Yes, indeed, but I guess the idea of a free company that had people playing together was kind of ruined because well people don't play together but with high levels to grind high gear and they don't really take much time to help anyone lower hence you don't really become friends at all with these people.
That was my point I didn't really make well. It just seems at times like the inner circle is this weirdly hardcore group who have trouble with others that are more casual. I am a little newer to MMOs so it is mostly a new concept of making 'friends' to me. I guess try different ones out until you find a good fit.
This will sound a bit strange, but you need to be 'aggressive' about making friends in large FCs.
I generally prefer smaller, tight knit guilds, but most of my friends aren't playing FFXIV, so I joined the GAF FC Red Dot on Sargatanas (I played veryyyyyyyyyyyyyy briefly with them in 1.0), and they're a great bunch of people.
That FC in particular probably isn't as large as the other GAF FC, but similar issues still apply - lots of them are old friends, lots of them are old friends from 1.0, so they're high level, they know each other, and they want to do high level stuff together.
But with that said, by and large, they're excellent people, they've been helpful, I've had plenty of fun dungeon runs with them, and I've done some of the tougher end game content with them as well (some of them are damn good players too).
But yeah, in any large FC, you need to accept that you're not always going to get people doing exactly what you're doing at that moment in time and free to do it with you - advertise any time you're doing group content, try to pick up at least one FC member of any class before you use DF for dungeons, chat with them, and you'll gradually make steady friends who happen to be around your level and who play around your daily playtime.
You get out what you put in, when you talk and participate and help other FC members, they'll remember and they'll friend you and look for you for future runs. Eventually you'll settle into your own little mini-circle of friends.
The ugly way of looking at it is that they're all exclusive cliques, but that's not really the truth of it - it's just too difficult to maintain an active social network of 100+ people, you need to pare that down to a smaller group within the larger group so you can relate to them on an individual level.
Stick with it, it's fun - last night I did a bunch of my Relic weapon quest, and had Red Dot members helping (and eventually, exclusively RD) along the way. I cleared Chimera, Hydra, HM Ifrit, and got to wipe a bunch on HM Garuda (came within inches of killing her too, she's going down this weekend

)
And yes, if you really don't like the large FC feel, poke around for a smaller group. Another option is to join linkshells
on top of your FC - you can use linkshells to communicate with a smaller subset of friends easily, or just useful server-wide linkshells to avoid using DF. It's better to make friends on your server so you can meet with them later than use DF exclusively. Always always try to bring at least one person from your FC or server with you on DF runs to expand your social network!