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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.

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Really looking forward to E3. I hate how I don't really look forward to much in life beyond stupid media shit like games and movies. But hey it's something right?

Yeah it is. It means the "looking forward" circuitry in your brain is functional. You just need to work on getting it correctly activated in other areas.
 
Maybe you guys need new hobbies, maybe video games aren't your passion anymore. I'm defintely a hypocrite with this post.

I really want to go to this MMA gym for example but my schedule conflicts with their class times :(
 
Maybe you guys need new hobbies, maybe video games aren't your passion anymore. I'm defintely a hypocrite with this post.

I really want to go to this MMA gym for example but my schedule conflicts with their class times :(

I'd like to date but that will never happen.
 
I'm really having problems to sleep, especially if I have to be somewhere the next day. For example, if I have be somewhere at 8-9am... I just stay up. It's because I can't sleep early and I usually stay up till 2 or 3 am (sometimes 4 am) but I'm afraid I won't wake up on time since I really need my 8 hours of sleep).

So I just stay up the entire night and try to stay awake till 8pm so I can fix my sleeping rhytm. This results in me feeling shitty the entire day and when it's finally time to sleep... I don't feel tired anymore and I end up going to bed at like 10 pm or 11 pm.

Problem is, I've been awake for too long so I end up sleeping till 2pm-3pm (that's like 14-15 hrs of sleep) and then I'm not tired the next night and I end up staying awake till 4-5am or later and the cycles continues...

I'm really jealous at people who just lie down for three minutes and instantly sleep.
 
I would love to take up new hobbies, but it seems like everything I want to get into requires money. And then I think about how I have no money and... :/
 
Loneliness, anxiety, and guilt every night (past midnight) for the past two weeks. I don't know how to deal with this shit. I would just go to sleep if those feelings didn't keep me up.

My doc wants to give me trazodone, but I already take Vyvanse and propranolol and I don't want to fuck with too many meds, especially antidepressants given I'm not even depressed.
 
My brothers and my cousins have jobs, they know about CPU, economies, etc. Sigh, I feel like crap because I feel uncomfortable around them when I'm the only one who stays home all day doing nothing but going on my laptop daily. I don't like myself, I never had and never will. I don't like myself so much that I can't even put into words. I feel isolated and for some reason wanted to stay that way because I have nothing in common with anyone. I'm always angry and feel like crap everyday. It's as if it's endless cycle. My life sucks from teen years to now.
 
Loneliness, anxiety, and guilt every night (past midnight) for the past two weeks. I don't know how to deal with this shit. I would just go to sleep if those feelings didn't keep me up.
I've started waking up in middle of night feeling like this, thinking of trying some natural sleeping remedies first.
 
Loneliness, anxiety, and guilt every night (past midnight) for the past two weeks. I don't know how to deal with this shit. I would just go to sleep if those feelings didn't keep me up.

My doc wants to give me trazodone, but I already take Vyvanse and propranolol and I don't want to fuck with too many meds, especially antidepressants given I'm not even depressed.

I've started waking up in middle of night feeling like this, thinking of trying some natural sleeping remedies first.

Trazodone
is an antidepressant, but you take a lower dose when you're using it primarily as a hypnotic (despite the cool name, a hypnotic is just something that makes you sleepy). It's pretty widely used and I didn't really have any problems with it, side effect-wise (the sedation IS the main side effect of the antidepressant).

I still swear by melatonin, if you want something OTC (other than benadryl, Zzzquil, Tylenol PM - almost all of these things are diphenhydramine, aka benadryl. Tylenol PM or Advil PM just add the pain reliever and some extra mark-up). I don't do well with most sleep meds - they either don't work (benadryl) or I go fucking nuts (I STILL get shit from you guys for what happened when I tried to take ambien...), but melatonin pretty reliably knocks me out in about 30 minutes. It does tend to make my dreams more vivid, which is interesting, but not unpleasant.

