The_Inquisitor
Member
It's spam man.
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Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
- Start date
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It's spam man.
Flying Toaster
Member
It is spam but if your lonely why not?
I figured as much. Thanks guys. I deleted the message.
NeOak
Member
I got the same text and my number is not from the continental US. Veeery creepy lol
The Meta-Level is where you don't care that you don't care.
You don't even notice that you are not caring about the outcome, in other words.
Whats up guys, is there any advices about the diference in ages (i know the divide/2 + 7 rule)
But this is different. Theres this girl that i knew recently but she is 25 and im 21. So far the conversations are great and we are very comfortable in the small-talk
But im kind of scared of going further for the age...
Is this common, or im just being a pussy??
But this is different. Theres this girl that i knew recently but she is 25 and im 21. So far the conversations are great and we are very comfortable in the small-talk
But im kind of scared of going further for the age...
Is this common, or im just being a pussy??
Wat
Count Dookkake
Member
That rule is only for the weak and cowardly.
Thats a whopping 4 year difference...1 or 2 years is fine, but FOUR WHOLE years? Stop talking to her immediately.
Hey GAF,
This is mostly just me venting/complaining more than anything, but sometimes it just helps to talk about it, so here goes.
My ex, who hasn't talked to me or really acknowledged my existence in any way for like six months, IMed me out of the blue on Facebook back on Sunday night/Monday morning at like...close to 2AM. I'm pretty sure she'd only even been back in the States for like a day or two at that point since she'd been studying abroad last semester.
Anyway, it was a pretty brief and odd conversation. She suggested a blueberry flavored beer because back when we had been dating I was on a kind of quest to find the best tasting blueberry beer. I love berry flavored beer. Anyway, after a couple back and forths about beer that was pretty much the conversation.
So yeah...it was just really surprising / kinda weird to me.
But the worst part is I've had absolutely nothing to do and nobody's been around to do anything with these last few days, so after the holiday I've had a lot of alone time, which has led to a lot of thinking. As dumb as it sounds that conversation, which lasted a whopping handful of sentences, has left me pretty bummed out. Honestly I still miss her and I feel like I've almost reverted back to how I felt shortly after the breakup happened.
It's not like I haven't been putting myself out there or anything, I've been on OKCupid for a good while now and I even had a date a month ago with a gal I met at a party, and it's not like my life has been miserable or anything. I just realize how much I still miss and care about her.
Feels bad, mang.
This is mostly just me venting/complaining more than anything, but sometimes it just helps to talk about it, so here goes.
My ex, who hasn't talked to me or really acknowledged my existence in any way for like six months, IMed me out of the blue on Facebook back on Sunday night/Monday morning at like...close to 2AM. I'm pretty sure she'd only even been back in the States for like a day or two at that point since she'd been studying abroad last semester.
Anyway, it was a pretty brief and odd conversation. She suggested a blueberry flavored beer because back when we had been dating I was on a kind of quest to find the best tasting blueberry beer. I love berry flavored beer. Anyway, after a couple back and forths about beer that was pretty much the conversation.
So yeah...it was just really surprising / kinda weird to me.
But the worst part is I've had absolutely nothing to do and nobody's been around to do anything with these last few days, so after the holiday I've had a lot of alone time, which has led to a lot of thinking. As dumb as it sounds that conversation, which lasted a whopping handful of sentences, has left me pretty bummed out. Honestly I still miss her and I feel like I've almost reverted back to how I felt shortly after the breakup happened.
It's not like I haven't been putting myself out there or anything, I've been on OKCupid for a good while now and I even had a date a month ago with a gal I met at a party, and it's not like my life has been miserable or anything. I just realize how much I still miss and care about her.
Feels bad, mang.
That's a thought that I've certainly considered, I'm just not entirely convinced. When I think back to the stuff I miss, it's less about the relationshipy stuff and more about the tiny little things that we had. Just random things that are hard to contextualize.
I'm also a huge overanalyzer/thinker, so half the problem too is that I'm like "Why now?" "Why beer as the conversation topic?" "What does she want?"
Worst of all I realize it's a dumb waste of time, yet here I am. :-/
I'm also a huge overanalyzer/thinker, so half the problem too is that I'm like "Why now?" "Why beer as the conversation topic?" "What does she want?"
Worst of all I realize it's a dumb waste of time, yet here I am. :-/
Doctor West
Member
I was sending a bunch of messages with this girl for about a week. She usually replied within the hour and never missed a day, which is pretty rare for dating sites. After about 15 small, text-like messages I got enough sense of her personality to ask her out (It was like pulling teeth at first due to her self-described shyness). She happily agreed and I sent her another message continuing the conversation that we'd started. It's now five days later and there is no response back. WTF? I have no interest in chasing this girl after I already let her know that I would like to take her to dinner and she agreed. Lost cause?
