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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
- Start date
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Omegasquash
Member
Not cliche at all, and highly recommended. In addition to the physical benefits you'll be feeling better about yourself for making progress, which in turn also makes you more attractive.
I forgot to mention that I hadn't been going to a gym because I usually just did my own workouts at home (I usually just run, but I have also done programs like Insanity). I prefer those kind of workouts, but figured I'd do something different for a bit (maybe more weight training/muscle building, though I don't want to go too crazy with that).
Just like the idea of trying some different work outs and maybe meeting new people I could hang out with. I'm also going as a group with my sister and her fiance (they've been wanting to join a gym to get in better shape, and I figured we could all go together), so there's that too.
Probably shouldn't be trying out my pick-up lines with my sister right behind me though...
Just like the idea of trying some different work outs and maybe meeting new people I could hang out with. I'm also going as a group with my sister and her fiance (they've been wanting to join a gym to get in better shape, and I figured we could all go together), so there's that too.
Probably shouldn't be trying out my pick-up lines with my sister right behind me though...
Before I started to work out again, I always worried about the amount of food I was eating and my overall lack of activity. Now that I work out by running and lifting four-to-five days a week, those thoughts are gone (I actually eat more now. I'm 6'1, and my goal is to hit 160), and I feel overall awesome, particularly when I beat down a fitness milestone in either running or lifting.
NeOak
Member
Let me guess; Did she hug you?
More like, a bomb went off and I was on the other side of the planet.
Minamu
Touched by a Goddess
(Today, 12:54 PM)
I can't very well have two tags, can I?
I always thought "Dating a Maiden" with a link here would've been cute.xXBetter Off DadXx
Member
Hahahaha, love it.
So I went back on what I said in my last post and texted her earlier today. I told her my schedule had filled up and that we could shoot for meeting up next week instead.
She just texted me back, "Yes please!"
Oi, I feel like this is turning into work, and it ideally shouldn't feel that way.
Make one last suggestion, something specific, and let her decide. Then either go with it or back off if she doesn't get it. It should never feel like work.
Hi gaf, I need a little advice!
Tomorrow a friend is coming into town to visit for a while, she's moving further down the state and I'm on the way. We've been friends for a while, met in high school, she moved, we chatted on aim for years so I feel like I know her well enough to play my cards right, just looking for a bit of outside opinion.
We met up last year for spring break of college, went to a few parties, had really good sex for a few nights in a row, then classes started and we went to our different colleges. To be honest I havent had sex since those last few times with her, its been over a year, and I feel like gettin laid.
We're gonna go get thai food tomorrow and then come back to my place and smoke a little bit. Thing is I'm getting super mixed signals from her. She broke up with her boyfriend of a year a few weeks ago and he was an asshole. Beat her up, she went to a domestic violence house and stuff for it. Bruised her up pretty good. We message a bit on facebook and its semi flirty. But then she says stuff like "I want to want to be celibate for like... a year lol" to which I ask if the double 'want to' was a typo or intentional. She says it wasn't a mistake, leaves me a bit confused.
We chat one time about some girl hitting her up on facebook that she hadn't seen in four or five years and I jokingly tell her the girl probably wants to bang. She responds "is that why we're talking, because you want to smash! Is that what life is all about!" I respond she's gone full crazy, I wouldn't spend my time chatting for just something so base, but I do think sex makes the world go round. I sent her a text a few weeks ago and got no reply but she messaged me on FB later that night. A couple days later she said "can you text me I lost my phone" which was an obvious ploy to get me to text her. She has a smartphone that pings with facebook messages.
TLDR:
Is there any advice you guys would have for meeting up with a friend that you've had chemistry/great sex before that has recently broken up with a shitty boyfriend and is visiting for a day? I'm gonna make sure to try to engage physically in convo but nothing too forward. I'm thinking about playing it cool especially because of the previous history with her ex though.
