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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
- Start date
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entremet
Member
The first person that friendzoned me became my best friend and I still have feelings for her. Beat that lol.
I've considered pulling away and dropping her completely, but its complicated.
forknknife
Banned
I think even worse than the times I've been friendzoned it's been all the times that I have had a crush on a friend for years never making a move. That you truly regret after the years. Although in my defence many of them had boyfriends so that's why I never told them.
I was basically in love for good part of my college years with a friend of mine and she doesn't even know it. She got married and invited me to the wedding even lol. Well, I think I'm over her now lol
Beat that
NeOak
Member
I dropped her, but man, it sucks because you lose a friend too.
hawkshockey11
Banned
wat
Count Dookkake
Member
C'mon. He's looking for a helping hand.
Is it not appropriate to talk about this stuff?
Dr_Boris_Goltz
Banned
Now that I'm losing the weight I put on during my last relationship, I'm almost ready to start looking again.
I'm going to attempt to find a girl who doesn't drink/smoke/do drugs like me, but I may yield if this is impossible.
Edit: I read this post in a different voice and hated how it sounded.
I'm going to attempt to find a girl who doesn't drink/smoke/do drugs like me, but I may yield if this is impossible.
Edit: I read this post in a different voice and hated how it sounded.
Like everything else when it comes to sex, if it's something you're not comfortable doing, let the other person know. I can't really imagine a scenario where a guy would be like: "No, I want anal sex, and only anal sex, otherwise I'm leaving!" Unless that guy is a complete asshole or something.
Zen_Arcade
Banned
Yeah no one should ever be asking for anal on the third date.
Oh wait, the persons username is Mark, so maybe he's talking about two men dating. If that's the case I have no idea what the etiquette is. But as Pau said, you shouldn't be doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Oh wait, the persons username is Mark, so maybe he's talking about two men dating. If that's the case I have no idea what the etiquette is. But as Pau said, you shouldn't be doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Hey thanks.
. I hear from a lot of gays here they normally have anal sex after a couple of dates. I wouldn't mind working myself towards types of sex like anal or oral, like for instance just kissing and rubbing each other etc.I thought I said the other day I was gay. It was either you or someone else that responded to me saying that lol.
I'm sure it's the norm for a lot of folks, but likewise, everyone's different. People will have different expectations, but that's why it's important to talk about this stuff to make sure everyone is on the same page and having a good time. And honestly, if a guy only wants to do something that gets him off and doesn't take his partners wants in consideration, that doesn't sound like a recipe for good sex anyways.Hey thanks.
Zen_Arcade
Banned
Oh that was you! My bad dude, I honestly don't remember people's usernames or anything.Hey thanks.
I thought I said the other day I was gay. It was either you or someone else that responded to me saying that lol.
Listen to Pau though, she's dead on. You shouldn't be doing anything you're not comfortable with doing. Hopefully this is the same dude from your running group and everything worked out!
Have you been with other men before? If so, how long did it take then? I just want to echo what has already been said, don't do anything you're not comfortable with. But I'm not well versed at all in the etiquette of gay sexual encounters beyond that universal truth.Hey thanks.
I thought I said the other day I was gay. It was either you or someone else that responded to me saying that lol.
entremet
Member
Yeah. I'm stuck with this one lol. Hopefully someone else comes around lol. I've been active in the scene just haven't found an mutual connection yet.
MacGurcules
Member
I dunno about the expectations of gay men, but regardless, you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. If the person you're dating is pushing you into sexual situations you don't want, that's a person you don't want to be dating.Hey thanks.
My girlfriend actually put the pressure on me for sex really early our relationship and I held back for a while because I wasn't comfortable jumping into it that quickly. She was cool with it because we had a lot of fun together otherwise. I did make it clear that sex was on the roadmap, though.
If you find someone who can respect you, he'll respect that you want to take it slow.
Hey no problem mate!
In response to both of you, no I've never being out with anyone before. But hopefully the rain isn't bad on Sunday so I can actually take part in the running, don't think I have the right attire to at the moment
.And thanks everyone, I don't want to feel pressured into having certain types of sex right now. I want that guy to be understanding and we both can work it together.
beat
Member
Yeah, this. She's kinda awesome, but I can tell my crush is making me a shittier person whenever I'm around her. I need to at least take a break from her.