There is another girl that I talked about on here before. Basically we went out on two dates that were great, but there were platonic. We almost went out a third time but scheduling and the holidays got in the way. We have been texting very sporadically up until last Sunday when it just randomly stopped. I know for a fact that this girl plays games, but this is the longest we've gone without talking. I'm not breaking down and contacting her since my text was the last one sent. So, lost cause? lol
There is another girl that I talked about on here before. Basically we went out on two dates that were great, but there were platonic. We almost went out a third time but scheduling and the holidays got in the way. We have been texting very sporadically up until last Sunday when it just randomly stopped. I know for a fact that this girl plays games, but this is the longest we've gone without talking. I'm not breaking down and contacting her since my text was the last one sent. So, lost cause? lol
Vermillion
Banned
Forget about them, you know there's other women out there you could date.
You'll have cute little "things" with every girl, it'll always be different...I still remember the things I had with my ex, and she just recently started texting me again, but I dont miss her at all because Im already in a new relationship...if I was still single Id be overanalyzing her intentions...sometimes women are just bored, sometimes they wanna show you theyre not bitter, sometimes they wanna show you they moved on, etc.
I never post in these threads, but I just had the craziest thing happen to me.
I met this girl at a party with a mutual friend about 6 months ago, we chilled together and had a good time, but we went our seperate ways (wasn't really looking for anything at that time) and I never heard from her again.
But about 2 weeks ago I hear from our mutual friend that recently the girl has been looking for me on facebook, has expressed her interest in me, and she gave our mutual friend permission to give me her number. I wasn't crazy into her or anything but shes cute so I figure what the hell.
This past weekend our mutual friend threw a Christmas party and the plan was to set us up, (apparently she got 1 hour of sleep just to make it to the party) so we spend the whole day and night together and she gives me all the signs and green lights and all the stuff I'm used to looking for in a mutual attraction, but the problem is our mutual friend has kids and so this party was PACKED to the brim with them, and it was partly our job to keep an eye on them. So because of this we didn't really get much alone time together where I could make a move, but I asked her out on a date and she agreed. I left the party thinking I was in there...but the next day after the party I tried to text her and no response. I didn't think much of it but I called our mutual friend to ask if thats still her number anyways, she tells me that her phone isn't working ATM but said not to worry about it.
So tonight I'm going through my phone and I see her name and I figure what the hell, I'll try again. About 10 minutes after I text her I get a phone call from some number I've never seen before, as I do with all calls like this I let it go to voicemail. I text the strange number and ask the person why they are calling this number. They tell me they are looking for someone named Steve, I say there is no Steve here and my contact with that person ends. Then about 40 minutes after that I get another call from another number I've never seen before and so I ignore it, 10 seconds later I get a text from that same number saying "Hey.", I respond asking who the caller is and there is no subsequent response in return.
After all that I decide this can't be a coincidence so I text the girls number and ask her if she just had 2 people call my number. Shortly after I get a text from her number saying "Who is this?" I texted her back identifying myself and her response is "fuck off."
So this girl who was apparently into me for months without any of my knowledge, allows herself to be setup with me at a party, gives me all the green lights, agrees to a date with me, and then tells me to fuck off with 0 contact inbetween.
Now I'm about to call our mutual friend and ask her just what the hell happened here, this girl seemed totally normal at both parties but this is some batshit crazy behavior.
I met this girl at a party with a mutual friend about 6 months ago, we chilled together and had a good time, but we went our seperate ways (wasn't really looking for anything at that time) and I never heard from her again.
But about 2 weeks ago I hear from our mutual friend that recently the girl has been looking for me on facebook, has expressed her interest in me, and she gave our mutual friend permission to give me her number. I wasn't crazy into her or anything but shes cute so I figure what the hell.
This past weekend our mutual friend threw a Christmas party and the plan was to set us up, (apparently she got 1 hour of sleep just to make it to the party) so we spend the whole day and night together and she gives me all the signs and green lights and all the stuff I'm used to looking for in a mutual attraction, but the problem is our mutual friend has kids and so this party was PACKED to the brim with them, and it was partly our job to keep an eye on them. So because of this we didn't really get much alone time together where I could make a move, but I asked her out on a date and she agreed. I left the party thinking I was in there...but the next day after the party I tried to text her and no response. I didn't think much of it but I called our mutual friend to ask if thats still her number anyways, she tells me that her phone isn't working ATM but said not to worry about it.
