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Giant Bomb Thread #5 - We love you, Ryan Davis

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DigitalRicket said:
Tried to visit the link but appears that it was taken down? Anyone have a dump on what was said?
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Fine for me

Unsurprisingly, the GameSpot staff has been doing a lot of talking over the past 72 hours--with each other, with friends, with family--and there has definitely been a lot to be said, a lot to be sorted. I'm not going to burden you with the bulk of it here, because a lot of it is private and a lot of it you've probably heard already, but mostly I've grown weary of typing out the same conversation with different people. I will tell you some things that I haven't had a chance to get down in writing yet. Now seems as good a time as any.

Jeff Gerstmann has been a significant figure in both my personal and professional life for a long, long time. I first met him around 1997 though an odd confluence of technology, music, and personal determination. He was in a bizarre local rap-ska band that, at 17, I found utterly fascinating, and he seemed funny as hell. By my recollection, we were fairly fast friends, though I was also kind of pushy about it. As an aside, this was also how I first met review editor Alex Navarro, though at the time he was a twitchy little drummer who, for the first few years that I knew him, was never seen without his black knit cap.

Our ridiculous, protracted rap project the Suburban All-Stars was one of the more prominent early fruits of my friendship with Jeff. We arguably spent more time making each other laugh really, really hard than we did making music, though Jeff mastered the walking-and-chewing-gum dynamic and did both at once with his following music project, Midnight Brown, whose catalog stands as both some of my favorite music ever written, as well as one of the most well-produced series of inside jokes ever. I always admired Jeff's capacity for cutting wit and really imaginative vulgarity, and being around him makes you want to be funnier and more vulgar.

My friendship with Jeff was one of the main reasons I got a part-time job with GameSpot in the spring of 2000, handling support email remotely throughout the week while toiling idly at a local JC. I was only in the office one day a week, and while catching glimpses of what it took to write about games for a living, I knew I wanted to be there all the time. Jeff has literally been there ever since, if not as my direct supervisor, than as a close co-worker and a continued friend. It's been almost 8 years since I started working at GameSpot, and Jeff was there for nearly all of my fondest and most memorable experiences on the job. He's covered my ass through rough patches and helped me become a writer I never thought I'd be, or even wanted to be. Simply put, I would not be in the video game business at all were it not for Jeff Gerstmann, and I am loathe to imagine what I might be doing with my life right now without the focus I've earned from having this ridiculous job. Long after the considerable novelty of "I write about games for a living!" wore off, it was my continued professional interaction with Jeff that has kept this job fun.

But now, Jeff's gone, and I'm not afraid to say that it absolutely breaks my heart. I felt the departure of Rich Gallup from the site earlier this year in my bones, but this goes deeper. Jeff was a rare constant, and this marks the end of an era for both GameSpot and myself, a fact that doesn't seem to be getting any less upsetting for me. Still, one thing about a situation like this is that it encourages you to break out lots of trite sentiment and soft, obvious analogies--things that embarrassingly manage to resonate sincerely when one is in crisis--and there is one chestnut I've used on more than one occassion over the past 72 hours that I would like to share:

The ball is still in motion. This isn't the end for Jeff Gerstmann, this isn't the end for GameSpot, and this isn't the end for me.
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Feeling really sad at work. I just shrugged it off when I got here, but then I started to get bored and think about my usual when I get home routine and inevitably started wondering what would be on gb to watch, and then I remembered this whole thing. It's so damn surreal.
 
I never met them and probably never will... But all I want to do right now is bro hug Jeff.


Man that sucks. It still doesn't feel real. Like the whole day feel like it was a fever dream but then I remember the exact feeling I got when I saw the news the first time this morning and it hits me in the chest. Fuuuuuck.
 
Jtwo said:
Feeling really sad at work. I just shrugged it off when I got here, but then I started to get bored and think about my usual when I get home routine and inevitably started wondering what would be on gb to watch, and then I remembered this whole thing. It's so damn surreal.
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Seriously. I've been listening to this dude at least once a week since 2008. I've had an older sister pass away which was by far the most tragic loss i've experienced, but compared to like my grandma...this feels way worse. Feels go out to everyone whose life he touched, online or IRL.

I'm guessing there hasn't been any stated cause? Just because i haven't really seen anybody say.
 
My girlfriend and I met Ryan at California Extreme last year. He was so, so nice.

I can't believe he is gone. Surreal. Giant Bomb will never be the same.
 
I've been at my girlfriend's all day and was sitting next to her on my phone when I read the news about 15 minutes after it broke, I was fucking shocked. But I couldn't vocalize it because my girlfriend doesn't play video games and obviously doesn't know anything about Giant Bomb, so I had to contain my emotions - which was really hard. I thought about telling her how sad I was but, as others here have said, it would have been pointless to try and explain to her why I was so upset that some guy I'd never met had died.

Now that I'm back in front of my desk, sitting at my computer, I still can't believe it. It was just...out of fucking nowhere. I mean, what the fuck man :( I'll be processing this for a few days, as I'm sure many will. Ryan was the one member of the crew whom I never disagreed with at some point (except for maybe Drew), his tastes mirrored my own in an almost creepy way.

It's going to take me a long ass time to get used to listening/watching GB content without Ryan, he'll be sorely missed.

My thoughts and deepest condolences go out to Ryan's family, his wife, and the GB crew, hang in there fellas.
 
Yeah, Ryan was openly proud of the Giant Bombcast and his ability to get it up every Tuesday without fail. Ending the podcast would be the opposite of what Ryan would have wanted.
 
Capture.JPG


Watching this is making me feel pretty good.
 
ThanksRyan stream ended. Kinda quiet now.

Well fuck. We all just lost out on a lot of laughs and good times.What a shitty day.

RIP

You all stay safe out there.
 
I know this isn't helping me but I just can't do anything except center around watching and listening to giantbomb stuff today.
 
When I saw this in my news feed, put so bluntly, I literally could not believe it for a good few minutes. The first time I can remember doing a visible double-take and looking at my phone with my jaw hung open for a good thirty seconds. I still find this hard to believe.

I met Ryan at PAX Prime a few years ago, and I couldn't believe how jovial and full of energy and life he was given his physicality. RIP Ryan. You will be missed.
 
Wait I just entered this thread, holy fucking shit is this for real, I don't mean to ruin the mood.
Is Ryan dead!? ;( I can't believe this, today has already been so fucking terrible with me getting robbed and now this... I just can't...;(
EDIT: Jesus Christ it's true :( :( :(
 
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