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[The Artful Dodger]

Things took a turn for the better after tonight, and I want to thank GAF for the help, notably you, The Artful Dodger. There's nothing set in stone, but we're giving ourselves a period of time in order to see if we can bridge the gap in religious differences and I feel we're both in higher spirits (this is dangerously close to a pun). I'll definitely be hitting you up for info, as I'm interested in the books and any other advice that you'd recommend.

If things don't get patched up, I'm sure it'd be alright. But we're both putting in the effort and that's what counts.

Good to hear there're steps being taken. It's not easy, and looking back, I wasn't really honest with my lady about how deep I was in it. I guess, what I'm tryin' to say is, you two seem really strong (based on your words at least), and like...it's easier when you're on the same page.


I just helped a pal of mine move and his folks had been married for a long while and the wife is Catholic and he's not. So...it is doable. Best of luck.

So I didn't end up asking the girl out today. It was really busy at work, and I didn't get a chance to be alone with her.

Even if I was alone with her, I'm still unsure on how I'll come off if I asked her number and directly asked her out. She's 20 and I'm not sure if she's encountered guys that asked her out like that, and if she'd appreciate the directness or find it creepy.

I guess you can say I'm fearing rejection. She's gonna be coming in for another 3 weeks and I'm definitely gonna make my move by then, but I'm still puzzled by how I should approach it.

Don't wait to be "alone" with her. Just if you two have a moment when you're chattin ask her if she wants to go out, if you don't want to make it a date, then suggest coffee. Look, the way you learn to ride a bike is by falling off and getting back on. If you let the fear of rejection dictate your life then it's probably not gonna happen. Best of Luck Dawg.


Lol, wow this thread is really picking up and lotsa people are joining up. For a moment of Levity, here is another video from the man, Aziz Ansari.

Dumb people at Bars.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

Dating can sometimes can be a real test of one's patience and willingness to deal with a ton obstacles. The girl I'm seeing had a friend die this week and the funeral is over the weekend which put the kabosh on her and i getting together over the weekend unless she finds a little spare time and takes me up on my offer for lunch tomorrow. Its pretty frustrating since this is a rare weekend I have entirely off. However, since I really like her and the sparks go off whenever I see her, I'm learning how patient I can be. Thats the most important thing in dating, being patient and knowing how to deal with obstacles whether its family emergencies, work or both people getting really sick one after the other.

 

[nOoblet16]

Maybe send her one more text that is more direct. Say something like: "Hey! Want to get together this weekend?" And see if you get a response. If not, time to move on.

Would calling her instead be creepy?

 

[Servbot24]

I wish on OKCupid when I get a reply from someone I could still see how selectively they reply. I want to know if I accomplished something.

Also I hope it doesn't alert people when I visit someone's page a second time. >_>

EDIT: Just got a repeat visit from someone, so yes it does. And I'm revealed as a creeper to everyone, haha.

Speaking of which... I found pretty much the coolest girl I've ever seen on there. She responded to my first message, but after my second message I could see that she visited my profile again, but didn't respond to the message. Then she visited my profile again this morning. What's the deal >:/

 

[GK86]

Would calling her instead be creepy?

It's a phone number...why would that be creepy?

Creepy is leaving a note on a strangers car windshield.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Speaking of which... I found pretty much the coolest girl I've ever seen on there. She responded to my first message, but after my second message I could see that she visited my profile again, but didn't respond to the message. Then she visited my profile again this morning. What's the deal >:/

Messages take time.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Would calling her instead be creepy?

Not at all creepy. It's definitely more direct and to the point.

Speaking of which... I found pretty much the coolest girl I've ever seen on there. She responded to my first message, but after my second message I could see that she visited my profile again, but didn't respond to the message. Then she visited my profile again this morning. What's the deal >:/

She may be very busy and doesn't have time to respond or she may be going through your profile and trying to decide on her level of interest.

 

[TylerD]

Speaking of which... I found pretty much the coolest girl I've ever seen on there. She responded to my first message, but after my second message I could see that she visited my profile again, but didn't respond to the message. Then she visited my profile again this morning. What's the deal >:/

Maybe doing research for the reply?

In response to your previous post..

You have to be careful about that visitor stuff. Even if you disable it temporarily and then check out a profile then reenable the visitor settings you will show up again. Best way to really be a creeper is to create an alt account with no pic or something.

------

The girl sent me a headshot of her dressed up last night and I responded that she was a hot zombie. Then I got a torso\headshot and a full body pic... Damn! (which was my response to that), she is fit but curvy in the best possible ways. Makes me want to attack!

