Have you seen Regular Show? Much better at capturing that old school gaming nostalgia. The creator is a big fan of those old school games. It's a weird show but not as bizarre as Adventure Time. You might like that a lot more.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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Have you seen Regular Show? Much better at capturing that old school gaming nostalgia. The creator is a big fan of those old school games. It's a weird show but not as bizarre as Adventure Time. You might like that a lot more.
No, I never heard of it. I'll look into it, thanks.
My boss basically shouted at me, when all I was doing was what he told me to do a few weeks prior to the incident. He was saying how I was an embarrassment, how I don't appreciate what he's done for me, amongst other things. It really, really hurt me.Fucking awful week, espsecially today. Work is really destroying me.
Everyone at work is basically against me now, and I can't stand it anymore.
Gonna try and get out of there soon, but I'm just struggling to motivate myself. I have an extended weekend next weekend, so I'm hoping I can motivate myself to not only chill out a bit but get some much needed portfolio work done.
Having said that I did get on with some art today! Albeit a piece I last worked on last year...
Still a WIP though.
Lionheart1827
Member
Collete
Member
Having said that I did get on with some art today! Albeit a piece I last worked on last year...
Still a WIP though.
Wow this is really good!
But how come you never finished it?
What does that say along the boarder, swe?
Also my submission or art week:
I like to think it reminds me of burning under the sun.
"It doesn't get any better than this"
User 100115
Banned
Wanted to post a Pau update! I texted her today and she says she is doing well, and was discharged this morning. And it went good. 
Wanted to post a Pau update! I texted her today and she says she is doing well, and was discharged this morning. And it went good.
Oh god that is great to hear!
eddfromtheriver
Banned
Here's my drawing for the "Light" motif. Hope you guys like it.
Wanted to post a Pau update! I texted her today and she says she is doing well, and was discharged this morning. And it went good.
nice to hear. good luck pau!
ThoseDeafMutes
Member
What happened to Pau?
So thinking I might have developed a bit of an anxiety disorder, or some form of minor PTSD maybe. I haven't had an actual panic attack yet, at least not something that really fits the description, but I'll share my story anyways.
So back in the beginning of February (around 5 months ago? Seems longer and not long enough at the same time) my apartment mate hung himself in the bathtub. I'd known him since just the beginning of January, and never really talked to him too much, since our schedules didn't allow that much. So it was one morning in early February that I went to go take a shower, and found him instead. Within about 3 hours of that I'd been sent to school counselors who I talked to for about 3 weeks probably a total of 6 or so times. And I was doing well. I talked to my friends and girlfriend, felt comfortable with the whole thing (or as comfortable as you can), and was doing my schoolwork at a pretty good level. I never had nightmares, or really worried about it other than maybe once every 2 weeks or so for a passing moment.
Then April happened. I go to school in Boston and was grocery shopping by the Boston Marathon finishing line. And while I was lucky enough to not be at the finish line (I almost went about 30 minutes before they went off), I was 2 blocks away and saw the reactions of shock on everybody. This left me with a sort of general unease I guess. I was ok walking around, as long as I was with someone. During this time I really didn't go out alone much, since it was Finals week and I had to pack stuff up to head home for 2 months so I was kinda busy.
So then I went home to Texas. And I felt fine. There were a few nights where I would think about these things, and I kinda zone out a bit here and there and just blank my mind. The biggest thing I noticed is when I was out of the house alone (either hanging out with old HS friends, or doing errands) I got nervous about going back and felt like I had to be home. It wasn't really a social thing, since I was fine with people coming over to my house, but when I drove over I felt uncomfortable driving out by myself, mostly out of fear of walking back and seeing someone dead.
So we come to today. I'm back up at college for a work study 6-months then my last semester. I was nervous/scared a bit to go back, partially because my GF is abroad and most of my friends just graduated. And I check into my new apartment and the first thing I hear is running water from the shower. So I instantly get really nervous and scared. First thought was someone was in the apartment. I almost had to walk off and ask a stranger to go look in my bathroom to make sure nobody was in there. I managed to get enough courage and forced myself to open the shower curtain. The faucets were just broken and didn't fully shut off, so I sent in a work request to get it fixed. But the fact it managed to get me so worked up and scared about even just looking in has me a bit concerned.