I saw a sleep specialist a while back, because I generally sleep very poorly, I get day-night reversal, or I simply have delayed sleep phase (so I want to sleep, say 4AM-noon). The sleep specialist also had me take melatonin, but a smaller dose. At bed time, the pills are usually 3mg. To move up your sleep phase, he had me take .5mg around dinner time, which I progressively moved back to about 4PM. This didn't make me immediately sleepy, but did get me more into sleep mode by 11PM or so. The effect is more subtle (with 3mg of melatonin, if I haven't used it in a while, I'll start nodding off while reading in bed. 30 minutes after taking it), but it did seem to help. It can be a little harder to find 1mg pills to split - I found them in a health food store, whereas my grocery stores all carry 3mg pills. I stopped doing it because...I'm an idiot? I'm not sure why I'm so bad at doing these little things that I know are good for me.

I also had a light box to use in the morning. These can be a little pricey (~$100), but many people swear by them. You set it up in your peripheral vision and read the morning paper or whatever for 20-30 minutes. Again, the effect may be less dramatic and instantaneous than you'd like, but it really can give you more energy, boost your mood, combat SAD, and entrain your circadian rhythms. I have an older model of this Philips light box and I really like it. It has timers, an alarm clock (so you can wake up and do your light therapy in bed), it can gradually turn on to wake you up, it holds a battery charge forever, etc. It is $130, but there are cheaper options, but it can save you a lot of money in coffees, sleeping meds, and antidepressants.

Here's my secret weapon, too: MAGICAL SLEEPYTIMES GLASSES. I was skeptical, but my psychiatrist turned me on to them. I thought they sounded like straight BS, but I eventually got desperate enough to buy a pair. So they are these incredibly dorky orange-tinted sunglasses that you wear when you get into bed, 30-60 minutes before you want to fall asleep). You can then read by your bedside lamp, use your iPad, whatever. They filter out the same wavelengths of blue light that the lightboxes project. This all ties in to your brain's melatonin circuitry (blue light, in your peripheral vision, suppresses production and release of melatonin, a hormone that controls your body clock and makes you sleepy).

I need the ones that fit over glasses, and I'll just say that they are highly effective contraceptives, too, because no one will ever have sex with you while you're wearing these things. So anyway, I got them, and my wife would laugh at me uncontrollably (instead of smoldering with barely contained lust for all dis, which is more what I'm used to, obviously), but I would just PASS THE HECK OUT. So she finally said, "give me those stupid things!" And I'm like, okay, they really are NOT a turn on, and we're both laughing, and before too long, she is out like a light! It really is like magic. I need a new pair, because we loaned them to a friend, who also figured it was bullshit. Yeah, so, not getting them back. Oh, and they also help reduce your risk of breast cancer, because there is some circadian link there.

YMMV with all this stuff, of course, but aside from melatonin, these are all drug free. I'll also toss in Sleepytime tea (Sleepytime Extra has melatonin, actually), avoiding all computer screens around bedtime, keeping your bedroom chilly (the lower temperature promotes sleep), exercise during the day, avoiding long naps during the day, and not letting my cats sleep on your bed because they WILL put their paws in your mouth when you nod off.
 
Maybe you guys need new hobbies, maybe video games aren't your passion anymore. I'm defintely a hypocrite with this post.

I really want to go to this MMA gym for example but my schedule conflicts with their class times :(
No, you're not a hypocrite but games are definitely a passion of mine. In fact, it's one of the few passions I actually have. But, I still like getting out with friends whenever the opportunity arises. I hate being cooped up in a house all day.


Trazodone
is an antidepressant, but you take a lower dose when you're using it primarily as a hypnotic (despite the cool name, a hypnotic is just something that makes you sleepy). It's pretty widely used and I didn't really have any problems with it, side effect-wise (the sedation IS the main side effect of the antidepressant).

