Schoolgirl, 14, found hanged after father confiscated her phone

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Jason Raize '75 - '04 said:
She began to wear makeup, go out at night and was having sex when she was just 12 years old? Story is beginning to make a bit more sense now, I can understand why her father took the phone off her to look at the messages. This is one of those examples that make me question whether good parenting is a matter of skill or just luck
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It's definitely both. Certainly being more proactive, well-read, and involved in your child's life is always better, but nature cannot always be tamed by nurture.
 
krae_man said:
I remember my sister freaking the fuck out after losing phone privlidges when I was a kid. This was pre-cellphones too so I can only imagine how she would have reacted if she cellphones were around at the time.
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So did my sister. My sister was a party girl, drama queen teen, that's where my theory came from.
 
UnblessedSoul said:
Yep I feel bad for the generation with smartphones in their faces 24/7, such a disconnection from society
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Absolutely. I was subjected to and participated in equals amounts shit I'm not proud of in my school days. But heck, I don't want to imagine what it's like these days with smartphones and social networking sites.
 
Darklord said:
So did my sister. My sister was a party girl, drama queen teen, that's where my theory came from.
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I have vivid memories of my sister freaking out when she got grounded and couldn't go hang out with friends one night. She was screaming and crying and flailing all over.

I never did anything like that of course.
 
Brak said:
It's definitely both. Certainly being more proactive, well-read, and involved in your child's life is always better, but nature cannot always be tamed by nurture.
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Going out to clubs at 12 years old throws out all sorts of red flags about possible abuse/mental illness/drug abuse. A horrible story, and I can't imagine the parents' loss.
 
I'm glad my baby sister didn't get a phone until recently. That way when it does get taken from her it wont be such a huge impact on her social life.
 
see5harp said:
Would......definitely hang out with her.
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Darknessbear said:
Wow, that's horrid.

Why they don't have regular psychology classes and mental health (like physical health) checkups at middle/highschool is curious to me. It seems important to treat mental issues as serious as physical issues, especially at such a vulnerable age. Teaching kids/teens about the mind and how it works, as well as chemical imbalances (and trauma's) should be an important subject...
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bingo, not everyone with mental illness or abuse/neglect is a shut in. Sometimes people do crazy things because of it. Sex and drugs are common ways of self-medicating.
 
Yea, it was distasteful. My parents sure as hell didn't let me go out at 12 when I was a kid and I sure as hell didn't have a cell phone. I think my parents found a condom in my wallet when I was in middle school and it was a whole thing for like a week.
 
see5harp said:
Yea, it was distasteful. My parents sure as hell didn't let me go out at 12 when I was a kid and I sure as hell didn't have a cell phone. I think my parents found a condom in my wallet when I was in middle school and it was a whole thing for like a week.
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Cell phones are very common among younger kids now - it lets their parents keep in touch easier.
 
Started having sex at age 12
Supposedly had an abusive boyfriend
Receiving abusive texts
Parents are divorced

The signs were there. Not sure how involved the parents were.
 
That really sucks.

However, if you have such incriminating evidence on the phone...why not delete it...? Either way, what an unfortunate situation. I bet the dad feels horrible even though its really not his fault.
 
In spite of my protests, many of you reading this thread right now will probably be parents at some point.

When you are, remember that as a parent you do have authority over them but you cannot wantonly violate their privacy.
 
if i were a parent, i wouldn't buy a cellphone for a kid that age. i might keep a spare one around and let them use it when they actually need it to call for a ride or something, but i really don't see why a 12-14 year old needs their own phone. it just causes more trouble then it's worth
 
kirblar said:
Going out to clubs at 12 years old throws out all sorts of red flags about possible abuse/mental illness/drug abuse. A horrible story, and I can't imagine the parents' loss.
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Yeah, I agree. My comment was more speaking about parenting in general, rather than anything in regards to this story.
 
rar said:
if i were a parent, i wouldn't buy a cellphone for a kid that age. i might keep a spare one around and let them use it when they actually need it to call for a ride or something, but i really don't see why a 12-14 year old needs their own phone. it just causes more trouble then it's worth
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That's easy for you to say now but even in middle school all of their friends have a cell phone and your kid is the only person without one.
 
Ushojax said:
Not really. She's a kid and is unlikely to have known what she was doing. I guess she didn't do it 'properly' and ended up giving herself brain damage via asphyxiation instead.
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There's actually a very detailed set of specifications for efficient hanging with regard to type of rope, length of rope, style of knot, and length of drop. It's morbid shit, but people complained when they saw bodies twitching and gurgling... or worse, when the heads popped right off.