So what do I do here? I can either just wait it out, give me time to adapt (like I normally take after I move somewhere) and check out then how I'm feeling. Or I can go and talk to someone about it even more and see what they have to say. But I'm not even sure what it's more akin to, Anxiety or PTSD type thing. Anybody have any input/advice?
So back in the beginning of February (around 5 months ago? Seems longer and not long enough at the same time) my apartment mate hung himself in the bathtub. I'd known him since just the beginning of January, and never really talked to him too much, since our schedules didn't allow that much. So it was one morning in early February that I went to go take a shower, and found him instead. Within about 3 hours of that I'd been sent to school counselors who I talked to for about 3 weeks probably a total of 6 or so times. And I was doing well. I talked to my friends and girlfriend, felt comfortable with the whole thing (or as comfortable as you can), and was doing my schoolwork at a pretty good level. I never had nightmares, or really worried about it other than maybe once every 2 weeks or so for a passing moment.
Then April happened. I go to school in Boston and was grocery shopping by the Boston Marathon finishing line. And while I was lucky enough to not be at the finish line (I almost went about 30 minutes before they went off), I was 2 blocks away and saw the reactions of shock on everybody. This left me with a sort of general unease I guess. I was ok walking around, as long as I was with someone. During this time I really didn't go out alone much, since it was Finals week and I had to pack stuff up to head home for 2 months so I was kinda busy.
So then I went home to Texas. And I felt fine. There were a few nights where I would think about these things, and I kinda zone out a bit here and there and just blank my mind. The biggest thing I noticed is when I was out of the house alone (either hanging out with old HS friends, or doing errands) I got nervous about going back and felt like I had to be home. It wasn't really a social thing, since I was fine with people coming over to my house, but when I drove over I felt uncomfortable driving out by myself, mostly out of fear of walking back and seeing someone dead.
So we come to today. I'm back up at college for a work study 6-months then my last semester. I was nervous/scared a bit to go back, partially because my GF is abroad and most of my friends just graduated. And I check into my new apartment and the first thing I hear is running water from the shower. So I instantly get really nervous and scared. First thought was someone was in the apartment. I almost had to walk off and ask a stranger to go look in my bathroom to make sure nobody was in there. I managed to get enough courage and forced myself to open the shower curtain. The faucets were just broken and didn't fully shut off, so I sent in a work request to get it fixed. But the fact it managed to get me so worked up and scared about even just looking in has me a bit concerned.
So what do I do here? I can either just wait it out, give me time to adapt (like I normally take after I move somewhere) and check out then how I'm feeling. Or I can go and talk to someone about it even more and see what they have to say. But I'm not even sure what it's more akin to, Anxiety or PTSD type thing. Anybody have any input/advice?
ClassyPenguin
Banned
ThoseDeafMutes
Member
Holy shit.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Best wishes go out to her.
Sorry to hear that work situation is so awful. On the plus you've got real talent, I love the eyes.My boss basically shouted at me, when all I was doing was what he told me to do a few weeks prior to the incident. He was saying how I was an embarrassment, how I don't appreciate what he's done for me, amongst other things. It really, really hurt me.
Gonna try and get out of there soon, but I'm just struggling to motivate myself. I have an extended weekend next weekend, so I'm hoping I can motivate myself to not only chill out a bit but get some much needed portfolio work done.
Having said that I did get on with some art today! Albeit a piece I last worked on last year...
Still a WIP though.
This year has been incredibly rough on some of my closest friends, it really sucks because now someone who has always been grounded just reached out and said they're in a rut for the last week. :/ I can deal with myself having these feelings much better than my friends.
Wanted to post a Pau update! I texted her today and she says she is doing well, and was discharged this morning. And it went good.
Glad to hear.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
How do you guys deal with this?
I feel like shit lately, and I've been crying for no reason for a while now. I feel scared, and anxious, and I've been having a lot of bad thoughts.
It sucks, it's draining me, I don't feel like doing much. I have no energy.
I feel like shit lately, and I've been crying for no reason for a while now. I feel scared, and anxious, and I've been having a lot of bad thoughts.