I still swear by melatonin, if you want something OTC (other than benadryl, Zzzquil, Tylenol PM - almost all of these things are diphenhydramine, aka benadryl. Tylenol PM or Advil PM just add the pain reliever and some extra mark-up). I don't do well with most sleep meds - they either don't work (benadryl) or I go fucking nuts (I STILL get shit from you guys for what happened when I tried to take ambien...), but melatonin pretty reliably knocks me out in about 30 minutes. It does tend to make my dreams more vivid, which is interesting, but not unpleasant.

I saw a sleep specialist a while back, because I generally sleep very poorly, I get day-night reversal, or I simply have delayed sleep phase (so I want to sleep, say 4AM-noon). The sleep specialist also had me take melatonin, but a smaller dose. At bed time, the pills are usually 3mg. To move up your sleep phase, he had me take .5mg around dinner time, which I progressively moved back to about 4PM. This didn't make me immediately sleepy, but did get me more into sleep mode by 11PM or so. The effect is more subtle (with 3mg of melatonin, if I haven't used it in a while, I'll start nodding off while reading in bed. 30 minutes after taking it), but it did seem to help. It can be a little harder to find 1mg pills to split - I found them in a health food store, whereas my grocery stores all carry 3mg pills. I stopped doing it because...I'm an idiot? I'm not sure why I'm so bad at doing these little things that I know are good for me.

I also had a light box to use in the morning. These can be a little pricey (~$100), but many people swear by them. You set it up in your peripheral vision and read the morning paper or whatever for 20-30 minutes. Again, the effect may be less dramatic and instantaneous than you'd like, but it really can give you more energy, boost your mood, combat SAD, and entrain your circadian rhythms. I have an older model of this Philips light box and I really like it. It has timers, an alarm clock (so you can wake up and do your light therapy in bed), it can gradually turn on to wake you up, it holds a battery charge forever, etc. It is $130, but there are cheaper options, but it can save you a lot of money in coffees, sleeping meds, and antidepressants.

Here's my secret weapon, too: MAGICAL SLEEPYTIMES GLASSES. I was skeptical, but my psychiatrist turned me on to them. I thought they sounded like straight BS, but I eventually got desperate enough to buy a pair. So they are these incredibly dorky orange-tinted sunglasses that you wear when you get into bed, 30-60 minutes before you want to fall asleep). You can then read by your bedside lamp, use your iPad, whatever. They filter out the same wavelengths of blue light that the lightboxes project. This all ties in to your brain's melatonin circuitry (blue light, in your peripheral vision, suppresses production and release of melatonin, a hormone that controls your body clock and makes you sleepy).

I need the ones that fit over glasses, and I'll just say that they are highly effective contraceptives, too, because no one will ever have sex with you while you're wearing these things. So anyway, I got them, and my wife would laugh at me uncontrollably (instead of smoldering with barely contained lust for all dis, which is more what I'm used to, obviously), but I would just PASS THE HECK OUT. So she finally said, "give me those stupid things!" And I'm like, okay, they really are NOT a turn on, and we're both laughing, and before too long, she is out like a light! It really is like magic. I need a new pair, because we loaned them to a friend, who also figured it was bullshit. Yeah, so, not getting them back. Oh, and they also help reduce your risk of breast cancer, because there is some circadian link there.

YMMV with all this stuff, of course, but aside from melatonin, these are all drug free. I'll also toss in Sleepytime tea (Sleepytime Extra has melatonin, actually), avoiding all computer screens around bedtime, keeping your bedroom chilly (the lower temperature promotes sleep), exercise during the day, avoiding long naps during the day, and not letting my cats sleep on your bed because they WILL put their paws in your mouth when you nod off.
I'm going through a very serious bout of insomnia - perhaps one of the worst I've had in my life. I've heard mixed things about melatonin. I've usually used Benadryl or NyQuil to help me sleep. I also used to have a Trazodone prescription which didn't really help. Nothing has worked well past a day or two. The best sleep aid I've taken was Ambien, which I've had taken about maybe two or three times. The last time I remember sleeping a full 8 hours on it, something which I never do. I was thinking of trying melatonin, although, whenever I can.
 
