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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.

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If you want something done right, you know?
 
One of the things I do when I'm sad is go outside for a walk (if I can manage it). Tonight, it started to rain (not a rarity in Seattle) and instead of lifting my hood, I just stood there and let the drops fall into my hair and down my face.

It's a bit of a cliche but it makes me feel like I'm alive. Also, I went up to the roof of my building (best view in the neighborhood) and took this:

j28fZ15.jpg
 
Here is another picture for the incredible Photo Week! I took it this morning after Oomi convinced me to take a picture! It is my backyard after cutting the grass. Unfortunately, no grass made it into the actual picture. :(

 
One of the things I do when I'm sad is go outside for a walk (if I can manage it). Tonight, it started to rain (not a rarity in Seattle) and instead of lifting my hood, I just stood there and let the drops fall into my hair and down my face.

It's a bit of a cliche but it makes me feel like I'm alive. Also, I went up to the roof of my building (best view in the neighborhood) and took this:

j28fZ15.jpg

I love this, jb! Not as much as my wedding advice, but this is still great!

This is what I want photo week to be - the reasons we go out, and the beauty we find there!

Keep it up, guys!
 
Here is another picture for the incredible Photo Week! I took it this morning after Oomi convinced me to take a picture! It is my backyard after cutting the grass. Unfortunately, no grass made it into the actual picture. :(

That is awesome, Mike! So relaxing!



I'll just quintuple post. No worries. :/
 
I love this, jb! Not as much as my wedding advice, but this is till great!

This is what I want photo week to be - the reasons we go out, and the beauty we find there!

Keep it up, guys!

I'm sure that your wedding advice will be greatly appreciated. ;)
 
Holy crap at that Garden Mike.

Love Seattle!

Went on a walk. Place is called Whatipu (FAH-TEE-POO - i know right). Bout a 40min drive from Auckland. Basically a moonscape. Absolutely zero people around. Many, many birds. I'll try and catch one of em next time.

In a photo i mean.

Gorgeous, humbugs! You'll have to take me when I come visit you!
 
One of the things I do when I'm sad is go outside for a walk (if I can manage it). Tonight, it started to rain (not a rarity in Seattle) and instead of lifting my hood, I just stood there and let the drops fall into my hair and down my face.

It's a bit of a cliche but it makes me feel like I'm alive. Also, I went up to the roof of my building (best view in the neighborhood) and took this:

... Are you me? I could LITERALLY write the exam same post you just wrote. Just replace Seattle with Vancouver (not like it changes the weather), and your picture with my neighbourhood:


Alternatively, nearby: (posted this pic before)

 
... Are you me? I could LITERALLY write the exam same post you just wrote. Just replace Seattle with Vancouver (not like it changes the weather), and your picture with my neighbourhood:

I'm probably not you but you never know. ;)

I've never been to Vancouver but I've always wanted to check it out. I have very few excuses, living relatively close to the border.
 
So uhm.. After 7-8 years of lurking, here I am. I guess it's fitting that my first post is in this thread. Some of you know me from chat. I feel like I should write a long post of (platy)Prax porportions because this community have helped me a lot over the years and I hope I can give some of that back.
 
Yeah Vancouver's quite pretty. Here are my 2 probably most favourite "widescape" city pictures I took.

One of the city I live in:


and one of the city I'm from:


So uhm.. After 7-8 years of lurking, here I am. I guess it's fitting that my first post is in this thread. Some of you know me from chat. I feel like I should write a long post of (platy)Prax porportions because this community have helped me a lot over the years and I hope I can give some of that back.

Hey! I recognize you. :P Uh... Welcome, I guess? :)
 
Humbugs, beautiful! I love that little ridiculous tree in the first picture.

So uhm.. After 7-8 years of lurking, here I am. I guess it's fitting that my first post is in this thread. Some of you know me from chat. I feel like I should write a long post of (platy)Prax porportions because this community have helped me a lot over the years and I hope I can give some of that back.

Swe! Hello!
 
So uhm.. After 7-8 years of lurking, here I am. I guess it's fitting that my first post is in this thread. Some of you know me from chat. I feel like I should write a long post of (platy)Prax porportions because this community have helped me a lot over the years and I hope I can give some of that back.

I am so happy you are here finally! I can't welcome you enough. Welcome, and enjoy gaf. You are officially my favorite junior.
 
So uhm.. After 7-8 years of lurking, here I am. I guess it's fitting that my first post is in this thread. Some of you know me from chat. I feel like I should write a long post of (platy)Prax porportions because this community have helped me a lot over the years and I hope I can give some of that back.

I could not be happier to have our very own Swecide here! For those of you who don't know him, he helps run the chat and mumble, is a steadfast friend to a lot of us (myself included), and an all-around great guy. I can't begin to describe what he has done for me personally. It is a great honor to call him a friend. He points out lots of stuff that happens in this thread to those of us in chat watching over things and is a real champion for the cause. Welcome, Swe! It has been fantastic getting to know you, getting to call you a friend, and now seeing you here!
 