It sucks, it's draining me, I don't feel like doing much. I have no energy.
Man, I'm very sorry for all the stuff that happened to you. It certainly could be PTSD - but I shouldn't try to give you a label like that over the internet. I think, given the specific nature of your problems, it would be best if you sought out a therapist. It's better to be early with this stuff than letting it simmer. It might go away by itself, but it might not, and the longer you'll wait with taking care of stuff like this the harder it'll be. This doesn't sound like the kind of thing where you can just read something in a book or online that'll make everything all better, but counseling (and possibly medication, if you're willing to go that way) could be of a lot of help to you.
I hope you'll get the help you need. You've had an unusual amount of bad stuff happening to you in a short time - hopefully life will give you a break for a bit. Take care of yourself.
butzopower
proud of his butz
Go talk to someone professionally if you can, since it sounds like you're being affected not just where you moved to, but when you went back home and such. It sounds like you might be becoming paranoid, which will continue to affect your perception and won't be any fun.
MisterLuffy
Member
My family members came by yesterday, and there were my two cousins I don't even know. But for some reason they knew me. I have no memory of them. One of my cousin asked me if I remember her, and I said no. I don't know if I upset her or not, but she said "Why do I remember you?" or something like that. It was awkward as hell. I replied saying I have bad memories meaning not remember anything from before. It's like my memories were erased. If they want to forget me, then by all means. I want to be forgotten by everyone. Because it seems to me that I forget people easily.
Oh fuck :/
I'm waiting till you come back and tell us that everything went fine, Pau. Wish you the best!
Bel Marduk
Banned
Even if you have no energy, you should try to force yourself to be more active or at least try to channel your mental energy into something positive.. even playing video games would have a positive effect. Left untreated (especially when its dwelled upon) depression will almost certainly get worse. I know it sounds ridiculous, but whenever I'm having a really long bout with depression and anxiety, I have to force myself to smile.. and I'll do it all day and eventually I will actually feel like smiling.
From what you've posted elsewhere, it seems your mother is the cause of a lot of this depression and anxiety. I was appalled reading about some of the things she did or said..
Its important that you remember that there is no rational basis for the way she feels about your sexual orientation and hopefully, she will eventually come around. She is the one with the problem, not you.
Thank you everyone.
The surgery went great. No complications and there's very little pain considering what they did. Also no stitches! They used fancy new glue stuff to close the wound. Medicine man. 
Maybe I'll take a picture of my lovely new neck decoration. 
The scary part is over. I'm still waiting on the pathology report to see if I need radiation and in a week or so I'll start on the hormone replacement. Having the cancer come back isn't uncommon, but it isn't common either. So I'll be getting regular check ups but hopefully that's the last we'll see of it.
Thank you to everyone for your support. GAF and this thread have been lovely, not just for this, but for all the support you've given me before too. You folks are amazing. <3
ClassyPenguin
Banned
But I already knew I was amazing.
hehe.
Seriously, though that's scary enough as it is. Hope it all ends up well.
hehe.
Seriously, though that's scary enough as it is. Hope it all ends up well.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Any of you guys have sleeping problems with your medicines? My medicine makes me sleep 12-14 hours a day, and I want off.
I have the opposite problem; I can't sleep regularly so I end up with an irregular pattern.
Some anti-depressants cause drowsiness. My psychiatrists have told me that if I do, to take them at night.
How long have you been on them? I had all kinds of effects when I start a new med, but most went away after a couple of weeks.
Collete
Member
I wouldn't fret over it.
I know with depression, the illness can cause impaired memory and it can be really hard to remember people, things, places etc.
Heck I know I forget in a split second what I'm even doing and spend hours trying to remember again.
And for the record, I won't forget you. I still remember you from here, just try not to pay heed to your cousins. It is common with people with depression.
Thank you everyone.
The scary part is over. I'm still waiting on the pathology report to see if I need radiation and in a week or so I'll start on the hormone replacement. Having the cancer come back isn't uncommon, but it isn't common either. So I'll be getting regular check ups but hopefully that's the last we'll see of it.
Thank you to everyone for your support. GAF and this thread have been lovely, not just for this, but for all the support you've given me before too. You folks are amazing. <3
I'm glad the surgery went well Pau
You're a brave woman to go through all this, hun. We're all rooting for ya.