So tonight I'm going through my phone and I see her name and I figure what the hell, I'll try again. About 10 minutes after I text her I get a phone call from some number I've never seen before, as I do with all calls like this I let it go to voicemail. I text the strange number and ask the person why they are calling this number. They tell me they are looking for someone named Steve, I say there is no Steve here and my contact with that person ends. Then about 40 minutes after that I get another call from another number I've never seen before and so I ignore it, 10 seconds later I get a text from that same number saying "Hey.", I respond asking who the caller is and there is no subsequent response in return.
After all that I decide this can't be a coincidence so I text the girls number and ask her if she just had 2 people call my number. Shortly after I get a text from her number saying "Who is this?" I texted her back identifying myself and her response is "fuck off."
So this girl who was apparently into me for months without any of my knowledge, allows herself to be setup with me at a party, gives me all the green lights, agrees to a date with me, and then tells me to fuck off with 0 contact inbetween.
Now I'm about to call our mutual friend and ask her just what the hell happened here, this girl seemed totally normal at both parties but this is some batshit crazy behavior.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Well alrightThere's only been a couple of weeks for you with this stuff so that things are going slow is not unexpected. I've had at least 8 years wasted too and I've been following this line of thought since summer 2011 or so. I'm not rolling in pussy either and progress is slow, my subconscious apparently wants it that way. I'm struggling to figure out why and I could probably do a short essay here on why that is. I find it kinda hard too to not care about not sleeping with a new woman every weekend (for example) but I'm also accepting it all and finding pleasure in the journey itself. I like this stuff because prior to it all, I saw no progress being made in life whatsoever and now I do regularly. It might be slow for some obscure reason but it's steady for once.
Yeah, there is something I find very fascinating about how people's minds work in this. Part of me is really curious about this just because I'm naturally curious.
I really am curious, how much success have you experienced since 2011? I'm not asking how many women you slept with, but did you manage to enjoy yourself and have other women enjoy being with you?
Before watching those videos, I thought my last relationship ended badly because I didn't care enough. I figured if I was going to do it this time, I would do it differently. Of course when I started watching, I'm like, WTF!?
I definitely understand the part about being a creepy pursuer and being too needy. Thank god I never was like that. I'm actually really comfortable with being who I am. When I thought I wanted to date my co-worker, I wanted to dress better or look sharper, yet no matter what, I couldn't go through with it cause I didn't care enough. I'm more comfortable dressing like a slob than I am with suit and tie. Maybe I need to find my own style that I can be comfortable with and not be a slob. I have no fashion sense sadly.
That is some weird fucking shit indeed. Please let us know if you got any update on this as well.
Crazy gals out there yo.
It's an ongoing journey of course. It sounds corny but after summer 2011 I felt reborn, or perhaps I simply woke up. The later half of 2011 and all of 2012 has been the best time in my life, no question about it. I don't want to name numbers, they aren't that many anyway, but the increase percentagewise is in the several hundreds. One of the women turned into a real friend, who has even read this thread. Moving to a new city in 2010 changed me a lot but this changed me once more and always for the better imho. I also realized that others do enjoy being around me and women are attracted to what I can offer. And that's not really anything new, I just never saw it before. All kinds of people of both sexes seem to enjoy my company wherever I am. Sure, I could've slept with a new girl several times a week all 2012 from what I've seen and experienced but I haven't for several reasons (standards, refuse to chase etc) and I've had countless opportunities and encounters of a more intimate kind but I've also realized that it's pretty meaningless in the end. I'm happy either way. 2013 is looking like a killer year and it has nothing to do with how many times I'll get laid or whatever
If you have more questions, just send a pm if you'd like.As for being more comfortable as a slob and not caring enough to change, I'd look myself in the mirror and see if there's an underlying reason behind feeling like that. It's important to know objectively why you wanted to change as soon as a woman entered your life. There are other styles than a suit and tie
A well-dressed and unique style is more than alright. There's always Manshion here on gaf and if you have any women in your life, at work perhaps, they can probably help you a lot with that. Clothing stores usually know what they're doing too (there's always the risk that they're just trying to sell the most expensive stuff but still).Update on the "the only TV in the house is 15 inches" girl:
Deflected it by saying we'd have to figure something out to deal with that ( after that she magically found all the movies I recommended on iTunes and watched one on her laptop). Then she wrote me a message that sounded pretty awkward asking me out for coffee when she gets back from vacation and then immediately apologizes for stretching and using words she normally wouldnt use/doesnt really know how to use.