Tomorrow a friend is coming into town to visit for a while, she's moving further down the state and I'm on the way. We've been friends for a while, met in high school, she moved, we chatted on aim for years so I feel like I know her well enough to play my cards right, just looking for a bit of outside opinion.
We met up last year for spring break of college, went to a few parties, had really good sex for a few nights in a row, then classes started and we went to our different colleges. To be honest I havent had sex since those last few times with her, its been over a year, and I feel like gettin laid.
We're gonna go get thai food tomorrow and then come back to my place and smoke a little bit. Thing is I'm getting super mixed signals from her. She broke up with her boyfriend of a year a few weeks ago and he was an asshole. Beat her up, she went to a domestic violence house and stuff for it. Bruised her up pretty good. We message a bit on facebook and its semi flirty. But then she says stuff like "I want to want to be celibate for like... a year lol" to which I ask if the double 'want to' was a typo or intentional. She says it wasn't a mistake, leaves me a bit confused.
We chat one time about some girl hitting her up on facebook that she hadn't seen in four or five years and I jokingly tell her the girl probably wants to bang. She responds "is that why we're talking, because you want to smash! Is that what life is all about!" I respond she's gone full crazy, I wouldn't spend my time chatting for just something so base, but I do think sex makes the world go round. I sent her a text a few weeks ago and got no reply but she messaged me on FB later that night. A couple days later she said "can you text me I lost my phone" which was an obvious ploy to get me to text her. She has a smartphone that pings with facebook messages.
TLDR:
Is there any advice you guys would have for meeting up with a friend that you've had chemistry/great sex before that has recently broken up with a shitty boyfriend and is visiting for a day? I'm gonna make sure to try to engage physically in convo but nothing too forward. I'm thinking about playing it cool especially because of the previous history with her ex though.
xXBetter Off DadXx
Member
Oh, I should have noted that I already did that in the message; the idea was to watch the movie we were originally going to watch earlier this week. That's what she specifically responded to.
Rand0m TAG
Member
quick advice.
me and my girl had a mutual breakup. we both live far apart and have a pretty busy life. we really like each other but figured that we were just wasting each others time.
she proposed that we still remain friends and i said i would think about it.
you think its a good idea? i mean i really like her but i think it would be highly doubtful that we can make anything serious out of it.
me and my girl had a mutual breakup. we both live far apart and have a pretty busy life. we really like each other but figured that we were just wasting each others time.
she proposed that we still remain friends and i said i would think about it.
you think its a good idea? i mean i really like her but i think it would be highly doubtful that we can make anything serious out of it.
NeOak
Member
Oh I see. Well if you haven't, specify a day and see what happens. Maybe one or two options.
I assume this is a serious breakup and new people will enter each other's lives? Would you be handle seeing her with a new boyfriend? Down the road you might, though a week from now maybe not. It'll be difficult to handle if there are lingering feelings of course. Remaining friends straight after the breakup rarely works unless all feelings are dead and you know something platonic could work. I'd wait a while and see what happens. Don't fool yourself though, this is a tough spot.
Rand0m TAG
Member
i meant stay friends. ive come to accept that me and her would probably never happen. was more of a crush than anything practical.
i see what you mean. i still kind of like her. i miss talking to her actually. ive had real breakups were i hated the person. with her, i still feel like we can be friends. i think the breakup was more of us just figuring that the relationship wouldnt really go anywhere than us not liking each other. we are both mid 20s and figured that we shouldnt really be wasting our time if nothing serious may ever come out of it.
Same deal somewhat. My parents aren't pushing me but my friends and colleges around me all have had relations or have a girlfriend/friend. It's not like I need one but lately I'm asking myself the same questions. I've been a single my entire life so far.
As to being anti social somewhat, I hardly go out much. I even neglected my real life friends lately so my living pattern have been the same for the last 2 months. My way of meeting girls is through work I guess...
I do however like a certain girl at my work. She is older then me (I'm 23, she is 27). We chat from time to time during breaks but I try to keep it to a certain degree because in the end I'm still working at my work and for some reason I'm afraid of her figuring it out that I like her.
