we should start a club
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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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we should start a club
It's a shame, music can make me feel better or worse (depending on the song and my mood), so I hoped it could work for you too. But if that show works for you, then that's fine too!
I understand the fear of being alone, not knowing what you may do to yourself if you end up hitting rock bottom. Maybe you could try hanging out with your friend, or inviting him over to play some games or something like that?
And yes, don't be afraid of taking the offer I made before, though I don't want to sound like I'm pressuring you into doing it, lol
Yeah, it's ludicrous that the nurses and/or doctors pressed charges against him. He wasn't in a right state of mind at the time, the people in that hospital are either incompetent fools or stupid shitbags. Either way, I wish you the best, Kevin. Try to stay strong, I know it's not easy, but try to do your best not to lose it if you end up in court. Everything is in your favor in this case, I think.
Oh man that's terrible.
SpartanForce
Member
brah im sleeping like hell. but it feels fineee to do it. best feeling ever. (besides the nightmares sometimes)
Collete
Member
This sounds like the exercise I was first given in that CBT book Bagels recommended me. Probably should pick that up again.
Just keep with it even if it all sounds unproductive in your head. The results will eventually pay off hopefully.
You deserve to be alive as much as a sinful creature I am that deserves to be alive.
You have more potential than you would like to believe.
AdventureRacing
Member
OCD is an anxiety disorder.
Being anxious due to something such as OCPD or OCD would be a normal thing.
Yeah, I've just been watching bits of it basically every day for awhile now.
It's not so much that I'm afraid of what I'll do to myself, as is it the fear of my brain going on a rampage of thoughts that will leave me in a much worst state than I am now. One of the reasons why talking with people helps (even about other things) is that it can distract me from doing that.
Unfortunately my friend is mostly concerned with college, and I'm already hurting him enough as it is by being a deadweight to him lately.
Thanks, I'll be adding you on Steam then (I assume same name as here?).
Bardiche
Member
Neat! A mental health thread.
Argh, it really sucks to have anxiety issues. I always feel stressed, nauseated and emotionally burnt out every day. Running simple errands can feel overwhelming and exhausting, and I never want to leave the house. Social anxiety disorder, inferiority complex, panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder can take a toll on someone at the end of the day.
Argh, it really sucks to have anxiety issues. I always feel stressed, nauseated and emotionally burnt out every day. Running simple errands can feel overwhelming and exhausting, and I never want to leave the house. Social anxiety disorder, inferiority complex, panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder can take a toll on someone at the end of the day.
Sigh, this day was going well (got Injustice today, enjoying it) but something happened again. I'm out of medication and can't seem to get in contact with my case manager and she either doesn't check her damn voice mail or simply isn't returning my calls. Her case load must be in the hundreds so I understand but bleh. Definitely had that awkward moment where I seemed to be on a different page from the rest of my family because of my mental state
I'm just a walking downer and irritant right now it seems, and no one seems to want to deal with that. My mom tried to give me some lexapro, valium and OCD pills . . . I guess she means well, but that's useless. I don't need Valium or some medication I'm not even on. I need my medication goddammit. Now I'll just end up smoking some weed, a very transparent coping mechanism of mine.
Fucking Major Depression, gift that keeps fucking giving.
I'm just a walking downer and irritant right now it seems, and no one seems to want to deal with that. My mom tried to give me some lexapro, valium and OCD pills . . . I guess she means well, but that's useless. I don't need Valium or some medication I'm not even on. I need my medication goddammit. Now I'll just end up smoking some weed, a very transparent coping mechanism of mine.
Fucking Major Depression, gift that keeps fucking giving.
Eep, yeah, you're right. I just tend to get away from focusing on whatever a person is diagnosed with and instead try to focus on the emotions that the issues stem from. It might not make sense to some people, but I find it works for me.
Collete
Member
Heh, glad you did like it!
Yeah I know what you mean. It feels like a huge weight in your head. Sometimes I can't even tolerate being in the location I'm at and mentally break down inside...In the middle of the damn store too.