I was intrigued with her at first because she didn't seem intimidated but that last message was a bit off-putting. I'm not entirely sure how to go from here. Do I just brush it off as a brief lapse in intimidation or is this a sign of how things might be long term?
Deflected it by saying we'd have to figure something out to deal with that ( after that she magically found all the movies I recommended on iTunes and watched one on her laptop). Then she wrote me a message that sounded pretty awkward asking me out for coffee when she gets back from vacation and then immediately apologizes for stretching and using words she normally wouldnt use/doesnt really know how to use.
I was intrigued with her at first because she didn't seem intimidated but that last message was a bit off-putting. I'm not entirely sure how to go from here. Do I just brush it off as a brief lapse in intimidation or is this a sign of how things might be long term?
who cares, she likes you. how do you even know it's going to be long term? just go out with her lol
I just dont want to waste my time.
The_Inquisitor
Member
Apparently I have game. Clicking with this girl over text even before our first date next month.
Man I had no idea how depressed I was with my ex girlfriend.
Man I had no idea how depressed I was with my ex girlfriend.
You won't know for sure until you actually get some lengthy face-to-face chat time, so again, just go for it.
PflargBlarg
Member
Surely you can handle wasting the time one date takes.
So the girl who gave me some (probably nonsense) spiel about being too in love with her ex-boyfriend who she's going to get back together with and get married, etc, has tried to contact me twice so far. I ignored the first one with a simple "Hey, hope you have a good christmas!" which I didn't really realise because I was replying to a bunch of messages and now just ignored a 'hey how are you'.
I know cutting her out of my life is the best way forward. She seems crazy, but that doesn't make it any easier. Up until then I thought she was pretty cool. The entire situation has me feeling a little frustrated and angry, I'll admit. Not so much upset, just disappointed.
/rant.
I know cutting her out of my life is the best way forward. She seems crazy, but that doesn't make it any easier. Up until then I thought she was pretty cool. The entire situation has me feeling a little frustrated and angry, I'll admit. Not so much upset, just disappointed.
/rant.
I have also experienced this the past months. I enjoy nearly every day now. Actually seeing self-development pay off is amazing.
Is she single at the moment? Also how long ago was the nonsense?
Girls are always a bit crazy and confused when breaking up with their ex. Maybe enough time has passed and she knows that he is not for her. I dont want to give you false hope or anything though.
Yes, she's single.
It was a girl I met a while ago but only really started talking to about two and a bit months ago, we went on weekly dates because we were both really busy. I found it really difficult to physically escalate on this girl because she seemed very averse to physical contact (not just with me) and therefore found it really difficult to make a move. Anyway we were out last weekend and I said "look I don't really know where I stand, I like you, what's going on?" because she was acting really cold and distant that whole week. She gives me some spiel about her ex-boyfriend, who as far as I'm aware has a new girlfriend and has been broken up with this girl for a number of years (>2). She was like "You're a young lawyer you'll find someone no problems!", and "You're not the first one who's liked me." Which pissed me off to be honest. Who says shit like that? I stated that I had thought she was loveshy to which she snapped back "I'm not at all loveshy!", to which I responded that I kind of was, and usually feel a fair bit of anxiety when getting intimate. She basically brushed it off with something like "Well at least I know you're not a manwhore." Which REALLY pissed me off. "It was nice going to nice cafes and restaurants with you and I wanna keep doing that, it sucks how all my high school friends have deserted me and yet you're still very close to yours."
Sorry I just need to rant about this a bit more. Just to get it off my chest a little bit. Because it's still quite annoying. It's not the fact that I was in a sense friendzoned, it was just the manner in which it was done that pisses me off. I've been friendzoned once or twice before, comes with the territory of having a bit of anxiety when getting intimate and finding it difficult to make a move, but this was just an order of magnitude in terms of bad treatment.
I'm not sure to what extent her story was bullshit, but at this point if it was bullshit, I don't really want to spend my time with someone who acts like that and thinks it's ok to treat people as badly as she did, or she's telling the truth and has far more baggage than I can handle.
You speak words of wisdom, but that doesn't make the task any easier. Sigh.
MisterNegative
Banned
Skel1ingt0n
I can't *believe* these lazy developers keep making file sizes so damn large. Btw, how does technology work?
I occasionally lurk in this thread, but figured I'd stop in and see what you single fellows (and ladies) are doing for New Year's Eve.
I was with my ex for more than four years, and we broke up about this time last year; so I skipped over NYE festivities. However, this year I'd like to do something, but being 23, it's my first time - ever - being able to actually go to a real place that serves alcohol and whatnot, rather than a house party.