GotEmRunnin said:
damn my daughter is 14.....
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Give her a hug and let her know that nothing is can ever get so bad that she can't talk to anyone. I'm saying that with all seriousness.
 
Mesoian said:
Edit: wait, she died 6 days later from a hanging, which was more than likely strangulation rather than the snapping of the neck? Doesn't that sound REALLY odd?
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My guess is the noose wasn't very well tied. She was 14... do you expect her to execute the perfect hanging? Or are you assuming the abusive boyfriend walked in strangled her, then set her up to appear like she was hanging?
 
rar said:
they can deal with it
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Again, as a parent you want to try to give your children as much freedom as possible while still maintaining a proper place in their lives. I'm not saying to definitely give them a cell phone at 12, but it's not as easy as 'they can deal with it' because they may deal with it by doing things worse than texting people.
 
t26 said:
That's easy for you to say now but even in middle school all of their friends have a cell phone and your kid is the only person without one.
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Yeah, I would assume that for this generation it's like being the kid without a tv, but then multiplied by 10 due to the much greater social importance of a phone.
 
GungHo said:
Give her a hug and let her know that nothing is can ever get so bad that she can't talk to anyone. I'm saying that with all seriousness.
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You have no idea friend. We literally went out for ice cream and had a talk this past Saturday after she told her mom last week she hates her life. Damn you American perception of beauty!!!!! My baby actually think she's ugly because she's not tall enough. Her hair is not long enough, etc.
 
marrec said:
Again, as a parent you want to try to give your children as much freedom as possible while still maintaining a proper place in their lives. I'm not saying to definitely give them a cell phone at 12, but it's not as easy as 'they can deal with it' because they may deal with it by doing things worse than texting people.
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Yup. Treating them like toddlers or micro-managing their social lives is even worse.

People are reacting to this as if this never happened before cell-phones.
 
t26 said:
That's easy for you to say now but even in middle school all of their friends have a cell phone and your kid is the only person without one.
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Everyone I knew while growing up had gaming systems, handhelds, ate McDonald's..the works. I survived, as do many. Feel sorry for the parents..I'd just die if my son or my daughter did something so insane.
 
ClassyPenguin said:
Yup. Treating them like toddlers or micro-managing their social lives is even worse.

People are reacting to this as if this never happened before cell-phones.
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I would think teaching them the proper use of a cell phone would be better than restricting them access entirely.
 
t26 said:
That's easy for you to say now but even in middle school all of their friends have a cell phone and your kid is the only person without one.
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Meh, all my friends have had cell phones since middle school and i still don't have one even though i'm in college. You shouldn't buy your kids stuff just because everyone else has one.
I think i grew up to appreciate things more because of this.
 
Darklord said:
My theory is she wanted to teach her parents a lesson and act the drama queen by pretending to do this but fucked up and actually hanged herself. No way does a person intentionally kill them self after an hour and a half of no phone.
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Have you seen gaf after five minutes of 404 errors?
 
ThisWreckage said:
I fucking hate smart phone culture. You've got students and adults thinking that they can't do without their phones for a period over 15 minutes. They actually start to get anxiety. It is depressing and stupid as hell.
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If you read the OP past the topic title, it seems to indicate that she did it because of something on the phone. Not because she didn't have her phone.
 
Forsaken82 said:
My guess is the noose wasn't very well tied. She was 14... do you expect her to execute the perfect hanging? Or are you assuming the abusive boyfriend walked in strangled her, then set her up to appear like she was hanging?
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No, it sounded like some sort of hospital negligence. But it sounds like this happens more often than not so...nevermind.
 
wsoxfan1214 said:
If you read the OP past the topic title, it seems to indicate that she did it because of something on the phone. Not because she didn't have her phone.
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More likely did it due to multiple issues, what with paracetamol overdose in Nov 2011, rumours of circulating pictures, situation surrounding assault and phone confiscation by the police.

There's nothing to specifically suggest that she didn't want them to see anything after the police returned it, nor is there anything to suggest it was because she couldn't live without it or wanted her privacy to be respected. When I came into this thread I was expecting it to be similar to a few past incidents where it was misadventure but this girl had a troubled few years so it is more complex then that, although the coroner did decide on misadventure.

There have been a few cases in the UK of teenage children who seemingly had no issues hanging themselves by misadventure following arguments with their parents.
 
I have a 13 year old daughter and thankfully weathered the storm before the smart phone age with my 21 year old step daughter. It's going to be much different this time around I know that for sure.

I already make my 2 teenagers give me their phones at 9:30pm each school night so that they are not distracted by them when they should be resting for school. Stories like these scare the shit out of me.
 
I had a cellphone at 12. Did stuff after school, made it easy to call the parents when I needed to be picked up. It was huge though.
 
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