I found trying to relax myself before I take on any errands helps a little. Do something nice for yourself, play an FPS game, literally smell the roses, make a nice cup of tea, listen to relaxing music, etc. Relax yourself as much as possible before you go.
Have you ever talked to a professional about this though?
Why can't you get a refill on your meds? (Unless I'm missing something)
Also your mother trying to medicate you like that is pretty dangerous, try not to let her do that and go to an actual doctor.
Eh, there's a lot more things worse you can be doing besides smoking weed, so it's not entirely bad I suppose.
A case manager prescribing meds? Never heard of that, but your solution is to call the pharmacy about a refill and they'll contact your case manager or whoever. If they don't respond to that, they are a deadbeat and you need a new one.
So a very classy penguin had link to one of my favorite blogs that showed up on my newsfeed, and it reminded me of this. I think the folks in this thread might get something from it.
Adventures in Depression (from Hyperbole and a Half) is a sometimes funny, mostly just very accurate post about depression and how our minds love to beat ourselves up for no good reason.
She's doing a follow up post tomorrow and I'm looking forward to hearing about her experience, as weird and terrible as that sounds. She's an incredibly gifted storyteller, and I'm sorry that she has to go through this and rather she didn't, but I'm glad she's decided to share it.
Adventures in Depression (from Hyperbole and a Half) is a sometimes funny, mostly just very accurate post about depression and how our minds love to beat ourselves up for no good reason.
She's doing a follow up post tomorrow and I'm looking forward to hearing about her experience, as weird and terrible as that sounds. She's an incredibly gifted storyteller, and I'm sorry that she has to go through this and rather she didn't, but I'm glad she's decided to share it.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Wow, I was just going to post something similar but I was going to wait until tomorrow.
:3
Her blog is amazing in that "holy crap! Are you me?" sort of way.
Interestingly enough the crawling on the floor randomly:
Used to happen to J Robert Oppenheimer, the famous physicist (the guy in my avy). He too suffered depression and it used to manifest it this way when it got really bad.
:3
Her blog is amazing in that "holy crap! Are you me?" sort of way.
Interestingly enough the crawling on the floor randomly:
Used to happen to J Robert Oppenheimer, the famous physicist (the guy in my avy). He too suffered depression and it used to manifest it this way when it got really bad.
Oh, I'm sorry! I jumped the gun a bit. :C Post it tomorrow anyways so we can have a nice discussion about it. Even if it is mostly to say things like: Yeah, that's exactly what depression is like.
I go through my case manager to reach my psychiatrist. I get help from a State run SMI program. I tried calling my pharmacy and they wouldn't request a refill from my doctor. I don't really have the luxury of being picky with my case manager or psychiatrist. That would probably set me back weeks if not months. I only have basic mercy care insurance(Medicaid basically), getting approved for SMI was my only resource in insuring my future mental wellbeing. AZ will cut your insurance benefits in a second, the requirements are constantly and maliciously changing, in an effort to reduce the amount of people getting benefits. I'm at least immune to that(on the mental health side anyway), and all my meds are subsidized, free.
This state has only cut and cut into the mental health infrastructure. Considering Jan Brewer has a mentally ill son, it's quite disgusting and frustrating. In fact I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow, but if my case manager didn't get my voice-mail, I guess I'm not getting transportation. Gah. . .
Edit: At the end of the day, I really can't get mad at my class manager though. I think she has over 300 fucking clients. . .
So a very classy penguin had link to one of my favorite blogs that showed up on my newsfeed, and it reminded me of this. I think the folks in this thread might get something from it.
Adventures in Depression (from Hyperbole and a Half) is a sometimes funny, mostly just very accurate post about depression and how our minds love to beat ourselves up for no good reason.
She's doing a follow up post tomorrow and I'm looking forward to hearing about her experience, as weird and terrible as that sounds. She's an incredibly gifted storyteller, and I'm sorry that she has to go through this and rather she didn't, but I'm glad she's decided to share it.