I was more wondering about sex, not if you've been on dates or something like thatHey no problem mate!
In response to both of you, no I've never being out with anyone before. But hopefully the rain isn't bad on Sunday so I can actually take part in the running, don't think I have the right attire to at the moment
And thanks everyone, I don't want to feel pressured into having certain types of sex right now. I want that guy to be understanding and we both can work it together.
If that was unclear. I'm sure there's a gay-gaf somewhere around here which might be able to give better answers. There must be one, right?Nah I've never had sex - I should've been clear mate. Yeah I've subscribed to the gay thread as well.I was more wondering about sex, not if you've been on dates or something like that
hawkshockey11
Banned
Sorry that went totally over my head. I assumed female without looking at username. Wow I feel stupid.
If you aren't comfortable with going that far so early just let that be known. He should understand. There is more fun stuff you can do instead.
NeOak
Member
Fair warning: I dropped her "temporarily" (she thinks its permanent though afaik) because I had trouble getting over her, so I needed to "blow it up" to work on that without the hope staying alive. I had previously tried 2 times without the nuking but it didn't work unfortunately.
Once I've been able to let go, I'll talk to her. After all the effort she put into our friendship, it wouldn't be fair to trash it. At least, that is what I think.
I wish I could confer onto you my don't give a shit attitude. Like a girl, get friendzoned, don't give a shit, have no problems being friends, never like them again, turn your feelings off like it were a tap. I guess it comes with age. I'm old.
beat
Member
How old is "old"? Cause I thought I was well past this kind of drama and (for lack of a better word) emo-ness, and then it turned out I totally wasn't.
Thanks man
Oh, ok, then I guess I'm heartless.
NeOak
Member
Logs have no heart!
Kano on the Phone
Member
Holy shit, I'm in tears.
Tears.
You should definitely say this to her as soon and as often as you can.
"Sadsic, I think I might be falling for you..."
"well i dont know of all the human combos i think i like black girl the most"
jadedm17
Member
This post makes me wish I lived with others instead of above a salon between a pizza place and a Rite-Aid.
I'll agree, that was awesome of you to do, great job bro.
Also, screw social anxiety : I had it when I was younger and its just so... pointless. There's so many cool and fun like-minded people to meet if you just put yourself out there.
It's definitely something I'm super happy I did. It was great meeting them. They were all super nice.
As for social anxiety, it's super weird. I didn't even realize it was an issue for me until this summer. In a group setting, I'm fine. I don't have any issues putting myself out there for classes or anything. I also have no issues once I get to know someone. It's dealing with introducing myself outside of groups were I have the issue. I all of a sudden get terrified and lose my ability to construct coherent sentences. It's like there's a little gnome in my head reminding me the absolute worst case scenario for any situation, no matter how unlikely those scenarios are. It's something I'm working through now. The ability to turn off my thought processes is something I definitely need to work on. Baking and cooking are skills that I'm glad I developed now and seems like they're really going to help me break out of my issues. It's a really good icebreaker. Almost no one dislikes food, especially desserts.
Fun conversation I'm having on OKC with a girl. She's apparently feeling sick right now, and trying to find a cure. I recommended seeing a rabbi since they have some great procedures...including this one:
http://forward.com/articles/174081/are-new-york-hospitals-hiding-herpes-from-metzitza/
She has a section talking about her dislike of circumcision, so this wasn't completely random.
She actually messaged me first (with a "don't I know you from somewhere?" line, followed by "we should do things" after I told her I didn't think we had met before). I'm not sure I'd be that successful if I tried that in my messages.
http://forward.com/articles/174081/are-new-york-hospitals-hiding-herpes-from-metzitza/
Nothing like talking about circumcisions, herpes, and the sucking of baby penises on a dating site. If it goes well, I'll let you guys know, and you can try it out yourself.
She has a section talking about her dislike of circumcision, so this wasn't completely random.
