Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years

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Man, I need to get out more and quit this online dating business, it's emotionally draining, cold and getting me absolutely nowhere. My social life is down the shitter though. All my friends are in long lasting relationships and there are two babies on the way. Clubbing has pretty much been completely off the menu for the past 2 years. The last time I properly went "out", as in to a club, was probably in July during my holiday in France. And given that I was a 25 year old surrounded by 16-17 year olds, that wasn't exactly a roaring success. Drinking a beer at our regular pub doesn't result in meeting any new people (women) either.
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dude, I feel ya. so far online dating didn't do any good for me either but meeting an interesting person in real life is even more difficult.
so it just comes down to luck I guess...keep your online profile but don't neglect going out either. combining the chances seems like the best way (at least that's what I'm doing right now). I mean you don't have to go clubbing...maybe visit some concerts/shows etc. just stay somewhat active and don't isolate yourself, that would only make it worse. I've made that experience before
 
dude, I feel ya. so far online dating didn't do any good for me either but meeting an interesting person in real life is even more difficult.
so it just comes down to luck I guess...keep your online profile but don't neglect going out either. combining the chances seems like the best way (at least that's what I'm doing right now). I mean you don't have to go clubbing...maybe visit some concerts/shows etc. just stay somewhat active and don't isolate yourself, that would only make it worse. I've made that experience before

Ah, you are also trying online? Weird that you have no luck with it :/ If I was younger...
 
Ah, you are also trying online? Weird that you have no luck with it :/ If I was younger...

recently made an account out of frustration & boredom but frustration only grew :D
also one problem with online dating is that you can really get along exchanging messages and stuff but "face to face chemistry" is a whole different thing.
 
recently made an account out of frustration & boredom but frustration only grew :D
also one problem with online dating is that you can really get along exchanging messages and stuff but "face to face chemistry" is a whole different thing.
Yep. That's exactly it. So many times where it really clicked via text but there were no sparks in real life. When you've met some offline you already have a decent impression of their looks, voice, manerisms and basic chemistry. With online dating it's basically a crapshoot, for both parties involved.

I'm sure you have plenty of interrested people hanging around your profile though Trab!
 
recently made an account out of frustration & boredom but frustration only grew :D
also one problem with online dating is that you can really get along exchanging messages and stuff but "face to face chemistry" is a whole different thing.

Same here, but for me it has actually worked quite well so far. I have exchanged many long messages before meeting in person, though, so when we met it felt quite natural somehow.

I don't know, in my case, I really suck at picking up girls at parties or when going out (even worse at concerts). I feel really awkward starting conversations with somebody I don't know at all, I'll just talk about really obvious crap, then feel lame about it and all my confidence goes out the window in a sec. Online is way better because you can get to know each other, make jokes and feel more confident so that in the actual date you have an idea of what you want to talk about.

Also, I think meeting people out there is actually quite random, much more than online, where at least you can find people that you find interesting and very easily spot when somebody is a basketcase. My last 2 relations were with girls I met while going out and they were quite terrible (specially one of them, kind of traumatized about it still...) because I did not know them enough before getting deeper into the relation. Actually, I'm thinking that if I had met those 2 girls online maybe I would have actually passed :P
 
Yep. That's exactly it. So many times where it really clicked via text but there were no sparks in real life. When you've met some offline you already have a decent impression of their looks, voice, manerisms and basic chemistry. With online dating it's basically a crapshoot, for both parties involved.

I'm sure you have plenty of interrested people hanging around your profile though Trab!

That's why you should keep texting/chatting to under a month when meeting someone from online. You really don't know who this person is until you meet them. Sometimes there's sparks, sometimes not.

I've used off and on for years and have had lots of success with it. I'm 28 now, and it certainly helped me make up for lost time with it. hahaha.

I was dating someone for about month recently - very smart and pretty. Sadly, she told she's not in a stable place right now, so she's not looking for anything long-term (I am). It sucks. but I ended up ending it, since I am actually looking for longterm. Ah well.
 
Any tips for someone in my situation: 25 years old, average looking (but losing what little hair he's left), full time job, all friends in long lasting relationships (some with kids on the way).
Turn your hobbies into social activities or find new hobbies where you can meet people? Take (fun?) classes? Speed dating?
 