However, I tend to guess she knows it somewhat and has had some kind of interest in me too based how she acts to me. Maybe just as friendship, I don't know? I've had this before and asked the girl (also someone from work) out for a date (biggest accomplishment ever for me as I've never dated nor had a girlfriend before) but sadly she eventually said a no to the date and didn't liked me as in love but more as of friends. Sad moment for me and I felt shit.
So lately I've been trying to see this new girl a lot more. She doesn't go out much either but we have had some interests in common. She is more of a creative person and I'm more of a computer/tech guy. She even asked me to come along to learn drawing as she is active at a drawing meeting every Monday evening (wanted to learn drawing for 2D/3D modeling for games and told her, she then asked if I wanted to come with her). Also for some reason biking from work to home together. I got car but I try to go with my bike so I can cycle home with her.
Might be stupid ways to see her more but I'm indirectly afraid of being declined again (I guess?) and I've had not much success in this haha. At the same I could just ask her out but something is just preventing this arghh...
xXBetter Off DadXx
Member
Through our limited experiences with one another, she seems to have already made it clear that she doesn't like making choices, so I'm going to just pick one day and see if that works for her.
Well, she recently broke up. Sounds like she's looking for a distraction and some attention, but she's not entirely sure what she wants. Given her background I wouldn't push it too hard myself, but if she wants sex when she's over there, it probably won't hurt to play along.
The bolded is really counterproductive. So you might want to go out with her, for which you have to like her, but you don't want her to find out you like her? Do you know why you feel like this? Is it fear of rejection? Something else?
I used to feel the same way a while back. That it was a weird thing to ask someone out. That I should be ashamed of liking someone. Must have had something to do with a bunch of friends of mine who'd act very immature when I was just talking normally to a girl, let alone flirting.
But if you look at it logically, all the generations before us have asked someone out on a date, started liking someone. There's zilch about it to be ashamed of. Such a weird thing when you think about it.
If it's about fear of rejection: just make sure to get rejected at least ten more times, then the eleventh won't feel like such a big deal
And the twelfth might say yes, and end up being the love of your life. So if this is the second girl who might reject you, you're well on your way to the twelfth. Or perhaps she won't reject you, and is pretty cool. I'd just take her up on her offer to go to the drawing night. Enjoy Universaldamps
Neo Member
Like many in this thread, I just feel like I want to share my situation with other people. Not exactly seeking advice, but any input is welcome all the same.
Currently I'm in a long distance relationship with a Japanese girl, I'm 24 and she's 28. She obviously lives in Japan, whilst I'm Australian and living in Australia for the time being. We've been dating for about 7 months now, and I've just got back from a 3 month stint in Japan living with her in her apartment. Coming home and being completely alone after seeing and living with my girlfriend for 3 months is really hard. Saying goodbye at the airport was very difficult. We've been Skyping nightly, she's going to come here soon.
We've discussed our future and even openly talked about marriage. Obviously it's a bit soon for that, but we really get along well. The plan is for me to move there, though my prospects for jobs are fairly limited until I get a degree most likely.
I've yet to meet her parents, and quite frankly it's pretty daunting. Her father is a doctor, runs a dermatology practice and both of her brothers are studying medicine. She's grown accustom to living a privileged life, having studied English in New York for a couple of years which was funded by her folks. Her apartment in Tokyo is payed for by her father. I don't have a University degree and from the vibes I get, I don't think that will resonate well with her parents. Her mother has apparently said "Find someone who's rich!" when giving advice for relationships. Obviously my girlfriend is fully aware I'm not some rich playboy, I don't have an amazing job and is completely fine with it.
Anyway, I guess that's the end of my little rant. I'd be interested to hear peoples thoughts.