So uhm.. After 7-8 years of lurking, here I am. I guess it's fitting that my first post is in this thread. Some of you know me from chat. I feel like I should write a long post of (platy)Prax porportions because this community have helped me a lot over the years and I hope I can give some of that back.

Welcome! Keep posting here and you won't be a junior for long. ;)

I really like this thread. It's comforting and there's some incredibly nice people here.
 
So ive had on and off depression for a while now, which I do take medication for, but very recent,y, ive been having massive anxiety attacks, along woth being horrifically depressed where its hard for me to do anything.

Unfortunately for me the anxietyattacks are a brand new thing and are causing horrendous problems with my ability to sleep, since all I can do is worry my ass off. I understand that this is all just my brain being derp, and I understand all that shit, but all I want to do is sleep. Is there any tips for anybody in this thread whos had some problems similar to mine?
 
So ive had on and off depression for a while now, which I do take medication for, but very recent,y, ive been having massive anxiety attacks, along woth being horrifically depressed where its hard for me to do anything.

Unfortunately for me the anxietyattacks are a brand new thing and are causing horrendous problems with my ability to sleep, since all I can do is worry my ass off. I understand that this is all just my brain being derp, and I understand all that shit, but all I want to do is sleep. Is there any tips for anybody in this thread whos had some problems similar to mine?

You take any sleep aids? Honestly I have difficulty sleeping without one. I've had success with Trazodone and Amitriptyline. My mother who suffers from severe anxiety and PTSD also takes Amitriptyline for sleep.
 
So ive had on and off depression for a while now, which I do take medication for, but very recent,y, ive been having massive anxiety attacks, along woth being horrifically depressed where its hard for me to do anything.

Unfortunately for me the anxietyattacks are a brand new thing and are causing horrendous problems with my ability to sleep, since all I can do is worry my ass off. I understand that this is all just my brain being derp, and I understand all that shit, but all I want to do is sleep. Is there any tips for anybody in this thread whos had some problems similar to mine?

Take a look at this post I made.
 
You take any sleep aids? Honestly I have difficulty sleeping without one. I've had success with Trazodone and Amitriptyline.
I havent started taking them yet becuase my doctor seems against the idea of giving me them

Ive tried a few over the counter stuff but it generally just makes me groggy, but not sleepy which sucks majorly
 
I havent started taking them yet becuase my doctor seems against the idea of giving me them

Ive tried a few over the counter stuff but it generally just makes me groggy, but not sleepy which sucks majorly

That's what's great about Trazodone and Amitriptyline for me in my personal experience. Very little side effects, I don't feel groggy or anything in the morning, unlike like say benadryl would make me feel. Benadryl is quite effective at knocking me out, but it makes me incredibly groggy. They are anti-depressants, but prescribed in low doses are pretty much just great sleep aids.


Bagel has a great post on the subject I see just above. Speak of the devil, time to take my medication so I can crash.
 
So...

1) Picture Week! Post whatever pics you take! I wasn't envisioning self portraits, but whatever. The idea is to go out in the world and make a little record of it!

2) I leave for Maine in two weeks. I will have no internet. Send me your addresses, tho, and I will write you actual letters! Some of you have already gotten them and seem happy with the results! I'm much sweeter in my letters!

3) I have another idea for a traveling depression-GAF notebook. You will send me an address, and i will mail a little notebook to you (small enough to fit in an envelope). You'll have a page or two for art, or inspirational messages, or questions, or whatever. Then you send it back to me, and I send it to the next person (so your addresses only get shared with one person). It will travel the world and you can carry it for a time to feel inspired and connected! Sounds good? PM me addresses for both projects! I'll start a few notebooks at once if there's interest, so you don't have to wait forever!

Sounds good?

At the very least, let me know if you want a handwritten note from Maine!

And keep the pictures coming!

4) If you're into Animal Crossing, ask me in chat for the friend code list. We kind of have to know you, fair warning.
 
So uhm.. After 7-8 years of lurking, here I am. I guess it's fitting that my first post is in this thread. Some of you know me from chat. I feel like I should write a long post of (platy)Prax porportions because this community have helped me a lot over the years and I hope I can give some of that back.

Welcome!
 
So, after about 2 years of trying to fix my general anxiety disorder with a CBT therapist, I've finally slid down far enough that it was starting to make me really depressed, and I've given up and gone on meds.

Specifically, Zoloft, 50mg. My anxiety is based upon fear of medical conditions and such, so it's very hard to tell if I'm having side effects or not (Note: I just started last night, 1 pill so far). I woke up more groggy than usual. Surely I couldn't be having side effects from one pill, right?