Yep. That's exactly it. So many times where it really clicked via text but there were no sparks in real life. When you've met some offline you already have a decent impression of their looks, voice, manerisms and basic chemistry. With online dating it's basically a crapshoot, for both parties involved.

I'm sure you have plenty of interrested people hanging around your profile though Trab!

interested people... yeah some. interesting people...meh not so much.
this probably sounds super picky but if you guys saw some of the messages you would think differently. a lot of them are just stuff like "hey babe/sweety", not to mention those who can't even manage full sentences or basic spelling.
just saying that quantity isn't quality ;p

Speed Dating... now that's something I'd never do, I'd feel terrible, like if I'm in some short of dating reality show.
si. I'd feel so weird. but I don't know...it just might be the right thing to do for some people
 
recently made an account out of frustration & boredom but frustration only grew :D
also one problem with online dating is that you can really get along exchanging messages and stuff but "face to face chemistry" is a whole different thing.

Make your profile more assertive so that it alienates the type that would just say "hey baby." Lots of sarcasm. In other words, come off like a bitch but in a good way.
 
interested people... yeah some. interesting people...meh not so much.
this probably sounds super picky but if you guys saw some of the messages you would think differently. a lot of them are just stuff like "hey babe/sweety", not to mention those who can't even manage full sentences or basic spelling.
just saying that quantity isn't quality ;p
I'm interesting as all hell IMO*. But not on online dating messaging. I barely know how to say anything beyond "hi there". =(


* uh, for specific tastes, anyways. I can easily see how someone who doesn't care for anything I do would think I'm super boring, but then again I would never message someone like that...
 
Make your profile more assertive so that it alienates the type that would just say "hey baby." Lots of sarcasm. In other words, come off like a bitch but in a good way.
I tried! my self-summary is a colonel kurtz quotation from apocalypse now for fuck's sake hahah.
also among other stuff my personality test (unintentionally!) already states that I'm "arrogant", "sloppy" & "less trusting"- I was actually worried about the bitch level right there but most guys don't even seem to bother looking at that apparently :D
may I take this opportunity to say that I don't like that fucking personality test at all

I'm interesting as all hell IMO*. But not on online dating messaging. I barely know how to say anything beyond "hi there". =(


* uh, for specific tastes, anyways. I can easily see how someone who doesn't care for anything I do would think I'm super boring, but then again I would never message someone like that...

hm maybe you should mention something you liked in his/her profile for instance. you don't have to say much but something simple like "hi" almost never sparks my interest & I think that goes for most people. keep in mind that's giving your first impression and you're introducing yourself with what you're saying and the way you're saying it & one or two words don't tell much about your personality
 
I tried! my self-summary is a colonel kurtz quotation from apocalypse now for fuck's sake hahah.
also among other stuff my personality test (unintentionally!) already states that I'm "arrogant", "sloppy" & "less trusting"- I was actually worried about the bitch level right there but most guys don't even seem to bother looking at that apparently :D
may I take this opportunity to say that I don't like that fucking personality test at all

I can't even recall if I took that. Also some people are just going to holler because that's all they can do. This is why I told people in the OKC thread that they have to message with something much better than "hello gorgeous." Best message I've received on there is still "pizza or sushi", short enough to see in the inbox and vastly different from everything else.
 
I tried! my self-summary is a colonel kurtz quotation from apocalypse now for fuck's sake hahah.
also among other stuff my personality test (unintentionally!) already states that I'm "arrogant", "sloppy" & "less trusting"- I was actually worried about the bitch level right there but most guys don't even seem to bother looking at that apparently :D
may I take this opportunity to say that I don't like that fucking personality test at all

Just tell them you will never let them through your Touch Barrier.
 
This thread is always so interesting and informative. I think I spend too much time on here. I'd go spend time with my own friends but:

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On Wednesday I'm gonna ask that one girl I bitched about a couple of days ago if she's seeing anyone. If I don't do it I'm gonna need some very severe consequences.
 