I'm having some insomnia due to my stomach bothering the heck out of me and the full link made my insomnia... worth it?
Ah, I gotcha. I'm on Medicaid right now, too. I was in a state run program for a couple of years ago and had to deal with a case worker and psychiatrist too, but I was able to directly contact my psych doctor. I don't know if that's because I worked with her at her private practice first or not. I hear you on the state cuts, a lot of case workers and group therapists got laid off when I was in the program, increasing the workloads on everyone else. Now this year, the state cut down on the amount of prescriptions they'll co-pay to 3 a month and I take 5 different meds a day so I have to pay out of pocket. Can't complain though because I have income again now, but no insurance to get me off Medicaid since I'm self-employed.
I hope you get your situation worked out and maybe discuss a way to deal with a situation like this in the future. You shouldn't be so neglected by a program designed to help you. Going off meds cold turkey is almost always a bad thing and I can't believe your case worker isn't responding. They must really be overloaded. Hopefully they get back to you this week.
And yeah, that is pretty shameful of Jan Brewer, you'd think someone in her shoes would have a little more compassion.
Bardiche
Member
One of the worst feelings ever, especially if the location is at school or work, where you have to remain at the location for long periods of time.
It's funny that you mention a huge weight on your head since I feel the same exact way.
I don't know if it's muscle tension in the face, or whether it's a tension headache, but my head feels heavy and tense whenever I'm in public.
Thanks for the advice. I think I get distracted by anticipatory anxiety, so I find it difficult to relax before I head out, but I have found that drinking tea does help me relax, so I'll try that.
I've had a few sessions with counselors here and there, but the sessions weren't very helpful. Although I've been referred to receive CBT sessions, I'm not in the best financial situation to afford continuous CBT sessions.
I've always found it interesting and terrifying that anxiety has the power to warp one's sense of reality. I've been reading about depersonalization and derealization, and it sounds terrible.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
ugh, don't even get me started on the politics of this whole thing. It's disgusting.
I find fiscal conservatives to be as morally reprehensible as bigots and racists. A complete lack of empathy and understanding of empirical evidence (in both economics and health) which is trumped by their ideology.
One of the reasons I want to pursue a Masters in Economics is to explain economic principles and theories to the laymen to stop this from getting out of control.
That feel when you accidently eavesdrop and overhear your mom regretting giving birth to yourself and your siblings.
Happened the other day, can't even blame her....really fucking stung though, almost broke down into tears. We really won the fucking genetic lottery for mental illness. Brother is Bipolar, sister suffers from mild generalized anxiety. We're the goddamn Targaryens. Not sure why I'm thinking about it now. . .
Happened the other day, can't even blame her....really fucking stung though, almost broke down into tears. We really won the fucking genetic lottery for mental illness. Brother is Bipolar, sister suffers from mild generalized anxiety. We're the goddamn Targaryens. Not sure why I'm thinking about it now. . .
Claire Weekes' books are really good for understanding and learning how to deal with anxiety, if you can't afford sessions.
There's also something you can look up called The Linden Method. This is a pretty comprehensive pack you buy, but one of its most useful tips involves the moment you feel panic rising in whatever area of your body, consciously try to make it as bad as possible. This breaks the anticipiation and fear parts of the anxiety, makes you see how in control you really, and exposes all the sensations as essentially unpleasant but completely harmless.
Why does my ink look like such shit?! I hate my scanner and I need to write things by hand because of reasons. It's frustrating.
Bagels, I love that you write on graph paper.
Collete
Member
Yeah, you feel alone and scared when it all happens. You're not sure what to do with yourself and feel all desolate inside. I found that's what happens when I do any errands in the evening. That stuff happens a lot more frequently at night than at day (think that's just me not sure). Also as another recommendation if you can text someone casually in the middle of the day to help you when you feel like that so you won't feel alone?
I know there are places usually in urban cities that offer therapy on a sliding scale fee so you don't pay more than you can afford. Is there a chance you can look into that? (Also counselors in my experience do not offer much help, you need an actual psychologist/psychiatrist to help you.)
