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[Bagels]

Please excuse my Praxiness as I try to respond to a bunch of different posts.

So...White Man, thanks so much for sharing all of that. Our new mandate to be the mental health community instead of just covering depression, has mainly meant we've had people talk about anxiety disorders. I don't think we've ever had someone describe an episode anything like that.I'm not sure I have anything to say beyond thanks, and I hope you find the right combo of meds to keep yourself on an even keel.

shanshan310 - you're definitely welcome here! This is a place for the discussion of mental health issue in the broadest possible sense. That feeling of not being entitled to your sadness and grief is certainly not unusual (it comes up very often in here, in fact), but it's something you have to get past. If it's causing you this much distress, it's real and it's important to deal with. You can certainly post here, make use of the contacts in the OP, come to chat, but it would probably help to get some professional help, too. It's a very, very hard thing to deal with. It makes a ton of sense to talk about it a bit with a therapist.

Hylian7 - MooMoo has some solid advice, although I'm not crazy about being described as the "local drug lord" (it makes me think of those Daily Show segments where someone is identified as "Senior Child Molestation Expert" ). I do know a decent amount about psych meds, if you want to discuss them. You'll find plenty of people here (myself included) who have found meds that really help. Whatever happened to your ex-gf won't necessarily happen to you.

Jtwo - It's hard to say, but the big risk with suicidal urges is when you START a medication. It would be unusual for the meds to do something wacky 6 months in. I hope the appointment helped sort that out.

jb1234 - really hoping there are some new ideas at the appointment. For people who don't know jb very well, he's a regular in our text and voice chats and he's...Wait. Nope. Every time I say something nice about him, he finds a way to use it to make fun of me. Not happening again.

Super secret special surprise in the works for the community. Hopefully that'll be ready early next week. And I'll repost the stuff for chat below.

 

[Bagels]

We'd like to get back to doing some scheduled weekly IRC chats. As of now, if you jump in to the channel, there will be people in there, but the discussion is generally pretty silly. So it may seem hard to bring up a serious issue (serious discussion and questions always trumps the silliness, though!). It might help to have times every week set aside for discussion of actual mental health issues. We'd also love to see more people come to the IRC channel!

We can work on the day and time to fit more people, but we thought we'd start this Thursday.

(times bumped back to better accommodate Europeans)

2PM PST
4PM CST
5PM EST
2200 GMT

The topic is social anxiety/anxiety disorders. Come to ask questions, share your stories, or just to hang out and meet cool people. We'll see how it goes. We can move the timing around based on feedback from the community. If people like doing these, the next step would be to add a time for discussion of depression.

Chat is still always around and there are always people in there!

We've had some new faces in chat! Welcome!

 

[Wilsongt]

Another day, more sadness and loneliness. Going to sleep last night was rough.

 

[ReiGun]

I'm getting really sick of everyone getting on my case for spending a lot time in the house. 1. People don't even invite me anywhere 90-99% of the time. 2. I'm not working right now, so thanks for reminding me that I'm broke and can't go anywhere even if I want to.

The second point really stings because it's like, what the hell do you want me to do? Until I find work, my hands are tied and I'm pretty limited in what I can do. But as always, no one ever wants to see things from my perspective. I'm just an awful fucking person who rejects everyone.

So sick of people getting on my case for just being who I am. I don't even know why I bother with people sometimes. No matter what I do, someone is going to try and find fault with it. And then people wonder why I'd rather be by myself.

 

[AcridMeat]

Hylian7 - I graduated last year and went (well, still going) through the same thing job wise as you. I kept applying online and not hearing back, I'd be so discouraged that I wouldn't look or apply for weeks at a time. Eventually, because I set a goal to travel this year, I had to settle for a seasonal retail position.

I have the same thoughts, that I'm not smart and there are better people than me, I still struggle with this thought outside of the job search daily. What I can say is from going through the same thing, just try not to over think things. Send in the application regardless if you feel qualified or not. Unfortunately the path is difficult and for me I'm running from that reality by traveling because it made me feel so depressed.

Go to Austin. Even if it doesn't work out you and others can see that you're committed to getting hired by going out there.

As for me... I spend time alone in my room when at home, but always talk to people in some form, on chats or forums or playing games or something. It's when that stops, when I'm truly alone, that my brain starts to work against me. Things that aren't reality but are recurring thoughts that then hit me in a way that I emotionally believe it, because there's no one else there to tell me it's not.

