her over and to coffee?

 

[fmpanda]

I just really dont want my parents to know anything because the second they do, they'll pry. Any way to steer it away from inviting her over and to coffee?

Yeah, just ask her to coffee or any place that can allow you to talk. It sounds like you need to have a solid face-to-face conversation before you take things any further.

 

[grap3fruitman]

A longtime crush just announced on FB that's she's engaged. Everyone I went to school with is in a long-term relation ship or engaged... I've never been so much as on a date. How long until I'm so depressed that I take my life?

 

[Vermillion]

Joys of Facebook, huh? I've learned to just be happy that my friends are happy.

 

[Arksy]

The advice 'Don't be a nice guy' is really rather meaningless when not put into context. Someone should really explain it and what it means and why it's bad and secondly if there's a better way of acting instead of a 'nice guy'. I'm sure there are guys out there who fall into this trap often who seriously don't want to have to become assholes just to become more successful in their love lives. Hell, I'm sure I do some 'nice guy' things without even acknowledging or realising. It can be hard to tell if you're the kind of person that could also be percieved as a nice guy because you simply don't care. For example, I was engaging in texting banter with a girl recently and she'd always apologise for texting a few hours late when she was busy, I just ignored it and just texted back. It wasn't because I was putting her on a pedestal but rather I just didn't give a shit and had my own shit to do.

 

[The_Inquisitor]

My flight got cancelled going to dfw due to snow. I've been stuck in airport for hours waiting for a much later flight.

Just had the most amazing conversation with a complee stranger about love and girls. I am so fucking motivated to meet a ton of hot girls in 2013. Lets do it OT4!

 

[shintoki]

I gotz a date. I haven't been able to say this in a long time. ^_^

 

[Vermillion]

I gotz a date. I haven't been able to say this in a long time. ^_^

Congrats, dude!

 

[Emily Chu]

Think about that list though. Be approachable? Be social? Have a life? Be a gentleman? There's so much ambiguity in those statements.

I have an honest question about all those...

what the fuck does it even all mean ?

and what happens if you don't enjoy none of that shit ? or vice versa ?

most of this dating shit flies out the window when the paper plan goes into prime time reality...

changes on the fly depending on person, place, things, time, weather, etc
a billion variables times another a billion variables which may or may not play in your favor in this infinitesimal universe

and all you want to do is get dat dick wet and or establish a stable relationship or a fuck buddy...

there are no rules... make your own

it can be infinitely complicated or stupidly simple....

it's all the luck of the draw....

it's dumb luck most of the time

 

[PflargBlarg]

I just really dont want my parents to know anything because the second they do, they'll pry. Any way to steer it away from inviting her over and to coffee?

I get where you're going with this, but why does it matter so much about your family? I had a girl over to watch a movie as a first date. The family of course asks some questions but really, what's so bad about saying "yeah, it was a date" and if they want to dig deeper just tell them to wait and see if it's going to go somewhere first.

It's not something that I would suggest myself but as you said, she's pretty much saying "I want to come over to your place and watch a movie with you."

I guess do whatever you're comfortable with.

 

[shintoki]

Congrats, dude!

Thank you. ^_^. I kept trying to come up with some interesting, cute way to continue to the conversation. But I couldn't, so I just up and asked. Let's go out. Lol.

 

[electricshake]

Thanks for the compliment!

Did you see my photo on the previous page? Since I thought I took it down.

I didn't see that one but I remember other pics you've posted. Think I've seen your okc profile as well.

 

[Minamu]

I have an honest question about all those...

what the fuck does it even all mean ?

and what happens if you don't enjoy none of that shit ? or vice versa ?

most of this dating shit flies out the window when the paper plan goes into prime time reality...

changes on the fly depending on person, place, things, time, weather, etc
a billion variables times another a billion variables which may or may not play in your favor in this infinitesimal universe

and all you want to do is get dat dick wet and or establish a stable relationship or a fuck buddy...

there are no rules... make your own

it can be infinitely complicated or stupidly simple....

it's all the luck of the draw....

it's dumb luck most of the time

The greatest thing is that you can actually choose if it's complicated or not ^^ That's something I didn't understand for most of my life.

Edit: And I just came home (it's 1pm) from probably the craziest and definitely most expensive party night in my life xD Ouch!

 

[decaf]

I gotz a date. I haven't been able to say this in a long time. ^_^

Congrats!

 

[Gucci Messiah]

I gotz a date. I haven't been able to say this in a long time. ^_^

Nice! That's great to hear.

 

[E-phonk]

Everyone I went to school with is in a long-term relation ship or engaged... I've never been so much as on a date.

They you should start asking girls out. It doesn't seem to be because there aren't any girls you like.

Someone should really explain it and what it means and why it's bad and secondly if there's a better way of acting instead of a 'nice guy'. I'm sure there are guys out there who fall into this trap often who seriously don't want to have to become assholes just to become more successful in their love lives.