Working on trying to do something with her Sunday night. She has a friend coming to stay with her tonight and doesn't know when she will leave but sounds like she will probably be down.

 

[Servbot24]

Messages take time.

Huh. I always just immediately type out whatever comes to mind, but maybe some people take more time and are more deliberate.

@Tyler I've just been checking profiles in a private browser

 

[nOoblet16]

It's a phone number...why would that be creepy?

Creepy is leaving a note on a strangers car windshield.

Just thought it might creep or freak her out considering I didn't get any response to the text I sent earlier. But whatever, I guess I'll call, I'm not much of a phone talker though but I think I need to do it this one time.

 

[zeemumu]

Just thought it might creep or freak her out considering I didn't get any response to the text I sent earlier. But whatever, I guess I'll call, I'm not much of a phone talker though but I think I need to do it this one time.

Why would she give you her actual number and not expect you to use it?

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Why would she give you her actual number and not expect you to use it?

To be fair, lots of people prefer to text these days rather than actually talk on the phone. I know people who have smartphones and almost never talk on them. They use them for texting, Twitter, Facebook and so on, but rarely do they actually talk.

 

[nOoblet16]

Why would she give you her actual number and not expect you to use it?

Beats me, cause I'm wondering the same thing as per why she never responded to my text sent three days ago.
And this is after having spoken to her for 3 hours straight and indulging in all sort of conversations the night I got her number.

 

[Servbot24]

Some people are just bad texters tbh. Some of my good friends don't respond to my texts because they forget or their phone layout sucks and they missed it, stuff like that.

 

[nOoblet16]

Some people are just bad texters tbh. Some of my good friends don't respond to my texts because they forget or their phone layout sucks and they missed it, stuff like that.

Perhaps iOS7 is to be blamed here.

 

[Servbot24]

if iOS7 has any problem it's that it reminds me of new messages too incessantly.

 

[zeemumu]

Beats me, cause I'm wondering the same thing as per why she never responded to my text sent three days ago.
And this is after having spoken to her for 3 hours straight and indulging in all sort of conversations the night I got her number.

Don't start keeping track of the time, it'll drive you insane.

To be fair, lots of people prefer to text these days rather than actually talk on the phone. I know people who have smartphones and almost never talk on them. They use them for texting, Twitter, Facebook and so on, but rarely do they actually talk.

I know we prefer to text rather than talk, but I don't think that's out of preference and convenience. I have a friend whose text responses are notoriously slow, so I was trying to think of a way to get through a whole conversation without having to wait half a day in between responses and I realized "Hey, this phone makes phone calls!" So I don't think it would be TOO weird for him to call her. I doubt that she'll expect a call rather than a text but I don't think she'll be too upset to find out that her phone is a phone. If she's wondering why he called then he can just tell her the truth, "Hey, I tried texting you but I didn't get a reply."

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

if iOS7 has any problem it's that it reminds me of new messages too incessantly.

Mine is set to remind me twice and that's all I need. I'm a round, I'll respond quickly. If not, I'll respond when I can.

I know we prefer to text rather than talk, but I don't think that's out of preference and convenience. I have a friend whose text responses are notoriously slow, so I was trying to think of a way to get through a whole conversation without having to wait half a day in between responses and I realized "Hey, this phone makes phone calls!" So I don't think it would be TOO weird for him to call her. I doubt that she'll expect a call rather than a text but I don't think she'll be too upset to find out that her phone is a phone. If she's wondering why he called then he can just tell her the truth, "Hey, I tried texting you but I didn't get a reply."

I agree, which is why I recommended that he call her in my post above. I was just offering an explanation as to why someone might give out a number but not want to talk on the phone.

And my girl and I text and email more than we talk on the phone too.

 

[zeemumu]

And my girl and I text and email more than we talk on the phone too.

Texting is my preferred use of my phone if I'm in public. If I'm at home or something I'll call. To be completely honest I enjoy getting letters more than any amount of texts or phone calls.

 

[nOoblet16]

Don't start keeping track of the time, it'll drive you insane.

I'm not anymore, because I'm not expecting any response from her for that.
I'll call her sometime this weekend, it's probably the best thing to do.

But like I said I am a terrible talker on phone, face to face is great cause of body language and you can see the other person's reaction...phone not so much. With texting you have the liberty of taking your time to think about what you want to say.

