Count Dookkake
Member
Irrelevant.
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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
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Irrelevant.
Vermillion
Banned
Well, of course you have to talk to them in person. Doesn't mean ignore texting.
?
Particularly after you meet them. You want to wait a week before contacting them, that's fine. Remember the not texting thing is a preference.
Vermillion
Banned
So you don't wait too long to talk to them. So you aren't going a week or more with radio silence if you can't meet up.
Count Dookkake
Member
Generation has nothing to do with it.
I've probably fucked as many girls your age as you have.
There is a thing as being too available, regardless of one's age.
Devolution
Member
No it means that some people inevitably text way more than is necessary and ultimately sacrifice face to face time.
Vermillion
Banned
More, and while that's true, I'm saying texting isn't as bad as you make it out to be.
Yeah, I'm saying that sometimes it's useful. The more face-to-face time, the better, of course.
Cow Mengde
Banned
As for being more comfortable as a slob and not caring enough to change, I'd look myself in the mirror and see if there's an underlying reason behind feeling like that. It's important to know objectively why you wanted to change as soon as a woman entered your life. There are other styles than a suit and tieA well-dressed and unique style is more than alright. There's always Manshion here on gaf and if you have any women in your life, at work perhaps, they can probably help you a lot with that. Clothing stores usually know what they're doing too (there's always the risk that they're just trying to sell the most expensive stuff but still).
Well, I definitely want to be more presentable when I'm outside. I guess the biggest issue is that I just have no sense of style and fashion. I've grown very comfortable with who I am. The suit and tie thing partly has to do with work. I gotta dress professional, after all.
Oh, I'm also a short Chinese guy, and buying cloths that fit my build might be much harder.
Broke up with my girlfriend last night.
First time I ever break up. We went out for 11 months and 3 weeks. I had the best time of my life with her. But she never really matured. A whole year of being together and she never changed for the better. Oh god I've been crying all day even though I did want to break up with her. But damn. I'm going to really miss her. She was a part of me for a while. Then things started going downhill like a month ago, and its just been real different.
How the hell do I deal with a break up?
An why is it that I want to see her so bad, even tho my intentions were to not have to see her again.
First time I ever break up. We went out for 11 months and 3 weeks. I had the best time of my life with her. But she never really matured. A whole year of being together and she never changed for the better. Oh god I've been crying all day even though I did want to break up with her. But damn. I'm going to really miss her. She was a part of me for a while. Then things started going downhill like a month ago, and its just been real different.
How the hell do I deal with a break up?
An why is it that I want to see her so bad, even tho my intentions were to not have to see her again.
Guys İ need help ASAP and i think this is the right place?
So im currently overseas in the "home" country of Turkey and like an idiot İ've gone dog and done it, tripped head over heels for a girl
The girl is amazing... Blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, insanely intelligent (knows 5 languages)! She has the most adorable tone when she speaks what english she does know and melts my heart each and every time!
İ met her in one of my cousins lectures and immediately felt like we had a connection. She would ask me questions like "would you check out other girls if you had a girlfriend" and other sweet questions.
The thing is... İ fucking blew it i think... On my last day of visiting the city of my cousins university she whispered in my ear as we said our goodbyes "i will miss you so much" in her adorable english tone and i did nothing like a stupod fuck...
Since then İ havent stopped thinking of her and yes i have talked to her since then but it all seems like downhill... She would like all my facebook status/photos that i posted up, ask me if i was going to come back to the city and then İt all stopped... When tried talking to her again her responses seemed cold and as if she didnt want to talk...
But i cant move on... İ hate myself for not acting sooner but i havent been able to move on ... Wtf do i do??
İve been serioisly thinking of just spilling the beans on her...
BTW one thing İ should make aware, Turkish girls are really different to Western girls... Theres no need to "game" them or at least as much as you need to Western girls or so ive experienced...
Sorry about the crappy post btw... Posting from phone really sucks!
