Oxytocin not Oxycontin. Very similiar looking words, don't blame you.
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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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Oxytocin not Oxycontin. Very similiar looking words, don't blame you.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
I know that feel
I think a lot of my problems stem from a lack of self acceptance, possibly because I may not have a very good understanding of who I am. I feel like this lack of foundation has me in a state of arrested development and results in chronic anxiety. I used to think it might be social anxiety, but I really don't think it is. My anxiety is nearly always initiated when I'm alone and carries over into my social encounters after the fact.
I was going to type more, in terms of details and examples, but I don't know how comfortable I am sharing on here. I think it boils down to putting on a different face for every person/group in my life and not knowing which one is really me, or what combination.
I dunno. Honestly just putting this shit down here because otherwise I'll forget in the morning. It's not like my psychological dilemmas are crippling in every day life. I function and perform well. They're just obstacles between where I am now and long term happiness.
I need to go back to school. They've got free therapists.
I was going to type more, in terms of details and examples, but I don't know how comfortable I am sharing on here. I think it boils down to putting on a different face for every person/group in my life and not knowing which one is really me, or what combination.
I dunno. Honestly just putting this shit down here because otherwise I'll forget in the morning. It's not like my psychological dilemmas are crippling in every day life. I function and perform well. They're just obstacles between where I am now and long term happiness.
I need to go back to school. They've got free therapists.
Today was much more ominous looking. I found it really pretty and inviting though, low fog and mist.
That was until I went up a bit of that hill and had mud a few inches thick on my shoes and said welp I guess that's that.
edit: Kwixotik what you said resonates with how I've felt before. I had many different "pockets" of people I'd be around, but I don't think I put on a different facade, more that I'm easy going and would go along with what was going on for the sake of enjoyment of others/peace/whatever. Interesting point with anxiety. I'm the same way, left alone I'm my own worst enemy.
Hey, now i remember oxytocin from psych classes! Something about couples with more oxytocin being happier and more loyal. That's all i remember though... bits and pieces. (Reading people's explanations triggered the memory)
Looks like real-life Westfall.
...
Goddammit, now i want to play WoW again.
Looks like real-life Westfall.
...
Goddammit, now i want to play WoW again.
Just want to post the song I'm in love with at the moment. I'm so glad I started listening to this band recently, really digging them.
(seriously, if you want me to stop posting this just let me know)
"Aurora" - Foo Fighters
You believe there's something else
to relieve your emptiness.
And you dream about yourself,
and you bleed and breath the air.
And it's on and on and on and on and on.
I just kinda died for you.
You just kinda stared at me.
We will always have the chance,
we can do this one more time.
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
All this time...
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
Take me now.
You spin the sun around,
and the stars will all come out.
Then we turn and come back down.
Turn and come back down.
You believe there's somewhere else
where it's easier than this.
And you see outside yourself,
and you buy the hole you'll fill.
And it's on and on and on and on and on.
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
All this time...
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
Take me now.
You spin the sun around,
and the stars will all come out.
Then we turn and come back down.
Turn and come back down.
On and on and on aurora,
wait for everyone.
Wait till the last one's done.
Take me now.
You spin the sun around,
and the stars will all come out.
Then we turn and come back down.
Turn and come back down.
Turn and come back down.
Turn and come back down.
On and on and on and on...
(seriously, if you want me to stop posting this just let me know)
"Aurora" - Foo Fighters
You believe there's something else
to relieve your emptiness.
And you dream about yourself,
and you bleed and breath the air.
And it's on and on and on and on and on.
I just kinda died for you.
You just kinda stared at me.
We will always have the chance,
we can do this one more time.
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
All this time...
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
Take me now.
You spin the sun around,
and the stars will all come out.
Then we turn and come back down.
Turn and come back down.
You believe there's somewhere else
where it's easier than this.
And you see outside yourself,
and you buy the hole you'll fill.
And it's on and on and on and on and on.
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
All this time...
Hell yeah, I remember aurora.
Take me now.
You spin the sun around,
and the stars will all come out.
Then we turn and come back down.
Turn and come back down.
On and on and on aurora,
wait for everyone.
Wait till the last one's done.
Take me now.
You spin the sun around,
and the stars will all come out.
