The guy with the Canucks avatar.
(like my current avatar, just... blue background. and it says Vancouver Canucks on it.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
The guy with the Canucks avatar.
(like my current avatar, just... blue background. and it says Vancouver Canucks on it.The guy with the Canucks avatar.
Sent. :3
Fatal Futanari
Member
You'll be fine. It will just take awhile. I had to deal with this when I graduated from university this past May. A friend and I had become extremely close and were practically a couple, but she wouldn't make it official because we where both graduating and where going back to our respective states (CA for me, TX for her). Truthfully, if we had become a couple, I probably would have figured something out to be with her. However, she kept saying that I would do great things in life and how we shouldn't be. So I just enjoyed what I had. Gosh do I miss her so much, but its getting easier as days go by.
Sorry to hear that, was totally rooting for ya =( But both you and me man, I didn't get my internship. Guess it's back to the drawing board for the both of us.
Well the key here is that you still feel something when you do said task, which is good! I know this isn't going to sound like the best advice, but at the end of the day you just have to push yourself to do something/get stuff done. I know for me, whenever I feel like this it always ends up one of two ways:
1. I force myself to do something and feel great afterwards for having done something fun or productive with my time.
2. I don't do anything, in which case I just feel a million times worse for not doing anything. Then this just kind of spins into a nasty negative feedback loop where I don't feel like doing anything because I feel so negative about myself for not doing anything in the first place.
So if pre-task you're feeling apathetic about doing it, just remind yourself of how you'd feel after doing the task and use that as a motivator; since you know you'll feel good afterwards it's got to be a task worth doing right? Just try to pump yourself up about getting the task done; think about what it means to you, how you'd feel after doing it, etc. etc. Ultimately you want to break that apathetic mindset and the way I see it, the only way to do that is by doing the exact opposite of apathy; by doing something, anything--and no, nothing doesn't count as something. That's my take on it, sorry if it's crummy advice.
Good luck with your appointment! I hope things work out for ya. And hey, if it's a record with a good song, who cares if it's broken, it's still a good record =) I know you might feel like your rants might come off as repetitive/leechy/whatever, but I know my friends don't mind my constant mindless rants since I tend to exaggerate them a bit/they kind of like to see me struggle *shakes fists*. I'd like to think that the people in this thread who care about you don't mind your rants at all either.
Not sure if you're looking for someone who can relate or a solution, but you can try some type of quasi temporal conditioning. Like tell yourself you'll go to the breakroom at least once in the span of two weeks. Then in the following two weeks go there 2-3 times. etc. etc. Try to ease yourself into the environment until it feels at least semi-natural. That way by the time it's winter and you have to be in that room it won't feel like you're being tossed into the lion's den. There are meds for this kind of stuff too but you'll have to ask someone else for their own experiences with them. Is it just being around people that makes you anxious? Or is it the social aspect?
* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *
Anyways, I kind of wanted to rant too. Ever since I first posted in this thread I've kind of just sunk deeper and deeper; definitely a by-product of doing nothing productive during the summer. I just feel like my life is at a total standstill. I'm still going to college but I'm having a terrible time finding an internship and with absolutely zero work experience under my belt I feel like I'll have an equally hard time finding a job once I graduate. Everyone keeps telling me a biochemistry/computer science degree is marketable, but I sure as hell am not seeing it. It just sucks because I know I'm a solid, hard worker but I just can't find anything. And to me, no internship/job makes me feel like it doesn't matter how strong my work ethic is or how smart I am, which effectively makes me feel worthless. I told myself that I'd code up some small projects during the summer break to keep myself occupied but I just haven't had the motivation or willpower to do so.
I don't have a support system. I have friends, but they're more like seasonal friends; around when the semester is running but gone during the breaks. And it's not like we ever hang out outside of classes either. So while they're okay for small rants, they aren't really close enough for me to talk about my deeper problems. My parents and I don't speak the same language so it's not like I've ever had a strong relationship with them. Even if I could speak to them, they would just counter all my negative feelings that I have about them with "but we gave birth to you and took care of you" which is such a ludicrous argument because providing food and shelter is only half the battle of parenting. My brothers are aren't exactly approachable either. The oldest one just wouldn't understand or say the right things. My middle brother was my only outlet of happiness but he moved out and is also kind of struggling with his own life problems. And it's not like I have the money for meds/therapy to try to treat my depression.