Again when I talk to people, I feel better, content with life, but it always seems to come back around. This is something

Spoiler

that stems from my mother's death when I was 8, I'm convinced. I'm not sure I'm comfortable enough, knowing a lot of people on gaf, to reveal it here, but maybe in chat I can explain why I think that is.

ReiGun I'm in the same situation I wish we could hang out, play games and talk.

 

[ClassyPenguin]

Hi guys, I'm not really sure where to post this or whether to post this at all but I just don't know who I can talk to. I lost my uncle to suicide about a year ago and it's becoming more and more apparent that I am not coping well at all. As it turns out repression isn't a great strategy long term. I don't want to bring my friends down by discussing it but I feel weird talking to my family about it too (they didn't want to go into detail with me about it), and since much of my family was affected more than I was (his wife and kids mostly, but also my parents) and knew him better I don't feel like I'm entitled to be too sad at all. But whenever people talk about suicide or see advertisements or anything I start getting dizzy like to pass out. I'm worried that this final memory has tainted my time spent with someone I always looked up to as happy-go-lucky and living the dream. I'm sorry if this is the wrong place or if this is only meant to be for people dealing with depression.

You are most surely welcome here. Suicide is still one of those taboos that people just cannot seem to talk about in a serious manner. I get so frustrated at OT suicide threads because it's mostly going to be filled with myths and judgmental shit.

I remember reading your story about your uncle and I can imagine how hard it is. My perspective is coming from the other side though, as I have tried to commit suicide by overdose and it's even hard to talk about let alone make sense of the reasoning behind it. It was one of the hardest things to talk to my parents about as I sure as hell didn't want to hurt them and my family, but knowing that if I had succeeded I most certainly would have.

It certainly helps to talk with a therapist about it and holding back or repressing or pretending is always a bad idea, especially when it affects you that much.

do u wanna fuckin fight

 

[Colin.]

I wont quote all the replies, as that would just take up too much space. But thanks everyone for the encouraging and sympathizing words. I usually just vent my frustrations here at the time and don't expect anything to come from it. But coming back to see that was touching. If you feel hesitant about replying to a certain scenario here, don't be. Just knowing you're not alone with certain feelings can make all the difference to someone, like that did for me.

This is actually the case for me. Lots of times it takes me so long to process what I want to say, or what I should say that the conversation moves away from that topic so I drop it, or think too much about it and confuse myself and say nothing again. Not a bad thing for me, since I rarely have anything to add to conversations. I've accepted that I'll pretty much always be "the quiet guy"

This is probably the closest to how I feel. Takes me longer to process the whole social scenario. I could have something in mind to say quickly, but sometimes I will have to process that first to make sure it is the right thing to say. If I don't do that, there is a fair chance I will just come off as incoherent or strange, like what happened last night. It's more difficult in a group scenario I find. As the pace of the conversation is usually faster, and usually doesn't end up being one person talking at a time, so I find that more difficult to accurately process. And half the time if I think of something to reply with, someone will beat me to it with something better. The timing of when exactly to talk is a pain too.

 

[XenoRaven]

Just had a doctor prescribe Welbutrin for my depression. This is the first time I'll have ever taken medication like this before. Anyone have experience with it?

 

[ClassyPenguin]

Just had a doctor prescribe Welbutrin for my depression. This is the first time I'll have ever taken medication like this before. Anyone have experience with it?

One of the drugs with low side-effects and no weight gain.

 

[jb1234]

Just had a doctor prescribe Welbutrin for my depression. This is the first time I'll have ever taken medication like this before. Anyone have experience with it?

It didn't help me much but as Penguin pointed out, the side effects are less. It's especially sparing on the sexual variety.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

It didn't help me much but as Penguin pointed out, the side effects are less. It's especially sparing on the sexual variety.

So, you don't get the libido loss with this?

 

[Hermii]

For me libido loss would be a positive side effect.

 

[DJ Lushious]

So, you don't get the libido loss with this?

Correct. Sometimes it even has the opposite effect, increasing your libido.

 

[chiQ]

I think something is wrong with me. I have no idea what else to do, so I'm going to post here. I'll try to keep this short, but may be a bit rambly so I hit all the important points. Hopefully I don't forget anything.

