Arizona's mental health system is such a cluster fuck due to budget cuts. I couldn't even get admitted last time, was stuck in observation for a day or so. Too many bodies and not enough beds. Sucked ass, couldn't sleep well there at all.
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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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Arizona's mental health system is such a cluster fuck due to budget cuts. I couldn't even get admitted last time, was stuck in observation for a day or so. Too many bodies and not enough beds. Sucked ass, couldn't sleep well there at all.
Seattle's isn't in much better shape. I might have been sent to the wrong hospital for it but man, it was scuzzy. People in a rush to do other things. I was just another statistic to them. Of course, I got the standard lectures. Embrace life! Take pills!
(There was one psychiatrist who was such a dick that I wanted him to embrace my fist. Different issue, though.)
The bird knows you're there. Be careful when you go outside.
Totally bombed my first exam today. Calculus. Left 5/8 pages blank because I had no idea what was going on. This is the first time I've failed a class. (No way I passed it now.) I'm scared that my university acceptance will be revoked and I'll be stuck going nowhere next year, but I can't find any motivation to study or anything. I give up.
Well fuck me. Seattle was on top of my list as far as places I'd like to move to. Still, I can't see it being worse than here. I'm sick of this fucking place. The summer's are simply unbearable, but I guess it's pretty irrelevant for me, I don't really have much incentive to go out. I'm broke to boot.
Don't get me wrong, Seattle's a great city. Especially right now with the weather sunny and in the 70s. Our summers are wonderful. The rest of the time, the weather sucks but you get used to it.
Traffic's also terrible but that's hardly exclusive to Seattle.I just had a bad hospital experience and that could probably happen to anyone in any city.
Didn't even think of that! Great idea! Now I might have to dress up as something from TF2 for Halloween too!
Collete
Member
Today is just horrible depression wise...
Depression is making me feel like I'm drowning and I have no one to talk to...Or even give a shit if I'm gone. It's the constant numbing feeling and realize I'm marked with this illness for the rest of my life...I never asked to have this illness...I never wanted to be a mooch off my parents and be successful in my life...I just wanted to be normal....I never wanted to be taken advantage of...*cries* I never asked for any of this...I just want this to end...
I come to the full realization I no longer take my phone with me because I know no one needs or wants to talk to me any longer.
But at the end every night when I go back to my bedroom, I'm anxious I missed a text, but alas, it doesn't warn me I have a text or a call (no debt agency, you don't count...)...Just displays the time...
I don't know why I keep being like this but it does hurt me at the end.
Depression is making me feel like I'm drowning and I have no one to talk to...Or even give a shit if I'm gone. It's the constant numbing feeling and realize I'm marked with this illness for the rest of my life...I never asked to have this illness...I never wanted to be a mooch off my parents and be successful in my life...I just wanted to be normal....I never wanted to be taken advantage of...*cries* I never asked for any of this...I just want this to end...
I come to the full realization I no longer take my phone with me because I know no one needs or wants to talk to me any longer.
But at the end every night when I go back to my bedroom, I'm anxious I missed a text, but alas, it doesn't warn me I have a text or a call (no debt agency, you don't count...)...Just displays the time...
I don't know why I keep being like this but it does hurt me at the end.
Yeah, I do the same thing. It's terrible. The feeling that no one wants to talk to you because you'll just bring them down. The feeling that everyone is happy and going about their lives, except you.
I remember the day I couldn't justify paying for my cell-phone anymore, sad day indeed. My mom is paying for it now, which i don't like. She insisted though, if only for emergencies, still feel like a leech.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Kinda getting guilt for saying I'm going to cancel my FB account this week. It's like I might lose RL friends over this which is fucking stupid. The irony is nobody even gives a shit about me. Nobody posts on my FB. Rarely receive replies. I don't even hardly get texts or calls. Why the hell should they care if I keep my FB up?
Anyone who gets pissed off over someone quitting Facebook doesn't sound like the sort anyone would want as a friend in the first place. (IMO, but i'm not really the right person to talk about relationships of any sort, being something of a loner myself (by choice)).