Currently I'm in a long distance relationship with a Japanese girl, I'm 24 and she's 28. She obviously lives in Japan, whilst I'm Australian and living in Australia for the time being. We've been dating for about 7 months now, and I've just got back from a 3 month stint in Japan living with her in her apartment. Coming home and being completely alone after seeing and living with my girlfriend for 3 months is really hard. Saying goodbye at the airport was very difficult. We've been Skyping nightly, she's going to come here soon.
We've discussed our future and even openly talked about marriage. Obviously it's a bit soon for that, but we really get along well. The plan is for me to move there, though my prospects for jobs are fairly limited until I get a degree most likely.
I've yet to meet her parents, and quite frankly it's pretty daunting. Her father is a doctor, runs a dermatology practice and both of her brothers are studying medicine. She's grown accustom to living a privileged life, having studied English in New York for a couple of years which was funded by her folks. Her apartment in Tokyo is payed for by her father. I don't have a University degree and from the vibes I get, I don't think that will resonate well with her parents. Her mother has apparently said "Find someone who's rich!" when giving advice for relationships. Obviously my girlfriend is fully aware I'm not some rich playboy, I don't have an amazing job and is completely fine with it.
Anyway, I guess that's the end of my little rant. I'd be interested to hear peoples thoughts.
Well, she recently broke up. Sounds like she's looking for a distraction and some attention, but she's not entirely sure what she wants. Given her background I wouldn't push it too hard myself, but if she wants sex when she's over there, it probably won't hurt to play along.
The bolded is really counterproductive. So you might want to go out with her, for which you have to like her, but you don't want her to find out you like her? Do you know why you feel like this? Is it fear of rejection? Something else?
I used to feel the same way a while back. That it was a weird thing to ask someone out. That I should be ashamed of liking someone. Must have had something to do with a bunch of friends of mine who'd act very immature when I was just talking normally to a girl, let alone flirting.
But if you look at it logically, all the generations before us have asked someone out on a date, started liking someone. There's zilch about it to be ashamed of. Such a weird thing when you think about it.
If it's about fear of rejection: just make sure to get rejected at least ten more times, then the eleventh won't feel like such a big deal
I guess it's that I still have to face her if she rejects as me we both work at the same company. Somewhere it's the fear of getting rejected again. The drawing night thing isn't a big thing; I have no fear of doing that with her and coming along. I even saw it as chance to see her more and to know her better.
It's more like confronting her with the words "I like you more as a colleague so far" followed by a date request to know her better and see if she is the one. Overall it's rejection fear.
I had to work today and she was there too. Some of my other colleagues found out I liked her. She has been my crush since I started working at the company and one of my colleagues just knew it somehow and told the others. I've slipped my tongue before on that I liked someone. Colleagues were pretty cool about it and pretty much said the same thing. Just ask her out! Age difference is weird as she is older then me though. I think I'll message her over Facebook (don't got her number yet) to see of I could come along for the drawing night this Monday or next Monday and maybe tell her afterwards and ask her.
Only problem with the drawing night is that due it being holiday here, those meetings aren't guided by a teacher at the moment so you have to do your own drawing, fill in the time et cetera. As I'm not a great artist I might just get stuck there not knowing what to do apart from looking at her as she uses those meetings really efficiency for her drawings / paintings.
Dude, who cares if you aren't a great artist? Just draw whatever is in front of you. That's what drawing nights are about having been to a few myself. You're not trying to impress anyone. It's more for yourself. She can give you pointers if anything. If she doesn't like you beyond a professional/platonic relationship, then so be it. You can always make conversation with other folks.
Asking her out: Yes. Telling her you like her: Nope. Nope nope nope. In writing there's an old saying: Show, don't tell. The same goes for dating. Asking her to go out with you is already saying: "I might see you as more than a colleageu." If she agrees, that's her indication she might feel the same way. And that way you can avoid the whole awkward: "I like you." part.
So, ask her about the drawing on facebook. Or better yet, in real life. See how the atmosphere is that night. If the two of you are having fun together, wait untill the end of the evening and say something like: This was fun, perhaps you can give me some more pointers over a glass of beer? That should constitute as a date. If that goes well: Profit!