Hopefully the cancer doesn't return however.
Sleeping irregularly sucks too. I've been on them for months.
Yeah that's what I was leaning towards, just guess I kinda needed someone to tell me to do that. Thanks for the feedback, I'll set up an appointment with the school counseling people sometime soon and hopefully they'll be able to either give me advice, or refer me to someone around here that can be of help.
So so so so glad to hear this. And no stitches? That's awesome! (needles are horrible and should be banned from existence.)Thank you everyone.
The scary part is over. I'm still waiting on the pathology report to see if I need radiation and in a week or so I'll start on the hormone replacement. Having the cancer come back isn't uncommon, but it isn't common either. So I'll be getting regular check ups but hopefully that's the last we'll see of it.
Thank you to everyone for your support. GAF and this thread have been lovely, not just for this, but for all the support you've given me before too. You folks are amazing. <3
Now I'm waiting till you come back again and tell us that your checkups went fine. Once again, I wish you the best!
Thank you everyone.
The scary part is over. I'm still waiting on the pathology report to see if I need radiation and in a week or so I'll start on the hormone replacement. Having the cancer come back isn't uncommon, but it isn't common either. So I'll be getting regular check ups but hopefully that's the last we'll see of it.
Thank you to everyone for your support. GAF and this thread have been lovely, not just for this, but for all the support you've given me before too. You folks are amazing. <3
I wish you all the best Pau! You are tough.
Y'know, I don't want to die or anything, at least until after I have beaten Pokemon X, but there are some days I want the world behind.
My friend tells me from time to time when I am cooped up in my apartment that if you forget about the world, the world forgets about you.
Sometimes, I wouldn't mind if I forget about the world and vice versa... I think I would he a little happier. I wouldn't encounter people who do things that hurt me.
Oh well.
Glad you are doing well, Pau! And SAWAP to everyone else...
My friend tells me from time to time when I am cooped up in my apartment that if you forget about the world, the world forgets about you.
Sometimes, I wouldn't mind if I forget about the world and vice versa... I think I would he a little happier. I wouldn't encounter people who do things that hurt me.
Oh well.
Glad you are doing well, Pau! And SAWAP to everyone else...
Thank you everyone.
The scary part is over. I'm still waiting on the pathology report to see if I need radiation and in a week or so I'll start on the hormone replacement. Having the cancer come back isn't uncommon, but it isn't common either. So I'll be getting regular check ups but hopefully that's the last we'll see of it.
Thank you to everyone for your support. GAF and this thread have been lovely, not just for this, but for all the support you've given me before too. You folks are amazing. <3
I'm glad everything seemed to have went well. Good luck!
Lionheart1827
Member
Thank you everyone.
The scary part is over. I'm still waiting on the pathology report to see if I need radiation and in a week or so I'll start on the hormone replacement. Having the cancer come back isn't uncommon, but it isn't common either. So I'll be getting regular check ups but hopefully that's the last we'll see of it.
Thank you to everyone for your support. GAF and this thread have been lovely, not just for this, but for all the support you've given me before too. You folks are amazing. <3
As a fellow cancer destroyer, I salute you Pau! Glad you're doing well. Is the "glue" actually dissolving stitches? because when I got my port implant as well as my biopsy they used this clear dissolving stitch.
I'm actually having surgery Friday to get my port finally removed, can't wait to say goodbye to it!
Stay strong though!
The main reason I stopped taking any drugs at all is because I was sleeping 15 hours a day and it wasn't at a regular time either. I would just go to sleep at a random time and wake up 12-14 hours later. I don't really recommend not taking any medication at all unless you are really on top of whatever illness you have. It's not an easy road. I'd talk to the doctor about sleeping. I can't remember the name now but there are drugs that combine sleeping pills with the other medication and there are a wider range of doses for it as well so you have some control.
People don't be scared to go back and ask for a dial back or change of medication. Your doctor can prescribe you a therapeutic dose but they can't be with you 24/7 to monitor things and they can't hear what you don't tell them. The fine tuning of these drugs will mostly come down to you.