If someone complains, say that you've got more important stuff than a site you don't really use. They'll either understand or... well, they're idiots, or at very least selfish (in wrong way, certain amount of selfishness is all right i think, otherwise life would be a bit bland, IMO).
This has been a very bad day. Bills are piling up (seriously, why did my car insurance company decide this month was the month to send a $100 bill? Sadistic pleasure?) and I bickered (sorta) on the phone with my doctor's receptionist. I feel like a barrier's being placed between me and the doc, perhaps because he knows that he's running out of ways to help me.
I miss my career so much. I hate being disabled, poor and clinically depressed. I might have to commit myself again. At least then, I'll have access to morphine.
In compensation for this dire post, I'll now look at YouTube videos of kittens fighting each other to the strains of Guile's Theme. Because, as we all know, it goes with everything.
I miss my career so much. I hate being disabled, poor and clinically depressed. I might have to commit myself again. At least then, I'll have access to morphine.
In compensation for this dire post, I'll now look at YouTube videos of kittens fighting each other to the strains of Guile's Theme. Because, as we all know, it goes with everything.
It would have been nice to have died on my way home from work. Why even live at all? This life is for the winners so why even try to live when I'm a loser. I'm canceling all my therapy appointments. I need to get off the deep end and die soon. I'm sick of struggling and trying and in the end being a loser. Fuck life I don't want it anymore. People who committed suicide were the smart ones
Same with me. I'm going to close my account when I commit sucide
Who wants to live in this world?
Did I have a choice coming into this world NO
will I ever lose weight. NO
will I grow taller. NO
will I ever date. NO
will I ever be attractive NO
can I choose the way I kill myself YES
I wish I died when I was a baby. If I had AIDS I would let it just kill me. I would not even go for any treatment
Same with me. I'm going to close my account when I commit sucide
Who wants to live in this world?
Did I have a choice coming into this world NO
will I ever lose weight. NO
will I grow taller. NO
will I ever date. NO
will I ever be attractive NO
can I choose the way I kill myself YES
I wish I died when I was a baby. If I had AIDS I would let it just kill me. I would not even go for any treatment
eddfromtheriver
Banned
Dude, it can't be that bad, i know it gets thrown around a lot, but there are people who are in a worse situation than the one you're in, i know you didn't choose to come into this world, but you're here, try and make the most out of it, don't drown in an ocean of self-pity... i've been there and nothing good comes out of it, set some goals... attainable ones and work on them on a one by one basis.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
I like this. Dark and moody.
Collete
Member
This just...You just poured salt in the wound. Depression doesn't care if your problems are petty or not. They still exist. Telling someone who's depressed that there are starving kids in Africa is the least productive thing you can do. When you feel a constant pain everyday from depression, every single problem is a huge weight on your shoulders that it becomes impossible to do anything. Honestly I'm surprised jubei can get up to work everyday. Props to him. Sure my problems don't compare to kids in Africa, but what matters is I'm facing them everyday through my eyes and I fight everyday of my life not to damn OD or hang myself in the bathroom.
Please do not tell people that "there are people who are in a worse situation than the one you're in". Please try to understand their perspective and what they're experiencing on a daily basis. Depression is a real medical condition, it's not a whole self pity stage at all.
Thanks classy
Clinical depression is a disabling illness. It doesn't *matter* if there's people in a worse situation. There's always going to be people worse off than you. What matters is that it's still ungodly painful and makes it nearly impossible to function.
Birds are cool.
But i'm convinced they're aware of you and are planning something. Take a look at those pics, you can see they see you at their peripheral vision.
As i said, be careful when you go outside.
EDIT also, no idea who made this and when and where but this "Party Cat" comic is awesome http://i.imgur.com/GdEO1iL.gif
Well here is my first? photo week picture. I rarely leave the house but today I went to have sushi with my cousin. I had a lot of fun, and took this picture specifically for you guys. (Please ignore my messy hair, I didn't have time to get ready as this was a last minute thing!)
I don't normally smile in pictures so enjoy I guess.