 

[TylerD]

I have been using iMessage on my iPhone 5 work phone to communicate. Only have 200 texts on my personal cell and I cant upgrade without losing my grandfathered unlimited data plan through AT&T.

 

[zeemumu]

But like I said I am a terrible talker on phone, face to face is great cause of body language and you can see the other person's reaction...phone not so much. With texting you have the liberty of taking your time to think about what you want to say.

I feel like facetime was created for this exact purpose.

 

[TylerD]

But like I said I am a terrible talker on phone, face to face is great cause of body language and you can see the other person's reaction...phone not so much. With texting you have the liberty of taking your time to think about what you want to say.

AND you have the liberty to read between the lines and really stress yourself out too. Not that I have done that at all over the past couple of weeks. lol

 

[nOoblet16]

AND you have the liberty to read between the lines and really stress yourself out too. Not that I have done that at all over the past couple of weeks. lol

True, it's what destroyed my relation with this other woman who actually liked me for a change.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Texting is my preferred use of my phone if I'm in public. If I'm at home or something I'll call. To be completely honest I enjoy getting letters more than any amount of texts or phone calls.

I'm about the same in terms of talking and texting. I haven't had a letter in years, but my girlfriend and I send each other ridiculously long emails every day which, always put a smile on my face when I get them. I pretty much drop everything to go read it.

I'm getting on a plane to see her in a two hours and she sent me an email earlier none the less.

 

[zeemumu]

I'm about the same in terms of talking and texting. I haven't had a letter in years, but my girlfriend and I send each other ridiculously long emails every day which, always put a smile on my face when I get them. I pretty much drop everything to go read it.

I'm getting on a plane to see her in a two hours and she sent me an email earlier none the less.

I'm supposed to be receiving a letter from myself in about 2 years.

 

[Leeness]

Dating can sometimes can be a real test of one's patience and willingness to deal with a ton obstacles. The girl I'm seeing had a friend die this week and the funeral is over the weekend which put the kabosh on her and i getting together over the weekend unless she finds a little spare time and takes me up on my offer for lunch tomorrow. Its pretty frustrating since this is a rare weekend I have entirely off. However, since I really like her and the sparks go off whenever I see her, I'm learning how patient I can be. Thats the most important thing in dating, being patient and knowing how to deal with obstacles whether its family emergencies, work or both people getting really sick one after the other.

???

Uh what? Her friend died and she ~has~ to attend the funeral and it's making you frustrated?

...am I misunderstanding? :/

 

[n64coder]

To be fair, lots of people prefer to text these days rather than actually talk on the phone. I know people who have smartphones and almost never talk on them. They use them for texting, Twitter, Facebook and so on, but rarely do they actually talk.

That's what I'm noticing about my daughter who is a teenager. It's rare that she talks on a phone. It's email/chat/text or face-to-face. There's one boy she communicates with but it's only via text. Never face-to-face or on the phone. Weird I say.

I have been using iMessage on my iPhone 5 work phone to communicate. Only have 200 texts on my personal cell and I cant upgrade without losing my grandfathered unlimited data plan through AT&T.

That might no longer be a restriction or worse case, you buy an unlocked phone. Check out the 5S thread or post in it to find out how you can get around it.

 

[Devolution]

???

Uh what? Her friend died and she ~has~ to attend the funeral and it's making you frustrated?

...am I misunderstanding? :/

It's frustrating he can't meet up with someone he likes during days he has off. What's there to misunderstand?

 

[PflargBlarg]

Seriously, her friend dies, and the first thought is "wow, this is frustrating and really messes up my weekend plans".

ಠ_ಠ

 

[Devolution]

Seriously, her friend dies, and the first thought is "wow, this is frustrating and really messes up my weekend plans".

ಠ_ಠ

I don't think people need to jump on the guy. If circumstances kept coming up in which your off days to spend with someone kept getting fucked over it would be frustrating. She's going to be in mourning, that kind of sucks too. You can air these frustrations and still be sensitive to what's happening to a person. These are not mutually exclusive feelings.

 

[PhoenixDark]

Dating can sometimes can be a real test of one's patience and willingness to deal with a ton obstacles. The girl I'm seeing had a friend die this week and the funeral is over the weekend which put the kabosh on her and i getting together over the weekend unless she finds a little spare time and takes me up on my offer for lunch tomorrow. Its pretty frustrating since this is a rare weekend I have entirely off. However, since I really like her and the sparks go off whenever I see her, I'm learning how patient I can be. Thats the most important thing in dating, being patient and knowing how to deal with obstacles whether its family emergencies, work or both people getting really sick one after the other.