I can't even recall if I took that. Also some people are just going to holler because that's all they can do. This is why I told people in the OKC thread that they have to message with something much better than "hello gorgeous." Best message I've received on there is still "pizza or sushi", short enough to see in the inbox and vastly different from everything else.
I literally JUST did that. The response: "Eeeh, because of your second question, I've decided NOT to talk to you". My first question was simply asking what her definition of being treated nice was (as that was all her profile stated as dating requirements). I guess she took it as me offering to buy her dinner. I'm seriously losing faith here... To top it off, this Saturday I got called a creep for trying to wave in a friend of a friend to our group. This shit's getting stupid :lol
 
I literally JUST did that. The response: "Eeeh, because of your second question, I've decided NOT to talk to you". My first question was simply asking what her definition of being treated nice was (as that was all her profile stated as dating requirements). I guess she took it as me offering to buy her dinner. I'm seriously losing faith here... To top it off, this Saturday I got called a creep for trying to wave in a friend of a friend to our group. This shit's getting stupid :lol

Well see now you can write her off entirely because who gets that offended by such a question? Ask yourself if you would want to date this person.
 
Well see now you can write her off entirely because who gets that offended by such a question? Ask yourself if you would want to date this person.
Well yeah, for sure :) Not that I should've needed to, but I explained myself and she responded with sushi, so I'm not that interested anymore anyway ;)

Edit: It comes off as a shit test in hindsight. They come so rarely that I get caught off guard.
 
So I have a sort of predicament going on right now. There's this girl who plays on my soccer team that I met about a month ago, who my group of friends has quickly integrated into our little circle. I see her probably 2 or 3 times a week now and we all text each other in a group text. I'm definitely attracted to her but there's some complications.

My best friend is also on the team with us, and it became very aware to me right off the bat that he's also interested in her. Kinda shitty, but we're all adults here. I decided to ask him about it, just to gauge his interest, and seeing as he's kind of an emotionally cold person, he wouldn't really come right out and say it. When it came right down to it, he said "he didn't wan't to jeopardize the team and that if something happened, that we should let each other know."

I didn't really like the way he put it, essentially making it out to be a sort of game. We both promised not to fuck each other over in any way, and that's good, but it's still awkward. Now we still have two months left until the end of our season, and it would be very hard for me to ask her out and risk anything awkward happening between us and messing up the team. She's the only girl on our team and we need at least one.

Another wrinkle is the fact that someone else on our team has already tried making a move on her, although he was much more obvious, and shall we say, sexual about it. She shot him down immediately, but she definitely seemed slightly fazed by the whole thing. Of course, I'm not as overtly sexual about my intentions as he was, so I'm not really worried about creeping her out or anything.

I'm just not sure how to react here. I've got a girl who's recently joined our group of friends, and a best friend who is also interested. Everything seems to be peachy right now, but sadly I favor my friends odds better than mine and feel if I was going to do something it should be sooner rather than later, but don't want to mess up the team in any way which doesn't end until November. I also feel that if I do ask her to do something together alone, she'll figure out what I'm doing and my friend will most likely give me shit for it too. We have spent a lot of time together in the last few weeks, even talking for over 2 hours in a parking lot last night, but my friend was also there. I just want to make sure I tread carefully and not have everything come crashing down at once.

Whelp I'm already fucked. Was taking a shower and she texted to see if anyone wanted to go to a hockey game with her tomorrow night alone, and my friend said no because he had class and then changed his mind and said he would skip to go with her. All of this happened while I was in there. I'm just so pissed off right now.
 
Okay guys, how can I curb my jealousy. I was not really a jealous guy, but with my current relationship I feel a bit insecure about her. It's pretty unfounded, and apart from her being flirty with everyone (boys and girls) there's not much to be jealous of.

Things that trigger it are certain wordings about things like her guy friends, and her being overly friendly with certain guys. Help?
 
Whelp I'm already fucked. Was taking a shower and she texted to see if anyone wanted to go to a hockey game with her tomorrow night alone, and my friend said no because he had class and then changed his mind and said he would skip to go with her. All of this happened while I was in there. I'm just so pissed off right now.

Sorry dude but you missed the boat. Don't pursue anything more than friendship at this point, otherwise you risk mucking things up with your buddy. Let it go.
 
I posted this in the other thread but it died. Would still like some advice.

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So here's my current situation. I'll try and make it short.

I take a few classes at my local college to get another certification added to my teaching license. I also substitute teach. One day, a few weeks ago, I subbed and had class that afternoon. While waiting for the teacher to show up (door is locked, this is a weekly occurrence), a girl starts talking to another girl about her day. She says she subbed this particular day and it just so happened to be the same school I was at. I told her and we started talking for a few minutes.

