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[wenis]

How do people deal with the urges to self-harm? I watched a program once about people who could only cope with depression with self-harm. They did it in a safe way, which would not cause long term side-effects. I find it hard not to self-harm, tried to find ways to suppress the need, but nothing seems to work.

having an outlet, mine was my drums and music when I was a teenager, really helped me focus a lot of those feelings and a lot of rage outwardly onto something else that couldn't be harmed. That took me a long time to find for myself what that could be.

It helps to have someone that is aware of your situation and is willing to help you. Even if it's just a ride to Guitar Center as in my case.

 

[Iph]

How do people deal with the urges to self-harm? I watched a program once about people who could only cope with depression with self-harm. They did it in a safe way, which would not cause long term side-effects. I find it hard not to self-harm, tried to find ways to suppress the need, but nothing seems to work.

Go out for a run or some kind of exercise when you have the urge? Make a cup of tea, let it brew and drink it; if you are still focused on the self-harming thoughts after you have gone through these motions I'd try to call a self-help line or go see a doctor. Usually an urge to self-harm is a passing thought or feeling, just like someone having a craving for ice cream. While not always the case, sometimes it is about "mind over matter" and moving your thoughts to a better or more productive outlet when this urge strikes you.

I'm not the best person to hand out advice on this though. I used to get piercings and tattoos when I was making a good amount of cash and was trying to hide/numb off my low feelings. If I had all the piercings still in me that I've gotten over the years I think I'd have 14 or 15. I have a fairly large tattoo, and then some smaller ones in somewhat sensitive areas. Mind you, I wanted the piercings and tattoos too and I still love them, but the act of getting them was also a way of coping with bottled up emotions. It became a form of safe release for me. And it was expensive, so it really made me think about some things that I needed to face and be honest with about myself. And if I ever forget these things, I always have the visual reminders with me. :3

having an outlet, mine was my drums and music when I was a teenager, really helped me focus a lot of those feelings and a lot of rage outwardly onto something else that couldn't be harmed. That took me a long time to find for myself what that could be.

It helps to have someone that is aware of your situation and is willing to help you. Even if it's just a ride to Guitar Center as in my case.

This is a good one. I played the drums in late elementary school and throughout highschool. Played the shit out of them. Sometimes just to smash on something. I had a small collection of warped and broken sticks. You could get 100 different suggestions from a 100 different people on what to have as an outlet and only 1 or 2 might be the right one for you. Or none. It takes times to find that thing that really "clicks" for you.

 

[Bagels]

Hey guys, I have something to share with you all.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=558612#post57887774

Amazing story, and an amazing video comes with it. The video WILL produce feels, so use caution. Basically, one of our members here lost his sister to depression, and he made a video about it to try and help others.

The video:
http://youtu.be/O17aK8tkp9U

That was really amazing! Thanks for crossposting that, Fiction. I asked if we can add it to the OP.

 

[malingenie]

I often find that people who like to say "everybody feels the same way" say that to feel better about themselves. They could surpass their low feelings why can't everyone else? It drives me nuts. Had a long conversation with my girlfriend about it, she kept saying everyone feels like I do sometimes. I know it came from a good place, but she couldn't understand how those things are perceived by the faulty depressed mind. I think we reached a higher level of understanding of each other after that night. But the lesson is useful in many scenarios, you can't completely surmise what your fellow humans are experiencing.

I endorse this. Yep, I've been on all sorts of SSRI's with little effect to increased suicidality, but I've been on venlafaxine for about half a year, I think it helps, I actually can feel it. The withdrawal is no game though, watch out for that.

Yep... Effexor worked for my worst stage so far in life, but the withdrawal was no joke.

 

[Woorloog]

I'll just leave this here.

Does that small creature have only one eye?
Also, it kinda looks like the creature drinking espresso gets stretched... at least in my mind. I kinda imagine it getting taller for some reason.
Funny.

What are those by the way?
Kinda remind me of some creatures in some Japanese animes (don't watch anime but you'll see pics of anime regardless).