No, you're not a hypocrite but games are definitely a passion of mine. In fact, it's one of the few passions I actually have. But, I still like getting out with friends whenever the opportunity arises. I hate being cooped up in a house all day.


I'm going through a very serious bout of insomnia - perhaps one of the worst I've had in my life. I've heard mixed things about melatonin. I've usually used Benadryl or NyQuil to help me sleep. I also used to have a Trazodone prescription which didn't really help. Nothing has worked well past a day or two. The best sleep aid I've taken was Ambien, which I've had taken about maybe two or three times. The last time I remember sleeping a full 8 hours on it, something which I never do. I was thinking of trying melatonin, although, whenever I can.

I'd really suggest giving melatonin a try. It's cheap, easy to find, and many people have excellent results. It's the best thing I've found. Take it when you get into bed, turn off all screens, get comfy, maybe read a bit - give it the best chance to work for you. If it doesn't work, you're out a few bucks. If it works anything for you like it did for me (it worked best when I first took it, and now when I don't take it for a few months beforehand), you can get some unreal sleep. And let me know how it works for you! :)
 
My neurologist prescribed Amitriptyline HCL for my chronic migraines, it's an antidepressant, but at low doses it makes for a great sleep aid. Trazodone is also excellent. So for people struggling with sleep, I recommend either of those medications.
 
My neurologist prescribed Amitriptyline HCL for my chronic migraines, it's an antidepressant, but at low doses it makes for a great sleep aid. Trazodone is also excellent. So for people struggling with sleep, I recommend either of those medications.
Trazodone worked maybe the first couple of times. I had 100mg prescription last time and I would even take two without much help.

Really wish I could get an Ambien prescription. That seemed to have worked best for me although going to take Bagels advice and when I have money again (probably awhile from now seeing my situation) I'll pick a bottle of melatonin.
 
I don't have severe depression but it's coming to the end of my course and I have still a lot of stuff to do as well as getting a job. I was stressed before but I managed to pass so far. I've got two exams next week which I might fail one, currently I've just been doing work like mad but feeling really tired and haven't even started revision.

I'm kinda scared that this will be a issue, as it might result in me not graduating and I still have other things to prepare.
 
So, for the last week I'm trying to figure out if I'm actually ill or just a stupid lazy-ass bitch.

I have this really important test in a little bit over a month and I should be studying for it every day, but I just don't, which is possibly the stupidest thing I could do, since I'm pretty sure that if I flunk this my chances of ever getting a job and finally breaking out of this damn routine will vanish once and for all.
But even though I know that, I just don't change it. Ever night I promise myself, that tomorrow I'll study but instead end up spending the day daydreaming, sleeping or worst drunk. I'm actually at the point where I make up stuff to tell my husband when he comes home from work.
Now of course the logical thing should be to talk with him about that. But the thing is, he sort of knows that I'm not the most motivated person on this planet, and he has told me countless times how I'm just lazy. Chances are if I tell him about my feelings that he'll just think that it is just another excuse so I don't have to do stuff and what worries me the most if that he might be right. Maybe I'm just lazy with no ambitions whatsoever.
But why do I care then?
 
So, for the last week I'm trying to figure out if I'm actually ill or just a stupid lazy-ass bitch.

I have this really important test in a little bit over a month and I should be studying for it every day, but I just don't, which is possibly the stupidest thing I could do, since I'm pretty sure that if I flunk this my chances of ever getting a job and finally breaking out of this damn routine will vanish once and for all.
But even though I know that, I just don't change it. Ever night I promise myself, that tomorrow I'll study but instead end up spending the day daydreaming, sleeping or worst drunk. I'm actually at the point where I make up stuff to tell my husband when he comes home from work.
Now of course the logical thing should be to talk with him about that. But the thing is, he sort of knows that I'm not the most motivated person on this planet, and he has told me countless times how I'm just lazy. Chances are if I tell him about my feelings that he'll just think that it is just another excuse so I don't have to do stuff and what worries me the most if that he might be right. Maybe I'm just lazy with no ambitions whatsoever.
But why do I care then?