I don't normally smile in pictures so enjoy I guess.
Collete
Member
You're being too nice Bagels, it's taken with a shitty camera. But thank you haha
You look so happy, Mike! Nice pic and looks like a good restaurant
Could be argued that a good pic with a bad camera is about talent.
Love it, Mike! You do look really happy and silly!
Just a note that photo week does not need to be photos of you! It can be photos of anything! Just take photos that make you happy and post them!
Like this:
But that's all I have on my camera.
eddfromtheriver
Banned
This just...You just poured salt in the wound. Depression doesn't care if your problems are petty or not. They still exist. Telling someone who's depressed that there are starving kids in Africa is the least productive thing you can do. When you feel a constant pain everyday from depression, every single problem is a huge weight on your shoulders that it becomes impossible to do anything. Honestly I'm surprised jubei can get up to work everyday. Props to him. Sure my problems don't compare to kids in Africa, but what matters is I'm facing them everyday through my eyes and I fight everyday of my life not to damn OD or hang myself in the bathroom.
Please do not tell people that "there are people who are in a worse situation than the one you're in". Please try to understand their perspective and what they're experiencing on a daily basis. Depression is a real medical condition, it's not a whole self pity stage at all.
Thanks classy
I am sorry, i never meant to make anyone feel worse, i was just trying to help. Actually i'm pretty sure i've had depression issues for as long as i can remember, i still do, and i can relate to all that he said in his post, maybe that's the reason i reacted so strongly... again i apologize.
Aw, come on!
You meant well, man. No worries. It's a touchy subject and we can all be defensive about it, depending on how we're feeling.
Collete
Member
Aw thanks!
It's fine. I also apologize if it seems like I'm attacking you. I'm not exactly having the best of the days and I'm protective over people here when I hear advice like that. It's a safe place here against bad comments outside of D-GAF and it's just we try to keep it that way. Still if you want to talk about your issues, we don't mind, we'll hear you accordingly.
Yes! Mutiny!
Heh, i noticed that i was very careful with my comment about talent.
"Could be argued", i didn't make it my opinion strictly speaking... (seriously, good pics Oomi, regardless of camera)
I've noticed i tend to do this quite often even. Not sure why though, perhaps i try to avoid being associated with polarizing opinions?
Introspection is interesting.
"Could be argued", i didn't make it my opinion strictly speaking... (seriously, good pics Oomi, regardless of camera)
I've noticed i tend to do this quite often even. Not sure why though, perhaps i try to avoid being associated with polarizing opinions?
Introspection is interesting.
I'd take photos but i don't have camera, nor smartphone, and my cellphone has issues with bluetooth connection, and i'm not sure if i have a mini/micro (not sure which) USB cable for transferring pics from it... in addition to its camera being weak as it is.
Sigh... should've asked a camera or smartphone for a birthday present, but asking for gifts is not something i do (they're supposed to be surprises!).
Incredible!
True fact: Bagels's kid was the model used for all those old-time paintings of angel babies you always see.
I like your birds! I'll try to remember to take some pictures this week.
User 100115
Banned
That is so awesome, I love it. Smiling and everything! And sushi sounds delicious.
eddfromtheriver
Banned
Ok, here is my picture for the photo week thingie... this photo was taken with a shitty cell cam at my school for a performance i did at expression class.
eddfromtheriver
Banned
I have an honest question, is my picture showing up or not?, because i posted another one, and they told me that it wasn't displaying, i'm wondering if someone could reply and tell me if the picture shows or not... thanks!
ThoseDeafMutes
Member
It's showing up here, but not in the other thread. Not sure why.
I like birds. Theropod dinosaurs probably behaved a lot like them. Which is fucking creepy. Dinosaurs are so awesome. Your birds are not dinosaurs, but that's okay. They are very nice.
eddfromtheriver
Banned
Thanks!, that was the intent!It's there, and scary
Oh cool, bizarre... but thanks!
eddfromtheriver
Banned
Oh!, didn't catch that... my bad... *slaps wrist*
eddfromtheriver
Banned
Thanks a lot dude!
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