I was coming here for a bit of advice and this is kind of what I needed.
I had a very nice date with a girl last Friday, but as always, I overthink things, I'm impatient, so I start talking with her on facebook the next day, maybe overstating some things from Friday but it's a nice conversation. Until she says, 'I got to go, have a nice weekend!'. Like she doesn't want or expects any other texting or chatting today and yesterday. And now there's this uncertainty because on the one hand, our date reached a level of talk and subjects that transcended the friend-zone and on the other hand she doesn't seem to want/need a lot of contact. So I didn't send anything anymore. Good choice? I also have to go to Malta with her in 6 days. So I don't wanna drive it too far. But if it doesn't get more clear there, I might tell her how I feel the last night.
So I went out to coffee yesterday with a girl I met online. It went well and she expressed interest in getting together again, but this is the first time I've gone out with a girl that wasn't already a friend of mine so I'm not sure about what to do next. Is there any particular activity that's good for a second date? I don't know if dinner is a good idea or if I should stick to something more casual like mini-golf and save dinner for another time. I know this has probably been discussed a hundred times over the course of 4 dating-age threads but these threads are so massive.
Both planned dates cancelled this weekend. First girl forgot and left me waiting before I got bored, second girl sent me a long, emotional text saying she wasnt ready for a relationship and needed to focus on work - fair enough but it was a surprising amount of investment on her part given I only spoke to her for 3-4 minutes. Giving up on the first girl, Ill put the second girl on the back-burner and switch my focus to others. Texted two girls but they didnt respond so Im guessing they are dead/cold leads for now.
Back to square one lol
Back to square one lol
obin_gam
Member
I have fallen completely head over heals for this girls. But I dont know if I should confess it to her or not because she will move a couple of miles south, and I will get a job 65 miles north from here. We have spent time together this summer flirting and doing stuff, but now when the jobs starts again next week will wont have any time to spend together so there is a risk of making our separation feel worse if I tell her how I feel.
goddamnit
goddamnit
Ghost_Protocol
Member
General question:
Anyone else have days where you just wake up feeling like a badass for no reason at all? Super confident, dress well, go through the day feeling awesome, zero anxiety or nervousness, very social and easygoing, get lots of looks and smiles from strangers (as a result of you projecting so much energy) and then the next day completely lose all of that feeling entirely and go back to just feeling normal?
This happens to me sporadically every couple of days or so and I have no fucking idea why. Just curious if anyone else has these mysterious surges of positive energy that just vanish overnight.....
Anyone else have days where you just wake up feeling like a badass for no reason at all? Super confident, dress well, go through the day feeling awesome, zero anxiety or nervousness, very social and easygoing, get lots of looks and smiles from strangers (as a result of you projecting so much energy) and then the next day completely lose all of that feeling entirely and go back to just feeling normal?
This happens to me sporadically every couple of days or so and I have no fucking idea why. Just curious if anyone else has these mysterious surges of positive energy that just vanish overnight.....
xXBetter Off DadXx
Member
Keep on keepin' on man.
I've definitely experienced this before.....it's like when I get up all of a sudden my veil of anxiety and insecurities has been lifted and I get that, "just don't give a fuck" attitude towards petty/unimportant things. But yeah, then just as quickly some times it fades. I've found in general that using those times when I do get that sort of surge of positivity/confidence, it's best to utilize it to the fullest extent; try and do things that will help you maintain some of that same feeling once that seemingly unexplained "surge" wears off. Aka use that time to work on yourself in as many ways as possible!
yup, smart.
'don't give a fuck' has become my mantra. i'm trying to enjoy the process of meeting new people but the ups and downs of some of the girls I've dated is mind boggling.
