wallotext incoming
• Nintendo should stop making hardware. They are not innovators. The Wii and the Wiiu are gimmicky (motion waggle nonsense, unnecessary tablettroller) underpowered consoles designed to be profitable from the get go, or soon after launch. 3DS' 3d sucks and there's no reason for it to exist. Third party support will only continue to dwindle and it won't get better with the next hardware cycle. They're machines dedicated to only playing the 2-6 worhtwhile Nintendo games (released over several years).
• Uncharted 3 was fucking awful. The story was a total mess and the whole game felt like the developers wanted to string together a bunch of "cinematic" gameplay sequences without giving a god damn on how get gamers to feel anything for the characters.
• Halo 4's story was a huge failure. All of the critical story details regarding the forerunner and the didact were locked away in the terminals that I'm sure 98% of the people who played the campaign never unlocked or if unlocked never viewed. In the end it just came out really goofy. Think Prometheus, but with even less critical information. Purely lazy storytelling effort that marred an otherwise solid (looking) game.
• Mario, Zelda, Pokemon, and Co. have been whored out far too much. Too many of the games are carbon copies/reskins/slight updates (princess gets kidnapped, ganon/badguy wants triforce/kidnaps princess, same exact format and structure to entire game world/experience). There needs to be more drastic departures in art styles and stories (ie: Majora's Mask).
• Call of Duty Black Ops 1 was the last remotely enjoyable COD game. Ever since the proliferation of killstreaks from MW2, the game has become the mario kart of shooters. After BLOPS1 the series lost the last of its snappy-ish game feel in favor for clunkiness and huge autoaim spread. Franchise is dead and should die immediately unless they do something radically different (like a new goddamn engine). The entire current existing userbase for that game series is poison: raging teens and preteens, pathetic dudebros, sexually frustrated middle aged men, and people who are still slaves to COD crack for no particular good reason.
• Microsoft are fucking crooks for allowing ads, not just game ads - but ads for products on the dashboard for Gold members. Seriously. It's bullshit.
• If Sony's Orbis or whatever concept is true for the PS4, they have completely lost their fucking minds. You're about to pull a Microsoft Kinect. Children, tweens, party girls, and moms are not your fucking demo get your heads out of your asses.
• Battlefield 3. Is perfect on PC with very few issues. (Why the hell can you indefinitely repair a tank that has lost all of it's armor 5x over?)
• Mass Effect 3 was a really good game. Up until that completely unsatisfying and lazy ending. The new ending is better, but still not what they had been promising for years. Bioware is overrated as a whole.
• People that complain about season passes are fucking whiners. It's reality now, DLC and freemium are here to stay. Deal with it and complain about something else.
• Dead Space 3. Why the fuck did this need co-op? You're 2 games deep into a trilogy EA. No one asked for it or wanted it. A horribly small percentage will play it co-op making it a waste of money.
• Shooters. If you're going to have a campaign - ditch onrail micheal bay "cinematic event" string-a-longs for more large open areas (ie: Farcry 3 as the bar, Halo 1 as the minimum). Seriously, onrails campaigns are boring and played out. No one wants to play those anymore.
• League of Legends. It's just Zygna dota. And anyone with a remote sense of good design will be utterly horrified at some of the characters/skins in that game. Mortified even.
• Killzone. Shitzone. Seriously overrated as a whole. Same for Resistance. And Infamous.
• Medal of Honor. EA should smother it with a pillow. You're not going to make Medal of Honor happen. Stop dumping resources into it immediately. Bring back Mirror's Edge and Bad Company.
• Assassin's Creed 3's story sucked because the main character was boring as shit. Connor has less personality than one of old-man Ezio's soft prune juice poops.
• Ubisoft getting into making movies sounds like a horrible fucking idea.
• Ubisoft not being able to make a GREAT Rainbow Six game is a fucking tragedy. (Or Ghost recon). How the hell did you make not 1 but 2 HAWX but not a good Rainbow Six game? This used to be a genre defining shooter. The fuck Ubi.
...and the grand "brotellthemhowyoureallyfeel" moment...
• I love video games, but they are largely worthless timesinks that offer little to no positive impact to your life: they are distractions from the real world/your life. You spend hundreds and hundreds of hours pouring your time into something that outputs nothing of real value to yourself or society. Take me for instance: if I had been drawing more, learning programming, and exercising more instead of playing battlefield for 300 hours I could be a fitter, brighter, more successful person. I shudder to think at the literal YEARS OF LIFE TIME wasted by the people who play MMO's and criminally drawn out JRPG's over and over.