Early the next week, I sub at this school. This girl does too. I'm there a bit earlier than she is. As soon as she shows up, she walks over and starts chatting with me, mainly about this class we're in. After the secretary shows up with our schedules, I go to my class and she goes to hers. Don't see her the rest of the day.

At the end of the week and the following week, when I have class, I'm waiting outside for the teacher to show and this girl arrives, immediately walks over to me, stands next to me, and we talk for about 5-10 minutes, mainly about if either of us subbed during the week, which'll lead to other topics. Once class starts, though, we head in, she sits at her table and I sit at mine. At the end of class, we have a quiz and, once you complete it, you can leave so we never leave at the same time.

I'm thinking about asking her out but I got a few questions:

- Does the standing next to me mean anything or is she just being friendly? She does have friends in the class so I'm kinda leaning towards the latter. If not, yeah, I'm ridiculously oblivious.

- Is it too early to ask her out? I mean, we've only spoken three or four times for about 5-10 minutes each. Should we chat a bit more before I ask? I only ask this question because I know I'm a few years older than her and I don't want to seem creepy, only speaking to her a couple of times before "making a move," so to speak.

Any help/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
 
There is no time like the present. Ask her out. And don't read into too much. That is how you start to over think things.
 
Sorry dude but you missed the boat. Don't pursue anything more than friendship at this point, otherwise you risk mucking things up with your buddy. Let it go.
You're kidding, right?

Omgkitty, you realize - or ought to - that her asking for someone to go to a hockey game with her wasn't the same as asking for a steady, exclusive boyfriend?

Yes, your friend has one step up on you now, but I don't think you'd be wrong to ask her out. (Not that she'll necessarily be into you. And maybe she and your friend will hit it off so well that you will be SOL. But IMO now is not quite the time to give up.)

That said, in a similar situation, my sister disagreed with me on just where the boundaries of honorable friendship lay, so opinions vary.

edit: BTW, I was in this situation myself earlier this year and I felt I gave up way too early, so that's where I'm coming from on this.
 
Haven't really popped into this thread but have been thinking about something for a while and was curious to get some thoughts on it.

Know this girl from a few parties and some random run-ins, and kind of interested although never ended up getting her contact info or anything.

I know we have three mutual friends on facebook (one close friend who is currently off FB for the time being, and two random acquaintances), and often times thought about just adding her and firing a message.

I think the fact I haven't done this all summer speaks to what I feel about this sort of approach but wonder if I am over-thinking this.
 
Haven't really popped into this thread but have been thinking about something for a while and was curious to get some thoughts on it.

Know this girl from a few parties and some random run-ins, and kind of interested although never ended up getting her contact info or anything.

I know we have three mutual friends on facebook (one close friend who is currently off FB for the time being, and two random acquaintances), and often times thought about just adding her and firing a message.

I think the fact I haven't done this all summer speaks to what I feel about this sort of approach but wonder if I am over-thinking this.

Dunno, add her? What's the worst that could happen. Snoop a bit (don't be too creepy about it), and decide whether or not to shooting her a message is appropriate (like if there's a bf.)
 
Haven't really popped into this thread but have been thinking about something for a while and was curious to get some thoughts on it.

Know this girl from a few parties and some random run-ins, and kind of interested although never ended up getting her contact info or anything.

I know we have three mutual friends on facebook (one close friend who is currently off FB for the time being, and two random acquaintances), and often times thought about just adding her and firing a message.

I think the fact I haven't done this all summer speaks to what I feel about this sort of approach but wonder if I am over-thinking this.

If you add her, (Key: and she adds you back) don't shoot her a message right away, give it a day or two. Play it cool.


If you decide not to add her now, and bump into her again, start up a conversation and ask her out, and get her number. Don't bother with Facebook.
 
hm maybe you should mention something you liked in his/her profile for instance. you don't have to say much but something simple like "hi" almost never sparks my interest & I think that goes for most people. keep in mind that's giving your first impression and you're introducing yourself with what you're saying and the way you're saying it & one or two words don't tell much about your personality

Fair enough! It's kinda tougher on Tinder if you're messaging someone who has nothing particularly interesting in their profile or shared likes.

(then why was I messaging these people? Cause it's Tinder, I guess we just liked how each other looked and then I was moving on to the next step of seeing if there was anything else in common.)

