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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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How do you deal with the fact there are so many ignorant, selfish, greedy and/or superficial people in this world? And how do you deal with those people and them leading a much more fulfilling life than you? It's depressing me to the point I just don't want to live in this world.
Prax
Member
Could be anything, really. Your whole environment and genetic structure all unfolds around you. It's a little bit unpredictable and I guess it's unrealistic to think we have to solve/answer everything to be happy (though I know that's the compulsion to want everything that way!). It's also logical to accept that while there may be a secret explanation to everything, you may never find out what it is and that's okay too.
I think changing your thinking definitely helps you buffer against some of the worst of the symptoms. A lot of how we feel is our perception or the story we tell ourselves about our own lives.
Maybe your depression just ran its course and your mind adjusted to it enough that it's not an issue right now. While you feel well, you can plan for what therapist you'd like to see and do all the things that being depressed might prevent you from doing if it ever comes back. So while you're feeling better, build yourself up, make those buffers, build support networks, and make positive changes that will help you be more resilient if depression hits you again?
Yeah, it could just be weird context and circumstances. A lot of mental illness is irrational stuff anyway, so trying to find reason within the chaos may be difficult. I think it's just best to focus on how to cope if it does occur and maybe the mystery of how/why will reveal itself in time.
Life is kind of a mystery like that.
And oh boy, new developments~!
I like to inject joy or humour into the absurdity that sometimes is life. Even if things are going poorly, it's okay to find ways to enjoy yourself anyway. I think I will go out and try to buy a new SIM card for a new phone now. .-.
*sigh* Schoolwork is absolutely just piling up now since this week is the last week we can be evaluated on anything before exams so teachers are just rushing us like mad. Also accepted a university offer than I'm not 100% satisfied with considering my first choice rejected me, and my second choice has not even looked at requests for summer school extensions yet (so no way to know if you actually would be given a seat in the program) while TODAY was the final day to accept an offer. Life is so stressful and underwhelming. Why do I continue like this, day after day?
Collete
Member
Because there's a chance that things will go better and you will be helped by yourself some day when you have that "ah-ha!" moment. It won't be now, or tomorrow. It will be some day. You'll find your own nirvana some day.
Also did another painting but I don't think anyone will understand this....
Classy, if you're reading this, the inspiration was oreo's avatar on Steam.
For the rest of you all, it's the face of silence, but I don't think anyone will see it as such <_<
Silence
Edit: If you can figure out the deeper meaning of this picture, brownie points to you!
Apparently feeling better for a couple days was just a fluke, fucking hell. I don't understand why I'm much more depressed than I was earlier this year.
Kinda feeling like this.
Kinda feeling like this.
Today made me realize how much I want to die. I should stop going to that gay therapy group. Sucks that's the only place I can talk with other gay guys. Seems they have a far more active gay life then I will ever have. I'll probably be fifty before I even date a guy. It's better if I just really push myself to commit suicide. There really isn't anything to look forward to in life. This is my life and I should get to end it
Collete
Member
What happened?
You were doing so well before I left to the hospital, what's wrong?
Also nice avatar choice! It's cute
butzopower
proud of his butz
It's not productive to let other people's experiences bring you down, especially when their experiences play no part in your own life. Statistically speaking, there's almost guaranteed to be someone who is better at/has more of something than you, but that never makes you a bad person. It's also okay to be jealous, but taking it out on yourself for not having what someone else has doesn't get you any closer to having what they have. It sounds like therapy is giving you an idea of what you want, which is a pretty big deal, and something a lot of people can't figure out. Keep going, keep learning, all of that will help you get closer to what you want.
Anyone else suffers from selective speech disorders? Depending on the situtation, I often feel like I can't control my speech pronunciation, entonation, intensity and/or timing, I also forget common words. Other times I stutter.
The first one ocurres to me randomly when I'm talking to strangers on mild pressure situations, such as speaking with a cab driver, a waitres or a sales person. The second one appears also randomly, but strangely only when I feel confortable with the person I'm talking with. But when the presion of the situation is at it highest, such as an when I have an important position interview or I have to give a conference to an audience... I often get praised for my elocuence.. :S.