So im currently overseas in the "home" country of Turkey and like an idiot İ've gone dog and done it, tripped head over heels for a girl
The girl is amazing... Blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, insanely intelligent (knows 5 languages)! She has the most adorable tone when she speaks what english she does know and melts my heart each and every time!
İ met her in one of my cousins lectures and immediately felt like we had a connection. She would ask me questions like "would you check out other girls if you had a girlfriend" and other sweet questions.
The thing is... İ fucking blew it i think... On my last day of visiting the city of my cousins university she whispered in my ear as we said our goodbyes "i will miss you so much" in her adorable english tone and i did nothing like a stupod fuck...
Since then İ havent stopped thinking of her and yes i have talked to her since then but it all seems like downhill... She would like all my facebook status/photos that i posted up, ask me if i was going to come back to the city and then İt all stopped... When tried talking to her again her responses seemed cold and as if she didnt want to talk...
But i cant move on... İ hate myself for not acting sooner but i havent been able to move on ... Wtf do i do??
İve been serioisly thinking of just spilling the beans on her...
BTW one thing İ should make aware, Turkish girls are really different to Western girls... Theres no need to "game" them or at least as much as you need to Western girls or so ive experienced...
Sorry about the crappy post btw... Posting from phone really sucks!
hawkshockey11
Banned
Guys İ need help ASAP and i think this is the right place?
So im currently overseas in the "home" country of Turkey and like an idiot İ've gone dog and done it, tripped head over heels for a girl
The girl is amazing... Blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, insanely intelligent (knows 5 languages)! She has the most adorable tone when she speaks what english she does know and melts my heart each and every time!
İ met her in one of my cousins lectures and immediately felt like we had a connection. She would ask me questions like "would you check out other girls if you had a girlfriend" and other sweet questions.
The thing is... İ fucking blew it i think... On my last day of visiting the city of my cousins university she whispered in my ear as we said our goodbyes "i will miss you so much" in her adorable english tone and i did nothing like a stupod fuck...
Since then İ havent stopped thinking of her and yes i have talked to her since then but it all seems like downhill... She would like all my facebook status/photos that i posted up, ask me if i was going to come back to the city and then İt all stopped... When tried talking to her again her responses seemed cold and as if she didnt want to talk...
But i cant move on... İ hate myself for not acting sooner but i havent been able to move on ... Wtf do i do??
İve been serioisly thinking of just spilling the beans on her...
BTW one thing İ should make aware, Turkish girls are really different to Western girls... Theres no need to "game" them or at least as much as you need to Western girls or so ive experienced...
Sorry about the crappy post btw... Posting from phone really sucks!
Man up and forget about it. Unless you are going back there for a long period of time then there is no point and you missed out on a hook-up at most.
Yea thanks for the video. Didn't really know any of that stuff.
Yesterday I got really messed up. But this afternoon I worked out a bit. Then I went to work, and now I'm a just stay home, and just do work, and well anyways I start school again in a week. So there's always that to take my time.
She's handling it a little bit differently :/ she's out partying
Nuh man im visiting every year now and will be studying language there in 2 years time so i can move and work there. Thats to do with family and increased opportunity with an Australian degee and being bilingual tho and completely irrelevant to the girl.
Just feel like i could be regretting this one for a long time if i dont do/say something.
Just because she's out partying doesn't mean she's not feeling upset or down about it. I guarantee you that shes incredibly upset about the situation.
Last night something amazing happened bordering or a revelation for me.
I've always felt a bit like some music and movement helped my mood, and I've gotten the odd comment about it over the years, but it really hit me last night like it hasn't before, although circumstances could have played a role.
Anyway, there's this girl I met online, and we'd met in person once before - during the early messages I mentioned this nightclub I really like and she seemed interested in going there, which we did, not before we met at a bar before with some other people (had only 1 drink there, I've had more in other circumstances that didn't really compare).