She actually messaged me first (with a "don't I know you from somewhere?" line, followed by "we should do things" after I told her I didn't think we had met before). I'm not sure I'd be that successful if I tried that in my messages.
That was maybe the only somewhat serious thing in her profile (and yeah it was kind of random). She was talking about being pro-choice, your body is yours alone (and only for you to decide), etc. Basically just said she didn't know why we still circumcised newborns (I agree, though I haven't researched it heavily myself).
She's pretty sarcastic, and most of her profile is written as a joke I think, so thought I'd have some fun with this too.
She's pretty sarcastic, and most of her profile is written as a joke I think, so thought I'd have some fun with this too.
Awesome. If she actually goes along with the talk about rabbis sucking of newborn circumcised babys, then you know you have a winner
People who aren't overly serious can make for the nicest surprises.Anyway, I think I just gotten my first booty call/text ever. About a month ago I ran into an old fling, her sister was there, but there was still a lot of sexual chemistry. We got to talking about a lot of stuff, and she was interested in the book I was writing. So I sent her my first chapter after a couple of days, we texted a bit after that, but that died down. Today I get a random message from her saying she loved my chapter, asking if the second one was finished yet. After my affirming reply she asked if I could come read it to her. This evening. In person. Not: can you mail it to me, so I can read it at my leasure. But can you come over.
Since every time we were together, sparks were flying, and since it came totally out of the blue I'm guessing it's a booty call. My very first booty call! I'm so excited!
(my writing isn't THAT good, so it can't be that
)
beat
Member
Since every time we were together, sparks were flying, and since it came totally out of the blue I'm guessing it's a booty call. My very first booty call! I'm so excited!
(my writing isn't THAT good, so it can't be that
See, if I were you, my self-destructive streak would mine this for compliments about my book.
Sounds like itGo for it.
I'm on my way as I typ this. Just bought new shoes, happened to run into the PERFECT jacket I've been looking for for the last couple of...months. So I look pretty sharp, if I say so myself
Which means my confidence is doing great. And I'm genuinely looking forward to seeing her as well, she's pretty cool. I'll keep gaf updated as the night progresses (no I won't )Hey, taking pride in your work is also worth something! I'm just gonna do both
still really need to work on my confidence. (Even though these posts might come of as bragging)
NeOak
Member
For a while, yeah.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I haven't posted here in a while, so I thought I'd stop by. I've been busy with grad classes and finding new work so I can move in with a friend of mine who I think has the hots for me; I don't know how I feel about her.
I continue to work on my "don't give a fuck" attitude. I need to push myself to talk to random women at my college library. Tons of cute girls in the college town, just not sure where to start. I think I'm still a little intimidated but also want to find someone who's interesting. I've been looking at clubs but nothing seems to have started yet. Uncharted waters are difficult to navigate.
I continue to work on my "don't give a fuck" attitude. I need to push myself to talk to random women at my college library. Tons of cute girls in the college town, just not sure where to start. I think I'm still a little intimidated but also want to find someone who's interesting. I've been looking at clubs but nothing seems to have started yet. Uncharted waters are difficult to navigate.
So I ran into an ex-gf of mine. Ran into her at the mall and we ended up spending the rest of the afternoon together. It was like we never broke up, talking about all sorts of things, life, general daily bs and all that. When I got home I started thinking about the what ifs and that was when it hit me how much I really loved this girl and still do, and how big a part she played into my life during the time we were together. I'm 100% sure I'll never get over this girl because I do think about her from time to time and wonder how she's doing. Shit sucks, especially that feeling you get at the pit of your stomach. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening.
I'll say the same thing that people told me recently. It gets better and easier. I still miss my ex too sometimes, but not nearly as much. Enjoying life and having a blast with new people really does help. Everybody thinks at some point in their life that they will never get over that special girl. But one day you realize that you haven't thought about her for a while, even if it's just for a day or a week. The anger and sadness dissipates with time apart. Wondering what an ex is up to is pretty normal if you had a sincere connection. I still wonder sometimes what my previous ex from 7 years ago is doing these days. That doesn't mean I love her still or want her back. And like I said, I still miss my recent ex too, but am I as eager today compared to a few weeks or months ago to get back together? Not at all. The reasons for splitting up in the first place will almost always still exist between you two. Never forget that. She's an ex for a reason.