 

[many places]

Effexor (venlafaxine), an SNRI (serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor), is known to be an anti-depressant that many people respond well to that is also used to treat generalized anxiety disorder and OCD. I have a friend who takes it and recommended it to me. It's also a slightly older medication so it's usually much cheaper than the newer brands. Remember though, it takes a while of taking it properly and regularly before you will see full/real effects. Most doctors say a max of 2 months, just to be safe but many people see effects as early as 2 weeks. Also, if it doesn't work for you, don't be afraid to try something else. Everyone has a different brain chemistry, so finding the right one for you might not be the first thing you try out.

It is known to have bad withdrawl effects though, so don't just stop taking it cold turkey. Always discuss any medication changes with your doctor. Sometimes taking medications like this for, say, a year can help jumpstart the brain into making it's own "desired, functional mood" chemicals when used in conjunction with healthy lifestyle choices and a healthy mindset. So try not to panic and look at medication as a life sentence.

I'll look into it. If I need to be on meds my entire life, that is fine with me as long as they help me out and give me the ability to actually live my life. Thank you for the recommendation!

 

[many places]

My meds just keeps my baseline more level, fewer valleys and more peaks so to speak. Being numb, or having flat affect is a problem though, but it's better than crying myself to sleep. Rather have an odd crying spell here and their than what it used to be in the past.



I endorse this. Yep, I've been on all sorts of SSRI's with little effect to increased suicidality, but I've been on venlafaxine for about half a year, I think it helps, I actually can feel it. The withdrawal is no game though, watch out for that.

Honestly, I would much rather feel numb than be constantly bombarded with irrational thoughts and worries. If it could make my baseline more level I would be quite happy.

 

[mazeedibeedi]

Hey guys, I have something to share with you all.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=558612#post57887774

Amazing story, and an amazing video comes with it. The video WILL produce feels, so use caution. Basically, one of our members here lost his sister to depression, and he made a video about it to try and help others.

The video:
http://youtu.be/O17aK8tkp9U

Thanks for sharing this. It was amazing and very inspirational.

 

[Bagels]

What is everyone's opinion on medication? Specifically for OCD, anxiety, and depression.

For a little back story, I started taking prozac when I was around the age of 14. When I was 18 and just had graduated high school in 2010, I stopped taking my meds completely. Just dropped them without weening myself off. Ever since then I think my illnesses have gotten ten times worse. The reason I stopped taking them was because I didn't think I needed them anymore and because I was embarrassed of my mental problems and didn't want people at college to think I was crazy and whatnot. Stupid I know and I deeply regret dropping them.

You might be thinking, "well why the fuck don't you start taking meds again?" The answer is because I'm stupid and scared. This past 3 years I've tried so hard to get over my illnesses by myself by trying to new ways of thinking or by trying to fight it in my head. This obviously has not worked and won't ever work. It is just another one of my irrational delusions.

I hate how everyday I'm stuck inside my head worrying and arguing with myself about completely irrational shit that should not matter whatsoever. It has taken it's toll on me physically and especially mentally and I am so fed up with it. Also, just for clarification, I've been struggling with mental illness since I was about 7 years old. I'm now 21 and it is worse than ever.

Can anyone reccommend meds that help? I might get back on prozac but that didn't even fully help. Although I would take it in a heartbeat compared to the crap I'm dealing with now.

Venlafaxine, like Nithidia said, is a common one. Lexapro (escitalopram) is another common one for depression with anxiety. OCD may make things a little more complicated. With multiple overlapping conditions, you're really going to want a psychiatrist to help you pick the right med(s).

 

[Iph]

Does that small creature have only one eye?
Also, it kinda looks like the creature drinking espresso gets stretched... at least in my mind. I kinda imagine it getting taller for some reason.
Funny.

What are those by the way?
Kinda remind me of some creatures in some Japanese animes (don't watch anime but you'll see pics of anime regardless).