This'll sound lame/crazy, but I don't even really like visiting this thread much because some of you guys are so close to one another and that just makes me feel even shittier cause I've never had a close relationship of any sort with anyone for such a long time. And I hate myself for thinking that way cause I know it's a stupid way of thinking. It's also kind of surreal to look back at what I wrote two years ago about my feelings and to see how little has changed since then. I just don't know who to reach out to or how to deal with these feelings and I just feel like I'm slowly losing a grip on my life. I guess at the end of the day I just have a lot of conflicting thoughts and emotions but I just have no one to bounce them off of, no good people to get second opinions or advice from.
The shrink recommended two books for me to read if I want. Namely Mind Over Mood and Reinventing Your Life. Anyone have any experience with these books? I'll probably get them anyway, but I figured I'd ask.
Agent Cooper
Member
somedays it'll feel like you're stuck back at square one. you were doing fine, making progress, you felt so much better, happier, and healthier. but now nothing is helping and nothing is making you feel better. that's okay. we all have our bad days. it's important to remember that this feeling will pass. you will go to sleep and wake up back on track. you can get through it.
listen to some music. play a video game. talk about it with an understanding friend or family member. lay in bed all day (if you feel the need). watch your favorite tv show. go for a walk. go for a swim. chat with a few of us on irc or mumble.
somedays it will feel like depression/anxiety/etc is winning. don't let it. you are strong and you are not alone, so you don't have to go through it alone. [x]
I guess my laptop was acting funky with sleep mode. Normally it's pretty cooperative. :/
It gets better. No matter the situation, not matter the drugs you're on, no matter whom you have to deal with.
Eat healthy, learn to cook, don't give up. Read. Exercise. That's a big one. People say that your appearance doesn't matter, but that's bullshit. It's bullshit because you know. You know.
Don't let yourself be talked into being broken. You're not broken. There's no such thing as broken. It's just an excuse to give up.
I lurked this thread for about 6 months. It was the worst time of my life. I appreciate all the anecdotes. It made me feel less alone.
Thanks guys,
Sam
Eat healthy, learn to cook, don't give up. Read. Exercise. That's a big one. People say that your appearance doesn't matter, but that's bullshit. It's bullshit because you know. You know.
Don't let yourself be talked into being broken. You're not broken. There's no such thing as broken. It's just an excuse to give up.
I lurked this thread for about 6 months. It was the worst time of my life. I appreciate all the anecdotes. It made me feel less alone.
Thanks guys,
Sam
I get what you're saying, and I'd be inclined to agree if it was just a day or week or month. But in my case it's been years now since I last made some progress, so I doubt things will get better, or that I'll stop ruining everything I touch.
somedays it'll feel like you're stuck back at square one. you were doing fine, making progress, you felt so much better, happier, and healthier. but now nothing is helping and nothing is making you feel better. that's okay. we all have our bad days. it's important to remember that this feeling will pass. you will go to sleep and wake up back on track. you can get through it.
listen to some music. play a video game. talk about it with an understanding friend or family member. lay in bed all day (if you feel the need). watch your favorite tv show. go for a walk. go for a swim. chat with a few of us on irc or mumble.
somedays it will feel like depression/anxiety/etc is winning. don't let it. you are strong and you are not alone, so you don't have to go through it alone. [x]
Still, I like your optimism.
No it doesn't. Or at least you don't know it.
That's just like your opinion, man.
I dunno, that sort of optimism helped me. I'm sorry it doesn't do the trick for you.
My man.
Does anyone else wake up with anxiety?
It's a weird kind of feeling. Not as extreme as a panic attack attack or anything, but it's like I have a depressed/sad/scary feeling in my stomach and it goes to my neck or something. Really weird. It's like all my negative thoughts and feelings combined together or something.
For example, I wake up at 9am and I feel like this, so I don't want to wake up. I just stay in my bed with this feeling until like 10-11am when I eventually wake up.
I only have this when I'm in one of my "episodes", when I feel more depressed as usual. It's actually one of the biggest signs I'm feeling bad. I mean, I *always* feel depressed and stuff, but I don't always wake up with anxiety. It only happens when it's worse than usual.
