PsihoPerihelion
Member
What exactly do you mean with feelings? I told her already I like her and since then we have been closer than ever. I said that but nothing more. Something like "oh you make my life so much better" and that crap? I didn't.
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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
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What exactly do you mean with feelings? I told her already I like her and since then we have been closer than ever. I said that but nothing more. Something like "oh you make my life so much better" and that crap? I didn't.
I suppose one text to see where things are at won't be that bad, but anything after that will just turn you into 'that guy' who's leaving this girl all these messages. Just play it cool on the text I guess.
Because the line between being an excited guy and a pushy, needy one is thinner than you think. In general, the more you push, the less interested she will become, if for nothing else because you're too available.
RazorbackDB
Member
So is just that easy, the problem is that she and "someone else" are my friends and we hang out a lot, but i suppose i will have to find something to do by myself and get away for a while, it sucks but i don't wanna get between them either.
Thank you guys.
Alright, I'm not sure if this is the correct place but if it isn't I'll just delete it..
Anyhow, I have had a girlfriend for almost 1.5 years now which isn't that long but in that time period I have lost my friends and because I was such a tool I don't think I'm getting them back. Now my relationship feels like shit lately and I feel horrible.. I don't have my friends anymore and the ones I have don't have ant social life. My life really feels like a mess right now, I'm just doing nothing in school, I don't have any future plans and neither do I feel like my relationship is gonna last much longer. I'm thinking of going to the gym cause hey who knows maybe it'll bring some actual energy in my life and maybe I'll get to meet some people there..
Not sure if this'll help but hey atleast it felt good writing it down.
Anyhow, I have had a girlfriend for almost 1.5 years now which isn't that long but in that time period I have lost my friends and because I was such a tool I don't think I'm getting them back. Now my relationship feels like shit lately and I feel horrible.. I don't have my friends anymore and the ones I have don't have ant social life. My life really feels like a mess right now, I'm just doing nothing in school, I don't have any future plans and neither do I feel like my relationship is gonna last much longer. I'm thinking of going to the gym cause hey who knows maybe it'll bring some actual energy in my life and maybe I'll get to meet some people there..
Not sure if this'll help but hey atleast it felt good writing it down.
If it bothers you seeing them together (and that would be perfectly normal feelings to have), then I suggest you don't hang out with them as much. In my mind, without knowing much on your situation, you have two choices:
1- Cut of all ties and meet new people. Or even become friends again when you have gotten over her.
2- Be a big boy, move on, and still be friends.
Either way dude, don't get hung up on her. And definitely don't get in the way of their relationship. Probably the worst thing you can do.
Iknowthatfeelingbro.jpg
Why do you think the relationship won't last?
We have these constant fights, she always acts like nothing is going on while it's going downhill for half a year now. And as much as it pains me I just can't bring up the effort of always saying sorry this sorry that.. The only thing that's keeping me from breaking up right now is the loneliness I guess.. (I know this sound horrible and like I'm a selfish prick)
To give some more context I gave up my friends for her and they have given me up in return, just don't know what I'm going to do with myself..
To give some more context I gave up my friends for her and they have given me up in return, just don't know what I'm going to do with myself..
Break up with her. If you feel like its going nowhere, end it.
I did the same shit you are doing now, last year. I just ended up dragging the inevitable for a few more months. Wasn't worth the headaches, wasn't worth the time, I delayed the "getting over her" process, and could have use that time to better myself.
Loneliness is a terrible reason to be with someone. And yes, it is a selfish, dickish reason.
I will think of what you said tonight. Thank you for responding to me, what you said all seems so logical in one way but frightening in the other..
Goodnight or good day wherever you are.
Rodney McKay
Member
Thanks! Unfortunately I may have either gotten her number wrong or she gave me a fake one, haha. I texted her and got a wrong number response.
Oh well. I texted a variation of the number which will hopefully work, but if not I'm still glad I got out and tried.
It's been a great weekend and I'm ending it with (500) days of summer. Yesterday was supposed to be the one year anniversary for me and my ex had things not gone awry. I realize that the pain is still there but this movie truly is helping. Anyone with heartache over losing someone or feeling one-itis or someone feeling down over their dating woes, watch this movie asap. So many wisdoms and I don't want to spoil it. Just go see it.