Nobody says "become an asshole". Just don't be a pushover.

 

[Minamu]

Just look at the nice guys and fedoras thread. There are no set rules that set the nice guy criteria in stone because everyone views it differently. And I think OT3 did a pretty good job of explaining it.

 

[Relix]

Holy shit.... I went cold a few nights ago.

Story time! I have a good friend, she and I hang out a lot but we've never dated or actually has there been lot of sexual tension. Maybe some pretty close dancing and stuff like that. Here we are, at our local bar with some friends, and its karaoke night. Here we are, singing... I think it was My Immortal and then Nothing Else Matters. While we are singing, both sharing one microphone, she grabs my left hand, and puts it around her waist over exposed belly.

At this point I don't know how to take it..... what the hell do I do. So, I start rubbing her belly slowly and sliding my fingers downward. At this point there is no gap of space between us and I am just behind her with my face over her right shoulder singing to the microphone and the left hand sliding downwards into her pants. Then the last song ends. Its like we are both pulled out of a spell and we both stop what we were doing. We look at each other shyly and... basically shrugged it off and started drinking with our buds again.

So, I ask the all knowledgeable GAF.... Was this an invitation? Just a "moment"? It has definitely shown me I can go to bed with her (... I think?) but we've been only good friends for a while, never with anything between us. I usually scoff at the "sex ruins friendship" thing but this is definitely hitting home. What should I do? I mean, she's attractive. If I ask some of my closer friends their immediately reply will be "You were gay" (no offense) so I need to ask some more mature people. Besides, since we are all close friends it would be weird to talk to them about it.

 

[Minamu]

What's this about hands in pants?

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Time_94d7c2_824482.jpg

Joking aside, it's a bit vague. I don't think any girl would allow that if she wasn't very promiscious, very drunk or interested. I'd assume interest until she proves otherwise.

 

[I'm an expert]

I'd assume nothing but innocent drunken fun, honestly. I sure as hell wouldn't jump to "she wants to fuck me" just because I got to touch her stomach a bit. I've felt up/put my hands down the pants (I'm guessing you didn't plunge your fingers inside of her) of plenty of girls at a bar/club/party. Def didn't sleep with all of them, nor did I expect to. If you want to take a shot, go for it. You can use that instance as a light icebreaker to bring up something between you two. If she shoots it down there ya go..unless you're gonna go into "now we can't ever be friends because she rejected me and I want to bone her" mode..then fuck it.

 

[MetalGuardian]

Holy shit.... I went cold a few nights ago.

Story time! I have a good friend, she and I hang out a lot but we've never dated or actually has there been lot of sexual tension. Maybe some pretty close dancing and stuff like that. Here we are, at our local bar with some friends, and its karaoke night. Here we are, singing... I think it was My Immortal and then Nothing Else Matters. While we are singing, both sharing one microphone, she grabs my left hand, and puts it around her waist over exposed belly.

At this point I don't know how to take it..... what the hell do I do. So, I start rubbing her belly slowly and sliding my fingers downward. At this point there is no gap of space between us and I am just behind her with my face over her right shoulder singing to the microphone and the left hand sliding downwards into her pants. Then the last song ends. Its like we are both pulled out of a spell and we both stop what we were doing. We look at each other shyly and... basically shrugged it off and started drinking with our buds again.

So, I ask the all knowledgeable GAF.... Was this an invitation? Just a "moment"? It has definitely shown me I can go to bed with her (... I think?) but we've been only good friends for a while, never with anything between us. I usually scoff at the "sex ruins friendship" thing but this is definitely hitting home. What should I do? I mean, she's attractive. If I ask some of my closer friends their immediately reply will be "You were gay" (no offense) so I need to ask some more mature people. Besides, since we are all close friends it would be weird to talk to them about it.

Anything can happen when you take a chance!

How much had she been drinking when this happened? I had a really good friend kiss me on the lips once when she was very drunk, something she never would have done while sober. Either way, in your situation I would take it as at least SOME form of underlying attraction. The mere fact that she's comfortable with you touching her there is a good start if you are looking to get with her, but it's of course no guarantee that she wants or would be okay with something sexual happening between you two.

I would feel out the situation by being more handsy with her in future interactions. Putting your hand on her back or shoulder, hugging her when you see her, things like that. In addition, try to gradually make your conversations more flirtatious. That would be the easiest way to see if she wants anything beyond friendship from you without having to awkwardly ask her what karaoke night meant. If she responds well to the (light) flirting at first, keep it escalating. If not, then you have your answer.

 

[Gucci Messiah]

What's this about hands in pants?

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Time_94d7c2_824482.jpg

Joking aside, it's a bit vague. I don't think any girl would allow that if she wasn't very promiscious, very drunk or interested. I'd assume interest until she proves otherwise.