BTW, related:

"5 Reasons Your Online Dating Profile Isn't Working" http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-your-online-dating-profile-isnt-working/ I saw the Friendzone illustration in the kopite thread and wanted to find the source.
 
Can't sleep. I don't really know why I'm posting this as I'm not looking for advice but here goes... Met a girl from POF who I normally would have passed by from her profile but just decided to give it a shot and it worked out. We went on a 2nd date last night and it went perfect. We had a great conversation at the restaurant, nothing awkward happened or came up and after that I smoothly (for me) asked if she wanted to get a drink at a bar that was within walking distance. We had another conversation about random life stuff, she was really easy to talk to and I made her laugh a few times. At the end we kissed. Nothing really revelatory here but just wanted to share my so far successful online dating story.
 
Meh. Things have been meh, lately.

One girl is always trying to hang out with me, but doesn't show any romantic interest.
Another is showing some romantic interest, but has frequently declined to hang out with me. And the girl that is interested in me has stopped all contact.

I don't get people sometimes.
 
You're kidding, right?

Omgkitty, you realize - or ought to - that her asking for someone to go to a hockey game with her wasn't the same as asking for a steady, exclusive boyfriend?

Yes, your friend has one step up on you now, but I don't think you'd be wrong to ask her out. (Not that she'll necessarily be into you. And maybe she and your friend will hit it off so well that you will be SOL. But IMO now is not quite the time to give up.)

That said, in a similar situation, my sister disagreed with me on just where the boundaries of honorable friendship lay, so opinions vary.

edit: BTW, I was in this situation myself earlier this year and I felt I gave up way too early, so that's where I'm coming from on this.

I'll admit I overreacted last night. I was very angry for a good 10 minutes, and after talking to some friends I felt a lot better. I didn't necessarily think my chance was gone, but I knew they'd have a good few hours alone, and I hadn't had that chance yet, and it would have been perfect for me.

I think what hit me harder was that I felt stuck last night. I suddenly realized that if something happened between them, I couldn't really get away from her. She's already started hanging out with us more and I have to play with her once a week. I also couldn't say anything to my friend about all of this because I'd look like a jerk for giving him crap over it. It wouldn't really be fair to do that, and then I'd be the one out in the cold, and yet still suffering because I'd have to be around them. It's really kind of a shitty situation for both of us and I really wish I wasn't in this mess. Also, this is my best friend I'm talking about, so I couldn't simply just blow him off.
 
I'll admit I overreacted last night. I was very angry for a good 10 minutes, and after talking to some friends I felt a lot better. I didn't necessarily think my chance was gone, but I knew they'd have a good few hours alone, and I hadn't had that chance yet, and it would have been perfect for me.

I think what hit me harder was that I felt stuck last night. I suddenly realized that if something happened between them, I couldn't really get away from her. She's already started hanging out with us more and I have to play with her once a week. I also couldn't say anything to my friend about all of this because I'd look like a jerk for giving him crap over it. It wouldn't really be fair to do that, and then I'd be the one out in the cold, and yet still suffering because I'd have to be around them. It's really kind of a shitty situation for both of us and I really wish I wasn't in this mess. Also, this is my best friend I'm talking about, so I couldn't simply just blow him off.


How good is your poker face?
 
How good is your poker face?

Haha it took every ounce of my being not to go off on his ass last night. I made some joke about me missing the text because I was in the shower and he said "Sorry Broseph" and I wanted to just clock him in the face. I kept my cool and didn't say anything though. Me a couple of years ago would have fucked everything up and said something stupid by now, but I just joked around and acted like it was nothing. I am going to play soccer after work with just the two of them, so I guess I'll see how that goes.
 
Haha it took every ounce of my being not to go off on his ass last night. I made some joke about me missing the text because I was in the shower and he said "Sorry Broseph" and I wanted to just clock him in the face. I kept my cool and didn't say anything though. Me a couple of years ago would have fucked everything up and said something stupid by now, but I just joked around and acted like it was nothing. I am going to play soccer after work with just the two of them, so I guess I'll see how that goes.

That's the attitude. Ignore her a bit too when she's around so she starts to question herself about what happened, but if she asks, just make a joke and act cool while keeping it short. You can say something like "oh, I was taking a shower and I didn't see my phone until way later". But only if she asks.