Man. This point hit me. Alter some of the details and íts like you are describing me. Unfortunately I have no advice for you.
 
I'd really suggest giving melatonin a try. It's cheap, easy to find, and many people have excellent results. It's the best thing I've found. Take it when you get into bed, turn off all screens, get comfy, maybe read a bit - give it the best chance to work for you. If it doesn't work, you're out a few bucks. If it works anything for you like it did for me (it worked best when I first took it, and now when I don't take it for a few months beforehand), you can get some unreal sleep. And let me know how it works for you! :)

I second melatonin, when used and taken properly. It always deals with any insomnia I get in a night or two. I've really been meaning to get a travel light box too, just keep putting it off now that it's actually summer.
 
My experience with melatonin: Horrible.
Yes, it makes me sleepy, it is excellent for falling asleep. But it leaves me sleeping very lightly, i wake up on every small sound, and dawn especially (which is doubly annoying since dawn comes early in Finland during summers).
And something in it makes me dream lucid/vivid dreams a lot (possibly because i sleep lightly). The end result is restless sleep.
Still use it at times to adjust my sleep cycle... probably should take one now actually..

EDIT just personal experience, the thing affects different people differently. So give it a try.
 
Does anyone have that feeling where you just don't know what you're doing? I always get a big question mark in my head where I just don't know wtf I'm doing. I'm the biggest dumbass in the world. No wonder in my previous job, I ask so many similar questions because I can't memorize the answers. Right now, I'm calling wells fargo, and I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm seriously the biggest dumbass in the world. That's one of the reasons I don't like about me. I'm just a clueless person.
 
Funny. As i noted earlier, a lot of my... problems seem to have vanished.
What's funny is that with this different mentality i now have, reading this thread... well, i can't help it but notice how much whining there is (yeah, i'm one of those whiners as well). And it annoys me, makes me wonder "why does he/she do this, it is so fucking obvious!". Then i'm immediately a bit abashed, knowing how things work when one is depressed.

It is just that... even slight change in one's emotional state changes perception of some things tremendously.
It is really interesting to observe this in myself.

I don't know what has prompted this change. Perhaps it was that i started planning to write a story. Or perhaps it is the fact it is summer here now, warm and sunny.
I doubt this is permanent though, i reckon my mood will swing to the other direction at some point... but i'll deal with it when it comes, if it comes.

Does anyone have that feeling where you just don't know what you're doing? I always get a big question mark in my head where I just don't know wtf I'm doing. I'm the biggest dumbass in the world. No wonder in my previous job, I ask so many similar questions because I can't memorize the answers. Right now, I'm calling wells fargo, and I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm seriously the biggest dumbass in the world. That's one of the reasons I don't like about me. I'm just a clueless person.
Depression affects memory, both short-term and long-term (AFAIK, personal experience). Your problem is probably related to that.
Not sure if telling this helps in anyway... Guess i mean "I kinda know what you mean"?
 
Have any of you tried Ambien? I've heard it doing crazy things to people, even on these forums, but the couple times I've taken it felt very relaxing and helped me sleep better than almost anything else I've tried. Before putting me to sleep too, it has a sort of anti-anxiety effect. I still remember the last time I took it, I slept 8 straight hours which is something I never do.

Anyways, right now I'm kinda hoping for my friend to call. We were supposed to hang out around the 1st but I haven't heard from him and I don't want to seem desperate and text him. I'm in serious need of getting out and I feel really drained and alone. Not much I can do myself since I'm broke and it's almost 100 degrees outside.
 
Count me in the No to Melatonin camp
Just leaves me a zombie the next day
As do most sleeping aids :(
except time. Time cures all.

Huh? Leaves you zombie?
Don't see how it can do that, unless it is not pure melatonin but has something else mixed-in.
Unless you mean you don't sleep well after taking one?
 
Meaning that it leaves me drowsy and slow of thought the next day. Yes, it was pure melatonin.