RedNalgene
Member
I like a more "active" date early on. She's probably been on dozens of "dinner dates" so if you want to stand out, take a risk on the date, don't do the plain vanilla idea. Mini golf sounds great. Bowling. The beach (if you're close to one). Bike riding. Do you have a rock climbing gym near you? I see people on dates at my gym all the time, and they seem to go really well. Museums if you're into that kind of thing. Cooking class? Depends on what there is to do where you live, but there are likely tons of date ideas near you. Keep in mind that if you do something more "active" you can always go to dinner or just grab a quick bite to eat afterward. I also think that if you do an activity rather than something like "dinner and a movie" it's easier for the conversation to flow, but that's just me.
Ye this is very familiar to me.
I think you can cultivate this feeling by changing your micro and macro behaviour. Macro stuff: Start going to the gym, taking care of your diet and your body, do fruitful things in your spare time, (get off GAF), meet friends, spend time with family etc. Micro things: In the morning have a friendly chat with the Starbucks barista, say hi to everyone as you come into the office, chat with your roommate over breakfast etc. This helps build some momentum each day and gets you into a better headspace. By the afternoon you'll feel awesome.
xXBetter Off DadXx
Member
The key I think is you gotta give enough fucks to not give a fuck, while simultaneously still giving fucks about what's really important to you, i.e. what should be really the most important thing to you, that is, working on you as a person.
I need to vent, and try to make sense of this.
A couple weeks ago I posted about how my gf flirted with another guy at a bar and he kissed her. Many of you said I should break it of with her but I wanted to forgive her. Her flirting with another guy isn't the end of the world if it's a one time deal. Plus I live with her and will be stuck here a couple more weeks, so breaking up with her would have made my life miserable.
Anyways, the last 2 weeks she goes out with her friends basically every single night. She never wants me to go, because she says her friends would be jealous that she's the only one with a boyfriend. Also one of them is going through a bad break-up and doesn't want to be around men. Obviously bullshit - why are they going to a bar if they don't want to be around men. Now I'm 95% sure that my gf is not flirting with guys anymore, simply because she's always been very honest when shes done something wrong, and I can usually see how upset she is before she tells me. But still, I'm getting pretty lonely having to be alone every single night for 2 straight weeks, and a little hurt that she never wants me there. Whenever I expressed that to her she just jokingly told me to stop being needy.
Anyways, finally she said that she would spend the whole day with me yesterday. But then her cousin that she hasn't seen in 5 years calls and wants to hang out with her. She says okay, and once again doesn't want me to come with her. So I say fine, we'll just have our day tomorrow. She leaves , and comes back very late and very drunk. She says her cousin never came, so she just went to the bar instead. I'm pretty hurt considering I have basically been begging to have time with her the last 2 weeks, and she just goes off to the bar by herself. I tell her how I feel, and out of nowhere she says "You know what if you have a problem with me just leave me." I'm thinking that she's just really drunk, so I tell her we should wait til tomorrow to talk about it.
She then says she's pissed off at me, because a year ago when we started dating, it took me longer than her to say that I loved her (by a month or so). Also when we first started dating I was thinking about breaking up with her simply because I was so busy at the time. So evidently she never forgave me for those things. Then she tells me that she's sick of men in general (this is partly because for some reason her friends always go to very seedy bars with shitty guys, so she's been exposed to them every night), and doesn't care about our relationship anymore. Then she pulls me in to her face, looks me dead in the eyes and says "There is nothing I want more in the world than to be dead."
Then she tells me to not come near her and she runs away. I try to run after her because I'm afraid of what she'll do be she yells at me to stay away. At this point I decide that I can't handle the situation by myself, so I call her best friend to come help. Her friend gets here and they go on a drive together and eventually she calms down a little bit. I'm sitting at home pretty hysterical. When they get back her friend tries to talk to us. My gf is really pissed at me for bringing someone else into the situation, saying she can never trust me again. She also says that once I move out (which we had been planning since before I moved it), she will want to be alone and not be in a relationship with me any more.