Thanks, I needed something to do. Feeling pretty lonely. It's pretty crazy that someone can fuck you over yet you still can't get over your love for them. :/
This movie might help you gain some perspective.
My weekend was crazy. Thursday ended my around 8 month long cold streak and I gained new friends thanks to it. I also happened to see my ex for the first time since June for a brief second. On Friday, I ran into a girl I met this summer and have talked to online a bit, and she wanted my number and eventually came home with me last night for an after party (but she couldn't stay because of reasons. Might come by again tomorrow though). Great kisser for an 19 year old and she's of course adorable and smart. I have also seemed to be able to attract someone who I thought was way out of my league two years ago and she now has my number and may be up for a coffee sometime soon. Pretty good preparty last night with friends and someone I never thought I'd hear from again, much less get nude pictures from after like 15 minutes, contacted me during that party. One of the girls there has made it clear she isn't interested in me anymore, but tonight she said she'd like to have dinner with me sometime. The real party was too hot and I got a migraine attack of some sort and had to leave early and due to an online fight, I've seemingly lost a new found friend as quickly as she came into my life over very stupid reasons that haven't been sorted out yet. And while watching this movie I realized that neither me nor my ex contacted each other on our anniversary and it made me almost cry, as stupid as it sounds. I had planned for it for some time but totally forgot about it because of the amazing weekend. Mixed feelings about that for sure. But then I finished the movie and I now feel a lot better about myself and my life again :') Life doesn't have to be all depressing and gray, the heartache will pass if you let it. And you totally should let it pass if you actually want to live life /sappy story
Thanks, yeah it does sound pretty good spelled out like that. Stn can probably confirm that it isn't entirely out of the ordinary xD High note for sure though!
Bleh, guess I better watch it.
Recently found out that my ex will be getting married in a couple of months. The one that dumped me at the end of May, and definitely tried to make sure it wasn't because of some other guy.
Oh well, I'm happy she got what she wanted. Just wish she was honest with me. Would have loved to wished her congrats and all.
Recently found out that my ex will be getting married in a couple of months. The one that dumped me at the end of May, and definitely tried to make sure it wasn't because of some other guy.
Oh well, I'm happy she got what she wanted. Just wish she was honest with me. Would have loved to wished her congrats and all.
beat
Member
It was actually one of the deleted scenes of 500 Days that stuck with me the most.
In the diner when Tom's on a blind date with that other girl and whining about Summer to her, she asks him: "did she break your heart? Or did you?"
She replied!
She's too busy
But she said it could possibly work at night and she'll let me know. She did mention having a very busy schedule when we met so I don't think she's blowing me off. Still, not expecting anything. Though I should think of some 2nd date ideas just in case.
She's too busy
But she said it could possibly work at night and she'll let me know. She did mention having a very busy schedule when we met so I don't think she's blowing me off. Still, not expecting anything. Though I should think of some 2nd date ideas just in case.
paparazzo
Member
Any tips for hitting on cashiers when picking up food? (Obligatory: how do I approach a cashier?)
I was picking up food at a restaurant earlier this week and this cute cashier was flirting, I think. Pupils dilated, strong eye contact, stood close, very attentive, etc. She even complimented my not-so-special shirt when she returned with the food. I just said thanks as I do to pretty much all compliments. Was kicking myself somewhat as I walked out for not asking her number, but it seemed like kind of an awkward situation to ask someone out.
I was picking up food at a restaurant earlier this week and this cute cashier was flirting, I think. Pupils dilated, strong eye contact, stood close, very attentive, etc. She even complimented my not-so-special shirt when she returned with the food. I just said thanks as I do to pretty much all compliments. Was kicking myself somewhat as I walked out for not asking her number, but it seemed like kind of an awkward situation to ask someone out.
The Artful Dodger
Member
Next time you go through her line just ask if she would want to go out on her next day off. And if she says yes, then get her number.
IMHO most people aren't above lying to avoid having to face an awkward and uncomfortable situation.