Ugh, I hate having to take medicine to feel "normal", but my depression is getting worse, and my anxiety disorder is making me not want to leave the house. Gotta do something.

Any Zoloft users, please chime in on what your experience was like. Thanks!
 
I may upload a pic or two once I get internet back at home. The stupid thing has been failing for over a week now, and been completely down for the last 3 days.

So uhm.. After 7-8 years of lurking, here I am. I guess it's fitting that my first post is in this thread. Some of you know me from chat. I feel like I should write a long post of (platy)Prax porportions because this community have helped me a lot over the years and I hope I can give some of that back.
Took you a long time to appear here, right? :P

Welcome dude, glad to see you can post now.

4) If you're into Animal Crossing, ask me in chat for the friend code list. We kind of have to know you, fair warning.
If you do something similar for Pokemon X & Y once they come out, I'm in.
 
So uhm.. After 7-8 years of lurking, here I am. I guess it's fitting that my first post is in this thread. Some of you know me from chat. I feel like I should write a long post of (platy)Prax porportions because this community have helped me a lot over the years and I hope I can give some of that back.

Holy heck, it's swecide! Welcome finally at long last!

Fuck this shit

Talk to me on steam.


Thinking of giving up on art...It seems pointless now and knowing I'll never become self sufficient on it, like what I wanted it breaks me...It just all feels pointless...No idea why I'm even fighting this disease any longer...For myself? Screw that...My home feels like my prison now...There's nothing or anyone in this town even if i do go out...I don't know why even try to live each day...
 
Talk to me on steam.


Thinking of giving up on art...It seems pointless now and knowing I'll never become self sufficient on it, like what I wanted it breaks me...It just all feels pointless...No idea why I'm even fighting this disease any longer...For myself? Screw that...My home feels like my prison now...There's nothing or anyone in this town even if i do go out...I don't know why even try to live each day...
I can in a few days.

You shouldn't give up art though.
 
Holy heck, it's swecide! Welcome finally at long last!



Talk to me on steam.


Thinking of giving up on art...It seems pointless now and knowing I'll never become self sufficient on it, like what I wanted it breaks me...It just all feels pointless...No idea why I'm even fighting this disease any longer...For myself? Screw that...My home feels like my prison now...There's nothing or anyone in this town even if i do go out...I don't know why even try to live each day...

Do art for yourself, Oomi. We all love it, obviously, but it's a way out of that "prison" that they can't take from you - no one can. It's yours, it's your expression, and it gives your life meaning. If no one ever saw it - and we do see it, and it inspires us (photo week is because of you!) it would still mean everything. A lot of us draw strength from it. Please keep doing it!
 
Holy heck, it's swecide! Welcome finally at long last!



Talk to me on steam.


Thinking of giving up on art...It seems pointless now and knowing I'll never become self sufficient on it, like what I wanted it breaks me...It just all feels pointless...No idea why I'm even fighting this disease any longer...For myself? Screw that...My home feels like my prison now...There's nothing or anyone in this town even if i do go out...I don't know why even try to live each day...

Sometimes the issue with pursueing a creative career is that it's hard to accept the "all or nothing" approach isn't practical. It's probably why there is a stereotype of young actors working two jobs waiting tables or something between auditioning for roles to make ends meet.
Many people don't really get noticed or make their break for years, to be realistic. There are always exceptions but I believe compromising what you're willing to do to pay the bills while still making time for your passion is important.

Feel free to pm if there's a time you'd like to discuss resume business. Sorry, I haven't been around as much, been preoccupied at home, work and a little under the weather.
 
Hey! I recognize you. :P Uh... Welcome, I guess? :)

Swe! Hello!

I am so happy you are here finally! I can't welcome you enough. Welcome, and enjoy gaf. You are officially my favorite junior.

I could not be happier to have our very own Swecide here! For those of you who don't know him, he helps run the chat and mumble, is a steadfast friend to a lot of us (myself included), and an all-around great guy. I can't begin to describe what he has done for me personally. It is a great honor to call him a friend. He points out lots of stuff that happens in this thread to those of us in chat watching over things and is a real champion for the cause. Welcome, Swe! It has been fantastic getting to know you, getting to call you a friend, and now seeing you here!

Welcome! Keep posting here and you won't be a junior for long. ;)

I really like this thread. It's comforting and there's some incredibly nice people here.

Swecide! Radness. :)


Took you a long time to appear here, right? :P

Welcome dude, glad to see you can post now.

Holy heck, it's swecide! Welcome finally at long last!

Thank you all! I will probably be a junior for a long time, you know quality over quantity. Besides I want to stay as Fictions favorite for as long as possible ;)

I feel as if I've been missing out on a lot of what has been going on for you all ever since I started working. Work is really good for me but as I'm sure most of you chat regulars have noticed weekends can still be a bitch, but you're always there to pick me up. My therapist and I are on a three month break now during the summer, she thinks I'm well enough to continue on my own. It's great to hear those words from someone that knows me but at the same time very scary. For the most part of the last seven years I've had someone to talk to. Right now I feel very positive about it though.