It's a weird kind of feeling. Not as extreme as a panic attack attack or anything, but it's like I have a depressed/sad/scary feeling in my stomach and it goes to my neck or something. Really weird. It's like all my negative thoughts and feelings combined together or something.
For example, I wake up at 9am and I feel like this, so I don't want to wake up. I just stay in my bed with this feeling until like 10-11am when I eventually wake up.
I only have this when I'm in one of my "episodes", when I feel more depressed as usual. It's actually one of the biggest signs I'm feeling bad. I mean, I *always* feel depressed and stuff, but I don't always wake up with anxiety. It only happens when it's worse than usual.
Agent Cooper
Member
It's super dickish to reply to someone's post with "No, it doesn't get better, stop that." That mentality helped him. I'm sorry it can't help you, but seriously?
I hear you. Back in school, my teachers always told me what an awesome writer I was. Rather than take this as a sign that I should hone my skill and put my best foot forward, I took it as license to goof off and wait till the last minute to do all my writing assignments. Taking writing classes in college was the worse; I ended up having to repeat both my required writing classes because I would get bored and slack off. Kind of regretting that now as I'm having to work extra hard to develop the willpower and discipline to keep going and hone my skill.
I was watching this video of Neil Gaiman's "Make Good Art" speech and among the many great pieces of advice he offered, I was struck by his saying that he began his career by getting into journalism. Got me thinking that maybe I should try that too. Of course, I have no real connections in the field and so, I have no idea where to start. lol
Agent Cooper
Member
i like this post. +1 awesome points
Of course it is. But you made it sound like it was an universal truth, which it isn't. It's a possibility, maybe a big one, but not a certain truth.
It's still great to have optimism, that's for sure. Being negative can't help you at all, while it never hurts to be positive.
What do you want me to say? It's like the "Snap out of it", it's not something that can be done at will. Same here: you don't know if things will get better. You can only hope they will. Maybe they will, maybe not, but you don't know that. What you can do is try your best to make them get better.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Defeatism is a symptom not a permanence.
Or, manageability is more realistic in severe cases.
Or, manageability is more realistic in severe cases.
Fair enough. I'm only responding to a particular situation. I just feel like there's more people in my camp than think they are.
I actually get these random "positive visions" every day where I envision myself in better times, where my mind tells me I won't suffer forever.
It's kinda weird to explain. It's like I get this really positive vibe and I'm all like "Things will get better, I shouldn't give up" but this only lasts a minute or two I like to think it's my normal self telling me to hang in there.
It usually *does* get better though. I have multiple periods each year that take up several day/weeks and where I feel ten times as bad as usual. When I'm in those periods, it's like there's no end to my suffering, the thoughts keep coming in a much faster way and I feel like it's impossible to ignore them. Then, one day, they disappear again and I'm in my "normal depression" again. It's really weird...
I'm currently in one of those periods and once again, I feel like there's no end and I feel like I shouldn't be alive at certain points. It's kinda strange. When this episode is over, I'll probably tell myself "it wasn't that bad" until the next period...
It's like something in my brains gets activated every now and then that makes everything even worse than usual And during that period, I do almost nothing. I can't enjoy anything. Everything just seems pointless and I tend to post less on forums etc, I just visit random internet sites the entire day. Don't play games either. When it's over, I just pick up where I left off before but it really feels like my depression resets the moment things get better.
It's kinda weird to explain. It's like I get this really positive vibe and I'm all like "Things will get better, I shouldn't give up" but this only lasts a minute or two
I like to think it's my normal self telling me to hang in there.It usually *does* get better though. I have multiple periods each year that take up several day/weeks and where I feel ten times as bad as usual. When I'm in those periods, it's like there's no end to my suffering, the thoughts keep coming in a much faster way and I feel like it's impossible to ignore them. Then, one day, they disappear again and I'm in my "normal depression" again. It's really weird...
I'm currently in one of those periods and once again, I feel like there's no end and I feel like I shouldn't be alive at certain points. It's kinda strange. When this episode is over, I'll probably tell myself "it wasn't that bad" until the next period...