Then we turn and come back down.
Turn and come back down.
Turn and come back down.
Turn and come back down.
On and on and on and on...
Lionheart1827
Member
Ugh, I feel like complete crap right now. Nauseous and feeling sick. I swear whenever I start having better days, one of these days are following right behind to bring me down to the dumps. I shouldve stayed home today.
Nooo, don't do this. We all here care for you! Remember that this is a treatable disease...
Does he told you what does he expect the hospital to do for you?
So, this is the magic love potion we all lonely guys have been waiting for!?
Collete
Member
Treatable....But not curable....
Still super jealous of where you are!
Anyways, sorry for bolting after my last post, guys. Kind of wanted to get away from all that stuff for the weekend. Thank you to everyone who responded and it did make me feel much better and more calm about everything that's happening. :3 Love you all. <3 My surgery is on Saturday and I'll try to post an update as soon as I can.
Collete
Member
Manageable.
barely.
Ain't that the truth. I am fighting a losing battle here, also, but never give up Oomi. ;.;
Always fucking something. Mom is having financial issues because of someone elses fuck-up depositing a check early. Her account is overdrawn, she's stressing and I'm stressing because I can't fucking do anything to help. I have no job, no money, no resources and hell my credit is shit. I hate feeling fucking helpless and why do I feel so much guilt for something that isn't my fault? Goddamnit . . .
Edit: So the situation was even worse than I initially thought. I can't enjoy myself normally, so I really feel like I have no right to be happy in-light of this incident. Nothing I can fucking do, I hate having no fucking leverage. I can't help myself, so of course I have no resources for my fucking family. What do I fucking offer? Maybe if I didn't spend my money like an impulsive idiot, trying to fill a void in my heart with material possessions, which in the end doesn't do jack shit and marijuana I could help. I sometimes wish I was more ignorant or oblivious to the things around me like my siblings. They are either indifferent, self-centered or simply good at hiding it. But no, I'm aware of everything in this fucking tiny hellhole. Here I am fucking judging and beating myself up, the status quo, Christ. . .
Edit: So the situation was even worse than I initially thought. I can't enjoy myself normally, so I really feel like I have no right to be happy in-light of this incident. Nothing I can fucking do, I hate having no fucking leverage. I can't help myself, so of course I have no resources for my fucking family. What do I fucking offer? Maybe if I didn't spend my money like an impulsive idiot, trying to fill a void in my heart with material possessions, which in the end doesn't do jack shit and marijuana I could help. I sometimes wish I was more ignorant or oblivious to the things around me like my siblings. They are either indifferent, self-centered or simply good at hiding it. But no, I'm aware of everything in this fucking tiny hellhole. Here I am fucking judging and beating myself up, the status quo, Christ. . .
butzopower
proud of his butz
Only got half an hour with my therapist after two weeks. I feel like I bring up a lot of things that happened within two days of therapy, and maybe miss out on bringing up stuff that happens afterwards for the next week. I don't know if I want to spend the time talking about my interpersonal stuff, which is usually more presently relevant, or if I want to try and tackle the bigger stuff like exstistential crisises and my fears of future tragedies. I guess I'm trying to figure out what is making me anxious, and so if it doesn't seem immediately relevant, maybe it doesn't matter.
i've been taking mirtazapine for a few months and it's the best drug i've been on in terms of making me want to kill myself less, but the side effects of gaining weight have been bugging me. like much of the good work it does is being undone by me being really self conscious about my body. i've always been pretty skinny so this is uncharted territory for me too, which makes it a bit harder to take.
anyway that brings me to asking whether anyone in depression-gaf has any basic weight loss tips. really don't want to make a thread for this, so thought i'd ask here, especially as people might have insight in how to do it when you're depressed and easily discouraged.
anyway that brings me to asking whether anyone in depression-gaf has any basic weight loss tips. really don't want to make a thread for this, so thought i'd ask here, especially as people might have insight in how to do it when you're depressed and easily discouraged.
You could try cutting sugary drinks outta your diet. If I gave a shit about my body that would probably be the first thing I'd cut. Lot of calories in sodas and juices.