Right now I'm in a foreign country far far away from home, and regretfully I'm suffering constantly of the fist kind of speech disorder, which aggravates me greatly because I feel like I'm giving a bad impression everywhere. Having to speak in English (my fist language is Spanish) doesn't help the situation.
Does anyone else suffers from this or something similar? Any tips?
Oh, btw. Welcome back Oomi!
The first one ocurres to me randomly when I'm talking to strangers on mild pressure situations, such as speaking with a cab driver, a waitres or a sales person. The second one appears also randomly, but strangely only when I feel confortable with the person I'm talking with. But when the presion of the situation is at it highest, such as an when I have an important position interview or I have to give a conference to an audience... I often get praised for my elocuence.. :S.
Right now I'm in a foreign country far far away from home, and regretfully I'm suffering constantly of the fist kind of speech disorder, which aggravates me greatly because I feel like I'm giving a bad impression everywhere. Having to speak in English (my fist language is Spanish) doesn't help the situation.
Does anyone else suffers from this or something similar? Any tips?
Oh, btw. Welcome back Oomi!
Collete
Member
Yes I experience.
I have a hard time talking fluidly and end up stuttering at times which can get pretty embarrasing. I don't know the solution though but just saying you're not alone, I have it too.
Sometimes it's saying stuff i didn't intend as well.
And thank you! I appreciate the welcome!
I can already tell I'm going to be miserable if I continue living here. My mom and step-dad never listen to shit I say. They want to help, but when I try to give feed back on how they're not helping, they don't care. I try to talk and make my opinions known and they laugh them off. They treat me like a child.
Not that I blame them. I don't have a job and I have no idea how to find one. I can't go anywhere or do anything. I'd like to go back into counseling, but I don't have the money. Probably won't even get into grad school next year.
I just feel like shit. No matter how hard I try not to. Even now I just feel like I'm whining.
Not that I blame them. I don't have a job and I have no idea how to find one. I can't go anywhere or do anything. I'd like to go back into counseling, but I don't have the money. Probably won't even get into grad school next year.
I just feel like shit. No matter how hard I try not to. Even now I just feel like I'm whining.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Paxil shocks
Collete
Member
Sometimes, there's only so much you can do with your family. Other times it takes an event for them to open their eyes to realize how much you mean to them and realize your opinion is valuable.
And I know your experience, my parents treated me like a child and didn't take any opinion I had seriously. They wouldn't take me seriously because I wasn't married or have a job. It's sad to say that hospitalization is what made them open their eyes, but I don't think you should follow that same route. There's only so much you can try with your parents to realize that they won't budge and you have to try and move on somehow.
Is there no way you can live with a relative and have them help you get on your feet or possibly help you find a job?
As far as doing anything, it seems you have access to internet, I know for a fact there are free books on amazon for the kindle (you can download kindle software it seems for free on their website). Also drawing minimalist art and putting effort into it helps wonders for me and helps melt the stress away since I'm focusing on something else.
=\
Take it easy today.
Another piece:
Tree of Life
And one more:
First freakishly large painting I've done...Probably will shrink my paintings down...This painting is really a test run of what on average size I should use but still being marketable on a canvas.
Spirits
This one kind of has a story.
It basically represents my hope and state of mind trying to go out to seek help.
The hope is twisted on the journey upward...
And it still floats, blurry and faded on the other side of life.
That basically is the sum of my journey of being admitted to a hospital and life after (I will describe in detail what happened later today/tomorrow).
That won't happen for me. Why can't I just die today
That group is making me feel more like a loser every time I go there.
Should have jumped in mumble for a chat.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
My insomnia is getting worse to the point I really don't know what to do. I mean, if I wasn't broke I'd head out for some melatonin but with nothing here that can help, I'm fighting it every night. I managed to fall asleep around 8am or 9am and I woke up at 1pm. On that note, I should mention I actually do get in bed around 11pm so I'm not actually up using the Internet or anything. I toss and turn all night in bed trying to sleep.
Is that the weird electrical impulses you feel in your head? I heard about those. I've been prescribed various anti-depressants and have always been too scared to take them. I don't like the idea of losing libido (yeah, I know, silly reason) but most of all, I don't like the idea of having to take the medication every day while it does re-wiring of my brain and the idea that in order to stop it, you have to slowly wane yourself off it under a doctor's care. Not to mention that I've heard a lot of horror stories of people actually becoming worse when on anti-depressants.