If you only see one eye it's supposed to be a side view. I haven't drawn in years so my perspectives might be a little whacked out. The tall/stretched one is simply supposed to be a really tall, lank version of the little creature. They are very similar to totoro from My Neighbour Totoro, which I've seen for the first time recently. Just my bored, modified versions of the little forest spirit troll.. things when sketching with a pen off memory.

 

[Femmeworth]

What is everyone's opinion on medication? Specifically for OCD, anxiety, and depression.

Sounds like me. Though I haven't actually been diagnosed with OCD, only generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder.

 

[User 100115]

That was really amazing! Thanks for crossposting that, Fiction. I asked if we can add it to the OP.

He gave permission, throw it up there! Yay.

 

[Woorloog]

If you only see one eye it's supposed to be a side view. I haven't drawn in years so my perspectives might be a little whacked out. The tall/stretched one is simply supposed to be a really tall, lank version of the little creature. They are very similar to totoro from My Neighbour Totoro, which I've seen for the first time recently. Just my bored, modified versions of the little forest spirit troll.. things when sketching with a pen off memory.

Gotta say the smaller creature has kind of... uniqueness with its one eye (figured it was a perspective thing but couldn't be sure).
Also, totoro. Thought i had seen something similar. It is the pattern in the tall one's fur, and the ears that makes the similarity most striking, i think.

Unfortunate that my scanner is busted, i'd give drawing a try otherwise.

EDIT figurative /facepalm (have glasses, can't facepalm properly). I could take a pic. Well, ignoring that my cellphone cannot send pictures to my laptop, laptop can send pics to the phone though... Bluetooth issue. No idea if i have USB cables.
I reckon i'm going to need a smartphone...

 

[many places]

Sounds like me. Though I haven't actually been diagnosed with OCD, only generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder.

For me , OCD led to the anxiety which led to the depression.

 

[Bagels]

He gave permission, throw it up there! Yay.

Done! At the very top and again with the suicide prevention information. What an amazing story.

 

[ClassyPenguin]

A couple of cool documentaries: and lectures

Stephen Fry's Secret Life of the Manic Depressive Pt 1

Part 2


Depression and treatment differences in men and women

Charlie Rose - Brain Series: Depression roundtable

It's quite frightening how many bogus and religious videos and seminars and "treatments" there are for mental illness. It is of my opinion that for those who are religious, it's fine take solace and comfort in your faith but many groups spread misinformation that lead to the further stigmatization and may lead to not seek professional help and/or worsening symptoms.

 

[Bagels]

A couple of cool documentaries: and lectures

Stephen Fry's Secret Life of the Manic Depressive Pt 1

Part 2


Depression and treatment differences in men and women

Charlie Rose - Brain Series: Depression roundtable

It's quite frightening how many bogus and religious videos and seminars and "treatments" there are for mental illness. It is of my opinion that for those who are religious, it's fine take solace and comfort in your faith but many groups spread misinformation that lead to the further stigmatization and may lead to not seek professional help and/or worsening symptoms.

Thanks for posting all these (and the earlier ones!), CP! Bookmarked!

 

[ClassyPenguin]

The Stephen Fry doc was one of the first things that opened my eyes to thinking that maybe I had depression and kinda began the process of seeking treatment.

 

[Flo]

A couple of cool documentaries: and lectures

Stephen Fry's Secret Life of the Manic Depressive Pt 1

Part 2


Depression and treatment differences in men and women

Charlie Rose - Brain Series: Depression roundtable

It's quite frightening how many bogus and religious videos and seminars and "treatments" there are for mental illness. It is of my opinion that for those who are religious, it's fine take solace and comfort in your faith but many groups spread misinformation that lead to the further stigmatization and may lead to not seek professional help and/or worsening symptoms.

Interesting to watch, thanks for the links.

Been drawing in my new book. Can't exactly make stuff up, but I like drawing from pictures. And animals, as you can see. Nothing else seems to come from my hands, I just sit behind my desk as a zombie. Guess this is better than nothing.

 

[MikeDip]

Well I had an appointment with my psychologist this morning and got some fun news.

He said that I was mush more open and said he could tell I was doing much better due to the way I presented myself and my mannerisms, etc.

