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[Guiberu]

It isn't really fair for anyone to judge another poster in this thread on there preferences. Sure, its the 21st century and things have changed a lot in terms of what is acceptable by society, but that doesn't mean someone else has to agree with it or accept those qualities in their significant other. Personally, I'm someone who says the past is the past and what the person does while with me is what counts, but not everyone feels that way. We have to respect their right to feel that way.

Guiberu: You can also justify snooping into her online affairs anyway you want, but it was still an invasion of her privacy. Particularly considering that you had to dig pretty deep into her posting history in that forum to discover things that made you feel uncomfortable. I'm the kind of person who doesn't think that it is ever okay to poking around in someone's email or personal messages/files. I won't go so far as to say that what you did was o the same level as her lying to you, but in my book, it is kind of close.

Neither is right however and only the two of you can decide if you can go on together. She lied, you invaded her privacy. The real issue is whether or not you can accept that she did some things in her past that you don't approve of and how much of an impact it has on the relationship that the two of you have now.

Thanks for this. General all round good advice.

You're right about the snooping. I did apologize to her for the digging. But I was also overcome with sadness and hurt at the time, so it probably didn't come across properly.

I don't know what to do, to be honest. I'm hurt and sad. I love her and miss her. I'm just not sure what's for the best.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Thanks for this. General all round good advice.

You're right about the snooping. I did apologize to her for the digging. But I was also overcome with sadness and hurt at the time, so it probably didn't come across properly.

I don't know what to do, to be honest. I'm hurt and sad. I love her and miss her. I'm just not sure what's for the best.

I completely understand. I have been in a position to where I've wanted to snoop in the past as well, and it usually was with someone that I wasn't completely secure with where things were at. With my current girlfriend I trust her completely and would never even think about it. Something tells me you had some nagging doubts, which is why you went looking.

Obviously you'll have to decide for yourself what works best for you. I'm not sure how old you or your girl are, but at a certain point in our lives, we all have a past. But we also change and evolve over time, and where we were a year or two (or longer) ago, may not be where we are at now. I know for myself, I am a far different person today than I was even just a few years ago. I wouldn't want someone to hold anything against me from back then when I've changed so much now.

It is up to you if you want to hold on to who she was or embrace who she is.

 

[Guiberu]

I completely understand. I have been in a position to where I've wanted to snoop in the past as well, and it usually was with someone that I wasn't completely secure with where things were at. With my current girlfriend I trust her completely and would never even think about it. Something tells me you had some nagging doubts, which is why you went looking.

Obviously you'll have to decide for yourself what works best for you. I'm not sure how old you or your girl are, but at a certain point in our lives, we all have a past. But we also change and evolve over time, and where we were a year or two (or longer) ago, may not be where we are at now. I know for myself, I am a far different person today than I was even just a few years ago. I wouldn't want someone to hold anything against me from back then when I've changed so much now.

It is up to you if you want to hold on to who she was or embrace who she is.

More or less every woman I've been with has cheated on me. Including the mother of my daughter. I do have trust issues, and the gf knew this.

I think that's made all this worse. She spent all this time trying to restore my faith, telling me how trustworthy she was and that she wasn't like the rest. Then pow. Right in the kisser.

I'm 26, she's 22. She's the first woman I've been with that's younger than me. The last couple of relationships I've had have been with 30+ women.

She's told me that she's not the same person she was then. And this time last week, if you had asked, I would have said I believed her.

But now, I don't know what to believe.

I can't cope with this guy being part of her life. Not only because of their (very recent) history, but also because I think he's playing her for a fool. But I've also been in a relationship before where I was told to not see a specifc female friend, because the then girlfriend was dubious about our relationship (although, the difference being that it was entirely innocent). I know the kind of resentment it breeds though.

So I'm stuck.

 

[Minamu]

Shit son. You make it sound like I hacked her account or something. She spends most of her time at my place, in front of my TV, hooked up to my PC, which is in turn linked to every one of my online accounts. I had no issue with her looking through my shit (if she did or not, I don't know) because I had nothing to hide.