So if you don't really really like her, you wouldn't have the patience to wait for her to deal with the death of her friend? You're quite the catch, bro.

 

[zeemumu]

So if you don't really really like her, you wouldn't have the patience to wait for her to deal with the death of her friend? You're quite the catch, bro.

I think you're twisting it a little. He definitely should be more considerate towards is girlfriend's feelings, especially after a death, but I don't think he's trying to say that he wouldn't have cared if he didn't have feelings for her. From what I can tell, he and his girlfriend don't see each other often, and he's okay with waiting because he has feelings for her. The funeral was an example, albeit not a very good one.

 

[Raiden]

Beats me, cause I'm wondering the same thing as per why she never responded to my text sent three days ago.
And this is after having spoken to her for 3 hours straight and indulging in all sort of conversations the night I got her number.

How did you guys meet? What i mean is were you both sober? Because people give/ask numbers more easily when you're a tad bit drowsy.

 

[Courage]

Good to hear there're steps being taken. It's not easy, and looking back, I wasn't really honest with my lady about how deep I was in it. I guess, what I'm tryin' to say is, you two seem really strong (based on your words at least), and like...it's easier when you're on the same page.


I just helped a pal of mine move and his folks had been married for a long while and the wife is Catholic and he's not. So...it is doable. Best of luck.




Don't wait to be "alone" with her. Just if you two have a moment when you're chattin ask her if she wants to go out, if you don't want to make it a date, then suggest coffee. Look, the way you learn to ride a bike is by falling off and getting back on. If you let the fear of rejection dictate your life then it's probably not gonna happen. Best of Luck Dawg.


Lol, wow this thread is really picking up and lotsa people are joining up. For a moment of Levity, here is another video from the man, Aziz Ansari.

Dumb people at Bars.

Wait coffee isn't considered a date?

 

[NeOak]

I have been using iMessage on my iPhone 5 work phone to communicate. Only have 200 texts on my personal cell and I cant upgrade without losing my grandfathered unlimited data plan through AT&T.

The 20 bucks one? They can put you on the 30 bucks one and give you 1000 messages for 10 bucks if you want too.

 

[Pau]

Wait coffee isn't considered a date?

Depends on how you frame it. But it certainly can be.

 

[Courage]

Depends on how you frame it. But it certainly can be.

Can you be more specific, I'm a doofus.

 

[nOoblet16]

How did you guys meet? What i mean is were you both sober? Because people give/ask numbers more easily when you're a tad bit drowsy.

I was at a pub with my friends and one of them went out for a smoke and he started talking to her, after a while she came inside the pub and joined us. Then I started talking to her and found out that she's a gamer and that we have a lot of common life goals. From that point on till the very end (which would be around 3 hours like I mentioned before) she only had a glass of wine which I bought for her and I had just one cocktail.

When we were about to leave I asked if I could have her number to which she said of course and then I gave her mine. After that she called taxis for both of us and we talked a some more while we were waiting for them to arrive.

 

[TylerD]

The 20 bucks one? They can put you on the 30 bucks one and give you 1000 messages for 10 bucks if you want too.

This is my data/msg plan on my Lumia 920, been on the plan since 2009:

Unlim data for 4G LTE Smartphones w/Visual Voice Mail 200msg $35.00.

Can't upgrade my msging without having to choose a limited data plan.

Anyway, it really is no big deal. Pretty sure I have unlimited msging on my work phone anyway and don't mind using iMessage. I keep it on my person.

---

Anyway, back on topic...

It feels good to want to blow through time as fast as possible to see someone again. Has me working out and going to bed early and generally staying busy. That sleeping really does a good job of passing time.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

I don't think people need to jump on the guy. If circumstances kept coming up in which your off days to spend with someone kept getting fucked over it would be frustrating. She's going to be in mourning, that kind of sucks too. You can air these frustrations and still be sensitive to what's happening to a person. These are not mutually exclusive feelings.

Yeah I was just airing my frustrations that we can't see eachother this weekend which has happened before. The person who died was not even that close a friend but was really close to one of her close friends. Im trying to be supportive of her but I can only do so much since I'm not part of that group. So its frustrating that I can't be there more for her as well as not being able to see her.