Eventually we reach the place, start by getting our drinks and head almost directly to the dance floor. Now on occasions like this I'm usually with a friend of mine or a larger group, and while I'm dancing I'm mostly focusing on the music itself and not caring much how I look doing it, or at least trying not to.
However, with this cute girl in front of me and the smile on her face, well, things felt different.
So I find myself getting a bit closer, though gradually and creating a bit more space every once in a while as I sort of second-guess myself, but get to involve a bit more touching and eventually kissing, and much of the rest of the night then sort of escalated from there, but we never really stopped moving along with the music as long as we were exposed to it, it was wonderful.
I kinda surprised myself, it's not the sort of thing I usually do. She was apparently surprised too, as she later mentioned she got a more plain/boring impression from me the first time we met, and than I apparently moved on kinda early in the night though she enjoyed it anyway - she said her plan was to just go out and dance, which was pretty much also mine, even if the mind can't help but wonder. Later still I found myself coming up with quick and sort of witty comments that were flowing out more easily than I'm used to, and she pointed out I had this naughtly grin on me that I was barely noticing until then but she claimed to like.
I like it when this side of me comes out, although it's not terribly frequent, and I clearly want more of it. I think music and motion are the triggers for me more than anything else, maybe those can help other folks here too.
I think I might want to get involved with some musical activity on a more frequent basis on my life (although I'm kinda concerned that messing around with the technical aspects might remove some of the charm from it). i like percussion, maybe it's something worth looking into.
With GAF having such great OTs on all sorts of subjects, is there one on introduction to music or something of the sort?
I'm getting some vague ideas like maybe getting something like drumset for a game like Rock Band to practice without bothering the neighbours if there are no lessons in the area I can start attending in the near future, but I may not be thinking straight yet from the impact of last night.
What feels kinda clear is that I should really do something to get me more exposed to, and especially active in somethign related to music, I really feel it brings out something in me I cherish and want to encourage more of.
I've always felt a bit like some music and movement helped my mood, and I've gotten the odd comment about it over the years, but it really hit me last night like it hasn't before, although circumstances could have played a role.
Anyway, there's this girl I met online, and we'd met in person once before - during the early messages I mentioned this nightclub I really like and she seemed interested in going there, which we did, not before we met at a bar before with some other people (had only 1 drink there, I've had more in other circumstances that didn't really compare).
Eventually we reach the place, start by getting our drinks and head almost directly to the dance floor. Now on occasions like this I'm usually with a friend of mine or a larger group, and while I'm dancing I'm mostly focusing on the music itself and not caring much how I look doing it, or at least trying not to.
However, with this cute girl in front of me and the smile on her face, well, things felt different.
So I find myself getting a bit closer, though gradually and creating a bit more space every once in a while as I sort of second-guess myself, but get to involve a bit more touching and eventually kissing, and much of the rest of the night then sort of escalated from there, but we never really stopped moving along with the music as long as we were exposed to it, it was wonderful.
I kinda surprised myself, it's not the sort of thing I usually do. She was apparently surprised too, as she later mentioned she got a more plain/boring impression from me the first time we met, and than I apparently moved on kinda early in the night though she enjoyed it anyway - she said her plan was to just go out and dance, which was pretty much also mine, even if the mind can't help but wonder. Later still I found myself coming up with quick and sort of witty comments that were flowing out more easily than I'm used to, and she pointed out I had this naughtly grin on me that I was barely noticing until then but she claimed to like.
I like it when this side of me comes out, although it's not terribly frequent, and I clearly want more of it. I think music and motion are the triggers for me more than anything else, maybe those can help other folks here too.
I think I might want to get involved with some musical activity on a more frequent basis on my life (although I'm kinda concerned that messing around with the technical aspects might remove some of the charm from it). i like percussion, maybe it's something worth looking into.
With GAF having such great OTs on all sorts of subjects, is there one on introduction to music or something of the sort?