I was curious. That's all. Not malicious. We had, or at least I thought we had, spoken about any "skeletons".

Equally. I'm fully aware of what year it is and what people are doing. That doesn't mean I have to agree with it, or go "Oh okay. People seem to think this is fine. I guess it's fine!". The world is a pretty shitty place right now. No-one has to grin and bear it, just because it's now acceptable to do certain things. I, personally, don't find it okay. That's my choice.

Besides dude. Could you honestly say that knowing your gf/bf was regularly talking to someone they had gushed over for seven years, and had semi-regular sex with wouldn't bother you? We're all human. We all have that little voice of doubt in the back of our heads. I personally don't think any relationship should have to cope with that. Life and love is hard enough as it is.

Edit: And this...after all these years, is the post that gets me member status.

No no, nothing as harsh as that I'm just trying to give some perspective. In my book, both of you have made stupid mistakes for sure, but I also think that she has more legit reasons to be upset with you than you have with her. Yes, you have every right to believe what you want about women having fuck buddies. But you also gain absolutely nothing positive from what I consider a backwater and old fashioned opinion in this particular situation. If you could somehow drop that opinion for a few seconds, you'd regain your happiness, peace and potentially a girlfriend you like! So I don't think you are doing yourself any favors by having this opinion at this time. Yet you have a shit ton of stuff to lose if you don't let up. Apart from lying about this, your girl has done nothing wrong to deserve this from you. Yeah I'd be a bit concerned too if my girlfriend was talking so much with another guy from her past, but she is still entitled to do so. As long as they aren't being unfaithful in some way, I don't have a say in it imho. I don't choose my girlfriend's friends any more than she chooses mine. I'd totally agree with you though if you found out she's had someone else than you at the same time. That's a different story. I suggest you go talk to her and sort this mess out

 

[TylerD]

So the girl I want to date is not giving me great opportunities to give her space that she said she wanted. She keeps initiating contact by msging and yesterday she msged at 9:00 am in the morning telling me about some drama from the previous night, then asked me "what i was doing" again which is what she opened with. We had been msging for about 40 mins. I asked her out for coffee later in the afternoon. She said she didnt know what time would be good cause she had errands to run and laundry to do.

Then she called me while she was out running errands and we talked for 20 mins. I said I would just msg later so we could figure out a time.

Then she messaged me again asking me what I was up to around the time I said I would contact her. I told her that we could go get coffee and walk around the campus across the street later, she said that would be really nice but she is feeling lazy and just wants to lounge around while she was doing laundry.

I had been watching a race, drinking beers, and eating so I was feeling kind of lazy as well and was fine with that.

Thinking about asking her out later this week to go eat or cook dinner at my place. She hasn't been to my apartment but I went to hers several times the week we were hanging out so much. Trying to play things cool but I really want to see her again.

edit: Sucks having to walk on egg shells with a girl that has explicitly expressed a lot of interest...

 

[Servbot24]

I think it's the proximity, time wise, to when we started going out. The proximity of the person involved (i.e. her best "fucking" friend whom she has some magical, special relationship with or some shit).

And all of it has been compounded by her lying to me. Like, if she had told me about this shit before we got serious - then, we probably wouldn't have been serious. But also, maybe, I would have been able to decide on whether I could accept it with all of the information available.

Honestly, people just can't be like "Oh yeah, me and my pals have casual sex all the time!" You don't just say that to people, especially when starting a new relationship. I'm sure as hell not telling any new dates I see that I just had a shitty break-up. And I assume that any girl I go out with has a few other guys they're checking out at the time. I don't blame her for lying. What she did before you two were officially together isn't really your business imo.

 

[zeemumu]

What's the best way to forget about a romantic interest that isn't just replacing them in your mind with a different person?

 

[SmackDaddy]

edit: Sucks having to walk on egg shells with a girl that has explicitly expressed a lot of interest...

I don't see any reason in your story that you have to walk on eggshells and try to not hang out- she seems interested. Ask her over!