I graduated college in May with a BS in Computer Science, and am now back in my parents' house for now until I find a job. I've been looking for a job, had only one interview, and have not had much luck. I try to apply for jobs on the internet, but nobody contacts me. I honestly think it is because I am not good enough, and there's long expanses of time (days or weeks) where I don't apply for any jobs because I am nervous about it and don't think I am good enough or smart enough for them. The one job I had the interview for, there was one other applicant, and about a week later, they called me and told me they were "moving on with other applicants." Once again, I'm basically worthless, and this was an entry level job and I wasn't even close to getting in. During the interview, they talked about what the second interview would be like if I were to make it that far, so I knew there was more stages before I would be offered the job.

I don't feel like I am smart enough, and that is crippling me in trying to go for a job.

I'm going to Austin tomorrow (or I guess today technically) for two reasons. I'm going to apply for jobs in person, as well as attend the Dota 2 Pubstomp to watch the International (big Dota 2 tournament for those that don't know what that is). Even though I've booked the hotel already, I'm already thinking about cancelling the trip even though there are cancellation fees, because I just do not think I can apply for jobs with any success and it will just be a waste of time. Nobody wants me because I don't have experience, and I'm not smart enough anyway.

My girlfriend, who loves me very much, is trying to tell me that I am depressed, and I really don't want to be depressed. I want to be normal, I should be normal. I really don't want to take any anti-depressants either, because I saw what it did to my ex-girlfriend, and I don't want to end up like her.

Obviously, since I don't have a job, if I were to go to a doctor, my parents would be footing the bill, and I feel embarrassed talking to them about it at all. I feel like they won't take me seriously. Already I feel like my father hardly takes me seriously ever since I told my parents the truth that I'm an atheist (they are Catholic). There was one time about a year ago, the day after we took my sister to her college. We went out to eat that night, came back home, and my dad and I were the first ones in the door. It was a Saturday night, and my dad tells me that he thinks I should go to church with them the next day. I ask why, and he begins to guilt trip me about my grandmother worrying (my grandfather died about a month before this happened). I ask him how this is different than any other Sunday, where I haven't gone to church with them, and he doesn't give me a straight answer, just saying I should go this time for some reason. We argue about it for a bit, and then as he leaves the room, he says "I know you think you don't believe in any of this stuff, but I used to be just like you, so just keep your ears open. You're going through a phase." He thinks my beliefs are just a bullshit "phase" and that pisses me off to no end.

I went to a psychologist two years ago for a bit, but I didn't feel like it helped. He was the pastor of a church, and I didn't particularly care for him. Part of my issues back then was my at-the-time-girlfriend having difficulty dealing with my beliefs as well as whether I should tell my parents the truth or not.

I'm seriously considering cancelling the trip to Austin, just because I feel like I can't do it.

I'm going to bully you a bit now.

We have a world-wide recession on. It's NOT you! It's the planet. Keep applying. There are more people out there applying for jobs than there are jobs, by a long way. I know seriously competent and experienced people who have had so long without a job they worry that they'll never get one. Don't project the crap state of the economy onto yourself. It would be self-indulgent to do so

I can't help with the religious side of things. I was raised in an atheist house without any expectation either way, but I might be able to advise sensibly regarding the parental side. Why do you object so much to going to church with your dad? I married a Greek, so I was going to a pretty intense church now and then for around 15 years and it didn't hurt a bit...well, aside from boredom. Do you have a moral issue with being in a church as a non-believer, or is it something else? Maybe it doesn't need to be a big deal. He clearly loves you if he feels like you're slipping away and wants to guide you back on the path he considers best. Don't underestimate him, or you may hurt him. Ask for help with this.

Go to Austin.

 

[CornBurrito]

Pretty sure I'm neither bright enough nor motivated enough to pursue a PhD in zoology, and even if I did somehow getting through it employment prospects look terrible.Like what's even the point of living? I won't get an enjoyable job, and if I am not doing a job at all then I'm just sitting and wasting my life away.

 

[jb1234]

So, you don't get the libido loss with this?

Not that I recall. And more importantly, I was able to maintain an erection. Unfortunately, it doesn't really matter if the med didn't help my depression. But our brains are all different.

 

[depths20XX]

So what does one do if they are feeling like they have problems with anxiety?

I've probably been going through it for about 10 years now and I just figured it's how I was but I think I'm just fooling myself and realizing other people don't handle things the way I do.

I've mostly used drinking as a coping mechanism and I usually have a great time when drinking but it's such a roller coaster cycle of feeling great one day then having all this guilt and worrying thoughts/depression the next.