Thinking of giving up on art...It seems pointless now and knowing I'll never become self sufficient on it, like what I wanted it breaks me...It just all feels pointless...No idea why I'm even fighting this disease any longer...For myself? Screw that...My home feels like my prison now...There's nothing or anyone in this town even if i do go out...I don't know why even try to live each day...
Don't give up on your art! I've said it before in chat but I don't think you were around, I want you to paint my apartment. If you enjoy creating art and get something out of it (on an emotional level) then it's serving its purpose. It took me a long time to rediscover my love for writing. Whenever I told someone that I enjoy writing their first responsoe would always be "Why don't you become a journalist?". It took the fun out if it an instant.
 
Thanks for trying to encourage me, guys, but I don't know...I can't do anything but this...So what's the use...I'm fucking weak and helpless...What's the point...Deleted around 13 people from Steam...Feel I'm on the process of isolating myself again...This is the piece I did before I decided to give up:


"You will never get your wings back, even if you reach your salvation," the vines taunt. What is the use?...What is the point of struggling to salvation knowing you'll never belong anywhere...
 
^I could be wrong Fiction, but that looks like a classic corn poppy. They smell great, IMHO. I have a scent spray "Red Poppies" that is meant to mimic their scent. Lovely colour. :3
 
I couldn't sleep last night. I feel horrible and irritable. I'm going to spend my day pulling a Fringe marathon. I hate this insomnia so much.
 
Continuing pictures and stuff, I'm endlessly fascinated by this fountain, which I usually walk past daily. It's hard to tell but those pillars to the left and right of the main fountain are actually spewing out smoke, giving the entire area an unearthly glow (especially at night, when lights are on).

ipyntdx.jpg
 
I want to pull so far within myself I turn inside out.

I'm so deep in depression I'm striking oil.

I'm so sad I make eeyore seem happy.
 
Thinking of giving up on art...It seems pointless now and knowing I'll never become self sufficient on it, like what I wanted it breaks me...It just all feels pointless...No idea why I'm even fighting this disease any longer...For myself? Screw that...My home feels like my prison now...There's nothing or anyone in this town even if i do go out...I don't know why even try to live each day...

This is just my advice but speaking as an artist who isn't able to be self-sufficient on it anymore and in fact, can't do it as much as he wants, keep doing it. It's critically important when fighting depression to keep doing the things you love, the things that give meaning to your life.

Plus, as you've seen, you have fans. ;)
 
Thinking of giving up on art...It seems pointless now and knowing I'll never become self sufficient on it, like what I wanted it breaks me...It just all feels pointless...No idea why I'm even fighting this disease any longer...For myself? Screw that...My home feels like my prison now...There's nothing or anyone in this town even if i do go out...I don't know why even try to live each day...

Don't do that!!! One of your pieces is the background on my computer and it's absolutely beautiful and I love it!!!

Stay with it!!!
 
man im doing rough right now :(

I want to pull so far within myself I turn inside out.

I'm so deep in depression I'm striking oil.

I'm so sad I make eeyore seem happy.

I can't say this will fix your problems, but I find that this poem is something I read over when I'm losing sight of the important things and letting my mind wander or worry over negatives that are silly overall. I guess its message has a nice ring to it. I tend to post it a lot. Maybe you'll like it.

© Max Ehrmann 1927 said:
Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful (sometimes written as "Be cheerful."). Strive to be happy.
 
Love "wings back" Oomi.

This is just my advice but speaking as an artist who isn't able to be self-sufficient on it anymore and in fact, can't do it as much as he wants, keep doing it. It's critically important when fighting depression to keep doing the things you love, the things that give meaning to your life.

Plus, as you've seen, you have fans. ;)

Don't do that!!! One of your pieces is the background on my computer and it's absolutely beautiful and I love it!!!

Stay with it!!!

Thanks guys...I'll think about it at most...
I have fans but not enough to consider people might buy my work to make a living. I got a small handful of followers on Deviantart but if I were to sell prints tomorrow, barely anyone would buy it. I dunno...maybe it takes time....

Anyways, Mikedip pushed me outside to take more photos so.....


All taken from backyard again.
 
Thanks guys...I'll think about it at most...
I have fans but not enough to consider people might buy my work to make a living. I got a small handful of followers on Deviantart but if I were to sell prints tomorrow, barely anyone would buy it. I dunno...maybe it takes time....

Anyways, Mikedip pushed me outside to take more photos so.....



All taken from backyard again.

OMG something about the second one is just so amazing, it legit gave me chills. Awesome photo.
 
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