It is very very late by this point and eventually we just fall asleep. She's still in bed right now, though she wakes up occasionally and just talks to me cheerily like nothing ever happened. She even asked me "Why do you look sad?" Maybe she was so drunk that she blacked out. Anyways I'll wait til she's fully awake before I bring it all up again.
I know I deserve better than this. But I still love her. I still want to be with her so badly. I'm insane, right? Ugh, I just do not know what to do. I've worked so hard to make the relationship work, and it's almost like she scoffs at my attempts to do so.
A couple weeks ago I posted about how my gf flirted with another guy at a bar and he kissed her. Many of you said I should break it of with her but I wanted to forgive her. Her flirting with another guy isn't the end of the world if it's a one time deal. Plus I live with her and will be stuck here a couple more weeks, so breaking up with her would have made my life miserable.
Anyways, the last 2 weeks she goes out with her friends basically every single night. She never wants me to go, because she says her friends would be jealous that she's the only one with a boyfriend. Also one of them is going through a bad break-up and doesn't want to be around men. Obviously bullshit - why are they going to a bar if they don't want to be around men. Now I'm 95% sure that my gf is not flirting with guys anymore, simply because she's always been very honest when shes done something wrong, and I can usually see how upset she is before she tells me. But still, I'm getting pretty lonely having to be alone every single night for 2 straight weeks, and a little hurt that she never wants me there. Whenever I expressed that to her she just jokingly told me to stop being needy.
Anyways, finally she said that she would spend the whole day with me yesterday. But then her cousin that she hasn't seen in 5 years calls and wants to hang out with her. She says okay, and once again doesn't want me to come with her. So I say fine, we'll just have our day tomorrow. She leaves , and comes back very late and very drunk. She says her cousin never came, so she just went to the bar instead. I'm pretty hurt considering I have basically been begging to have time with her the last 2 weeks, and she just goes off to the bar by herself. I tell her how I feel, and out of nowhere she says "You know what if you have a problem with me just leave me." I'm thinking that she's just really drunk, so I tell her we should wait til tomorrow to talk about it.
She then says she's pissed off at me, because a year ago when we started dating, it took me longer than her to say that I loved her (by a month or so). Also when we first started dating I was thinking about breaking up with her simply because I was so busy at the time. So evidently she never forgave me for those things. Then she tells me that she's sick of men in general (this is partly because for some reason her friends always go to very seedy bars with shitty guys, so she's been exposed to them every night), and doesn't care about our relationship anymore. Then she pulls me in to her face, looks me dead in the eyes and says "There is nothing I want more in the world than to be dead."
Then she tells me to not come near her and she runs away. I try to run after her because I'm afraid of what she'll do be she yells at me to stay away. At this point I decide that I can't handle the situation by myself, so I call her best friend to come help. Her friend gets here and they go on a drive together and eventually she calms down a little bit. I'm sitting at home pretty hysterical. When they get back her friend tries to talk to us. My gf is really pissed at me for bringing someone else into the situation, saying she can never trust me again. She also says that once I move out (which we had been planning since before I moved it), she will want to be alone and not be in a relationship with me any more.
It is very very late by this point and eventually we just fall asleep. She's still in bed right now, though she wakes up occasionally and just talks to me cheerily like nothing ever happened. She even asked me "Why do you look sad?" Maybe she was so drunk that she blacked out. Anyways I'll wait til she's fully awake before I bring it all up again.
I know I deserve better than this. But I still love her. I still want to be with her so badly. I'm insane, right? Ugh, I just do not know what to do. I've worked so hard to make the relationship work, and it's almost like she scoffs at my attempts to do so.
stn
Member
Sometimes I think I'm some bitter old fuck when I constantly tell people on here to move on. Then I realize its not true and that my advice has merit. And I've yet to be convinced of otherwise. And I would love to be proven wrong, would give me a much lighter insight.
So, Servbot. Get the fuck out of there. That's it. Stop trying to make it work. Stop thinking you're going to love her forever and that she'll avoid flirting with guys 95% of the time (according to you). She has issues. You don't need her issues. See this as a character builder and move on.