It's like something in my brains gets activated every now and then that makes everything even worse than usual
And during that period, I do almost nothing. I can't enjoy anything. Everything just seems pointless and I tend to post less on forums etc, I just visit random internet sites the entire day. Don't play games either. When it's over, I just pick up where I left off before but it really feels like my depression resets the moment things get better.What do you think you lost and can't longer recover? Care to share with us a bit of that? I'm sorry you feel this way...
I actually get these random "positive visions" every day where I envision myself in better times, where my mind tells me I won't suffer forever.
It's kinda weird to explain. It's like I get this really positive vibe and I'm all like "Things will get better, I shouldn't give up" but this only lasts a minute or two
It usually *does* get better though. I have multiple peripds each year that take up several day/weeks and where I feel ten times as bad as usual. When I'm in those periods, it's like there's no end to my suffering, the thoughts keep coming in a much faster way and I feel like it's impossible to ignore them. Then, one day, they disappear again and I'm in my "normal depression" again. It's really weird...
I'm currently in one of those periods and once again, I feel like there's no end and I feel like I shouldn't be alive at certain points. It's kinda strange. When this episode is over, I'll probably tell myself "it wasn't that bad" until the next period...
It's like something in my brains gets activated every now and then that makes everything even worse than usual
That's good. Things can and will get better, pal.
Before my treatment, I used to wake up at random times at night feeling panic, feeling like there was something very threatening at my bed or standing next to it. Nothing concrete, just the feeling that something was there to get me.
Cameron122
Member
Worst part of being in a wheelchair is the sociological shit.
Way back when all of this started, I had a similar problem where I'd go to bed at like 23:00 or even 00:00 and I'd wake up at like 04:00 or 05:00. Besides the fact that this is way too early for me to wake up (especially without an alarm), I'd feel bad and in panic (why do I wake up so early? What's happening??). This lasted quite a while, I figured it was because of the stress I had to deal with back when I wasn't used to feeling depressed etc.
These days though, it's always related to the "episode thingies". I haven't had a day without depression/OCD since I got it, but most of the time I can deal with it just fine. It's only when I suffer from the episodes that I can't wake up properly without lying in my bed with anxiety for like 2 hours. It sucks because I keep thinking about the worst kind of things and my brain is telling me it's not worth it to get out of the bed
When I actually do get out of bed, it disappears after a few minutes.
Talking about beds, I should get into mine now. It's 4:21 AM
ClassyPenguin
Banned
I used to get nightime panic attacks before meds too.
Sometimes just stupid "what if the house collapses?" kinda shit.
Sometimes just stupid "what if the house collapses?" kinda shit.
Brain: Let's play a game. It's called "Let's Spend Windam's University Money on Frivolous Shit!"
Me: Okay! *goes out and buys new computer monitor using some university money*
I feel like I'm reverting to how I used to be before; buying myself shit to make me feel better. Alas with no job this summer, I'm left spending money that I shouldn't be. Gah. I'm an idiot, I know. Parents are pissed, but they won't tell me outright. I could just see it on their faces.
Me: Okay! *goes out and buys new computer monitor using some university money*
I feel like I'm reverting to how I used to be before; buying myself shit to make me feel better. Alas with no job this summer, I'm left spending money that I shouldn't be. Gah. I'm an idiot, I know. Parents are pissed, but they won't tell me outright. I could just see it on their faces.
All of these things and some more helped me. Unfortunately, not everyone is in the same state nor has the same type of mindset or mentality to begin with. I understand why some people don't like hearing this but if everyone is entitled to vent here than why is it not okay for someone to bring up a valid means of coping? No one here tried to say anything to put upon or put anyone down. It's not stated outright but I get a generally less tolerant impression in the thread when someone tries to explain how and why a more positive perspective change slowly came about and helped them. Or for pointing out that stating positive things definitively helps solidify the possibility of them being so.
Whatever happened to the mind over matter ideaology that holds some truth, even if it isn't the whole or only truth?
If someone tells themselves everyday, without realizing it or not, that they're no good and things are never going to get any better.. well even if they do, I'm willing to bet they wouldn't even notice or perceived them that way anyway. If they're too busy telling themselves everything, everyone (or some combination of these things) sucks then no matter what changes, the same label of dissatisfaction get slapped on without so much as a second glance sometimes.