Besides changing your diet, exercise has so many beneficial effects beyond losing weight that I would recommend it to everyone. It does take work though and I know when you're depressed it's so easy to talk yourself out of doing things. Do you have a friend or someone who can be a workout partner?
thanks!
i drink a lot of coke and a bit of orange juice. this is definitely something i can start with.
i might be able to rope my sister in for some jogging. will talk to her about it.
i drink a lot of coke and a bit of orange juice. this is definitely something i can start with.
i might be able to rope my sister in for some jogging. will talk to her about it.
Feel like i want to rant but not sure about what.
Not sure it would do any good either. Sigh...
Did this place have chat or some such? When and where?
EDIT looks like the OP has it... but decided i ain't going to talk after all.
EDIT perhaps i should talk after all. Or not. If i open the chat, i'm committed to talking for some time.
Not sure it would do any good either. Sigh...
Did this place have chat or some such? When and where?
EDIT looks like the OP has it... but decided i ain't going to talk after all.
EDIT perhaps i should talk after all. Or not. If i open the chat, i'm committed to talking for some time.
I'm not too good at it either in person. Most of the time, I feel I just come across as boring or weird. Human connection has always been a tricky one for me that hasn't improved too much over the years.
I ballooned in weight on pills as well and a lot of it was water retention. I had to stop those pills because they affected me badly but a good tip to losing weight is make sure you have 8 glasses of water a day and buy a chopper/mincer. Break your food intake down to say two cups of vegetables, two cups of meat/nuts/ protein, two cups of cereal and two cups of fruit. those are your basics that you need. Having fruit in the morning and vegetables at nights will speed up metabolism. This isn't a perfect diet and shouldn't be followed strictly just a general guide to portions and the chopping and mincing is to help with digesting for lazy chewers. I lost 100 pounds following the basics of that diet. Good luck.
PS: People already mentioned exercise but also you should get 15 minutes of sunlight. Do a morning and nightly walk and say hello to people as well.
The little blip where I went nuts aside, the new med is doing something for me. I feel...revitalized. Like the vital spark that was lacking is back. I could really tell today by how I was laughing at stuff. If you know me from the chat, I obviously really like to be silly, joke around, and laugh. Being with my friends brings it out of me even when I'm down, and it can boost me up a bit. But when I really feel like myself, I just really enjoy life, and I'm like that more or less all the time. Like, I drive my wife sweetly nuts when we're driving somewhere because I'm just enjoying the hell out of life and commenting on everything and making jokes and making myself laugh (she is a very patient woman!). I had forgotten how much I love life, just relentlessly love life, when I feel like me.
I'm on this lower dose now, so I hope my body is more used to it, and I can just kind of keep feeling better without having more side effects. I feel a little more ready to get my life back in gear. I hope I'll keep feeling this spark, have a nice trip with my family, and come back and start kicking ass and taking names.
Who know how I'll feel tomorrow, but you've got to keep that tiny bit of hope going that you can start feeling better. I still have therapy, and relationships to rebuild, and things to change, but for the first time in a long time, I can kind of see it happening.
I'm on this lower dose now, so I hope my body is more used to it, and I can just kind of keep feeling better without having more side effects. I feel a little more ready to get my life back in gear. I hope I'll keep feeling this spark, have a nice trip with my family, and come back and start kicking ass and taking names.
Who know how I'll feel tomorrow, but you've got to keep that tiny bit of hope going that you can start feeling better. I still have therapy, and relationships to rebuild, and things to change, but for the first time in a long time, I can kind of see it happening.
I gained weight on mirtazapine, too. I just never felt full. I feel like I should have tried harder to do some of the things people have suggested for you, because I did pretty well on it, but I could not take the side effects.
Do it! no rush! But chat is here for people to talk.
That drugs (meds, whatever, Finnish has better words for these) can have very quick and strong effect on one make me really, really unwilling to ever use them for treating depression.
Kind of... identity problem for me. I mean, if i take something, and it changes me... what's true "me"? Is there even "me", if meds can change "me" so fast, to something else?
Hypothetical of course, i still haven't managed to get myself to visit therapist/psychiatrist/whatever (still haven't even bothered to find out the right word for what i'll be wanting). I don't keep promises to myself... that said, i never really even make them.
EDIT kind of a philosophical problem... Doesn't make it any less important for me. A very big part of why i don't use alcohol, the same problem.