I'm getting some vague ideas like maybe getting something like drumset for a game like Rock Band to practice without bothering the neighbours if there are no lessons in the area I can start attending in the near future, but I may not be thinking straight yet from the impact of last night.
What feels kinda clear is that I should really do something to get me more exposed to, and especially active in somethign related to music, I really feel it brings out something in me I cherish and want to encourage more of.
AzureSkies
Member
Back in OT3 I talked about originally breaking up with my girlfriend two weeks into the relationship, now we're close to two months and despite it going pretty nicely I still feel that we are too different. It's a shame, as I really do enjoy being with her but I find that we're nothing alike. Should we continue going out or should I break it up soon? It's annoying as I'd love to stay friends with her but I know that isn't going to happen.
Gucci Messiah
Banned
If you're having doubts 2 months in, I'd say it's time to break things off
deejay8595
my posts are "MEH"
Great video!!! Dude is speaking the truth...
cut your losses. It's only going to get worse if you're having these thoughts already
Vermillion
Banned
Why do you feel that different is a bad thing?
Cow Mengde
Banned
What's wrong with being different? You've heard the old saying opposites attract. You are attracted to her even though you're different. If I wanted to date someone exactly like me, I'll date myself.
n64coder
Member
Can you give some examples of things that are different between the two of you? Do you share any common interests at all?
My wife & I are different but we do have a few common interests (family, movies, board games) that we're still together at 15+ years.
I wish I knew someone who was having one, since I never really got the chance to go to any during my college days, and especially not now.
I guess I'll have to put up with that the older I get.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
Dear Internet,
Last summer, after breaking up with my one-year girlfriend, I started talking to someone else I was interested in, trying to get back on the horse. She was in a different town at the time (we're both in college. I stuck around and she'd gone home) so we Facebook messaged a lot. We made plans to get dinner, watch a movie and drink some wine when she got back into town. Fifteen minutes beforehand, she says she's sick and cancels. Trying to reschedule fails utterly: we don't talk for a while, and our interactions last semester were extremely minimal.
Fast-forward to today, where she says she wants to see Django in a status. Rather than ask her along, I just say "me too," which has since resulted in a multi-hour conversation like the ones we used to have last summer. I'm not really asking for advice here, just wanted to share. I'm going to tread carefully, and I'm not sure I'll bring up what happened this summer.
I realize how funny this is in light on the texting/IM debate.
Last summer, after breaking up with my one-year girlfriend, I started talking to someone else I was interested in, trying to get back on the horse. She was in a different town at the time (we're both in college. I stuck around and she'd gone home) so we Facebook messaged a lot. We made plans to get dinner, watch a movie and drink some wine when she got back into town. Fifteen minutes beforehand, she says she's sick and cancels. Trying to reschedule fails utterly: we don't talk for a while, and our interactions last semester were extremely minimal.
Fast-forward to today, where she says she wants to see Django in a status. Rather than ask her along, I just say "me too," which has since resulted in a multi-hour conversation like the ones we used to have last summer. I'm not really asking for advice here, just wanted to share. I'm going to tread carefully, and I'm not sure I'll bring up what happened this summer.
I realize how funny this is in light on the texting/IM debate.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
PflargBlarg
Member
In light of things I've learned from my last girl, flakiness isn't worth it man. Sure there could be some legitimate reason, but cancelling just 15 minutes before sounds to me like total lack of respect or care. I give more notice than that to people that are barely acquaintances. Extremely short notice and rescheduling failures? It just isn't going to happen.
Any moves that might happen to reconnect should be coming from her, not you. She has to prove she's worth your time.
stn
Member
My guess is she entertained the conversations because she just wanted attention from a male. And yeah, the likelihood is she flaked on you and obviously didn't give a shit. My advice would be simply stop talking to her. No more multi-hour conversations at all. What's the point? I wouldn't even talk to her for 5 minutes.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
NeOak
Member
You are investing in her while she doesn't invest in you.