You only think you'll never love another girl and all that crap because you're stuck with her. I mean, how many billion women are there on Earth? Give yourself a chance and end it. You deserve better.
So, Servbot. Get the fuck out of there. That's it. Stop trying to make it work. Stop thinking you're going to love her forever and that she'll avoid flirting with guys 95% of the time (according to you). She has issues. You don't need her issues. See this as a character builder and move on.
You only think you'll never love another girl and all that crap because you're stuck with her. I mean, how many billion women are there on Earth? Give yourself a chance and end it. You deserve better.
Talked to her briefly and she is extremely upset that I called her friend. She says she won't be able to trust me again for a long time. I thought I was doing the right thing
This is really hard to say because its over the internet and all but is it possible that she is suffering from depression? Sounds like she has some pretty strange swings in behaviour.
Also try to have some more certainty and confidence in yourself. I think in that situation calling up a friend to help is the right thing. If a friend ever said to me "There is nothing I want more in the world than to be dead" and then ran away Id contact all her friends and family asap.
Talked to her briefly and she is extremely upset that I called her friend. She says she won't be able to trust me again for a long time. I thought I was doing the right thing
By the look of it your girlfriend seems to have some serious issues. But i also get the impression she does not really want to be with you anymore but doesnt want to breakup either. Also going out every night by herself to bars? And you cant come?
I dont know man .. sorry.
Alright, me and my ex-gf who I broke up with last week I think (?) actually came back together yesterday, where I made pancakes, had some redwine, roses and candles but apparently she forgets quickly and gets moody again this night over NOTHING.
On the spot (10 minutes ago), I decided that this is it, she's crazy and will never stop creating drama. I told her straight out, to get out of my house, bring your stuff with you and never come back. I also said that I know that I deserve better and I am 100% definitely done with this shit she brings to me.
Now it is time to concentrate on my education a 100%.
I DESERVE BETTER and I DO feel better. I feel good, because I have made that choice of never seeing her again because I am more than convinced it won't work out.
On the spot (10 minutes ago), I decided that this is it, she's crazy and will never stop creating drama. I told her straight out, to get out of my house, bring your stuff with you and never come back. I also said that I know that I deserve better and I am 100% definitely done with this shit she brings to me.
Now it is time to concentrate on my education a 100%.
I DESERVE BETTER and I DO feel better. I feel good, because I have made that choice of never seeing her again because I am more than convinced it won't work out.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
You sir, are a badass.
Vermillion
Banned
Nope. My mood is based on a variety of factors.
Yes, she is has been very depressed lately. Especially since the guy at the bar kissed her and she found out that he had a gf, and his friends had just put him up to it.
Damn, well I guess she'll have to look elsewhere for love.
HalfBakedProphet
Member
she needed an out to end the relationship (something you should have fucking done forever ago, all the warning signs were there) and this stupid bullshit about you involving the friend and how that specifically broke the trust between you is the decoy. That's it. it's a waste of time and emotional energy to stew over.Talked to her briefly and she is extremely upset that I called her friend. She says she won't be able to trust me again for a long time. I thought I was doing the right thing
The reality is this : it's has been over for a while now. She wants out but isn't mature or honest enough with herself to be straight with you (she has issues, man). It's time to move on and grow from whatever mistakes you made. The end.
And boom goes the dynamite
10/10
To be fair she's had a pretty fucking awful life. Rejected by her dad, beaten by her brother, mom died when she was 13, sexually abused by several men, etc. She's very sensitive to being made to feel like an object, so I see why she might be upset that some guys at the bar treated her like she was something to toy with.
But damn does it hurt to feel like she cares more about them than me, the guy who has been there for her and loved her the entire last year. When I bring up the way I feel with her she accuses me of being selfish for putting my feelings ahead of hers.
The truth is I am probably just not equipped to handle this sort of relationship. I'm just your average guy and this is my first relationship.
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