Wasn't there a thread on that in OT a little while back? Be careful because its their job to be friendly. But if you're sure she was into you, you could just leave her your number as you're leaving the check-out. I went to a restaurant with my friends once and the waiter left his number with one of the girls, and now they're dating.
Wasn't there a thread on that in OT a little while back? Be careful because its their job to be friendly. But if you're sure she was into you, you could just leave her your number as you're leaving the check-out. I went to a restaurant with my friends once and the waiter left his number with one of the girls, and now they're dating.
I've left my number for a cute waitress before, never got a call. lol
The Artful Dodger
Member
You're supposed to leave a tip also.
PflargBlarg
Member
She replied!
She's too busy
Just don't get dicked around man. After going through it with one girl, I am very wary of any "I'm busy" response that doesn't also include a suggestion of a specific day where she's not busy.
Any who, had a really amazing weekend with the girl. I was just thinking last night that the level that we're at seems completely absurd for dating for only 2 weeks, even though I did know her decently well before we started. I mean, she's telling me stuff like how she doesn't understand how I'm making her feel the way she does, that she's never felt so comfortable and happy before, I mean she straight said to me "I am infatuated with you." I think normally I'd be freaking out but it does feel right to me as well.
To be clear, we're both 25, we've been in relationships before, we know how those felt. And y'know, it does scare me to have someone tell me that I have the power to crush them to pieces emotionally. I know, it's early and we're both still in crazy mode here, but it's been so intense it's completely new for me.
And hey, she got me to watch Breaking Bad, which most definitely is an awesome show.
Yeah, I'm not getting attached or anything, but we did text a little bit tonight so I think things are ok at the moment.
My first relationship went fast like that and while it was fun, make sure you're not overlooking any issues that could pop up later. For me, I'm going to have to adjust to the fact most relationships don't happen like that.
LOL nice burn! I did leave a nice tip, but still nada.
TurboLibre
Member
Haha. A couple months back I had a table with two girls and both left me their number.
They only left me a dollar tip though. I just laughed.
-ImaginaryInsider
Member
Vaguely related to a past dating-age...
Talked to a girl months ago, turned into a long distance friend via email. Randomly after a year of sending roughly 2 emails a month, I come to find out she trashed me to a group of her friends saying I was bothering her... well this gets my friend involved, he asks her if I'm bothering her and if he should tell me off, she denies that I'm bothering her and states I barely contact her.
Obviously I stop contacting her.
Now, 4 months later, I'm being asked by my friend to contact her again "because I'm nice and she feels bad" and because "she thinks I hate her"... based solely on her texting me once and me ignoring said text a month ago.
Should I bother to text her?
Both me and her are in a wedding soon and the bride and groom are worried it could be awkward if I don't... personally I don't feel I owe her anything and wouldn't know what to say at this point.
Talked to a girl months ago, turned into a long distance friend via email. Randomly after a year of sending roughly 2 emails a month, I come to find out she trashed me to a group of her friends saying I was bothering her... well this gets my friend involved, he asks her if I'm bothering her and if he should tell me off, she denies that I'm bothering her and states I barely contact her.
Obviously I stop contacting her.
Now, 4 months later, I'm being asked by my friend to contact her again "because I'm nice and she feels bad" and because "she thinks I hate her"... based solely on her texting me once and me ignoring said text a month ago.
Should I bother to text her?
Both me and her are in a wedding soon and the bride and groom are worried it could be awkward if I don't... personally I don't feel I owe her anything and wouldn't know what to say at this point.
Personally, I wouldn't bother wasting my time/effort on texting her and just make friendly small talk at the wedding.
Watch all of it :lol
As in
he breaking his own heart? Food for thought for sure!
Guiberu
Member
Gaf, I need help.
I've been seeing this girl for a few months. She's beautiful, intelligent and funny. We got along so perfectly.
We nearly didn't get together, as shortly before she had met up with some random from the net and fucked him. That's a big no-no for me. We talked about it, she assured me it was a one off "stupid mistake" and I got past it.
The other morning, I get up and see she's left herself logged in to a private little forum she frequents. She'd mentioned before that she talked about me and my daughter on there. Curious (I know, I know) I have a look about and start looking through her post history. First page is great. Made me feel really good about her and us. Then I go back a bit further. Turns out it wasn't a one off.