User 100115
Banned
This is just another dip, Neo, you can get through this. Try to remember that yeah? These lows are only temporary, and while I know the highs are temporary as well, they seem to be coming more and more for you, and that's progress. Love ya man, keep it up. You are strong, you got this.
Try to ignore them hon, the past week meant something to YOU. I wish you could get out of that situation. Just realize they don't know, and might mean well, in their own way. Just nod and smile and don't internalize anything they say. Let it wash over you, and thus, away from you. (got that in my head from your last painting, btw heh)
No, you shouldn't have done that, and I'm glad you didn't.
By all means, go to the parade! It doesn't matter if you are alone; as long as you want to go, why should it matter who you are or aren't with?
You have done a lot of progress these last few weeks Neo, I know you can be strong if you really try, as you already did. Those optimistic posts of yours were amazing, and they honestly made me feel happy inside. Don't give up now, please.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
My depression and anxiety have reached so high I've decided to not work until I start Grad school in the fall. Even going to my Little Brother's (I'm in Big Brothers Big Sisters) baseball game for an hour is very uncomfortable. Luckily I have plenty of money to get by until then.
I've been making a lot of positive changes lately, but I think it has caused too much stress. I haven't been very social either since I've become sour toward my closest friend. My parents are very supportive, but even my mom told me when I gave her my decision that she doesn't want me to be too dependent on her since she won't always be around.
This is the worst I've been in almost three years.
I've been making a lot of positive changes lately, but I think it has caused too much stress. I haven't been very social either since I've become sour toward my closest friend. My parents are very supportive, but even my mom told me when I gave her my decision that she doesn't want me to be too dependent on her since she won't always be around.
This is the worst I've been in almost three years.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Given the shocks are worse with stress and insomnia, it's partly psychosomatic in my case.
My libido hasn't changed (I am single so, damn) and lots of the horror stories are people cutting their meds with no supervision and or no psychiatric followups. A General Practitioner usually has too many patients to do a thorough job like a good psychiatrist would.
I have never heard of this, what is it? I'm taking Paxil but don't notice any shocks.
Collete
Member
Trying...just discouraging knowing for a few days, that they were understanding and kind...
And I didn't think anyone looked at my paintings since I posted so frequently of them lol...
ClassyPenguin
Banned
It's a common side effect. The feeling of electric shocks though your body or limbs. Not something dangerous, but disconcerting to some.
Though mostly usually associated with SSRI withdrawal.
User 100115
Banned
I love them! I know I don't comment enough and I should comment more, but seriously, they remind me of music. Beautiful.
I did, but I wasn't feeling too good so as to post an analysis of them, or pretty much anything for that matter. They are really nice. I'll try to do it again in the future.
Things have been slow lately.What a Fiction thing to say!
Yeah I am not going alone. It's bad enough I am an old overweight ugly loser but then to look stupid being alone. Forget it. Anyways gay parades like that are for young good looking people who takes their shirt off.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
How old are you?
Rough couple of days. Made a mistake at work, which triggered everything and I couldn't control it. I was in tears and it was so bad that I had to write STOP on my wrists. It took hours to be relatively calm again. It's frustrating because I used to be able to handle this.
Nearing 40.
Common. This is your depression talking. Gay parades are for all gays who want to celebrate equality. They want as many people as possible there.
MisterLuffy
Member
Sigh, I'm bad at socializing with my brothers and my cousins. I'm not at their level in terms of conversation because they're smarter than I am. When it comes to an argument, no matter what kind of arguments, I will always lose because I don't know how to win one. tbh, that's my problem when it comes to talking to people you don't know and making phone calls to talk to people. I don't know where to begin because I feel awkward when I can't converse with anyone about anything. I feel like an idiot when I say something since it may not make sense or I say something mistakenly. Sometimes I need to be aggressive when I socialize, but not too aggressive. I'm an adult with a childlike brain. It sucks.
AFollowerNotALeader
Member
Weirdly, I'm doing OK at the moment.
Of course my brain is desperately trying to find something to worry about in some last ditch attempt to ruin everything.