 

[Minamu]

What's the best way to forget about a romantic interest that isn't just replacing them in your mind with a different person?

Time and fun activities then. Keep busy, really.

 

[SmackDaddy]

What's the best way to forget about a romantic interest that isn't just replacing them in your mind with a different person?

There's no best way. It'll take time. I'm having huge troubles with it right now, even though I broke the relationship off.

You need to make it positive in your head somehow. Because if you have feelings over this girl, you WILL be reminded of her pretty consistently for awhile. And it can't bring you down when it happens.

Appreciate what little time you spent together, look forward to new experiences with new people, revel in the ease of mind that comes with not pining over this person anymore.

 

[The Artful Dodger]

What's the best way to forget about a romantic interest that isn't just replacing them in your mind with a different person?

Take up Hobbies, read a book, hang out with pals. Just live your life and eventually you'll just move on.

 

[Servbot24]

What's the best way to forget about a romantic interest that isn't just replacing them in your mind with a different person?

Find something positive that helps you take your mind off it. Running and writing helped me a bit. Reading probably would would too. Keep a close eye on your budget, you might find its easier to save up now and that's sure to make you feel a little better.

 

[Raiden]

What's the best way to forget about a romantic interest that isn't just replacing them in your mind with a different person?

Alcohol and one night stands in my case.

But i guess you should keep yourself busy, find some new things to do with some new people to meet.

 

[SmackDaddy]

^fishing for avatar quote^

also, i lol'd. Wish I could get more random lays. Hard for me

 

[beat]

I don't see any reason in your story that you have to walk on eggshells and try to not hang out- she seems interested. Ask her over!

If memory serves, this is the girl who also initiated a bunch of dates and contact in one week with him, then broke things off because "he couldn't give her space".

(I don't have any advice for TylerD though... Sorry, dude.)

 

[Guiberu]

Honestly, people just can't be like "Oh yeah, me and my pals have casual sex all the time!" You don't just say that to people, especially when starting a new relationship. I'm sure as hell not telling any new dates I see that I just had a shitty break-up. And I assume that any girl I go out with has a few other guys they're checking out at the time. I don't blame her for lying. What she did before you two were officially together isn't really your business imo.

Absolutely. But given that the subject had already been raised and discussed at length - but those important details "left out", the situation is different.

I also find it interesting how contradictory the whole casual sex thing is. It's perfectly acceptable...just don't talk about it.

 

[SmackDaddy]

If memory serves, this is the girl who also initiated a bunch of dates and contact in one week with him, then broke things off because "he couldn't give her space".

(I don't have any advice for TylerD though... Sorry, dude.)

oh phuck, sorry I'm not active in this thread much. What is everyone's take on just putting it on the table? "I want to spend more time with you, lady." Is this dumb? Supwitall the bullshit games?

 

[zeemumu]

Time and fun activities then. Keep busy, really.

I get this one a lot. I need more hobbies but I have no idea what to do. I go to the gym, hike, read, watch tv/anime, and play video games, but I feel like I need a different hobby to keep me busy. The others are fine but they don't take my mind off of anything, they just kill time.

 

[Raiden]

^fishing for avatar quote^

also, i lol'd. Wish I could get more random lays. Hard for me

I'm basically a poorer and way less cool Draper. But the last 3 girls i've been with were one night stands. For some reason its hard for me to keep interest after the first night.

 

[SmackDaddy]

I get this one a lot. I need more hobbies but I have no idea what to do. I go to the gym, hike, read, watch tv/anime, and play video games, but I feel like I need a different hobby to keep me busy. The others are fine but they don't take my mind off of anything, they just kill time.

What about a hobby with a goal in mind? Set stakes for yourself. Start drums and join a band in a year. Start programming a thingy and finish in a couple months. These things will make you grow as a person.

 

[Minamu]

I get this one a lot. I need more hobbies but I have no idea what to do. I go to the gym, hike, read, watch tv/anime, and play video games, but I feel like I need a different hobby to keep me busy. The others are fine but they don't take my mind off of anything, they just kill time.

