NinjaBoiX
Member
Huh? How do you know this?
And by "so wrong", I meant, "no, I'm a bloke and I get those kind of pleasantries all the time".
I assumed that was obvious.
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And by "so wrong", I meant, "no, I'm a bloke and I get those kind of pleasantries all the time".
I assumed that was obvious.
Thunder Monkey
Banned
The only thing that irritates me is just meanness.
You can be concise without being rude.
You can be concise without being rude.
The Librarian
Banned
I feel that's more of a product of the medium that we're using. It's hard to convey emphasis and (lack of) attitude/rudeness, or emotion in general, through text. Though, maybe it's more of a problem with the assumption that people think what you're saying is being rude or attacking when it's actually not.
NinjaBoiX
Member
I fail to see how these two factors contribute to a fondness for gender-specific pleasantries.
You assume he wouldn't use those terms towards a bloke based on a 30 second transaction. It's a baseless conclusion.
Misuse of the word 'bias'. An few examples (from WoW, as it happens, but the sins lie all over the place):
http://www.mmo-champion.com/threads...ng-DKP-systems-in-WoW?p=16855308#post16855308
http://us.battle.net/wow/en/forum/topic/7415514473#2
If you have bias, you are biased.
Also: Forum games with restrictive arbitrary rules for play order which don't take into account the free-for-all nature of posting on a forum. Moreso if they then get petulant that people aren't following the rules.
http://www.mmo-champion.com/threads...ng-DKP-systems-in-WoW?p=16855308#post16855308
http://us.battle.net/wow/en/forum/topic/7415514473#2
If you have bias, you are biased.
Also: Forum games with restrictive arbitrary rules for play order which don't take into account the free-for-all nature of posting on a forum. Moreso if they then get petulant that people aren't following the rules.
The Librarian
Banned
*shrugs* I don't know what to tell you, but from my experience I'm 100% certain if I were a boy he wouldn't have used those words.
I'm sorry if it rubbed you up the wrong way, doll, you're OK in my book, darling.*
*the above is an attempt at humour whereby I apologise for a condescending remark with a more condescending one. See chapter 5 of my new book "Internet Humour for The Common Man: How To Make The World Laugh", available in hardback from Penguin Books for £24.99.
soundahfekz
Member
"gaf, show me/explain to me/prove/sell me on"
no fuck you, how about googling shit on your own?
Oh and "discuss"
the fuck are you an olympic thread ref?
no fuck you, how about googling shit on your own?
Oh and "discuss"
the fuck are you an olympic thread ref?
This is so annoying.
Thunder Monkey
Banned
I'm over on the gaming side a lot, and I can say with certainty that it isn't this.
Half of the people on that side will completely write off another person in their post. If you think such and such way then you don't know gaming or something equally as dumb.
At least the tech savvy side of gaming tends to be willing to explain without getting into hyperbole why something works the way it does. As long as you're reading a post by someone actually savvy though.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
I don't get how being called "sweetie" could be in any shape or form negative.
NinjaBoiX
Member
Exactly!
When I've had an encounter like that where the nice lady in the shop referred to me by a pet name, I usually leave feeling I've had a fulfilling customer experience.
I didn't say it happened just as often to men, nor would I. I said it happens all the time to men. A lot more than you would think.
AnotherNils
Member
It's totally condescending. It's what mother's call their daughters.
Closest male version I can think of at the moment is addressing a guy as "son."
Steve Youngblood
Member
This really isn't something that I feel like becoming entrenched in, as I don't have strong opinions one way or another, but the gist of it is that phrases like "sweetie" are kind of overly affectionate terms that I would argue aren't proper for strangers if I were writing an etiquette guide. Whether the intent is to just be wholesome and sweet or not, calling random women "doll," or "sweetheart," or what have you come across as sexist anachronisms. The word sweetheart is something I would advise using in two situations: a pet name for your significant other, and when you're trying to be comically sexist with something like "hey sweetheart, why don't you march those pretty little gams over to the bar and get me a beer."
But, again, this isn't something that I'm fired up about that necessitates a long back and forth as far as I'm concerned.
This also happens regularly to me and in my area. Older men call younger men "son" pretty often. It isn't condescending. I don't think it is, at least. A man who calls a younger man "son" is probably around the same age as a woman who calls a younger man "hun" or "sweetie". It's a generational and possibly regional thing.
NinjaBoiX
Member
I must admit, I referred to a mate as "son" over the phone once, and another pal sitting next to me thought it sounded really condescending.
I guess it could be construed as such, but it was intended affectionately!
I hate it when a member of the fairer sex refers to me as "mate". It just sounds wrong.
(I think I'm starting to understand the other side of the argument now! The power of context...)
The Librarian
Banned
When you're trying to be condescending in an argument as Eric Erickson recently learned or just condescending in general, and when you know a person wouldn't use it if you were the opposite gender.