Yeah depression can also do that to you, it does get terrifying where you do not know what is real and what isn't. Then you realize there are people who would take advantage of the situation and manipulate your feelings in their favor. It's a terrifying situation...I wish that upon no one to experience and hopefully people get the help they need before it turns that bad...
So a very classy penguin had link to one of my favorite blogs that showed up on my newsfeed, and it reminded me of this. I think the folks in this thread might get something from it.
Adventures in Depression (from Hyperbole and a Half) is a sometimes funny, mostly just very accurate post about depression and how our minds love to beat ourselves up for no good reason.
She's doing a follow up post tomorrow and I'm looking forward to hearing about her experience, as weird and terrible as that sounds. She's an incredibly gifted storyteller, and I'm sorry that she has to go through this and rather she didn't, but I'm glad she's decided to share it.
Oh yeah, I recently posted on her Facebook worried if she was still alive or not. Got the news yesterday she is. Hopefully she's ok now at least.
Edit: actually read the new post...Well she's starting to pull herself out little by little I think. And corn is fucking hilarious.
Is is okay to post good news in here too?
Well, I just had a medical test whose result I was terrified over and everything ended up being just fine. This had paralyzed me with severe anxiety for weeks, so I'm hoping that this is the chance I needed to pick myself up and find a way to better my situation. The feeling of relief is amazing and I'm just trying to bask in its glow for as long as I can.
I just hope that I don't sink back into complacency immediately instead of actually using this feeling to make positive changes for myself. I've done it before after supposed "breakthrough" moments that I thought would permanently change my attitude.
Well, I just had a medical test whose result I was terrified over and everything ended up being just fine. This had paralyzed me with severe anxiety for weeks, so I'm hoping that this is the chance I needed to pick myself up and find a way to better my situation. The feeling of relief is amazing and I'm just trying to bask in its glow for as long as I can.
I just hope that I don't sink back into complacency immediately instead of actually using this feeling to make positive changes for myself. I've done it before after supposed "breakthrough" moments that I thought would permanently change my attitude.
Yes, of course it's okay!
Glad that you did well and have a very good attitude about it. Be sure to have set, concrete goals so that you can keep up the momentum.I guess it feels almost like having a girl you really like invite you to an event on Facebook only to find out its the fucking earth hour. Turn of the lights one hour in your home to show your support for the environment. Cool.
I hope people feel okay sharing good news! I guess I've never seen people get upset because someone else is doing okay. We all kind of celebrate it, actually. This is such a tight-knit community! We're defined by the fact that we care about each other.
So...I'm very happy to hear that the news was good! Definitely ride the wave of good feelings for a bit! But don't feel like this has to catapult you into an entirely new way of life. I do that a lot and so I turn a good event into a failure. Nothing wrong with just enjoying it and having a sunnier outlook for a little bit. The change may not feel as dramatic, but it will still be there, and you'll appreciate it down the road.
Well my therapy session went well. We're probably starting EMDR next week. My transportation arrived on time, which means my case-manager is getting my voice-mail. . .so wtf is going on with my medication? I told my pharmacy to fax my psychiatrist a refill request.
Hopefully this gets resolved soon, going cold turkey off these meds is making me feel like shit.
Hopefully this gets resolved soon, going cold turkey off these meds is making me feel like shit.
It's great. I'd recommend it to anyone, even people who are not ill. "Mind Over Mood," from the OP, is a great place to start if you want to see what it's all about. And check out deviljho's mindfulness guide! That's a really great place to start with the general idea of mindfulness, which is such a big part of CBT.
Many of us have done/are doing CBT. Specific questions? Ask away!
cant get back in the irc for some reason
Oh no!
We all had an issue a few day ago because of some spambot thing on mibbit. It took a day for me to get back in. Hopefully it's just some silly thing. I'll ask swe.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
So a very classy penguin had link to one of my favorite blogs that showed up on my newsfeed, and it reminded me of this. I think the folks in this thread might get something from it.