For what it's worth - I don't think I have much trouble getting a date in general. In the last year, I've gone out with a small handful of ladies, casually; and while they're all very nice/pretty, none of them really clicked and didn't last past a third time out or so. Sometimes I could see I wasn't right for them, and others it was very obvious to me they didn't do much for me. But that's okay - that's the whole point of looking. I'm in no rush, at all; but I'm open to a good relationship if it comes.
One of my best friends and his GF are going to this place downtown that's like $80 for a ticket with music/entertainment, all-you-can-drink and heavy snacks. He said his GF is bringing a couple of her girl friends, and I should come along, too. I know - this is a good opportunity to have fun - but while I'm not on the pitty pot, it just doesn't sound like my style at all. Drop $100 to stand around a bar where everyone else has a date and my best friend is at least mildly pre-occupied with his GF. I dunno, just sounds... meh.
lol, there wasn't really a question there, was there...?
I was with my ex for more than four years, and we broke up about this time last year; so I skipped over NYE festivities. However, this year I'd like to do something, but being 23, it's my first time - ever - being able to actually go to a real place that serves alcohol and whatnot, rather than a house party.
For what it's worth - I don't think I have much trouble getting a date in general. In the last year, I've gone out with a small handful of ladies, casually; and while they're all very nice/pretty, none of them really clicked and didn't last past a third time out or so. Sometimes I could see I wasn't right for them, and others it was very obvious to me they didn't do much for me. But that's okay - that's the whole point of looking. I'm in no rush, at all; but I'm open to a good relationship if it comes.
One of my best friends and his GF are going to this place downtown that's like $80 for a ticket with music/entertainment, all-you-can-drink and heavy snacks. He said his GF is bringing a couple of her girl friends, and I should come along, too. I know - this is a good opportunity to have fun - but while I'm not on the pitty pot, it just doesn't sound like my style at all. Drop $100 to stand around a bar where everyone else has a date and my best friend is at least mildly pre-occupied with his GF. I dunno, just sounds... meh.
lol, there wasn't really a question there, was there...?
Ok got the message, its just a tabu
Good thing i wasnt stupid enough to cut conversations with her
Im going for it Minamu
Count Dookkake
Member
electricshake
Member
House parties are where it's at.
Skel1ingt0n
I can't *believe* these lazy developers keep making file sizes so damn large. Btw, how does technology work?
Yeah, I had a lot of fun with them in college the few times I'd go.
However, all my friends are out of school. Most of them have careers/jobs. Everyone from work is going downtown. My friends are going somewhere else - but downtown. I think I've passed the age threshold for house parties, I guess.
The only people doing stuff at home are couples and single girls I know.
electricshake
Member
Aw really? I've found as I've gotten older, house parties become the norm (I'm 26). I still love a good night out - I love to get drunk and dance but don't feel comfortable doing it at a party. But if you don't have anything else lined up, you might as well go out and make the most of it.
manfestival
Member
gotta say, I used to be devastated by any sort of rejection even if it was insignificant... now rejection still somewhat bothers me but everytime it happens... I realize how it doesnt matter and its not a big deal. Rejection just makes me hesitate
anyways the chick that ive been talking to that is on her 2 week vacation and I have been chatting about every day and I finally built up some courage to hang out when she comes back(she already suggested a place but I wanted to do something without dancing). Told her to hurry back to cause I got plans for her and I . Now im considering taking her to lunch and then we go to the aquarium and maybe walk around the downtown area(place called channel side which is small but ok for like a 5-10 min stroll). Plus it would be saturday during the day instead of doing formal dinner and etc. Is this a good idea and should I just stick with lunch and aquarium? Suggestions are welcomes
anyways the chick that ive been talking to that is on her 2 week vacation and I have been chatting about every day and I finally built up some courage to hang out when she comes back(she already suggested a place but I wanted to do something without dancing). Told her to hurry back to cause I got plans for her and I . Now im considering taking her to lunch and then we go to the aquarium and maybe walk around the downtown area(place called channel side which is small but ok for like a 5-10 min stroll). Plus it would be saturday during the day instead of doing formal dinner and etc. Is this a good idea and should I just stick with lunch and aquarium? Suggestions are welcomes
Devolution
Member
Vermillion
Banned
Different generations.
Besides, not everyone has time during the week to meet up. It's some degree of contact that you can keep going consistently, instead of ignoring them until the weekend.
Devolution
Member
Different generations aside you've got to interact with people in person enough to get a sense of who they are. If this is the person you're going to eventually live with and go steady with, it behooves you to meet in person as much as possible. Otherwise they might as well just be a fuck buddy.
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