Some other time. I should go to sleep. It is 5:30AM here... Not that it matters for me.
Kind of... identity problem for me. I mean, if i take something, and it changes me... what's true "me"? Is there even "me", if meds can change "me" so fast, to something else?
Hypothetical of course, i still haven't managed to get myself to visit therapist/psychiatrist/whatever (still haven't even bothered to find out the right word for what i'll be wanting). I don't keep promises to myself... that said, i never really even make them.
EDIT kind of a philosophical problem... Doesn't make it any less important for me. A very big part of why i don't use alcohol, the same problem.
Some other time. I should go to sleep. It is 5:30AM here... Not that it matters for me.
This post made me glad. Like, genuinely happy. It's fantastic that you're feeling that way Bags, and I sincerely hope you can keep that spirit.
How was that phrase? Stay as well as possible? Well, that. You managed to put a smile on my face man
Well, it's my birthday! Hurray! I am now 26!
I really do love holidays and birthdays, it gives me a chance to see my family and is a good way to measure the passage of time. Can't believe an entire year has gone by already.
I really do love holidays and birthdays, it gives me a chance to see my family and is a good way to measure the passage of time. Can't believe an entire year has gone by already.
My insurance also runs out today 
Guys, happy birthday to our one and only MikeDip! We'll be celebrating by launching the first episode of Mike's and I's official Mental-Health-GAF relationship advice podcast, "Just the Dip, with Mike and Bagels." Look for that any time now/Never!*
*There might actually be a little audio thing in the works for the community. But no promises.
*There might actually be a little audio thing in the works for the community. But no promises.
Happy birthday man!
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Many of the great orators and conversationalists were very awkward in their twenties and even into their thirties. For me it's bevause I think a lot faster than I can talk and that trips me up.
happy birtday mr. Dip!
AFollowerNotALeader
Member
Basically one of my worst (OCD) nightmares happened this morning.
http://my.opera.com/securitygroup/blog/2013/06/26/opera-infrastructure-attack
Post-panic attack:
I'm fairly convinced I'm OK because my home PCs were off, I was asleep in bed during the attack (1AM to 1:36AM UTC is 2AM to 2:36AM BST), according the VirusTotal MSE detects it and MSE has detected nothing and so on.
Of course there's the little voices in the back of saying that it's not OK and if I don't check more things and something bad happens, IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
The fact that I have nothing else to check doesn't matter.
http://my.opera.com/securitygroup/blog/2013/06/26/opera-infrastructure-attack
Post-panic attack:
I'm fairly convinced I'm OK because my home PCs were off, I was asleep in bed during the attack (1AM to 1:36AM UTC is 2AM to 2:36AM BST), according the VirusTotal MSE detects it and MSE has detected nothing and so on.
Of course there's the little voices in the back of saying that it's not OK and if I don't check more things and something bad happens, IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
The fact that I have nothing else to check doesn't matter.
Happy birthday Mike! Hope you can enjoy today a lot.Well, it's my birthday! Hurray! I am now 26!
I really do love holidays and birthdays, it gives me a chance to see my family and is a good way to measure the passage of time. Can't believe an entire year has gone by already.
My insurance also runs out today
Well, it's my birthday! Hurray! I am now 26!
I really do love holidays and birthdays, it gives me a chance to see my family and is a good way to measure the passage of time. Can't believe an entire year has gone by already.
My insurance also runs out today
Happy birthday!
Well, it's my birthday! Hurray! I am now 26!
I really do love holidays and birthdays, it gives me a chance to see my family and is a good way to measure the passage of time. Can't believe an entire year has gone by already.
My insurance also runs out today
Happy bday Mike.