He probably thinks he already won the war because of this, but it was just a random battle. No big deal, there is a lot more to go if you still want to pursue her.
 
So Gaf, I've been trying to get a better self confidence by going out to the gym so I can try to talk to women. I've been going everyday and doing some light stuff for the past 2 months. So I took a week off last week and started again today and I can do more than before which is good :) but my self confidence isn't getting any better. I'm still "fat" but I at least I stand more upright than I did before.

But no matter what I write on badoo or any dating site nobody replies back. So what should I do? I really can't speak or flirt face 2 face since my brain would turn into mush :/
 
So Gaf, I've been trying to get a better self confidence by going out to the gym so I can try to talk to women. I've been going everyday and doing some light stuff for the past 2 months. So I took a week off last week and started again today and I can do more than before which is good :) but my self confidence isn't getting any better. I'm still "fat" but I at least I stand more upright than I did before.

But no matter what I write on badoo or any dating site nobody replies back. So what should I do? I really can't speak or flirt face 2 face since my brain would turn into mush :/
I think I said something about this on the page before... try something more than "hi". maybe why you decided to message in the first place... "really liked what you said about xy" etc.
 
I think I said something about this on the page before... try something more than "hi". maybe why you decided to message in the first place... "really liked what you said about xy" etc.

Oh I write more than hi, if they have a dog, I tell them it looks cute and ask its name and other stuff. Either I'm dumb or I'm the ugliest man on earth -_-
 
Oh I write more than hi, if they have a dog, I tell them it looks cute and ask its name and other stuff. Either I'm dumb or I'm the ugliest man on earth -_-

don't ask about the dog, ask about the guy/gal instead.
also maybe your profile isn't representing yourself/your personality/interests well :) that keeps me from answering sometimes too
 
So Gaf, I've been trying to get a better self confidence by going out to the gym so I can try to talk to women. I've been going everyday and doing some light stuff for the past 2 months. So I took a week off last week and started again today and I can do more than before which is good :) but my self confidence isn't getting any better. I'm still "fat" but I at least I stand more upright than I did before.

But no matter what I write on badoo or any dating site nobody replies back. So what should I do? I really can't speak or flirt face 2 face since my brain would turn into mush :/

From my experience, Badoo is crap and there's a lot of fake stuff. What country are you from? Have you tried non-free dating sites?
 
So Gaf, I've been trying to get a better self confidence by going out to the gym so I can try to talk to women. I've been going everyday and doing some light stuff for the past 2 months. So I took a week off last week and started again today and I can do more than before which is good :) but my self confidence isn't getting any better. I'm still "fat" but I at least I stand more upright than I did before.

But no matter what I write on badoo or any dating site nobody replies back. So what should I do? I really can't speak or flirt face 2 face since my brain would turn into mush :/
First off, change your mindset: you should be going to the gym not for women but for yourself! Next, keep going. You got the habit down so just keep at it, don't be discouraged by the fact that it takes time.

This is just my own personal experience regarding online dating: I never think about what I'm going to write. Last week I decided to send the same message of "What would you say to get your attention if you were me?" to 4 girls. I got one to reply and she was actually very attractive, I just didn't care to take it further (don't ask, my mind is everywhere these days).

My point is that you shouldn't think OR care about why your messages are failing. In fact, I'd say you're better off making a really sexual joke or asking something completely random as a first message. Remember that girls get "hi" a lot, just as men do (I get so many "hey there" messages that I just cringe). If all your messages are failing then I'd say you should just experiment and have fun with it.
 
So Gaf, I've been trying to get a better self confidence by going out to the gym so I can try to talk to women. I've been going everyday and doing some light stuff for the past 2 months. So I took a week off last week and started again today and I can do more than before which is good :) but my self confidence isn't getting any better. I'm still "fat" but I at least I stand more upright than I did before.

But no matter what I write on badoo or any dating site nobody replies back. So what should I do? I really can't speak or flirt face 2 face since my brain would turn into mush :/

It takes a lot more than 2 months at the gym to have a real noticeable impact, you gotta keep at it. Really same thing with dating sites and talking to women just gotta keep trying and trying to learn from your mistakes. Really though i'd try and focus on any things you can improve on yourself and work from there. That could be job, friends, hobbies whatever,
 
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