I think my reason for not wanting to seek treatment is hearing all the side effects of these drugs and also I feel like I don't want anyone to know that I'm having these issues. Like it makes me feel less than.

Do you just make a doctors appointment and tell them "Hey, I have really bad anxiety". I feel embarrassed just thinking about doing that.

 

[DJ Lushious]

Do you just make a doctors appointment and tell them "Hey, I have really bad anxiety". I feel embarrassed just thinking about doing that.

Don't go to any ol' doctor. Try a psychologist/counselor or jump straight to a psychologist. Make sure you express everything you just expressed above and abandon your embarrassment feelings. Treat it as just like going to the doctor for the flu. Also, don't downplay the drinking, because often-times drinking or drug use (as described in your case) is a form of self-medication.

 

[isny]

Been away from this thread for awhile, but figured I'd drop back in just to vent.

Nothing I've done or any changes I've made in my life have been able to stop the constant mental pain, depression, and crying I've been constantly going through, sigh, and despite most of you having much worse issues and much more of a reason to complain and be depressed, it still doesn't console me in any way or make me feel any less like "wtf is the point."

 

[kiyomi]

Another day, more sadness and loneliness. Going to sleep last night was rough.

Every day of my life righ now. I don't even know why anyone would ever want me or be interested in what I do or have to say. I'm destined to have no friends again. I'm so used to being alone anyway.

 

[BruiserBear]

So what does one do if they are feeling like they have problems with anxiety?

I've probably been going through it for about 10 years now and I just figured it's how I was but I think I'm just fooling myself and realizing other people don't handle things the way I do.

I've mostly used drinking as a coping mechanism and I usually have a great time when drinking but it's such a roller coaster cycle of feeling great one day then having all this guilt and worrying thoughts/depression the next.

I think my reason for not wanting to seek treatment is hearing all the side effects of these drugs and also I feel like I don't want anyone to know that I'm having these issues. Like it makes me feel less than.

Do you just make a doctors appointment and tell them "Hey, I have really bad anxiety". I feel embarrassed just thinking about doing that.

I would recommend a book that dramatically improved my situation with anxiety.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0451167228/?tag=neogaf0e-20

That cheap book and a audio CD from the author pretty much did the trick for me, and I've been a lifelong anxious person who also used to drink a lot. Commit yourself to getting over your anxiety, and with the help of that book I think most people can overcome it.

If you go to most doctors/psychologists you're going to leave their office with a prescription for meds most of the time.

 

[The Atticus]

Today has been a good day despite frustrating events. Things are looking up for now!
This song has helped me immensely:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfYl6_f2Mdg
Hopefully someone will enjoy it too

 

[depths20XX]

I would recommend a book that dramatically improved my situation with anxiety.

Thanks, I think I'll check that out actually. I really want to avoid the meds route.

 

[BruiserBear]

Thanks, I think I'll check that out actually. I really want to avoid the meds route.

Cool. Feel free to PM me anytime if you've got questions about the book or how to go about using the skills she teaches you.

 

[Hermii]

We'd like to get back to doing some scheduled weekly IRC chats. As of now, if you jump in to the channel, there will be people in there, but the discussion is generally pretty silly. So it may seem hard to bring up a serious issue (serious discussion and questions always trumps the silliness, though!). It might help to have times every week set aside for discussion of actual mental health issues. We'd also love to see more people come to the IRC channel!

We can work on the day and time to fit more people, but we thought we'd start this Thursday.

(times bumped back to better accommodate Europeans)

2PM PST
4PM CST
5PM EST
2200 GMT

The topic is social anxiety/anxiety disorders. Come to ask questions, share your stories, or just to hang out and meet cool people. We'll see how it goes. We can move the timing around based on feedback from the community. If people like doing these, the next step would be to add a time for discussion of depression.

Chat is still always around and there are always people in there!

Thats still a bit late for scandinavians (GMT+2).

Well you cant please everyone.

 

[Wilsongt]

Loneliness feels like a rock that just sits in my chest. It pulses every few minutes and sends this wave of sadness through me... It's never been this bad before...

 

[User 100115]

Been away from this thread for awhile, but figured I'd drop back in just to vent.

Nothing I've done or any changes I've made in my life have been able to stop the constant mental pain, depression, and crying I've been constantly going through, sigh, and despite most of you having much worse issues and much more of a reason to complain and be depressed, it still doesn't console me in any way or make me feel any less like "wtf is the point."