 

[NIGHT-]

Well, I had a pretty good date sunday. We hung out talked and laughed for a couple hours and watched a movie. We made out for a while during the movie and afterwards I told her I should be heading out for work tomorrow. She asked "Am I gonna hear from you again?", to which I replied I'd love to take you out to dinner this friday. She suggested a Sushi and all was well, until the next day that is. I texted her the next day and we talked back and forth and she started getting short. I didn't feel too weird on it. I texted her tuesday and no reply.. So I let it go until today and text her asking how her halloween went, trying to get a feel of if she's still down for tonight. Still haven't got a reply so obviously the date is off. Kinda sucks, I thought we hit it off well and she was fun to hang with. Just weird that she was so direct about wanting to talk more and hang out friday during the date

 

[Mr.Swag]

Slow work has paid off/ is going to.

Don't know if anyone remembers me talking about a girl I had to do a project with, well we finally met up in the library today.


Fucking go ahead signals everywhere.

We talked for the whole time we were there, got to know each other pretty well, and it's really obvious we are into each other.


So I kinda asked her out!

I haven't done that in a while, so I didn't set a specific date, but next time we work on the project I'm a take her out to some Cuban food DD

Now, one thing I've done with this girl is to put in mad patience, I'm talking about I literally just got her number yesterday, and the first time we talked was around a month ago lol.
But, as I'm writing this we are texting!!

Ahhh I feel nervous/excited because she's exactly what I am looking for.

Now, the part which eats at me constantly is: she has no idea about me and my pasttimes.

From what we spoke today I came off as a good kid who reads and is majoring in English.
Reality is that this morning I was doing bumps of coke as I drove to get myself breakfast while my mom was having surgery....
So i ain't no role model.

But, I'm also actually a good person!! I do read! And I am majoring in English!

She might know I smoke weed tho, we lightly grazed the topic. But I didn't flat out say it.



Now, I know I'm just rambling a lot, but that's cause I want advice.


How do I not fuck this up?
This is the first (possible)relationship out of basically 3 relationships I've had that I actually want to do great in.
Previous girls, were just easy, no effort envolved really.


Basically, what are the do's and don'ts of starting a relationship?


I am pulling a spongebob and forgetting everything I know about relationships.

 

[Leeness]

Yeah I was just airing my frustrations that we can't see eachother this weekend which has happened before. The person who died was even that close a friend but was really close to one of her close friends. Im trying to be supportive of her but I can only do so much since I'm not part of that group. So its frustrating that I can't be there more for her as well as not being able to see her.

Okay, fair enough. Sorry for that. I just saw that and was like, WAT, but no, that's fair

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

Okay, fair enough. Sorry for that. I just saw that and was like, WAT, but no, that's fair

Its all good, I could have expressed what I was trying to say better. Its just hard, really liking someone and wanting to spend time with her and be there in times of need but not being able to. Probably the best thing to do is to give her the space to get through the weekend and the funeral and then reconnect sunday night and see how she's doing. I would prefer to be able to do more for her in a time of need but thats not in the cards. I feel powerless because I can't be there as much as I'd like.

 

[Mr.Swag]

I'm gonna rephrase my post:
I'm talking to a girl and I don't want to fuck it up.

What the hell do I do?

 

[Leeness]

Its all good, I could have expressed what I was trying to say better. Its just hard, really liking someone and wanting to spend time with her and be there in times of need but not being able to. Probably the best thing to do is to give her the space to get through the weekend and the funeral and then reconnect sunday night and see how she's doing. I would prefer to be able to do more for her in a time of need but thats not in the cards. I feel powerless because I can't be there as much as I'd like.

Aw, that sucks. I agree though, just maybe say "let me know if you need anything" and then ask how it went at the end of the weekend

Do you two live a ways away from each other?

 

[Servbot24]

I'm gonna rephrase my post:
I'm talking to a girl and I don't want to fuck it up.

What the hell do I do?

Be confident. Treat her nice but not overly nice. Be yourself, and if she doesn't like that then you've done yourself a the favor of cutting to the chase.

 

[Courage]

I'm gonna rephrase my post:
I'm talking to a girl and I don't want to fuck it up.

What the hell do I do?

What did you mess up on with the previous girls? Were you unfaithful? Were there times you ignored them? Just don't let that shit happen now.

 

[Mr.Swag]

Be confident. Treat her nice but not overly nice. Be yourself, and if she doesn't like that then you've done yourself a the favor of cutting to the chase.

The overly nice part is what confuses me.
I'm a cheap bastard, but I'm of course willing to pay for everything.
Is it an untold rule of first dates that a man pays?

Also, people say chicks love funny dudes, but is too much funny too much?
Like I'm capable of making a girl laugh non stop, but will they take me serious if I'm all jokes?