I know I said I was quitting GAF for a while, but I didnt.
happy birthday mikedip. hope you have a great day
thank you for the insight. i'll definitely take that into account. water, sunlight fruit in the mornings and veggies at night seems like an easy first step. i'll look into the harder task of breaking things down too.
thanks for sharing. i'll bear that in mind. sometimes i forget that i can change my pills if i find they're not helping me. it took me ages to change from the last one as i felt like it was my fault it wasn't working.
congrats on getting to your new current happiness btw. hopefully you can keep it up, especially as your post really made me smile
I ballooned in weight on pills as well and a lot of it was water retention. I had to stop those pills because they affected me badly but a good tip to losing weight is make sure you have 8 glasses of water a day and buy a chopper/mincer. Break your food intake down to say two cups of vegetables, two cups of meat/nuts/ protein, two cups of cereal and two cups of fruit. those are your basics that you need. Having fruit in the morning and vegetables at nights will speed up metabolism. This isn't a perfect diet and shouldn't be followed strictly just a general guide to portions and the chopping and mincing is to help with digesting for lazy chewers. I lost 100 pounds following the basics of that diet. Good luck.
PS: People already mentioned exercise but also you should get 15 minutes of sunlight. Do a morning and nightly walk and say hello to people as well.
thank you for the insight. i'll definitely take that into account. water, sunlight fruit in the mornings and veggies at night seems like an easy first step. i'll look into the harder task of breaking things down too.
thanks for sharing. i'll bear that in mind. sometimes i forget that i can change my pills if i find they're not helping me. it took me ages to change from the last one as i felt like it was my fault it wasn't working.
congrats on getting to your new current happiness btw. hopefully you can keep it up, especially as your post really made me smile
This is something I've been thinking of recently too. I go through similar worries of not knowing exactly what I should and shouldn't bring up to my therapist each week. I find myself asking whether I should talk to him about each individual anxiety I've felt during the course of the week, or whether I should approach my fears as a more generalised concept. I think I usually see myself going over each anxiety, since the CBT I'm going seems to rely on individual experiences and how the pattern of thinking can be altered.
So if I could say anything to you, it would be that bringing up what is most relevant to you, be that an anxiety or what you're calling interpersonal stuff, in that moment is going to help you the most in the short-term, while remembering that your goal is ultimately to be able to readily deal with anxiety when it hits, or better yet, not experience so much anxiety in the first place. In an ideal world we'd find a balance of what to talk about with therapists but, you only have a limited time with them and sometimes it's hard to find the exact thoughts you want them to understand and help you with.
I have my own therapist appointment today, but I also have a lot of other things I'm dealing with today. I really, really, don't want to go. I said this last time and I went, but I dunno about today. Kind of wishing I could just hide away in a shell.
thanks for sharing. i'll bear that in mind. sometimes i forget that i can change my pills if i find they're not helping me. it took me ages to change from the last one as i felt like it was my fault it wasn't working.
congrats on getting to your new current happiness btw. hopefully you can keep it up, especially as your post really made me smile
I need to go sappy-bagels again and just say how great it feels to have so much support from all of you guys! I really really want to be strong and healthy in part so I can do more for this community. Making you guys laugh or smile always makes me smile. Being able to listen and offer any help I can is super important to me, but moreover, I want my good moods to be infectious. When my wife is down, I'll do anything I can to get a laugh out of her. I love that in the thread or in chat, where someone is feeling down, and we can get them laughing. Not that we need to avoid dealing with real problems and being serious, but I know there are many of us (myself included) who love knowing that we can pop into chat and see friendly faces who we know will have us laughing right away. I've relied on that through many tough days.
It's an amazing thing to be told that hearing I feel good makes other people feel good! I feel the same way about you guys. It really makes me think about the friendships I have in here and how very much they mean to me, and how connected we have become.
I'm excited to be on vacation and unplugged from the net for the next two weeks, but I'll definitely miss the community and fret a bit that people are getting help. I KNOW all the people who will keep things moving along, but it's still personal to me.
I have about 10 letters to write during my vacation, to people all over the world, which is very exciting for me! I freaking LOVE writing letters, and I'm happy that people trust me not to use their addresses to murder them, or show up to sleep on their couch with my cats or whatever (maybe both!). Just one more note to drop me a PM with an address if you want a handwritten bagel-gram, written while I drink a cold ice tea and watch the tide come in the bay in Maine. Send me a question to ponder for you, or just leave it to me to write you something from my bagely heart.
I'm gonna miss your beautiful faces!
One more time, for those who missed it:
User 100115
Banned
Enjoy yourself Bagels, we'll be kind to ourselves You do the same.
You do the same.Lionheart1827
Member
Have fun in Maine, bagels, and have some lobster, too!
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