Have any of you tried Ambien? I've heard it doing crazy things to people, even on these forums, but the couple times I've taken it felt very relaxing and helped me sleep better than almost anything else I've tried. Before putting me to sleep too, it has a sort of anti-anxiety effect. I still remember the last time I took it, I slept 8 straight hours which is something I never do.

Anyways, right now I'm kinda hoping for my friend to call. We were supposed to hang out around the 1st but I haven't heard from him and I don't want to seem desperate and text him. I'm in serious need of getting out and I feel really drained and alone. Not much I can do myself since I'm broke and it's almost 100 degrees outside.

I have. Use extreme caution.
Take it and hit the bed.
Like do all your routine before taking it.
Don't drink caffeine, do not exercise just before or consume alcohol.
Avoid taking it when you have too many racing thoughts in your head.
Use only the directed amount, don't take anymore than that to avoid those sleepwalking issues.
Most people that have those crazy stories ignore the cautions above.

It has a short half-life, so it lessens the next-day drowsy effect.
 
Man. This point hit me. Alter some of the details and íts like you are describing me. Unfortunately I have no advice for you.

I think the worst thing is that I can't decide which of the two possibilities scares me most. I'm really starting to hate myself.
 
Meaning that it leaves me drowsy and slow of thought the next day. Yes, it was pure melatonin.

Huh. Is this common side-effect? The dreaming thing i experience is documented AFAIK...
Looks like i got some reading.
And the damn melatonin is already affecting me... sigh... Yes, i know bookmarks exist but it is a matter of interest, which doesn't necessarily stay for tomorrow.
 
Funny. As i noted earlier, a lot of my... problems seem to have vanished.
What's funny is that with this different mentality i now have, reading this thread... well, i can't help it but notice how much whining there is (yeah, i'm one of those whiners as well). And it annoys me, makes me wonder "why does he/she do this, it is so fucking obvious!". Then i'm immediately a bit abashed, knowing how things work when one is depressed.

It is just that... even slight change in one's emotional state changes perception of some things tremendously.
It is really interesting to observe this in myself.

I don't know what has prompted this change. Perhaps it was that i started planning to write a story. Or perhaps it is the fact it is summer here now, warm and sunny.
I doubt this is permanent though, i reckon my mood will swing to the other direction at some point... but i'll deal with it when it comes, if it comes.


Depression affects memory, both short-term and long-term (AFAIK, personal experience). Your problem is probably related to that.
Not sure if telling this helps in anyway... Guess i mean "I kinda know what you mean"?

No I agree with you. I was also quite depressed during high school and early university but the last year and half I am a lot more optimistic and less prone to self-loathing. And the thing is, my circumstances haven't really changed that much! But I think my perspective and perception has changed.

I used to think I would never have the balls to do anything in life, and never gain the life experiences that most people had. I made an impulse decision to do a study abroad by myself for four months and the experience has made me more of a go getter in life. Obviously, it is not a reasonable solution to just go travel to solve your depression, but it wasn't really the literal act that changed my perception, but more of the fact that I made an independent decision with challenges that I had to overcome. It taught me that we do have a degree of agency in our life. So I think if you have something you always wanted to try in life, do it. But don't be to preoccupied on end goals, like "ugh I want be good at drawing but I suck". You don't have to be good or a success at something to enjoy it. There is a lot of societal pressure for success and status but its all bullshit anyway. Most people at the top still deal feelings of inferiority and ennui.

I am still introverted, shy, and prone to social anxiety but I am no longer depressed. When you are depressed, minor anxieties are exacerbated in your mind to feel like a long list of evidence of why you are a failure in life. But really, if you think about it they are often petty and minute anyway.
 
Gotta clarify that by "problems" i mean mental issues.
IRL problems are still here, and not going away. Should do something about them... unfortunately there's always something looming above everything, something i can't do anything about.
See them a bit differently.

I think i'd love to move to another country... but that's not possible at the moment. I'm not really happy here, i need a change.
I mean, Helsinki (and Finland) is pretty good place to live but there are too many negative memories here. And other places in Finland... well, i don't think they're for me. Perhaps they could be, i don't know.
Anyway, this kind of thoughts are something i can't do now. Perhaps in a few years.
 