Well, I truly believe that this is significantly due to this thread and the chat. It has helped me talk more openly about myself and is a major help.

So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here, you are all angels to me.

 

[ThoseDeafMutes]

Glad to hear it, MD!

 

[Boem]

Happy to hear it Mike

Flo, those pictures are awesome. I'd like to get into drawing/sketching myself. Used to love it as a kid/early teen, but completely ignored it after that. I love to travel - I'm only ever really at peace when I'm in some weird far-off country. I'd love to start a sketchbook of people/places I see. Do you have any idea where I can start to learn drawing again? I notice you're Dutch - Dutch books/websites/whatever are fine!

ClassyPenguin: Thanks for posting those documentaries. That Stephen Fry-doc really helped me when I first saw it a couple of years ago. While I don't think I'm bipolar, a lot of the stories are similar to my own. There's a man who says something like "People often ask me if I'm suicidal. I'm not, but death is always on my mind." The quote works better in the context of the programme, but that was the first time I heard anyone describe the feeling I had had for a number of years by then. It's worth watching. Fry himself is very inspiring as well. He's very honest about the lows he reached over the years - and he got very low. To see where he ended up now (while still battling with depression almost every day) is something worth thinking about.

In other news, had a very, very bad day yesterday. Fucked something up. Woke up as a nervous wreck at half past 5, gave up at 6 and went out for a run. Actually feel better now and capable of doing a full day's work. I think I'm getting better at putting bad things in perspective. Also, even though I've been sober for about 4, 5 months now, I only realized today how much I loved the feeling of being sober. Also, I realized I stopped counting the days of my sobriety, which I take as a sign that sobriety is now my 'default' setting. Yay .

Be nice to yourself, everyone!

 

[User 100115]

That is awesome new MD, I am so happy for you

 

[Collete]

Finally some positive news from this thread, nice work Mike

 

[Ashes]

This is wonderful.

 

[Verbal Intercourse]

Gonna get back into weight lifting/running. Always does wonders. Has anyone else considered starting up?

 

[Pau]

Been drawing in my new book. Can't exactly make stuff up, but I like drawing from pictures. And animals, as you can see. Nothing else seems to come from my hands, I just sit behind my desk as a zombie. Guess this is better than nothing.

I thought the squirrels were an illustration in the book already. Gorgeous! It reminds me of something I'd see in an old children's novel.

Well I had an appointment with my psychologist this morning and got some fun news.

He said that I was mush more open and said he could tell I was doing much better due to the way I presented myself and my mannerisms, etc.

Well, I truly believe that this is significantly due to this thread and the chat. It has helped me talk more openly about myself and is a major help.

So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here, you are all angels to me.

So happy to hear that. <3 <3 <3

Gonna get back into weight lifting/running. Always does wonders. Has anyone else considered starting up?

I started going to the gym a couple of weeks ago actually! I've been trying a spinning class and yesterday was a lifting class. I haven't exercised since middle school so it's been tough. But I'm proud that I'm keeping up with it! Maybe we can each post our progress and keep each other on track.

 

[White Man]

Those pictures are pretty great, Flo.

5 days back on meds, more than before, and I feel pretty decent so far. A bit twitchy and myoclonic, but I think I have to learn to deal with that if it means my worst elements get turned sufficiently down. I'm mildly concerned of a potential seizure, but the doc says if I make it a week without one I'm probably in the clear.

 

[neojubei]

Sigh why do I have to be so fat and ugly and short.

 

[Verbal Intercourse]

I started going to the gym a couple of weeks ago actually! I've been trying a spinning class and yesterday was a lifting class. I haven't exercised since middle school so it's been tough. But I'm proud that I'm keeping up with it! Maybe we can each post our progress and keep each other on track.

Hey good job! If you stick with it you'll get the form down, and then it's just incremental weight progression every week or so. Like all things it becomes habit and second nature if you see it through. I think keeping tabs is a great way to stay motivated. Maybe set some goals and have a weekly wrap-up?

 

[Verbal Intercourse]

Sigh why do I have to be so fat and ugly and short.