Adventures in Depression (from Hyperbole and a Half) is a sometimes funny, mostly just very accurate post about depression and how our minds love to beat ourselves up for no good reason.
She's doing a follow up post tomorrow and I'm looking forward to hearing about her experience, as weird and terrible as that sounds. She's an incredibly gifted storyteller, and I'm sorry that she has to go through this and rather she didn't, but I'm glad she's decided to share it.
Man, please, everyone read the hyperbole and a half that Pau/ClassyPenguin posted about. I'm seeing it discussed all over the place. It's just so damn good! I'm going to re-read it so maybe we can discuss a bit. It just rings so true for me! I don't even know where to start.
Feeling a bit down.
Mini rant
I'm just tired of seeing people and coworkers get married have kids and move on to the next step of their lives yet I am stuck. I can't move. I'm a big fat unattractive mess that cannot get a date. I don't think any amount of therapy can change this.
I better stop before I go overboard.
Mini rant
I'm just tired of seeing people and coworkers get married have kids and move on to the next step of their lives yet I am stuck. I can't move. I'm a big fat unattractive mess that cannot get a date. I don't think any amount of therapy can change this.
I better stop before I go overboard.
dutchguyjack
Member
Feeling a bit down.
Mini rant
I'm just tired of seeing people and coworkers get married have kids and move on to the next step of their lives yet I am stuck. I can't move. I'm a big fat unattractive mess that cannot get a date. I don't think any amount of therapy can change this.
I better stop before I go overboard.
Don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to how you were a week ago. Or a year ago.
It's not so much about therapy, although that can help, as it is about resilience. If something pushes you over, you get back up and push it back.
You've been a lot more positive lately. Don't let anyone put you down.
As for the date - as long as you keep working on yourself, on being more comfortable in your own skin, the date will come. Just don't expect the change to take place overnight.
Feeling a bit down.
Mini rant
I'm just tired of seeing people and coworkers get married have kids and move on to the next step of their lives yet I am stuck. I can't move. I'm a big fat unattractive mess that cannot get a date. I don't think any amount of therapy can change this.
I better stop before I go overboard.
Comparing your life to others will only bring you pain. I know it's difficult to keep in perspective, it's something I struggle with that has led to many nights of crying sudden crying spells. Depression is very unfair, but that is the reality of our lives. I just try and be content with myself, which is already difficult enough honestly.
Don't trivialize what therapy can do either. Increasing your self efficacy is very important and can definitively help you do things like get a date. Don't ask me though whether I'm sure it works, never had a fucking romantic relationship in my short life.
Good to hear you got the transportation and therapy in this week, now you gotta get those meds! Man, if I miss more than a few days of my mood stabilizers I can start really flying off the handle.
Re: EMDR, my psychiatrist recommended it to me and I did a session with a hypnotherapist and as soon as I left the office I said "never again". Too much for me to handle personally but I'm sure it's different for everyone. It's like New Age CBT hypnotherapy. If you've been through traumatic events, you're asked to relive the emotions you felt and that can be a lot for some people.
Verbal Intercourse
Banned
This probably won't help but I fucked up my education pretty bad. Went from having a 3.4 to getting Ds and I've medically withdrew from a semester over 3 times now. Most my friends will be graduating while I'm at a sophomore level. I'm new to a large university and have no friends there compared to a healthy social circle I once had at my previous school.
But I'll go back in the Fall and try again. I don't really see another option.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Allie (hyperbole & 1/2) is just amazing.
Thanks guys. I had to step away from the pc just to collect myself or else i will revert back to my old negative posting habits. Something i am trying to change.
When I sign up for okcupid or grindr, ect. I feel so intimidated by the good looking successful guys on there. I signed up for okcupid twice and twice canceled my membership.
Jubei, hearing you say that...you're killing me, man! I love this! It puts a huge smile on my face to see you trying to make this change! I still need to come to Boston and buy you a beer, friend! Keep at it!
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