Make video games like me Learn to program C# or C++ maybe? That's very goal oriented and constructive. And amazingly enjoyable when it works.

TylerD: I just realized what your name references xD Go to rsdnation.com and look at the videos by Tyler there. It might be good stuff in general.

 

[DyTonic]

I came to conclusion i only want an immigrant women who hasn't been Americanized.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

I also find it interesting how contradictory the whole casual sex thing is. It's perfectly acceptable...just don't talk about it.

Who says this? My girl and I can literally talk about anything and we do. It's wonderful. She does get a bit shy when we talk about sex openly but we still are able to communicate about it.

Also, most people don't really want to think about their significant other having sex with other people. We all know that they have, but that doesn't mean it is something we want to think about. I had a previous girlfriend who had a FWB relationship before she and I got together and she would mention it form time to time. I was fine with that, but I didn't need details or want to think about it too much.

 

[zeemumu]

Make video games like me Learn to program C# or C++ maybe? That's very goal oriented and constructive. And amazingly enjoyable when it works.

I'm actually in college for a Computer Science major, but I'm barely into my sophmore year so programming is still pretty minimal...mostly just GE's. The most advanced thing that I can make with C++ right now is probably a calculator (sad, I know). I've been trying to make an attempt to get back into the whole concert and music world (I listen to music but I haven't attended a concert or seen a show in years) but I feel like I'm always so behind on the uptake. Most of the stuff around me revolves around the music world and I'm amazed that I've stayed out of it this long. I'm trying but it'll probably take a while. Any way to catch up quickly?

 

[Servbot24]

Who says this? My girl and I can literally talk about anything and we do. It's wonderful. She does get a bit shy when we talk about sex openly but we still are able to communicate about it.

Also, most people don't really want to think about their significant other having sex with other people. We all know that they have, but that doesn't mean it is something we want to think about. I had a previous girlfriend who had a FWB relationship before she and I got together and she would mention it form time to time. I was fine with that, but I didn't need details or want to think about it too much.

My ex would always talk about her ex-bfs and her sex lives with them. She always pointed out that I was better than any of them, but still. Fucking hated that.

 

[SmackDaddy]

I'm actually in college for a Computer Science major, but I'm barely into my sophmore year so programming is still pretty minimal...mostly just GE's. The most advanced thing that I can make with C++ right now is probably a calculator (sad, I know). I've been trying to make an attempt to get back into the whole concert and music world (I listen to music but I haven't attended a concert or seen a show in years) but I feel like I'm always so behind on the uptake. Most of the stuff around me revolves around the music world and I'm amazed that I've stayed out of it this long. I'm trying but it'll probably take a while. Any way to catch up quickly?

Rolling Stone.

Also, above you stated 2 awesome things you want to do- school and music. Then directly after each of those points, you say "but". You're talking yourself into negativity involved with stuff you know you need to do. You can want to change, but not have the resolve to see it through. Gotta convince yourself!

Also, go see shitty bands. Who cares if they are popular You will find hidden gems this way!!!

 

[TylerD]

If memory serves, this is the girl who also initiated a bunch of dates and contact in one week with him, then broke things off because "he couldn't give her space".

(I don't have any advice for TylerD though... Sorry, dude.)

Yeah, pretty much that. lol

TylerD: I just realized what your name references xD Go to rsdnation.com and look at the videos by Tyler there. It might be good stuff in general.

Actually it is the name I go by and the first letter of my last name. I will check this out though.

Tonight, I am just going to say fuck it and ask her if I can make her dinner some night this week.

 

[Minamu]

I'm actually in college for a Computer Science major, but I'm barely into my sophmore year so programming is still pretty minimal...mostly just GE's. The most advanced thing that I can make with C++ right now is probably a calculator (sad, I know). I've been trying to make an attempt to get back into the whole concert and music world (I listen to music but I haven't attended a concert or seen a show in years) but I feel like I'm always so behind on the uptake. Most of the stuff around me revolves around the music world and I'm amazed that I've stayed out of it this long. I'm trying but it'll probably take a while. Any way to catch up quickly?