I have had my bad days too- nothing seemed worth it, enjoyable or had any real point. I've even had bad months, years, et cetera, but as time passed, I slowly started to make better choices for myself after learning what are better choices in the first place.
I got into a schedule, I admitted my limits and what stressed me out, I had a few friends help boost my confidence and steer me away from defeatist, perpetually glass half-empty thoughts and phrases.
And things did change, but it didn't happen when I wanted, it happened in little bits and pieces so small that they were hard to notice, but I do believe they add up, firmly. I never realized when people confronted me on the fact either. Only after, as sort of a private epiphany. And then I started realizing how to take things one day at a time-- not view everything with such negative extremes nor have such extreme positive expectations. I began to appreciate what I had because I knew there were many people in much worse situations who had a lot less and lived with a lot more physical and mental pain than I did.
Everyone is entitled to their pain, it is part of life and the human experience. But when it's become too familiar it colours our thoughts and seats itself in the back of our minds. We allow it to make itself so comfortable that it sees no reason to leave. It is given power through repitition. We practice it without even realizing it and wonder why we're so good at staying low. We get used to it and it's hard to shake past that. Some people don't know any different, or maybe not any better. Several traumatic events in life at the wrong time can compound how long it takes to heal. Sometimes it's a nervous reaction to lick the wounds too often yet we still don't understand why it could be making it hard for them to heal. Sometimes we even pull and pick at ourself enough to leave the wound open, even if it hurts, because it becomes habit or we just want to feel something.
It took me years after noticing things I was repeatedly doing but were not serving any healthy purpose to me before I could look back over the years and notice just how much things had improved. It really did take some time for me to see how my mindset, my negative affirmations and how I treated my body played a huge part in my outlook, how I viewed things, how I felt and how mentally mucked up I got.
No one has the same opinion but it feels like a double standard when the negative is given more leeway and tolerance than the positive.
edit: sorry, my grammar and awful sentance structure. It's late for me. '_'
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
I can relate but with a few differences. Those being I know everyone else is better than me and people actually do judge me and are usually not afraid to say so. I have no issue with constructive criticism and can take most of what someone dishes at me, because a lot of times they are right and I recognize that. But I do get the occasional not-so-constructive criticism, if you get my drift.
I'm also always scared. It's severe anxiety. I have stomach issues related to it and related to lack of sleep, which of course is related somewhat to the anxiety in the first place. I have one friend I hang out with every couple weeks or so, but I feel lonely quite a bit.
Sounds like you have a lot of general anxiety overall.
User 100115
Banned
Ten Lies Your Depression Tells You
I believe I am guilty of 7, to an extreme degree. (I didn't actually know that was a symptom or a lie)
I believe I am guilty of 7, to an extreme degree. (I didn't actually know that was a symptom or a lie)
I've been guilty of all of these, at some point or another. Lately, 4 and 10 have been running non-stop through my head.
I've been going through a fair amount of music I'd listen to when I was feeling quite low, mostly last year. Things like Burial and Ifan Dafydd. The last minute in that song always hit me like a freight train.
Just feeling lonely and angry at everyone right now. Always feels like no one gives a damn about who I am or what I want in life.
Pretty much everything but 3, 9, and 10 describes me lately.
Pretty much everything but 3, 9, and 10 describes me lately.
I'm in Baltimore, and there are a couple of small papers around town. I'm going to look into it.Hey cool. Never seen that before, watching through it now.
If you can handle moving to a smaller area (depends where y'ar I guess), seems like there are always jobs working for local gazettes or weeklies, and experience requirements tend to vary. Might not be for everyone thoughCould be awesome, just sayin!
Awesome link, Fic. Thx.
Yeah she knows I'm a bit paranoid and a worrier, and i did tell her she means a lot to me and stuff. But nothing to the tune that it becomes obsessive, i just said we should have emergency contacts for each other, so if it's more than a couple of days that we haven't heard from one another, then we contact that person. Which is reasonable, for something that's a bit long distance at the moment.
I just generally get worried a lot and i start contemplating the most unlikely of scenarios, after hearing something happen to one person, i start to think well it can happen to anyone you know. That's a part of life and i just have to learn to deal with that kind of stuff, but she accepts me like this so far.
Lately, I've been thinking about my OCD.