But, and this seems to be getting lost in the conversation, I've been primarily saying its annoying.
Dr. Zoidberg
Member
Here are some thread topics I hate with an example:
Is/Does Anyone Else X? - "Is Anyone Else Tired of FPS Games?"
GAF, Sell Me on X - "GAF, Sell Me on a Vita"
GAF, Shoud I X? - "GAF, Should I Eat Lunch Today?"
I <did something nobody gives a shit about> today - "I Sold My PS3 Today"
The worst is thread-topics that take news and intentionally add a smidgen of commentary that ensures that the thread starts on the wrong foot - "Nintendo Announces New Third-Party Plan for Wii U (lol)" The thread is going to have a hard enough time maintaining any serious discussion, but poisoning the well from the get-go won't help.
Is/Does Anyone Else X? - "Is Anyone Else Tired of FPS Games?"
GAF, Sell Me on X - "GAF, Sell Me on a Vita"
GAF, Shoud I X? - "GAF, Should I Eat Lunch Today?"
I <did something nobody gives a shit about> today - "I Sold My PS3 Today"
The worst is thread-topics that take news and intentionally add a smidgen of commentary that ensures that the thread starts on the wrong foot - "Nintendo Announces New Third-Party Plan for Wii U (lol)" The thread is going to have a hard enough time maintaining any serious discussion, but poisoning the well from the get-go won't help.
Thank you man T_T you guys are a lovable bunch, but sometimes I feel that I should just stick to lurking, rather than posting here. Being stubborn + debate + massive internet public = very bad combo for me and everyone around.
*scratches head* I dunno, here in Spain it is very typical to say "sweetheart", "dear" or even "cute" in order to adress both boys and girls. It sounds indeed old fashioned and overtly affectionated, but I cannot picture a grandma or a main street store clerk without talking these type of expressions. I personally find them candid and charming in a way, even if they make me feel as if I was their grandson or something.
AnotherNils
Member
I would see it happening more in the south, so yeah, I'm sure region plays a part. But seriously, I'm not your son. MIght as well call me "boy".
As a side note, The girl on big bang always addresses Sheldon as "sweetie" when she's being condescending.
NFL_GAF keeps calling me a bitch and it makes me sad. Sometimes I even get called a cunt. I mean I do not even have a vagina, it is strange.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
You should get upset when someone is saying something with bad intent. You shouldn't really add bad intent because someone for some reason calls you "sweetie".
If I met someone who said 'son' to me, I can't say if it would have upset me since I don't know the situation.
I have been called son by random people in situations where they were in no way trying to vex me, and therefore I left those situations thinking "Oh what a nice person".
You're only going to ruin things for yourself if you add or change the intent of people's actions when things might be much more harmless than that.
Capital_Five
Member
Some customers at my job will call me "buddy", presumably to be demeaning because I am young. Really upsets me. Using nicknames like that sarcastically or in that fashion I mentioned seems like the default way they are used these days. Nobody has ever called me kid just because I was younger. Its always a tone. Hate all those little names.
Baraka in the White House
2-Terms of Kombat
The whole, "I'm not being an asshole, I'm being informative," attitude that some posters just ooze with.
Steve Youngblood
Member
You guys said most of mine.
Certain cliches rub me wrong. "Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" is probably the most grating. But I'm fine with some other cliches for some reason.
I hate the overuse of extreme emotional responses, like "Utterly disgusting." Yes, some things are worthy of it. The man that ate the homeless guy's face, that is "utterly disgusting." Syria using chemical weapons on its people is "utterly disgusting." The opposing political party proposing a bill you don't like is not "utterly disgusting."
No, he probably wouldn't have, you're right. He probably would have said, "man," "son," "dude," "bro," or some other male-specific pleasantry, because you'd be male.
I mean, I get that you can see "hon" as condescending (even if unintended), just as "boy" or "son" can be condescending. But its adult-to-child vibe is where the offense lies, not in its gender specificity. "She," "he," "his," "her,"... Gender is important, and we've imbued it into our language. So yes, it's technically sexism by the dictionary definition, as it's discriminating the words used based on your gender, but it's not wrong, just as a straight guy only asking out women is technically sexist yet not wrong.
I just find it really strange that you expressed frustration at people assuming you're a guy on here, then to support that frustration, you express frustration at someone acknowledging you're a girl. Again, I can see why it's frustrating in both situations, but they seem completely unrelated, as the first is frustrating because your gender is important to you, and the second is frustrating because "sweetheart" can give off the child-vibe.
Certain cliches rub me wrong. "Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" is probably the most grating. But I'm fine with some other cliches for some reason.
I hate the overuse of extreme emotional responses, like "Utterly disgusting." Yes, some things are worthy of it. The man that ate the homeless guy's face, that is "utterly disgusting." Syria using chemical weapons on its people is "utterly disgusting." The opposing political party proposing a bill you don't like is not "utterly disgusting."