Nobody's issues are worse than anyone elses. Depression affects all ages, races, creeds, incomes...it doesn't care who it affects. Someone can have the perfect life and still be depressed, or have the worst life in the world and not be depressed. The actual issues don't matter as much as the illness does. The illness makes the issues affect us more. That's it.

 

[neojubei]

Canceled all my therapist appointments and going to stop taking my meds. So fed up with everything.

 

[Bagels]

Just had a doctor prescribe Welbutrin for my depression. This is the first time I'll have ever taken medication like this before. Anyone have experience with it?

Like others here, I tried it (but only in combination with Celexa) but it was not the one for me. It's kind of a weird one - it acts on dopamine, norepinephrine, and nicotinic receptors, instead of serotonin (or serotonin and norepinephrine). It tends to be kind of stimulating. The big claim to fame is its lack of sexual side effects (or even ability to counteract them from other drugs). It's also sold as Zyban as a smoking cessation aid.

Let us know if it works for you!

Don't go to any ol' doctor. Try a psychologist/counselor or jump straight to a psychologist. Make sure you express everything you just expressed above and abandon your embarrassment feelings. Treat it as just like going to the doctor for the flu. Also, don't downplay the drinking, because often-times drinking or drug use (as described in your case) is a form of self-medication.

I feel like the word "psychiatrist" goes somewhere in there.

Thats still a bit late for scandinavians (GMT+2).

Well you cant please everyone.

Yeah - we'll figure out different dates and times. It makes the most sense to have a time that's better for the New (better) World and one that's better for the Old (obsolete, stinky) World. Chat already has a bimodal distribution, with Europeans on earlier (from my perspective) and the Americans and Canadians on later (with Bugs on by himself in the in-between parts). Fortunately or unfortunately, we all kind of want to be in there together. The only problem comes in scheduling something like this.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Loneliness feels like a rock that just sits in my chest. It pulses every few minutes and sends this wave of sadness through me... It's never been this bad before...

Just had a doctor prescribe Welbutrin for my depression. This is the first time I'll have ever taken medication like this before. Anyone have experience with it?

I've taken it for years. I've found it to be mostly effective with no side effects I'm aware of.

I really need to work on my self-esteem. I shouldn't think as little about myself as I do. I took no real pride when I finished my undergraduate degree two years ago; The diploma sits in a drawer still inside the envelope mailed to me. It didn't feel like a big deal since so many people have accomplished it. I realize since I'm still young, even if I haven't accomplished much yet, it doesn't mean I never will.

I guess it's the lack of personal relationships that is the real crux of my emotional strain. I have some, but the depth of most are unsubstantial. Even my closest friend, after telling him last week that I felt he didn't care about what I had to say or shows any interest in what I like (with examples), has made no effort to change his ways so far. I'm too weird and don't have much in common with most people.

Even when I start Graduate school a few weeks from now I don't expect much to change. I'm a divisive person that finds it difficult to let people in.

 

[AcridMeat]

I really need to work on my self-esteem. I shouldn't think as little about myself as I do. I took no real pride when I finished my undergraduate degree two years ago; The diploma sits in a drawer still inside the envelope mailed to me. It didn't feel like a big deal since so many people have accomplished it. I realize since I'm still young, even if I haven't accomplished much yet, it doesn't mean I never will.

I guess it's the lack of personal relationships that is the real crux of my emotional strain. I have some, but the depth of most are unsubstantial. Even my closest friend, after telling him last week that I felt he didn't care about what I had to say or shows any interest in what I like (with examples), has made no effort to change his ways so far. I'm too weird and don't have much in common with most people.

These two points, are the ruts I've been in since graduating as well. Well, the self-esteem has always been one ever since I could remember, but lack of personal relationships, especially on a deeper level, definitely has hit me harder as I've gotten older. There are a few good friendships that have been getting better because I've opened up more with them, it's interesting. Everything is interesting to me, I wish I could find something I did that I found interesting as well. I lack any appreciation for anything I do, because I did it, so big whoop.

 

[Pakkidis]

Canceled all my therapist appointments and going to stop taking my meds. So fed up with everything.

Not a wise choice, I strongly recommend you reconsider. At the very least keep your therapist appointments.

 

[RionaaM]

So today my dad (who, by the way, is actually computer savvy) installed a piece of shit software (AVG TuneUp) which I can't seem to get rid of. It doesn't help that he did it when trying to clean a malware which I have no idea how got into the system (and I don't really want to ask...). I hate this shit, I always try to take good care of the computer, and suddenly it gets garbage due to something that I have zero control over.