Again, someone please link this man to cubsfan23's post about investment. I'm posting from my phone (again lol)
twilitesparklemotion
Member
Keep in mind it's also winter break and I have nothing else to do. Now, when school starts back and if I think she's pulling the same shit, I'll have no trouble bailing.
I fail at texting women.
My ex was the first girl I had no issue texting effortlessly, without having to really think about not boring her. She wasn't like that, she was very easy to talk to.
Of course as I get more comfortable it is easier to text, but that is after the, "I'm trying to get with this girl stage".
My ex was the first girl I had no issue texting effortlessly, without having to really think about not boring her. She wasn't like that, she was very easy to talk to.
Of course as I get more comfortable it is easier to text, but that is after the, "I'm trying to get with this girl stage".
Etrian Oddity
Member
How did you never go to house parties? I work and go to school and maintain a 3.5+ GPA, and I still manage the occasional social.I wish I knew someone who was having one, since I never really got the chance to go to any during my college days, and especially not now.
I guess I'll have to put up with that the older I get.
PflargBlarg
Member
Something I've remembered in regards to the whole flakiness thing. After we broke up I asked her about why she had kept saying yes to things she had no strong intentions of actually doing. Her response was something about how busy she was with work combined with driving time for her to get any where.
The ironic part is that her response came almost 2 weeks after I asked her. Flakiness during the relationship plus taking forever to answer a question that she encouraged me to ask her and would take about 5 minutes.
I guess the point is, it's not worth dealing with.
The ironic part is that her response came almost 2 weeks after I asked her. Flakiness during the relationship plus taking forever to answer a question that she encouraged me to ask her and would take about 5 minutes.
I guess the point is, it's not worth dealing with.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
If he's anything like me, he doesn't get invited/find out about them. I still have only gone to a very small handful of them.
Been dating this girl for a short while. She is insanely cute and we get on really well. In fact I've never gotten on this well with anyone, male or female, so quickly before.
So earlier I was in a bad mood and I'm super stressed with my uni coursework, so i decide to take a couple days off the internet so i can focus on that and spend time with my family before I travel back to uni. I tell her "I know it's early but Happy New Year, i likely won't be on over new years." She says hi and that it is early. Then I go to say bye (because I wasn't in a very talkative mood)... and somehow me saying bye annoyed her... and she deleted me off of everything because she got annoyed... i left it a little bit and tried to talk to her, to no avail.
I can't be dealing with stupid stuff like that... So my question is:
Do I just walk away, or do i leave it a few days and see what's what? If so, how long?
So earlier I was in a bad mood and I'm super stressed with my uni coursework, so i decide to take a couple days off the internet so i can focus on that and spend time with my family before I travel back to uni. I tell her "I know it's early but Happy New Year, i likely won't be on over new years." She says hi and that it is early. Then I go to say bye (because I wasn't in a very talkative mood)... and somehow me saying bye annoyed her... and she deleted me off of everything because she got annoyed... i left it a little bit and tried to talk to her, to no avail.
I can't be dealing with stupid stuff like that... So my question is:
Do I just walk away, or do i leave it a few days and see what's what? If so, how long?
Yes, I'd love a link to this so I can put it in the op.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
Wait. What?
My reaction exactly.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
I can't even process that. She deleted you off everything because you said bye? Anything you didn't add? Thanks for taking the heat off the girl I mentioned.
Nah, I mentioned everything. This is why I had to post here... I'm just... What.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
If you've made an attempt to see whether there's a misunderstanding, you're done. Put your efforts somewhere else. If she contacts you again, do whatever doesn't get you hurt/is the most fun. She doesn't sound particularly mature.
Yeah, I was thinking something similar. Just needed to hear it from someone else. Cheers man.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
I just tried to see if there was actually a misunderstanding and i got "urgh" in return.
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