Count me in the No to Melatonin camp
Just leaves me a zombie the next day
As do most sleeping aids :(
except time. Time cures all.

It's certainly YMMV, as with all things. It really helps me fall asleep, get more restful sleep, and I get zero hangover the next day. I think, considering how cheap it is, it's worth a shot.


Have any of you tried Ambien? I've heard it doing crazy things to people, even on these forums, but the couple times I've taken it felt very relaxing and helped me sleep better than almost anything else I've tried. Before putting me to sleep too, it has a sort of anti-anxiety effect. I still remember the last time I took it, I slept 8 straight hours which is something I never do.

Yeah, so I'm someone who made some ambien-induced crazy person posts here, in the old thread. The problem was, I felt fine, and I felt more rested when I woke up. It was only when my wife woke up one night and saw how nuts I was that I learned how loco I was. Like, I saw the nutty posts, but I just told myself not to stay at my PC after I took it. But I was getting back up at night and being nuts. Ambien COMPLETELY wipes my memory, so I did not realize how dangerous and weird it was for me. Not everyone has that reaction, but stories about people driving out of the state in the middle of the night and stuff are very real. It's thought that the actual benefit of ambien, aside from helping people fall asleep, is actually the memory wiping part. So people still toss and turn and wake up repeatedly in the middle of the night, they just don't remember it, so it feels better.

I'm super scared of ambien now because of the complete memory wipe thing. If I lived alone, lord knows what I could have gotten up to. (my wife took a video of me being crazy one night, and it is fucking scary. I had cut up these lidocaine patches and stuck them ON MY FACE for reasons that I have not quite reconstructed. It was some kind of experiment to see what Bell's Palsy is like? There are further things to say about where lidocaine patches may or may not have been applied, but let's just never speak of this again, okay?)
 
Yeah, so I'm someone who made some ambien-induced crazy person posts here, in the old thread. The problem was, I felt fine, and I felt more rested when I woke up. It was only when my wife woke up one night and saw how nuts I was that I learned how loco I was. Like, I saw the nutty posts, but I just told myself not to stay at my PC after I took it. But I was getting back up at night and being nuts. Ambien COMPLETELY wipes my memory, so I did not realize how dangerous and weird it was for me. Not everyone has that reaction, but stories about people driving out of the state in the middle of the night and stuff are very real. It's thought that the actual benefit of ambien, aside from helping people fall asleep, is actually the memory wiping part. So people still toss and turn and wake up repeatedly in the middle of the night, they just don't remember it, so it feels better.

I'm super scared of ambien now because of the complete memory wipe thing. If I lived alone, lord knows what I could have gotten up to. (my wife took a video of me being crazy one night, and it is fucking scary. I had cut up these lidocaine patches and stuck them ON MY FACE for reasons that I have not quite reconstructed. It was some kind of experiment to see what Bell's Palsy is like? There are further things to say about where lidocaine patches may or may not have been applied, but let's just never speak of this again, okay?)
Okay, I'm legitimately concerned now. Damn, the few times I took it, they worked very well for me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambien

Some users have reported unexplained sleepwalking[15][original research?] while using zolpidem, as well as sleep driving, binge eating while asleep, and performing other daily tasks while sleeping. Research by Australia's National Prescribing Service found these events occur mostly after the first dose taken, or within a few days of starting therapy.[16] Rare reports of sexual parasomnia episodes related to zolpidem intake have also been reported.[17] Sleepwalkers can sometimes perform these tasks as normally as they might if they were awake. They can sometimes carry on complex conversations and respond appropriately to questions or statements, so much so that observers may believe them to be awake. This is in contrast to "typical" sleep talking, which can usually be identified easily and is characterised by incoherent speech that often has no relevance to the situation or that is so disorganised as to be completely unintelligible.