A small game is easier than a good calculator Making a calculator isn't hard but making a good one is a fairly massive project, my entire 500+ pages C++ book is about one of those xD Game tutorials are a dime a doze out there Or try Game Maker or Construct 2. There are a thousand things to learn about anything

 

[zeemumu]

Rolling Stone.

Also, above you stated 2 awesome things you want to do- school and music. Then directly after each of those points, you say "but". You're talking yourself into negativity involved with stuff you know you need to do. You can want to change, but not have the resolve to see it through. Gotta convince yourself!

Also, go see shitty bands. Who cares if they are popular You will find hidden gems this way!!!

I try to know ahead of time if a band is good because concert tickets are expensive. That's not so much me telling myself that I can't do it, it's just me trying not to waste money (I'm bad enough at handling my budget as it is ). I guess every once in a while I could save up some money and pick a band at random to go see. I'll call it "band roulette day." The school thing is more of an issue of time. I want to take classes for my major now, but I literally can't until I get the prerequisites out of the way, so I have to wait for now.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Tonight, I am just going to say fuck it and ask her if I can make her dinner some night this week.

Seems to me this was what we suspected when you first mentioned her. She really digs you or she wouldn't be initiating contact the way she is. But she probably got a little worried about how fast things were going. Nothing wrong with that. The connection is strong, so I say go for it. If things keep going this well, you two will end up a couple and you'll laugh about he idea of slowing down.

I can understand this to a degree. My girlfriend and I went from zero to 60 very quickly as well, and from the outside it probably seemed like we moved way too fast. But for us, the pace has been great and we're very happy and comfortable with where we are. Sometimes you just know when it is right.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I also find it interesting how contradictory the whole casual sex thing is. It's perfectly acceptable...just don't talk about it.

How do you get that from that? You put her in a position where you created dealbreakers out of things she was doing before she was with you. You're the one that has the problem with it, not her. She didn't talk about it because of you.

People don't generally talk about the committed sex they're having, either. It's fine to have a preference, but you're coming off really judgmental and shitty.

 

[beat]

I try to know ahead of time if a band is good because concert tickets are expensive.

Maybe see cheaper shows then. Go to dives or follow local acts that may not even have one album out yet.

 

[Kopite]

500 Days of Summer was a great movie. Thanks for recommending it.

 

[TheExodu5]

More or less every woman I've been with has cheated on me. Including the mother of my daughter. I do have trust issues, and the gf knew this.

I think that's made all this worse. She spent all this time trying to restore my faith, telling me how trustworthy she was and that she wasn't like the rest. Then pow. Right in the kisser.

I'm 26, she's 22. She's the first woman I've been with that's younger than me. The last couple of relationships I've had have been with 30+ women.

She's told me that she's not the same person she was then. And this time last week, if you had asked, I would have said I believed her.

But now, I don't know what to believe.

I can't cope with this guy being part of her life. Not only because of their (very recent) history, but also because I think he's playing her for a fool. But I've also been in a relationship before where I was told to not see a specifc female friend, because the then girlfriend was dubious about our relationship (although, the difference being that it was entirely innocent). I know the kind of resentment it breeds though.

So I'm stuck.

You have the right to not be okay with her maintaining ties to a previous sexual partner. However, simply being judgmental about the fact that she had a FWB thing going seems weird. It's really none of your concern.

 

[SmackDaddy]

Maybe see cheaper shows then. Go to dives or follow local acts that may not even have one album out yet.

this guy knows whats up. You'll be able to talk to more people, and hear more different music.

 

[RC Cola]

IMHO most people aren't above lying to avoid having to face an awkward and uncomfortable situation.

Oh yeah, I'm definitely aware of that (and agree).

This isn't actually that new. I already knew most of that, save the wedding (though that doesn't surprise me too much, and makes even more sense). But one of those cases where the truth really is better than lying I think...especially if you suck at lying (and the truth probably would come out eventually anyway). That's a nice lesson in life I think.

On the bright side for me, relationship #2 (whenever that happens) can only go up from here!

 

[EvaristeG]

Don't know how to feel about this... I've been annoyed by my GF for a few days. We've been together for 8 months and I really love her. She hasn't done anything wrong, but we spent a lot of time together and I like my privacy too. The result is that I'm being quite irritated by little things she does, or uninterested by what she has to say. Her marks of affection annoy me sometimes too. Note that this is not all the time and we still have a lot of sex. She didnt' notice any of this though, except for a few times when I got upset for little things. Also I've been extremely busy/tired by college these days so it might be that too. Did this happen to any of you guys ?

 

[UltimaPooh]

Watching 500 Days of Summer right now.

Love that movie.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Don't know how to feel about this... I've been annoyed by my GF for a few days. We've been together for 8 months and I really love her. She hasn't done anything wrong, but we spent a lot of time together and I like my privacy too. The result is that I'm being quite irritated by little things she does, or uninterested by what she has to say. Her marks of affection annoy me sometimes too. Note that this is not all the time and we still have a lot of sex. She didnt' notice any of this though, except for a few times when I got upset for little things. Also I've been extremely busy/tired by college these days so it might be that too. Did this happen to any of you guys ?

It happens to everyone. Sounds like you're on edge from stress and perhaps spending too much time together. Maybe take a weekend away or something to get some time to yourself.

 

[Minamu]

500 Days of Summer was a great movie. Thanks for recommending it.

Sure thing I'm gonna add it to the OP.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I get this one a lot. I need more hobbies but I have no idea what to do. I go to the gym, hike, read, watch tv/anime, and play video games, but I feel like I need a different hobby to keep me busy. The others are fine but they don't take my mind off of anything, they just kill time.

This is good, but they're individual activities. Join a club to meet people with similar interests.

At the end of the day isn't everything a way to kill time?

 

[beat]

Just a hypothetical*, but what if you need to get over someone who's in the same group hobby/club you're in?

* this actually did happen to me, but then I moved away for unrelated reasons.

 

[Kano on the Phone]

Gaf, I need help.

I've been seeing this girl for a few months. She's beautiful, intelligent and funny. We got along so perfectly.

We nearly didn't get together, as shortly before she had met up with some random from the net and fucked him. That's a big no-no for me. We talked about it, she assured me it was a one off "stupid mistake" and I got past it.

The other morning, I get up and see she's left herself logged in to a private little forum she frequents. She'd mentioned before that she talked about me and my daughter on there. Curious (I know, I know) I have a look about and start looking through her post history. First page is great. Made me feel really good about her and us. Then I go back a bit further. Turns out it wasn't a one off.

Before/Whilst/After fucking this random, she'd also been fucking her "best friend" of seven years. They went out a few years back, but this year decided to have a little fuck buddy action. They haven't done anything since we've been together, but virtually right up until we were - and she's still in contact with him. I was physically sick.

So I was lied to, about it being a one off. Then lied to several dozen more times, as we'd often discuss and debate the aspect of "casual sex" (as I say, I'm a big no-no. She thinks it's perfectly fine). Her argument was that she'd tried it once and realized it just wasn't for her. Which is obvious crap.

I confronted her. She admitted the lying. Apologized. Tried to justify it all. Tried to justify her twisted relationship with this guy (who, I'm of the opinion is only her "best friend" because she's had a perpetual crush on him for seven years and he can get some action when he feels like it). But it seems like she's not actually remorseful. Only that she got found out. She said she wanted to tell me later on in the relationship, when she hoped I would just be able to accept it. But we spoke about stuff like this so much. It was the make or break of our relationship even happening and she just glossed over it.

I feel like shit. I've been through all this before. She's spent these past months trying to restore my "faith" in women, all the time lying to my face and chatting with this fuckbuddy/friend/guy of hers.

Now I don't know what to do. I love her. My daughter adores her. But I don't think I can get over a) the fact that she had a fuck buddy in the first place or b) that she's lied about it all.

More or less every woman I've been with has cheated on me. Including the mother of my daughter. I do have trust issues, and the gf knew this.

I think that's made all this worse. She spent all this time trying to restore my faith, telling me how trustworthy she was and that she wasn't like the rest. Then pow. Right in the kisser.

I'm 26, she's 22. She's the first woman I've been with that's younger than me. The last couple of relationships I've had have been with 30+ women.

She's told me that she's not the same person she was then. And this time last week, if you had asked, I would have said I believed her.

But now, I don't know what to believe.

I can't cope with this guy being part of her life. Not only because of their (very recent) history, but also because I think he's playing her for a fool. But I've also been in a relationship before where I was told to not see a specifc female friend, because the then girlfriend was dubious about our relationship (although, the difference being that it was entirely innocent). I know the kind of resentment it breeds though.

So I'm stuck.

"I'm so hurt and angry that this woman chose me instead of him that I'm going to make her regret it."

 

[NeOak]

Absolutely. But given that the subject had already been raised and discussed at length - but those important details "left out", the situation is different.

I also find it interesting how contradictory the whole casual sex thing is. It's perfectly acceptable...just don't talk about it.

I'll add my 2 cents to this.

I have a friend of mine with whom I flirt and what not. However, while she and I have joked and even talked about having a relationship maybe at some point (funny since she gives me advice for chasing girls), she is sexually active with other guys.

Do I care about it? No. Do I consider her relationship material? Yes.

We aren't exclusive or anything so she can do whatever she wants. However, if she and I were exclusive, the rules would change and then it would be an issue. But since we aren't dating, *shrugs*.

 

[TylerD]

Sent a MSG asking her out sometime this week and saying that it would be considered a date if she wants. I am in a really good place with my life right now and want to be dating. If she doesnt want to right now, I have already been msging somebody else on OKC. Not going to just hang around waiting for her to figure out what she wants.

Ball is in her court now.

 

[NeOak]

Ball is in her court now.

Just don't get hit from behind with it lol

 

[A Human Becoming]

I keep telling myself it's not the right time; I need to lose weight, get a real job, gain more self esteem and confidence before dating. I don't think the right time will ever happen at this rate. Unless...the right time is always? :O

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

I keep telling myself it's not the right time; I need to lose weight, get a real job, get more self esteem before dating. I don't think the right time will ever happen at this rate. Unless...the right time is always? :O

The right time is when you least expect it. That's what happened to me.

I broke up with someone earlier in the year in what was a very draining and difficult relationship that was over long before we made it official. After that happened, I decided I was ready to leave the city I live in (Austin) as there really is nothing to keep me here. Fast forward six months and I randomly meet someone at a bus stop on the other side of the planet. Three months later, we're in in a very good, deep and committed relationship and we're planning on moving somewhere together next spring. She wasn't looking to meet anyone at the time and neither was I. It just happened and it's about the best thing that has ever happened to me.

 

[TylerD]

I moved for work and a considerably better paying job and now have money to actually do things for fun. It was absolutely a self esteem thing and now I am working out consistently as well and have a nice car (that is important to me). Feel healthy and the world is my oyster.

The right time is when you least expect it. That's what happened to me.

I broke up with someone earlier in the year in what was a very draining and difficult relationship that was over long before we made it official. After that happened, I decided I was ready to leave the city I live in (Austin) as there really is nothing to keep me here. Fast forward six months and I randomly meet someone at a bus stop on the other side of the planet. Three months later, we're in in a very good, deep and committed relationship and we're planning on moving somewhere together next spring. She wasn't looking to meet anyone at the time and neither was I. It just happened and it's about the best thing that has ever happened to me.

That is a great story.

 

[SquiddyCracker]

The other morning, I get up and see she's left herself logged in to a private little forum she frequents. She'd mentioned before that she talked about me and my daughter on there. Curious (I know, I know) I have a look about and start looking through her post history. First page is great. Made me feel really good about her and us. Then I go back a bit further. Turns out it wasn't a one off.

You didn't respect her privacy, and broke her trust.
She may have made a lie of omission, but if she wasn't having sex with the guy while the two of you were getting serious then what's the big deal?