Weight you can change. And looks will go a long way if you present yourself well. View this stuff as a challenge and have fun with it. None of those things are a death sentence.

 

[neojubei]

Weight you can change. And looks will go a long way if you present yourself well. View this stuff as a challenge and have fun with it. None of those things are a death sentence.

It is for me.

 

[Verbal Intercourse]

It is for me.

With that attitude, sure. You don't seem to give yourself enough credit. How you choose to think is most important: either be a friend to yourself or choose to be your worst enemy. Aren't you sick of feeling like shit? I think you deserve better treatment, but that starts with you.

 

[Prax]

Interesting to watch, thanks for the links.

Been drawing in my new book. Can't exactly make stuff up, but I like drawing from pictures. And animals, as you can see. Nothing else seems to come from my hands, I just sit behind my desk as a zombie. Guess this is better than nothing.

Those drawings are great though! Adorableee....
Just get those juices flowing and maybe eventually some inner inspiration will spring up.
I think the act of creation of absorbing info and bringing your own interpretation out into art is pretty powerful.
It feels good at least and helps you document part of your experience, right?

Well I had an appointment with my psychologist this morning and got some fun news.

He said that I was mush more open and said he could tell I was doing much better due to the way I presented myself and my mannerisms, etc.

Well, I truly believe that this is significantly due to this thread and the chat. It has helped me talk more openly about myself and is a major help.

So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here, you are all angels to me.

That is awesome to hear~! So glad that this thread is helping some people.
I haven't been into Depgaf chat much lately, but that's really because I have been trying to branch out more and reconnect with old friends and family too. Phew. Spreading that social repertoire out!

It's been a mostly positive experience and I think a part of that credit goes to this thread and its members too. It's inspiring seeing people trying to hard to make their lives better. It makes me want to try harder too. Plus I'm always saying stuff, and I don't want to be a hypocrite, so I try to take my own advice and listen to my own "common sense" more and more.

It is for me.

But it doesn't have to be. Keep working on yourself regardless and trying to find time to just enjoy and not think about having to meet expectations of yourself or others. That moment of freedom deserves some savoring.


As for art! Everyone is doing art! It makes me feel so energized and also want to art and maybe it's a manic-like upswing where I'll burn myself out soon, but for now that's fine by me~~!
Valour and Wyvern, a badass lady and her guardian angel. They are not exactly rolemodels for anyone here, but I love them, and this was recent art I finished a couple of hours ago. :>

 

[ThoseDeafMutes]

Everyone is doing art!

Best I got.

#can'tdraw

 

[Bagels]

Best I got.



#can'tdraw

I've learned to never let my lack of artistic talent stop me! More people need to draw stuff! It gets so dark in here - I like a little levity (or in the case of Flo's drawings, beauty) sprinkled in, you know?

 

[Prax]

Okay.. now I sleep. =v=
Don't let your insomnia or mania or whatever run away with you. Get some rest too, peeps.

 

[Iph]

Gonna get back into weight lifting/running. Always does wonders. Has anyone else considered starting up?

I was doing fitness classes and running regularly a few weeks ago. Got busy with work and a bit off-track but I'm hoping to seriously start back up again today or tomorrow. I'm signed up for a 5 km run even in a few months. It's really helpful for me. One of the guaranteed ways to help with my overall mood, general view on things and health.

 

[Collete]

As for art! Everyone is doing art! It makes me feel so energized and also want to art and maybe it's a manic-like upswing where I'll burn myself out soon, but for now that's fine by me~~!
Valour and Wyvern, a badass lady and her guardian angel. They are not exactly rolemodels for anyone here, but I love them, and this was recent art I finished a couple of hours ago. :>

Yours is awesome as always Prax..*sighs dreamily*
The best I could come up with is try to take a stab at minimalist style paintings.
The title is Drowning

Spoiler

Do I get 40 million dollars now?....Please?...

 

[Bagels]

Yours is awesome as always Prax..*sighs dreamily*
The best I could come up with is try to take a stab at minimalist style paintings.
The title is Drowning

Spoiler

Do I get 40 million dollars now?....Please?...