Those under the influence of this medication may seem fully aware of their environments, though they are still asleep. This can bring about concerns for the safety of the sleepwalkers and others. These side effects may be related to the mechanism that also causes zolpidem to produce its hypnotic properties.[18] It is unclear whether the drug is responsible for the behavior, but a class-action lawsuit was filed against Sanofi-Aventis in March 2006 on behalf of those who reported symptoms.[19] Conversely, it is possible some users believed they were asleep during these events because they do not remember the events, due to the short-term memory loss and anterograde amnesia side effects.
 
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I take Ambien every night and have never suffered any averse side effects. It actually seems to help me a lot with my anxiety problem. I used to be a fucking mess because I'd stay up every night worrying about pointless shit and now my life is infinitely better. Thank you, Ambien!
 
Treatments for depression that don't involve antidepressant drugs but rather focus on different forms of talking therapy (referred to as psychotherapeutic interventions) are all beneficial, with no one form of therapy being better than the others, according to a study by international researchers published in this week's PLOS Medicine.

These findings are important as they suggest that patients with depression should discuss different forms of non-drug therapy with their doctors and explore which type of psychotherapy best suits them.

The researchers, led by Jürgen Barth from the University of Bern in Switzerland, reached these conclusions by reviewing 198 published studies involving over 15,000 patients receiving one of seven types of psychotherapeutic intervention: Interpersonal psychotherapy, behavioural activation, cognitive behavioural therapy, problem solving therapy, psychodynamic therapy, social skills training and supportive counselling.* The authors compared each of the therapies with each other and with a control—patients on a waiting list or continuing usual case—and combined the results.

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2013-05/plos-pbf052313.php
 
Whats the point of even waking up anymore. most people are lucky and some are not and i am the one of the ones that is not. wasted my life away. if i die then least i dont have to think about anything anymore.
 
Depression affects memory, both short-term and long-term (AFAIK, personal experience). Your problem is probably related to that.
Not sure if telling this helps in anyway... Guess i mean "I kinda know what you mean"?

It sucks to be me. Seriously it does. I don't know what to do about it. My brothers hate when I'm this way. I mean, what can I say? My life sucks. All I do at home is going on my laptop and do things I shouldn't be doing in the first place. My mom doesn't want me to stay home all day. I wish my life was better. I just made it worse through out my days. I do nothing productive that would benefit my life style. I'm just a failure, and there is nothing out there that will motivate me of making my life better. I can't think for myself, I can't speak for myself, I can't get into people's conversation, etc. I'm just living in an isolation world of mines. I really don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. :(
 
Just use caution and treat it like a serious medication not a recreational drug.
Best if you tell whoever you live with to also take precaution.
Yeah, I certainly wouldn't treat it as anything other than medication seeing as how the insomnia right now is pretty much creating health issues. As mentioned a few posts back, it might be caused by my anxiety/depression. I also physically feel uncomfortable when I try to sleep. It seems to be a combination of emotional, mental and physical issues that are causing my sleeplessness. I do manage to get *some* sleep, but it's very little - maybe 4 hours a night or less. Some nights I manage 6 hours, which I consider lucky. 8 hours would be miraculous for me at this point.

Haha, I've read that thread before. It's classic! The OP's avatar perfectly compliments it! Behuhuhu the rub hive.
 
So maybe what I had today was not a complete emotional break down, but for around 30 minutes I just sat and cried and beat myself up.
 
Just need to write this down, hopefully someone will listen, maybe even understand what I'm saying. I've been riding pretty high for a few weeks, feeling good... I even posted earlier in this thread, but the last two nights, especially last night, have been terrible.

For some reason, last night, my mind started racing, bad thoughts, thoughts about life and death, thoughts about weird things, a billion mental images at once. I couldn't sit or stand or lay, I couldn't sleep. I got so worked up I was literally in tears and then I threw up what I had ate earlier. Took a cold shower and an ativan and managed to go to sleep at about 6 in the morning.

Today has felt dull, like a hangover, and I'm anxious that it may strike again. Can anyone on GAF relate? Have any advice, and tips anything?
 
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