I hate having a single PC in my house, and I hate it even more when my dad behaves like he just connected to the internet for the first time yesterday, given that he has more than 23 years experience on the field. It's like he just doesn't give a shit anymore, throwing away all his experience and knowledge (which he has -or at least had- plenty of). I feel helpless here, like I can't even take care of my own fucking computer.

And what makes me even more angry is the fact that yesterday I finally recieved the remastered CD of my favorite Alan Parsons Project album, and this evening on my way home I was pretty excited to listen to it once I came. Which I'm doing right now, but this shit is preventing me from enjoying it. One of my favorite albums ever, and all I can think of is how I want to get out of all of this. Of this shit. Of these feelings. And I'm being stupid because I have a pretty damn privileged life, never had it rough, and I'm a fucking spoiled manchild. And I still feel bad. I fucking hate myself.


I'm really sorry for this rant/vent, but I had to do it. I can't do anything well, anything at all :/

EDIT: seems like I finally uninstalled said software. I don't know if there are remains of the previous spyware on the PC, and frankly I don't care. It's going to enter again, if not the same then another one, someone's going to screw up something somewhere down the line, so what's the point in cleaning it well?

 

[neojubei]

Not a wise choice, I strongly recommend you reconsider. At the very least keep your therapist appointments.

Don't worry everything is ok. I've committed myself to something

As for depression GAF thread sorry for being disruptive

 

[isny]

Nobody's issues are worse than anyone elses. Depression affects all ages, races, creeds, incomes...it doesn't care who it affects. Someone can have the perfect life and still be depressed, or have the worst life in the world and not be depressed. The actual issues don't matter as much as the illness does. The illness makes the issues affect us more. That's it.

I guess, that still doesn't make me feel any better complaining about it when so many others seem to have problems that seem much worse than mine. I'm marginally happy with my life, but get hella depressed over certain things and can't stop thinking about shit that just makes me break down and cry =/

 

[Lonely1]

Hi guys, I'm not really sure where to post this or whether to post this at all but I just don't know who I can talk to. I lost my uncle to suicide about a year ago and it's becoming more and more apparent that I am not coping well at all. As it turns out repression isn't a great strategy long term. I don't want to bring my friends down by discussing it but I feel weird talking to my family about it too (they didn't want to go into detail with me about it), and since much of my family was affected more than I was (his wife and kids mostly, but also my parents) and knew him better I don't feel like I'm entitled to be too sad at all. But whenever people talk about suicide or see advertisements or anything I start getting dizzy like to pass out. I'm worried that this final memory has tainted my time spent with someone I always looked up to as happy-go-lucky and living the dream. I'm sorry if this is the wrong place or if this is only meant to be for people dealing with depression.

Sounds to me like if you aren't sure about your relationship you had with your uncle. Perhaps writing about him might help you understand that aspect about yourself better. You don't have to post it here if you don't feel like it.

Also, I believe that should really make an effort to talk with your friends and family about it. As you said keeping it to yourself doesn't seem to be a very good idea. Is okay to grieve, don't deny your feeling, they will only grow stronger if you do.

 

[DJ Lushious]

Don't worry everything is ok. I've committed myself to something

As for depression GAF thread sorry for being disruptive

It would be wise to uncommit. Having been in the same shoes as you, quitting meds cold turkey was definitely not one of my wiser choices and I now regret it.

Keep on going to the doctor and talk to him/her about this desire.

 

[AcridMeat]

Mentioned a walk yesterday, I forgot I took a couple pictures from it. Figured I'd give a window into this lonesomeness.

Then today I decided to walk to a park today.

looking distressed I guess

but there were these swings there

fuck yeah swingin

 

[depths20XX]

Mentioned a walk yesterday, I forgot I took a couple pictures from it. Figured I'd give a window into this lonesomeness.

Cool pics Acrid. Looks like you live in a beautiful area. Taking a walk sounds like a good idea. I need to do that more.

 

[A Human Becoming]

These two points, are the ruts I've been in since graduating as well. Well, the self-esteem has always been one ever since I could remember, but lack of personal relationships, especially on a deeper level, definitely has hit me harder as I've gotten older. There are a few good friendships that have been getting better because I've opened up more with them, it's interesting. Everything is interesting to me, I wish I could find something I did that I found interesting as well. I lack any appreciation for anything I do, because I did it, so big whoop.