Of course my brain is desperately trying to find something to worry about in some last ditch attempt to ruin everything.
If people are mistaking your responses maybe your intentions aren't as clear as you think they are.
If you are experiencing sleep problems I think the best way to start dealing with it is to focus on your waking time rather than on what time you fall asleep. Pick a time to wake up, sunrise is good or 7-8am is typical and stick to it every single day without fail. Set your alarm and start your day the same time everyday. Then stay awake until the relevant time, no naps, no sleeping early. Try to get some sleep if you can that's up to you but make sure you are in bed at least a couple of hours before your designated waking time. Then when your alarm goes you can get out of bed.
So no waking up early, no waking up late. Same time everyday, this will be your reference point for your body. It should hopefully naturally adjust to falling asleep at the right time too. No going to bed early either. No naps. Only one designated sleeping period.
scar tissue
Banned
Just called a neurologist I had already visited one or two years ago to schedule an appointment, only to be told that I was not in the system and had never been there.
Glitch in the computer system, a case of mistaken identity (two neurologists with the same name) or am I in the twilight zone, GAF?
Currently going through my medical records to figure this one out. This is seriously fucking with my head.
Glitch in the computer system, a case of mistaken identity (two neurologists with the same name) or am I in the twilight zone, GAF?
Currently going through my medical records to figure this one out. This is seriously fucking with my head.
many places
Member
You just described what my brain does to me whenever I think I'm feeling okay. I think I've been worrying for so long about irrational stuff that whenever I somehow feel better on certain days, it just doesn't feel right. I guess I am used to the worrying that I hate so much. It's bullshit.
Collete
Member
Ah sorry guys, didn't mean to pressure you to say anything about my art.
But I guess the reason I complained is because artists feed off of their customer's reactions. Without anyone looking at them, the passion dies.
Don't push yourself rionaa, please take your time getting well.
Random note:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQsIC77jNew
That has been tending to relax me lately and something I listen to while I recover.
User 100115
Banned
Not pressured, don't worry. I really do need to make more posts here. I know I talk to you guys a lot in chat and pm and the like, but still.
Collete
Member
Love your pics/art, Oomikami. Same with Prax. Just amazing.
Those are some smooth sounds too. Feelin' nicely sleepy now. Gotta play Xenoblade i think, lotta people recommending it.
Thanks, I really appreciate the compliments
And yes they are, they really make me sleepy as well. The smooth flute sounds is extremely relaxing with the accordion. You wouldn't think it would work as a combination but it does.
Xenoblade is good but it's just so damn long...like 75+ hours long depending on you doing side quests or not
you're supposed to....
Yeah sometimes it takes a bit getting used to come back right?
Had the same problem when I "quit" DGAF. Took me a bit to come back to posting.
But it's up to you in the end for whatever reason.
Also did this painting:
Heaven and Earth
This is actually an illusion painting I did accidentally.
...So, which is it?
Also one can see it as a cave or you're on top of a hill looking down on a lake below.
Holy crap, I'm using stuff other than blue! DUN DUN DUUUUUUN
butzopower
proud of his butz
Therapy is a bit tough, which I expected. I've gone 4 times now, and I don't feel like it's changed me, but I like having a place to go to work some stuff out. He asks me a lot of questions that cause me to lock up mentally, I can feel my ego and person rejecting admittance of how I might actually feel. It's nice to be able to surface my barriers in a controlled environment, though I'm usually in a haze for a few hours afterwards.
Collete
Member
Well four times isn't enough to produce any results, you're only starting out on a long journey. Frodo and Sam didn't reach Mordor after a few miles now did they? It takes time and a bit more effort to produce results. Try not to be discouraged, you'll get there.
Questions are normal however when getting to know a new patient, they need to know more about you and how you normally react. And sometimes the questions help you come to conclusions about yourself and your surroundings. I do get how you can lock up when being asked questions, it's a bit scary but just remember, a good therapist will not judge you (if they do, they're not the right people to go to for therapy) and you get what you sow, meaning, the more you open up down the line, the more you can get out of therapy.
I also understand the haze, I usually end up crying after each session because it overwhelmed me in emotion. Try to do something relaxing after each session to help reintegrate yourself to life, get a cup of coffee at starbucks or something.
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