I noticed I rarely have any compulsions. I mean, I wash my hands more often than before I had OCD, but that's only after I've eaten/went to the bathroom or they feel dirty. Not like I do it every 15 minutes or so.
I also don't have to arrange stuff by a certain number or anything. I mean.. I like to clean my room every two days or so because of dust and spiders, but I'd say I'm more obsessed with the actual cleaning than having compulsions.
I also don't have the fear something bad will happen to me if I don't do a specific thing.
I'm only obsessed with "being clean". I don't like it when other people do filthy things or they try to enter my room with filthy clothes etc. Sometimes, I feel like my own room is the only clean place since I still live with my parents and brother(s) so they use all the stuff in the house. Problem is I don't like being in my room all the time because it just feels bad so I usually sit downstairs using the iPad or laptop, but whenever my little brother runs downstairs I feel bad. He likes to jump in the sofa etc and he doesn't wash his hair etc :s It's like a big filthy thing jumping around, triggering my anxiety
I noticed I rarely have any compulsions. I mean, I wash my hands more often than before I had OCD, but that's only after I've eaten/went to the bathroom or they feel dirty. Not like I do it every 15 minutes or so.
I also don't have to arrange stuff by a certain number or anything. I mean.. I like to clean my room every two days or so because of dust and spiders, but I'd say I'm more obsessed with the actual cleaning than having compulsions.
I also don't have the fear something bad will happen to me if I don't do a specific thing.
I'm only obsessed with "being clean". I don't like it when other people do filthy things or they try to enter my room with filthy clothes etc. Sometimes, I feel like my own room is the only clean place since I still live with my parents and brother(s) so they use all the stuff in the house. Problem is I don't like being in my room all the time because it just feels bad
so I usually sit downstairs using the iPad or laptop, but whenever my little brother runs downstairs I feel bad. He likes to jump in the sofa etc and he doesn't wash his hair etc :s It's like a big filthy thing jumping around, triggering my anxiety I've come to realise that playing games makes me depressed. In my case, I need to stay active pretty much constantly. Going outside, getting work done, achieving things. That's how I feel not depressed. When I play games, I don't feel depressed (don't feel anything, really) but afterwards I do since I haven't had my fix of 'getting shit done', so to speak. I'm considering playing video games only in the evening, after a rewarding day. Hell, maybe even not at all for the time being!
Anyone else have this? It might be the feeling of not really achieving anything but it might be my own guilt with regards to gaming, too.
Anyone else have this? It might be the feeling of not really achieving anything but it might be my own guilt with regards to gaming, too.
GAF i need some help.
Before January of 2013, I had smoked marijuana every day since I was about 13 years old.
i've been sober off marijuana for about 8 months because I had to quit in January for a piss test (bad ass job). I tried to go back to smoking after I passed the test (in February) but I kept having BAD panic attacks.
I came to the realization that my migraine medicine (topamax) in which i was prescribed during January interacted with the weed and gave me those panic attacks. After I stayed sober for a while, I was glad to be off of weed but of course now that I did not have it daily, this caused severe anxiety and depression (because of that missing THC, causing a chemical imbalance).
Now i've finally found a good doctor who got me off the topamax (because he hates it, says it changes your patterns of thinking and is just a terrible drug all around), and put me on 150 mg of wellbutrin and some prozac daily (for the depression and ADHD)
But I now can't stop thinking about smoking weed again. I know that I probably can smoke now with no ill effects, but I don't know if I should. My fiance will leave me if I start smoking daily again but the sober life just isn't cutting it. I can only play video games for so long before I become incredibly bored.
Weekdays are OK because I have work to fill up my time but weekends are a nightmare for me because we don't really do anything except sit around the house.
Anybody have any advice or experience with getting sober? How can I be successful
edit: I tried to take up drinking last weekend but i hated the way it made me feel and most of my family and friends have gotten in trouble for DUIs and my stepdad is half crazy because of alcoholism, so there's a certain stigma attached to alcohol for me.
Before January of 2013, I had smoked marijuana every day since I was about 13 years old.
i've been sober off marijuana for about 8 months because I had to quit in January for a piss test (bad ass job). I tried to go back to smoking after I passed the test (in February) but I kept having BAD panic attacks.