No, he probably wouldn't have, you're right. He probably would have said, "man," "son," "dude," "bro," or some other male-specific pleasantry, because you'd be male.
I mean, I get that you can see "hon" as condescending (even if unintended), just as "boy" or "son" can be condescending. But its adult-to-child vibe is where the offense lies, not in its gender specificity. "She," "he," "his," "her,"... Gender is important, and we've imbued it into our language. So yes, it's technically sexism by the dictionary definition, as it's discriminating the words used based on your gender, but it's not wrong, just as a straight guy only asking out women is technically sexist yet not wrong.
I just find it really strange that you expressed frustration at people assuming you're a guy on here, then to support that frustration, you express frustration at someone acknowledging you're a girl. Again, I can see why it's frustrating in both situations, but they seem completely unrelated, as the first is frustrating because your gender is important to you, and the second is frustrating because "sweetheart" can give off the child-vibe.
Mass Effect
Member
Another thing, attempted manufactured thread backfiring.
Which is strange since I thought those were banned on here, except for that one guy in the NBA thread who says peace all the time. But I'm starting to see them more often now.
"In before the __________________ fanboys..."
Pre-emptive arguing with non-existent people and the circlejerk that follows before the target turns up at the end of page two, already pissed off and defensive and giving the thread nowhere to go.
"WOW, IT'S TODAY'S NINTENDOOMED THREAD!"
Wow, it's today's cunt with absolutely nothing to add but drive-by-posting just to shit up the discussion.
Pre-emptive arguing with non-existent people and the circlejerk that follows before the target turns up at the end of page two, already pissed off and defensive and giving the thread nowhere to go.
"WOW, IT'S TODAY'S NINTENDOOMED THREAD!"
Wow, it's today's cunt with absolutely nothing to add but drive-by-posting just to shit up the discussion.
They're strange folk who just write their signatures in line the post itself. Actual signatures aren't enabled on GAF.
A ton of people are really sanctimonious and judgemental, using moral superiority as an all-purpose bludgeon even if they're total fucking hypocrites for doing so. Fortunately, some don't always get away with it, and one of the most hated persons on the forum has it coming for doing this.
I'm not even talking about social issues or anything like that.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
It was brought up before, but the attitude among some members that all juniors are stupid is annoying. The only difference is that we've been members of GAF for a shorter amount of time and have made less posts.
These plus misspelled/grammatically incorrect thread titles.
Responses like this bother me as well. Poster One complains about something and another poster is responding by doing the exact same thing poster One complained about. It can be in good fun, but more often than not it's even worse than a drive-by post, because it attacks the emotions of poster One directly.
Also, it's neither witty nor terribly funny - even if used 'ironically'. Most threads that have complaints in the OP have at least half a dozen posters that respond this way.
Only pun-age is worse.
You would say that, junior. When I became a member earlier this year, I felt an instantaneous 10-point jump in IQ. You'll see when you hit that 300 posts mark.
In all seriousness, I agree with you when it happens as you say, but I think most people refer to a junior status when they think you're getting close to violating the TOS. It's natural to assume that juniors would be less familiar with the TOS than members, especially when they're saying something highly controversial or inflammatory. It's rare that I actually see someone's credibility questioned due to their junior status, and even then, it's mostly if they claim some insider information, which again has nothing to do with intelligence. I have seen what you describe on other forums, though, especially at IGN boards back in the day.
the political correctness of GAF as a whole is starting to get really fucking annoying. Step out of line in any thread from the hive mind and be prepared to have them shit down your throats.
what ever happened to free speech ? instead of circle jerking each other to death and ejaculation ?
what ever happened to free speech ? instead of circle jerking each other to death and ejaculation ?
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
I had my junior status used against me as an attempt at an insult twice, and it was because someone disagreed with me, not because I was in violation or nearly in violation of the TOS.
I'm also quite a bit higher than 300, but with the number of members I suppose these things take time.
This is how it works in the real world. You're judged by your rank and when you finally make it out of the trenches you treat those beneath you the way it was done to you. Personally I don't recall ever being treated differently as a junior vs. regular member and only rarely have I seen someone dismiss someone else because they were a junior.
You have the right to free speech, others have the right to criticize your speech. People who bring up the free speech argument always seem to get that confused.
People insisting there is a hive mind.
If GAF was a bloody hive mind why the hell would there be so many differing opinions?
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
You have an interesting concept of the "real world." The choice to treat someone badly because you were treated badly is just that, a choice. This is neither a necessity nor a universal truth.
I think the joke is that he can't put Steven on ignore, because he's a mod.
Also, cry about it.
Ah. Yeah, I just haven't seen it. Doesn't mean it doesn't happen, though. I'm curious now. Got the links?
Oh, yep, way higher. A lot more posts than me, too. The member requirement is 300 posts and 3 months since your account was activated. So you should become a member in three days or so.
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