Before/Whilst/After fucking this random, she'd also been fucking her "best friend" of seven years. They went out a few years back, but this year decided to have a little fuck buddy action. They haven't done anything since we've been together, but virtually right up until we were - and she's still in contact with him. I was physically sick.
So I was lied to, about it being a one off. Then lied to several dozen more times, as we'd often discuss and debate the aspect of "casual sex" (as I say, I'm a big no-no. She thinks it's perfectly fine). Her argument was that she'd tried it once and realized it just wasn't for her. Which is obvious crap.
I confronted her. She admitted the lying. Apologized. Tried to justify it all. Tried to justify her twisted relationship with this guy (who, I'm of the opinion is only her "best friend" because she's had a perpetual crush on him for seven years and he can get some action when he feels like it). But it seems like she's not actually remorseful. Only that she got found out. She said she wanted to tell me later on in the relationship, when she hoped I would just be able to accept it. But we spoke about stuff like this so much. It was the make or break of our relationship even happening and she just glossed over it.
I feel like shit. I've been through all this before. She's spent these past months trying to restore my "faith" in women, all the time lying to my face and chatting with this fuckbuddy/friend/guy of hers.
Now I don't know what to do. I love her. My daughter adores her. But I don't think I can get over a) the fact that she had a fuck buddy in the first place or b) that she's lied about it all.
I've been seeing this girl for a few months. She's beautiful, intelligent and funny. We got along so perfectly.
We nearly didn't get together, as shortly before she had met up with some random from the net and fucked him. That's a big no-no for me. We talked about it, she assured me it was a one off "stupid mistake" and I got past it.
The other morning, I get up and see she's left herself logged in to a private little forum she frequents. She'd mentioned before that she talked about me and my daughter on there. Curious (I know, I know) I have a look about and start looking through her post history. First page is great. Made me feel really good about her and us. Then I go back a bit further. Turns out it wasn't a one off.
Before/Whilst/After fucking this random, she'd also been fucking her "best friend" of seven years. They went out a few years back, but this year decided to have a little fuck buddy action. They haven't done anything since we've been together, but virtually right up until we were - and she's still in contact with him. I was physically sick.
So I was lied to, about it being a one off. Then lied to several dozen more times, as we'd often discuss and debate the aspect of "casual sex" (as I say, I'm a big no-no. She thinks it's perfectly fine). Her argument was that she'd tried it once and realized it just wasn't for her. Which is obvious crap.
I confronted her. She admitted the lying. Apologized. Tried to justify it all. Tried to justify her twisted relationship with this guy (who, I'm of the opinion is only her "best friend" because she's had a perpetual crush on him for seven years and he can get some action when he feels like it). But it seems like she's not actually remorseful. Only that she got found out. She said she wanted to tell me later on in the relationship, when she hoped I would just be able to accept it. But we spoke about stuff like this so much. It was the make or break of our relationship even happening and she just glossed over it.
I feel like shit. I've been through all this before. She's spent these past months trying to restore my "faith" in women, all the time lying to my face and chatting with this fuckbuddy/friend/guy of hers.
Now I don't know what to do. I love her. My daughter adores her. But I don't think I can get over a) the fact that she had a fuck buddy in the first place or b) that she's lied about it all.
forknknife
Banned
Nah, you don't love her, she's not what you are looking for. Be grateful that you found about all this before going deeper into the relation and move on to the next one.
Guiberu
Member
I really wish it was that simple. I understand and somewhat agree with you though.
To clarify. We met on OkCupid back in July time. Met shortly after. It was a proper "Oh, this is amazing" situation.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
The only thing she has done wrong is lying about the extent to which she had engaged in casual sex prior to your relationship. The actual act of doing it is completely irrelevant to you and you shouldn't be annoyed by her engaging in it.
Lying so early is a bad sign, of course, but it seems to me that it was likely trying to appease you, which again is not a good thing, but is understandable. Though it is also understandable why you are upset by this.
If you actually like her then you should be able to work it out. Be frank and discuss the issue with her - and the issue here is lying, not casual sex. But if you don't think you can get over this, just end it. No need for bitterness.