I'm confused by that statement in bold: care to elaborate? I've had low self-esteem for a decade now.

Despite my friend being overall in a worse situation than me (limited funds from disability, Mom is awful to him, still dealing with his father's death 5 years ago, can't drive), one thing I envy of him is his ability to find a group of people he can build relationships with. I have nothing like the "goth" group he hangs out with.

I remember around 5th grade I really wanted a best friend. When I finally got one he put me down, was very competitive, and later on when we worked together at the same place, was the one everyone liked more. Now my current best friend, while supportive, isn't fulfilling my needs either. Best friends aren't what they're cracked up to be.

 

[User 100115]

I guess, that still doesn't make me feel any better complaining about it when so many others seem to have problems that seem much worse than mine. I'm marginally happy with my life, but get hella depressed over certain things and can't stop thinking about shit that just makes me break down and cry =/

Try not to let that stop you from venting, please. Venting helps, it gets it all out there and there are people here who will listen and won't judge, no matter how petty the problem might seem to you. It's a problem, therefore it's important. We are all in the same boat here, it's best if we just help each other out and not play a game of depression olympics

Edit: Acrid, that last picture made me smile so big, thanks for that

 

[Iph]

Cool pics Acrid. Looks like you live in a beautiful area. Taking a walk sounds like a good idea. I need to do that more.

Took my dad's dog for over an hour long walk today. Felt great and it tired me out enough because of the heat/sun for me to have a nap.

 

[AcridMeat]

I'm confused by that statement in bold: care to elaborate? I've had low self-esteem for a decade now.

Despite my friend being overall in a worse situation than me (limited funds from disability, Mom is awful to him, still dealing with his father's death 5 years ago, can't drive), one thing I envy of him is his ability to find a group of people he can build relationships with. I have nothing like the "goth" group he hangs out with.

I remember around 5th grade I really wanted a best friend. When I finally got one he put me down, was very competitive, and later on when we worked together at the same place, was the one everyone liked more. Now my current best friend, while supportive, isn't fulfilling my needs either. Best friends aren't what they're cracked up to be.

Yeah what I said was vague, I meant everything that I don't have an involvement in, I find interesting. However anything I do contribute to, I think sucks and is not worth paying attention to.

People aren't perfect, it's actually how I met a lot of my good friends. I made friends with outsiders because I found them more interesting, but that also means they can disappear at times or not want to do anything. I'm not sure I can pick anyone as a best friend, I used to have them growing up in elementary and middle school. Almost every single one moved away around that time.

You seem to have an idea of what a best friend is, I no longer know really. I just want to hang out with folks that enjoy hanging out with me too.

 

[BruiserBear]

Took my dad's dog for over an hour long walk today. Felt great and it tired me out enough because of the heat/sun for me to have a nap.

The benefits of even mild physical activity should never be underestimated.

 

[Iph]

The benefits of even mild physical activity should never be underestimated.

Absolutely. I've been getting into running lately. I was doing great (doing at least a maintenance kilometer everyday, if not more) until I started the working overtime all day, everyday crud.

Once I'm back home I hope to get back on the wagon. I was doing a lot better when I was going for several long walks with my pup everyday, plus a few k's of running. I'm a working dog- I need my physical activity or I get kind of loopy/neurotic. :3

 

[RionaaM]

Mentioned a walk yesterday, I forgot I took a couple pictures from it. Figured I'd give a window into this lonesomeness.

Then today I decided to walk to a park today.

looking distressed I guess

but there were these swings there

fuck yeah swingin

Beautiful pics, man. Hope you enjoyed the walk

And the last one on the swing is awesome!

 

[Wilsongt]

Mentioned a walk yesterday, I forgot I took a couple pictures from it. Figured I'd give a window into this lonesomeness.



Then today I decided to walk to a park today.

looking distressed I guess

but there were these swings there

fuck yeah swingin

Excuse me while I molest you.

 

[Iph]

Just keep swinging! Just keep swinging! ~_^

 

[Captain_Spanky]

Black dog bit me bad this week. It's so frustrating that even when I have a pretty excellent handle on my BPD that I can just wake up and my fucking useless for a day or two for no reason. Just waking up after a bout of vivid nightmares and unrestrained emotional trauma leaves me feeling so tired and helpless. Ugh. Got so much work to do as well.

 

[ClassyPenguin]

I love this man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-0OXcNGB6M