SlipperySlope
Banned
So what anal lubes do you guys recommend?
Thing is, we had due break up due to circumstances that was out of our control. Without going into too much details, she basically had to move with her family across the country. We tried the long distance thing but it didn't work out so we decided to just completely cut each other off as much as it hurt us both. I've no doubt in my mind, if things played out differently, we'd still be together now. And now she's back in town. Fuck. All these feelings I had for her came rushing back and just thinking about her is driving me insane. I also feel really guilty cause I'm with someone else now who is absolutely amazing.
Holy crap, the second date went waaaaaaaaaay better. At first she had her trademark shyness on as we went through the Nature Center, and kept it up afterward. It'd been a while since I was last there, so what was supposed to take all afternoon only took 45 mins. Place seemed a lot bigger when I was a kid! Trying to salvage it I suggested minigolf, which she didn't know how to drive to. Considering her personality, I think she put a lot of trust in me to let me take her there.
It was 98 degrees outside so we only played the first half of the course. Since we were both sweating near the end she was talking even less, and I was thinking this would be another dud. When we got in the car to take her back to the Nature Center, she spoke up, saying she hadn't seen much of the westside of the city, and if I could show her around. So I did, and that's when she started opening up. We ended up talking for two hours in the car, and while she seemed a little "blah" when clammed up, she ended up being a ton of fun. After the drive she said she'd actually like to finish the course, and we played the last 18 holes.
Drove her back to her car afterwards and immediately set up a third date for next week. Last time I told her I had fun and wanted to do something again she just said "okay...". This time was "Yeah! Had a lot of fun too, let's do something next week!" Didn't make any moves, but this felt like a "proper" first date. It's clear we get along really well, she's just been stressed from work and doesn't like texting much. May not contact her this week aside from confirming the time for next Saturday. Still though, all of my uncertainties from last week are cleared up now- excitement!
So, this week I learned:
1. Take it slow. It's just been a week since you first saw each other, and she may just not want to talk much over the phone. For a brief time at the Nature Center when she was at her shyest I was thinking "this is it, it's over" but literally a few minutes later it was like we'd never left the first date. We hadn't regressed.
2. The "not giving a crap" attitude works wonders, and I wasn't nervous at all this time. I think she caught on to that.
Two lessons that are often said around here, it's just nice that I recognized them and got to learn them for myself. There's still a sizable chance this won't work out, but I can't say I'll leave without some experience.
It was 98 degrees outside so we only played the first half of the course. Since we were both sweating near the end she was talking even less, and I was thinking this would be another dud. When we got in the car to take her back to the Nature Center, she spoke up, saying she hadn't seen much of the westside of the city, and if I could show her around. So I did, and that's when she started opening up. We ended up talking for two hours in the car, and while she seemed a little "blah" when clammed up, she ended up being a ton of fun. After the drive she said she'd actually like to finish the course, and we played the last 18 holes.
Drove her back to her car afterwards and immediately set up a third date for next week. Last time I told her I had fun and wanted to do something again she just said "okay...". This time was "Yeah! Had a lot of fun too, let's do something next week!" Didn't make any moves, but this felt like a "proper" first date. It's clear we get along really well, she's just been stressed from work and doesn't like texting much. May not contact her this week aside from confirming the time for next Saturday. Still though, all of my uncertainties from last week are cleared up now- excitement
!So, this week I learned:
1. Take it slow. It's just been a week since you first saw each other, and she may just not want to talk much over the phone. For a brief time at the Nature Center when she was at her shyest I was thinking "this is it, it's over" but literally a few minutes later it was like we'd never left the first date. We hadn't regressed.
2. The "not giving a crap" attitude works wonders, and I wasn't nervous at all this time. I think she caught on to that.
Two lessons that are often said around here, it's just nice that I recognized them and got to learn them for myself. There's still a sizable chance this won't work out, but I can't say I'll leave without some experience.
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