Very nice, oomi! I still have your painting for the cover of the anthology (which I haven't forgotten about! Working on it!) I owe you and ThoseDeafMutes cartoons now!

 

[Xun]

Problem for me is that art/animation is part of my life, but I lack the motivation to do it. I was praised so much as a kid that I'm afraid of not living up to my expectations, and I know it'll take a while to get back into it all.

I feel that something I find so fun has been stripped away from me, and it's incredibly worrying.

 

[ThoseDeafMutes]

I feel that something I find so fun has been stripped away from me, and it's incredibly worrying.

That happened to my writing when I actually took a writing course. Suddenly I had deadlines and objectives and it sucked all of the desire to write out of me. I've never really got the passion I had when I was 16/17 back. I got the top mark in the state for that particular course, but I just never wanted to go on.

 

[Colin.]

Gonna get back into weight lifting/running. Always does wonders. Has anyone else considered starting up?

I've thought about getting back into my night time weights. Just need to get some new bars for them. If you can motivate yourself to exercise it is something I would recommend to everyone here, it can make quite the difference to your mood. The only annoying thing for me is I get pretty painful prickly heat, hopefully the antihistamines I have will be enough to combat that.

 

[Jack Remington]

Hey guys, glad to see that a thread like this exists.

My story: I've always felt that something wasn't quite right in my head. I've often had periods where everything just seemed wrong and completely unfixable. I've also had periods where I felt really great, but they would never last. I was resistant to the idea of seeing anybody or going on any kind of medication.

Last year I finally decided to see a therapist. He referred me to a psychologist, who diagnosed me as having Bipolar II. He put me on a medication (lamictal), and it really helped a lot. Since starting it last year, I've felt much more stable and focused. I still get sad, like any human being does, but it doesn't seem to spiral down into a black hole like it used to.

I know medication isn't for everyone, but this particular one worked wonders for me.

 

[Prodigal]

If i hooked up a a device to pump my car exhaust into my car and I survived, would I have permanent brain damage?

 

[jb1234]

If i hooked up a a device to pump my car exhaust into my car and I survived, would I have permanent brain damage?

Potentially. And it's very hard to kill yourself with a modern car anyway because of the catalytic converter.

 

[Prodigal]

Potentially. And it's very hard to kill yourself with a modern car anyway because of the catalytic converter.

Well I got a 94 accord, damn things 19 years old

 

[jb1234]

Well I got a 94 accord, damn things 19 years old

Still about twenty years too new.

 

[Verbal Intercourse]

I'm fucking sick of my cognition and all that it entails. It's not even worth posturing the what ifs -- had I sought help in my teens. There's no stability in my life, other than complete stagnation. It has become reliable among the mercurial mood shifts.

The highs and lows and the drastic fluctuations in personality and behavior assault a sense of self. I remember those moments of elated euphoria, now a rarity as mania contorts itself into insufferable rage and sleepless nights. It's a mangled ride that got old a long time ago -- I'm just aware of it now.

I can't realistically imagine much success in my future. I may never match my past creativity, and it sickens me what cognitive decline may have already occurred. This disease is caustic and will be my undoing.

Pretty melodramatic but it's 5:40 AM and I'm bored as shit.

 

[Piano]

I'm fucking sick of my cognition and all that it entails. It's not even worth posturing the what ifs -- had I sought help in my teens. There's no stability in my life, other than complete stagnation. It has become reliable among the mercurial mood shifts.

The highs and lows and the drastic fluctuations in personality and behavior assault a sense of self. I remember those moments of elated euphoria, now a rarity as mania contorts itself into insufferable rage and sleepless nights. It's a mangled ride that got old a long time ago -- I'm just aware of it now.

I can't realistically imagine much success in my future. I may never match my past creativity, and it sickens me what cognitive decline may have already occurred. This disease is caustic and will be my undoing.

Pretty melodramatic but it's 5:40 AM and I'm bored as shit.

What if you get help now? Are you seeking treatment?