Guiberu
Member
It's not irrelevant to me.
Then end it. Making things harder then it should be.
Guiberu
Member
I think it's the proximity, time wise, to when we started going out. The proximity of the person involved (i.e. her best "fucking" friend whom she has some magical, special relationship with or some shit).
And all of it has been compounded by her lying to me. Like, if she had told me about this shit before we got serious - then, we probably wouldn't have been serious. But also, maybe, I would have been able to decide on whether I could accept it with all of the information available.
Guiberu
Member
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
I didn't mean to be hostile to you, your preferences are your own. My point was that she didn't do anything wrong with it and it is not something for which you can legitimately complain to her about. This appears to be an intractable point for you; a definite indication that you should consider ending it. The lying is a different matter and is something that can be discussed if you still want to pursue a relationship.
Going through someone's personal and private internet stuff is a lot worse of an offense than what she's done. I'm surprised she didn't tell you to fuck off right then and there. You may think her behavior is unethical but yours is actually illegal pretty much all around the world. It's okay to have different viewpoints on having casual sex but yours isn't exactly modern. Dude, it's 2013, people fuck all over the place, deal with it. Yeah she's been lying about it and that's a major concern for sure, but she hasn't been unfaithful to you by sleeping with other guys when she's been with you. And she is allowed to talk to whoever she wants, no matter if she's slept with them or not. As someone once asked me, what era do you live in?
Guiberu
Member
Shit son. You make it sound like I hacked her account or something. She spends most of her time at my place, in front of my TV, hooked up to my PC, which is in turn linked to every one of my online accounts. I had no issue with her looking through my shit (if she did or not, I don't know) because I had nothing to hide.
I was curious. That's all. Not malicious. We had, or at least I thought we had, spoken about any "skeletons".
Equally. I'm fully aware of what year it is and what people are doing. That doesn't mean I have to agree with it, or go "Oh okay. People seem to think this is fine. I guess it's fine!". The world is a pretty shitty place right now. No-one has to grin and bear it, just because it's now acceptable to do certain things. I, personally, don't find it okay. That's my choice.
Besides dude. Could you honestly say that knowing your gf/bf was regularly talking to someone they had gushed over for seven years, and had semi-regular sex with wouldn't bother you? We're all human. We all have that little voice of doubt in the back of our heads. I personally don't think any relationship should have to cope with that. Life and love is hard enough as it is.
Edit: And this...after all these years, is the post that gets me member status.
Kung Fu Jedi
Member
It isn't really fair for anyone to judge another poster in this thread on there preferences. Sure, its the 21st century and things have changed a lot in terms of what is acceptable by society, but that doesn't mean someone else has to agree with it or accept those qualities in their significant other. Personally, I'm someone who says the past is the past and what the person does while with me is what counts, but not everyone feels that way. We have to respect their right to feel that way.
Guiberu: You can also justify snooping into her online affairs anyway you want, but it was still an invasion of her privacy. Particularly considering that you had to dig pretty deep into her posting history in that forum to discover things that made you feel uncomfortable. I'm the kind of person who doesn't think that it is ever okay to poking around in someone's email or personal messages/files. I won't go so far as to say that what you did was o the same level as her lying to you, but in my book, it is kind of close.
Neither is right however and only the two of you can decide if you can go on together. She lied, you invaded her privacy. The real issue is whether or not you can accept that she did some things in her past that you don't approve of and how much of an impact it has on the relationship that the two of you have now.
Guiberu: You can also justify snooping into her online affairs anyway you want, but it was still an invasion of her privacy. Particularly considering that you had to dig pretty deep into her posting history in that forum to discover things that made you feel uncomfortable. I'm the kind of person who doesn't think that it is ever okay to poking around in someone's email or personal messages/files. I won't go so far as to say that what you did was o the same level as her lying to you, but in my book, it is kind of close.
Neither is right however and only the two of you can decide if you can go on together. She lied, you invaded her privacy. The real issue is whether or not you can accept that she did some things in her past that you don't approve of and how much of an impact it has on the relationship that the two of you have now.
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