Uh, he said they were drinking. I'd chalk it up to the alcohol instead of immediately assuming she's interested. But that's just me and I am timid in this sort of situation.

 

[Minamu]

Uh, he said they were drinking. I'd chalk it up to the alcohol instead of immediately assuming she's interested. But that's just me and I am timid in this sort of situation.

I'm of the opinion that it's better to assume interest and try to find out (not in a crass gropy way of course) instead of assuming she's not into you and not do anything at all. And of course, if your story is that all attractive women are into you, it'll be true a lot more often.

 

[LosDaddie]

The advice 'Don't be a nice guy' is really rather meaningless when not put into context. Someone should really explain it and what it means and why it's bad and secondly if there's a better way of acting instead of a 'nice guy'. I'm sure there are guys out there who fall into this trap often who seriously don't want to have to become assholes just to become more successful in their love lives..

The core of it is to not be a pushover for a lady you're interested in. Be assertive in your desire for more than friendship. Don't let her think you're just another guy who does stuff for her because she asks nicely. Here's a couple common mistakes guys make:

- Don't be her Errand Boy because it's a 'nice' thing to do for her. (It's one of the most common 'traps' Nice Guys fall into.) Like, it's OK for her to tag along with you while you take care of errands you need to do, but don't go driving her all around town because she has things to take care of. Let figure how to do that stuff on her own (like she did before she met you).

- Don't be her ear / shoulder to cry on about her problems, at least not before you're smanging that thing....especially not guy-problems. That's the role of her girlfriends.

So, I ask the all knowledgeable GAF.... Was this an invitation?

It's an invitation to stop being timid and ask her out, especially true if there's indeed been sexual tension between you guys in the past, and not just you projecting your feelings onto the situation(s). Unless she's the type who hugs everyone all the time, she's telling you that she's OK with you touching her, that she's OK with you being in her personal space.

But yes, the whole situation could just be drunken fun while singing at the bar together. She could've just been playing the role there. I'd need to know exactly what "she and I hang out a lot" actually means.

Go for it. CAll her to set up a date alone together. Definitely don't go asking through friends, or ask her "What Did The Other Night Mean???" or anything silly like that. She will know what's up when you call her to set up a date.

 

[Xun]

Xun: Maybe I'll link to all your facebook pictures buddy

Haha, no thanks.

I didn't see that one but I remember other pics you've posted. Think I've seen your okc profile as well.

Ah yes, of course!

 

[Minamu]

Haha, no thanks.

Don't sweat it I like my picture from last night, and I'm always self-conscious about my looks (I really need to stop saying that).

 

[Future PhaZe]

It's a balancing act. My advice is be yourself, but that answer doesn't always fly around here.

Standard protocol is to be yourself but always approach each potential date with the mindset of okay, this may not work out, and that's fine.

Don't text her like crazy a day after the date asking why she's not responding and if she liked you. Just sit back and if she initiates something, she initiates something. There are timid girls out there who don't really know what they want after a date, and GAF tends to be impatient. Calling a girl out on her indecision and lack of communication could eliminate something that actually had potential.

 

[Gucci Messiah]

I'm of the opinion that it's better to assume interest and try to find out (not in a crass gropy way of course) instead of assuming she's not into you and not do anything at all. And of course, if your story is that all attractive women are into you, it'll be true a lot more often.

Different strokes. In a delicate situation with a close female friend I would not make any moves whatsoever, let her do the work.

 

[Stylo]

I'm sure that meeting up for ice cream/coffee is a good idea. What I am unsure of is how to proceed on this. Something like this is supposed to be casual so should I back off on heavy flirting or tread lightly? Should I make my intentions more clear at the end?

I thought of letting everything come naturally, but I was advised against some of the things I initially planned. So many questions, so little experience (@_@).

 

[Devolution]

The advice 'Don't be a nice guy' is really rather meaningless when not put into context. Someone should really explain it and what it means and why it's bad and secondly if there's a better way of acting instead of a 'nice guy'. I'm sure there are guys out there who fall into this trap often who seriously don't want to have to become assholes just to become more successful in their love lives. Hell, I'm sure I do some 'nice guy' things without even acknowledging or realising. It can be hard to tell if you're the kind of person that could also be percieved as a nice guy because you simply don't care. For example, I was engaging in texting banter with a girl recently and she'd always apologise for texting a few hours late when she was busy, I just ignored it and just texted back. It wasn't because I was putting her on a pedestal but rather I just didn't give a shit and had my own shit to do.

No one has to become an asshole but being a doormat shows you're desperate. No one, who genuinely wants to be with someone, wants to deal with a relationship that's based on desperation and not wanting to be lonely. Women (and men too) can sense this and essentially don't want to be with someone with that kind of dependency.