I'm sick of waking up every morning and feeling this way. Yesterday my sister taunted me about being suicidal. I'm not sure if it was as a joke or not, but the tone sounded annoyed and it hurt, especially since I had done nothing to warrant what she said. Now that school (and high school) is over, I'll just be at home for these two months, which really sucks. Now it'll just be clear I have no friends/support group here, as I most likely won't be seeing anyone at all this summer. Having no friends/nobody who cares about you sucks. I actually cried myself to sleep again the last two nights. I don't see a point in going on like this much longer. I don't think I'll be able to last the next few weeks with how I'm feeling right now; I just want everything to end.
Also, stay strong Pau! Kick this thing in its teeth. Twice.
Aw crap, new page.
Also, stay strong Pau! Kick this thing in its teeth. Twice.
Aw crap, new page.
MisterLuffy
Member
Thank you
I'm not so good in remembering people and their names. Usually I have to ask once or twice to know their names. When they told me once, I easily forget the next second. If I want to remember people, usually what helps me do so is to hang out with them everyday or at least seeing them more often.
Today was No Shame Day, a holiday of sorts started by The Siwe Project, a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting mental health awareness in the black community. There is something of a stigma within the black community about discussing mental health issues like depression and bipolar disorder, and No Shame Day is an opportunity for people to rally together by openly discussing their history with mental health issues. In honor of that, I wrote this blog detailing my own story.
I debated posting this on Gaf because I've shared on here quite a bit and I don't want to seem like I'm seeking attention. But in the end, I figured that maybe it could help someone.
Remember guys, you aren't in it alone.
Go go, Pau!
I debated posting this on Gaf because I've shared on here quite a bit and I don't want to seem like I'm seeking attention. But in the end, I figured that maybe it could help someone.
Remember guys, you aren't in it alone.
Thank you everyone.
The scary part is over. I'm still waiting on the pathology report to see if I need radiation and in a week or so I'll start on the hormone replacement. Having the cancer come back isn't uncommon, but it isn't common either. So I'll be getting regular check ups but hopefully that's the last we'll see of it.
Thank you to everyone for your support. GAF and this thread have been lovely, not just for this, but for all the support you've given me before too. You folks are amazing. <3
Go go, Pau!
I'm hoping July is an improvement. The past several days have had me feeling better, which is good because some real actual life shit is beginning to pop up and a clearer head would be nice. June was one of the worst months I've had, and unfortunately, the past 2 weeks have confirmed I know too many people in real life that read this thread for me to post details or specifics in this thread anymore. Uggggghhhhh.
You! You didn't send me a text today!
(well, yesterday)Also stay strong Pau! :x
You can always contact some us who don't/never will know you via PM, if you'd like.
I would like to share this poem. I wrote this for the gaf poetry thread but I think it fits here. I didn't intend for it to be so depressing it just sort of ended up that way. I guess a bit too much of myself bled into it which is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm no Walt Whitman but I'm proud of it.
Ouroboros
Nursing my wounded pride,
as if it could be resuscitated.
Dead as a doornail.
The words of the shaman,
fall on deaf ears.
Fading like so much ether.
I'm lacking in knowledge.
As for wisdom?
I have none.
My strength is ever waning.
My hopes,
gone for good.
As the decades grow shorter,
my shadow grows longer.
My only solace,
bottled poison and the combustion of plants.
Why can't I shake this feeling,
like something is missing?
A bitter ache. A longing.
Now all I hope to find,
is peace of mind.
A piece lost long ago.
Ouroboros
Nursing my wounded pride,
as if it could be resuscitated.
Dead as a doornail.
The words of the shaman,
fall on deaf ears.
Fading like so much ether.
I'm lacking in knowledge.
As for wisdom?
I have none.
My strength is ever waning.
My hopes,
gone for good.
As the decades grow shorter,
my shadow grows longer.
My only solace,
bottled poison and the combustion of plants.
Why can't I shake this feeling,
like something is missing?
A bitter ache. A longing.
Now all I hope to find,
is peace of mind.
A piece lost long ago.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
As a person inept at terse poetry, I find that beautiful. I am more of a prose heavy person.
Thank you. Yeah, my poetry tends to be terse. I enjoy that "short and sweet" nature of poetry. Of course, I love some good prose too.
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