I came to the realization that my migraine medicine (topamax) in which i was prescribed during January interacted with the weed and gave me those panic attacks. After I stayed sober for a while, I was glad to be off of weed but of course now that I did not have it daily, this caused severe anxiety and depression (because of that missing THC, causing a chemical imbalance).
Now i've finally found a good doctor who got me off the topamax (because he hates it, says it changes your patterns of thinking and is just a terrible drug all around), and put me on 150 mg of wellbutrin and some prozac daily (for the depression and ADHD)
But I now can't stop thinking about smoking weed again. I know that I probably can smoke now with no ill effects, but I don't know if I should. My fiance will leave me if I start smoking daily again but the sober life just isn't cutting it. I can only play video games for so long before I become incredibly bored.
Weekdays are OK because I have work to fill up my time but weekends are a nightmare for me because we don't really do anything except sit around the house.
Anybody have any advice or experience with getting sober? How can I be successful
edit: I tried to take up drinking last weekend but i hated the way it made me feel and most of my family and friends have gotten in trouble for DUIs and my stepdad is half crazy because of alcoholism, so there's a certain stigma attached to alcohol for me.
DJ Lushious
Member
Easy. Don't smoke. You know the repercussions, as you've already stated. And, really, it seems like you were self-medicating. Again, now you don't need to. As for staying busy on the weekends, check Meetup.com or see if your area has a subReddit.
I've been sober for about four years now and have been around it and never felt the urge to take it up again. I am much better off sober, even if I know it did make me feel better.
Seven. Seven seven seven seven seven seven seven. Since around 9 years old. I didn't know either!
Lionheart1827
Member
Fuck, 7 here as well.
I cannot begin to tell you how many times I apologized throughout my cancer treatment.
Exactly how I feel
I swear everytime I look at online personal ads I feel so much worse than I do already. Who would want to date a loser like me. Im Better off dead probably
User 100115
Banned
I once made a nurse cry, because of 7. After abdominal surgery, they had to press really hard on the incision to control bleeding. It was intensely painful, enough that I was vocalizing the pain. Every time I did, I was apologizing as well, because I didn't want to make the nurse feel bad. My apologizing for her hurting me made her cry
I'm really guilty of number 7 too. My mom wasn't around much when I was growing up and when she did stay for a while all my parents would do was fight, so I blamed myself and constantly apologised for everything/nothing.
I also tried to go out of my way to go through really messy rooms in the house and do a complete "cleaning". My dad was out of the house with work a lot and my mother never did anything but add to the mess- she would even occasionally guilt me into "picking up her slack" when I got home from school by making me feel like I wasn't doing enough because she knew I knew my dad would get upset if he came home to her not lifting a finger all day after work. She was pretty messed up. I know this awful to say but my mother was an extremely unfit parent and trying to help my dad deal with all her shit over the years completely robbed me of my childhood and adolescence. It blows my mind when kids who almost old enough to be in highschool can't even do their own laundry or make food for themselves.
I'd try to take on everything myself as though if I could do all the things that everyone in the house would bitch or fight about, everything would be okay.
So, if I don't believe that anyone of those applies to myself (now), it means that I'm effectively cured?
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
All 10, except a lot of this is true for me. An exception: Yes, I know not literally everything is my fault, but a lot of things that cause discomfort for others, is.
I am lazy and lacking in motivation and willpower.
My friends and family tolerate me but do not "love" me.
I know for a fact friends and family DON'T want to hear how sad I am.
They do deserve better than me.
As for the seventh one, there's not much I can do to make people happy. I do apologize a lot and have been called out for it numerous times.
Already covered the eight one.
I do believe there are short term (and by short, I mean a few hours) cures like gaming or dare I say drinking, but no, there's no real good cure. I don't want a prescription to Zoloft, Prozac or Celexa.
As for feeling this way forever, I would hope not but that's up in the air. From the looks of it, I don't have much hope.
On another note, I had a horrible night's sleep last night. The night before I had one of the best night of sleep I had in a while so it only goes to figure that last night would be tossing and turning in bed. I maybe had around 4 hours, at most, last night and that's finally falling asleep in bed around 6 am.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
I find it frustrating and a bit ironic that most people have no problem popping vitamins and bullshit supplements but when it comes to medication all of a sudden it is a negative thing.
I don't view it as a negative thing, but I don't like side effects.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked