By George you're right. Ronald is both ridiculous and awesome
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Ridiculous people you know. (So ridiculous they can't be real... but they are.)
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By George you're right. Ronald is both ridiculous and awesome
This dude I used to work with was always hooking up with girls on those dating apps, he'd meet them once, and then they'd break it off with him almost immediately. This happened like every weekend. Every time they agreed to meet with him, he'd update his facebook status to "in a relationship" so his timeline is basically alternating between "single" and "in a relationship" constantly. One time he went to the drive-in, took a bathroom break and meanwhile changed his status to "on a date with my woman" on the first date. The girl saw this, threw all his shit out of the car and drove off. This guy also drinks those massive energy drink cans along with iced coffee and basically had this enormous collection of caffeinated drinks all over his desk. One time he had like 4 litres of water on his desk and said to me "I think I need to buy more water." Every lunch this guy would take the elevator down to the ground floor, walk down the street, buy 2 tiny little shots of coffee, carefully bring them all the way back to the office, and then quickly down them in 2 gulps. Why not pour them into a bigger cup? Why not drink them at the coffee shop? This guy also crashed hard at some point throughout the day as a result of all the sugar and caffeine and high chance of being dumped by one of his internet girlfriends. Just the look of pure rage he'd get like he wanted to smash someone was incredible.
Skid 4 Dead
Member
Yep, possible.
Also, I sorta think people think I am totally ridiculous sometimes. Especially when I get in fangirl mode
Fangirl mode is ridiculous. It's my least favorite mode. I'm exposed to it more than I would like.
nicoga3000
Saint Nic
I have a coworker like this. I've stopped talking to him because it stresses me out how dumb he is.
He also calls his wife 5+ times a day to update her on what he has been eating, that "funny post on Facebook", their dog training, etc. I get angry being near him, ha.
Dedication Through Light here on NeoGAF.
The stuff he says is often super ridiculous. Things like console games look superior to anything on PC and other random stuff. Sometimes it's hard to say if he's just trolling or if he genuinely believes that stuff. And I don't say this to be mean... he's a nice guy. He just says so many ridiculous things. I was his roommate in college for two years too so I know him personally and man, those were some interesting times lol.
The stuff he says is often super ridiculous. Things like console games look superior to anything on PC and other random stuff. Sometimes it's hard to say if he's just trolling or if he genuinely believes that stuff. And I don't say this to be mean... he's a nice guy. He just says so many ridiculous things. I was his roommate in college for two years too so I know him personally and man, those were some interesting times lol.
SuicideUZI
Member
Back in my high school days I worked as a busboy in a restaurant and on weekends I worked with another guy from Jordan who was probably in his 40s at the time. Somehow he figured out that he could pull up one of the seats in the booths in the restaurant and use it to store things in, so he would bring random junk to sell like nunchakus and pull up the booth seat to his mini shop to try to sell stuff to the other employees, and to top it off he claimed that he hand made everything but most of the stuff still had a "made in China" sticker somewhere on it.
I went to art school for 5.5 years, and for one of those years, there was a guy in my major named Matt. Matt was one of those rich white kids who tried to act ghetto as fuck. You know how Jesse Pinkman used the word "yo" like it was a form of punctuation? That's the kind of guy Matt was. He was also...well, a bit of a moron. Like, the wheel was spinning but the hamster was asleep, if you get my meaning.
Our school is right on the doorstep of east Cleveland - which...isn't the greatest of neighborhoods. One time he left his GPS on the hood of his car and, in broad fucking daylight, someone smashed through his passenger-side window and stole it. When he found out about it, he seemed completely oblivious as to why you should never leave expensive electronic equipment just laying around in your car, especially when you're next to a bad neighborhood where car break-ins are fairly common.
Also, whenever we were all in our studios working (which were all located in the same, giant room) he would blast this obscure Irish-rap music. The rest of us who would listen to music always used headphones out of, you know, common courtesy. Matt never gave a shit no matter how many times we told him to turn it down. Eventually one of our department heads had to step in and tell him to knock it off.
At the end of each semester, we would have department-wide critiques of our art in front of everyone in the major - sophomores, juniors, seniors, and all faculty. Matt goes up infront of the audience and starts talking about his work, and in front of all of our professors, he just off-handedly says he "blasts his art out real quickly".
I didn't know before that moment that you could actually hear an entire room of people facepalm at the same time, but turns out, you can. Sufficed to say, Matt wasn't around for much longer. Rumor was his folks got word that he was drinking and partying all the time (he was 19) and so they stopped paying for his tuition.
Our school is right on the doorstep of east Cleveland - which...isn't the greatest of neighborhoods. One time he left his GPS on the hood of his car and, in broad fucking daylight, someone smashed through his passenger-side window and stole it. When he found out about it, he seemed completely oblivious as to why you should never leave expensive electronic equipment just laying around in your car, especially when you're next to a bad neighborhood where car break-ins are fairly common.
Also, whenever we were all in our studios working (which were all located in the same, giant room) he would blast this obscure Irish-rap music. The rest of us who would listen to music always used headphones out of, you know, common courtesy. Matt never gave a shit no matter how many times we told him to turn it down. Eventually one of our department heads had to step in and tell him to knock it off.
At the end of each semester, we would have department-wide critiques of our art in front of everyone in the major - sophomores, juniors, seniors, and all faculty. Matt goes up infront of the audience and starts talking about his work, and in front of all of our professors, he just off-handedly says he "blasts his art out real quickly".
I didn't know before that moment that you could actually hear an entire room of people facepalm at the same time, but turns out, you can. Sufficed to say, Matt wasn't around for much longer. Rumor was his folks got word that he was drinking and partying all the time (he was 19) and so they stopped paying for his tuition.
I have a co-worker that is in her own world when it comes to sound.
She is the loudest person and the sounds that emit from her aren't nice. She wears strapless shoes and drags her feet, so you hear her coming 100ft away. You would think she has the loudest mechanical keyboard, but she doesn't have a mechanical keyboard. Her phone ringer is always on loud and with a god awful ringer. She still has not been able to find the vibrate button. She sucks her fucking teeth ALL DAY. She slurps her food. SLURPS HER FOOD. Last but certainly not least, she fucking farts and burps all day and adds commentary when it happens such as "Oh, that soup" or "Oh, my stomach". Not once does she say excuse me or act as if it was an accident. It's literally as if she is at home by herself.
Guy I know/knew seems to be immune to the smell of his cat piss. I went over to his house and I literally almost vomited due to the overwhelming smell of cat piss. My fucking eyes were stinging. I did NOT feel good that night. Every visit there was an absolute smell of cat piss emanating from the litter box. The last time I was there it cranked to 11.
An old co-worker was told that one of the pan stations shocked another co-worker and to stay away until maintenance could come in. What does she do? She washes the pan that goes into the station and carries it over partially wet, sets it in, and get electrocuted. The lights flickered and all. I was in the back of the restaurant and I looked up and saw her drop and roll around on the floor. To make matters worse, she had a very bad lisp and kept trying to tell me that she was electrocuted but I for the life of me could not understand what she was saying. So she then said she was shocked but it sounded like she said she was shot so another coworker dived down on the floor and she started moaning.
She is the loudest person and the sounds that emit from her aren't nice. She wears strapless shoes and drags her feet, so you hear her coming 100ft away. You would think she has the loudest mechanical keyboard, but she doesn't have a mechanical keyboard. Her phone ringer is always on loud and with a god awful ringer. She still has not been able to find the vibrate button. She sucks her fucking teeth ALL DAY. She slurps her food. SLURPS HER FOOD. Last but certainly not least, she fucking farts and burps all day and adds commentary when it happens such as "Oh, that soup" or "Oh, my stomach". Not once does she say excuse me or act as if it was an accident. It's literally as if she is at home by herself.
Guy I know/knew seems to be immune to the smell of his cat piss. I went over to his house and I literally almost vomited due to the overwhelming smell of cat piss. My fucking eyes were stinging. I did NOT feel good that night. Every visit there was an absolute smell of cat piss emanating from the litter box. The last time I was there it cranked to 11.
An old co-worker was told that one of the pan stations shocked another co-worker and to stay away until maintenance could come in. What does she do? She washes the pan that goes into the station and carries it over partially wet, sets it in, and get electrocuted. The lights flickered and all. I was in the back of the restaurant and I looked up and saw her drop and roll around on the floor. To make matters worse, she had a very bad lisp and kept trying to tell me that she was electrocuted but I for the life of me could not understand what she was saying. So she then said she was shocked but it sounded like she said she was shot so another coworker dived down on the floor and she started moaning.
Princess Viola
Member
This one kid I knew in 9th grade was like a full-on conspiracy nut. Every single conspiracy he read about, he IMMEDIATELY believed, even if it contradicted with other shit he read.
For instance: he both simultaneously thought man never landed on the moon and that the Russians landed on the moon before we did.
He also bought into that whole "Obama is a Muslim from Kenya who wants to turn the United States of America into a communist state like the Soviet Union" shtick.
The guy was a nice guy, but he would never shut up about how "we're all just SHEEPLE who believe everything the media tells them".
For instance: he both simultaneously thought man never landed on the moon and that the Russians landed on the moon before we did.
He also bought into that whole "Obama is a Muslim from Kenya who wants to turn the United States of America into a communist state like the Soviet Union" shtick.
The guy was a nice guy, but he would never shut up about how "we're all just SHEEPLE who believe everything the media tells them".
Zeus Molecules
illegal immigrants are stealing our air
Yeah that story takes the turd cake for being horrible...
I have this one guy in my Gov't class who is convinced kotaku culture needs to be mainstream ("because it should be"), that a system that only does remakes is a good idea, has no concept of professionalism, and is, in general, one of the biggest idiots I've ever met.
He was also part conspiracy nut.
He was also part conspiracy nut.
Carnby
Member
To all the Andy fans, you have no idea how amazing he truly is. I don't want to be mean, but honestly, he's a 3 at best, has a lisp, smells like old socks, and his normal walk looks like he is walking down hill. Yet he constantly hits on women in the office who are 8s, 9s, and even 10s. Any time there's a new women, Andy is guaranteed to hit on her. And he will do is so bluntly. One time, he spoke with a woman for about 20 minutes, found out she had a boyfriend, and at the end of the conversation said, "So, just how faithful are you to your boyfriend?" She replied, "VERY...". And without being phased, he said, "Ok, I'll see you later. Bye." Andy has grapefruits.
johnny_park
Member
I know this guy. He bought me a drink once.
Buckethead
Banned
Andy is a good dude.
He's trying to save the company money, wants to solve legitimate problems, and keep his bones strong so he can work hard by drinking copious amounts of milk.
Andy is my hero.
He's trying to save the company money, wants to solve legitimate problems, and keep his bones strong so he can work hard by drinking copious amounts of milk.
Andy is my hero.
TheBryanJZX90
Member
I knew a guy once who was actually trying to become a ninja. Like, a "real" ninja. He even traveled all the way to Japan in part so he could learn how to become a ninja. Keep in mind this dude ain't exactly stealthy. Big white guy over 6 foot, maybe 200 220 pounds, let's just say he stuck out surrounded by all of those Japanese people. Nevertheless he drove two or three hours each way from his home in Japan to his "dojo" where he was paying money to train and learn how to be a ninja.
Well, I can hear you thinking, at least he's doing it right! Probably learning from some 90 year old grand master who will be so impressed with his dedication that he'll let him read the secret family scroll that has been passed down for 300 years! That's actually impressive!
Nope. (For one thing, because I don't think there are any Japanese people that actually think ninjutsu is a thing to teach.) Dude was taking all this time and spending all this money to learn how to be a ninja from another fucking white guy living in Japan.
Well, I can hear you thinking, at least he's doing it right! Probably learning from some 90 year old grand master who will be so impressed with his dedication that he'll let him read the secret family scroll that has been passed down for 300 years! That's actually impressive!
Nope. (For one thing, because I don't think there are any Japanese people that actually think ninjutsu is a thing to teach.) Dude was taking all this time and spending all this money to learn how to be a ninja from another fucking white guy living in Japan.
I went to a Christian college where drinking was not allowed, but one of my roommates (we'll call him Matt... which is really his name! So there!) would routinely drink a bottle of wine every night. He was also somewhat wealthy and was constantly buying stupid things. He bought a $400 umbrella and a $200 scarf for example. He also bought a giant, 3-man water balloon slingshot. We were playing with this one night to see how far we could launch balloons, and of course taking turns shooting ourselves at point blank (to prove our manliness or something). We also had a bonfire going. At one point, Matt says "Woah I have a great idea!" and runs up to his room and comes back down with several bottle of liquor (which blows our sheltered minds). He then starts pouring the liquor into the bonfire so that a huge fireball would shoot up, and he tried getting us to shoot water balloons directly into the fireballs. I guess he saw a youtube video where heating a water balloon would make it explode. At one point we succeeded but it just popped uneventfully. Bored, he then suggested we start firing balloons towards the campus from the balcony on our townhouse and try to get them over buildings. Predictably we immediately took an errant shot and shattered the window of a nearby townhouse, which elicited a surprised yell from someone inside. At this point Matt is having a grand ol' time, so he abandons the slingshot, puts on a clown mask he happened to have, and he just runs onto campus with an armful of water balloons, he heads towards the girls' dorm and starts throwing balloons at random girls. When he was out of balloons he ran into the woods and disappeared for the night and we didn't see him til the next morning.
Anyways he was a weird one.
Anyways he was a weird one.
In middle school I had a friend that was a compulsive liar. He also knew how to cook Crystal meth at least he knew some of the steps that I learned from breaking bad which was 12 years later!. Such as aluminum foil and the match books, etc. I wonder if his dad taught him how or his brother. He said his father burried a gun in the woods and a year or so later dug it up and it still worked.
Jaffaboy
Member
When I was 16 I worked in a factory for the summer, and there was this guy who was a year or two older than me. He claimed that he'd got three girls pregnant all at the same time, all of them were under the age of 16. He also hated rock music so much that if a song by someone like the Foo Fighters or even Nickelback came on the radio he'd shield his ears like he was in pain and demand we change the station. This guy would also leave work everyday playing the loudest drum and bass from the subwoofers in his car. Such an amazing specimen.
Peter
Age: 48
Lived with his mom.
I knew him from my first job at the movie theater way back. Very quiet and nice guy. Usually kept to himself and we had small conversations here and there. One day out of the blue in the breakroom, he comes up to me and wants to ask my opinion on something. He tells me he had bought a bouquet of red roses and some chocolate and wants to ask one of our coworkers out. Now the coworker he wanted to ask out was 16 or 17 years old at the time. I was mindfucked and had to do a double take when he calmly brought it up to me. I told him I'll give him my honest opinion and advised against it as nicely as I could. He didn't take my advice and went through with it anyways I guess.
At the end of the shift, I found the roses in the breakroom garbage can. Then went to the bathroom and heard sobbing. I fucking knew and honestly felt sad for him. I hope you found a woman by now, Peter.
Age: 48
Lived with his mom.
I knew him from my first job at the movie theater way back. Very quiet and nice guy. Usually kept to himself and we had small conversations here and there. One day out of the blue in the breakroom, he comes up to me and wants to ask my opinion on something. He tells me he had bought a bouquet of red roses and some chocolate and wants to ask one of our coworkers out. Now the coworker he wanted to ask out was 16 or 17 years old at the time. I was mindfucked and had to do a double take when he calmly brought it up to me. I told him I'll give him my honest opinion and advised against it as nicely as I could. He didn't take my advice and went through with it anyways I guess.
At the end of the shift, I found the roses in the breakroom garbage can. Then went to the bathroom and heard sobbing. I fucking knew and honestly felt sad for him. I hope you found a woman by now, Peter.
User 100115
Banned
BigJonsson
Member
People that actually believe all the conspiracy theories they read on the internet
Spring-Loaded
Member
When my dad was a kid, it was custom to swipe your fingers across the back of someone's head when they got a haircut; back then it was called "slicking somebody's head" a type of "fresh cut" teasing.
One of my uncle's friends were doing this to my father while they were all walking together along with that friend's dog. My dad kept protesting, telling the friend to stop. My uncle told his friend to stop slicking his little brother's head. The friend continued after being told not to multiple times.
My uncle then picked up a cinder block at the side of the road and tossed it at his friend's dog, striking it in the back. The dog whimpered in pain and the friend yelled at my uncle, asking what was wrong with him before picking up his dog and heading back home.
My uncle told me this story with reverie, saying "he was messing with my brother, so I bricked his dog, man" while smiling/shrugging. My dad corroborated the story saying he remembers the dog being permanently injured after that event. There are a lot of other stories/aspects of my uncle that are worse, but I feel this one encapsulates who he is as a person.
One of my uncle's friends were doing this to my father while they were all walking together along with that friend's dog. My dad kept protesting, telling the friend to stop. My uncle told his friend to stop slicking his little brother's head. The friend continued after being told not to multiple times.
My uncle then picked up a cinder block at the side of the road and tossed it at his friend's dog, striking it in the back. The dog whimpered in pain and the friend yelled at my uncle, asking what was wrong with him before picking up his dog and heading back home.
My uncle told me this story with reverie, saying "he was messing with my brother, so I bricked his dog, man" while smiling/shrugging. My dad corroborated the story saying he remembers the dog being permanently injured after that event. There are a lot of other stories/aspects of my uncle that are worse, but I feel this one encapsulates who he is as a person.
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
Space Avocat
Member
I do have an Andy OP and he's one of my best friends. I have to take a step back sometimes and think, wow. I can't even believe he is a real person.
He is 6'4 305 lbs now 25 years old. He was a pretty gnarly baseball pitcher in high school and went to a D1 university to pitch. He started playing online poker while at school and had some success. He struggled to pass all of his classes so he decided to drop out and pursue poker professionally.
He then moved in with our other friend who was attending a different state school. He literally lived in a house with 13 other college students on campus and was not a student. He would just play poker online all day, 24 tables at a time, eat Subway twice a day, and party with college kids. At one of these parties, he chugged seven beers out of a 30 foot funnel. No breaks. There was just a guy standing on top of the roof with two pitchers that he just dumped down the funnel for him to drink. Andy immediately projectile vomited but it was still epic.
So he actually made quite a killing doing this poker thing. However, the US online poker ban threw a wrench in his plans. He then tried to move to Toronto, but was stopped at the border for having $21K cash in his car, exceeding the $10k limit. They seized his money, suspecting him of being a drug dealer, I'm sure. It didn't help that border security was on edge as this immediately following the killing of Bin Laden. He eventually did get his money back, but a hefty portion of that went to attorneys fees.
He then moved to the Bahamas for about 6 months and lived on Paradise Island. He made a good amount of money there as well, even winning over $20k Euros when he was comped a free tournament in Montecarlo. He soon came back because he was "really bored". When he came back to the States, he began testing his luck at casinos and cash games instead of online poker. He has been equally successful.
With some of his earnings he decided to invest in $20k racehorses. One of his races horses had to be put down because it randomly ate a snail and contracted a disease. This year was a big year for him as he has placed in 2 big tournaments which alone have paid out $225K and $277K. He's still 300 lbs, is dating a casino waitress who has a son, and is pretty much doing whatever he wants.
TL;DR: My 6'4 305 lbs friend went to a D1 university to pitch. He was terrible at school so he took up online poker and hit it big. He now owns racehorses and feeds them poisonous escargot and is all-in-all living the dream
He is 6'4 305 lbs now 25 years old. He was a pretty gnarly baseball pitcher in high school and went to a D1 university to pitch. He started playing online poker while at school and had some success. He struggled to pass all of his classes so he decided to drop out and pursue poker professionally.
He then moved in with our other friend who was attending a different state school. He literally lived in a house with 13 other college students on campus and was not a student. He would just play poker online all day, 24 tables at a time, eat Subway twice a day, and party with college kids. At one of these parties, he chugged seven beers out of a 30 foot funnel. No breaks. There was just a guy standing on top of the roof with two pitchers that he just dumped down the funnel for him to drink. Andy immediately projectile vomited but it was still epic.
So he actually made quite a killing doing this poker thing. However, the US online poker ban threw a wrench in his plans. He then tried to move to Toronto, but was stopped at the border for having $21K cash in his car, exceeding the $10k limit. They seized his money, suspecting him of being a drug dealer, I'm sure. It didn't help that border security was on edge as this immediately following the killing of Bin Laden. He eventually did get his money back, but a hefty portion of that went to attorneys fees.
He then moved to the Bahamas for about 6 months and lived on Paradise Island. He made a good amount of money there as well, even winning over $20k Euros when he was comped a free tournament in Montecarlo. He soon came back because he was "really bored". When he came back to the States, he began testing his luck at casinos and cash games instead of online poker. He has been equally successful.
With some of his earnings he decided to invest in $20k racehorses. One of his races horses had to be put down because it randomly ate a snail and contracted a disease. This year was a big year for him as he has placed in 2 big tournaments which alone have paid out $225K and $277K. He's still 300 lbs, is dating a casino waitress who has a son, and is pretty much doing whatever he wants.
TL;DR: My 6'4 305 lbs friend went to a D1 university to pitch. He was terrible at school so he took up online poker and hit it big. He now owns racehorses and feeds them poisonous escargot and is all-in-all living the dream
One of my friends once had a bulb fail in the headlights in his car. Now for most people this is an inconvenience. We go to a shop, either fit the bulb or, in the case of my wacky-ass Megane get them to fit it (It took 4 guys, a Haynes manual, and 4 lights hanging off the bonnet plus me in the car with the key so I can move the wheels to allow them access to the wheel well)...
Anyway....rather than go to a Halfords or similar and get it done in 15 minutes he chooses to have it sent to a garage. But they're booked....for a week. Now, ladies and gents, in that week you'd think he'd just drive to and from work as normal, I mean, it was autumn, mostly you just need sidelights, and plenty of cars drive on one headlight anyway....but no. He arranges with his boss to come in an hour late and leave an hour early for the whole week.
For one headlight bulb.
That could have been replaced.
In five minutes.
Anyway....rather than go to a Halfords or similar and get it done in 15 minutes he chooses to have it sent to a garage. But they're booked....for a week. Now, ladies and gents, in that week you'd think he'd just drive to and from work as normal, I mean, it was autumn, mostly you just need sidelights, and plenty of cars drive on one headlight anyway....but no. He arranges with his boss to come in an hour late and leave an hour early for the whole week.
For one headlight bulb.
That could have been replaced.
In five minutes.
The Mana Legend
Banned
There's a guy who lives in my town who literally thinks he's Elvis. Has the hair, the clothes, and a Cadillac. Talks like him, too.
Weirdest part is that he has kids and a family and a normal life. All while thinking he's Elvis.
Weirdest part is that he has kids and a family and a normal life. All while thinking he's Elvis.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
This is always stupid in light of how easy it is to just open the lid of the toilet tank and manually cause it to flush by pulling up the stopper.
Remember him from the Jojo anime thread, no problem with the dude at all but he has the weirdest opinions.
Origami Superman
Member
I worked with a guy who would carry a hip flask around the office filled with soda.
He also wore loud floral pattern Hawaiian shirts with MATCHING fedoras (yes Hawaiian print fedoras).
His last stand was where he was physically removed and subsequently fired for bringing and swinging around a lightsaber in the office.
Gotta say, work has never been more boring since.
He also wore loud floral pattern Hawaiian shirts with MATCHING fedoras (yes Hawaiian print fedoras).
His last stand was where he was physically removed and subsequently fired for bringing and swinging around a lightsaber in the office.
Gotta say, work has never been more boring since.
jts
...hate me...
Wow. That's awful.
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
A couple of freaks I know who were "too weird to live, and too rare to die":
This guy I knew at university made his money by making chain-mail armour and screening amateur comedy remakes of classic movies, like Indiana Jones and Star Wars. He lived in a ramshackle caravan outside of town, dressed as a (very ugly) woman in the evenings and didn't go anywhere without an 8 inch knife and a flask of mead. Thing is, when you spoke to him, he was one of the dullest people on Earth; nice, but boring.
More interestingly, I knew another guy who when we first met claimed to be a druid (he wasn't). Bit of a munter, he took what could only be described as "heroic dosages" of a variety of drugs and alcohol on a daily basis and was rarely seen in any state less than "fucked", including during lectures.
I remember seeing him get hit by a car whilst crossing a road. He immediately got up and ran to the driver side window and asked the driver if he was okay. Then he just carried on with the rest of the evening. I asked him if he was alright the next day and he didn't even remember it. He also set his face on fire once trying to light a cigarette.
Anyway, he was always at odds with the wardens of our halls of residence and, one day, decided to don a horse mask and hold them at gunpoint with an air-soft pistol. Needless to say police got involved. I had just got in from seeing 'Requiem for a Dream' for the first time with what would be my future wife and I recall him running up to me all wild eyed and asking if I'd hide the airsoft gun and the horse mask in my room. I obliged, of course, and he managed to get away with it. I imagine he's probably dead now.
Good times.
This guy I knew at university made his money by making chain-mail armour and screening amateur comedy remakes of classic movies, like Indiana Jones and Star Wars. He lived in a ramshackle caravan outside of town, dressed as a (very ugly) woman in the evenings and didn't go anywhere without an 8 inch knife and a flask of mead. Thing is, when you spoke to him, he was one of the dullest people on Earth; nice, but boring.
More interestingly, I knew another guy who when we first met claimed to be a druid (he wasn't). Bit of a munter, he took what could only be described as "heroic dosages" of a variety of drugs and alcohol on a daily basis and was rarely seen in any state less than "fucked", including during lectures.
I remember seeing him get hit by a car whilst crossing a road. He immediately got up and ran to the driver side window and asked the driver if he was okay. Then he just carried on with the rest of the evening. I asked him if he was alright the next day and he didn't even remember it. He also set his face on fire once trying to light a cigarette.
Anyway, he was always at odds with the wardens of our halls of residence and, one day, decided to don a horse mask and hold them at gunpoint with an air-soft pistol. Needless to say police got involved. I had just got in from seeing 'Requiem for a Dream' for the first time with what would be my future wife and I recall him running up to me all wild eyed and asking if I'd hide the airsoft gun and the horse mask in my room. I obliged, of course, and he managed to get away with it. I imagine he's probably dead now.
Good times.
I dont think its all that common to drop dead from having just consumed massive amounts of alcohol, rather you die later from liver failure. So this record is silly
ElbowRocket
Member
Brilliant thread cant stop reading ^^
Aside from asking a 17 year old, which he should not have done, what happened to him actually made me sad. Odd. He wasn't creepy or anything, was he?
Mohonky
Member
This thread reminds me of a guy I was working with on a construction site. His name is Nutz for reasons that will become apparent. He worked on site as an electrician. Some further explanation as to what this guy is like is to simply say he is from Gympie. For non-Australians (or QLDers) this is kind of the equivalent of saying you're from Alabama; it's assumed you're inbred and a bit simple which Nutz usually reminds people of when he introduces himself by stating yes he is from Gympie no his wife isn't his sister but he'd probably touch his cousin.
Anyway
My understanding is that the electricians on the site were all getting a bit shitty and the supervisor told them if they didn't like him or the way things were going they could move to the other side of the project (it was a rhetorical question). Didn't stop Nutz from putting his hand up and saying he would take him up on the offer.
So he got moved to the other side of the project and made leading hand as there wasn't really a division for electricians on our side at that time. On his first appearance on our side of the project, he marched himself into a meeting with all the senior management and proclaimed that with his entry the IQ pool of the room had just been increased significantly which was apparently met with some dumbfounded looks as at that point no one really knew who he was.
That sort of sums the guy up though; he is quick witted, likes to make those around him uncomfortable, isn't afraid of authority nor making an utter dick of himself. The main thing about the guy that is how sharp he is, when he makes a smart ass comment there is no pause or delay in his retort, he has a come back lined up and ready to fire before you've finished speaking. Despite passing himself of as a dumb ass and an inbred simpleton he is actually very sharp, witty and quite intelligent; but he has that sort of genius in him that is precariously balanced only by his eccentric nature.
He is kind of short, scrawny and carries himself rather 'fabulously' so he looks a little weird. Maybe he really is inbred. Not sure but anyway.
Some of his random antics.
- He loves getting shit from the dump. I'd hate to see what he has laying around the house at home. He is always going to the dump on his R&R weeks and comes back from every R&R with more random shit from the dump. The worksite is on an Island and a lot of workers live on the camp as he does. So to get to the worksite and the camp you have to catch a ferry. What they think when they see him boarding carrying a bunch of stools and other random objects he found on his latest treasure hunt I don't know.
- His favourite thing to collect from the dump is posters / artwork. No idea why. But when you walk around the construction offices you will find traces of his handiwork everywhere. No ones office is off limits, nor the lunch rooms. He usually just finds a bunch of pictures, thinks who it would suit the most and puts them up in peoples offices. One of the English workers has an oil painting featuring an English countryside. Another worker from the US has a couple of pictures of astronauts and a space shuttle taking off, main office hallway has a mother giraffe kissing a baby Giraffe. All around the site I would have to think there would be hundreds of the things. They are everywhere.
My favourite is that in one of the Japanese workers office there is a picture of a Puffer fish. I'm not sure if he understands the irony of that.
- He always does stupid shit to his facial hair. He'll grow a beard for a while, then get bored, and just shave portions of it off. When I say portions I don't mean in any fashionable way, just whatever bit he decides comes off. Over November last year he decided he was going to shave only half his face. So on one side it was entirely unshaven, on the other, all of it was shaved.
The number 1 or 2 on the site, whatever, basically one of the biggest bosses on the project asked him if having half his face shaved was some sort of 'Movember' thing. Nutz bluntly replied "No I'm just a fucking idiot."
Anyway
My understanding is that the electricians on the site were all getting a bit shitty and the supervisor told them if they didn't like him or the way things were going they could move to the other side of the project (it was a rhetorical question). Didn't stop Nutz from putting his hand up and saying he would take him up on the offer.
So he got moved to the other side of the project and made leading hand as there wasn't really a division for electricians on our side at that time. On his first appearance on our side of the project, he marched himself into a meeting with all the senior management and proclaimed that with his entry the IQ pool of the room had just been increased significantly which was apparently met with some dumbfounded looks as at that point no one really knew who he was.
That sort of sums the guy up though; he is quick witted, likes to make those around him uncomfortable, isn't afraid of authority nor making an utter dick of himself. The main thing about the guy that is how sharp he is, when he makes a smart ass comment there is no pause or delay in his retort, he has a come back lined up and ready to fire before you've finished speaking. Despite passing himself of as a dumb ass and an inbred simpleton he is actually very sharp, witty and quite intelligent; but he has that sort of genius in him that is precariously balanced only by his eccentric nature.
He is kind of short, scrawny and carries himself rather 'fabulously' so he looks a little weird. Maybe he really is inbred. Not sure but anyway.
Some of his random antics.
- He loves getting shit from the dump. I'd hate to see what he has laying around the house at home. He is always going to the dump on his R&R weeks and comes back from every R&R with more random shit from the dump. The worksite is on an Island and a lot of workers live on the camp as he does. So to get to the worksite and the camp you have to catch a ferry. What they think when they see him boarding carrying a bunch of stools and other random objects he found on his latest treasure hunt I don't know.
- His favourite thing to collect from the dump is posters / artwork. No idea why. But when you walk around the construction offices you will find traces of his handiwork everywhere. No ones office is off limits, nor the lunch rooms. He usually just finds a bunch of pictures, thinks who it would suit the most and puts them up in peoples offices. One of the English workers has an oil painting featuring an English countryside. Another worker from the US has a couple of pictures of astronauts and a space shuttle taking off, main office hallway has a mother giraffe kissing a baby Giraffe. All around the site I would have to think there would be hundreds of the things. They are everywhere.
My favourite is that in one of the Japanese workers office there is a picture of a Puffer fish. I'm not sure if he understands the irony of that.
- He always does stupid shit to his facial hair. He'll grow a beard for a while, then get bored, and just shave portions of it off. When I say portions I don't mean in any fashionable way, just whatever bit he decides comes off. Over November last year he decided he was going to shave only half his face. So on one side it was entirely unshaven, on the other, all of it was shaved.
The number 1 or 2 on the site, whatever, basically one of the biggest bosses on the project asked him if having half his face shaved was some sort of 'Movember' thing. Nutz bluntly replied "No I'm just a fucking idiot."
I work with a guy that had a blown headlight. He refused to drive at night because of this so he just... Slept in his truck. For 2 weeks. He had an apartment.
Edit - I have loads more but I'm lazy. Don't feel like typing. Anyone who works at Walmart will have a lot of these.
George Oscar Bluth II
Banned
My best friend can be a weird guy at times, as in, his opinions can sometimes vary crazily and such.
He hates comics. Despises them. Calls them dumb picture books. Says all comics are for children and idiots. Loves a lot of comic films (Batman Begins, TDK, Iron Man, Avengers etc.). Says even though he hates comics, he can like the films they're based on, but he doesn't need to respect the source material in any way. He also has a huge hatred for Spider-Man or any hero he deems "stupid" and claims if Ant-Man is ever in the Avengers 3, he'll never watch it.
Maybe I just find it weird, but that attitude is really stupid, especially if you want to become an actor (like he does). You gotta respect the stuff that some of your favourite films are based on...
He hates comics. Despises them. Calls them dumb picture books. Says all comics are for children and idiots. Loves a lot of comic films (Batman Begins, TDK, Iron Man, Avengers etc.). Says even though he hates comics, he can like the films they're based on, but he doesn't need to respect the source material in any way. He also has a huge hatred for Spider-Man or any hero he deems "stupid" and claims if Ant-Man is ever in the Avengers 3, he'll never watch it.
Maybe I just find it weird, but that attitude is really stupid, especially if you want to become an actor (like he does). You gotta respect the stuff that some of your favourite films are based on...
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